Tempted

"I still can't believe the war is over," Finn said. Finn, Poe, and Rey were sprawled out over the lounge seating of the Millennium Falcon. The table and surrounding area was covered in the debris from the celebration party. Chewbacca had thrown out the others at least an hour ago, insisting he wanted to sleep, but he had allowed Rey's two closest friends in the Resistance to stay behind with her, provided they kept quiet.

"I still can't believe Kylo Ren made it about the opportunity to be with you, Rey," Poe said, laughing as he lifted his bottle to his mouth. He frowned when nothing came out and dropped it on the seat next to him. "We got any more..?"

"Nah, man. Fresh out, and I think Rey's got the right to what's left. Imagine, having that monster be interested in claiming you," Finn said and shuddered.

Rey quietly studied Finn. Though Kylo had publicly credited his interest in her for motivating him to end the war, their bond had remained a secret so far. She wondered again if she should tell them.

Poe shrugged. "At least it's not personal. I mean, he's clearly just after her power."

Rey flinched. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Poe stared at her with his brow pinched together. "Your powers. He's after your Jedi power. Probably just hopes to breed some super-powerful kids or something. I mean, it's not like you're some spectacular beauty or something."

Rey's jaw dropped in disgust. "Well I'm not ugly!"

"You're definitely not ugly," Finn reassured her. "But Poe does have a point. I mean, even Maz has more mojo than you, and she's literally a millennium old!"

"Mojo?" Rey asked, confused.

"Sex appeal," Poe clarified. "You have better looks than Maz, but you move like a droid. I mean, an extremely powerful, skilled warrior droid, but if you hid the hair and boobs, no one would assume you were a woman."

"I have sex appeal!" Rey protested.

Finn snorted loudly. "No. You don't."

"I do!" Rey insisted. "Just because I don't use it on you two-"

"Or any other person you have ever interacted with. I mean, I thought you were into women for a time, Rey, but you didn't treat the ladies any differently," Finn said.

"See? Droid," Poe stated. He put down his empty bottle and eyed the others, looking for any missed drops. "Maybe she's asexual? And that's okay if you are, Rey. I mean, you know I have no room to judge you about anything related to sexual interests."

"He's already bought an outfit for Hux," Finn muttered.

"Yes, yes, I did," Poe said with a huge grin. "Black leather with plenty of buckles and a few very well-placed holes…"

Rey blushed bright red at the image of what Hux and Poe might be doing together later. "But we just completed the peace treaty. How do you know that he…"

"I know," Poe said with smug confidence. "Our eyes met, and there was a mutual understanding. He's going to beg me for mercy and love every moment of it. Don't look at me like that, Rey. We'll use a safe word."

Rey looked at Poe and frowned. "What's a safe word?"

"A word to indicate when he actually needs me to stop."

Rey found she only had more questions, but she decided to drop it. "Well how do you know I haven't had this eye contact thing with Ben?"

"Ben? Oh, you mean Kylo Ren? You call him Ben? I thought only his mother still did that." Poe said. "Well, I've not seen anything of interest from Kylo Ren. Honestly, I'm not entirely certain he's not asexual himself. I mean, he never looked at girls or boys properly when he was a kid. Finn, you ever see or hear of anything when you were in the First Order?"

Finn's eyes went wide in thought, and he shook his head after a moment. "Nothing. Absolutely nothing, and there were quite a few jokes about how he needed to get laid. Him and Hux both. Say, you don't think…"

"No, he's not," Rey said firmly, sitting up straight. "And he does find me attractive." She was certain of it, though she couldn't pinpoint why. "It's not my powers he's after."

Poe and Finn both made faces. "You're saying," started Finn, "That Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader of the First Order, would have noticed a little scavenger from a nowhere planet for some reason other than power? I mean, besides the map to the Luke Skywalker fiasco? Rey, he could have nearly any woman in the galaxy. You don't stand out as a beauty."

Rey jutted her jaw out. She was certain there was something between her and Ben beyond his respect for her ability with the force. They did enjoy their time together, of course, challenging each other in discussion and training, but surely there was something more, right? Surely he thought of her the way she thought of him, right?

"You've had some moments alone with him, haven't you?" Poe asked. "Has he ever tried to kiss you or find excuses to touch you for no reason?"

Rey's heart sank. No, Ben hadn't. The only time he touched her outside combat was when she had invited him to take her hand. He hadn't initiated anything.

"Oh, Rey, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you didn't know he wasn't interested in you that way, or that it was important to you," Finn said. He scooted over, wrapped an arm around her shoulders, and sighed. "Look, maybe he is interested, and he just needs an invitation."

"Yea, you should try seducing him first!" Poe said with glee. "He may not know you're interested in those sorts of things right now. I mean, have you ever tried wearing something revealing around him?"

"What!? No!" Rey said. She didn't even own any revealing clothes.

"Or casually put yourself in his personal space to see how he would respond?" Finn asked.

Rey shook her head vehemently. Who did that? Wouldn't that be rude?

