Chapter One

One year. That's how long it has been since my world came crashing down. One year since I saw his face, heard him laugh, felt his touch and even though it has been a year, I still wake up every morning and have to remind myself how to breathe again. My wedding day was supposed to be the happiest day of my life. A new beginning for Logan and me. I had my moment of clarity and realized that it didn't matter how all of the other marriages that I'm surrounded by had failed because as long as I had Logan then I knew we would be ok, but then it was all taken away from me by the stupid act of a selfish person. Which let's be honest here, my life has been plagued with devastation brought on by stupid acts from selfish people.

Nothing can compare though to the utter despair that I felt the second the bomb went off and took him away from me. I know what you are thinking...I'm Veronica Mars and nothing can break me, but oh how wrong you are.

That bomb shattered me into so many pieces that I'll never be able to even find them all to put my life back together. Because now when I look back, I realize how much Logan was the glue that kept me together. Without him I don't know how to even begin to pick up the pieces and honestly without him, it all feels pointless anyways.

Everywhere I look, all I see are memories of him and I and the life that we had built together. This life that was taken away far too soon and everywhere I look all I do is feel regret. Regret for the arguments that I wish I could take back and the times when I should have just stayed instead of walking out and running from him. I spent so much time running from him and now I would give anything to have one more chance to run to him and never let go.

So every morning I wake up and I go through the motions of everyday life and every morning I don't know how I am going to make it through without him, but somehow I do.

One year, how has it been one year. So much has changed in that year. Neptune isn't the same place it was a year ago when he was taken from me. It's all being upgraded and renovated to be able to accommodate the extravagantly wealthy. I did get to keep our apartment though. At first, they tried to say that I would need to leave because they were not going to allow for the rent-controlled apartment that made it possible for me to be able to afford it. However, as a "thank you" for once again saving the town and a "we are so sorry for your loss", I was allowed to stay.

So that is how Pony and I are sitting on the beach in front of our little apartment. While watching the waves, I try to close my eyes and picture that it has all just been a horrible nightmare and I am going to wake up, open my eyes, and his tanned and toned body is going to be walking out of the surf towards me. If only that was true.

As I sit here and remember what was and curse what could have been, I realize I can't stay here anymore. I have to get out, and try and escape all of the memories of him and I. I make my decision and know that it has to be today. I can't wait one more day now that my mind has been made up.

I decide that I'm going to take one more walk down the beach with Pony before I leave. One more time to feel the sun on my face and hear the waves crashing and feel that connection to Logan that seems to be slipping away more and more each day.

We start our walk and Pony starts to whine and pull away from me to go back, but I urge her on. We walk for what seems like forever and then I stop, take a deep breath, savor this last moment, whisper a tear choked "Happy Anniversary" and then I turn around to leave.

As we are walking back Pony again starts to whine and is pulling me along the beach faster than I have ever felt her tug before. I try to control her, but as Logan used to love to say, I'm just a tiny blonde one, so Pony definitely is winning this game of tug of war.

I'm so focused on making sure I don't fall flat on my face and end up eating sand, that I'm not even paying attention to what she is so intent on dragging me to. Finally, I give up and just let her go to investigate whatever she is determined to get to. I know she will come back once she is done and I'm too tired to keep fighting her on it.

I'm still walking with my head down wondering what has got her so wound up, but realize she must have gotten to her prize because she is no longer running. However, she is still whining and whimpering those happy puppy whimpers that come when they have found something long lost. Before I can look up to see what her has whimpering like this, I hear it, "Veronica."