Are ya ready kids?! It's Spongebob remake time! This time it's based off of Sailor Mouth. This is another classic! Enjoy!
Part of "I Am… All of Me" by Crush 40 plays in the background of the title card until it switches to the Chaotix detective agency.
Vector: Well, it's the worst time of the day once again.
He turns over the sign as he cries.
Vector: Closing time!
As he cries, Charmy exits the agency.
Charmy: Well, see you in the A.M. Vector!
But before he could leave, Vector grabs him and pulls him back in.
Vector: Hold on Charmy! Take that pile of filth out with you.
Espio is seen smirking as he holds a bag of garbage.
Charmy: *gasp* Vector, you shouldn't talk about Espio like that!
Espio gets annoyed.
Espio: He means THIS filth, you loon!
Charmy takes the bag of garbage out back and throws it in the dumpster. After he throws it away, he notices words on the dumpster and starts reading them.
Charmy: Ooh! Dumpster writing! The voice of the people! "Up with speed, down with water!" Hahaha! Must've been Sonic! "Flickies are people too!" Ha, those flickies! Here's one someone didn't finish. "Espio smells…"
He writes one more word.
Charmy "... GOOD." Hmm… what's this one? "Vector is a…"
He couldn't finish because the last word (which was offscreen) was one he's never seen or heard before.
Charmy: "Vector is a #?% ."
Eggman was there in his part time garbage man job disgusted.
Eggman: Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?
Eggman walked away with the garbage bags repulsed.
Charmy: Well, I would but I don't… have one.
Charmy was confused at Eggman's reaction. Why was he commenting about his mouth? He just shrugged it off as his best friend from the Sol dimension came.
Marine: 'Evenin', Eggface! 'Evenin' Charmy! Watcha doing?
Charmy: Hi Marine! Marine, do you know what this word means?
Charmy points at the strange phrase he read and Marine examines it.
Marine: "Vector..." Isn't that the big mouthed green guy you work for?
Charmy: No, not that word, THAT word.
Marine: Hmm... "#?% "... Hey! I think I know what that means! That's one of those sentence enhancers.
Charmy: Sentence enhancers?
Marine: You use them when you wanna talk fancy. You just sprinkle it over anything you say, and Wham-O! You've got yourself a spicy sentence sandwich!
Charmy: Oh, I get it! Let me try. Ahem! Hello Marine, what a lovely #?% day we're having, isn't it?
Marine: Indeed, Charmy. This #?% day is particularly #?% lovely.
Charmy: How #?% right you are, Marine. #?% !
Marine: #?% !
Charmy: #?% !
Marine: #?% !
Charmy: Ooh, You're right, Marine, my lips are tingling from the spiciness of this conversation.
Marine: Mine too!
They laugh together.
Marine: It tingles even more when we laugh!
French Narrator: The next day…
Charmy was walking through the park and he was saying the word everywhere he went.
Charmy: Hello everybody! Nice #?% day we're having, huh?
Everyone in the park pauses in pure shock of what they just heard.
Rouge: D-did he just say…!?
Omega: AFFIRMATIVE! HE DID!
Charmy: Hey Marine! How the #?% are ya?
Marine: Pretty #?% good, Charmy!
Eggman Nega: I thought this was a park, not a gutter mouth convention.
Charmy keeps talking while using the word. Everybody froze in what they were doing and stared with mouths gaping open. Amy was chasing Sonic, Tails was working on the tornado, even Knuckles, who was gliding, stopped in mid air as if time stopped. Vanilla was so angry hearing such words out of a kid her daughter's age, that she rolled up Cream's ears and put ear muffs on Cheese. Charmy and Marine approached Espio.
Charmy: Hey Espio! How the #?% are ya?
Marine: Nice #?% day, isn't it, ninja dude?
Espio cringed after those sentences and his ear ached.
Silver: I don't understand. That guy's talented, he doesn't have to work blue.
Blaze: Let's go somewhere more FAMILY oriented!
Everyone left the park in anger. Later Vector came out of the bathroom and was confused of the park being empty all of a sudden.
Vector: Huh? Where'd everybody go? Espio, what happened?
Espio: Well, apparently Charmy and his little girlfriend just learned a new word, and they just spat it out everywhere they went.
Vector: Well, what was it? What'd they say?
Espio got nervous for a second as he didn't want to say it himself, so he just whispered it in Vector's ear.
Vector: Huh?
