A/N: Is it too much to ask for reviews? They seriously help me get through shitty days like this. If someone could be a dear and review A Most Unlikely Exam too, that'd be nice...its so close to one hundred and...well...I just need to hear some good news today. Why, you ask? Well:

Because someone cussed at me out of the blue, got out of his car, and all but tried to get into MY car. Through an open window. WHILE I WAS IN SAID CAR! DRIVING IT! Granted, I was driving slowly, but still! I closed the window in the bastard's face, and he took off! Do you have any idea how freaked out I am right now?! And then I come home to a sea of anonymous bullshit and angry PM's harassing me for writing. ARE YOU SODDING KIDDING ME?!

Minor rant incoming, because I'm a touch upset here...alright, really upset.

If you don't believe me, that's fine. I don't care. I'm literally shaking as I'm writing this, so there!

SO~!

Wasting my talent, am I?

Lost my damn mind have I?

Only capable of updating Fate stories, am I?!

One trick pony with a hard on for Naruto, am I?!

No, no, by all means! Lets keep reading down the list of insults and see just how angry I can get! Apparently I'm also irrelevant, retarded, not interesting and an utter failure as a person. And lets not forget that one chap who enjoys spamming my stories with senseless hate telling me to kill myself.

Really?

...Really?

...REALLY NOW?!

Sorry for all this but I'm absurdly pissed off at the moment now. Someone even suggested all my stories are "most unlikely" to be continued. How many times do I have to say that the "Most Unlikely" series is one big story told from different perspectives? And still I get flak for trying to write, for trying to make people happy. God forbid I actually update my other stuff!

Fine. Whatever. I see how it is.

But I'm going to continue. I WILL continue!

I won't let this break me, even if it does piss me off!

So, off we go! REVIEW FOR IT FEEDS MY ENGINE OF CREATION~!

One more to go! Only one more! Then I can finally update everything and release the chapters I have planned.

THERE SHALL BE ONLY ONE MASTER!NARUTO ON THE MOON! SO SAYETH I! Moon Cancer is next, then I can finally open the floodgates and unleash the updates. There, now we have a grand total of five Master!Naruto in all. Almost done...gotta...keep going...

As ever, this will be gone in two days if people don't like it.

I do hope you like it T_T

"I will mow down your enemies, Master."

...I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

~?

A Most Unlikely Hero (Moon)

Who made the moon?

Was it a god?

Was it man?

Neither?

Both?

Stories go on and on about it; what it is, where it came from, how it waxes or wanes every night. I could spend hours telling you myths and stories about it. No one in this world truly understands what makes the moon, or rather, the Moon Cell, what it is. But this story isn't entirely about the Moon-or how it came to be. Rather, its a tale of how I wound up here.

Might wanna strap yourselves in. Its quite the story.

When you watch the earth burn around your feet, you can't allow yourself to feel fear. You have to move forward. Hope for a better tomorrow, you know? Take me for instance. I never wanted to BE here in the first place; I certainly didn't intend to be flung through space-and-time by a mad goddess. Hey! Don't give me that look! I just wanted to help people, not strand myself half a universe away! But I've lived long enough to find hope in the little things, joy in the day-to-day. Its all about mentality. We can do this. We can survive. We can strive. We can thrive. We can make it better.

Together.

That's what it means to be a hero. I've never really considered myself one. I just...did what was right, you know? Not just for me, but for others. Heroes fight. Heroes win.

Even if it means going to the moon.

This isn't a game; make no mistake, this is war. Not quite on the scale of the Fourth Shinobi one, but close. And war...war never changes. No matter the time, nor the era, nor the dimension. People fight. Some live. Some die. I don't like that-in fact, I hate it. If there were any other way to do this I would've found it by now. You win, or you lose. Rise or fall. If I win, I can find a way home. Possibly. Maybe? If I die...well. Least I can say that I tried, you know? I don't want to hurt others. I'm not keen on killing people, but-no! I won't! I refuse! I'll find a way around! I swear! I won't soak my hands in innocent blood just to go home! If there isn't a way then I'll make one, damnit! Let them try to stop me!

My wish?

Fix this mess.

Turn back the clock.

Just send me back home. Please.

I miss my friends. Its been so long. Please.

Send me home. You...you can do that right? Please?

(...0o0o0...)

Data.

It flowed around him in a bubbling stream of information, an endless river of numbers and letters threading their way through the world. Invisible to the naked eye, but still present if you knew where to search. One had but to look "underneath" to see it, as it were. Ninja were terribly good at that, and he'd had more time to see things than most. His quarters were likewise simple in that regard, little more than re-purposed classroom he had taken over for his purposes. A cot, a lamp, and a

He'd seen the competition-the score of fellow Masters who had made it through the hazing enacted by the Moon Cell, and while some concerned him, he was certain he'd be able to get by.

