A/N: I know I said it'd be another 2-3 weeks, but (as I mentioned on Twitter), my brain wouldn't let me quit writing and my semester started off slow this first week. It's about to kick my ass, so I can't guarantee the next update will come as quickly, but I appreciate all the love I've received from each of you. Your reviews breathe life into my writer's heart! I'll post little updates about the fic on Twitter (as well as little snippets) so feel free to follow me (thisthatfiction)!

Without further ado, enjoy the chapter. There were moments that I teared up while I was writing, and I hope it translates well as you read.

Chapter 20

Sasuke had bought incense sticks and hanami dango after he left Sakura's apartment the previous night, the imprint of her lips lingering on his even when he awoke in his bed. The playfulness was gone, however, for his heart felt heavy the moment he opened his eyes.

He got dressed slowly, sliding into a gray shirt and black sweatpants, all of which were absent of the Uchiha crest. Before the sleepy sun had a chance to make its appearance above the slumbering Village Hidden in the Leaves, he packed a lighter, two small cleaning brushes, the incense sticks, and the small package of dango into a plastic bag and bounded off towards his family's resting place.

The Uchiha was anxious, to say the least. He'd avoided the site to spare himself of the emotions he'd stifled for years. The emotions weren't something he actively sought to contemplate, as each time he let the dam that held his sorrow crack, it sent a crippling wave of grief into his heart. He learned over time that suppressing it and channeling it into fury was the best method of survival at the time. However, with his anger no longer as visceral as it had been when he first left the village, the realization that he'd need to face his reality head-on left him uneasy.

Sasuke had thought about visiting alone, but he knew that he'd come up with excuses to evade it. He needed an accountability partner. He considered taking Naruto, but something in his gut told him it was time to open his shadowed soul to Sakura's bright light. And, if he were being honest with himself, he wanted her to know more about the history of his family. He wanted to share it with her, but his hesitation was borne from anxiety.

He felt anxiety of judgment. It was a risk, he thought, that knowing of his family's checkered past, some parts hidden while others painted beyond recognition in Konoha's history books, could make her think twice about her involvement with him. He also felt anxiety of pain. He blandly thought he'd experience the physical pain of losing his arm all over again if it meant sparing himself from the gut-wrenching emotional pain he'd worked so hard to store away.

So when he walked up to the stone wall that shielded him from field of memorials dedicated to his clan in the dreamy morning light and saw Saukra's back as she gazed at the sea of his fallen family, he had half a mind to pivot on his heel and rush as far away from the cemetery as he could. He would have if it weren't for the way she sensed his presence and turned to face him, her grass green eyes inviting him closer. Sasuke couldn't find the will to move, neither forwards nor backwards, so he stood frozen ten paces away.

She regarded to him, her expression contemplative.

Sakura looked too vibrant and alive to be near the dead. She wore a loosely fitted white shirt tucked artfully into light denim capris, and her feet were clad in chocolate brown sandals with laces that wrapped snugly around her ankles. A cool breeze caressed her lengthening, petal pink locks that were pulled and tied in a half ponytail while the rest flowed against her shoulders. She let her fringe loose upon her forehead, the strands offering a thin veil to cover the yin seal resting there. In her arms was a small, dainty bouquet of lavender kikyo wrapped carefully in white tissue paper

She didn't belong here.

In the most sincere, non-malicious way, Sasuke knew she didn't belong here.

Sakura belonged with lively laughter and summer blooms. She belonged with joyful songs and the spinning wind. She breathed health into his decaying wounds, literally piecing his body together in a way that made shivers roll down his spine like the first melted streams of spring in a frigid tundra.

And yet, she still came to a place of death and forced goodbyes by choice.

He wasn't sure if he was comforted or disturbed. Emotions swirled in his chest and knocked loudly against the dam he worked to maintain for years. Sasuke felt as though roots had sprung from the soles of his feet and kept him hostage against the cobblestone ground. His grip on the plastic bag in his hand turned his knuckles white. However, he made sure his facial expressions gave nothing of his anxiety away.

She seemed to notice something was off about his demeanor, he realized, as her eyes scanned him up and down in a clinical manner before a warm smile spread across her face. She made her way towards him gracefully.

"Morning, Sasuke-kun," she chimed, her eyes watching him carefully.

"Morning." His eyes fell on the kikyo.

Sakura gave him a mischievous smile. "It helps to have a friend run a flower shop," she said, and he remembered the Yamanaka business. "Ino wasn't too happy about my early arrival, but I didn't want to come empty handed." Then she asked, "How are your bruises?"

"Sore, but fine." He thought about the way he needed to stifle his heartbeat when her hands pressed upon his bare skin the previous night. Part of him wanted to go back to that moment instead of live in the present, relish in the uncomfortable emotions that signaled excitement rather than despair.

"How's your shoulder?"

"No pain," he responded, lifting the remnant of his arm to showcase the evidence.

She assessed him with her eyes one more time. He knew she was feeling for any swirls of built up chakra. Seemingly satisfied, she nodded in the direction of the entrance to his family's resting place and asked, "Ready?"

When Sasuke responded with silence and a furrowed brow, she extended her hand and curled her fingers around the handle of the bag, gently prompting him to release the hold on the plastic. She set the bouquet in the little bundle. With her other hand, she tentatively held his to gather his attention. "If it's too much, you don't have to see them."

It's as if she just knew how much was roiling in his heart.

But how much did she know?

He never bothered to disclose any of the politics surrounding his family to anyone. Naruto, Kakashi, and Yamato had found out from Obito, he'd heard, and only the village elders Koharu and Homura knew of the past. He spared her the details of the personal relationships he shared with family members and opted to tell her stories of his childhood that seemed far more benign. The thought about the breakfast they shared months ago at his family's kotatsu, the way she laughed at his childhood stories. Even those, though, ached his heart when he spoke of them.

Did she know how painful this was for him? Did she know the kind of turmoil that was already building in his chest?

Despite it, her sweet touch grounded him as it always did. There was a steady cadence in her voice that felt deliberate, as though she'd spoken with the intention to lull his body back into the present moment. As much as part of him was relieved to hear her give him permission to back away, he knew this visit was necessary for him. He wanted to heal. He wanted to face it.

