When Naruto wakes up on the crisp white hospital sheets, he instantly knows something is wrong. For one, the Jinjuuriki does not end up in the Konoha hospital very often, rarely overnight. He blinks away the crusted sleep clumped between his eyelashes, coughing the moment his dry tongue lifts from the bed of his mouth.

The door slams open in tandem with the heart monitor raging to life as he coughs harder. A hand slides behind his head and back, supporting him as the bed slowly inclines to sit him upright. A foam cup and plastic straw are held steady in front of him. He sips at it enthusiastically, grateful when the buildup residue in his mouth is finally able to be washed down.

"Easy, brat, easy." Tsunade's firm voice carries him down from his discomforted panic as he concentrates on the small chore of breathing. The moment his lips draw away from the straw, his arm slinks under the rough box printed fabric of the gown he's wearing, a single finger beginning to trace over the smooth skin of his sternum.

Instantly, he engages in a battle within himself to shove down the terrifying ray of hope that dares to say it was a bad dream. He wouldn't be in the hospital if it were. He looks up when Tsunade reaches forward to pull his arm away from where they both know he should still be wounded. Having had inhuman healing all his life, he's never once thought it weird to not scar. But as his fingers trace the very place Sasuke's fingers once did, he can't help but feel like something is missing. There's a lingering pain that seems to go deeper than his skin, and for a brief moment, he considers asking Grannie if she healed him wrong.

"You did your best, Naruto." She says instead, ignorant to his inner conflict, a rare glimmer of empathy in her eyes as she addresses him by his first name.

He nods, and says yes to all her questions because he's practised enough to know that her list on the clipboard is the only thing standing between him and freedom.

Choji and the rest of the team thankfully make a full recovery, but Naruto can't bring himself to go see them as they heal. There's a well of guilt inside his heart that tries to overflow when he thinks about how their scrapes and breaks meant nothing, all because he couldn't bring Sasuke back.

Gaara approaches him just before his second departure from the Leaf Village. He finds the blonde perched on a terracotta roof and for a while, they simply lounge side-by-side and watch the sun descend into burning red and pink hues. They seem to find understanding within the howl of the wind whistling between them. Even once all the sunlight is bled from the sky, they stay unmoving, Gaara's comfort within the darkness painted by the sunken purple skin cradling his eyes.

"You said you'd do anything to protect your precious people." Gaara states, tone devoid from emotion.

"Yeah," Naruto clears his throat, "but apparently, I'm not very good at it." He grumbles, eyes finally slipping from the navy sea to study the dusty surface under him.

He sees Gaara turn to him out of the corner of his eye. "Why do you act as if it is over?" He questions bluntly.

Naruto's short fuse made shorter by his emotional exhaustion burns out, adding a scratch to his voice. "Because it is! Sasuke is gone, and I put my friends in the hospital for nothing!" He huffed angrily, scuffing his hands through dishevelled spikes of hair.

Gaara doesn't answer instantly, waiting for Naruto's exhales to stop flaring his nostrils before he decides to speak again. He was not ignorant of his own lack of empathy, and indeed, he did not understand Naruto's inner conflict. His hope shines too bright for Gaara to ever see eye-to-eye without squinting. When Naruto looks to be ready, he says simply,

"Dead is gone."

The statement sparks frustration within Naruto— a biting remark on his tongue— but the heat from his blood is swept away by icy winds, cooling him slowly with the realisation the Sand-Nin is right.

He swallows the thought and finally turns back to meet Gaara's dull green eyes.

"Hey," Naruto says, no signs of his previous brood of thoughts.

Gaara continues to stare, showing Naruto already has his full attention, and he's not really sure why Naruto had to verbally confirm it.

Naruto's upper body leans to the side, purposely putting himself off balance. His shoulder collides with Gaara's, and he freezes up instantly. Naruto's weight is slumped against the Red-head's arm, completely lax. He's beginning to look like he's regretting coming up here to comfort the Uzumaki, when said boy's voice breaks the shiver of wind.