Because he had skipped that hazing entirely.

As he didn't possess traditional circuits for a mage; the jinchuuriki had to brute force his way into the system itself. As such, the summoning he was about to conduct would prove an exception of sorts. There was no effigy to use here; he'd be drawing directly from the databanks of the Moon Cell itself. It had taken quite a bit of talking-thank god for his silver tongue and the good 'ol Talk No Jutsu!-on his part to convince the Moon that he was no threat, let alone to be acknowledged as an acceptable Master candidate, but from there things had gone awry.

Rather than reject him, the blasted system went and named him an administrator, thereby putting him in charge of this whole shebang.

Something about being a Hero? He didn't much understand the jargon it'd threw at him.

Instead of a simple trio of Command Spells, he found himself staring at flowing crimson tattoo that wrapped around both biceps like a corded vine. Should one follow those circling twisting lines overlong, they would soon find they ended in a strange sword-and-shield combination atop each hand. Nine Command Spells altogether. He wasn't sure if the Grail was playing a joke on him or not.

Naruto considered them, and the summoning circle before him, with a rueful smile.

He was still going to win of course, this just...complicated matters.

Getting inked had been decidedly low on his list of priorities.

For the sake of nostalgia he'd donned an outfit reminiscent of his old orange-and-black jumpsuit of yore. Minus the orange. Though it pained him to discard his favorite color he understood the necessity of looking the part in the battles to come. So he'd dressed down, made himself look like a harmless civilian rather than a deadly weapon of mass destruction. In place of what some might call a ghastly flaming color, he'd donned a simple blue sleeveless shirt over which he'd thrown a loose red jacket followed by a pair of mismatching black khaki pants and boots. Simple, really. Nothing extraordinary.

If someone saw through his guise, well, more power to them, then.

Still, it made for an interesting experience if nothing else.

A small smile plucked at the corner of his mouth.

"Here goes nothing~!"

Before he could second-guess himself, he opened his palm and bled onto circle.

Light flared, high and wild and very violet.

That was a good thing, right?

Hopefully?

He wanted a companion who understood him; not just his thoughts and motives, but his love for the world as a whole. Though this wasn't his universe, though he'd been ripped out of his own and cast into another entirely without his own volition, he still cared for it. That was simply who he was. He helped people.

It didn't matter if they were weak. He wasn't looking for strength here. If worst came to worst he'd happily take the fight to the enemy himself. Surely that much was allowed in the Moon Cell. Even after all these years-and a fair bit of rust-he had full confidence in his skills, most of which had transferred over to this digital world quite handsomely.

So when the light swelled Naruto planted both hands in his pockets and waited patiently for the new arrival to make themselves manifest.

He was in no rush, but a small part of him confessed a certain sort of excitement here. He was looking forward to this. He WANTED this to happen. To meet whomever-whatever!-was on the other side. He knew so very, very, very little about Servants and as such found himself quite curious to meet one. Were they strong, he wondered? How strong? That small, childish part of him that he'd never quite quashed began to bubble happily as the light cleared, living him blinking and squinting into the smoke.

To his mild dismay, he found himself facing a tall, dark-haired woman with a noticeably curvy figure and...very large breasts.

No, seriously, how did she even move with those melons?!

Her outfit was so utterly eccentric that he couldn't even begin to describe it beyond some kind of latex bodysuit bearing bits of armor-elbow and knee length gauntlets and greaves-alongside odd cloth and cords wrapped and tied about her body in the strangest places. A lone katana hung at her side, its sheathe held tight to her body by another strange cord of sorts. Somehow he had the feeling it wasn't for show. Neither was the quiver holding a set of arrows joined by her right hip, nor the tall bow bound at her back.

A beat of silence passed between the two of them, broken only by the faint sound of footsteps outside.

"Good day, dear Magus-san." At last, the woman bowed deep and low at the waist, forcing him to fight down a twitch. "I am Saber...oh?" those gentle eyes blinked, growing wide with confusion as she seemed to realized something. An anxious gaze was cast about herself as she twisted and turned in place. "What? I am not a Saber...oh, my." as he looked on she fidgeted restlessly before returning her gaze to him. "Umm...I am Minamoto no Raikou. While I am currently much too flawed to act as a commander, as a Berserker, I hope you will still treat me well."

Naruto clicked his tongue, fighting down the initial surge of confusion.

"So," he managed awkwardly, scratching the back of his head, "You're a Berserker? That's a good thing, right?"

"Indeed~!" Raikou hummed happily, the air of unease evaporating as he began to drill her with questions. "I assure you, I'm quite capable in combat." another bow followed the last-andohgodtheybounced-as she forcibly straightened again. "I will protect you with my life. You may leave your battles to me."

Despite himself, the blond squirmed. Just a little.

