Many greetings! Yeah yeah I know this took a long time, but shit happens and I don't want to bore you with my excuses. I really liked writing this chapter, as we have officially hit the midway point (yes this story will be 10 chapters) and things are going to get very interesting, as there's a whole lot of setup. Please review if you can, and enjoy! -Y

Chapter 5: They Don't Understand

January 29th, 1985

Another day, another piece. Another piece of El's weary spirit falling and floating softly to the cold ground, like a feather. She peeks her head up for an instant to make sure she knows where she's going, before sending it straight back down. The familiar smell of the school hallways enveloping her in its thickness. She feels the air of anxiety compress her neck, forcing her to subconsciously stare at the floor, the heavy backpack doing her no favors.

She wears one of her four pairs of blue jeans, and a long sleeved white shirt with the occasional horizontal red stripe. It was a particularly cold day today, so she wears her thick brown jacket as well.

The loneliness stabs at her heart again, feeling like a freak when she's all by herself. Everyone else at the school is talking to someone, and some are even holding hands… Which makes El sick with anger. They don't even deserve it, she'll always think. The ugly feeling stirs deep inside of her everytime she sees it. It isn't just anger, it's a deep kind of hurt, because she knows that no one is ever going to make her feel the way Mike did.

Every time the ugly feeling makes itself known, she pushes it down further, feeling a sense of shame at how sad she gets.

With a quick flick of her head the locker opens immediately, but she kneels down a bit and fiddles the key pad with her fingers to make it seem like she had to open it conventionally. She opens it up and is greeted by the plain calendar that's taped to the inside of her door. She grabs the sharpie that's hanging upon it, and marks the numbers 89 on it.

Day 89

She would never give up… no matter what Owens or Hopper told her. Even if the tree was dead, it would never be chopped down. She closes the door ever so slightly to make sure that no one is watching her while she grieves to herself. She slings off her backpack and puts it inside, along with her coat, and takes out her papers for her first three classes. She remembers how the boys insisted that her science folder be green, because it "just had to", so she gets that out first, along with a pencil.

She takes another glance at the calendar, being momentarily taken out of school once again, and back to a time when she was happy, although this time she's forcefully taken out of it when she sees Will's figure approaching. "Hey El! What's up?"

El quickly and noticeably slams her locker shut, not wanting to show Will. She knows that he's completely aware that El's been counting the days, because he has too, but he's always just so understanding it makes her mad. She doesn't want to talk about it, even if Will convinces her to want to talk about it.

The loud bang startles the boy a bit, to which El apologizes for. "You look tired" he remarks, El shrugs, "Tuesday"

She very quickly learned the stigma of everyone hating Mondays because they were the start of the week, but for her, Tuesday was easily worse. She was never able to explain it very well to her friends, because of her sub-par vocabulary, but in her mind it makes perfect sense.

"On Monday, it's not as bad because the weekend was yesterday, so you got a break" she would always say. "But on Tuesday, you're tired from Monday, and you still have most of the week left"

Her friends, most notably Lucas, would always overdramatically scoff. "You're just saying that cause Hopper gets groceries on Mondays". She wasn't quite sure what groceries were, but when they told her, she had to admit that that was a big part of it.

Will however, simply nods, accepting the fact that El doesn't like Tuesdays. "Don't worry, Mr. Clarke's starting a new chapter today, so there won't be any homework"

"Chapter?"

"Yeah…"

"Like in a book?"

"No, every two weeks Mr. Clarke teaches us a chapter, and then we take a test on it"

El's face turns to a confused frown, knowing that yesterday they had taken a test, but Mr. Clarke told her that she didn't have to take it because her first day was in the middle of the chapter. "Will I take a test on this new chapter?" she asks with dread in her voice.

She's never taken a test before, and was relieved when the boys told her it was nothing like the tests in the lab, but they still didn't look very fun.

Will shrugs, "I don't know, sometimes the chapter will have some stuff that was taught before, and you may not know that stuff" he tries to assure her, not really wanting to lower her spirits more than they obviously were right about then.

El looks down at the digital watch that was from Mike's box of things, the one that he gave her back in 83, and sees the time, 7:58.

On cue, the class bell rings a minute later, signalling Will and El to walk over to the classroom. Will taps her arm as they're walking, "hey El, Lucas says there's an official AV club meeting after school today," he says, putting air quotes when he says official meeting.

El rolls her eyes, "don't we go every day?" she asks, knowing that as soon as she joined the AV club, her and the boys would always make their way straight to the "heathkit". On her first visit, she didn't stay for long, as the image of the radio sent her back to over a year ago when Mike snuck her into the school to find Will.

She burst into tears, doing everything in her power to not immediately destroy the heathkit with her mind in pure rage. Instead, she ran off into the girls bathroom where none of them could follow her, and found Hopper's desk lamp with her mind, flashing it in the same order as he did with his knocks.

Not five minutes later, Hopper had come in with a pump action shotgun ready to protect El, but she told him that she just wanted him to take her home. He had to lightly scold her for using that lamp trick for anything other than a "life-threatening emergency" but she didn't listen very much as she cried in his arms.

The boys, especially Will, felt extremely bad for making her cry, and promised that they would find another place to meet. But luckily for all of them, El forced herself to go back into the room, and slowly but surely the pain became less severe, to the point where they were hanging out every day.

But there's never been an "official AV club meeting", leading her to believe that Lucas, the new club president, has something up his sleeve. And by the looks of it, Will has the same feeling.

Nevertheless, they both make it to Mr. Clarke's classroom on time, and they notice Dustin fully engrossed in a comic book, while Lucas is nowhere to be seen. "Where's Lucas?" El asks Dustin as her and Will approach him, Dustin sighs and makes a face she can't decipher.