"You're a good friend."

Gaara gives himself whiplash, and later that day, scares the hell out of his siblings when Naruto flings himself into Gaara's— surprisingly— open arms.

Naruto starts his days anew after then, each moment of happiness acting as a single stitch to the patchwork over the hole in his chest. The emptiness under his skin that only he can see.

Sakura comforts him with softness no one else seemed to have time for. He's beyond grateful to his teammate and curses himself for not genuinely appreciating her sooner. She watches him scream his lungs raw, drilling spirals into training logs from dawn to dust. Wiping single tears from the corners of his mourning blue eyes before they have the chance to fall— because they're Ninja, and Ninja do not cry. She holds his hand with fingers that are too thin, too nimble— to ever feel the same— and leads them to Ichiraku. It fills his belly with warmth, but not in the same way that Sasuke's curry would.

[Trust Sasuke to somehow find a way to make ramen unappealing.]

He forces himself to swallow all the broth, stubborn to not let Sasuke— even in his absence— win. He cast a sidelong glance at Sakura, who sips at her tea. "Do you miss him, Sakura-chan?" He asks.

Her brows dip as she turns to him, adopting a sad look. "Oh, Naruto," She says softly, "you can't miss what you never had." Her expression turns bittersweet, a smile too tight as she places her cup loudly back to the table.

Sakura had sliced Sasuke clean from her heart, shedding the weight of unrequited love from her body. He watches her bloom from bud, the potential for greatness unfurling her into something amazing. Ironically, he thinks she has begun to leave him behind. Sakura leaps eagerly into what her future holds without Sasuke, and it is bright, colourful and vibrant with rewards. Tsunade trains her until she is barely recognisable from the pale shell of her academy self.

He holds her tightly and watches as she grows into a figure of fearsome grace and power.

He doesn't have a lot to lose when he agrees to leave the Village with Pervy Sage. Tsunade says he needs to get out of the Village before it suffocates him, Shizune says she shouldn't say such controversial things as leader of said "suffocating" Village.

Sakura bids him goodbye with a crushing hold, and tells him, "You come back, Naruto. You come home to us, to me." He hugs her back, inhales the smell of her shampoo and imprints her to memory. Doesn't speak a word about how unsettling her departing words sit within him.

[Doesn't dare tell anyone that the Village hasn't really felt like home since Sasuke left.]

While travelling, Naruto realises that Grannie is a lot smarter than she looks, because, for the first time in his life, he discovers freedom. He learns that he's been breathing from within in a cage, that the air outside of the fire nation feels different within his cells. Jiraiya teaches him to live outside of routine, how to barter with merchants, how to live off the clothes on your body, and how to make quick easy money. Many learning curves bend Naruto into awkward situations— namely, the curve of a woman's bust against his spine as his Perverted teacher sends him an enthusiastic thumbs-up, and swats a palm of cash on the table for two rooms.

Naruto isn't really sure how to emotionally feel about discovering this new sexual feature of life. Really discovering, since it turns out to be utterly different to his research for the Oiroke no Jutsu. Leaving him boneless and satisfied on a purely physical level, but mentally not really understanding the hype, and wishing the tea house girl didn't feel so impersonal. It had been so long since anyone touched him intimately, leaving him more than willing when the brunette had eased him back into the cushioned bed and whispered in his ear with a voice sweet like candy, "don't worry handsome, baby's gonna' show you a good time."

In the morning, Jiraiya loudly claps him on the back as they set off. He doesn't tell his concerns to Pervy Sage, because he seemed proud of Naruto for whatever reason— and that he doesn't mind feeling.

He tries it again a few times through their travels, but every time seems to concrete the theory it's clearly not really his thing, and he would instead get in the hot spring himself rather than watch the other side.

