Author's Note: This story is my way of venting after a bad break, so Ben may be a bit OOC.

Nobody Knows…Until They Do

Benjamin Tennyson walked into a smoky bar and sighed as the haze swirled around him but seemed to part for him as if the air itself could feel the twenty-one year old's pain and did not want to upset him further. As Ben looked around, his tired eyes spotted the bartender. Ben was never much for drinking, but it sounded very tempting right now. With his mind racing and his heart shattered, it seemed like a good idea. Once he sat at the bar, Ben waved over the bartender. Her chocolate brown eyes, tan skin, and black hair reminded the hero of when he was in this area as a ten year old. That wasn't a fun time for his heart either.

Ironic… Ben thought before he opened his mouth. "Ma'am? Jim Bean and leave the bottle."

The bartender raised an eyebrow at Ben's request but did as she was asked. With the bottle in front of him, Ben stared at it and the companion shot glass for a few minutes as the bartender continued filling orders and giving Ben an odd glance every once in a while. Then, as Ben continued to fight himself over the drink, lyrics came over the speakers that stabbed at him.

I pretend that I'm glad you went away

But these four walls close in more every day

And I'm dying inside and nobody knows it but me

Ben saw himself in the backseat of Kevin's car, mildly watching as every mission brought them closer. I'm yours and you're mine. Ben thought in protest, louder and louder in his mind, but he never spoke up.

Like a clown I put on a show,

The pain is real even if nobody knows

And I'm crying inside and nobody knows it but me.

Zombozo flashed into Ben's mind at the mention of a clown. Old rage filled him as he remembered Gwen mindlessly laughing as Zombozo fed on her. Then, the scene changed, Ben punched the Wildvine hatch with all his might and sank to his knees quietly sobbing when he realized he failed to save her.

Why didn't I say the things I needed to say?

How could I let my angel get away?

Now my world is just a-tumblin' down.

I can say it so clearly but you're nowhere around.

Ben's hand gripped the shot glass hard enough that it cracked under the pressure. Then, Ben closed his eyes in an effort to purge his anger. How could I be so damn stupid?!

Ben remembered the first time he saw Gwen after he fought like mad through Vilgax's drones. The happiness he felt then was unparalleled. He actually cried in the comfort of Gwen's arms. He never wanted to leave her arms again, but they had a job to do.

Ben shook his head and glared at the fractured glass, wondering if he should do like he wanted and throw it across the room. Finally, Ben set the glass down gently on the bar as the bartender walked over to him.

"I knew I recognized you, Tennyson."

Ben sat up at the tone of her voice. "Kai?"

The Navajo girl simply nodded. "You know? If you're pissed off at Gwen, I would be the perfect person to help you get back at her."

"We're not ten anymore, you bitch." Ben said in a tone of veiled anger. "So, stop thinking like a brat."

The words of the song continued to play over the speakers.

The night are lonely, the days are so sad

And I just keep thinkin' about the love that we had

And I'm missing you and nobody knows it but me

How blue can I get, you could ask my heart

Just like a jigsaw puzzle it's been torn all apart

A million words couldn't say just how I feel.

Kai noticed how Ben seemed to breathe in the lyrics and shudder with pain as their meaning sank in. Her lips curled into a mischievous smile. "With the way you're acting, someone stole Gwen away."

Ben gave her a stunned look.

"Come on, Ben!" Kai said with an eye roll. "Gwen destroyed me when I shut you down when we were ten." Kai shivered uncontrollably. "No one gets that vicious unless you stand between a mother and child, or someone hurts your man."

Ben blinked. Then, his confusion turned to hot rage. "If she loved me, WHY DID SHE RUN TO THAT FUCKING PSYCHO?!"

Kai reached for Ben's hand, but the man quickly drew it back and shot Kai a piercing glare. "Easy, Ben." Kai said softly. "I don't know who Gwen ran to, but I can tell you why she ran to him."

Ben shot her an annoyed look. "Alright. I'll bite. Why?"

"She was scared. You made her feel things she knew went beyond family affection." Kai smiled at Ben. "She ran because she loves you, but she's also afraid."

Ben raised an eyebrow. "I call bullshit! She's the bravest-"

Kai silenced Ben by boldly placing her fingers on his lips. "She's afraid because her family, probably her mother, will not accept your relationship as a couple."

Ben opened his mouth to speak but the sound of soft but quick steps and light crying reached his ears as it seemed to cut through the noise of the bar straight to Ben's attention. The man stood and hurried outside at a brisk pace, his black and white formal tux growing dusty as he ran.

To his left, Ben saw the wedding he walked quietly out of about fifteen minutes earlier. The guests stared, not at him but at the bride. Gwen's white dress stained with dirt and tears fluttered in the hot New Mexico wind. Gwen unabashedly tore at it like a tiger trying to rend its cage. When she looked up, Ben saw the shattered eyes of trauma staring back.

"B-Ben!" Gwen croaked.

Ben ran and held Gwen as she shivered in his arms. "What h-happened?"

"Kevin had connections with…Hex, and kept me infatuated with a potent potion."

"Ultimate Kevin, in the Ultimatrix, in the Forge of Cration…" Ben realized.

Gwen nodded. "At those places and points, the potion began to wear off or was weaker because of the locations."

Does that mean that in Legerdemain, Gwen and Charmcaster… Ben shook his head to free himself from his wandering thoughts.

"GWEN! BENJI!"

Ben's eyes widened. "Gwen, can you teleport us away?"

Gwen gave him a small nod as energy enveloped them. "Ben, I can't…take us too far. The potion screwed with my powers."

In a spur of the moment leap of thinking, Ben kissed Gwen and, though it nearly knocked him out to push against the barriers in the Ultimatrix, shared his energies with Gwen, so she could take them to safety back in Bellwood.

As the pair dropped in the living room of Gwen's house, Gwen stared at Ben in shock but didn't break away. "Ben, I-I never knew…"

Ben smiled and held her closer. "Now, you do, Dweeb. I love you."

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