I'm starting to think there were two switches flipped at the same time.

... What am I doing? Why am I talking to myself as if someone was listening to me? Perhaps it's due to circumstances far beyond my control that I've lost all ability to speak and express human language outside my thoughts. Suddenly losing the ability to speak has been... debilitating in ways I haven't expect in such a short period. I wouldn't be surprised at the rate I'm going, I would have a mental break down if I haven't already gone insane from my lack of speech, let alone the myriad of other circumstances that plague me currently.

Still, since all I have left are my thoughts, I might as well pretend to share them. At least to talk to myself, lest I truly lose what's left of my sanity if it's not already long broken and gone.

I will introduce myself: my name is Archie Burke. Born and raised in Kingston, England. If my speech sounds more formal than usual, that may simply because my mum always fancied speaking higher class than we were. Thought it was fun, she did. Not that we did anything to stop her. If anything, I'm grateful for me dear old mum for making me secretly amazing at scrabble due to my larger vocabulary among my peers.

I was—am a huge fan of Nintendo—grew up with them as a boy.

One of the games I had just ordered was Fire Emblem: Three Houses. It was—is a game that I was rather looking forward to playing. I imagined myself playing whichever side struck my fancy and then enjoying what it had to offer.

But something rather odd happened. First let me explain that my house is a little different in design, my room, in particular, has a wall switch that puts on the current of electricity of said room. Example: if I'm feeling particularly sloth-like, I can hit this switch and put off all of my electrical appliances without having to go and switch off every single one of them. The opposite is true if I want all of them on.

This fact is important because as I placed in the game and Nintendo Switch, I had forgotten that I had put it off previously and hadn't put it back on since.

I went up to simply press the other switch, but when I did, I swore I heard something. It sounded like there was a second, louder, but foreign, switch being flipped that was overlapping with the sound of my own. I checked briefly the others in my house, seeing the rest of my family doing what they've always been doing, but not spotting a sign of that second switch noise.

I should have been more cautious about that. Alas, I was far too excited to play to think much more about that. It may have been nothing, but I can't help but keep repeating that moment over and over. Something was off about it, and I should have acted sooner about it!

But that did not happen.

I went in front of my TV and activated the Nintendo Switch.

Then... darkness.

The first thought that came to mind was some kind of blackout. But there was a problem with that first assumption, it was still four PM and the sun was actually out that day. This darkness was so pitch black, I could've been fooled into thinking I was blind. And if that was bad, in one bloody second later, I found myself unable to move or feel any part of my body.

My mind jumped to the conclusion that I had somehow died. That there was some mistake in the switch this time and my electronics exploded in front of me faster than I could blink.

If you thought my mind is overthinking now, the moments after I assumed I died were some of the most torturous milliseconds of my lif— ...my... afterlife? Hmm, a rather interesting technicality if nothing else.

I won't bore you with the storm that was my thoughts because in what I think was ten seconds of death and darkness, I then saw a light.

I also won't bore you with my thoughts after seeing the light in the distance, just know that I was hoping Heaven was real and I wasn't going to see Hell.

As the light died down, my first thought was that Heaven had far more trees than I expected it to have. The next thought was that angels are some uglier bastards than I thought they'd be. Around the third and fourth realization, my mind was telling me I wasn't in Heaven, and I clearly wasn't in Hell.

The ugly angels, on further inspection, were ugly humans. Though, they were armed and seemed to be wearing medieval get up. I was also moving even though I wasn't actually moving. The reason for that paradoxical statement was that I found out I was trapped in some carriage cage, or jail wagon made of thick wood and they were carrying me somewhere.

Finally snapped out of my stupor. I demanded of them, "Hey! What's going on!?"

That is what I said. What came out was, "Bark! Bark!"

"Hey! Shut up in there! I told ya we should have put a muzzle on it before it woke up."

... It was then that I realized I was so focused on what was around me that I neglected to look at my self. For one, I noticed that my nose was much longer than I remembered having. Next was the fact there was silver fur all over my... paws and legs? The lack of opposable thumbs and the appearance of claws made me start to realize that something was horribly amiss.

By chance, there happened to be a blade a little to the right of my cage. The first thing I did was look at its reflection.

Imagine my stunned silence when I saw a silver wolf for my reflection instead of my human face.

I would have stared at the reflection for eternity if not for a bump that made me lose balance—then a searing pain came from my right hind leg. I fell forward with a yelp that did not sound remotely human and noticed that my right hind leg was practically bleeding out and looked like it was the victim of a bear trap. The pain was horrible though, my leg felt like it was killing me.