They'd passed through Suna some weeks ago, when Naruto had insisted they stop so that he could smother Gaara in a hug, and gush about his travels and Gaara's promoting position to Kazekage. They were passing through a small trading post along the outskirts of the land of Sand when Naruto caught the tail of a nagging familiar feeling. He left Pervy Sage at the bar, informing the other he was finding a place to crash for the night. The skitter along his skin became further irritating the closer he tried to recognise it. It sat like an odour in the air, a weight on his mind even in the darkness of his own hotel room. His senses suddenly flared in alarm as he rips a kunai from his weapon pouch, spinning heel to face the person sitting casually on the edge of his bed.

He recognises the silhouette quickly, eyes widening with recognition. His heart only seems to drum faster when he realises who it is.

"Bastard." He grits, barely able to recognise his own words.

"You're as un-observant as ever, idiot." Sasuke replies, voice smug as it ever was. It lacks it's boyish high tone, instead replacing it with a deep sharpness that makes it hard to focus on what he's actually saying.

Naruto had dreamt of the day he would finally meet Sasuke again many times. He imagined it in a way that made his heart ache and his blood boil, how he would hurt Sasuke so bad he might begin to understand how much Naruto was hurting. He would drag Sasuke back with him kicking and screaming, the hatred in their eyes burning a path across battlefields.

He never expected to unite under the cover of night in a hotel room on foreign lands.

"What are you doing here?" He asks, trying to hide his eager curiosity behind his anger.

"I'd imagine similar reasons to you." He says with a slight shrug, drawing Naruto's attention how his hair seems to be longer, his fringe sitting differently over his face.

Naruto's brain whirrs at the thought of the Snake Sannin in the vicinity. "Orochimaru's here?" He growls accusingly.

Sasuke frowns. "No. Some of us don't need a babysitter to know when we're leashed." He returns pointedly with equal levels of aggravation.

"I'm not-" Naruto's teeth snap before Sasuke interrupts him, glaring.

"You're still so blind."

"You left, what do you know-"

"What I know was enough to warrant my reasons for leaving." Sasuke snaps, barely loud enough to be called a shout.

Naruto pauses where his younger self would have no doubt retaliated wildly. "Then tell me." Naruto swallows, hating how the plea is so apparent in his voice. "Don't go back to that slimy bastard." He tags on when Sasuke gives no such indication of replying, his annoyance dwindling as his chest begins to ache at the thought.

"And instead, what, go back to the Leaf?" Sasuke says, disgust and loathing entwined with mention of the Village.

Naruto looks down at the floor, struggling to conjure the will to defend Konoha, hating the way he feels as though he's betraying his Village and his precious people when he croaks out, "come back to me."

He hears Sasuke get up from the bed, shoes shuffling across the crummy carpet to stand in front of him.

"I tried to kill you" He quips, as if to remind him. The blonde doesn't dare look up, shaking his head in bowed refusal.

"Shut up, Bastard. You're a liar." Naruto's not an idiot, he's not, no matter how much anyone calls him one. He's had more than enough time on his travels to ponder and think. Sasuke always had the best aim in every class. The only thing better than his aim was his mastery of manipulation, spinning someone into the pirouette of his Sharingan was only one method. He could have his opponent wrapped up into thinking they were losing before they actually were— a skill Naruto would never think to harness.

Sasuke wouldn't kill him, he just needed Naruto to think he would. To hurt Naruto enough to keep him from blindly running back a hundred times over.

"I hurt you," Sasuke says instead, uncaring to deny Naruto's claim.

Naruto's head finally perks, tilting ever so slightly to the side in feline challenge, staring into midnight orbs. "Make it up to me."

"How presumptuous of you." He mocks, smirking in a very Sasuke way, making Naruto realise just how much he missed that stupid, smug face.

He barely leans forward before Naruto makes a predatory grab at Sasuke's waist, crushing the gap between them with toned, hard bodies. Sasuke hardly falls willingly into Naruto's space, allowing himself to be pulled into the slot fitted at Naruto's front. Their lips collide roughly, all biting pressure and desperate licks to taste as much of each other as possible.