For his family.

For his brother.

For himself.

"It's fine," he murmured and led them forward, allowing his fingers to slip away from hers as he guided them towards the humble station of wooden buckets and ladles to clean his parents' grave.

Sakura held two ladles and the bag of supplies as Sasuke filled the pail at one of the spouts nearby, his gaze focused on the image of the water falling and the sound of its buoyant splashes. He shut off the faucet, picked up the bucket, and led them toward the center of the marble pillars.

It was a common D-rank mission to engage in the maintenance of these graves when he and Sakura were genin, as there were far too many for a young boy to do all by himself. He was thankful they never assigned this to Team Seven, though he knew it was the Sandaime's courtesy to him. Sasuke was mildly surprised to see that it was likely still assigned to this day judging by the glossy sheen each of the graves had. He thought that maybe he should have felt more territorial about knowing that strangers were tending to his family's cemetery, but he couldn't find himself to be bothered.

He knew exactly where his parents' grave was despite not having been there in years. It sat as the tallest, palest marble structure with the names Fugaku and Mikoto carved artfully into its surface. Out of all the other graves, the Uchiha crest's engravement was the largest on theirs as head family of the clan. He set the bucket on the ground and sighed heavily, feeling the weight on his shoulders press further into him. He almost bowed in shame.

Father, Mother, he greeted silently. Nii-san.

Then, he turned to Sakura who had just placed the plastic bag gently on the ground. With a single look, they knew to get started.

The two worked in quiet to pick any weeds or stray grasses that surrounded his parents' grave and stacked the little tufts of green in a pile to toss away. Sasuke half-expected his mind to be filled with thoughts and memories of his family when he finally came back to clean their grave. However, it was almost as if he was in a meditative state. The activity of cleaning kept his brain focused on the repetitive task rather than allow it to wander off into the abyss of his sorrows.

After about five minutes of clearing out the weeds, Sakura bunched the unwanted stems into her fists and walked them over to a trash bin near the entrance. "I'll be right back," she murmured before she left, allowing Sasuke a moment alone.

He didn't pray. Not yet. Rather, he let himself study the patterns on the stone and remembered how the pillars seemed much taller five years ago. He could almost see his younger self standing with him and imagined how his eyes must have looked angry. He only visited them in the early mornings when he was in the Academy to avoid the genin who would clean during the day. It was the most peaceful time despite his own harmony having been destroyed. He used to think that he could scream his sorrows before sunrise, as the cemetery was so large and separate from the village hub that no one would have heard him. Each time, though, he would only stand and stare at his parents' names in silence. Even the last day he visited them before they'd graduated was spent without a word.

He wondered what Sakura knew about loss like this. Did she have family buried in Konoha's cemetery? Did she visit during Obon or on anniversaries? He couldn't bring it in himself to ask.

When Sakura returned, she placed a soft hand on his shoulder to signal him that it was time to wash the stone. The sun was beginning to rise a little more over the tree line and provided them with more light to see a thin film of dust and water stains from the recent rains that speckled the marble surfaces. They each grabbed a ladle and a cleaning brush and set to work. They each took one side of the massive structure pouring the clear water over the marble before scrubbing away the imperfections.

It was steady work. It was quiet work.

Every now and then, the pair caught each other's gazes and Sakura would smile at him before they would turn back to their respective sections to continue their task.

Ten minutes passed, for the structure was so large, until they were finally done. Sakura walked over to the plastic bag to pick up the bouquet of kikyo, the incense sticks, and the lighter. When she returned to his side, he was using the ladle to fill up the two thin wells on either side of the structure with water for her to place the flowers. Sasuke then set the ladles, brushes, and bucket aside to take the incense sticks and lighter from the medic while she carefully unwrapped the flowers from the tissue paper.

When Sakura finished, she motioned for him to hand her the lighter. She flicked the little flame to life and brought it to the end of the incense sticks before allowing him to place them in the little holder between the flower wells and below his parents' names.

"Last one," he murmured, turning back to the plastic bag and pulling out the little package of hanami dango. He placed it just in front of the incense sticks as smooth tendrils of smoke rose from their tips.

"Beautiful," Sakura beamed, admiring their work. Then, quietly, she said, "Happy birthday, Itachi-san."

"Ah," Sasuke breathed, fighting the tightening in his throat. "Happy birthday."

Sasuke raised his single hand in prayer, fingers lifted toward the awakening sky and bowed his head. To his right, in the corner of his eye, he saw Sakura do the same with both of her hands. Her eyes were already closed. He followed suit, tentatively allowing his heart to speak its sorrows for the first time in years.

When Sakura lowered her hands a few minutes later, she glanced over at Sasuke. His brows were brought slightly together, a sign of his steady concentration, and his mouth was pressed into a thin line. As more of the sunrise's warm hues bled into the sky, she realized with surprise that his fingers trembled slightly.

The moment she laid her eyes on him when they first arrived, she could see anxiety peeking beneath his calm exterior. The playfulness from the night before was gone. He looked frozen, almost as though he was in the middle of deciding whether he should enter or run. She'd recognized some of those signs on her patients before and knew this would be a difficult experience. She understood the importance of waiting and let him make his decision, never to push him into following through with whatever he resolved to do the previous day. It was his journey of healing, and she was merely honored he chose her to bear witness to these steps.

So, Sakura was surprised when he led the way into the cemetery, a new determination flickering in his mismatched eyes. And watching him now, she admired his strength and fight. There were no dangers around them, no physical threats, but the amount of emotional pain he must have been enduring in that moment to cause his exterior to ripple with breakage must have been great.

Moments later, he brought his hand down limply to his side and opened his eyes. The expression that passed across his features looked exhausted. His shoulders seemed to sag as he exhaled a slow breath. She watched as he appeared to bite the inside of his cheek as he stared blankly at the colorful dango.

They stood together and she waited, careful not to make any startling movements, giving him the space to speak if he so wished to use it. Then, he did.

"He liked sweets."

