Hi guys,

Sorry I've not updated recently, my house has had a plague over it in the last 10 days with my son returning from nursery with a flu like bug that wiped us all out - We're all better now but it has been like having a red cross over our door! But an extra long chapter to say sorry :-)

So today's the day. Poor Adrien has to face his fear. Just a small note before we continue:

Please don't burn me about what happens in the tattoo parlour. Please keep in mind that everything is just for comedy purposes and I know that what I am writing wouldn't happen in a professional setting. I have a couple of piercings myself (various ear types and bellybutton) and two tattoos so I am not a stranger to the basic practices of the tattoo parlours. I have been to the same place over the years for all mine and the staff were brilliant. Really reassuring, professional and above all I had fun whilst I was there they put my nerves at ease - considering I was 18 when I got my first tattoo and probably as nervous as Adrien even without the needle phobia!

Anyhew, it's just a story, my side characters aren't real and honestly as much as I love him I'm just doing it to put poor Adrien through the wringer bless him in a way that hopefully you'll find funny!

As always thanks for the support. You guys are awesome! I hope you're enjoying this story as much as I am writing it. We're half way through now and even though it's only been 24 hours I think Adrien is already feeling it - he still has a lot of drama to tackle yet so bless him lets get on with it ...

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Adrien rolled onto his back in a semi conscious state trying to open his eyes, as he heard soft snuffling to the right of him. Blearily he reached out to the side table, picking up his phone and wincing as the bright light from the device activating at his touch assaulted his tired eyes.

5.38 am. Putting his hand over his eyes, he rubbed them hard to try to wake himself up. Of course she would rise with the sun, he thought ruefully.

Tiredly he rolled onto his right hand side, and looked through the bars of the cot to see a pair of bluebell eyes watching him. As soon as he made eye contact she smiled brightly and started blabbering away, kicking her legs in excitement, clearly glad that her carer was finally awake. He couldn't help chuckling thinking that this would be a lovely way to wake up in the morning, better than any alarm clock he had ever owned. Maybe not every morning he mused wondering whether 9 months of waking up consistently dad in day out at that time would eventually turn him into a coffee guzzling lunatic. He suspected that he would.

"Good morning BB." He whispered softly, smiling at her. She kicked her legs up again rolling around on her back. Clearly she was hungry.

Plagg grumbled from his spot at the head of bed on the opposite side, "reason 367 not to have a baby; the stupid o'clock morning wake up calls. I'm going to sleep. Wake me in time for brunch."

Adrien rolled his eyes at his Kwami's grumbles and swinging his legs out of bed, sat on the edge of the bed for a minute to get his bearings and make sure he was fully awake. He got up, padding through to his ensuite to relieve himself and once his hands were washed he returned back to the cot picking her up and sauntering into the kitchen. After he had prepared her bottle, leaving it to cool in the cold water in the sink, he changed her nappy giving her a wash with the warm ladybug flannel and changed her onesie. Whilst they waited for the milk to cool, he flicked on his coffee machine and made himself a latte.

Sipping at the hot drink, with BB strapped into her highchair, he leaned against the counter and stared off into space a little as his tired brain started to clear with the stimulant and thinking about what he had to face today. It was going to be a hard day for him for two reasons. He knew that he had to face his fear of needles and once that was done he would have to cleanse the akuma reverting everything back.

He looked at BB, smiling sadly at her. He wouldn't get to spend anymore time with her from this afternoon. In the cold light of the barely there morning he started doubting the decisions he had made in the last 24 hours. What if she was mad when she found out that her identity had been compromised considering how stoically she had refused in the past about revealing their civilian identities? The same doubts that Master Fu has assuaged yesterday came back to the forefront of his mind. Maybe she would see that the identity reveal part was a complete accident considering that he had realised who she was soon as she saw his clothes and had it been the other way around, he had no doubt that she would have recognised him from the clothes that he had been wearing that morning and probably the ring that he had worn since he was 14 that was completely unique.

Would she have done the same though for Chat? Would she have dropped him off at the Agrest mansion and not looked after him herself as he had done with her? She knew about his father and Natalie so he doubted that she would have just abandoned him, but a part of him knew that maybe she would have been a little more reluctant to look after him as a baby as kind and caring as she naturally was. His love and devotion to Ladybug made him see the things that she had done as a baby as cute and adorable. But she was also very private and shy about herself, would she be mortified that he had cleared up her drool and spit ups and worse changed her nappies? It might be something that she was too embarrassed to face him with after the event after all was said and done. And he was Chat Noir, her notoriously goofy, irresponsible and carefree partner. Maybe the future revealing of his identity was not going to be as easygoing and accepting as his partner's had been.

Although it hadn't crossed his mind about the fact that he was in love with her and had been yearning for her as a young teenager and now a man for the past few years, that love in his mind had easily transcended into an unconditional love for a child. He still felt that love for her as a man for a woman, and he hoped that when she was in her adult form that it would easily switch back. It was almost like his brain had switched off the fact that she was Ladybug, she was in essence the perfect projection of the baby that he had always longed for in his heart when he thought of one day having a family with Ladybug. Although he had always pictured that his little girl, his perfect little kitten, would be the embodiment of her feisty mother but have her lovesick fathers emerald green eyes.

