Word Count: 752

Piers hasn't been to a funeral since his parents'. He hadn't cried for them, but he cries now. There is no noise, no commotion; silent tears sting his eyes as they streak his cheeks.

Max is by his side. Piers doesn't know what he would do without his cousin-turned-guardian. Not just in terms of the funeral, but in general. Max saved him, and Piers can't imagine where he would be now it Max hadn't taken him in.

"Let it out," Max says softly, affectionately ruffling Piers' dark hair.

Piers sniffles, wiping his eyes. "It isn't supposed to be like this," he whispers. "Dudley… Dudley is…"

Not is, he thinks, and the realization feels like a blade sinking into his heart. Was. Dudley was.

But Piers can't bring himself to refer to Dudley in the past tense. He refuses to acknowledge that Dudley is gone, not when Dudley has always been so full of life. It is neither right nor fair.

His cousin wraps an arm around him and pulls him close. Piers sniffles again.

He doesn't know what happened. After disappearing for nearly a year, Dudley and his parents came back. Well, they came back physically. None of them seemed the same, but Dudley was the worst. There was something in his blue eyes that bothered Piers. His oldest friend, the boy he knew better than anyone looked haunted, like he could no longer outrun his demons.

Dudley started drinking after that. It had been normal at first. The two of them would hang out and crack open a few beers. They would drink and laughs and talk about life.

But then it happened. Piers doesn't know what it was, but he knows it changed Dudley. The light would diminish from his friend's eyes, and Dudley would go off on some tangent about war and darkness. He would never tell Piers any details, only that he still had nightmares.

Then he would drink a little more. That's when it stopped being fun. Dudley wasn't trying to distract himself; there was something inside of him that he was trying to kill.

In the end, Dudley succeeded. Piers heard his blood alcohol level was off the chart when he stepped into oncoming traffic.

"It isn't right," Piers says. The tears fall more freely now. He can't seem to stop them. All he can do is stand there, trying not to choke.

"We can go home if you'd like," his cousin says.

Good ole Max. His main concern has always been Piers and making sure he's okay. Sometimes Piers thinks he doesn't deserve his cousin.

Piers shakes his head. "I have to say goodbye."

The casket is white with gold accents. Inside, Dudley seems to sleep on a bed of gold satin. Piers wonders if the Dursleys picked it out, and if they knew how much Dudley loved gold. Do they remember the time he fancied himself a rapper and bought gold jewelry. Gordon and Dennis had laughed at him, but Dudley just broke Gordon's nose, and that was the end of it.

Piers rests his hand on the casket, his thumb rubbing against the metal lining and leaving oily smears on the gold. "Heya, Big D," he says.

For a moment, he imagines Dudley might open his eyes and grin. That would be so like him. He would get a good laugh out of it and tell Piers how stupid he looks, how ridiculous they all are for believing he's dead.

But Dudley doesn't move. As much as Piers wishes otherwise, Dudley will never move again.

"You were always like a brother to me, mate. But you already knew that, didn't you?" He smiles in spite of the pain. "I… Fuck, Dudley. I dunno what I'm gonna do without you. How can I even try to go on?" He snorts, eyes rolling. "Okay, that was dramatic."

He hears footsteps behind him. Others are lining up, waiting for their turn. Piers wants to tell them to piss off.

Instead, he reaches in and pats Dudley's chest. "Rest easy, Big D."

Max is waiting for him. Piers wraps his arms around his cousin, sobbing. "Will it ever get better?"

"Eventually," Max assures him. "For now, all you can do is take it one day at a time."

Piers doesn't know how he's going to do that. The world is so bloody heavy, and he thinks he might suffocate. But he will try. All he can do is carry on, knowing Max will never let him down.