"Teddy…

This is a story from before you were born…

It's the story of how Mommy and Daddy met.

You see, it all began eleven years ago. Mommy and Daddy first spoke to each other in our senior year of high school. We were both seventeen…."

I arrived at the gravesite with a bouquet of roses. Red- her favorite. I wasn't aware how long I'd been standing there or when exactly it began to rain. All I could see, could feel was their names on the gravestone. Anastasia and Theodore Grey…. Our only child, and dearly beloved wife, who died in childbirth.

I didn't even move an inch when my sister, Mia, arrived; she carried a bouquet as well. She paused at the sight of me in front of the grave before approaching herself. The flowers she was carrying gently laid on top of the slab. Neither of us looked at each other when she finally broke the silence.

"Has Mom called you yet?" "Don't know. Haven't checked my phone." "She's hosting a remembrance dinner this evening. You know she wanted to check in with you. Instead of constantly inventing excuses for why you never answer your phone or are always late, why don't you just come here earlier?" A belief moment of silence. "I did; I've been here since dawn," I said, and she looked at me.

Once Mia had paid respects to Anastasia, she left me there without another word. After some more time, I got down onto my knees in the damp grass. Placing both my hands on the slab, my lips leaned in to kiss it. Then, with both my hands still firmly pressed up against the marble, I laid down on top of it; my dark coat spreading out all around me. The rain was soaking my cotton shirt now, but I didn't care. I longed to be close… close to her.

Anastasia- my Anastasia Grey. Here you are, so close yet so far from me. You've been here for five years and it's never gotten easier; not one day. You were the one thing- the only thing- keeping me sane, keeping me viable. And now I'm constantly plagued, always wondering if there really is any chuck of "humanity" left inside of me? Or did you take it all with you? I wouldn't be surprised if you did; you were my "humanity". All of it.

I was numb….. too numb to even cry. I can't recall the last time I cried; I used to cry so much that I think I used up all my tears. Now my mind and body felt like an empty husk, only powered now by the love of her, for her. I bristled at the memory… People told me to move on, that it would get better with time… time would make everything better. But they lied- dear god, they lied to me.

Time was supposed to heal me, to bring color back into my dull, dull world. Time was the magical cure to it all- my profound and boundless suffering. Time… Time was on my side, they told me. My eyes lowered as I stared aimlessly out in front of me. But what they don't know… what no one knows… is that time has stood still, since we've been apart. There was no more "time" for me. No matter how hard I try…

"I can't stop loving you, Anastasia… wife."