He wondered if she would see it that way when he had to explain what had happened? He started to wonder if the hope when he found out who she was would lead to the possibility of a future with her as they were already such good friends inside and outside of the mask, was seriously misplaced and that maybe the worst would happen and he would end up losing his friendship with her.

The morose thoughts plagued him a little as his heart suddenly plummeted when he thought about his second fear that he had to face today. He had to have his ears pierced. He was booked in for 1 o'clock at a reputable tattoo parlour just ten minutes away. He had originally thought of having it done in a beauty parlour but he had immediately quashed that line of thinking when he realised that he would be surrounded by women who would no doubt update their Instagram within seconds of him walking through the door. And with a baby in tow! He wasn't being big headed just realistic when he believed that Instagram would probably explode.

Upon quickly researching the topic of ear piercing he also realised that most of the forum recommendations advised to have it done in a reputable tattoo parlour with a piercing expert. Which he wasn't arguing with the suggestions. He figured that the people he encountered there would be a lot less interested in him than the women who worked and attended a beauty parlour for their weekly appointments.

Shaking his head and squashing his fears very far down he placed his spent cup next to the sink and turned back to the milk that had been cooling. At perfect temperature, he set the pair of them up on the couch and fed her her bottle.

The morning passed in a haze for him, as he prepared for the day. Breakfast was a little less messy as it consisted of croissants, cheese and ham with slices of fruit. After an internal conflict the night before which he was sure would have ended in his brain haemorrhaging he had gone for a shower and had instantly felt better after climbing into bed all clean. Even though he'd gone to bed with wet hair and woken with a rats nest that even as his alter ego would class as a bad hair day, he felt like he had made the right decision and sleep had overtaken very easily. So with that in mind he knew that he only needed a quick sluice, and a good dousing of hair products to tame the wild nest of hair on his head, he would be ready for the afternoon. Taking into consideration BB's want of trashing everything with her drool and spit up he decided to do that in the last half an hour they were due to leave so he had the rest of the morning to spend with her.

After breakfast he had happily sat on the rug with her and played with her toys, playing peekaboo and chasing her around the apartment on all fours as she wiggled away from him in all directions. He also learnt in that time from her chomping on his hand, that she had two sets of teeth on the left side of her mouth which seemed to not be visible but he definitely felt the ridges make their mark on his forefinger. The playing and her giggles had kept him in raptures over how cute she was and for a while his fears seemed to be sidelined. Before he knew it, it was late morning and he realised that he only had about an hour before he had to leave for the tattoo parlour.

Whilst making her some lunch he prepped his bag with made up formula, change of clothes, nappies and wipes. They both sat down to eat the hidden vegetable omelette he had made for them, which some of it did actually end up plastered against the wall but not in such dire circumstances as the day before, and as at breakfast he had once again walked away for the most part unscathed. He was getting good at this feeding the baby routine.

Once he was satisfied that they had dealt with the messiest part of the morning, he decided to get her changed into the outfit he had picked out for her and then he would pull the pen to the door of the bathroom so he could shower whilst keeping an eye on her. Sitting her on the sofa he looked over her with an air of satisfaction. She was wearing a beautiful sunshine yellow summer dress with a matching yellow and white soft headband. Both items made her bluebell eyes and midnight blue downy fluff stand out. After some debate he decided to forgo the little gold pumps as they didn't match and was lamenting the fact that he hadn't picked up the little black Mary Jane's he had seen that would have finished the look perfectly.

Admiring her as she sat on the couch he couldn't help once again thinking how dense he was that she had been right there all along all those years, right under his nose and he hadn't realised. Even as a baby she was the embodiment of Ladybug.

"Well doesn't she look cute," Plagg commented snarkily, floating over as he watched his chosen kneeling before BB who was sat up on the sofa and admiring his handiwork. "You know if I had known this would keep you quiet and busy all those times you were pining in your room over Ladybug I would have got you a load of barbie dolls. Then I would have had some peace and quiet to enjoy my cheese."

"I was just thinking how dense I was that I didn't see it earlier." He replied dreamily without acknowledging Plagg's sarcastic comments. "Now I see it how could Mari not be Ladybug?"

Plagg rolled his eyes and huffed at Adrien, "yeah yeah "Pigtails 'Just A Friend' Dupain-Cheng" is Ladybug. Old news to me kiddo."

"See look at her, even now I can see Ladybug in her. She has that same look she wears when she's formulating a plan in battle; Determination, strength, concentration." He praised her looking at the baby affectionately and once again ignoring Plagg's attempts at getting a rise out of him.