"Okay… El, please please please don't get mad" he begs, clutching his hands together and holding near his chest, "but Lucas is back there", Dustin points over to the back corner of the room, where Lucas and Max are talking together.

"What?" she responds as she looks at the couple, letting a little too much anger come out of her voice, which the two boys notice. "It's just cause they haven't got to talk in a while and they're dating and we just want you guys to be friends" Dustin rambles, trying to ease El as much as he can.

Both Will and Dustin expect an angry outburst from El, but her brows only furrow in confusion, "dating?" she asks. Will's eyes go wide, stepping a bit behind El, but she doesn't notice. Dustin stutters for a bit "well… like, y-you know, like… boyfriend and girlfriend?" his voice gets a little high pitched at the end of the sentence, hoping this will be enough for El.

"Boyfriend and girlfriend?"

At this point, Will is emphatically swinging his hand across his neck to signal to him that this conversation needs to end. Luckily, Dustin gets the message and quickly tries to finish the conversation, "ask me again later?" he nervously suggests. El slumps her shoulders and lets out a quick and bitter "fine" as she looks back at Lucas and Max, finally sitting down.

…

El's knees need no second response, as the teachers "alright that's good for today" was all it took before she crashed to the ground, drenched in sweat from her mile run. Usually she was able to keep the panting and sweating to a minimum, but today she's particularly out of it, and overly tired.

She watches as most of the girls and boys make their way over to the locker rooms, but El looks up at the clock, not wanting to get up right away. She sees that they still have ten minutes left, and it only takes her around five minutes to get dressed, so she decides to sit and cool off.

She quickly realizes that that was a mistake. Not a minute in to her resting session, one of the more athletic boys walks over to her, kneeling down in front of her. "What's a sexy ass girl like you doin' out here?" he quips with an evil smirk.

El furrows her brows for a split second, not fully knowing what sexy means. She had heard it on her soap operas a few times, but could never quite place the meaning, as it was sometimes a compliment, and sometimes an insult. She figures, though, that she doesn't want to indulge him with a question, prompting him into further conversation, so she opts to ignore him.

The boys smirk slowly fades, turning into a mild disappointment, "what? You taken? If so, he's a lucky guy" he remarks, his eyes trailing down to the shorts she is wearing. But what puts El off, probably more than it should, is that glint in his eyes… El's seen it before, but only in…

She desperately shakes those thoughts from her mind, going back to the moment. Either way, she's extremely put off by his actions, she tries to back up further, but with her head leaned against the wall, there isn't much she can do. He makes no attempt to move, only narrowing his eyes in confusion, clearly questioning her not so subtle panic.

El closes her eyes and attempts to get rid of the flashbacks flooding her mind, but to no avail. The boy in front of her is only getting more confused, "what's a matter with you?" he says in a slightly disgusted voice, being put off by her fidgeting and heavy breathing.

Suddenly, a booming voice echoes through the room, "Mr. Walsh, Ms. Hopper, shouldn't you two be heading to your locker rooms?" he asks. The boy lifts up his knees again, muttering something unintelligible and walking over to the boys locker room. El makes no attempt to move, not caring what the teacher's reaction is, she simply sits with her eyes closed and lets this moment wash over her.

It's okay, it's okay, breathe, breathe, in and out

The calming voice of Hopper enters her mind, but it doesn't get better, the flashbacks of the lab becoming more potent. She feels a hand touch her shoulder, "Jane, are you okay?" he asks with concern in his voice.

El remembers English, Computer Science, History… three more gruesome hours of work. This has never happened at school before, so she doesn't know whether she should go home. She decides to let it out and hope the teachers have the right opinion.

"Panic attack…" she whispers, eyes still glued shut, and breathing still rapid. She can't see the man's face, but after a moment of silence he speaks up again, "over that kid?", she can feel the amusement in his voice, and it makes her angry.

Obviously not over him… she thinks. But she knows it was, at least whatever he did, that triggered her response. Her breathing starts to get more rapid, which seems to be an indicator for the teacher that he needs to act.

"Don't worry, we'll get you to the nurse… you wanna change out of those clothes?" he asks, to which El doesn't respond. She doesn't want to go back in there, to all the girls that didn't have her trauma, her "papa".

"Okay, you'll have to come with me, Jane" he says in a relatively compassionate voice. El opens her eyes, and sees the teachers face of concern turn to one of worry, noticing the tears that are forming in her eyes. "It'll be okay" he says as he opens out his hand, El sniffles hardly, trying to keep the tears at bay, and grabs his hand.

…

Hopper stops his big police car in what feels like a ghost town of a school parking lot. Obviously there were the cars of teachers and staff, but it's jarring to see it without all of the parents dropping their hyperactive kids off in the morning.

He had gotten a call a little bit after his lunch break, the school nurse telling him that his daughter had a panic attack, and he rushed there with half a bagel still in his mouth. He grabs the hat from the passenger seat and slumps out of his car, the rush of adrenaline leaving his system.

His head wages a great war between two conflicting sides. One wants to beat himself up for ever allowing her to go to school and be afraid without him, but another telling him that this is inevitable, and Owens is a doctor.

The mental battle that carries on slows his movements, as he tries to determine what face he should wear when seeing El in her current spot. Compassion is definitely what she needed right now, but he doesn't know how upset she'll be at him for everything he's done, which seems to be a recurring pattern that emerges every time he tries to talk to her for any significant amount of time.

Before he knows it, however, he's at the door to the nurses office. He raises his fist and knocks twice, almost using the secret knock through sheer instinct.

Within the next second, the Nurse opens the door with a smile, but a weary look in her eyes, and ushers for him to come in. He looks around the all white room for a short moment before his eyes land on her.

She wears a black t-shirt and short shorts, and he laughs a little. Even if it wasn't the dead of winter, you'd never catch her wearing anything like that willingly. Hopper had bought her those kind of clothes before, but the bright colors and showing of skin was never her style.

