AN: A dumb idea I had of mixing some of star trek's Data with Byleth

I have not finished watching a playthrough of the game at this point so there are probably some inconsistencies

Jeralt's boy, Byleth, was an odd one, you could ask anyone who had met him and they'd all say the same: "He's an odd boy, that Byleth. He's a good kid, but odd."

He was as strong and sturdy as a Great Knight's steed, maybe even sturdier. But the people found his movements odd, too precise, no movements wasted beyond what is strictly needed. He could plow a field all on his own, break in the most unruly steeds in the kingdom, and bake cookies for an entire orphanage without breaking a sweat or giving a single complaint.

Despite this, he could often be at odds with people. Sarcasm, jokes, simple metaphors, and parts of common knowledge were niceties he was often unable to grasp. Knowledge he could append easily, he was hungry for it in a way that could rival even the most studious of scholars. He would fervently question those that introduced him to new ideas, and when given the opportunity he would go through book after book, flipping pages so fast that one would barely believe he could actually read anything. Along with the speed of his reading one might also notice his eyes, at a glance it would seem like they were steady, but if one looked closer they would realize they were moving with rapid, minute movements. And if you were to quiz him? He could quote any line in any book as if he was reading it right at the moment.

Knowledge he could append. But he was not so similarly blessed with his ability to read the finer details of human interactions.

One could almost entertain the thought that he was not human at all. That perhaps, Jeralt and his wife had come across Byleth, scared, confused, not knowing a thing about the world, and took him in as their own. And if one were to ask Byleth if he was, in fact, human, he would give them an unexpected answer.

But that would be a silly thing to entertain.

"Ugh, did you stay up the whole night again Byleth?" Jeralt dragged a hand down his face, seeing the scattered papers, and furniture dragged across the room. The telltale signs that his son hadn't gotten a wink.

Byleth cocked his head, gave a minute scrunch to his forehead, and lifted his right eyebrow slightly at his father's question. One of the many quirks to his body language picked up over the years. Jeralt wouldn't hazard a guess to how many times he had seen it before.

"Father, as I have mentioned several times before, I do not require sleep." He spoke in a way that one could mistake as patronizing, but Jeralt knew his boy better than anyone. He was simply stating what he thought was as obvious as the sun cresting the horizon. "There are many more productive ways to spend my time rather than simulating rest. Such as reading the manuscripts I recently acquired at Alvonsif. So far I have read: The Red Wall: A History of the Empire by Geront'e E. Mal, Of Eagles and Lions, a study of heraldry by Marthus G. Cro-"

Jeralt quickly waves a hand to stop his son. "Alright! Alright, don't list off your entire personal library. I just worry that you're not giving yourself enough rest. Especially since you've been getting those daydreams"

On top of his son's already existing eccentricities, he has now been having visions of a green-haired girl. Of course, his son gave him a much, much more detailed description than simply "green-haired girl".

Byleth gives a quick, almost imperceptible nod at that. "I apologize, father. In the future I will try not to worry you as much as I have"

Jeralt didn't feel reassured.

"Ugh, sure. Anyways, you're all ready to leave right? It's a long way to the kingdom and I don't want any major delays."

Another nod. "I have adequately prepared myself for the journey, father."

"Heh, sometimes I wonder why I ask. You're always prompt for these things with your uh... internal chromowatsit-"

"Internal Chronometer."

"Yeah. That." Sometimes Jeralt worries about what comes out of his boy's mouth sometimes. "Let's get a move on then-"

They were interrupted by a fellow mercenary in silver armor.

"Jeralt! Sir! Sorry to barge in, but your presence is needed"

Jeralt had a bad feeling in his gut

Edelgard, Dimitri, and Claude had certain expectations for their defense against the bandits. Before when they had been separated from the knights of Seiros, they knew a direct confrontation against the surprisingly sizeable bandit gang would yield slim odds for them even if they worked together- something Claude was quick to realize. Hence his "tactical" retreat.

Even with the help of the nearby mercenaries, they knew it would be foolish to assume the odds were truly in their favor. It would only take one single slip up for their head to end up on a silver platter. They expected it to be a tough, dangerous fight that would put all their battle skills to the test.

They did not expect a green-haired man to unleash hell on their opponents.

The vicious sound of bending metal rang across the battlefield as the man gripped the sword of a bandit who tried to attack him, bending the sword into a useless stick of metal and tossing it on the ground with the others.

"E-E-EYAAAAARGH!" The bandit squealed and fled like many before him.

Edelgard tried to focus on her own battles against the bandits but she was truly enraptured by the carnage being wrought by this unknown man. Nothing seemed to hurt him, any bandit that he didn't take the weapon of first would end up only smashing their weapon against as if they were using wooden training weapons.

Two more bandits tried to gang up on him when Edelgard noticed something on the edge of her vision: an archer cocking his bow and aiming at the man. She opened her mouth to warn him on reflex, not thinking if the arrow would really hurt him.