She couldn't help but smile at that. "Such different tastes between brothers."

He nodded once, allowing another wave of silence to crest over them before speaking again. "We were different from each other. He was more talented. The real prodigy."

Sakura tilted her head in thought. "What do you mean?"

Sasuke seemed to take his time formulating his thoughts before he spoke them aloud, and she knew he was finding the best way to explain himself. "Our father gave him a lot of individualized attention to hone his skills, and they were already sharper than anyone else's. He was the true heir of the Uchiha." His eyes grew to have more life in them. "I resented him for it sometimes."

Her eyes drifted towards Fugaku's name engraved into the marble. She'd seen him a few times in their early childhood. He never smiled and it intimidated her. His mother looked far more amicable, from what Sakura remembered and saw from the photo he'd received from Hiroto. Mikoto was her name. She turned to view Sasuke's profile and studied his aristocratic features, noting silently that he seemed to take after the raven-haired woman more.

"But you loved him," Sakura thought aloud.

"Yes." It looked as though his deep breath took extra effort as he exhaled. "I'd wait for him to come home and beg him to show me things he learned in the Academy, teach, or train me."

"And did he?"

He ran his hand through his raven locks, reminding her of her own attempts at burning anxious energy. "Sometimes. He was busy a lot."

She hummed in understanding. She knew many in the village labeled him as a genius and that he'd joined the ANBU at an early age. The job surely put him in positions that would occupy him for long stretches of time, but she couldn't fathom doing it all as a child. Is that what led him to do what he did? The pressures of everyone around him? She still couldn't piece the history together. The logic wasn't there for her, but she knew she wasn't entitled to the information.

"What was he like?" Sakura asked, genuinely curious.

"Quiet. Kind. Responsible. I had a good childhood with him. He was everything I wanted to be. He was strong, intelligent, and a pacifist." He took what looked to be a grounding breath before continuing. "I told him he could be Hokage and that I'd work in the Military Police force. I wanted to work alongside him and support him somehow."

While hearing his memories of his brother brought warmth to her heart, Sakura frowned in confusion. This wasn't the Itachi she learned to know. It was taboo to speak of him in the village, but the rumors that circulated were that he was ruthless, rageful, and dangerous. She thought about how the man had tortured Sasuke with genjutsu when he'd come to kidnap Naruto years ago, providing her with evidence of how cold-hearted he must have been. How in the world did Itachi go from kind to killer?

Sasuke seemed to notice her buzzing puzzlement. His hand tightened into a fist and she wasn't sure what to make of it. His voice was tight. "Nii-san was only violent when he had to be."

It just wasn't piecing together. She knew that he was trying to send a message beneath the message, but it wasn't clicking for her.

Sakura understood that he loved Itachi. She didn't need her own sibling to empathize with that. She knew that Sasuke's love for his brother transcended all the things he did to him and their family. She knew that his love and hatred for his brother made for a complicated relationship. What she didn't know is how his fury against Itachi when they were genin transformed into such open, honest love and admiration.

"I…I don't understand," she admitted.

He swallowed hard and took another grounding breath as he relaxed his hand, his gaze hyper-focused on the burning incense. "What I'm about to tell you," he prefaced slowly, a slight tremor in his voice, "might change the way you look at me. My family's history is tied with who I am." She watched as he clenched and unclenched his jaw. "And…you don't have to listen to it if you don't want to."

"Is it something you want me to hear?" she asked, studying his pained expression. They let a heavy silence hover over them for a moment.

"Yes."

"Then I'll listen," she assured him. "I hear…I hear fear in your voice. You can correct me if I'm wrong, but it sounds like you think I won't want to be around you once you tell me."

He confirmed her thought with silence.

"I'm not going anywhere, Sasuke-kun."

His eyes flickered in her direction before staring ahead again. They seemed to deepen with even more exhaustion. "The Uchiha's history is dark," he began. "Nii-san's part in it has an entire foundation of political movements that weren't of his choosing."

And so, he spoke.

And she listened.

It was a history that was omitted from her history textbooks. It began to make more sense, now, how Black Zetsu's involvement was so woven into their story as it meddled with the reincarnations of Kaguya's sons.

She didn't know of the level animosity between the Uchiha and the Senju, at least not in the way Sasuke described it. She learned of Madara's tragic past, the birth of Konohagakure with the Uchiha's involvement, and the hostility that brewed from their isolation from the rest of the village. She learned of how they were granted the police force without any real ability to lead the village despite their contributions to its creation, how they were mistreated by villagers, how they were deemed outcasts despite having just as much right to be treated as equals. The Kyuubi's attack was the final straw, as the clan was suspected of having arranged the event, and Fugaku and the clan began to plan for a coup d'état to overthrow the Third.

Her heart ached for the Uchiha. Their lives were the orchestra conducted by Black Zetsu's slimy influence. She wished she'd known about this part of history sooner. She wished everyone knew. Perhaps it could have spared his family.

But reality wasn't kind.

Sasuke, almost emotionlessly, went on to explain the last decade of the clan's living days. Itachi, the proclaimed genius of the clan, wanted peace. He worked with another clan member, Shisui, to attempt to make it happen. Peace looked to be impossible, though, after generations of hatred and resentment. He was appointed to serve as part of the ANBU and, because he was expected to answer directly to Sandaime himself, the clan used him as a spy. Itachi, the double-agent, was forced to balance roaring ends of a bitter spectrum.

Within the last few pivotal weeks before the coup d'état was to take place, Shisui died by suicide after being brutally attacked by Danzo, and the pain of losing his closest friend great enough to awaken Itachi's Mangekyou sharingan. Despite the pair's close bond, Itachi was an immediate suspect, and it spurned Itachi's disdain for the clan's values. He was soon promoted to be an ANBU captain and attempted to use his voice to implore the clan to reconsider the coup d'état, but they refused to listen. While the Sandaime attempted to push for negotiations with the clan, the looming reality that this would not yield a solution came into view.