She fiddles with Sara's blue bracelet, breathing steadily out of her nose with her puffy red eyes closed.

"Jane?" he says, even though to him it sounds unnatural to call her anything other than Eleven or El. She opens her eyes, placing them on the gruff man before her. "Hi dad…" she says with a weak voice, high pitched and on the verge of tears. Hopper's heart immediately softens as he walks over and kneels down to hug her.

She embraces it and hugs back, burying her face in his chest. A part of him is shocked that she isn't sending him flying with her powers. Maybe this school thing really is calming her down, he thinks to himself.

After a quiet moment, he pulls back, still holding El by the shoulders; she continues to look down. "Mr. Ericson came in with Jane, said she had a panic attack" the nurse explains in her southern accent. Hopper nods and turns back to El, putting his fingers on her chin to usher her face up, "you wanna go home?" he asks, giving her a we're not done talking about this look. "Yes" El replies.

Hopper stands up and turns to the nurse, "we're gonna head home. You shouldn't be too worried about this, sometimes she'll get attacks like these-" Hopper explains, but is cut off by the nurse, "I know chief, Mr. Coleman told me about her parents" she responds. "I'll excuse her absence for her next teachers"

"Thank you, Ma'am" Hopper replies, looking back to El, "you got your real clothes?"

"Yes" she says again.

…

Hopper puts his foot on the gas pedal as they drive home. El feels a strange sort of giddiness at the prospect of getting to spend the rest of her day at home, but she's still afraid of the panic attack she had not an hour ago.

It isn't long before Hopper speaks up, anxious to hear about what happened. "Was it about Mike?" he asks, causing El to sigh in regret and bitterness, "no" she whispers, not very excited to talk about her papa again. Her dad remains silent, ushering her to continue, "papa…"

"Brenner?" he wonders aloud, a little thrown for a loop. She hadn't even had a nightmare of Brenner since Mike died… this isn't normal.

"Why was it about him?" Hopper asks, El scrunches up, feeling overwhelming shame at her thoughts. At why it was about him. Mike says private

Mike says private. Mike says private. Mike says private.

"I don't know" she lies weakly, shrugging her shoulders. Hopper heaves a large sigh, "El…", he responds; El looks down in shame. "Was it something that happened at school?"

"Obviously" she bites back with her new favorite word. "El, please. I need you to talk to me"

"No…" she says, her voice barely above a whisper.

"El you ca-"

"NO!" she shouts. Hopper's face turns red, but he stays silent, leaving El to consider her outburst. She looks down, to the left, to the right, at her watch, at her bracelet, at her clothes… she wishes so desperately there's a room to run to, a door to slam, a blanket to hide under, but they're in a moving car, so they have to sit with the awkwardness.

Hopper doesn't know what to say. I struck a nerve with her, obviously, but how? He doesn't understand. All he knows is that she isn't gonna let it out now, so he lets the awkwardness play out, if anything he'll use the awkwardness as punishment, even though it's painful for him too.

Unfortunately, this wouldn't be the end of anything, as the worst is yet to come.

February 1st, 1985

"As for rhetorical appeals, there are three, logos, ethos, and pathos. Logos is an appeal to logic and reason, ethos, an appeal to authority or a trusted individual or thing, and pathos is an appeal to the emotion…" El's english teacher continues to ramble about rhetorical appeals, using words she doesn't understand constantly.

It frustrates her to no end; every time there's a definition to a word, it's filled with other words she doesn't know. She's so out of the loop it feels like she doesn't belong, and her teachers elitist demeanor only makes it harder for her to ask questions.

So she resigns to zoning out. Thinking about her friends, what she's gonna do when she gets home, and that's about it when it comes to her boring life. Lucas has once again called an official AV club meeting, because El couldn't be there on Tuesday. And because of that, she is 100% sure something is up, as there's no reason not to continue with the meeting unless they specifically wanted her there.

Her deep thought is discontinued when she hears her teacher talk in a more commanding voice. "Now!" he says, getting all of the students' attention. "You are going to find an advertisement, be it in an article or on TV, and detail how it uses a certain rhetorical appeal. This piece is due by Friday of next week, but you will get to work with a partner" he explains; his last words causing most of the students to look around excitedly at one another, however the teacher raises his finger.

"Don't get too excited, I will be assigning partners" a collective groan is heard across the classroom, as the teacher begins to explain, "in life, cooperation is essential to being successful, and you are not always going to have a say in whom you cooperate with". However, this does little to console the class, as they all wear frowns or semi-frowns on their faces.

The teacher proceeds to grab a purple cup with a bunch of popsicle sticks with names on them, and then yanks two at random.

El shifts in her seat nervously, not wanting to end up with someone that thinks she's weird. I don't want to be with a boy, she resolves to herself… I don't want to be with a girl, she also realizes. Neither sex is particularly appealing to her right now; she doesn't want to work with anyone.

It's only after most students' names are listed that she begins to worry about another thing… she hasn't been picked yet. What if there's an odd amount of people, and I have to work alone, she ponders.

That's a good thing, I don't want to work with anyone

That's a bad thing, I don't want to be the only one working alone

She shuffles in her seat again as she sees one last popsicle stick. It must be her… he hasn't said her name yet and there's only one left. The teacher raises it up and turns it sideways to read the name, "Ms. Mayfield… that can't be right, I know I have an even number of kids in my class" he says.

El is both relieved and all the more worried at the same time. She doesn't know who Ms. Mayfield is, but it's not her, so is that a good thing or a bad thing?

After a while of silence, with the teacher scanning the room and looking at his sticks, his brows lift up in realization. "Ah! Ms. Hopper" he says, making all eyes fall on her; El's face instantly turns red.