Of course, I needed this pain along with all of the confusion and bullshitery that's been happening in the past minute! Am I setting records?

I shake my head. As painful as this is, I was never one to sit down and take it. I started learning more about my surroundings and quickly noticed I wasn't the only caged animal these bandits... maybe poachers were transporting. I could see pegasus cages ahead of me, and hear the cries of wyverns behind me. The sight of pegasus and wyverns, along with medieval bandits finally clued me into something rather extraordinary.

Those were parts of the Fire Emblem series, the very game I was about to play. I took a look back at the ugly bandits, who indeed looked like the sorry sort you'd always beat up in the tutorials of these games. And, as much as I didn't want to believe it, along with the fact that I no longer was capable of standing on two feet, my mind was piecing together the possibility that I had just been 'Tron'ed right into the game I was about to play.

...

In the course of fewer than five minutes, I lost my human body, I've been turned into a wolf, been captured and injured by bandits, found out that I'm possibly in the very game I was about to play, and now just realized that these poachers are going to skin me alive or dead for my silver fur.

If I haven't broken records of how fast shit can hit the fan, I definitely have set them.

But I am a stubborn bloke. I'm more pissed off right now than confused, and I'm depending on that rush of adrenaline for any sign of actual escape from... whatever the hell this is...

The chains around my hind legs seem strong. I bet strong enough to clamp down wyverns even. The carriage itself might not be that strong, but even if I were to force the planks off, I wouldn't get far with my injured leg and all these hobknockers around.

I look back to the sword and see my wolf reflection. At the sight of my new body, I realized that I was indeed a wolf. Not in the confirmation sense, mind you, but I remembered that wolves are known to have far sharper senses than that of humans, better stamina and speed in most cases too. There might be something I can use with this new body if I can get it to work the way I want.

My eyes closed as I try to focus my senses. I am overcome with a lot of sensory overloads due to my heightened senses, but I do my best to focus more on it with my life now on the line. My sense of hearing is outstanding, I can ever hear the clanking metal from what I assume is the front of this caravan and that's like a mile away if I'm guessing things right! My smell is amplified greatly, to the point where I can almost smell even a single drop of annoying sweat on the person beside me—ugh. These people smell as nasty as they look.

I practice for a few more seconds with my sense, learning how to hone them a little more and trying to ignore the pain in my hind leg. As I do, I smell and hear something else completely.

There's suddenly a double in the number of human heartbeats. There's also a smell of steel that has far more polish to it than that of the poachers.

Hold on a bloody tick. If I'm reading this right, these new smells and heartbeats... they're all around us and… coming in… closer…

Oh.

Uh oh.

Not even a second before I can prepare myself, I hear someone shouting out, "Now!"

The scream hits my ears louder than I'm used to, and it suddenly becomes worse when a band of armored mercenaries rushes out from behind the trees in a war cry to attack the surprised poachers. All I could hear was metal clashing and screams of death and pain before my nose could only smell blood. It was then my senses caught the sound of wood shattering and soon, the skies were filled with wyverns and Pegasus attempting to escape.

At one point, one of the poachers was knocked into my carriage with such force that it tipped over and broke my floor. Even though I still had shackles, I could move again—as much as I could with a limp and bleeding leg.

But this was the break I needed. I had to escape out of this place yesterday.

That was the plan.

Before I could enact it, I did the exact opposite and froze in my tracks.

Why?

Because I saw her.

It was hard not to know who she was. I saw her on the front cover of the game: the female version of Bylteh, the new avatar of this series. It was unmistakably her: strange cloak, weird get up, and dark green hair? I had seen the picture of both avatars so often before getting this game, I'd be crazed not to recognize her.

I watched her fight off poachers as if they were actors paid to do everything in their power to make the main character look good. These guys weren't paid actors since the blood spilling from their body and their screams of pain sounded far too real, but Bylteh really was that skilled and amazing.

But if she was here, didn't that mean that these men were part of her father's—? My thoughts stopped there. In the distance, I spotted a glint of metal shine behind the trees. My eyes were also much sharper than that of a human, I saw that it was a sniper, wearing get up similar to the poachers drawing an arrow at Byleth who was still fighting off incoming poachers.

The archer strung his arrow back as far as he could. And I long found myself running despite my leg injury.

I ran and ran, faster than I thought I ever thought I could with an injured leg. Adrenaline pumping me as the pain took a back seat. I didn't have time so I pounced right for Bylteh with the intent to push her away.