His kwami obviously hadn't slept enough. It definitely wasn't lack of cheese which is the only other reason he gets grumpy. His kwami should have been a big pink pig not a sleek black cat. Was there even a pig kwami? An unwelcomed image of himself floated forward to the forefront of his mind, dressed in his Chat Noir outfit but it being completely pink, with pink ears in his blond hair and a little squiggly tail sticking out from his belt. The thought suddenly made him feel nauseous. Not Chat Noir but ... Chochon Rose? Nope. Nope, take that thought back, definitely happy that Plagg is a cat. He can eat as much fucking cheese as he wants.

"I hate to break it to you kid but I don't think she's summoning a lucky charm," Plagg muttered lowly breaking his chosen's nauseating reverie, whilst watching the baby warily.

"Huh?" Adrien looked over to his kwami in confusion," what do you mean by- Whoa!"

He exclaimed loudly, is hand suddenly shot to his nose as the stench of poop assaulted the back of his throat and nose, making him gag a little. The squelching sound of liquid hitting something soft made his eyes widen as the smell intensified.

"Holy shit." He murmured under his breath, his hand clamped over his mouth and nose, quickly standing from his kneeling position in front of her and look down in horror at her.

"Literally kiddo." Plagg deadpanned, earning another glare from the blond for being unhelpful.

He was surprised and horrified at the same time as it suddenly dawned on him that he was going to have to deal with whatever was in that nappy. The little girl had now reverted back to looking at them placidly, gurgling in the back of her throat as she curled her little hands around her feet.

"You have to help me," he pleaded turning to the black cat in desperation. He couldn't possibly handle this all by himself.

"Kid." Plagg replied firmly, "There isn't enough cheese in France that you can pay me with to help you. You're on your own."

He watched as the black kwami floated away from the scene to the other side of the room and buried himself in his trashcan. Thanks a lot Plagg.

He watched her for a minute, unsure how the hell he was going to clean her up. He felt nauseated as he realised that the more she moved about and kicked up those chunky little legs the less the nappy was doing its job to contain the foul smelling poop. He stepped forward unsurely to... he wasn't sure what the fuck he was stepping forward to do but he had to deal with this.

Come on, he chided himself, you've dealt with worse situations than this. He was one of the hero's of Paris for Christ sakes! A small traitorous voice in his head answered the challenge, Really?! In what situation have you ever have had to deal with a literal poop-nami? Under normal situations he would have been so proud of himself for such a great pun in the heat of the moment and laughed his head off. But not right now. Right now he was trying his best to not freak out. He glanced up at the little ladybug flannel that hung drying over the the back of the high chair and knew instantly that the small piece of cloth was just not going to make it. He had to bathe her.

In the sink? The thought of trying to deal with that in his small bathroom sink where he brushed his teeth and washed his face grossed him out. Kitchen sink? No amount of bleach was going to make him trust washing his pans in there after the event.

Shower? He breathed in and out loudly in relief. Yes, he could shower her down and still maintain her dignity as well as not feel like had permanently veto'd any further use of the facility itself. Lifting her up and gagging a little he realised that the light brown poop had actually made its way not only out of the side of the nappy but also out of the confines at the back of the nappy, staining the bright yellow summer dress that he had just put on her. He looked down and realised that it was also all over one of his little throw couch cushions and immediately returned her to her sitting position on the spoiled cushion.

He realised with a pang of regret and maybe a little humour that she had actually pooped over his favourite cushion that Mari herself had made for him. His Chat Noir cushion. It was plain black, the material as soft as fur, with a set of brilliant green cats eyes that rivalled Chat's own eyes staring out from the black background.

She literally had a shit on my face. He thought ruefully.

Ok Agreste, he told himself shaking out the slightly disturbing thought, trying to figure what he was going to need to tackle the situation. Ok, I can do this, shrugging his shoulders to loosen them up and gave himself a little pep talk. He walked into the kitchen and grabbed a black refuse sack, a pack of baby wipes, the bleach and a clean towel off the maiden. Walking into the bathroom he opened the bag laying it ready on the floor and turned his shower on letting it run for a minute before setting the temperature to a luke warm setting for her. He eyed the bottles of baby soap currently lining the shower tray and placed them on the floor immediately on his right with the clean fluffy towel laid out and a new going out dress and nappy. Maybe going a bit crazy buying all those clothes had been fortuitous in the end. Who knew babies went through so many clothes?

He picked up the ruined couch cushion and and put her on his arm, resting the back of her thighs as far down his forearm as possible to limit his own skin exposure to nappy explosion. Once he was in the bathroom with a little reluctance he threw the couch cushion straight into the black bag and proceeded to strip everything off her and placing it in the bag, his eyes watering as the stench of the nappy hit his eyes. Once she was free of the soiled clothes she gurgled at him giggling as he gently introduced her to the spray of the shower bottom first to get rid of the residual poop.