"Nii-san was faced with two options," Sasuke went on, his voice empty. "Danzo's ultimatum: die while fulfilling the clan's wishes and begin another world war or eradicate the Uchiha and save the village. The latter," he continued, "would also permit me to live." There was a thick pause. "Koharu and Homura agreed with Danzo. Hiruzen had no other options. Nii-san made his choice."

"They sentenced your family to death," she whispered, stunned.

Her eyes were locked on the incense as a clump of ash fell from the stick and landed in a powdery heap. Shadows began to take shape as the sun painted the sky with strokes of delicate morning oranges and blues. She wasn't sure how long they'd stood in silence, how long he gave her to process it all.

"Nii-san didn't blame any of them. He wanted to protect everyone, and if there was a solution that allowed it, he would have taken it. They all had the village's interests at heart but could only choose between two evils."

She turned her head to face Sasuke and measure his expression only to see his eyes were blank, clouded by the effort of emotional suppression. His gaze was still trained on the incense, unmoving. He was using his survival reflex, she realized, to get through telling her the story of his family.

How painful Itachi's life must have been. How tired he must have felt. How desperate.

"Who knows?" she asked quietly.

"The elders. Naruto. Kakashi. Yamato. And now, you."

She gauged her emotional state, but she couldn't seem to pinpoint anything. She was…numb. Was this what it was like for Sasuke when he found out? Was he ever given a chance to grieve? Despite her questions, she couldn't form words. She faced forward and stared at the Uchiha crest that stood proudly before them.

She worked to picture Itachi, a thirteen-year-old boy, forced to make a decision that no soul should ever have to face.

It wasn't fair.

It wasn't fucking fair.

Sakura felt tears of sorrow sting at her eyes, now, as the numbness receded to fresh pain. She wished she could reach out to Itachi and rip him away from the burden, tell him it wasn't a child's job to piece a nation together.

She didn't have the energy to raise her hands in prayer, but she hoped it was heard by Itachi somewhere in the universe. I'm so sorry, she thought. You didn't deserve any of it.

She wished she could scold both sides of the fight, scream at them to open their eyes, plead with them to stop.

But she couldn't.

No one could.

The snobbish interaction with the village elders on the steps of the Hokage tower made sense, now. She wondered if they regretted any of their choices. She wondered if they would have changed anything. She wondered, to her horror, if they wished they'd had Itachi execute Sasuke, too, a boy of only seven years old.

How agonizing it must have been to carry this weight. Anyone else would have crumbled beneath it. Anyone else in the world. Sakura knew she wouldn't have been able to carry on, not for long. For him to even have the energy to channel his sorrow into rage was a feat. But the transformation to move from rage back into sorrow…by gods. That was strength.

"I came home late the night it happened."

Her tear-brimmed eyes trailed back to Sasuke to find his expression blank.

"The deeper I walked into the compound, the more bodies I saw."

Sakura turned away and closed her eyes as a stab of anguish went through her heart for him. She pictured young Sasuke wandering through the streets of his home. He should have been able to see his family, should have been able to hear sounds of comfort. Instead, he saw death and heard its silence.

How unfair.

How fucking unfair.

"I ran home to try to find my parents," Sasuke continued, his voice calm. "The house was quiet. I went to the tearoom and knew someone was inside, but I made myself open the doors anyway."

Sakura opened her eyes to stare at her sandaled feet. She wanted to go back in time, wrap Sasuke in her arms, and run. She would have. She would have. Hot tears spilled from her eyes, but she kept her breath steady, forcing herself to listen even as her heart wept in anguish for him.

"My parents were dead. They were on the floor, bloody. It didn't look like they put up a fight against Nii-san." The last word held a tremor in his voice. Sakura looked up without bothering to wipe at her face and froze. Crystal tears fell from his eyes and trailed down in silvery paths down his cheeks. He blinked, his gaze still focused on the incense, but was otherwise unmoving. Had the tears not been there, Sakura would have thought he felt nothing at the words he spoke, but they made it clear. His careful exterior was breaking right in front of her.

He was in excruciating pain.

She reached out, slowly, and curled her fingers around his. She wondered if she was trying to comfort him or if she was seeking comfort. She couldn't tell. He didn't resist her, but part of her wondered if he even felt her skin, as he didn't react to her touch.

I would have taken you away from it, she wanted to say, but no words came out. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry.

His voice lost part of its collected edge and sounded more strained when he spoke again. "Nii-san stood behind them. I tried asking him what was happening, but he just threw a weapon at me and cut my arm. He put me under a genjutsu and made me watch how he killed our family." He swallowed hard and let out a slow breath. "And then I ran."

She felt her tears stream faster down her cheeks as they blurred her vision. Sakura squeezed his fingers weakly and imagined how small his hand must have been.

Seven years old. Only seven.

Seven-year-olds should be able to run to their brothers, not away from them.

Seven-year-olds should be able to come home to love, not fear.

Seven-year-olds should be able to be seven-year-olds.

"He found me and fed me lies that would protect me. I believed them, and they made me mad. I awakened my sharingan and tried to attack him," he chuckled humorlessly, "but he got away. I thought I imagined him crying, but I didn't. He was crying right before he left me on the street."

Sakura shuddered as she pictured him collapse in the middle of the road. It's how they must have found him. Crumpled, broken, forced to know of death's unforgiving robbery of life.

"When I woke up, I was in the hospital. Nii-san was gone. I was alone."

The last word drifted through the air with such sorrowful finality. How long it must have followed him, the veil of loneliness, the pain of isolation. She felt her fingers tremble as they held his limp hand and wondered if he still believed it. I'm here, she wanted to say. We're all here.

Silence.

Heavy, heavy silence wrapped around them as both noiselessly wept.

She watched as his brows furrowed slightly, as his lips parted, as his breaths deepened and quickened. He bowed his head, but his eyes still looked far away. "I understand why it happened," he said, his voice tight, "but it still…"

Sakura didn't release his hand as she stepped in front of him, fresh tears spilling from her eyes. She suddenly found her voice and, though it was small and shaky, spoke loud enough so she knew he heard her. "You are allowed feel."

You're allowed to feel angry.

You're allowed to feel sad.

You're allowed to feel hurt.

