Arthur skimmed probably the millionth useless paragraph of the day, his eyes burning as he squinted at the book he held inches from his nose .

Magical cures, of course, depend entirely on the curse you're trying to cure.

He reached the end of the page, only to realize he hadn't registered a single word he'd read. Cursing, he growled and started to read the first sentence.

For the third time.

He sighed heavily , his breath flickering the half dozen candles scattered haphazardly around him . For some inexplicable reason, their flickering irritated him further and he flung the book into his lap . Dust exploded into the air and he blinked rapidly as he ran his hands through his for-once-crownless hair .

"Pull yourself together, Pendragon!" He growled softly , heaving in a huge breath and closing his eyes as he blew it out slowly , trying to push all of his locked anger and stress out with it .

Pull yourself together and get back to work! You are a Pendragon- you are the King and your servant needs you! You can't afford to be tired or stupid- you need to pull yourself together and-

Thud!

Arthur jumped, his head snapping to the door and his hand flying to his side before he registered what the sound was .

Merlin was dagger throwing again. Great.

"Ten points. That was your head." Merlin said, and Arthur found himself straining to hear any signs of pain or sickness in his servant's voice. His desperation to not find any was a thick, tangible slime twisting in his stomach.

You have to be strong and move on, do you hear me, boy? Caring and crying won't save a dead man. A king has to get back to work and do what he can for the rest of his people.

His Father's words in the long-forgotten memory were every bit as terrible and heartless as they had been the day he'd found the frozen peasant outside the gates .

But he was right.

If he sat down and gave up and cried then Merlin would die.

He had to get back to work and do what he could.

"Your aim is weak with your left arm." Arthur drawled, sounding bored despite his recent near-panic. He huffed slightly and grabbed a new book.

"You can't see me throw!" Merlin complained. Arthur heard the shuffling of boots on stone, presumably Merlin grabbing the cursed dagger to throw it again . Joy.

"Common sense, you idiot. I know the aim was weak because everything about you is weak." Merlin snorted in obvious disagreement and Arthur felt a strange impulse to roll his eyes like a young petty female . Of course, the idiot thought now was the time to argue about his pathetic manhood. Honestly . Arthur resisted a sigh and retrieved his book, thumbing through the pages so he could read the most recent again . For the fourth time. The words blurred before him and he blinked until they cleared. Storms, his eyes burned. At some point, you'll have to sleep. But he wouldn't. He couldn't. Not until Merlin was safe.

"Tell me again- what does the curse feel like? Do you realize just how many curses feel 'strong' and 'persuasive'?! Give me something useful!"

"What do you want me to say?!" Merlin said, his tone almost petulant. Arthur briefly wondered about the ramifications of dangling servants naked above a wilderen den . Didn't he realize what was at stake?!

"It is strong and persuasive, I want to kill you so much more than I usually do!"

Days from death and he's joking?! Arthur flung the book back into his lap. Merlin's poorly-timed-sarcasm made his blood boil and before he could stop himself he was bellowing .

"Merlin! I am trying to break the curse and save my life! Optimally before said curse staves you to death, and it would be much easier if you would stop lounging about making jokes and help !" Arthur clamped his mouth shut before he could make it worse and squeezed his eyes closed, taking in a deep breath and trying to will his heart to slow . Keep it together, Pendragon. It's not his fault. He's doing the best he can.

"I am helping! In case you haven't noticed- you aren't dead- "

Thud!

"If you don't give me something I swear I'll leave you in there to die." Please Merlin, anything. Give me anything.

Arthur strained for his servant's next sarcastic comeback or, heaven forbid, something helpful . But all he heard was silence. And when Merlin finally broke it his voice was subdued .

" Maybe you should. At least then you'd be safe."

Arthur's heart lanced apart as the image seared into his brain.

Merlin, cold and pale. Still. Staring up at the ceiling with empty eyes. Arthur shoved his eyes open, trying to drive it from his brain. But all he could see was wood. The door that stopped Arthur from saving him.