Once satisfied it was all gone, from her body and in the shower tray, he proceeded to give her a proper shower washing her hair. He found that as soon as she had been cleaned he enjoyed watching her squint as the water ran gently down her hair and face. His heart melted a little as she accidentally tasted the water and started blowing raspberry's to get rid of the offending taste. Once he had her dried, powdered and dressed back in her playpen, he proudly tied up the black refuge bag with the unsalvagable items in it and with a hint of revenge put it in the same bin that Plagg was still hiding in. Plagg shot out of there glaring at his chosen who shrugged and laughed at his anger. Serves you right coward.

Within ten minutes he had managed to spray his whole shower down and scrub it clean before washing his hands and returning to her. Standing over the pen watching her a little apprehensively, he realised then what Nino had said about the things that he had witnessed with Alya and why his friend had shuddered over the phone when telling him. He huffed a breath, yeah Nino I bet you didn't have to deal with that all by yourself man.

He chewed on his lip for a moment his earlier thoughts coming back to the forefront of his mind. Mari would be mortified if she found out that he had had to clean her up like that and what he had witnessed. Yes, it had been rather daunting and honestly pretty disturbing, but it didn't in anyway change how he felt about her in regards to the respect he held for her or his love. However, he didn't think that she would see it that way.

He huffed, dry rubbing his face. He had to make sure that no matter what this particular incident never got back to Mari. Unfortunately, the one witness to the situation was probably the most unreliable to keep a secret especially if the situation made him laugh at someone else's expense. He had learnt that over the years of the kwami taking the piss out of him.

He called out to the black cat floating not far away, "Plagg, under no circumstances do we ever tell LB that this happened."

Plagg looked at Adrien with a look of contempt on his little face. "Kid, I've already willingly erased this from my mind before you even mentioned it."

Adrien nodded and scratched his fingers through his hair. It was nearly time and the nerves were building up in him in a crescendo at what he knew he had to face. He could do this. Of course he could it was just two little piercings, he wouldn't even look at the needles. If he had to he would just keep his eyes averted the whole time and just deal with whatever pain it entailed. He hoped the forums were correct, that it was more of a pinch than a lancing pain. Feeling his bravery ebbing a little he decided to push that thought to the back of his mind and concentrate on why he was doing it. He was doing it for Paris. He was doing it to get LB back. He was one half of Paris' hero duo. He could do this!

With a look of of sheer determination, and his chest slightly puffed out he took a deep breath, "Well there's nothing for it, it's time to take one for the team."

Plagg looked at him enquiringly his little arms crossed over his chest.

"I need to man up and get my ears pierced."

The blond visibly deflated, a blush that would rival Ladybug's suit bursting across his face as the Kwami threw his head back and started cackling.

Why did that sound so much more heroic in my head?

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Adrien nervously parked his Ford Focus in one of the lined bays and proceeded to get the pram out of the car. Lifting BB out of her car seat he got her in the pram and locked up the car. He had redressed her in a lovely blue trouser ensemble which he lamented a little that it wasn't quite as lovely as the one from the previous day or quite as sunshine bright as the one from that morning that had been ruined in the poop-nami situation but at least it matched the little gold pumps so that was a bonus. She looked wonderful in anything.

Luckily the parlour was only a street over from the parking lot so there was hardly any opportunity for the whole thing to go wrong and any fans to realise he was there. He only bumped into a pair of little old ladies who chuckled and pronounced that she was adorable as they passed the pram. He couldn't help grinning broadly with pride in response as he walked passed them, instantly frowning at his pocket when his kwami hissed at him that it wasn't really his baby and to stop fucking preening about like some proud daddy.

He walked into the empty front of the tattoo parlour and rang the bell at the tall reception desk. The place was immaculately clean and well presented. Even though he was nervous, to the point of sweating, he couldn't help feeling a little more at ease at the thought that it wasn't some rundown back alley parlour. The proprietors obviously took care of the place. The layout design was modest and simple. Two large black leather seating areas sat on either side of the walls, the floor was tiled and sparkling clean and the small round coffee tables at each end of the couches had a neat display of magazines laid out on them. The chest high reception desk in the corner had a computer, the small bell and a large vase of flowers on it with nothing else. He liked it. It was minimalist but clean.

He could see that the reason for this was to make sure that the eye was immediately drawn to the vast amount of art work displayed on the walls which he perused as he waited for attention. It was impressive that there were literally hundreds if not thousands of ranges of tattoos available. They varied in complexity from simple symbols, italic writing designs that he had seen on the Microsoft word programmes right through to the most intricate detailed pictures of celebrities. He blanched slightly as he saw his own face in amongst the group of celebrity faces that included Jagged Stone and Brad Pitt. Blinking rapidly at his tattooed image on the slim calf of a lady he couldn't help but shudder in wonder who in the hell the stranger was that was so enamoured with him that she had his face permanently marking her body. He knew it was a stranger because he had never met anyone with that tattoo of him.

"Well I'll be blown who would have thought my 'one o'clock Adrien' is none other than Mr Adrien Agreste himself?"