He closed his eyes just before his face contorted in pain. With her free hand, Sakura reached up, cradled the back of his neck, and pulled him to rest his head on her shoulder. She felt him stiffen at first, and she reasoned that she wouldn't blame him if he pulled away. A moment later, though, he relaxed and let himself weigh heavier on her as he let out a strangled breath.

Sakura closed her eyes and released a small whimper of a cry in anguish. She released his hand and wrapped it around his back, pressing herself to his chest as though it were the only thing that could hold him together. I want to take it away, she despaired. I want to take the hurt away, but I know I never can.

God, the pain. It clutched her soul, made it feel like it was being skinned and burned. It felt like every part of her spirit was screaming her grief for him as she held him close. His breaths came faster and brushed against her collarbone. She prayed each one brought him closer to release from grief's iron grip.

How long he must have suffered.

How much he must have suffered.

How lonely it must have felt.

Sasuke's hand circled around her back and held her just as tightly, desperately, urgently. She felt his tears seep into the fabric of her shirt as he cried, his sobs quiet and muffled against her. She'd never heard a more tormenting sound. It was the sound of a decade of agony, of stolen goodbyes, of excruciating loss, of a young boy lost.

She wished to cradle young Sasuke in her arms and let him wail until his voice was hoarse, cry until he grew too tired. She wished to comb her fingers through his hair, wipe the tears from his little cheeks, let him feel. Let him feel. She would have held him, shielded him, protected him. No one, no one, no one deserved this. He didn't deserve this. He deserved a life with family, a life with love blooming in every corner.

But she couldn't go back in time, and neither could Sasuke.

So, she did what she could with what she had.

Sakura hugged him tightly and whispered she was sorry. She whispered that she knew it hurt, that he was safe now, that she was there with him, that he didn't have to hide from her. She whispered how long it must have been, how hard it must have been. She whispered it's okay to love them, miss them, yearn for them. And she held him tight. She let his tears fall, his quiet sobs ring, his shield crumble, if only for a little while.

She couldn't heal his heart; she knew this. She knew it was his journey, his path to walk, even if it was one he didn't deserve.

But she would walk with him.

She would walk with him when he'd grow tired. She would walk with him and let him lean on her. She would walk with him when storms threatened to drown his path, when the trails grew treacherous, when he felt lost, when he'd question why he's even walking. She would walk with him for as long as she could, for as long as he wanted her there.

They cleaned up the ashes from the incense after murmuring their final prayers and left the cemetery.

They went to his apartment where he collapsed into sleep and she prepared lunch for when he awoke.

They ate in tentative quiet until she asked to hear stories of Itachi, and she listened.

They napped by the kotatsu, a careful space between them, stirring only to check if the other was still there.

They woke when the sun was drifting below the horizon and shared more stories until the streetlights flickered to life.

She kissed him goodbye-for-now, and he promised to visit the next day.

He didn't sleep until after midnight, until he could wish his brother well until the final second of June ninth.

The day after Itachi's birthday, Sasuke stopped by Sakura's apartment for lunch to deliver leftovers from the day before. His eyes were still puffy, and he looked physically exhausted, which was probably why he opted to wear a black, short-sleeved hoodie to shield his face. She likely didn't look much better, but she couldn't help but grin at the sight.

"We match," she snorted, gesturing to her eyes with a smile, earning her an eye roll from the Uchiha. He didn't look grumpy about it, though. If anything, he looked soft. Sheepish.

He didn't stay, citing that he told Naruto he'd tutor him. She knew he was lying; Sasuke would never show up on Naruto's doorstep looking as though he had cried rivers of tears, but she didn't push him to stay. He needed time to regroup after such high emotions. Patience was of utmost importance to ensure he didn't feel betrayed, and she needed time to herself to continue processing all that happened the day before, anyhow. Although, she wondered how much shame he felt for being vulnerable.

The first week felt like a readjustment period. When he'd walk her home from work, it was almost as if his shields were immediately up and running at full capacity once again. It felt as though he was examining her reactions more closely, studying her to see if anything he'd told her at the cemetery would scare her away from him.

She supposed his concerns made sense, as she doubted he had many opportunities in the past to reveal such personal memories. She figured he was worried she would judge him or that she would overstep her boundaries and attempt to coddle him, but she did nothing of the sort. She was careful to ensure his words stayed between the two of them and gave nothing away to others about what he'd revealed, and she made consistent steps to ensure that nothing had overtly changed between them.

"You know," she said one night as they stood in front of her door, "we don't have to talk about it again unless you want to. I won't dig for more about it."

He nodded and let his finger tentatively graze her wrist as a goodbye. "Thank you."

A new-found trust had grown between them since then.

They went back into their routine: he'd walk her home from work but wouldn't stay unless he had the occasional bag of groceries in hand to help her make dinner or lunch for the next day ("Stop spending money on me for things we can make at home!"). The nights they cooked together, he'd fill her in about Hiroto's meetings with little details about the number of protestors outside the building. The tensions seemed to be escalating, but her distance in the medical district kept her shielded from much of what he described. She had half a mind to accompany him to Hiroto's meetings, but he assured her that Naruto had taken the liberty to do it himself. Sasuke said it with a scowl, though, and knew that his pride was damaged.

"As long as you're safe," she smiled, and he merely nodded in return.

Those nights they ate dinner and packed leftovers together had the best kinds of goodbye-for-nows. She would stand on her toes to place a kiss on his lips that never lasted too long and—sometimes to her sadness—didn't have the fiery feel of their date. They were quick, innocent ones. And each time, her face would burn as he'd flash her a smirk just before he'd disappear into the night.

This went on for a little over another week. Steady, chaste, easy. She reserved her brief displays of affection for when it was just the two of them, and when Naruto tagged along, they were careful not to do anything more than platonic motions.

It was when the blond was visiting along with Sasuke for lunch on her day off—after another round of healing their bruises while the boys griped at each other—that their friendly routine faltered. They'd just finished eating hamburger steaks and pickled vegetables, courtesy of the medic herself, and were cycling through the cleaning process. Naruto wiped down the kotatsu without complaint, and Sasuke and Sakura were organizing leftovers and dishes in the kitchen. She was in her house clothes, as they'd surprised her with their arrival: her cheeky gray panda shirt and black shorts. Sasuke wore the usual shades of gray and black while Naruto opted for orange and white, though both were scuffed with dirt and grime.