He whispers it again and Vector gasps in anger.
Vector: CHARMY! MARINE! GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW!
Charmy and Marine sped over as quick as Sonic.
Vector: Why, I oughta make you two paint the agency for using such language!
Charmy: But Vector, we were only using our sentence enhancers.
Marine: Yeah! You got a problem with fancy talk?
Vector: There is absolutely nothing fancy about that word!
Charmy: You mean, #?% ?
Vector: Yes! That one! Now quit saying that! It's a BAD WORD!
Charmy and Marine: BAD WORD!?
They immediately started wiping their tongues.
Vector: Yes sirree, that is bad word #11. In fact, there are 13 bad words you should NEVER use!
Espio: I thought there were only 7.
Vector: Not if you know a certain black hedgehog.
Charmy: Wow! 13!
Marine: That's a lot of #?% bad words.
Vector: Alright you two. I want you to promise me, you'll never use that word again.
Charmy and Marine: We promise!
Charmy and Marine went to Charmy's house, swearing that they'll never use the word again.
Charmy: Gee, I'm glad Vector told us that word we were using was a bad word.
Marine: Yeah, me too, because classy sophisticates like us shouldn't stain our lips with cursing.
Charmy: Preferably, now let's play some Super Mario Party!
Marine: Oh boy! My favorite!
Charmy selected Luigi and Marine selected Daisy. It was Charmy's turn to roll.
Charmy: Come on! I need a new pair of shoes!
Charmy rolls the dice and ends up on a bad luck space.
Charmy: Aw!
Marine: My turn!
Marine rolled and made it to the shop where she bought the Golden Pipe which will teleport her instantly to the star.
Charmy: I wanted that!
Marine: Too bad! I was first!
They played the minigame Don't Wake Wiggler, which Charmy lost when he woke up Wiggler, and Marine managed to pet it safely without waking it up.
Charmy: Oh come on! That was pure luck!
Marine: I still win!
The next turn, Charmy got crushed by a Whomp and Marine used the Golden Pipe to get to the star.
Charmy: Grr!
Throughout the game, Marine kept beating Charmy until reaching the end.
Marine: This is your last chance Charm Charm. If you don't get any bonus stars for your efforts, you lose!
Charmy: Grr! C'mon! C'mon! C'mon!
As the bonus stars were rewarded. Marine and some of the CPUs got stars, but Charmy got nothing.
Marine: I WIN! WOOOOOOO!
Charmy: AAAAAAAAHH! #?% !
Charmy immediately covered his mouth, but it was too late.
Marine: OOOOOOOOH! You said #11!
Charmy: *gasp* I didn't mean to Marine! You gotta understand!
Marine: Oh, I understand Charmy…
…
Marine: VECTOR!
Marine dashed out of Charmy's house to tattle on Charmy. Charmy followed in quick pursuit.
Charmy: NO! Marine! Please, don't tell!
Marine: But you said "#?% "!
Charmy: AHA! Now I'M gonna tell Vector on YOU!
Charmy starts flying.
Marine: Not if I tell first!
Charmy: I can fly and you can't!
Marine uses a slingshot to shoot herself in Charmy's direction.
Marine: See you at the agency!
But she crashes into a tree branch, allowing Charmy to get there first.
Charmy: VECTOR! VECTOR! VECTOR!
Vector: WHAT?! WHAT?! WHAT?!
Charmy: MARINE! MARINE! MARINE!
Vector: YES? YES? YES!
Charmy: SHE SAID-! SHE SAID-! SHE SAID-!
Vector: Get on with it, Charmy!
Charmy: Me and Marine were playing Super Mario Party, and Marine was beating me, then we ran and Marine, she said some things.
Vector: What did she say?
Charmy: Well, uh, let's just say she said a certain word that you said we shouldn't say, and this particular word happens to be number 11 in the 13 words you said shouldn't be said.
Charmy was talking too fast and complicated for Vector to understand.
Vector: Uh... right, now what was that part about the, um... Who now?
Marine ran in the door with leaves in her fur. She quickly brushed them off and ran to Vector.
Marine: VECTOR! VECTOR! VECTOR!
The two keep on babbling each other about the word until they go into gibberish.
Charmy and Marine: DAH! DAH! DAH! DAH! DAH! DAH!
Vector had enough and grabbed the two of them by the lips.
Vector: Now, I'm going to let go of your lips, and when I do, I want you to CALMLY, tell me what is need to be told.