The thing was, she was still in fight mode before and after I made my leap. She was faster than I expected, and moved her blade with enough skill to slash me across the torso…

… but not fast enough to me to push her with enough force to push her out of the way of the arrow. It's just, the arrow hit the right side of my torso instead of her back.

No amount of adrenaline could stop my new wolf brain from feeling a pain that I could never top. Byleth had stepped away to re-foot herself, but my body just fell to the ground like a ragdoll, a bloody one.

I could barely keep my eyes open as she saw the arrow on my torso and looked to where it had come from.

Then… darkness.

…

…

That was… beyond confusing. Not to mention disappointing as well. I had so many questions as to what had just happened, and it seems like I had none of them answered. Though… I admit, going down saving someone else's life… that's kinda cool, even though I didn't want to. But I suppose it's not a bad way to go.

I'm sure I'm dead this time—wait.

Why am I still in so much pain?

It takes what I think is a second before I see another light—no. I-I think I'm opening my eyes? It takes a second for my eyes to adjust before I realize I'm in a room.

It was nice to know that I was back in my room after that weird dream until I realized, my room looked nothing like the room I was seeing. There was a severe lack of electronics and air conditioning in the room.

I was on a bed this time, but it felt considerably bigger than my regular one. I checked to see that I had bandages over my leg and torso. And to my right, I spotted someone sitting beside the bed looking at me with large, violet-colored eyes and green hair.

"Oh, he's awake is he?" To Byleth's right, I spotted Jeralt, her father, as told in some of the trailers of the game. He's a massive man, even more so than I expected to be. "Well, it looks like he's just going to be all right since the worst of it's already over. Tougher than he looks if he's survived all of that."

I realize something. Did these two save my life after all?

I make a few whining noises, even though I wasn't aware I was.

"Thank you," Bylteh speaks up for the first time, and I wasn't really expecting that type of voice from her. "For saving my life."

I can't even find the strength to open my mouth. Did I save her life? She also just did the same for me.

"You can calm down," Jeralt speaks up again. "We won't hurt you. Just consider this thanks for your help in our mission earlier. Didn't expect things to get so bad as they did."

I seem to whine again. Even trying to make a sound hurts my whole body still.

At that point, I felt a warm hand on my head. It seemed like Byleth was petting me to somehow ease me.

"Go to sleep. Rest."

I didn't need to be told twice. Not that I had the strength to refuse.

Remire Village. That's where I currently am.

It has been a week with the, and I found this out by utter chance, Eisner family. My wounds are mostly healed thanks to healing magic. Fancy that, real magic. On one hand, I'm glad at how fast I've been healed. On the other, I know that it can also be used against me and will be used against me without hesitation. I am not looking forward to dealing with weaponized spontaneous combustion.

While healing, I've been trying to find out as much information as I can.

I learned about a similar but different named calendar system, the baker of this town is a cheapskate and has a gambling addiction, I go into a random frenzy against squirrels for some reason, and last but certainly most annoying, I can no longer read.

I found out everyone here uses a different written language even though I can hear what everyone is speaking.

So adding on to the list of horrible things: I lost my body, I'm trapped in a wolf's body, got trapped in my video game's world, almost died not even an hour in said world, and found out I can't read books anymore.

… At this point, I'm wondering if I've gotten so insane that I went back to being sane, then back again to sane. I can in no way make this stuff up.

It doesn't help that I've had nothing to go on as to why and how I'm here in the first place. My best source to explain something like this is media, and fan fiction. While I, myself, am an avid nerd and fan, one learns very quickly not to trust fan fiction because its makers are never really… stable…

This is far beyond my wit's end. There is at least some peace I have with simply walking around the village. Some of the villagers are still wary of me even though the kids, mainly boys, think I'm pretty cool.

Things could be worse, even though in the back of my mind, I know things will get worse considering I saw a few seconds of the time skip and not a single way as to how that came to be.

It's almost amazing how much they're stacking the odds against me.

I end my walk early and head back towards the current residence of the Eisner family. Long before I reach there, I've already heard the sounds of a mock battle between wooden blades. By the time I turn the corner to their backyard, I spotted Byleth knocking down a mercenary with little effort.

Jeralt walks up to the man and offers a hand to pull him up. As he does with little effort, he tells the soldier, "Your footing needs a lot of work."

Byleth walks out of the practice field and spots me walking up to her. My body starts acting as start panting like a dog with my tongue out and my tail wags. She walks over after putting aside the training blade and pets my head.