"What about just dropping something when he's around and bending at the waist to pick it up so he can admire your… assets," Poe chimed in.

"Assets?" Rey asked, hopelessly lost.

"Your butt," Finn explained.

"Is it worth looking at?" she asked, twisting around in the seat to get a look.

"Yes!" Both men exclaimed.

"Rey, you don't know anything about seduction, do you?" Poe asked.

Rey's cheeks flamed. "I do. I just… have other techniques," she lied.

Finn cackled. "Well, good luck using those other techniques on Kylo Ren. Let us know how it goes."

"I think I'm done for the night. Finn, walk me back?" Poe asked.

"Sure thing," Finn said. "Night Rey!"

"Night," Rey muttered as the two men left. She could be sexy, right? She stood up slowly, started collecting the bottles and trash by hand into a large bag, and then hung her head as she remembered she had the force. With a gesture of her fingers, the mess lifted itself up and flew into the bag.

"They don't know anything," Rey complained as she tied the bag, took it down the ramp, and dumped it in a general garbage collection bin at the spaceport. She wiped her hands on her drab tunic, realized what she was doing, and sighed. "Just because I don't go out of my way to be sexy doesn't mean I don't know how!"

Rey stomped her way back up the ramp, closed it, and checked on Chewie. He was asleep in the copilot seat, where he had slept every time Rey had been aboard overnight. Chewie claimed the bunks were too small, but Rey suspected he was just old-fashioned enough to feel she deserved some privacy as a woman.

Rey smiled fondly at her friend and headed to the sleeping quarters on the ship, which was basically her private cabin these days. She reached under her bunk to pull out the drawer where she kept her clothing.

It was full of drab earth-colored tunics, equally drab bottoms, and a selection of plain breast wraps. Rey twisted her mouth and bit her lip. "Well, I can always buy new clothes." She opened up her credit pouch and looked inside. "Or maybe not," she said with a sigh. The Resistance had been nearly bankrupt when the First Order offered peace. She closed the pouch, tossed it back at the drawer, slammed the drawer shut, and stood up with her hands on her hips. "New plan: Shower first."

Normally, Rey either took quick showers or skipped them entirely for a quick scrub down with a wet cloth so she could conserve water. This time, however, she pushed aside her misgivings about waste and forced herself to slow down to examine herself.

It wasn't that she didn't know what her body looked like, but she had never taken the time to consider how others might respond to it before. Her body seemed pleasant enough. At least, other women with similar forms seemed to attract enough attention, but as she stared in the mirror, she realized there was something wrong. "Droid," she said, identifying how stiffly she stood, but the recognition did not provide a solution. Rey tried swinging her hips out like she had seen other girls do, but where they had looked something extra, she just looked extra ridiculous.

Disheartened and frustrated, Rey finished the rest of her shower in a hurry and returned to her room. "I'm sure I can at least dress sexy, even if my clothes aren't… The best."

She went through her options again, trying to decide if dark brown had a better air of excitement than light brown, when she remembered that she had another option… General Organa's gift.

Rey rushed over to where she had randomly flung the gown the older woman had loaned her sometime back and quickly dug it out. It was a long, plain, white dress, but it was a dress. That made it sexier than tunics, right?

Rey dragged it over her head and frowned when it ended a good six inches higher than her ankles. The sleeves also fell short on her. "Is it supposed to look like this?" she asked herself. General Organa was rather shorter than her. Should she just take it back off?

"Rey," she heard Ben speak from across the bond. "May I see you?"

"Yes," Rey said without hesitation.

The air shivered as Ben pushed down on the bond between them, bringing them into the same space through the force. He was fully dressed in his usual black outfit, sans cape. He looked down at her with a closed expression, his hands folded behind his back, and Rey realized it was the first time they had seen each other privately since his public declaration that he ended the war so that he could be with her.

She didn't know what to say, and her earlier conversation with Finn and Poe froze her entirely. What if she made some gesture that made her even less attractive? Was he really interested in her as a woman? Maybe she had misinterpreted the entire gesture. Maybe all Ben wanted was to work together, not to actually be together…

"Is that my mother's dress?" Ben asked, interrupting her thoughts.

"Oh! Yes, I was just trying it on," Rey stammered. She looked up at him shyly. "Do you like it?"

His eyes narrowed as he took it in. "It's too small on you. You look strange," Ben said.

"Oh," Rey said, crestfallen even though she agreed with his assessment. "I thought maybe I should try to be pretty for you."

Ben frowned at her, and Rey wondered what she had said wrong. "You don't need to be pretty for me, Rey," he said after a moment, rubbing his hand through his hair and sighing.

Rey sunk down to sit on her bunk with a heavy heart. "You said you ended the war for me. You told everyone. I thought…"

Ben sat down close beside her on the bunk, but not touching. "Hux warned me. He said you might misunderstand. Look, Rey, nothing has changed between us."

Rey cringed. Poe and Finn were right. Ben didn't want her as a woman. "Am I that awful?" Rey asked quietly.