The pair in the kitchen communicated with small glances amid their little mumbles of conversation when Naruto let out an exasperated sigh.

"What?" Sakura snapped, already hearing a quality that was between snarky and whiney from the blond. She was washing the last few bowls at her kitchen sink and Sasuke had just finished packing the leftovers away at the counter.

Naruto straightened at her dangerous tone before growing brazen once more. He propped his elbow on the kotatsu and groaned. "I can't take it anymore!"

"More information is needed, Naruto," Sakura sighed, placing the last of the dishes on the drying rack and wiping her hands on a towel. "No one can read your mind."

"Okay, fine. Can you just…both of you, you know?" he gestured towards the pair with a rag flailing haphazardly.

"What?" Sakura asked again, folding her arms across her chest.

"Ah, what the hell," Naruto sighed as though conceding defeat to someone. "Look, Sasuke told me you two are dating, and even though I know you're trying to be quiet about it, I can't with the eye thing anymore."

Sakura raised her eyebrows and looked to Sasuke who had a venomous scowl on his face. "You told him?" she echoed, though her tone was more amused than anything else.

"Against my better judgment," the Uchiha grumbled as he stacked the leftover containers in the fridge.

"Oh."

"You're not mad?" Naruto asked, his body language signaling his preparation to bolt out of the apartment at the first sign of her fury.

"No, I'm not mad," she snorted before softening and playing sheepishly with the ends of her petal pink. "I actually, uh, told Ino and Hinata, too."

"You did?" Sasuke raised an eyebrow at her.

"I couldn't help it."

"When?"

"Over lunch the day I was patching you up. It was a few days after…you know, the date."

Sasuke hummed, a small smirk forming on his lips. "Same day," he nodded in Naruto's direction. While she laughed, the blond bristled.

"I'm still here, y'know," he huffed agitatedly. "You don't have to hide it around me or anything, alright? Just stop doing the eye thing and promise not to make out in front of me, and we should be good."

"Naruto!" Sakura hissed, balling up her kitchen towel and hurling it in his direction. It fluttered open before it reached him and landed benignly on the kotatsu's surface, but the blond flinched just in case.

"Don't. Tell. Anyone," Sasuke warned, earning him a firm nod from Sakura in agreement, but she was careful to keep her gaze trained on Naruto. She sighed exasperatedly before thinking back to what Ino mentioned about her and Sasuke's eye contact. Maybe something about it was more obvious than she thought…

"Okay, okay," Naruto shrugged, "I'm just saying that I really don't want to get in the middle of all that."

"There's nothing to get in the middle of," she scoffed, her face burning as she willed herself not to look in Sasuke's direction. She feigned business by ruffling her already-dry hands in one of her kitchen towels. "For god's sake…"

Before another word could be spoken between the three of them, a series of stern knocks came from her door. They each exchanged a look before she made her way to peek through the peephole to find an ANBU member standing with rigid discipline on the other side. The white mask of a fox with red colorings greeted her, and part of her wished she could keep the door closed and pretend no one was home. Although, another part of her knew that if she didn't, she'd be stuck with the awkward pause following Naruto's bold insinuation. She opened it and felt a wave of mid-summer heat roll into the apartment.

"Haruno-san," the ANBU nodded, her voice as firm as her knock. She then leaned slightly to acknowledge Naruto, completely skirting over Sasuke. "Uzumaki-san."

"Yes," Sakura smiled professionally. "What can we do for you?"

"Godaime and Rokudaime request your presence at your earliest convenience today for your next mission briefing."

The medic nodded, trying her best not to keep her grin from faltering. Another mission. "Please tell them we'll be there within the hour."

The ANBU kunoichi nodded once before flash stepping out of sight.

Sakura shut the door and looked down at her house attire: her cheeky panda shirt and black shorts wouldn't do.

"I'm going to change clothes first, and then we can leave. Come with us?" she asked the Uchiha, his expression unbothered. He nodded once before rounding the kitchen counter to sit at the kotatsu with Naruto. She grinned as convincingly as she could before wandering into her bedroom to prepare.

Another mission, she sighed internally as she slipped on a red tank top and shimmied into a gray skirt. More time away from the village, more time away from…

Sakura shook her head to keep her thoughts from running wild with "what-ifs."

When she left her bedroom in the middle of tying up her pink tresses into a ponytail, she plastered her best smile on her face. Team Seven left her apartment and wandered into the midday heat towards the Hokage tower. Naruto and Sasuke bickered as per usual, and she'd butt in to snap at both when the insults flew too low on either side. Villagers acknowledging them with varying degrees of enthusiasm, and Sakura tried not to pay too much attention to the glowers she knew were directed at Sasuke. Their looks felt more palpable as the days went by, and she knew that this was no coincidence. If the tension was bad enough for protestors to become involved, the severity of the situation was likely increasing.

Despite the hostility on the streets, they chattered all the way to Kakashi's floor, and just before Sakura was about to knock on the large wood paneled door, Naruto pushed through with a beaming grin. "Kakashi-sensei, Old Lady!" he greeted, earning him a tired smile from the former and an eye roll from the latter.

Kakashi's desk looked to be even more chaotic than the last time she came. The colorful tabs that jutted out of the stacks didn't even appear to have an organized chaos; it was just chaos. It looked like one of the piles had grown so out of control that it had its very own box on the floor labeled "to be signed," and Sakura would bet good money on the possibility that Kakashi hadn't even considered reading into them.

"Lively as ever," Tsunade sighed, leaning her hip against the desk where Kakashi sat. "We could hear you three the moment you entered the lobby."

"Sorry, shishou," Sakura apologized, forcefully tugging Naruto's ear. He yelped and pouted at her, his cerulean eyes gleaming with an apology. She then looked between her mentors as her teammates stood on either side. "I was told to meet for a mission briefing?"