"You only joined our class so recently, I don't have a popsicle stick of you!" he says in a giddish tone, relieved that everyone will have a partner. "So you shall be working with Ms. Mayfield" he says as he points over to the other end of the room.

And it's her…

That redhead… Max

El's eyes immediately widen in shock; she had no idea Max was even in this class, and it looks like she thought the same.

After Max looks at the teacher and gives him a fake smile, she puts her hands over her face so El doesn't see her. She is not looking forward to this, without her friends to protect her.

"So! I trust you're all familiar with your partners, so group with them and get to work!" he says as he walks back over to his desk to grade papers. Instantly, most of the kids shoot up out of their desks to meet their partners. El doesn't.

She doesn't want to see her, she doesn't want to talk to her. She got to stay with Mike… she wanted Mike all to herself

Once most of the pairs settle on the floor or in some desks, the fluctuating noise of the kids evens out to a steady talkative environment, like they were in the cafeteria. El keeps her face glued to her desk, knowing how awkward and antisocial it makes her look but at the same time not wanting to face Max.

She sees a looming shadow hover over her desk, and she can feel her presence. El hears a deep breath and the sound of the girl moving over to the desk beside her, and sitting down.

"Hey… El"

She can't call me El! Mike calls me El!, she thinks, but stops herself from saying out loud because everyone calls her Jane. So she opts to say nothing at all.

"We didn't really get to meet… but I was there that night," Max says, looking at her with hopeful eyes, wishing she would at least acknowledge her existence.

El wrestles with her current situation in her head. The responsible and nice side of El wants to be polite to her at the very least, even if she doesn't want to be friends with her. But everytime her mind slips a little too much on the caring side, the devil on her shoulder reawakens, reminding her of what she did.

The battle in her head prevents her from speaking, and she hears Max sigh again. "El… I want us to be friends, I think you know that" she says. After another bout of silence, Max continues, "but I don't know why you're mad at me, I just wanna know what I did so I won't do it again" she reasons.

Max is reminded of Mike, and the way he acted around her for no discernible reason. She thought he was lovesick over El, and was getting mad because Max was being invited into the party, but her theory was shot down after she tried to be sincere with him at the house, talking about El and whatnot, but he continued to berate her.

She honestly doesn't know what to think. She was never super close to Mike, and she doesn't even know El at all, but they were obviously in love.

But it still doesn't answer why they both seem to be mad at her. Lucas explained to her that she was basically upset with everyone right now, but at least she bothers to hang out with the boys, and it also doesn't explain why she didn't shake Max's hand that night.

Her inner distresses are ended with the smallest of peeps from El. "I'll get the article" she whispers coldy, as she gets up out of her seat and moves to the shelf filled with magazines.

Max makes no attempts to complain, and sits awkwardly as she awaits El's arrival with newfound dread. Eventually, El comes back with a random article and flops it down on Max's desk rudely. She makes a sigh, this time of annoyance.

She knows she has to be gentle with El, but this is testing her patience.

Max quickly shifts through each page without much thought, pretending like she's putting deep thought into each ad, and that's her reason for not talking to El. After a good minute of searching, she finishes the last page and shrugs her shoulders.

"I can't find anything good" she explains; El gives her a confused look, "you bare-aly even checked" she says, swiping the magazine from Max's arms.

"That's okay, you check" she jokes after she takes it from her, hoping to get some sort of reaction from El, but she once again furrows her brow, "I already have it" El retorts with an exasperated voice.

"I was kidding" Max tries to explain, but it comes out as a meek excuse rather than what she would regularly say. That's it. I'm not letting El do this, she resolves to herself.

"So, how have you been these past few months?"

"What's it to you?" El asks coldly, keeping her eyes on the magazine; she remembers that saying because her dad would always use it when talking to her.

"C'mon, El… I think you're being kind of unfair" she finally lets out, mentally wincing at how honest she's being. She so far has no real respect for El, but she's determined to at least understand her.

"What do you know about unfair?" El bites back, shifting her eyes to the redhead. Max isn't an idiot, she knows there's a lot El' said in that one response. But it's true.

Max hasn't always had it easy, an abusive brother and dad, a nasty divorce, having no real friends except for Lucas and kind of Dustin and technically Mike, but El was raised in a lab and physically and mentally tortured until she escaped, only to lose the one person she cares about the most in this world. The mere thought saddens Max, and she can clearly empathize with her, but it doesn't explain El's behavior to her.

"I just wanna know what I did to make you mad at me"

El scoffs, looking back down at the magazine and continuing to scan papers. What am I supposed to say to that? Max wonders, letting silence play out for a little bit. She continues to allow El to skim through the magazine, but almost jumps when she hears El speak up again.

"You got to see Mike… when I was stuck in the cabin" El whispers; Max opens her mouth to speak, but stops when she sees El's hurting face, eyebrows shifted upward in a look of regret.

There's a million comebacks in Max's mind, a million reasons as to why that's a stupid explanation, but she sees El about to continue, so she, miraculously, keeps quiet.

"A-and then when I see him… he d-d" El can't finish the sentence, she rather closes her eyes and uses all her strength to keep herself from crying.

Max doesn't have a retort to this. It's not her fault that this happened, after all, it was Mike's idea to go into the caves. But she gets the feeling that both El and Max know this to be true, and El's just caught between a rock and a hard place.

"I was there… when you fell off your skateboard at the school… you were talking to Mike"

Max widens her eyes in realization. So you did that, she thinks to herself, but keeps it there. Should I hug her? Too fast… should I calm her down? What if she just yells at me. Max treads the delicate line that is Jane Hopper, debating with herself what to say or not say.

El's tormented face suddenly turns into a rather frightening, to Max at least, scowl, "you wanted Mike all to yourself!" she practically shouts. Max instantly darts her head around the room, and to her relief sees that no one seems to have noticed. She looks back to El who's still eyeing daggers at her. She finally takes in exactly what El had said, and lets her patience slip, if just a little.