"Shut up, Merlin." Don't you dare even think that.

"Now's not the time to turn noble on me." I'm not letting you die for me. I'm not letting you die.

He waited for some snappy quip and ignored the bitter disappointment when Merlin stayed quiet .

He didn't honestly believe that Arthur would be better with him dead...right?

No. Of course not. He's just worried we won't save him in time. He's trying to make it easier on us.

Storms the man was an idiot.

"Merlin. You're not going to die. I'm going to get you out."

Somehow.

Merlin was silent for a long time.

Then another thud! crashed into the door.

"Fifty points. I got it in your 'Gwen's spot'."

Arthur cursed his servant to high heaven as a weight lifted off of his chest.

Merlin was joking again. He was okay. They still had time.

Arthur retieved his book. Only half listening to Merlin's disrespectful rant of his intimate life.

"-Pawing at my friend-"

Arthur flipped the pages until he saw the top of the one he'd left off on.

For the fifth time.

They still had time.

Countless hours later, Arthur started seeing not only blurry words, but three hands, and moving doors . And he decided, as much as he loathed too, it was probably time to head to his servant's rock of a bed and get some sleep.

He'd stumbled about halfway to his feet when he heard something from beyond the door that made him stop.

A whimper. So quiet and low he could have imagined it. Had he imagined it? His head was buzzing like it was stuffed too full of cotton and the door swayed before him and he could have just imagined it-

"Merlin?"

He leaned close to the door, straining, just in case-

A ragged gasped drifted through the wood.

Arthur's blood froze in his veins.

"Merlin? What's wrong?"

But Merlin didn't respond. No more whimpers. No attempts of distraction with 'what's wrong with you '. Nothing.

Panic twisted in his chest, marching to the dreadful beat of his racing heart, washing away all tiredness because Merlin always responded with something !

Then his aching head remembered that Merlin had fallen asleep hours ago.

That realization should have made the panic ebb away but it tightened it's fist around his heart because Merlin was whimpering in his sleep .

Which meant something was wrong.

And he hadn't shown any sign of it when he was awake.

Which meant Merlin had been trying to keep it from him.

Which meant it was really wrong. Merlin-hiding-serious-injury-wrong.

"Oh, you stupid idiot…"

Merlin only moaned in response.

Arthur growled and slid back down to the floor, slumping against the door.

"I should have known. You just have to make everything complicated, don't you?"

He grabbed the half-read book that was tipping precariously off of the tilting stack and opened it up.

"I swear- if you die in there because you didn't tell me, I'm going to kill you. I'll take you to the Valley of Fallen Kings because you love it so much and-" he kept talking. Some idiot part of him hoping that his words could somehow comfort his hurting servant.

Time was running out.

Merlin's excuse for his whimpering in the night was as pathetic as his dagger-throwing skills.

'Nightmares', he'd tried to explain, but he was too quick to say it and too cheerful and Arthur knew he'd been right.

Not that it did any good.

Because his servant was a mule-headed idiot with no sense of self-preservation.

"Merlin! Stop being a coy girl and just tell me already!"

Thud!

"I have told you-" Merlin began petulantly and Arthur wished for nothing more than to clobber him. Since that option was currently unavailable, he settled for shouting at him.

"Merlin!" He slammed the current book shut and chucked it at the door, relishing the startled squeak from the servant inside.

" If you don't give me a satisfying report of everything you've been hiding from me in the next three seconds, I'll-"

"Fine! Anything to get you to shut up! Here's what I've been keeping from you, but don't blame me when it gets your Kingly cloak in a twist! I haven't been eating your sausages, Cook decided to stop giving them to you because she said you've put on some weight-"

Arthur was going to kill him.

"Merlin-" He growled threateningly , but he was cut off by another Thud!

"-And I didn't do anything because I can't put more holes in your belt. I'm sorry, I just can't. There's not enough belt!" Thud!