"Watch ou-"

The arrow was loosed and her breath caught. Like she should have expected the arrow did not hurt the man, but she did not expect what had just happened.

He had caught the arrow in his hand as if he was playing a game of catch on the battlefield. Just as swiftly as he caught it, he stabbed it between the ribs of one of the bandits attacking him. As the first bandit grunted and fell he used his sword- Edelgard wondered how many times he actually used it in this battle- to finish off the second.

She was broken out of her thoughts by a low whistle next to her.

"I'd chastise you for getting distracted, but honestly? This dude is just something else." Claude quipped as he jogged up next to her.

She scoffed at him and refocused her attention onto the man once more.

He was scanning the area, shifting his eyes, looking for something- ah, the archer from earlier. He locked eyes at the archer's general direction before bending down to grab one of the fallen bandit's axes. He gripped it with both his hands and hoisted it over his head-

"Hey, what's he do-"

-and whirling it through the air with a mighty throw, making it spin like a pinwheel as it cleaved the air towards its gory destination-

"AAAGH"

-the head of the enemy archer.

Claude blinked, opened his mouth, then closed it, then opened it again but nothing came out. Leaving even Claude momentarily speechless, something Edelgard had rarely witnessed, was there nothing this man couldn't do?

He eventually found his voice. "Okay, that one definitely deserved the whistle more."

Edelgard nodded dumbly before beginning to stride over to their mysterious rescuer. She made it several paces before a disturbingly close yell caught her attention.

"YOU DAMNED IDIOTS! FOCUS ON OUR TARGETS, NOT SOME FORESTY WEIRDO!"

The bandit leader, larger and stockier than the others, rushed straight at her brandishing an axe in his hand raised over his head. She was caught off guard and instead of brandishing her own axe she pulled out her personal dagger.

She immediately cursed her spur of the moment decision, her dagger would be near useless in this situation, she could barely block with it. She'd just have to pray that she could dodge the swing or get in a hit to stun him.

She then felt a strong hand shove her out of the way. Being shoved into the dirt had never felt so good before.

The mystery man stood before the bandit leader, gripping the wooden pole just below the axehead. The bandit leader snarled and sneered at the man, as if by sheer willpower he could break the grip. Something would break though, and it was not going to be the man's grip.

With the sound of snapping and crackling wood, the pole of the axe shattered beneath the man's grip.

The bandit leader's eyes widened and his mouth gaped like a salmon that had overshot and leapt onto land.

"I apologize for breaking your axe, but I must ask that you end your pursuit."

Edelgard blinked at the voice. She didn't expect him to sound so... polite? Deadpan?

The bandit leader grit his teeth in anger. He opened his mouth to give off what would probably be a massive tirade of swears.

"The knights of Seiros are here!"

A tirade that would have to be turned into a nice and tidy: "DAMMIT ALL! RETREEEEAT!"

The leader immediately took off along with what little scraps of the initial group hadn't already fled.

"Hey, the thieves are running away! Go after them!" The mustachioed newcomer, Alois, sent the knights to trail after the fleeing bandits before turning to address the group. At some point, they- Edelgard, Claude, Dimitri, the mystery man, and the lead mercenary- had come together.

He grinned as he reunited with his charges. "I am glad to see that none of you have been harmed." He turned to the two mercenaries, and blinked in recognition at one of them. "...Captain Jeralt?! My goodness, it's been ages since we've seen one another!" He practically bounded towards the unenthused mercenary captain.

Jeralt pulled a hand over his face and gave out a sigh that put any other sigh he uttered in his trials "raising" his son to shame.

"Hello... Alois. I see you haven't changed. I'd love to stay chat but my boy and I here have some very important mercenary stuff to do. Can't keep the customer waiting and all that, you know how it is." Jeralt prayed that Alois would fall for that kind of excuse like he normally did.

Alois frowned as his eyes swooped downward. "Right... Good-bye, Captain"

Jeralt decided that perhaps he should put time for church back into his schedule.

Alois blinked and shot his eyes back up. "Wait! That isn't how this ends. I insist you return to the monastery with me!"

Then again it seemed like his schedule was gonna get a lot busier.

Jeralt let out another sigh as his past finally catches up with him. "Garreg Mach Monastery huh? I guess it really was inevitable"

Alois turns to Byleth who had been silent this entire time. "How about you, kid? Are you the captain's child"

Byleth nods. "Your assumption would be correct, captain Alois"

"'That assumption would be corr-' Hohoho, such a vocabulary this kid has! And polite to boot! Did he pick it up from the mum or are you a secret poet, captain?" He chuckles before addressing Byleth again. "I'd love for you to see the monastery too. You will join me, won't you?"

Byleth cocks his head. "I am unsure, captain Alois. While I have never seen the monastery before, thus piquing my interest, my father and I had prior plans. We were to meet a client in the kingdom of Faerghus, to miss out on that would be 'bad for business' as they say."

Jeralt let out a third sigh. "It's fine, Byleth. I have a feeling mercenary work is gonna be put on hold for a while."