Something about the way she'd said that just now caused Naruto to bridle. As if he needed protecting! Of course, she couldn't possibly know that, but his pride was rankled all the same. He didn't want to be protected; if only in part because he was so accustomed to fighting on the front lines himself. In the same vein, his curiosity was also aroused. This was his Servant, certainly. His ally in the battles to come. But how strong was Raikou truly. And thus, that small, boyish part of him-the prankster that he always was and would be-concocted a plan on the spot.

"Well, I'm rather new to this Grail War business myself. Perhaps you could help me?"

Her smile was pure as sunshine.

"Happily, my Master~!"

"You know what?" a slow, impish smile bloomed on those whiskered cheeks. "How about a little test?"

Berserker blinked.

"A test?"

"Just a little spar. Nothing to worry about," Naruto bounded lightly on the balls of his feet as he watched his Servant shift restlessly, her fingers idly curling about the hilt of her weapon, "I've got some rust to work off and wanna see what you're capable of. Might as well kill two birds with one stone, you know?"

Raikou turned hesitant, her lips pursing slightly. "I do not wish to hurt you...

He was more than ready for her concerns and swatted them aside.

"Half speed then?" he shot back.

A small, benevolent smile bloomed. "Ara, are you trying to test me or yourself, Master?"

"Bit of both, I suppose." came the concession as he settled into a loose stance reminiscent of a kabuki pose. "We gonna do this or not?"

Marvelous as the Moon Cell might be, it never thought to prevent a Servant from fighting their own Master. Or vice versa. Least of all when said blows lacked lethal intent. It was a flaw in the system perhaps, but one he could easily bend to his advantage. Such things fell well under the purview of training and the Grail allowed these things quite happily. That didn't mean accidents couldn't happen. Naruto was still watching Raikou like a shifty hawk when her expression shifted and the atmosphere changed, her eyes alighting with a strange, wild glee.

"As you will!"

In place of this docile woman, a graceful predator drew her sword and pounced.

Instinct compelled him to retreat, but distance meant next to nothing in cramped quarters against such a blade. He had no doubt that she'd pull back at the last moment-but that wouldn't be any fun either. So, rather than fall back, Naruto simply channeled a portion of Kurama's chakra into his right arm. Then, using his now golden arm, he reached around and slapped her sword into the floor. Raikou's look of surprise was almost comical by comparison, even if she hadn't come at him with intent to kill.

Before she could react bounded back and flicked a kunai at her.

It reactivated Berserker; because she cut it in half and lunged at him. Unfazed by this sudden storm of blows, Naruto simply channeled more chakra to his limbs and stepped in to intercept her. First with an armored boot, then a shin, an elbow and finally a finger. By the twelfth blow he could no longer conceal his smile. She wasn't striking in earnest, and perhaps that made her a bit easy to read...but he couldn't help himself. He wanted to tease her, just a little.

"C'mon now, I know I said half speed but are you even trying here?"

Her smile deepened. "My apologies, Master. Please duck."

Blue eyes bulged. 'Uh-oh.'

Raikou blurred.

There could be no other word for it; one moment he was holding her back with ease, the next her katana flashed across his face in a blur of steel. This time he felt the bite of the blade despite his chakra shroud, measured just enough to batter his arm down without drawing blood. His shoulder promptly went numb. Rusty indeed! In his prime he would've been faster than that; would've been able to take a hit like that. As if sending that very weakness a knee crashed into his stomach and he doubled over before his legs scythed out in return, sending Berserker tumbling with a startled yelp.

By the time Naruto spun away Raikou had already bounded back to her feet. There was a wariness in her eyes now, but also something...more. Something he couldn't quite read.

She was smiling.

"My, my!" a soft, bell-like laugh leaped from her lips. "I wasn't aware I had such a capable Master! Shall we call it here?"

"No, I don't think so!" he growled, beckoning with four fingers of his right hand. "Come on!"

Perhaps that might've been the wrong answer, but he didn't care.

Her wan smile bloomed into something else.

Then she was on him.

Berserker closed the distance in a heartbeat; just as he planned. Once more he stepped into her stance; only this time he swayed beneath the blade and delivered a light flick to her forehead. Raikou jolted in surprise and he used that second of shock to slide past her, cutting out at her legs as he skidded by. This time she bounded over his trick, only to fall prey to a second suck flick, this one against her back. She spun and cut out at him, even trimmed a few golden hairs for her trouble, but by then he'd already danced out of her range again.

"Right, you're dead." Naruto declared glibly, holding up a hand. "That's one point for you, two for me."

"I...beg your pardon?" Raikou blinked, somewhat taken back by his sudden statement.

"If this had been a real fight, I would've won." he retorted. "Satisfied, yet?"

Apparently not for he soon found an arrow lodged into the wall less than an inch from his face. Naruto felt the color drain from his face at the near miss. Raikou's smile proved deceptively innocent when he glowered at her for the shot. She wasn't even holding her bow anymore, having somehow returned it to her back sometime in the nanosecond between glances. Fine.