"And the strange looks you've gotten in the tavern? Gwaine's been telling everyone these rumors about a mole on your, well, I'm sure you can imagine where. And I was going to tell him to stop, but they were actually very interesting rumors and they seemed to brighten the peoples' day so I let him-"

"MERLIN-!" Arthur bellowed but Merlin cut him off, his words sharp and sudden as a whip. Shocking Arthur into silence.

"And every time you talk it kills me!" Merlin's voice was rough, pain bleeding into his words.

Arthur had been hunting for it all morning. Now his heart ached at the sound.

"My blood boils and all I can see is red and I want to kill you so much it hurts! I want to wrap my fingers around your neck and strangle you until the voices in my head finally SHUT UP!" A thud! accompanied the last words but it was wrong.

A terrible shattering sound echoed through the door, followed immediately by the ominous thump of something heavier than a dagger . Arthur's heart clenched in its cage as he shot to his feet.

" Merlin! " Arthur shouted, his hand on his hilt, pulling out his sword even as he realized it would be no use.

He was locked out.

"I'm sorry. I didn't…" Merlin's voice was lost. Sad.

"That doesn't matter! Are you okay?!" A heavy pause. And when Merlin broke it, his voice was too-carefully cheerful.

"No need to be so concerned sire, I'm only dying a little, don't trouble yourself!"

Arthur growled.

Merlin sounded wrong.

"Answer me, you idiot! Are you hurt?!"

"On a slightly similar note, how fond is Gwen of her vase?" Arthur's desperate ears heard Merlin's pained grunt from behind the door and he knew.

Merlin was hurt .

"It's been passed down from Mother to Daughter for generations- We don't care about the sparking vase, are you hurt?! " The sarcasm bled out of him, mixing with the hysterical squeak he couldn't contain. Merlin was hurt . He was hurt and there was no way to get to him. He was cursed and starving and hurt and Arthur couldn't save him.

"I'm fine- I only fell and knocked over Gwen's vase. Actually, I'm just perfect! I'm cursed to kill you, Arthur. It's the happiest day of my life- there are so many ways! I could poison you or strangle you or slip the knights a real sword in the Dull Duels or summon a dragon- no wait, forget that one . The dragons are all dead. Definitely dead. And how would I summon one anyway? Dumb plan…" Merlin's voice had changed, grown softer and somewhat slurred, sending the panic twisting in Arthur's plummeting heart .

"Dumb plan… dumb King... hey, look Arthur… I'm a dumb King too… I'm wearing the red!"

Red? Arthur's panic stalled for a moment. Clouded by confusion.

Something about that sentence didn't settle right in his stomach.

Red… red…

He sent his mind back to when they'd first found the idiot. What had he been wearing? His purple shirt... his only trousers...and... The blue neckerchief.

No red.

Worry wormed in his gut. How malnourished was his servant?

"- you know I get to kill you, Arthur? Just open the door and you can be red like me!" Merlin wanted him to open the door?! Why-

" Red he said… red and dead…"

A horrible understanding dawned and a cold dread washed over him, turning his stomach against him .

Red and dead.

Red like blood.

Merlin was bleeding.

Merlin was bleeding! And based on his moans and singsong gibberish, he was bleeding a lot.

And Arthur couldn't save him.

Arthur's veins throbbed as his pulse quickened and it was only hard engraved instinct that forced him to steal a deep breath . His Teacher's words echoed through his head, so much kinder than his Father's, but so much more terrible. Your Highness- look at me. You'll need to be calm-your lives will depend on you being calm. Everything may be going wrong, people may be hurt, they may be dying- they may be dead, Arthur. And fear and pain and panic may be tearing through you- but you will have to shove all of that away. I know- I know it's not fair. But whoever's left will need you to stay calm and soldier through. Assess the situation.

What do you have? What do you know? What needs to be done?

Alright- alright- what did he have?

A sword. His hand reached for the pummel as though it might have disappeared, but it was right there and the coldness of the hilt grounded him somewhat. His heart beat began to beat a little less erratically.

I have a sword. Books. Candles. Guards. Knights. A palace of people to meet my whims.