In the past week, I think I've pretty much become Byleth's pet. It's degrading as heck, but at the same time, it is nice to have your wolf ear scratched by a beautiful woman.

"Alright!" Jeralt screams to get everyone's attention. "We're going to practice battalion runs. Everyone get ready to perform drills outside the village."

Byleth stops what she's doing and ends up following her father and the others, leaving me alone here in the training field.

While alone, a rather curious thought occurs to me. The dangers of this world are indeed numerous now that I'm inside it instead of playing it behind the safety of my screen, but this also means I might be able to fight in their rules.

Basically, what if I learn to fight with a weapon? I know I am a wolf and the idea is there to pounce on someone and bite their neck off. But even though I think I can do that, I don't want to learn how to kill people that brutally.

Heck, I don't want to kill people at all. I lived in a world where I don't need to kill to survive. Fire Emblem: Three Houses is definitely not a world like my own. The killing part, I can try to figure out more about that later even though no matter how much I prepare myself, it's going to be traumatic. The combat part is something I must address now before something else happens.

I happen to spot a dropped training blade and pick it up with my mouth. I taste wood but try to grip the handle so it wouldn't break under my jaw. I am aware of the references that I'm now copying to survive, but this still feels so impractical.

But it's either fight with a sword or bite everything that moves. I may be a wolf and may have more dog instincts overcome me more often than I'd like, but I do not like the idea of bitting every enemy's neck in the off chance they might have the plague in them.

I stalk towards a wooden dummy and get into a running position with the training blade. Then I run—I end up running too fast and trip over my own feet trying to rebalance the blade. I didn't even try to attack the dummy yet!

There's no way I can do this.

It's too bad I'm stubborn. I reposition myself, glared at the inanimate object, then bolt for it sword in the jaw once more.

Jeralt didn't know why many of the villages were crowded around his house, but there they all were, watching something in their training yard to the point where no one seemed to notice any of their return.

"Hey what's going on here?" He asked for the first time but no one seemed to hear him. he asked a second time, a bit louder, before people started to notice him and his mercenaries.

"Oh, Captain Jeralt!" One of the villagers spoke as if he had just teleported in front of them without warning. "You're back already?"

"Why is everyone gathering around my backyard?" Jeralt went straight to the point.

Another villager turned and pointed to that backyard. "You won't believe what's happening! It has to do with that silver wolf you picked up!"

Jeralt and then Byleth both walked past the crowd to see what they were all watching.

When they got to the training yard, they couldn't quite believe what they were seeing. Their training yard was littered with broken training blades that snapped at the handle. Their training dummies were torn up and battered. Lastly, they all saw the silver wolf they picked up, running at speed of a blur before jumping and slamming a blade with enough power and speed to tear of the neck of the dummy.

"Well," Jeralt and many others were understandably dumbfounded that a wild animal could use a human weapon. "That's something you don't see every day."

I've been with Jeralt's mercenaries for a little over two months. I've been somewhat of a 'mascot' now for the mercenary group. The group's even had a renown increase due to rumors spreading like wildfire about a group of mercenaries that has a trained wolf on their side.

In those two months, I have indeed helped with quests and missions. Which also means… I have killed people.

I still remember. I also remember how I killed them. I never once found it easy to just… throw away everything I was taught about the sacredness of life. I found out a 'trick' of sorts that makes it somewhat easier, even though killing is wrong even now to me.

But it's not all doom and gloom. I've bonded with the Eisen family. They're great people, even though Byleth isn't all that versed in expressing herself. One thing that annoys me is that these two haven't given me a name yet! They just call me either mutt or wolf!

Those. Are. Not. NAMES!

I can't even write my own name because it's not in their written language! What the heck!?

What's also curious is Byleth's dreams. They've been happening more and more, and I've been overhearing her talk about them to Jeralt. She talks about wars, and a little girl, who I assume to be Sothis, but outside her name and appearance, I don't know much about her.

This time though, something's different. She's talking about it so vividly, even mentioning a throne.

Something in the air changes as she says this. I smell three new smells coming this way, all of them unique.

Three. The name of the game I'm trapped in is Fire Emblem: Three Houses. I have a good guess as to who these three are. Especially as I sense their smells talking to some of the patrol guards.

But it's not just them I sense. What hits my nose is similar to when I first woke up in this world in this new body.

It smells like ugly angels, or as everyone else calls them, 'bandits'.

I tense and growl as I sense beyond the walls. My actions catch Bylteh and Jeralt's attention.

"What's wrong with you?" Jeralt asks before a soldier comes in to tell him about three young people.