"Yes, that's right," Kakashi replied, reaching into one of the many piles of papers on the desk and retrieving a manila folder. "I can feel your judgment about my organization skills from here, Sakura."

"You know me well," the medic sighed dramatically, but she offered him a sympathetic smile. To her left, Sasuke scoffed.

"I'm glad all three of you are here," Kakashi went on, after returning her grin." It saves me the trouble of speaking to you individually."

"What do you mean?" Naruto asked before exchanging a glance with each of his teammates.

"Let me brief you on the missions first and then I'll explain," Kakashi responded, opening the folder and gesturing at it for Sakura to take. She held it in her hands and scanned through the contents. It was filled with data and reports from Sunagakure about young Nana's biopsy and the strides they'd made in White Zetsu spore recovery. Some had notes scribbled in neat script in the margins. "Gaara is requesting your expertise, Sakura, and asks that you to spend eight days in Suna to treat veterans who were attacked by the White Zetsu condition. He also wants you to conduct mental health training circuits for their medics." He nodded at the documents. "You'll find more about the specifics of what Sunagakure hospitals are seeking to learn from you."

"Eight days," she murmured, flipping one of the papers on its back to read the results of a study. I'll be gone for at least two weeks. What if—

No. None of that.

"Your medical team from the hospital will accompany you," Tsunade included. "Only Eri, Kano, and Goro, though. Aiko will be leaving for her second trip to Hana Village while you're away. Shizune and I will take over your work at the hospital until you return."

Sakura fought the urge to glance at Sasuke over the mention of Goro's name. Work had with the shinobi had been relatively painless, but the awkwardness that stood between him and Sasuke made her skin crawl.

"Understood," she nodded her head, storing her concerns away for another time. "Departure date?"

"Tomorrow morning at seven," Kakashi responded. "It'll take two-and-a-half days to get to the Wind Country border. Seeing as it's summer, you'll need time your travels to ensure you cross the desert at night."

"Understood," she said, resisting a frown.

"What about me?" Naruto asked.

"You will also be going to Sunagakure, Naruto, to relay information about Konoha's latest updates regarding our village's internal workings. You will be acting as a diplomat and are to leave with Sakura's party tomorrow at seven in the morning." He leaned forward in his chair and his tone grew more serious as he said, "I'll need to speak to you after this meeting about the details."

"Understood," Naruto confirmed.

The last time she left on an extended mission, she came home to the sight of Sasuke being pinned to the ground by MPs and shinobi. Naruto wasn't with him at the time to stop it, either. Despite knowing that Sasuke was fully capable of handling himself, she felt uneasy that the two of them would have to leave. The what-ifs had no barrier now.

What if Sasuke-kun is harassed again while we're away?
What if Kakashi can't pull his pardon card?

What if the protestors get violent?

They were about to turn to leave the office when Kakashi raised his hand to pause them.

The successor turned his attention to Sasuke. "I'm sure Officer Hiroto has given you a bit of background about the unrest that's rising in the village right now. You likely have some experience with it outside the MP building." He then looked to Naruto and Sakura. "And I'm also sure you two have heard about or seen the protestors. For that reason, Hiroto and I have decided it best to have Sasuke physically outside the village and accompany you on the mission to Sunagakure."

She raised her eyebrows in surprise and exchanged a glance with Naruto who looked just as startled. "We're all going?"

"What did the elders say to that?" Sasuke asked, his interrogative voice prompting everyone in the room to turn to him.

A valid question, Sakura thought, her stomach churning at the image of Koharu and Homura that she conjured in her head as she hugged the folder to her chest anxiously. They couldn't have been pleased.

"Nothing that put up a valid argument against it," Kakashi smiled pleasantly. "Officer Hiroto and I briefed this morning about this decision. You are still expected to remain in contact with him once a week to report your activities in Sunagakure. If you run into any issues there, we have an alliance station in Suna where Konoha shinobi will be should anything arise. At the end of each day of travel, we just ask that you send a message our way of your status."

"I'll use a toad or two," Naruto grinned, his excitement obvious.

Sasuke didn't respond to this except with a clenched fist, and Sakura had to reel herself in from holding his fingers to loosen them.

"All of you will meet tomorrow morning at the village gates. Be sure you pack for heat," Tsunade announced to Team Seven, and the three of them vocalized their understanding. "Dismissed. Except Naruto."

Sakura turned to the Uchiha beside her to find his jaw taut and brow furrowed. They exited without a word until they walked into the lobby. The medic gripped the folder in her hand and turned to him, coaxing him to look at her to gauge his state. He was still tense, his mouth turned downward in a scowl. "What are you thinking?" she asked curiously, slowing their pace.

He seemed to relax—though barely—at her voice, but his irritation at the situation didn't dissipate as he replied, "Tch. I'm being babysat."

Another ding to his pride. "Kakashi-sensei is doing what he thinks is best, and I assume Hiroto agrees with him." She bit her lip anxiously before continuing, her fingers flittering over the edges of the paperwork in her arms. She looked down at the stack as shyness crept into her cheeks. "I think…I think I'm relieved that you're coming with us. I know you might not be very happy about it, but last time I came back from a mission…"

She didn't need to finish her thought, and Sasuke softened at that. His face still held a frown, but he didn't look as agitated. "Sorry," he muttered.

"It wasn't your fault, remember?" she grinned weakly, emerald gems meeting midnight and lavender. "I guess I'm saying that I'd feel better knowing you were with us, and I'm sure Naruto would, too."

He nodded tiredly in agreement, though Sakura knew he was still begrudged. She didn't want him to feel under watch, but she supposed his situation wouldn't let sheer freedom be a possibility.

"Would you rather stay in the Village?" she asked. "I can talk to Kakashi-sensei and see if—"

"No." He stuffed his hand into his pocket and turned toward the front doors. "It's fine. I'll go."

Sakura studied him for a moment, noted the way his jaw was no longer taut and the way his brows relaxed as he gazed outside. Suddenly, the image of a caged bird came to her mind, and a pang of sadness echoed in her chest. The last time he looked free—despite his situation—was in the pastel fields of Hana Village where no one shot him angry looks, villagers welcomed his early skills of healing, and they walked, hands held, together through the streets.

