6. Anchor

Anger was mostly a foreign emotion to Paul because he worked so hard at not being like his father, it became more work to just keep the feeling at bay but he'd gotten really good at it. Right now though it was coursing through his veins and as he jumped out of his truck and kicked off his shoes in his mother's driveway, it was intense and he could no longer control the way his body rippled and shook, he ran into the tree line and exploded, he was so disoriented with the suddenness of his phase that he didn't think about who was on patrol hearing his every thought. Seth and Quil were running as Paul's memory of his imprint kissing him then pulling away played on a loop, even if they could think the situation through rationally, it was hard not to feel the sting of rejection through their packmate. Paul was reeling, Seth could feel the waves of anger and sadness that ran through him. Not good enough, never good enough continued on a loop as he ran, the feelings were so raw, it was hard to think clearly, even if Paul could decipher her reasons, he would still spiral because this was about him and how he did not know how to handle his emotions.

Bella was literally perfect for him, some fate had decided that for them but he was far from perfect for her or anyone, he could barely contain the grief that brought him. What was wrong with him? Bella would eventually see what a massive fuck up he was. Seth interrupted his thoughts, he wasn't sure what he could even say to his packmate to pull him back up from this hole he'd dug himself into. "Paul, you're not a fuck up." He had known the older wolf his whole life, he couldn't remember a time that he didn't admire or respect him and that was just a general perspective. Paul did so much to help his mom, since he was just a kid he helped raise his sister Katie, he worked when he was able to to help with the bills and he graduated with above average grades, how could he not know how remarkable that was? As far as he could tell Bella was very quickly falling for his packmate. Did Paul really not see the way she watched him, the way she moved around him, he was someone she trusted whole heartedly and Seth was positive that she loved him. Paul ran until his legs were tired, he was never normally this dramatic and couldn't understand why this bothered him so much. Quil had been quietly listening in. "Maybe because you've always had it easy with girls." Because Paul Lahote was a ladies man, females seemed to love him and Quil couldn't remember a time that he had ever been 'rejected' or turned down. It didn't happen. "Plus doesn't the relationship change when you become more...physical with your imprint?" When Sam was 18 he imprinted on Jacob's fourteen year old sister, things were awkward for a long time, Sam fought hard against the bond because he didn't want to be looked at like some pervert and Rachel was a young hormonal girl who had this instant connection with this man beast who walked around shirtless and buff, it was torturous to be in his head until she was old enough that he could actually think about her like his equal. There were lots of unexpected outbursts from the sheer frustration he felt being ruled by some supernatural bond, eventually though when the nature of their relationship changed, he seemed to settle down. It was primal to want to mate, they were barely considered adults, their bodies were overflowing with testosterone constantly, not meeting those needs usually led to pent up stress and anger, up until Paul imprinted on Bella he was actively meeting those needs, this was probably the longest he'd been without sex. Paul paused at Quil's thoughts, could it really be that simple? Quil and Seth thought so.

Paul had slunk quietly through the back door of his house, his mom left a towel out for him, his tattered clothes were sitting on a pile on the sofa, he went to shower and get ready for bed. When he finally checked his phone he found several texts and missed calls from Leah, she was angry that he made Bella cry. Paul sighed heavily and texted her back, he was sorry and he was going to fix it. That kiss though, he had to give his imprint credit she was brave to make the first move, he obviously didn't have the balls to do that sort of thing anymore. He closed his eyes as he replayed the memory, he would fix it.

The morning light shone through the cracks in the curtains as Bella struggled to open her eyes, they were puffy again, she reached for her phone, it was still early enough that she could probably sleep a little longer, her phone buzzed in her hand. It was a text from Paul. Sorry for being a dick. She sighed he had nothing to be sorry for though, she should be the one apologizing. I should have heard you out, I freaked because I guess I thought maybe I made things uncomfortable for you. Paul confessed. There were a million things going through her mind and she wasn't sure how to begin to reply because maybe he felt bad but so did she. I'll forgive you if you forgive me for being a complete spazz. She replied, Bella watched those three little dots as he typed back. Forgiven. She breathed out a sigh of relief. Maybe we should still talk though...after work or something. He told her, she agreed and then got up to get ready for her second day of work.