What do you know?

"Merlin's cursed to kill me. He can't control it so he barricaded himself inside. He's too weak to move the barricade so he's trapped. He was kidnapped . He said he wasn't tortured. But he's Merlin so he probably was. He fell and he crashed into a vase and now he's hurt. He's losing so much blood he's growing delirious. He'll bleed out if we can't save him. But we can't get to him. He's hurt and it's my fault. And now I can't get to him and I can't help him oh Heavens this is all my-"

No! No, he couldn't spiral! He had to be strong. He had to hold it together!

Merlin needed him.

"Arthur… I… whoa… you might wanna… catch me… " Arthur's heart lept to his throat as a muffled thump echoed from beyond the door.

" Merlin!? " He slammed against the door like maybe this time he'd be strong enough.

Silence. The door stayed as firm as ever. Merlin was going to die. His life slipped away with every drop he bled and soon he'd be dead.

"Merlin- stop being a girl and answer me!"

Please be alive. Please don't be dead. I need you. He strained against the wood, unable to stop the mantra marching across his brain.

Then:

"... Clotpole…" - Arthur's heart slammed back into beating -had it stopped?- as dizzying relief rushed through him.

"I know you are. Listen, don't move-" What am I saying? Where would you go?

" Just stay! I'll get the others- we're going to save you, Merlin. I promise."

Merlin gave a nonsensical mumble that was anything but reassuring. But at least it was something.

Stealing a breath that did nothing to soothe the panic thrumming through him, Arthur turned and raced for the Infirmary .

Notes:

I am so sorry, first for the long wait, and second for the sub-level quality of this. I have litterally seven google docs full of attempts at this, but none of them felt good enough. But I'm trying to learn to accept my imperfections and still be proud of a work even if it's not my best, so I'm posting this. To anyone who read the first chap and then waited so long, I thank you so much. I'm going to continue,and anything worthwhile in this chap is because of your sweet dedication. I love you all my darlings, and I hope you have a beautiful night!Arthur skimmed probably the millionth useless paragraph of the day, his eyes burning as he squinted at the book he held inches from his nose .

Magical cures, of course, depend entirely on the curse you're trying to cure.

He reached the end of the page, only to realize he hadn't registered a single word he'd read. Cursing, he growled and started to read the first sentence.

For the third time.

He sighed heavily , his breath flickering the half dozen candles scattered haphazardly around him . For some inexplicable reason, their flickering irritated him further and he flung the book into his lap . Dust exploded into the air and he blinked rapidly as he ran his hands through his for-once-crownless hair .

"Pull yourself together, Pendragon!" He growled softly , heaving in a huge breath and closing his eyes as he blew it out slowly , trying to push all of his locked anger and stress out with it .

Pull yourself together and get back to work! You are a Pendragon- you are the King and your servant needs you! You can't afford to be tired or stupid- you need to pull yourself together and-

Thud!

Arthur jumped, his head snapping to the door and his hand flying to his side before he registered what the sound was .

Merlin was dagger throwing again. Great.

"Ten points. That was your head." Merlin said, and Arthur found himself straining to hear any signs of pain or sickness in his servant's voice. His desperation to not find any was a thick, tangible slime twisting in his stomach.

You have to be strong and move on, do you hear me, boy? Caring and crying won't save a dead man. A king has to get back to work and do what he can for the rest of his people.

His Father's words in the long-forgotten memory were every bit as terrible and heartless as they had been the day he'd found the frozen peasant outside the gates .

But he was right.

If he sat down and gave up and cried then Merlin would die.

He had to get back to work and do what he could.

"Your aim is weak with your left arm." Arthur drawled, sounding bored despite his recent near-panic. He huffed slightly and grabbed a new book.

"You can't see me throw!" Merlin complained. Arthur heard the shuffling of boots on stone, presumably Merlin grabbing the cursed dagger to throw it again . Joy.