Vector let's go and they take a deep breath.
Charmy and Marine: SHE/HE SAID #?% !
Vector: *gasp* Do my ears deceive me?! You two should be ashamed! Time to take out the trash!
Vector throws them outside.
Vector: You two need to be taught a lesson. I thought I made it clear. Never, and I mean, NEVER use number 11 or any of the 13 bad words! Now the both of you wait right here. I'll be back with a suitable punishment.
Marine: What's gonna happen to us?
Charmy: We'll probably get 40 lashes!
Marine: Oh no!
She imagines herself with that many eyelashes.
Charmy: I'm sorry, Marine. There's no need for words like that.
Marine: I'm sorry too, Charmy.
Charmy: Let's make a vow, Marine. From this day forth. A foul word shall never pass our lips again. We'll be good citizens, just like Vector!
Marine: True dat!
Vector comes out of the agency with cans of paint and paintbrushes.
Vector: All right, you two foul mouths. As punishment for fouling the air in the agency with your foul words, you're going to give the place a fresh coat of paint from top to bottom.
Just then, Vector stubs his toe on a rock and drops everything.
Vector: Ow, Ooh! Ow! My #?% foot! What #?% genius put a #?% rock in a #?% path?! Can't you see I got a $!&) foot here?! Oh! ?&)-! *#*! ][#!
Charmy and Marine were shocked to what they were hearing and started counting every word they heard.
Charmy: …five, six, seven…
Vector: ...a whole lotta |\#£!? and with a side of ?.)$#}, a heapin' helpin' of +=~]}^# and a boatload of )$&(]...
Marine: …nine…
Vector: Ooh €£€\# stupid #%{'c Ooh-hoo-uh!
Charmy: That's all thirteen! We're telling your mother, Vector!
Vector: No! Please! Not my mommy!
Charmy and Marine make a run for it and Vector follows.
Vector: Wait! Please, don't tell my mother! I don't think her little old heart can take it!
The kids make it to the house and bang on the door.
Charmy and Marine: Mrs. Crocodile! Mrs. Crocodile!
Vector's mother answers the door.
Vector's mom: Why hello there!
The three talk over each other trying to ray about the bad words they said. Vector's mom was overwhelmed and couldn't process what was going on.
Vector's mom: Oh dear! My poor little heart! *faints*
Vector grabs her before she hit the ground and cries his tears away. Vector rarely cries. Charmy and Marine stood there feeling sorry.
Vector: You two should be ASHAMED! Making an old lady faint with your hedgehog talk!
Suddenly Vector's mom gets up even more angry.
Vector's mom: You should ALL be ashamed! And if you're going to talk like hedgehogs, then you're going to WORK like hedgehogs.
The three are later seen running on giant hamster wheels to power Vector's mother's blender.
Vector's mom: I guess you scallywags have earned a glass of lemonade. Ha ha ha!
She stubs her toe on a rock like her son did before.
Vector's mom: YAAAAAAAAAAAH! MY %*+ FOOT!
All three gasp in shock.
Vector: Mother!
Vector's mom: What? That wasn't me. It was that black hedgehog.
?: }?*}\ machine!
The camera pans to see Shadow the Hedgehog trying to get his candy out of a snack machine.
Shadow: I gave you my {\?¥* dollar! Now give me my #£€ & candy!
He starts smashing it. The four watching start laughing.
The End
Vector-Mr. Krabs
Charmy-Spongebob
Espio-Squidward
Eggman-Garbage Man
Marine-Patrick
Rouge-Harold
Omega-Pirate Fish
Eggman Nega-Old Man Jenkins (at the beginning)
Vanilla-Mother Octopus
Cream and Cheese-Octopus Children(though they weren't laughing)
Sonic, Tails, Amy, and Knuckles-Customers that froze
Silver-Tom
Blaze-Evelyn
Super Mario Party (owned by Nintendo)-Eels and Escalators
Vector's mother-Mama Krabs
Shadow-Old Man Jenkins (at the end)
I hope you enjoyed! In case you didn't know, Marine the Racoon is from Sonic Rush Adventure and Eggman Nega is Eggman's descendant/dimensional counterpart from the Sonic Rush and Sonic Rivals series.
Sonic characters are owned by Sega, except for Vector's mother who I made up just for this story.
Spongebob is owned by Viacom and Nickelodeon.