"Then it's settled! Come along captain. We have years worth of catching up to do!" Alois beckoned Jeralt to follow, which he did, albeit reluctantly.

This left Byleth alone with three young heirs who have been trying to keep their excitement for finally talking to their mystery merc under wraps will the captains talked. Now they could let it all loose.

However each of them gave a quick look to the other, and a silent understanding was met. If any of them pitched recruitment then the other two would surely be fast to counter. Thus they would have to wait for the perfect moment to strike.

Edelgard cleared her throat and addressed him first. "I deeply thank you for your help. Your skill in taking out those bandits was... incredible, beyond question. You are obviously an incredibly experienced mercenary. Along with that, your father is Jeralt, the Blade Breaker. Former captain of the knights of Seiros, often lauded as the strongest knight to live." She paused. "Have I missed anything?"

Byleth blinked and cocked his head. "You will have to be more specific, as to my knowledge you have known my father for a time that is, compared to mine, very short. So there is a multitude of events that you have 'missed'. I apologize if this is the wrong assumption, but I believe you do not want a complete recitation of my time spent with my father, Jeralt, starting from the time he took me in." Edelgard was lucky. If she had said that a few years earlier then Byleth would be giving a complete play-by-play of Jeralt's life with him.

Edelgard blinked as a bead of sweat ran down her forehead. She had no idea he would take her rhetorical question so literally. She was unsure of how to respond as her companions surely internally smiled at her unforeseen blunder.

Claude decided to step in. "Hey! You are coming with us to the monastery, right? Of course you are. I'd love to bend your ear while we travel"

Byleth's eyes widened slightly and he took a half step back. "Excuse me, have I done something to offend you?"

Claude blinked a few times before waving his hands in front of him. "What? No of course not! What makes you say that?"

"The action of bending my ear would, from your perspective, cause me a great deal of discomfort, possibly even pain, depending on the length of our trip."

Edelgard gives a small nod and strokes her chin thoughtfully. So he might be like Petra...

Claude stammered a little, ignoring Edelgard's smirk as he runs into a similar blunder. "Nonononono! It's a metaphor. You know, for like chatting and telling you stories. That kind of thing"

Byleth raises his brows a few degrees. "Ah! I see, a figure of speech in which a word or phrase is applied to an object or action to which it is not literally applicable. I apologize, I experience difficulties at times with the concept. However, even if you did wish to bend my ear literally, you would find the structure quite firm."

Dimitri steps in before Claude can sidetrack them further. "In any case, forgive Claude's digression. I must speak with you, if you can spare a moment. The way you fought of those bandits and held your ground against their leader... captivating, to put it lightly! You never lost control of the situation nor did you show any fear, not that you had any reason to with strength like yours." He sighs. "I have so much to learn."

Edelgard pounces on Dimitri's momentary lapse. "Your skill, strength, and whatever grants you such unnatural defense is precisely why I must ask you- no, plead with you to lend your services to the empire. I am no mere student, I am also the Adrestian Empire's-"

But Dimitri will not give up his lead so easily. "Halt, Edelgard. Please allow me to finish my own proposition" He turns to Byleth. "The Holy Kingdom of Faerghus needs exceptional individuals such as yourself. Please, do consider returning to the Kingdom with me."

Claude pipes in to make his piece heard. "Whoa, there! You two sure are hasty. Trying to recruit someone you just met. Tactless, really. Although I can't say I blame you two. With tricks like those, this guy would be a great addition to any kingdom." He shrugs his shoulders. "I was personally planning to develop a deep and lasting friendship on our journey back from the monastery before begging for favors."

Edelgard snorts. "Perhaps by 'bending his ear' as you suggested."

He grimaces at that before recovering. "I'm sorry, would you have preferred he regale to you his time being raised by Jeralt?"

Her eye gives a slight twitch.

Claude resumes. "Anyways incredibly-capable-to-an-almost-disturbing-degree stranger, where does your allegiance lie?"

All three of them looked expectantly at Byleth.

Byleth gives it some thought before responding. "I apologize if this disappoints any of you, but I was taken in by my father and mother at a formerly unclaimed stretch of land between the Kingdom of Faerghus and the Adrestian Empire. After that point in time there have been several debates as to which side owns the land that has not yet been decided. However, I have not made any personal allegiance to any of the three major factions at this time." He did not care strongly for any of the three at the time.

Claude nods. "Ooooooh okay, so that means all three of us get a fair shake at impressing you. Just warning you now, I don't intend to lose."

Edelgard clenches her fist in determination. "Neither do I."

Dimitri nods in agreement. "Or I."

Byleth simply blinks at their declarations. "I do not see how shaking me, even if vigorously, will make me wish to pledge allegiance to your respective factions."

Before the heirs could try to get their point across better, they were interrupted by Alois.

"Alright, that's enough small talk. It's high time for us to head back to the monastery!"

And so the group headed on towards the monastery. Knowing little of what was to come.