"Common sense, you idiot. I know the aim was weak because everything about you is weak." Merlin snorted in obvious disagreement and Arthur felt a strange impulse to roll his eyes like a young petty female . Of course, the idiot thought now was the time to argue about his pathetic manhood. Honestly . Arthur resisted a sigh and retrieved his book, thumbing through the pages so he could read the most recent again . For the fourth time. The words blurred before him and he blinked until they cleared. Storms, his eyes burned. At some point, you'll have to sleep. But he wouldn't. He couldn't. Not until Merlin was safe.

"Tell me again- what does the curse feel like? Do you realize just how many curses feel 'strong' and 'persuasive'?! Give me something useful!"

"What do you want me to say?!" Merlin said, his tone almost petulant. Arthur briefly wondered about the ramifications of dangling servants naked above a wilderen den . Didn't he realize what was at stake?!

"It is strong and persuasive, I want to kill you so much more than I usually do!"

Days from death and he's joking?! Arthur flung the book back into his lap. Merlin's poorly-timed-sarcasm made his blood boil and before he could stop himself he was bellowing .

"Merlin! I am trying to break the curse and save my life! Optimally before said curse staves you to death, and it would be much easier if you would stop lounging about making jokes and help !" Arthur clamped his mouth shut before he could make it worse and squeezed his eyes closed, taking in a deep breath and trying to will his heart to slow . Keep it together, Pendragon. It's not his fault. He's doing the best he can.

"I am helping! In case you haven't noticed- you aren't dead- "

Thud!

"If you don't give me something I swear I'll leave you in there to die." Please Merlin, anything. Give me anything.

Arthur strained for his servant's next sarcastic comeback or, heaven forbid, something helpful . But all he heard was silence. And when Merlin finally broke it his voice was subdued .

" Maybe you should. At least then you'd be safe."

Arthur's heart lanced apart as the image seared into his brain.

Merlin, cold and pale. Still. Staring up at the ceiling with empty eyes. Arthur shoved his eyes open, trying to drive it from his brain. But all he could see was wood. The door that stopped Arthur from saving him.

"Shut up, Merlin." Don't you dare even think that.

"Now's not the time to turn noble on me." I'm not letting you die for me. I'm not letting you die.

He waited for some snappy quip and ignored the bitter disappointment when Merlin stayed quiet .

He didn't honestly believe that Arthur would be better with him dead...right?

No. Of course not. He's just worried we won't save him in time. He's trying to make it easier on us.

Storms the man was an idiot.

"Merlin. You're not going to die. I'm going to get you out."

Somehow.

Merlin was silent for a long time.

Then another thud! crashed into the door.

"Fifty points. I got it in your 'Gwen's spot'."

Arthur cursed his servant to high heaven as a weight lifted off of his chest.

Merlin was joking again. He was okay. They still had time.

Arthur retieved his book. Only half listening to Merlin's disrespectful rant of his intimate life.

"-Pawing at my friend-"

Arthur flipped the pages until he saw the top of the one he'd left off on.

For the fifth time.

They still had time.

Countless hours later, Arthur started seeing not only blurry words, but three hands, and moving doors . And he decided, as much as he loathed too, it was probably time to head to his servant's rock of a bed and get some sleep.

He'd stumbled about halfway to his feet when he heard something from beyond the door that made him stop.

A whimper. So quiet and low he could have imagined it. Had he imagined it? His head was buzzing like it was stuffed too full of cotton and the door swayed before him and he could have just imagined it-

"Merlin?"

He leaned close to the door, straining, just in case-

A ragged gasped drifted through the wood.

Arthur's blood froze in his veins.

"Merlin? What's wrong?"

But Merlin didn't respond. No more whimpers. No attempts of distraction with 'what's wrong with you '. Nothing.

Panic twisted in his chest, marching to the dreadful beat of his racing heart, washing away all tiredness because Merlin always responded with something !

Then his aching head remembered that Merlin had fallen asleep hours ago.

That realization should have made the panic ebb away but it tightened it's fist around his heart because Merlin was whimpering in his sleep .