The wound against his heart bleeds, reminding Naruto of the pain this cruel person has caused him. But even now, Naruto reasons with his sorrow, shows it how Sasuke seems to carry inside him his own sadness, some sort of agony that ignites at the sight of Naruto. He supposes maybe, he should be happy that he can at least cause Sasuke that pain, but then again, he supposes that he's known that all along.

Xx Smut Scene starts here xX

With a hard shove, Sasuke falls back onto the bed, mattress creaking as Naruto descends over the other boy, trapping him with the cage of his limbs and forcing their hips to jut together. Neither of them let out a peep of acknowledgement, but their eyes fly open to the issue of challenge.

"You've changed, Naruto." The Uchiha whispers, voice sultry with delight. It causes a spark of pride crackle to life, because he has. When Sasuke was still in the Village, Naruto wasn't able to handle a mere flicker of the passionate flare he now possesses. Touch-shy and desires unknown, he hadn't wanted to be ready. But things changed, he grew up.

Sasuke's outfit also changed, he noticed, as the moonlight finally reveals the side profile of Sasuke's body pressed beneath him.

"You too, bastard, you look really stupid." He scoffs with a snicker under his breath.

Sasuke scowls, raising a single leg sharply in response. Naruto's eyes rip open in instinctual panic, twisting himself awkwardly to grab Sasuke's knee with an iron grip before it makes contact with his crotch.

"Hey! What the hell, Bastard!?" He yelps, a little breathless.

"I can leave now, you know." Sasuke grits, eyes squinted with the threat. In response, something possessive crawls out from the recesses of Naruto's mind, focus seeking out the muscular shoulder beneath him hiding the mark he'd last left claim on when he had felt like this. He could feel the monster within him rise from it's tamed slumber, knowing his eyes had changed by the way Sasuke's gaze sharpens, interested.

Naruto feels a fingerprint dare to thumb at his lips as a palm rests over his cheekbone, and all he wants is to bite those wicked fingers away. A nimble finger slips between sharp incisors, taunting Naruto with his pulse against tongue, as it shyly laps at the digit. A warm trail of salvia draws across his chin as the hand recedes, holding his face as if to force his attention back to Sasuke's thin lips.

They kiss softer this time, partly in wariness to not tear Sasuke's mouth to pieces with Naruto's teeth. Quick fingers waste no time in shedding themselves of clothing, admiring the way moonlight bathes over the shudders of defined muscle. Gone was their previous baby fat, cushioned innocence no longer hiding the angle of hip bones and sharpness of chiselled chests. Their hands wander, hungry to trace the new, yet so profoundly intimate edges of their bodies. Hazed red eyes ensnare each other over panting breaths, showing the commitment Sasuke had taken to memorise every skin quivering detail.

Naruto can feel the brief points of contact setting off a burn under his skin that he fears will increase beyond their control. His mouth releases suction from around a pink nipple with a wet sound, ghosting his teeth over the side of a firm pectoral as he glides upward. Sasuke's hand grabs a fistful of gold hair, unguided pressure neither a push or pull as those deadly jaws lap at the Curse Mark like a lion ready to feast. Soiled, dirtied down to his blood, by a vile existence. Naruto wanted to tear it from flesh as much as Sasuke craved the purge. With neither able to be quenched, they remained stagnant, throttled by intoxicating desires. Teeth mar skin like a glutton through butter, leaving the drag of red over collarbones and blotching into ugly smears of vandalism as Naruto selfishly writes himself into the Uchiha's skin.

Sasuke's breath finally breaks from its confines, rattling out from his throat in a guttural, prideless sound. He tugs on Naruto's hair hard enough to throw him to the side, toppling them over as his twists, spine curling him gracefully around to lay slyly atop his partner.

Naruto snarls lightly, not appreciating their swap of positions and the lack of access to milky skin. Sasuke's expression twists into something positively nasty and rocks his sex against the groove of Naruto's V-line, barely allowing their scorched skin to touch.