Adrien glanced over at the well built man standing less than five feet away from him who had entered from the glass door next to the reception desk, and suddenly became very nervous again. The man who must have been at least in his late forties, was visibly covered in multiple tattoos and a couple of piercings. He was wearing a black and white hawaiian shirt, with long shorts that stopped below his knees and expensive trainers. Every part that wasn't covered by clothes aside from his face was covered in tattoos even along the side of his head where his hair was shaved almost to the bottom of his crown where he had an impressive man bun tightly tied back.

"Um yeah, hi. That's me." he replied nervously, consciously wiping the palm of his sweaty hand on his jeans before shaking the mans proffered hand.

"Frank Smith but everyone calls me Smithy," he smiled at him warmly and Adrien spotted the flash of silver of the mans tongue piercing. Even though he spoke french, the man had a slight Scottish tang to his accent which made the name make sense. In a strange way, his slightly jovial demeanour reminded him of Tom Dupain and actually made him feel a little more at ease.

"So you're booked in for a double ear piercing." He carried on sensing the boys unease. He looked like a deer in headlights although he got the feeling that it wasn't because of the way he looked, more that the boy was out of his depth in this situation and seemed to be really jumpy.

"Er yeah," Adrien stammered slightly, wishing that he could just calm the hell down and talk to the man properly. "Um well i wanted to do something for me you know?"

"Okay," Smithy nodded slowly, "And why would you want a double ear piecing? Are you looking to do a stretched ear piece?"

Adrien's brow furrowed a little in confusion, "erm no I don't think so. Sorry i have no idea what that is."

Smithy turned his head towards him indicating his right ear, showing him his own stretched earlobe which had a fairly large hoop holding open a rather gaping hole in the centre.

"Oh goodness no," Adrien exclaimed a little more loudly than he had intended to, "I just want regular piercing. I'm doing it I guess in a ... erm, rebellious streak against my dad but in a way that i can remove them in the future if i need to to be inconspicuous." He explained a little feebly.

Smithy looked at him in contemplation, "Oh so its a rebellious thing against the great Mr Gabriel Agreste, gotcha." He glanced at the pram set and raised an eyebrow at the blond model," What the baby and secret mama thing wasn't enough?"

Adrien almost jumped at the mans question as he had almost forgotten that she was there, he glanced down at BB who was currently snoozing in the pram and ploughed on with the explanation that he had rehearsed earlier on if anyone was to ask him about her. "No, no she's not mine I'm babysitting for a friend who got caught up with a family emergency but I didn't want to waste the appointment with you either."

"Well that's very considerate of you thank you." Smithy smiled at him, but Adrien got the feeling that the guy didn't totally believe his story. His heart sank a little as it occurred to him that maybe he might end up being on social media after all even without visiting a beauty parlour. His thoughts were interrupted when a woman stepped through the large glass door near the reception desk, and stood for a couple of moments in shock as she realised who was actually standing in their parlour. She was dressed in a skater outfit with men's work boots, her bobbed red hair set in high pigtails. In a way she reminded him vividly of Alix and her style, although she looked to be in her mid thirties.

"This is my gorgeous wife Lucia," Smithy introduced her with clear affection, pulling the woman out of her initial shock of seeing him, she nodded and smiled broadly around the lollipop that she had in her mouth then proceeded to sit down at the reception desk. Adrien tried to smile in greeting and acknowledgement of the introduction but he knew it probably came out looking more like an uncomfortable grimace. He felt a new wave of worry hit him that although the woman was now looking at her phone in a bored way, that she may at that moment be posting something on social media about him being there with them and what they were talking about.

"Well," Smith pulled his attention back to him, " if you want to stick it to the man as it were I would highly recommend going for a Prince Albert and put it on your Instagram."

Adrien who was caught up in his own thoughts unfortunately missed the knowing look that passed between the married couple, and the amused grin that crossed the mans face before he continued genially, "Now that would really show your rebellious side. Its also easy to hide."

"A Prince Albert?" He asked in confusion, which only intensified when he could feel plagg laughing silently against his chest pocket which caused a slight vibration at his torso.

"Here, let me get you our piercing menu and we can go through it." Smithy invited grabbing the laminated menu that his wife was holding out, "see if there's anything you like." Before Adrien could protest a glossy laminated 4 page pamphlet was handed to him.

"Now this is a thing of beauty," Smithy assured him, grinning with what looked like a mischief that would rival Plagg on any day.

Looking down at the glossy picture his eyes blew so wide that you could practically only see the whites of his eyes, and his face firstly blanched white then exploded into red. There in front of him was a very large semi stiff penis with a hoop clearly pierced through the foreskin. Before he could divert his eyes they roamed immediately over to the right picture which was a woman's vagina with a small blue bar spearing through her clitoris. Adrien was still a virgin having stoically hoped that he would one day be with Ladybug but he knew the anatomy well enough from high school science classes to know what he was looking at.

"Why?!" he stuttered in response before thinking, cringing and gulping hard, "ww-why would any-anyone do this to themselves?!"