"Are you?" she sniped back at him. "Also. Dead."

Well! She certainly caught on quickly.

Speaking of which!

"Hey!"

Two could play that game. Faster than he she could react, he skimmed past and delivered a light tap to her waist with a similar declaration. Credit where it was due, Raikou reacted just as quickly to his taunt; for the flat of her blade swatted dangerously close to his important bits a heartbeat later before he could react. Bruised his ego, too.

"Dead."

A muscle jumped in his jaw.

Quick as a flash he darted behind her.

Two fingers poked between her shoulders.

"Dead!"

As one they exploded into motion, striking at impossible angles, blurring and blocking with speed that would've made even the most agile Servant balk. Naruto bobbed and weaved, all the while never moving his feet; the moment he saw a break he dove past her and risked a parting slap on her thigh, followed by a bop on the nose and a tug on her long hair for good measure and tugging her hair for good measure.

"Dead, dead, dead!" he sang, laughing.

And she flew at him with her sword raised high.

In response he flowed back allowing her to chase him in the confined space as she willed. He wasn't a boy anymore and fought back just as hard, a wild grin stealing over his face to stretch across whiskered cheeks as she pushed him hard, harder, hardest. Who could say how long they fought for? Minutes? Hours? It could've been any length of time, but he found his muscles buzzing pleasantly by the end. That end, when it came was as swift as it was surprising, if only because it was so unorthodox. He was laughing. She was laughing too, he realized. He was enjoying this as much as her.

Abruptly, Raikou bowled him over.

Naruto was caught wholly off guard by this.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" he cried out! "What the hell?! No fair! Foul! I call foul!"

That same motherly, cherubic smile flashed out at him, blinding in its brilliance. Then she tackled him headlong again in spite of his protests, literally leaping at him. To his dismay, he wasn't able to wriggle free. Well! This was unusual. Downright mysterious, even. Her arms tightened further still around his waist as she showered him with affection; rubbing her face against his cheek as her long midnight hair tickled his nose. Something warm and soft crushed into his chest, hitching with her very breath, bringing with it a sharp and sudden pang of desire. Her breasts, he realized belatedly.

"Well, well." Raikou purred. "I believe I win."

...you're not going to let me up, are you?" Naruto croaked.

A small, demure smile plucked at the corner of the blackette's mouth.

"That depends," she chirruped happily, settling against him. "Do you concede, Master?"

This close, Raikou's gentle breath warmed his face, even as her lips teased the outer lobe of his right ear.

Looking back, it couldn't be said to be any ill omen on their part; nor was it a sense of danger, but rather...anxiety. He'd fallen in with a troublesome woman. Nor would she be the only one he would encounter, for there would be more. Little did he know that this was only the beginning of a mad war, one that would shake not only the moon, but the universe itself.

Two more would follow her, each madder than the last.

Yes, how very little Naruto Uzumaki knew.

...I've got a bad feeling about this.'

How little indeed.

A/N: As ever, this will be gone in two days if people don't like it.

I do hope you like it T_T

Ho boy.

Mama Raikou has arrived!

Naruto is still Naruto at heart; he just wants to go back home.

Unfortunately, our boy seems to have a thing for Berserkers-or rather, they have thing for him!-in this story. That

I had to think long and hard about Naruto's given Servant. After all, there are LOT of Masters on the Moon-several hundred before the first selection of memory serves-and the potential, ohohohoho a fine piece of potential indeed! But then I realized I hadn't given a certain Servant her debut

Care to guess who their first opponent is? This is going to be far, far, FAR different from A Most Unlikely Rider!

Now back to the 'ol double shift, once again, with only an hour in between.

Looking forward to reading your reviews when I get back.

So In the Immortal Words of Atlas...

...Review, Would You Kindly?

And enjoy the previews!

Potential ones, at that.

Which do you like?

HERE'S THEIR FIRST OPPONENT!

(Previews!)

"Its pointless." he shook his head, blocking Berserker's blow. "You should just give up. As I am now, you won't be able to touch me-

Gawain grunted as a golden fist rocketed into his face despite his enhanced strength.

He felt a tooth crack as he stumbled away, but the words hung with him.

"Don't you DARE discount hard work, you flaming idiot!"

In the next moment he found himself swarmed.

"I'll heal you even if I have to kill you."

Naruto squawked.

"LADY WHAT THE HELL?!"

Then her eyes lit in a white-hot flare of recognition. "Wait!" she cried. "You, there! Halt!"

"What is it with me and Berserkers, for crying out loud?! OI!"

"You're not afraid?"

"No."

"Whaddya mean, no?!"

"As in nope. Negatory. Nyet. I ain't fighting you."

R&R~! =D