This is it. I can feel it in my new body and soul. This is where I was supposed to start playing.

My game's been switched on.

A/N: Sooo... I know self-inserts are done to death. But I just thought I wanted to try something gimmicky like this after jumping the bandwagon and playing the game. Though how this works depends on how this story is received.

I love to write and this idea just seemed like a lot of fun. I hope you guys got a smile from it too.

Edit: … What. The. Feliz Navidad?! Why the heck is this story so well received not even a week in!? Where did all of you come from!? I had to rewrite this whole chapter after finding out how half-assed I made this because I thought no one would read this!

W-What!? WHAT!? I just… WHAT!?

Well, uh, I'm currently rewriting the draft for the next chapter, but for now, I guess I could leave you guys with a new extra besides the first one.

Extra: Hormones are a bitch.

I'm not going to lie, I think female Byleth is hot. Granted that's a large portion of appeal in Fire Emblem, the attractive medieval anime men and women.

But there is a problem with this. I'm a wolf.

More on to that: Byleth thinks I'm her pet. Adding more on to that: I do act like her pet and make no effort to think otherwise. So there lies the crux of my problem, she doesn't see me as a person and I've given her no reason to distrust outside my weird docile behavior and usage of human tools. The reason why this is a problem is that when she's alone with me, she has no problem stripping from her clothes to change when she needs to!

Damnit! I'm a lonely gamer boy, and even in a wolf's body, I still find Byleth attractive. But I refuse to perv on her! Why? Because me mum and father can make eternal hell look like heaven if they ever found out I treated a woman poorly. You would think, now that I'm a freaking world away from them, I shouldn't be scared of them.

You underestimate my parents. Somehow, someway, if I do return they're going to know I broke their rules if I did. Call me a coward all you want, I am not reliving the nightmare my sister made for herself when she snuck out of the house to go to a party with friends our parents didn't know.

Uggghhhh! My parents are freaking creative in their punishments!

"Is something wrong? You've been whining for some time."

I turn back and see black—before I turn and ram straight into the wall head-first with all my might.

The second before I lose consciousness, I really wish I stopped doing this every time she started stripping in the same room.

Extra Two: Fetch.

Byleth was practicing her swordplay until the training blade she was using snapped in half. She had caught the other piece before it fell, but was feeling a little more annoyed that morning and didn't feel like throwing it away properly.

She tossed the broken wooden blade over her head.

When she did, she felt a movement and a small yelp. She looked behind her to see the wolf had jumped for the thrown 'stick' and caught it in his jaw.

Archie didn't know what compelled him to do that just now. All he saw was Byleth tossing the broken blade and a second later, he realized he was in the air jumping for it.

He really didn't understand how his wolf body could just… act like such a dog sometimes. Especially now that he dropped the blade he caught with his mouth in front of Byleth. Then sat and waited in front of her while his tail wagged and he panted for air.

Byleth showed no signs of immediate emotion but bent her knees to pick up the broken blade.

Archie knew even though she didn't show emotions, she was currently focusing hard on what had just happened.

He hoped to whatever gods up there, he wasn't thinking the same thing as she was.

"Don't do it!" Alas, his words came out as a happy bark, almost as if they were saying the exact opposite of what he meant.

Byleth remained stoic but reclined her hand with the broken half of the blade behind her head as she winded back her hand.

"Fetch!" She yelled as she threw the broken half of the blade higher and longer this time.

Archie screamed in his own mind. As if he was a balloon tied to a shopping cart pushed down a steep cliff, the young man could only yell in his brain while his wolf body sped faster and faster for the thrown piece of wood.

As it started to descend, Archie's wolf body sped faster and then leaped.

"Watch out!" Archie noticed too late that as he jumped, a merchant with a cart full of cabbages had just walked right into his path.

Byleth had her eyes widened when she saw her wolf catch the stick but slam right into the cabbage cart.

"NO! MY CABBAGES!" One could hear dreams shattering by the tone of his voice. The merchant continued to wail as he fell to his knees and tried to pick up some of the smashed vegetables.

He was too engrossed in his sorrow to notice Archie, standing back up from the wreckage, glancing left and right really quick, before silently but quickly walking away from the eerily familiar merchant with the 'stick' in his maw.

Byleth remained stoic even as Archie walked back up to her with the blade still in his mouth. The man inside the wolf was just as… flummoxed… as his current master. They both shared a look.

The green-haired warrior finally spoke out. "Let's… be more careful about that."

Archie could only nod in agreement.