Which meant something was wrong.

And he hadn't shown any sign of it when he was awake.

Which meant Merlin had been trying to keep it from him.

Which meant it was really wrong. Merlin-hiding-serious-injury-wrong.

"Oh, you stupid idiot…"

Merlin only moaned in response.

Arthur growled and slid back down to the floor, slumping against the door.

"I should have known. You just have to make everything complicated, don't you?"

He grabbed the half-read book that was tipping precariously off of the tilting stack and opened it up.

"I swear- if you die in there because you didn't tell me, I'm going to kill you. I'll take you to the Valley of Fallen Kings because you love it so much and-" he kept talking. Some idiot part of him hoping that his words could somehow comfort his hurting servant.

Time was running out.

Merlin's excuse for his whimpering in the night was as pathetic as his dagger-throwing skills.

'Nightmares', he'd tried to explain, but he was too quick to say it and too cheerful and Arthur knew he'd been right.

Not that it did any good.

Because his servant was a mule-headed idiot with no sense of self-preservation.

"Merlin! Stop being a coy girl and just tell me already!"

Thud!

"I have told you-" Merlin began petulantly and Arthur wished for nothing more than to clobber him. Since that option was currently unavailable, he settled for shouting at him.

"Merlin!" He slammed the current book shut and chucked it at the door, relishing the startled squeak from the servant inside.

" If you don't give me a satisfying report of everything you've been hiding from me in the next three seconds, I'll-"

"Fine! Anything to get you to shut up! Here's what I've been keeping from you, but don't blame me when it gets your Kingly cloak in a twist! I haven't been eating your sausages, Cook decided to stop giving them to you because she said you've put on some weight-"

Arthur was going to kill him.

"Merlin-" He growled threateningly , but he was cut off by another Thud!

"-And I didn't do anything because I can't put more holes in your belt. I'm sorry, I just can't. There's not enough belt!" Thud!

"And the strange looks you've gotten in the tavern? Gwaine's been telling everyone these rumors about a mole on your, well, I'm sure you can imagine where. And I was going to tell him to stop, but they were actually very interesting rumors and they seemed to brighten the peoples' day so I let him-"

"MERLIN-!" Arthur bellowed but Merlin cut him off, his words sharp and sudden as a whip. Shocking Arthur into silence.

"And every time you talk it kills me!" Merlin's voice was rough, pain bleeding into his words.

Arthur had been hunting for it all morning. Now his heart ached at the sound.

"My blood boils and all I can see is red and I want to kill you so much it hurts! I want to wrap my fingers around your neck and strangle you until the voices in my head finally SHUT UP!" A thud! accompanied the last words but it was wrong.

A terrible shattering sound echoed through the door, followed immediately by the ominous thump of something heavier than a dagger . Arthur's heart clenched in its cage as he shot to his feet.

" Merlin! " Arthur shouted, his hand on his hilt, pulling out his sword even as he realized it would be no use.

He was locked out.

"I'm sorry. I didn't…" Merlin's voice was lost. Sad.

"That doesn't matter! Are you okay?!" A heavy pause. And when Merlin broke it, his voice was too-carefully cheerful.

"No need to be so concerned sire, I'm only dying a little, don't trouble yourself!"

Arthur growled.

Merlin sounded wrong.

"Answer me, you idiot! Are you hurt?!"

"On a slightly similar note, how fond is Gwen of her vase?" Arthur's desperate ears heard Merlin's pained grunt from behind the door and he knew.

Merlin was hurt .

"It's been passed down from Mother to Daughter for generations- We don't care about the sparking vase, are you hurt?! " The sarcasm bled out of him, mixing with the hysterical squeak he couldn't contain. Merlin was hurt . He was hurt and there was no way to get to him. He was cursed and starving and hurt and Arthur couldn't save him.