"That's bullshit!" she exclaims in a whisper voice. The challenging of El's dominance catches her off guard, and she widens her eyes just a little in shock. "Just because I'm a girl and I was talking to a boy doesn't mean I'm into him! I'm literally dating Lucas!" Max continues, making El shake her head and scoff once again.

"I don't care if you're 'dating' Lucas, you tried to take Mike away from me!" El childishly retorts, making Max let out a laugh at how absurd she's being. "That doesn't even make sense! Do you even know what dating is?"

After a second of strange silence, El looks down, "no… but it doesn't mat-"

"It sure as hell does matter!" Max cuts her off, sick at the realization that this was all just some petty jealousy from a girl who probably didn't know any better.

"If I'm dating him, that means we're boyfriend and girlfriend" she explains, and El looks back up at her.

"Well what's that?" she asks in an annoyed voice.

"It means that we're interested in each other!... I don't know, we kiss, hold hands…" Max tries to explain, but she sees El's face and knows she's not getting anywhere.

"When you have a boyfriend, it means they're extra special to you, and sometimes if they're really special to you, then you marry and have kids and all that shit" Max teaches, hoping that El would get some sort of message.

Really special. El learned what marriage is through soap operas. When she first discovered the TV back when her hair had only grown out a little bit, she became infatuated with each and every couple, kissing and marrying and falling in love. She would always sit right in front of the TV, and daydream about her and Mike marrying and kissing all day. Does that mean Lucas and Max are going to marry? She wonders to herself.

But she finds that the devil on her shoulder does not like this new information. She imagines Lucas and Max kissing… holding hands, hugging, telling each other I love you, and marrying. Max is in a gorgeous white gown, and Lucas in a smooth black tux. I do, they would both say. All of their friends would be there, and it would be the happiest moment of their lives.

A moment that El spent a year daydreaming would happen to her… it won't now. She'll never marry another, she cares about Mike too much, and she'll never love anyone again.

She can't be happy, but they can.

I can't be happy… but Max can.

El snaps, practically jumping from her desk and rushing out of the room, too fast and too silently for even the teacher to notice. Max sits for a second, taking in all of the information. If she's going to see her later today for her "AV club initiation", which she knows is just a poorly disguised ploy to get Max and El in the same room, then she can't let it end like this.

Glancing to make sure the teacher isn't watching her, Max races out of the classroom. The hallway is expectedly sparse, with no one in this particular hall besides El, who is speed walking away from the door. Max chases after her.

"El!" she shouts to get her attention, not bothering to keep her voice level in a whisper. El turns around to look at her with a what do you want? face, tears forming in her eyes.

"What's wrong with you?" she asks, probably a little harsher sounding than she meant it to be.

"Don't want to talk to you" El mutters with as much spite as she can muster. Max practically gasps. "C'mon El! I'm trying to be nice, I'm trying to be a friend because I know what you're going through… and there aren't that many people who actually do" Max exclaims, alluding to their big secret.

"I don't care" El responds, turning around, but Max grabs her arm.

"No no no, you are not going to act like such a bitch!"

"W-"

"No! You listen to me! I've literally done nothing wrong! And I'm trying super hard to be a good person, and you're treating me like crap, just like Mike!"

"You're trying to be my friend like it's out of the goodness of your heart!" El bites back, looking at her face to face, both with intense stares. She continues, "you can say sorry, you can say you care… but it doesn't mean anything because you've had it good compared to me!"

"Yeah right, you're the only one who's ever suffered out of everyone on the fucking planet! I have a brother that would probably rather see me dead than miss whatever stupid hookup of the day he has. My whole life has been a collection of people who hate me for no reason! Whether it's my dad, my brother, or you!"

"I don't give a shit! You have something! You have Lucas, and a mom, and you can speak normally, and no one scares you so much that you thought you wouldn't get to see the next day of your life if you made them mad! You're happy!"

"Who said I was just a happy and go lucky person who's always gonna have it good in life?" Max says, tears now in her eyes.

"You have a reason to be happy! I have nothing! I have a bad and ugly feeling and I just want it to go away but it won't go away no matter what I do!" El exclaims, tears now fully cascading down her red face.

"You're just fucking jealous!"

"N-"

"No! You're just jealous because I have Lucas and you wanna take that from me! All because YOU don't realize that you can't have Mike back! He's fucking dead! Just get the hell over it and stop being such an asshole to me!"

El's tear stained face stops, her heart stops, her lungs stop, her brain stops. The ugly feeling… it comes back in full force and makes her want to stop. She doesn't want to do this anymore, she can't do this anymore. She's right. Mike's just fucking dead.

Silence overcomes the two teens as they both begin to realize just what they said, or at least Max does. El doesn't feel anything.

"El… I'm so sorry" Max says sincerely, but El is already deaf. The ugly feeling consumes her, and she faints.

…

El wakes up in a cold sweat, stuttering to catch her breath before she opens her eyes. She sits up in whatever kind of bed she's in right now, knowing that it can't be her own. She's terrified… she had a terrifying dream, even if she couldn't remember it if her life depended on it.

She slowly opens her eyes, letting the bright white walls attack her. For the shortest of seconds, she thinks she's back in the lab, and after a few more seconds of consideration, she chuckles at the thought.

What if it was all a dream? What if she never even met Mike? What if it was just a test conducted by the bad men to invade her dreams and make her think she's been free for a whole year.

Would that be so bad?

She quickly realizes that she's once again in the nurse's room, lying on a cheap polyester bed with what can only be described as the blanket equivalent of a dirty tissue. She instantly throws the blanket off and scrubs off the germs, even if it won't do much. After getting her bearings, she turns to her left to see Lucas, Dustin, and Will.