Leah was watching her as she prepared herself a coffee. "Everything okay Bells?" She seemed concerned, Bella gave herself a mental slap, of course she was concerned. It was only last night, less than 13 hours earlier that she was sobbing hysterically. "I kissed Paul..." Leah's mouth fell open. "I kissed him then when things got heavier I sort of pushed him away." She heaved out a sigh. "It was amazing Leah...but then I ruined it, I just kept thinking and thinking and then froze up." Bella looked sad as she relived the memory. "He thought it was him and then he seemed to freak out, I asked him to bring me back here and then he drove off before I could really explain anything." Leah seemed to understand now. "That's probably the first time Paul's ever been shut down like that." She chuckled, Bella seemed confused so she continued to explain. "He was a player, maybe not like city boy player but he's had his share of girls around here anyway." The realization hit Bella a little too strongly. "Oh." The younger woman said, her face had fallen and Leah felt bad. "He's not like that anymore Bells, he's been a one woman man since he imprinted on you." Bella frowned, it had been what she was worried about. What did he even think of her without being drawn to her the way he was? "It is just the imprint then." She finally said, she felt a knot in her stomach as her heart dropped. Leah shook her head quickly. "It's not like that at all Bells...is that really what you think?" Bella shrugged defeatedly, it was exactly what she thought though. "He's not forced to feel anything for you, the imprint just draws him to you...the love and shit...that's all Paul." Bella blinked herself out of the spell she was in while Leah continued. "I thought you knew this. It brought him to you when you needed someone the most Bella, this is why it happened the way it did, I mean that's what I think anyway...everyone has their own theories. He is still Paul under all that mystical shit, I would know I can still hear and see inside his head." Leah rolled her eyes dramatically. Bella breathed finally, she thanked Leah and they finished getting ready in silence.

The shop was considerably quiet when Bella walked in, she looked around hoping to see Paul. What Leah had told her had sort of stomped down the self doubt she was feeling. Jacob was in the office waiting for her with what she was sure was a forced smile. "Bella, come...sit." He said through his teeth. Her heart began to beat a little more rapidly now, did she screw something up the day before? She sat down on the chair across from him. "Sooo..." He drew out a breath. "My sister Rebecca was supposed to come in and train you through the rest of this process and she bailed...again." He said through gritted teeth. "I am hoping we can get through as much of this as possible so I can get back out in the shop with the boys." Bella was afraid to say anything because he seemed to be really stressed out. "So...you're not firing me?" She asked quietly. He frowned before really looking at her. "Of course not!" Jacob said seriously. "I just want to get you set up quickly, it's been stressing me out." He told her honestly, he was seriously considering taking the other 'R' out of his shops name, Rachel wouldn't have pulled this shit on him. "So let's get started." He said, getting back to business. There was a lot for Bella to learn but she was quickly becoming familiar with the programs and paperwork she needed. Paul and Jared must have been called out pretty far as they returned close to lunch time with food for all of them. They gathered in the office after the men all washed up.

"Bella is killing it today." Jacob said through a mouth full of food, Jared and Paul nodded and mumbled a "Nice job babe." and "Fucking Eh." Bella tried really hard not to concentrate on the fact that Paul had called her babe because she had been so unsure of what their encounter the previous night meant. She smiled and shyly thanked them all, she was honestly really glad for the break because as well as she was doing she was terrified she was going to forget something. The afternoon went smoothly enough she was able to figure things out and Jake peaked in on her pretty regularly, so did Paul. He offered her a ride home after their day was over, she happily accepted. He began driving a different direction and she didn't think much of it until they were stopped outside the youth centre. A young girl she had seen around several times had come bounding up to the SUV and jumped in with a couple of her friends. Paul was grinning at her. "Katie this Bella, Bella this is my baby sister." The young girl reached forward to shake her hand. "It's nice to meet you. Pauly talks about you a lot...like a lot a lot." The girl said as she burst into giggles with her friends. Paul rolled his eyes but didn't deny it, his imprint blushed just as he expected her to. "Nice to meet you Katie." The girls continued to talk in the back until Paul dropped the girls, who Bella assumed were sisters off. Katie chatted to Paul about her day at school and the youth program she attended afterwards. Bella listened contentedly, it was comforting to see a piece of Paul's life she had never been a part of before then. They drove up to a large yellow house. "Is this where you live?" Bella asked as he parked, Paul nodded before Katie cut in. "He fixed it up for us." The girl stated proudly. Bella looked back at Katie and smiled. "He did a wonderful job, its beautiful, I love the colour." "It's my favourite colour, him and mom let me pick." Bella looked at Paul, she knew he was amazing in a lot of ways but this was a whole new level. "You should come have supper with us, mom isn't home from work yet and Paul usually cooks, well I help him but he's scared I'll burn or cut myself so I usually only do the easy stuff." The girl rambled on, Bella looked at Paul, he seemed to be waiting for her to answer. "Sure, I mean if that's okay." They both nodded.

Bella helped Katie cut up vegetables as Paul got cleaned up, she always hated cooking and maybe it was because she was forced into the role of caretaker when her grandparents became too ill to look after her, this however seemed comfortable. "Are you Paul's girlfriend yet?" Katie asked without giving Bella the chance to answer she continued. "I know you're his imprint or whatever its called but are you guys like official yet?" Bella was almost too stunned to answer, she wasn't quite sure what to say to the younger girl, thankfully Paul had come barrelling in, he must have heard the whole thing. Bella met his eyes, that question burning through her mind. "Yea...I think I am his girlfriend now." His smile made her knees go weak. "Finally. Mom's gonna be so happy, she's always asking Pauly when she's going to meet you." Bella laughed at Paul's expression, he looked genuinely happy but by the tinge of pink on his cheeks she guessed he was feeling a little caught out. Katie continued to chatter away while the three of them prepared dinner, she was so bubbly and her energy was contagious Bella found herself laughing out loud most of the way through. Paul's mom walked in not long after they started the food, she was wearing pink scrubs with green frogs all over the shirt. "Mom! Bella's here, she's Paul's girlfriend now. She helped us make supper tonight, she is so cool, did you know she lived in New York?" The older woman hugged her daughter laughing before making her way over to Paul and Bella. "Ma...this is Bella." Paul said, he seemed so nervous and Bella did her best not to let that bother her, she extended her hand. "Bella this is my mom Denise." The older woman smiled before gently pulling her into a hug, at first Bella tensed up not knowing what to do but something in her just sort of dropped her walls and she hugged her back. "I'm so glad to finally meet you Bella. Your dad was a friend of the family and when Paul told me you were his imprint, I was overjoyed, you are stuck with us now." She joked as she released her, Bella couldn't help how easily the chuckle slipped out, she felt so welcome.