"Hahh, fuckin-" Naruto's breath catches "-tease."

"You wish you were fucking a tease." The other boy quips.

Naruto's brain stutters. "Wait-"

"When you fucked those girls," Sasuke punctuates, a firm grip sliding down Naruto's member, as if to imitate the clench of a tea-house whore. Naruto's head tilts back towards the ceiling as his mouth falls open slightly.

"Did they squeal and moan under you like a lover? Drive your cock into their cunts with meaningless abandon? Did you paw at their breasts like a suckling kitten, desperate and needy?" He questions, words deadly as he pumps harder on Naruto's dick and stares openly to watch the blonde's features scrunch in pleasure, sweat beading down his brow.

"Yes- Fuck, Sasuke-" He says between panting breaths, hardly registering the string of fiction-worthy words cascading from the person he thought to be a prude.

"Did you like it?" The raven pries, roughly shoving the juvenile hips below him back to the bed from where they had raised to buck further into the warmth of Sasuke's hand.

"Hahh, no- no, felt, felt wrong- gods, no, I swear-"

"Well, I 'swear,' I'm never going to let you enjoy the sweetness of a slut again." Sasuke interrupts, watching intently as craving eyes fly open to fully look at him, maybe to even check it wasn't an insane figure of Naruto's imagination.

"What? I said I didn't-" Confusion fumbles his words only to be cut off again when Sasuke's torso above him drops, their chests flush as he pins down tanned arms whilst nuzzling his face into the side of Naruto's jaw.

"I'm going to fuck you, until your body remembers nothing but the shape of me inside you the moment you think of sex." He whispers, the words drying the moisture straight from Naruto's mouth and leave it dripping from his prick.

Sasuke bends his body until he feels even his pride stretch, then bends him further.

[He would've cried out that he was going to break, if only they didn't already know that he was a broken man— fractured in at least ten places at any given time, his heart brutally divided by the chunk Sasuke had laid claim on all those years ago.]

They do it several times, again, and again with only brief lapses in exhaustion between. A couple times they have to pause to check they haven't rocked the mattress off the bed frame— or into the wall. Their bodies are disgusting, even after the brief shower post first round when they both discovered how much better it would be without the grime of a full day's travel.

The moment sunlight crept into the room to lounge over the stained hotel carpet, Sasuke had extracted himself from the tangle of Naruto's limbs— as if he too, had to leave with the darkness of night.

Naruto's whole body ached with foreign pains, and even with eyelashes batting away dried sleep, he made a full-body lunge to stop his former teammate leaving the bed. A whine slips from between his lips as he catches the other man around the waist and hugs firmly, forehead leaning against a back painted with barely scabbed claw marks and bruises.

Sasuke sighs, and in a surprisingly domestic manor, runs his fingers softly over the arms around his middle. "I'm never going back, Naruto." He says with certainty.

"To the Village?" Naruto grumbles, voice muffled with sleep.

"To the Village." He confirms, waiting for the question they both knew would follow.

"-And to me?" Naruto asks, barely audible in the silent ambience of sunrise.

"Dumbass," Sasuke replies instead of giving explanation, his tone lacking a trace of malice.

It's very Sasuke-like. In his irritating, characteristically douchebag -way.

Xx End of Smut xX

Naruto doesn't remember what happened after that, memory terrifyingly blank. He's a little insecure as to whether it was exhaustion or product of Sasuke's Sharingan. Still, either way, no trace of him could be found when Naruto wakes the second time. Something in him feels different after that night, fulfilled like someone has finally coloured in the blanks of his mind. He feels the crevasse dividing his heart and his dream gape wider, because he stops thinking about going back to Leaf at all, and instead starts thinking about the next time he will see Sasuke. His dream of being Hokage seems to dwindle under the freedom of fresh air, and he's afraid of the day he won't even feel like Naruto anymore.