Will has a concerned look, which El is starting to think is just a permanent position on his face, but she appreciates it nonetheless. She looks slightly to her right to see Dustin, who has less of a compassionate look of concern, but rather one with a hint of panic and dread.

However, it's Lucas she can't decipher. He's clearly really trying to look sorry or sad or concerned, but she can see the contempt, or at the very least, annoyance, in his eyes. Because El was never good with speech, she became quite skilled at reading people's faces, so it isn't a problem for her to know exactly why Lucas is upset.

He's dating Max… of course he's going to be upset that they're currently hating each other. She imagines how Mike might react to something like this if El and him were dating, but she shakes the thought away at how much it saddens her.

"What time is it?" El lets out, having no clue as to how much time has passed. Will sighs in response, probably because he knows that that shouldn't be her first question. Lucas continues to remain silent, and it's only Dustin who answers. "It's 2:39" he says as he lifts up his sleeve to check his wrist watch.

El rolls her eyes to herself as she realizes that she too has a watch, and she could have checked it. A heavy silence hangs over the four again, as El shifts in her bed to sit up higher. Finally, Lucas sighs and speaks up, "what happened, El?"

El sighs, putting on a regretful face to Lucas, "I fainted…" she says innocently; Lucas shakes his head. "No, I mean what happened between you and Max? I tried to talk to her but she was in a crying fit and she skateboarded home" he explains, his voice slightly high pitched to reflect his grievance.

El tries to keep her disdain from being too obvious, although she suspects Will is catching on, "sorry. We got in an argument"

"Yeah, I got that much" Lucas says with just as much disdain as El, challenging her very limited patience. "She said Mike was fucking dead! And I should just get over it!" she says in a raised, but not a bellowing, voice.

"Language!" the nurse calls from afar.

"What?!" Will gasps, keeping his voice to a relative whisper; shock and anger now formed on his face. Dustin wore a similar if a less intense look of shock, and Lucas narrowed his eyes in skepticism.

"Are you sure that's what she said?" he asks, not fully believing that Max would say something like that. El opens her mouth, stuttering in shock, "wha-... you don't believe me?" she bites back. Lucas raises both of his hands in a calming gesture, "I'm just saying, that's probably not the full story. She wouldn't say something that mean"

"Well she did, okay?!" El exclaims, making the nurse hop out of her chair and speed walk over to her, "is everything okay over here?" she asks with that signature teacher look; wanting the shouting to stop, but clearly not caring enough to wonder why they're shouting in the first place.

"Yeah…" the four kids say in unison, which seems to be enough for her. "Are you gonna be okay to meet your dad in fifteen minutes?" she asks. El nods, doing a terrible job at hiding her frown. The nurse nods back and walks away back to her desk, "no shouting!" she shouts as she waddles away.

El scoffs, looking back to her friends, who she now wants nothing to do with. "Leave me alone" she states coldy, turning her head around to stare at the wall. "El, c'mo-" Dustin begins but is cut off.

"Leave me alone. I don't want to talk to you guys"

Will sighs, giving El a puppy dog eyed look, even though she can't see him. "El, if you need us, you can just tell us… we care about you"

"It's true, El" Dustin adds in. The boys see El sigh, and Will considers this a job well done, at least she won't stay mad at us, he thinks to himself. But his hopeful feeling is squashed as he hears Lucas cut in again.

"No El! We're your friends, and we care about you, but you can't treat us like this!" Lucas exclaims, keeping his voice low enough so that the nurse doesn't berate them. El doesn't react, she only keeps her back turned.

"You can't treat Max like that either, I actually care about her, and it sucks to see you two like this" he continues, but to no avail.

"Lucas, lets just give her some alone time" Dustin ushers with his arm, beginning to walk away with Will. Lucas hesitates for a second, but reluctantly follows his friends without another word, El's back still turned.

Fifteen minutes pass, and the school bell rings, with a bundle of kids who are also in the office, probably feigning sickness, jumping out of their seats and running out of there. The nurse notices El, who hasn't moved, and walks up to her.

"Sweetie? School's out…" she reminds her. She sees El wipe her eyes and sniffle, and when she turns around, her face is red and tear stained. "Thank you" she lets out, before shifting out of the office. The nurse lets out a sigh, she knows she's going to be seeing more of that little girl.

El subconsciously makes her way to the bike rack off of muscle memory, but realizes that none of her friends are going to be there. She sighs to herself, making a ninety degree turn over to the parking lot. Luckily, Hopper's car sticks out like a sore thumb compared to the rest of minivans and Ford-F series.

She opens the car door quickly and shuts it just as fast, resting her head on the window frame and staring longingly at the sky. She imagines being a bird; small and not worth noticing, normal, and pretty. She could fly away from this mess.

Flying higher and higher until she reached the city on the clouds she's heard so much about… where Mike might be.

"That was pretty quick, I barely just got to the school" Hopper's gruff voice ceases her fantasy, trying to make conversation. "Had an argument with Max" El lets out, keeping her eyes in the skies. Hopper furrows his brows for a second, letting out a monotone "uhhh" before looking back at her through the rearview mirror.

"Isn't that the kid who was at the house?"

"Yes. I fainted"

Hopper turns his body around to face her, "you what?" he says with a mixture of shock and disbelief. "Can I just talk to Owens about it later… please?" she asks, giving Hopper those signature puppy-dog eyes.

She doesn't want to talk to Owens about it either, but at least this way it'll get Hopper off her back. The police chief sighs and shifts his eyes back to the road, pulling out of the parking lot and making his way home.

February 6th, 1985

El is not having a good day. This morning, she woke up in a cold sweat, straight from a nightmare. They're getting worse.

Her dream wasn't that scary, not at all. It was just a dream with her at school... and Mike was there. He held her hand, calmed down the fight between her and Max, told the guy who was hitting on her in gym to back off, and making her feel so so special.