"Oh my friend there are many things that you could learn from these types of piercings." Smithy laughed at his reaction pointing to the first picture, "that's my piercing."

"And this is my lovely wife's piercing." Lucia smiled a shit eating grin at his discomfort, pulling the lollipop that she had been savaging for the last couple of minutes out her mouth in a suggestive movement with an audible pop.

"Oh I beg your pardon madam," he stammered nervously glancing down at the image again without meaning to and wished he hadn't, " I didn't mean to be rude or judgemental."

His father had taught him as a gentleman and wholesome teenage heartthrob that if you accidentally offend someone you should offer them a genuine compliment to try to placate them. With that firmly ingrained into his psyche his mouth seemed to plough ahead before his brain had managed to figure out what the hell to say, "You have a nice..."

His brain stalled as he realised what he had just unwittingly said. Nice what?! clitoris? vagina? Is that what you wanted to say?! Holy fucking shit I am actually going die from humiliation right here.

"I think we broke him ma cherie," he called out good naturedly, as both proprietors chuckled at the floundering teen who stood stock still in horror at his major faux pas. Adrien stood there literally like a red beacon, whilst Plagg was clearly enjoying himself as the only noise that was drowning out his cackling was the two adults laughing heartily at him in the parlour.

"Now let me recommend to you that if you want to rebel against someone like Gabriel Agreste and get away from that goody wholesome type image this is would definitely be an option." He continued as their laughter died down,

"And from personal experience let me tell you that these types of piercings heighten sex like you would never imagine. Believe me when she, or he not judging," he held up a hand in a complacent manner," is sucking you off and tugging on that little ring it blows your mind."

Adrien didn't actually think that he could physically sweat more, and simultaneously hot and cold sweat, than he was right now. But of course Smithy wasn't finished.

"And likewise you should hear the moans you get when you are sucking on that little nub with the feel of metal against your ton-"

Adrien snapped the pamphlet shut really quickly, feeling like he was drowning and having to salvage himself in some way by ending the conversation abruptly even if he was being rude. In a voice an octave higher than he thought possible in his voice range, he squeaked, "um thank you I'll think about it. Um maybe just the ear piercings for today though."

He nervously stood there sweating and a slight twitch in his right eye that it didn't matter how many times he furiously blinked didn't seem to go away. The older man finally took pity on him. "Okay, no problems sunshine. Ear piercing it is. Well just for today anyway."

Winking at the model he smiled, "Just let me know if you change your mind."

Adrien nodded numbly and followed the man over to the counter where his wife was shuffling some papers together.

"Please can you read and fill these in," she told him in a bored voice, handing him what looked like liability waivers forms neatly clipped to a board and a pen. "Fill the questionnaire in, leave the last page until Smithy has you in the chair so you can discuss and sign it together."

Adrien took them from her furrowing his brow and quickly scanning the pages. It was a three page long yes/no questionnaire including medical questions with a section on the last half of the page full of gaps in the writing, where the information was written in about what he was having done and signature lines at the bottom. It made sense he guessed, there was so much information that was needed to maintain a healthy recovery for piercings and tattoos that it would actually be foolish for an establishment not to have some kind of waiver forms for future legal action as at the end of the day they were relying on the client to heed any medical advice provided. He shuddered at the thought of any piercings going septic because of bad hygiene or poor maintenance, especially in an area such as the groin which he had so unwittingly been introduced to that day.

He looked up from the board inn his hand for a minute to speak to the couple before he ventured to fill the questionnaire in. He really needed to assuage one of his fears ahead of going forward with his plan although in this case he knew that he really didn't have a choice in the piercings being done today regardless of whether they would follow his request or not.

He cleared his throat to get their attention, "Excuse me. I have a big favour to ask you. You clearly know who I am, but the thing is that I could do with this not getting on social media ahead of me doing this."

He paused to gauge their reactions, neither looked surprised of what he was addressing them about so he ploughed on, "My dad has his assistant scan and alert him on all social media that involves me so if you post anything or tag me here my father's team will be on me and get me out of here before my appointment is even finished with you. I'm just asking if you could keep this anonymous for now. Or at least until I have done with my dad."

He waited with bated breath before Smithy gave him a crooked half smile in understanding. "Don't worry son. All this," he gestured to the walls," is only displayed because we ask the clients permission and get them to sign waiver forms. Everything is anonymous here unless you let us advertise it. You're secret is safe with us."

Adrien let out the breath he had been holding in relief and nodded in thanks." I appreciate that. And if I do decide to post it on social media I will mention that I got it done by you guys. Is that okay?"

"That's generous of you," Smithy reciprocated heartily, "That would be great for our business. But at the end of the day we're more bothered about the happiness of our clients and the service we provide. We always hope they'll come back for more."

Adrien blanched at the wink that he ended his sentence with and knew that Smithy was hoping that he had convinced him to consider the earlier piercings that they had discussed. "Well," he squeaked holding up the board and moving to the seating area, "I guess I better get on with this."

