Setting: Last Scene of the first Episode named "City Of." First
conversation warped from that scene.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Hell, I don't even own the shoes I'm wearing now.
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Angel hung up the phone as soon as he heard her voice. He didn't know he'd called her in the first place. Maybe he needed to hear her, to remember why he couldn't love someone. He could only hurt people. Loving people hurt them when you couldn't be with them. Allowing himself to love was against the rules. Sometimes he just needed a reminder.
And suddenly he was there, "What happened to Russell?"
Angel looked up, "He went into the light." He said in a tired manner.
"And yet you don't seem to be in a celebrating mood." Said Doyle confused by the man, wasn't this what he wanted to help people? Wasn't this why he, Doyle, was there?
"I killed a vampire. I didn't help anybody." Said Angel filled with self loathing.
"Are you sure about that? Because there is a girl upstairs that's as happy as can be." he asked with a smile. "I know you didn't save Tina." He said sitting down next to Angel sounding suddenly more serious. "But think of the countless, faceless girls you have saved by getting him gone. And hell, in a way you saved me because at least the mind breaking vision wasn't for nothing. You've doing something here, you're the champion of light, man. That must be worth something to you."
"Do they hurt?" he asked apropos seemingly to nothing, "The visions." He added seeing the confused look on Doyle's face.
"Only when I know I've failed to fix them." Said Doyle softly, pensively.
"You said the visions were you penance, what do you have to atone for?" asked Angel watching the very innocent boy in front of him. Sure he was world wise but pure and noble none the less.
"I'd rather not say." Said Doyle as though he was about to cry, "I'm not a good man. I don't deserve atonement."
"And I do?"
"That was your demon. I-" started Doyle but Angel interrupted him.
"And that makes it ok? What's to say even that it wasn't your demon," he said becoming self-righteous on the boy's behalf. "Why do you deserve that?"
"It made me realize pathetic, ridiculous, disgusting, and absolutely true things about myself that I never wanted to know. And it's made me a better man than I was, not much, but a little." Angel just shook his head. "By the way, while you were out The PTB left a message. They wanted you to know that Willow never meant it as a curse, she felt nothing but love, and so the outcome was just that. . . they thought you would get it. Do you get it?" he asked.
Angel blinked for a moment in shock and said, "Wow. Wow. Are you sure?"
"Pretty damn positive, man." Said Doyle not adding that the message was shown with vivid scenes from his and Angel's future. Why spoil the process? "Goodnight, Angel man, I'll see you in five to six hours for another fun filled day of eveil fighting." He said stressing the word evil like in all those old horror films.
Then suddenly with vampiric speed Angel grabbed him and kissed him full on the lips in a bruising manner. Letting the boy go only when Doyle's need for air went to a dangerous place. "Are you sure?" he asked again but with a total different meaning.
"Positive" said Doyle with a slight cock of his head. So much for the process.
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A/N- continue? One off? You tell me.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Hell, I don't even own the shoes I'm wearing now.
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Angel hung up the phone as soon as he heard her voice. He didn't know he'd called her in the first place. Maybe he needed to hear her, to remember why he couldn't love someone. He could only hurt people. Loving people hurt them when you couldn't be with them. Allowing himself to love was against the rules. Sometimes he just needed a reminder.
And suddenly he was there, "What happened to Russell?"
Angel looked up, "He went into the light." He said in a tired manner.
"And yet you don't seem to be in a celebrating mood." Said Doyle confused by the man, wasn't this what he wanted to help people? Wasn't this why he, Doyle, was there?
"I killed a vampire. I didn't help anybody." Said Angel filled with self loathing.
"Are you sure about that? Because there is a girl upstairs that's as happy as can be." he asked with a smile. "I know you didn't save Tina." He said sitting down next to Angel sounding suddenly more serious. "But think of the countless, faceless girls you have saved by getting him gone. And hell, in a way you saved me because at least the mind breaking vision wasn't for nothing. You've doing something here, you're the champion of light, man. That must be worth something to you."
"Do they hurt?" he asked apropos seemingly to nothing, "The visions." He added seeing the confused look on Doyle's face.
"Only when I know I've failed to fix them." Said Doyle softly, pensively.
"You said the visions were you penance, what do you have to atone for?" asked Angel watching the very innocent boy in front of him. Sure he was world wise but pure and noble none the less.
"I'd rather not say." Said Doyle as though he was about to cry, "I'm not a good man. I don't deserve atonement."
"And I do?"
"That was your demon. I-" started Doyle but Angel interrupted him.
"And that makes it ok? What's to say even that it wasn't your demon," he said becoming self-righteous on the boy's behalf. "Why do you deserve that?"
"It made me realize pathetic, ridiculous, disgusting, and absolutely true things about myself that I never wanted to know. And it's made me a better man than I was, not much, but a little." Angel just shook his head. "By the way, while you were out The PTB left a message. They wanted you to know that Willow never meant it as a curse, she felt nothing but love, and so the outcome was just that. . . they thought you would get it. Do you get it?" he asked.
Angel blinked for a moment in shock and said, "Wow. Wow. Are you sure?"
"Pretty damn positive, man." Said Doyle not adding that the message was shown with vivid scenes from his and Angel's future. Why spoil the process? "Goodnight, Angel man, I'll see you in five to six hours for another fun filled day of eveil fighting." He said stressing the word evil like in all those old horror films.
Then suddenly with vampiric speed Angel grabbed him and kissed him full on the lips in a bruising manner. Letting the boy go only when Doyle's need for air went to a dangerous place. "Are you sure?" he asked again but with a total different meaning.
"Positive" said Doyle with a slight cock of his head. So much for the process.
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A/N- continue? One off? You tell me.