Usually when she has nightmares, she's extremely scared during the whole thing, but this time, she felt a strange sensation that she hadn't felt since Mike called her pretty in the bathroom, over a year ago.

Happiness.

When she woke up, it dawned on her that it wasn't real, and she cried hard. The ugly feeling came back with a vengeance, and she threw around her pillows and covers until her room looked like a tornado.

And here she is, in the middle of her second period math class, looking at the results of her latest test. Granted, a C+ isn't the end of the world, but all she can focus on are the red markings that litter her paper. She wanted to go ask Lucas what his test results were, but she remained in her seat.

Over the past couple of days, she felt an odd hostility coming from Lucas. She knows they didn't leave on the happiest of terms, but she doesn't feel comfortable around him at math class anymore. Since Friday, she's made no attempts to talk to him, and clearly, he hasn't either. But this is her first true test. She has every reason to go up and ask, which is more than she can say about her other encounters with him over Monday and Tuesday, and no reason to stay behind… or does she?

She shakes her head. What am I thinking? She thinks to herself, sighing inwardly. Why is this so hard? She fights back angry tears.

Why can't Mike be with me? I just want Mike…

She was always such a scared and lonely person, and Mike was something she could fall back on when she was confused or alone, because she could trust him to be himself. She fell in love with that person, and he's gone.

It isn't about the grades anymore, but El puts her head down over the packet, hiding her red face from the class that she's sure noticed her looking so stressed out.

…

After a good minute of trying, El finally manages to open her locker without her powers, something she's been getting better and better at doing since Will forced her to try. She dares a glance at her calendar, darting her eyes back to their original position after not being able to look at it for more than a second.

She opens the zipper on her backpack and puts her English notebook and folder back. Speaking of, that class, while never a walk in the park, is particularly painful nowadays.

On Monday, she was met with Max profusely apologizing for what she said the other day, and while El didn't really care, she felt the sincerity behind her apology, and reciprocated, telling Max that she was sorry too. She wasn't.

The next day, Max was a little less on edge, at least from what El noticed. Maybe it was El's apology that gave Max the confidence she needed to continue, maybe it was something else, but it didn't matter. They didn't end up yelling profanities at each other and they made good progress with their project, so that was a good day for both of them.

Every time El would talk with her friends, they always got hopeful when she mentioned Max, most of all Lucas, who would actually speak up to El on those occasions, something he seldom did recently. El always responded with "I don't know" or something of the sort, sometimes just shrugging her shoulders and changing the subject.

She doesn't think she'll ever be able to actually like Max after everything that's happened, but a part of her is starting to realize it isn't really her fault.

She talked to Doctor Owens yesterday, especially about Max and everything that happened. She didn't think she would want to tell him, but Owens has always had a special way of connecting to her.

He told her that her anger stage was ending, and soon she would be moving on to bargaining, which he didn't explain. She looked up bargaining in the dictionary, and was utterly confused as to how she could feel bargaining.

Either way, the week, although it only being halfway done, has been long and arduous. Today, Max seemed to be a lot more out of it than she usually is. She was chilled out and tired, not seeming to care at all about how El reacted to what she said or what she did, which confused her, but she welcomed the less talkative version of Max.

She searches around in her backpack for a bit, wondering what she'll need for her next class. "Hey El", she hears the voice of Will call behind her, before she sees him walk up next to her and open up her locker. Usually they would try to make some kind of conversation, but for some odd reason they don't. It isn't awkward, at least not to El, so she lets it pass as she fiddles around in her locker.

She hears Will turn to his right and exclaim "hey guys!", moving over to where Lucas and Dustin had just came from and greeting them. "Hey Will, hey El" Dustin says. Lucas stays silent, with a half smile on his face, probably from seeing Will.

The three exchange pleasantries as El continues to move her hands around her locker. She already has everything for her next period, but she needs to look like she has a reason not to talk to her friends, out of some strange desire to keep to herself.

"Well well well, if it isn't midnight, toothless, and the fairy!" a new and malevolent voice comes from El's right, a voice she swears she's heard before. "Now I wanna know how you little shits managed to beat me in that kickball game… what was it, some sort of stupid science shit?" the boy laughs at his own comment, and El finally moves the locker door away so she can see his face.

It's the kid that always winked at her in gym class, the one who always shoved Lucas and Dustin while they were running, the one who gave her the panic attack when he tried to talk to her, and the one she coincidentally used her powers on to beat during a game of kickball earlier today.

"Look Troy, we didn't do anything, it was just some luck, that's all" Lucas tries to explain with his back against the locker as the boy, now known to be Troy, stares him in the eyes. Troy, El swears she's heard that name before… somewhere. The name sounds familiar, but she can't put her finger on it. Will turns his head around to give El a worried look, which makes her confused, is this just some bully?

"Ain't no way it was just good luck, I saw the ball float in the air for gods sake"

"C'mon Troy, what do you want us to tell you?"

Troy cracks a smirk, "I think I can forget about this little incident, and let you guys go this time around, on one condition"

"What do you want?" Lucas asks, beginning to lose his patience. Troy eyes him with a sick glint in his eyes. "I know you hang out with that chick during gym every day, you get me her number by tomorrow, and we'll forget this ever happened," he explains, patting Lucas' shoulders aggressively.

It occurs to El that, despite her being only a few feet away from him, he has neglected to notice her. Am I that chick? What is chick? She thinks to herself, but not aloud. If he really is talking about her, then she doesn't know whether she should speak or not. She debates with herself whether she should continue to act like nothing is happening and check her locker, or continue watching.

"That's not happening Troy, she's not that kinda girl", Dustin attempts to defend, and Troy's evil smirk turns into a nasty frown. "Maybe she is and she just don't know it yet" he says, and makes a dirty laugh. This results in a hard shove from Dustin, "leave her alone Troy"

Troy doesn't push back, but simply straightens his stature so he's standing tall compared to Dustin. "What's it to you, freak?" the use of the word makes El shiver, having been called that once or twice.