After ten minutes he handed the complete medical questionnaire to Lucia and followed the man through the glass door that he beckoned him through, struggling a little with pram. He walked into a large back work area that sported what looked like two huge black reclining lounge chairs that he had only ever seen in a place like the dentist's office in the middle of the room. The wooden work bench that ran the lengths of all four walls were lined with everything that the professional needed, including tattooing guns and equipment, lines of bottles of every colour imaginable and boxes of latex gloves. There were also neat stacks of different size trays that were covered in sterilised packaging on one side of the bench and a row of different coloured binders that held stencils and designs on the other. Again it was immaculate and although Adrien appreciated the assurance of it, it did little to ease his nerves as the metal in the room seem to gleam in the almost surgical lighting above.

Smithy waved him over to sit in one of the chairs, pulling out a pair of black rimmed glasses from the pocket of his hawaiian shirt and perused quickly through the questionnaire that he had filled in.

"Um I have a confession to make." Adrien stammered nervously, wiping his sweating palms on the rough denim material of his jeans, "I am really afraid of needles."

The man looked up from the clip board and surveyed Adrien over his glasses, frowning in contemplation, "Then why are you having a piercing done?"

"To try to combat my fear?" Adrien replied although it sounded more like a question than a direct answer. The older man nodded in understanding, and pulling up a stool sat next to Adrien who was currently perched on the edge of one of the large reclining chairs.

"Alright son don't worry." He smiled softly at him in reassurance, "I promise old Smithy will take good care of you, you'll barely feel a pinch. It might sting a little but by all means if its the needle your afraid of you can screw your eyes shut tight whilst i do it so you don't see it."

Adrien's throat had already turned to sandpaper at that moment so taking pity on him Smithy started going through the medical questions and what it was they were doing that day filling the blank spaces around the bottom section of the waiver forms. Adrien signed and dated it after agreeing to what he had written and watched as the tattooist got up to his work station to get the tray that he needed to do the piercing. Pulling on a pair of latex gloves the man unwrapped the tray carefully keeping everything in tact, with his back to Adrien who had scooted nervously back into the chair.

Turning back around with a pair of surgical forceps in one hand and a large needle delicately pinched between his fingers in the other Adrien finally felt the panic overwhelm him that he had managed to keep at bay all morning and promptly fainted against the large back rest of the chair.

The sound of latex gloves snapping as they were removed slowly brought Adrien around and he blinked rapidly against the extremely bright light positioned only two feet above his head.

"You alright?" Smithy's voice floated in from his left side. He turned his head blearily and nodded feeling the wave of heat hit his cheeks in embarrassment as he thought about what had just happened. He had fainted! The great Chat Noir had fainted at the sight of a needle and in fairness quite scary looking forceps. He groaned out loud. Plagg was going to have a field day at his expense. And there was no doubt that the traitorous black cat was going to inform LB at some point.

As he thought of Ladybug, his head snapped over to the pram parked over to furthest bench and huffed in relief at the still sleeping baby. Passing him a glass of water, and helping him sit up Adrien gingerly took a sip and thanked Smithy. He ran his hand shakily through his hair and jumped in surprise at the small jolt of pain that ran through his ear when his hand accidentally brushed up against it. His hand flew up to his ear, then his right ear confirming that they were indeed now freshly pierced. Now his brain had caught up with that vital piece of information it was like it lit a fuse in the nerves and he could feel the slight throbbing pulse against the foreign metal in his ears.

Smithy smiled ruefully at him, "I would not normally carry on with the piercing if a client is unconscious for obvious reasons but I thought it would be cruel of me to wake you when the perfect opportunity arose to let you avoid the obvious fear you have of needles."

Adrien nodded, feeling a rush of gratitude towards the man for sparing him even though he was embarrassed at having fainted. Blushing crimson, he stammered his thanks and was just grateful that part of the job was now finally done and he only had to face taking them out to replace them with the Ladybug miraculous. Feeling a little bit more centred he listened as the piercing specialist laid out the cleaning and maintenance protocol for his new piercings, only grimacing slightly when the older man insisted that he heed the fact that the earrings couldn't be removed for the first six weeks unless he wanted to risk infection and the holes closing.

Once he had said his goodbyes and wheeled BB out of the parlour, Plagg immediately spoke up. He wondered when it was going to start. Obviously his kwami couldn't wait until they got back to the apartment.

"Well you definitely took one for the team there my brave kitten, way to man up." Plagg taunted from his pocket as he walked back to the car.

"Shut up Plagg," he scowled ignoring him in favour of looking up and down the quiet road. Reaching his car, he pressed the key fob absentmindedly and lifted BB out of her pram.

His ear lobes still smarting with the slightly unpleasant throb, he strapped her into the car seat in the back of his Ford Focus and made sure that the dangly toy things he had brought with him were positioned right above her on the cross bar of the car seat so she could still easily reach them and swat at them. His ears pricked suddenly at the tell tale sound of soft splattering sound that erupted from her nappy. Only moments later, the overwhelming smell of poop assaulted his senses once more like they had this morning. He looked at her in shock, there was no way she could possibly in the space of a couple of hours produce again what he had had to deal with earlier that day.