"I'm fine- I only fell and knocked over Gwen's vase. Actually, I'm just perfect! I'm cursed to kill you, Arthur. It's the happiest day of my life- there are so many ways! I could poison you or strangle you or slip the knights a real sword in the Dull Duels or summon a dragon- no wait, forget that one . The dragons are all dead. Definitely dead. And how would I summon one anyway? Dumb plan…" Merlin's voice had changed, grown softer and somewhat slurred, sending the panic twisting in Arthur's plummeting heart .

"Dumb plan… dumb King... hey, look Arthur… I'm a dumb King too… I'm wearing the red!"

Red? Arthur's panic stalled for a moment. Clouded by confusion.

Something about that sentence didn't settle right in his stomach.

Red… red…

He sent his mind back to when they'd first found the idiot. What had he been wearing? His purple shirt... his only trousers...and... The blue neckerchief.

No red.

Worry wormed in his gut. How malnourished was his servant?

"- you know I get to kill you, Arthur? Just open the door and you can be red like me!" Merlin wanted him to open the door?! Why-

" Red he said… red and dead…"

A horrible understanding dawned and a cold dread washed over him, turning his stomach against him .

Red and dead.

Red like blood.

Merlin was bleeding.

Merlin was bleeding! And based on his moans and singsong gibberish, he was bleeding a lot.

And Arthur couldn't save him.

Arthur's veins throbbed as his pulse quickened and it was only hard engraved instinct that forced him to steal a deep breath . His Teacher's words echoed through his head, so much kinder than his Father's, but so much more terrible. Your Highness- look at me. You'll need to be calm-your lives will depend on you being calm. Everything may be going wrong, people may be hurt, they may be dying- they may be dead, Arthur. And fear and pain and panic may be tearing through you- but you will have to shove all of that away. I know- I know it's not fair. But whoever's left will need you to stay calm and soldier through. Assess the situation.

What do you have? What do you know? What needs to be done?

Alright- alright- what did he have?

A sword. His hand reached for the pummel as though it might have disappeared, but it was right there and the coldness of the hilt grounded him somewhat. His heart beat began to beat a little less erratically.

I have a sword. Books. Candles. Guards. Knights. A palace of people to meet my whims.

What do you know?

"Merlin's cursed to kill me. He can't control it so he barricaded himself inside. He's too weak to move the barricade so he's trapped. He was kidnapped . He said he wasn't tortured. But he's Merlin so he probably was. He fell and he crashed into a vase and now he's hurt. He's losing so much blood he's growing delirious. He'll bleed out if we can't save him. But we can't get to him. He's hurt and it's my fault. And now I can't get to him and I can't help him oh Heavens this is all my-"

No! No, he couldn't spiral! He had to be strong. He had to hold it together!

Merlin needed him.

"Arthur… I… whoa… you might wanna… catch me… " Arthur's heart lept to his throat as a muffled thump echoed from beyond the door.

" Merlin!? " He slammed against the door like maybe this time he'd be strong enough.

Silence. The door stayed as firm as ever. Merlin was going to die. His life slipped away with every drop he bled and soon he'd be dead.

"Merlin- stop being a girl and answer me!"

Please be alive. Please don't be dead. I need you. He strained against the wood, unable to stop the mantra marching across his brain.

Then:

"... Clotpole…" - Arthur's heart slammed back into beating -had it stopped?- as dizzying relief rushed through him.

"I know you are. Listen, don't move-" What am I saying? Where would you go?

" Just stay! I'll get the others- we're going to save you, Merlin. I promise."

Merlin gave a nonsensical mumble that was anything but reassuring. But at least it was something.

Stealing a breath that did nothing to soothe the panic thrumming through him, Arthur turned and raced for the Infirmary .

Notes:

I am so sorry, first for the long wait, and second for the sub-level quality of this. I have litterally seven google docs full of attempts at this, but none of them felt good enough. But I'm trying to learn to accept my imperfections and still be proud of a work even if it's not my best, so I'm posting this. To anyone who read the first chap and then waited so long, I thank you so much. I'm going to continue,and anything worthwhile in this chap is because of your sweet dedication. I love you all my darlings, and I hope you have a beautiful night