Outside of Konoha, he seemed more at peace. Considering the history that happened within their childhood village, she couldn't blame him.

He did not want to be under surveillance in the village, and merely tagging along on a mission to Sunagakure may not have been ideal, but…

She reached up with the folder and gently tapped the crown of his head with it. "We'll make the best of it," she grinned, earning her a playful elbow from him.

They walked out of the Hokage Tower and into the summer heat once more. "I have to go and review these documents before we leave," she sighed, lifting the folder in her right hand. With her left, she tentatively held the hem of his shirt to gather his attention. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

Sasuke nodded, brushing his fingertips against her wrist, leaving a trail of electricity in the touch's wake. "Yes."

"Good," she grinned before teasingly saying, "Remember to pack for heat."

When Sasuke and Sakura shut the door behind them, Naruto turned curiously in Kakashi's direction. "So, what exactly am I relaying to Gaara when I get there?" he asked, stuffing his hand in his pocket.

Kakashi pulled out a blue folder that looked painfully stuffed with documents, the flaps curling around the papers like a swollen clamshell. "Maybe we should get a binder for this," he snorted, his lips forming a teasing grin behind his mask. "Wouldn't change the workload, but it would at least look nicer."

Naruto groaned as he hefted it into his arm. "More studying," he grumbled.

"We also have another topic of discussion," Tsunade added, her caramel eyes darting in her successor's direction. "Regarding the Uchiha."

"Sasuke? Then why'd you only ask to speak with me?" Naruto frowned.

"How have your visits with Officer Hiroto been these last few weeks?" Kakashi asked, skirting around his student's question. "We understand that you've been accompanying Sasuke."

The blond frowned further and fingered with the corner of the folder with his thumb. "It's been…tense. Protestors have been out there each time we go. They don't say much to us, at least not directly. They started carrying signs that are telling Officer Hiroto to resign or leave the village, though, and I think the number of them doubled."

Kakashi nodded and hummed in understanding. He folded his hands beneath his chin, and Naruto thought he looked particularly hokage-like. "He reached out to me the other day and told me that he's been receiving anonymous death threats."

Naruto's blood ran cold. "Death threats?" he echoed in disbelief.

"There are people in the village who have very strong feelings about the Uchiha, and even stronger feelings as a result due to how we've been handling the reintegration program for him," Tsunade explained. "Many of them believe that Hiroto is not properly executing job of protecting the civilian population despite Sasuke not having had any altercations with them."

"Then why?" Naruto asked, his voice growing desperate. "The only one that ever had a problem with Sasuke was that Ken guy. Is he starting all of this?"

"It's hard to say," Tsunade responded, her voice stern. "It seems as though there's been a central movement for a while that can't be pinpointed on one single person. The Uchiha have experienced discrimination for generations, so our inability to find the source isn't that surprising."

Naruto clicked his tongue in frustration. "Well, what can we do?"

"Hiroto is the one who asked for Sasuke to leave the village under your and Sakura's care," Kakashi replied. "I think all of us here are aware that you two act as something of a social shield for him when he's around the village. As much as we know it kills his pride, it works to protect him. If both you and Sakura travel to Sunagakure, it makes the most sense to have him with you. As for Hiroto," the successor sighed heavily, "he's refused to stand down from his title. I've made the decision to send my public support for Hiroto's decision while your missions are at play."

"Why did he ask Sasuke to leave?"

Kakashi and Tsunade looked to each other before the silver-haired man spoke. "One of the threats was for Sasuke's life."

Silence hung in the air, and Naruto nearly ripped the entire folder in half as rage coursed through his blood.

"We are well aware that Sasuke can take care of himself under normal circumstances, but if he were to retaliate or even defend himself, it could be misconstrued as violence."

"Can't we detain them?" Naruto snapped, the frustration in his tone nearly palpable as it left his lips. "Or better yet, let's take Officer Hiroto with us!"

"Hiroto has a duty as the police chief and is refusing to step away from it. He also has a family here," Tsunade explained. "As for detaining them, it won't be possible until a crime is actively committed."

"For this reason," Kakashi went on, "it will be best that Sasuke is physically out of the village for us to sort this out. The reason we are telling you this, Naruto, is because you have the greatest amount of pull. Your public approval is as high as Sasuke's is low, and we need you to stay in the loop of what the upper echelons are doing. This is especially the case since you are the anticipated Nanadaime."

Naruto's ears perked at the title, but he clicked his tongue in irritation. "Can I tell Sakura-chan?"

"No," Tsunade shook her head. "She has enough on her plate as medical lead. After Kakashi's inauguration, which will take place in two months, we intend to promote her and others from your cohort to Jounin to solidify her role. Her realm of influence does not cover what we discuss here."

"We will let you know if it grows pertinent to tell Sasuke of what's occurring. We will treat this threat seriously, but we don't want to cause alarm for nothing," Kakashi went on.

Naruto grit his teeth, sure that the pressure would have been enough to crack the strongest of metals.

"We know this is difficult," Kakashi's voice sounded ages old. "We will handle what we can here. If it's any consolation to know, the amount of those who gravely dislike Sasuke are small. The protestors we're seeing are a vocal minority. Most people feel a bit of discomfort, some fear, or neutrality. There are even some that revere Sasuke at the same level as you, though they aren't as loud as the protestors."

Naruto closed his eyes in frustration and remembered young Sato, the boy whom Sasuke claimed clung to him like his own younger brother. "I wish they would be," he murmured.

Tsunade sighed. "Go home. Prepare for your mission tomorrow. Enjoy your time with your team."

The young blond opened his eyes and looked between the two of his predecessors. "Thank you," he spoke, his voice tight. Then, he walked out of the office as sadness for his best friend filled his heart. Despite never sharing more than a few words of depth, their sparring sessions gave away enough for him to know what Sasuke felt: trapped, frustrated, yearning for freedom and peace. His situation was far from an ideal path to walk.

As he exited the tower into the summer heat, he knew fiercely that he would keep walking with him, just as he always had.