His head drooped forward to his chest, once again feeling the vibration of Plagg laughing at his expense and muttered in defeat, "you have got to be fucking kidding me."

LBCN LBCN LBCN

Adrien stood in the lift tiredly, rubbing gently at his ears and wincing at the resulting throb of pain that shot through him. It wasn't even lunchtime yet and he was already knackered. He still had the unpleasant task of removing the earrings and putting ladybugs in. That was going to hurt. He just prayed her miraculous cure would erase any evidence of the piercing. He knew it wouldn't erase his memory of today.

"Sooo ... will you be returning for further piercings?" Plagg asked in a typical taunting manner, finally emerging from his pocket now they were in the safety of the quiet lift up to his apartment.

Adrien shuddered involuntarily at the thought, "God no. I can't believe that Prince Albert piercing. You knew what it was as soon as they mentioned it."

Plagg nodded with a Cheshire like grin on his face crossing his little arms across his chest, "I've seen a shit ton of things in my 5 thousand years. Be glad you got me then kiddo cause if you had got Dusty the dog kwami you would have had to have the Prince Albert to wear that one."

"You are kidding?! The dog kwami miraculous is a Prince Albert ring?!" Adrien exclaimed in disbelief, baulking at the thought that anyone would create such a miraculous in the first place.

"Well the kwami is a chihuahua. Ironic don't you think that his transformation call is 'Dusty mount up'?" Plagg replied evenly, his little evil smirk trying not to surface. "And you heard what the guy said about what the piercing heightens. Why do you think those little rodent dogs are always dry humping peoples legs?"

Adrien gaped open mouthed at the black cat for almost a full minute, before realising that the little bastard was actually trying his best not to burst out laughing at his chosen's gullibility.

"You are kidding you fucking arsehole." Adrien huffed indignantly, which caused the black cat to fall back in mid air laughing his head off in his wheezy little voice. He was really getting tired of people taking the piss out of him today and because he was so exhausted he was obviously that much more susceptible to it than usual.

"Sorry kid it was just too easy." Plagg apologised although he sounded far from contrite as he wiped away a tear from his luminous green eyes, "those people really are my kinda people. They got you pretty good in there. It was brilliant to watch."

"Well I'm so glad that you had such an entertaining hour!" Adrien growled at the kwami glaring at him irritably.

So far he had had a pretty bad day. He had had to deal with two shitty nappies, the second one hadn't even been in the comfort of his own apartment with shower facilities, he had had to deal with it on the back seat of his car. Thank god it hadn't been as bad as the one earlier in the morning and was contained to the nappy itself.

Half a pack of wet wipes later and he had rowed all the windows down on the way home but he was sure that his car was now permanently tainted with the faint whiff of shit which it was bad enough that he had to deal with Plagg's cheese already to add to it. Aside from that his ears hurt, he still had to face taking the tiny little earrings out and replacing them with LB's earrings. Which there was the added worry that it might not even work or reverse the damage to his ears which his father was going to kill him if it doesn't. At least he reasoned with himself grumpily that it could be photo shopped out and he would just let them close up of their own volition.

The worst part was that he had been permanently scarred with the images of another man's pierced dick which he had absolutely no doubts in his mind would be resurfacing in the near future as some kind of treacherous part of a nightmare. And it seems that everyone was in the mood to take the piss out of him today.

As he unlocked his apartment door, he was muttering to himself wondering whether his day was possibly going to get worse and his luck with being stuck with Plagg to make sure that his woes were made into fodder for his taunting spree. Removing BB from the pram he lined it up against the wall and closed the door behind him.

"Adrien Felix Agreste." A stern voice came from over by the window of his balcony. "You have got a lot of explaining to do."

Adrien turned to the sound of the voice he knew very well, and held BB a little tighter to his chest as he faced the tall imposing figure of the man who he had hoped of all people in the world he could avoid this weekend.

Of course he would fucking visit on the one weekend I prayed that he didn't.

And there's my answer to whether my day could possibly get any worse.

"Hello Father." He answered glumly in resignation to the severe bollocking he was about to receive.

LBCN LBCN LBCN

Poop-nami = tsunami of poop

Literally an explosion of poop that even the hardiest of nappies can't contain. Poop will sometimes even travel as far upwards as the neck and definitely out of the sides of the nappy (Although in fairness from what I understand it happens predominantly to formula fed/combination fed babies?)

Anyone who has been around newborns would have most likely have experienced this phenomena and amazingly the first time I found out about it was when my 2 month old son surprised me and his father! Why do parents not warn each other about this?! It's like a hidden secret, (a rite of passage maybe?), for new parents!

Sorry Adrien I had to do it even to you sunshine boy... So he's already had an eventful day and it's only lunchtime! Now his dad's impromptu visit. Oh Dear...