"We both know you're not dating her, I mean look at you" he quips, seeming genuinely amused at his own joke. Dustin shakes his head, "I'm serious, dude, let it go"

Troy stands for a second, slowly inching his way up to Dustin, "what are you gonna do about it toothless? I don't see Mike anywhere to stand up for team nerd"

Dustin's eyes droop down and he lets out a sigh, "leave. us. alone." Lucas interjects, pushing his index finger into the bully's chest with each word. Troy smiles wickedly once again.

"Oh no!" he puts his hands to his heart and mocks concern, "what are we gonna do with out Mike? Now we don't have a president of the nerd club, boo hoo!"

El feels herself stiffen with each word, the pain of Mike hitting her like a semi, throbbing pain coursing through her body. The ugly feeling returns, making her want to leave this school and never come back, she closes her eyes.

Her friends all have equally pained faces, which seems to make Troy laugh, "frogface isn't here to jump off a cliff for you anymore, toothless" he laughs.

Jump off a cliff…

Of course! How could El not see it before! This was the boy who threatened Dustin with a knife, and forced Mike to jump off a cliff.

"I was tripped by this mouthbreather Troy, okay?"

"Mouthbreather?"

"Yeah, you know, a dumb person. A knucklehead"

"Knucklehead?"

"I don't know why I just didn't tell you... everyone at school knows. I just didn't want you to think I was such a wastoid, you know"

"Mike..."

"Yeah?"

"I understand"

"Oh. Okay... cool"

"Cool..."

An intense anger fills her whole body…

"What? You gonna cry? Just another stupid ass freak that kicked the bucket… one less problem if you ask me-"

Slam!

El throws her locker door shut, so loud that it gets the attention of almost the entire hallway, including Troy. He looks up and immediately smirks. "Oh! I thought I could find you hanging out with these freaks, what do you say me and you ditch these losers" he says in a sudden flirtatious voice.

El wears a terrifying frown as she walks up to him, giving him the "eleven" stare. Her breathing becomes a bit more rapid with each step, and Troy fidgets around uncomfortably as she slowly makes her way over to him, put off by her obvious hatred.

"What's got you so upset?" he keeps his cocky voice up, closing the distance between El and him so they're only inches apart. El looks up at him with an indomitable rage.

The other three kids all give varying looks. Will continues looking down, holding back hot tears. Lucas looks down as well, but seemingly in a rage rather than sadness, and Dustin closes his eyes, knowing this'll end the same way it did at the quarry.

"Why don't you come with me and I'll get to know you a little bet-" Troy can't finish his sentence. At the moment, he's too busy getting a fist thrown at his left cheek. He stumbles back a little, in both surprise and in pain. His eyes widen at the realization of his cut lip and he stares right back at her, "you're dead, you bitch"

Troy moves back up to her, practically speed walking, but El's prepared. She gathers all of the pain, the hate, the pure rage she's been doing her damndest to bottle up for the past month, and swiftly knees him in the nuts. Troy recoils in pain, moving his hands to his sensitive area, but El doesn't relent.

She throws her fists his way again, swing after swing after swing. Her right fist to his face, then her left, and so on until he begins to bruise. She grunts in pain with each swing, feeling the blunt force she puts into each punch attack her knuckles, but she doesn't care, and she doesn't relent.

She begins to use her powers in a subtle way, significantly boosting her strength. If she's been doing that the whole time, or if she's only now just deciding to use them, she doesn't know, and she doesn't care, and she doesn't relent.

Tears begin to fall down her face, but she continues punching him, eventually grabbing him by either shoulder and throwing him into the locker, a feat of strength she definitely couldn't do without her powers. He crashes to the floor and pathetically squeals in pain again. She gets on her knees and begins to pummel him, raising each arm up sky high and sending it downward with as much telekinetic boosted force she can muster.

"Hey! Young lady!" she hears the voice of a teacher call from behind her. Without a second thought, she sends him falling to the floor, making it look like he tripped, and each time he attempts to get up, she puts him back down again.

El is sobbing her eyes out right now, but she does not care. She imagines this as the person that has caused all of her pain, all of her suffering, all of her torment, and bashes him to the ground.

"El! Please, stop!" she hears Will call from behind. The urgent but still calming voice of Will is enough to snap her out of whatever frenzy she's in. She looks down at her work, seeing the bloodied, borderline unrecognizable face of Troy. She dissolves into a fresh batch of tears.

She doesn't regret her actions, but the ugly feeling has become so overwhelming it begins to shut her body down. She doesn't know what's real anymore, and everything becomes fuzzy. She wants more than anything to destroy the school with her powers, make it look like an earthquake, and she definitely could, but somehow she restrains herself.

She simply buries her face in her hands and wails, as everyone in the hallway watches her with terrified looks. Two security agents rush over and grab the boy by his shoulders and feet. "MISS HOPPER" she hears the booming voice of principal Coleman echo through to the other end of the hallway. "IN MY OFFICE, IMMEDIATELY"

She quickly stands up, a new frown adorning her face, her eyes puffy and red, and she speed walks behind the principal in anger.

"El…" she hears the voice of Dustin behind her, and a hand touch her arm, but she shakes it off and continues walking.

And I know this is only 10,000 words, but I still think that's an average enough length. The argument between El and Max and the fight she has with Troy were some of the first scenes I ever though up when I began writing this story, so I hope you enjoyed those. Next chapter is titled Bargaining, and will be filled with interesting moments and payoff for some of the things I set up, so I hope you guys enjoyed and the next chapter should be up by at least Tuesday of next week.

(but of course take that with a grain of salt)

Thank you!

-Y