The four of them sat down and enjoyed a meal over small talk, Katie carried them through their conversations, Denise told Bella about her job at the hospital in Forks, she also worked at the clinic in La Push some weekends, she seemed passionate about her job and even more so for her children. Paul was fairly quiet through most of their conversations, Bella tried not to overthink why that was. As it got later Bella knew it was time for her to head back to Leah's, Denise and Katie both hugged her and made her promise to come back as soon as she could, Bella was positive that was a promise she could follow through with. Paul drove her back, he was still quiet. "Paul?" She didn't want to meet his eyes for fear of what she might see she continued. "You have a beautiful family." She said simply, she meant it and though she was certain he must know it too she thought he needed to hear it. Paul blinked, he hadn't been expecting that at all, he was afraid his mom and sister scared Bella off in all honesty. "They really are something." They were his entire world, even after he imprinted that part of his world could never have shifted, he was proud of that. They arrived to Leah's and Bella could feel her palms beginning to sweat, she didn't want a repeat of the first night. "Did you wanna come in for some tea...or something?" Bella asked him hesitantly. Paul beamed at her, throwing the butterflies in her stomach into a frenzy. "Yea I'd like that."

Jacob and Leah were sitting on the couch cuddling, Bella stopped and blinked in surprise. Apparently she was the only one who hadn't known about the pair. "Oh sorry." She said as she turned toward the kitchen with Paul on her tail. She started the kettle as Paul watched her leaning against the counter. "You didn't know...?" He said as she scurried around the kitchen searching for mugs and tea bags. "I mean it's so obvious now that I think back on everything but no..." She laughed. "I really didn't know." They sat down at the table in the kitchen. "I'm sorry about last night Paul." Bella finally said, she had been thinking about it all day. "I just...I froze up when I thought about everything." She felt a little better being able to actually explain to him. "I have never ever really been in any serious relationships before...like ever and guys didn't seem to like me for me so I ended up doing a lot of pretending and it didn't help that Renee was putting it in my head how shitty I was..." Bella inhaled. "I believed it...I mean sometimes I still believe it. I went to therapy for years when I lived with my grandparents...then they died and Renee plucked me back up and undid everything." Bella didn't want to be sad anymore but this wound was so out of control and she had to stop trying to cover it up. "I don't know how to accept attention or affection...and I know with you it wouldn't ever be anything but genuine feelings of love but please be patient with me Paul...I am..." Damaged she thought as she searched for words. "Hurting...I am going to freeze up and push you away but its not because I don't care about you because I really, truly do. I just need to work on me." Bella finished. Paul was really proud of her for getting through all that without breaking down. "I'll always be whatever you need me to be Bella." He spoke with a sincerity that made her heart swell, it was more of a promise than anything else. "I haven't really been serious with anyone either..." Paul admitted. "And I have never ever felt this way about anyone before and I know it's not some wolf magic. I have a lot of shit that I have to work on too...like handling my feelings. I've pushed everything down to the point where I literally explode into a wolf every few weeks. I am not gonna lie Bella I used a lot of girls to get what I wanted, its not something I'm proud of, I just wanted to feel something I guess..." Bella reached over to grab his hand. "So we are both a little...fucked up." She said laughing, he shrugged and joined in. "Guess we are." Paul felt like a giant weight had been lifted off his chest, he felt freer and he guessed it had a lot to do with Bella's relief. Imprinting was so fucked up, he still didn't quite understand how it worked but he was glad it had worked in their favour. They eventually joined Jacob and Leah in the living room, he gently pulled Bella into his side she sighed contentedly. Paul was positive that his day would not have ended like this but he was glad it did. Bella had called herself his girlfriend, met the two most important in the world, aside from her of course and they all hit it off. Bella's soft snores snapped him out of his daze, he was afraid to move so he didn't. Leah snickered at him from the other sofa. "You are so whipped." She said but she was smiling happily at him, Paul shrugged. "Yea." Paul replied honestly as he held his imprint, his girlfriend a little closer, yea he was.

AN: This could easily be the last chapter...but its not. I have a couple more. My apologies for the delay...its probably going to be another week or so before I can get the next one out. I would love to hear thoughts on this chapter, thank you for your reviews, as well as adding to your favourites and alerts.