Ben froze beside her, and she realized he was considering his answer carefully. "You're not awful," he said just as quietly. "You're not awful at all, Rey. I just…" He fell quiet. "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, and I don't want to risk messing it up."

Rey's heart melted even as she felt tears of frustration form. She wasn't afraid to mess things up. If the war was no longer between them, she wanted to be with him in every sense. "Tell me this, Ben. Is there something wrong with me?"

He twisted to face her and gazed at her carefully before gently reaching out and tucking a loose hair behind her ear. "No." He leaned forward until she could feel his breath on her lips.

Would he finally kiss her?

Rey closed her eyes in anticipation.

He didn't kiss her.

Ben pulled his hand away, and before Rey opened her eyes, she felt the bond shimmer as he closed the bond between them.

He was gone.

Rey's eyes shot open as she panted in shocked disbelief. A few seconds later, a yell of anguish erupted from her, and she flung everything in sight with the force, resulting in a huge mess in her sleeping quarters.

She ripped the white dress off and threw it back in a corner. So that wasn't the best move, but maybe she could make her usual tunics… sexier? She thought back to Poe's comments about well-placed holes, and then thought back to the time she had found Ben without a shirt.

Maybe she could avoid the tunic altogether. She could just wear her wrap and pants… or maybe skip the pants too. Would he be able to resist her if she appeared only in her under-things?

Rey dressed accordingly, combed her hair out, and curled up in her bed. Usually, they asked permission through the bond before coming through. She debated catching him off-guard to see if that could change things, but she didn't want him to be angry with her.

"Ben?" she said down the bond.

She chewed her lip as the silence stretched out. Was he avoiding her?

"I'm in bed, Rey," he said, breaking the silence.

"I want to be with you." Her fear of his rejection felt tangible to her, and she wondered if he could feel it through the bond as well. Sometimes, when he felt very strongly about something, she would catch echoes of it.

Rey sighed in relief as the air shimmered around her and she found herself sitting on Ben's bed beside where he stretched out under the covers.

Ben's eyes traveled down her face to her wrapped breasts and her bare legs with no change in expression. "You're undressed," he said when he met her eyes again.

"Easier to sleep that way," Rey said. It was a half-truth. Normally she skipped the wrap and just wore a tunic.

"I'll get you a blanket," Ben said. He got out of bed. He was shirtless, though his pants were on. She eyed the curve of his backside and wondered what he would look like naked.

Amazing, most likely.

She was lost in that thought when Ben returned and wrapped a large red blanket around her without ceremony. He then climbed back under his own blanket and faced away from her.

Rey bit her lip, staring at the back of Ben's head. He hadn't outright told her to go, but he was also ignoring her. He probably wished she had never come.

Rey looked down at the skin she had bared to get his attention under the blanket and felt ridiculous. She was trying to force him to notice her when he hadn't even wanted her here. The only question now was whether to prolong the awkwardness by staying or risk drawing attention to her humiliation by leaving.

She decided to wait until he fell asleep to leave. It shouldn't be too long, and then he wouldn't be awake to ask her why she left.

Rey pulled her knees up and rested her chin on them as she waited for Ben's breathing to deepen with sleep. She didn't want to risk getting comfortable and falling asleep there.

His breathing didn't deepen.

Her own eyes were drooping short when he turned around and faced her. A wave of both his scent and heat hit Rey, and she felt intoxicated with it. "Why are you sitting?" he asked. "You need sleep too."

Rey jerked away and shook her head to try and clear it. She was unsuccessful. It had been a long day, she was definitely still tipsy from the earlier revelries, and it was very late. He also smelled very good.

"Rey?" Ben asked, sitting upright himself to better look at her face. "Are you crying?"

"No," Rey denied without checking to see if she was. Her face did feel wet, but she had also been drooling on her knee. Regardless, she didn't think she could handle his pity on top of his disinterest.

"You've been acting strange. Is this about the peace treaty? You don't have to change anything to ensure it, Rey. I didn't mean to pressure you."

"No!" Rey blurted as Ben's words caught up to her. "No, it's not that. At least, not directly."

Ben frowned. "Not directly?"

"Poe and Finn said you must want me for my power because I'm not sexy enough to be wanted as a woman," Rey confessed.

Something darkened in Ben's eyes. "So this… the dress, the lack of clothes… this is an attempt to prove them wrong?" Ben asked. There was an edge of anger to his voice.

Rey flinched back, fearing what was left unsaid. Poe and Finn were right. Kylo clearly wasn't interested, and she didn't think she could handle more rejection. "I'm sorry. I'll stop bothering you." She pulled Kylo's blanket off her and reached out to the force to break the bond when she felt his hand on her arm.

"Wait. Don't go," Ben said. He waited until she looked him in the eyes. "You're not a bother," he said.

"You don't want me here," Rey stated as plainly as she could manage. Her voice gave slightly as tears formed in her eyes.

Ben inhaled sharply. "What makes you say that?"

Rey stared at him in disbelief, her lips parted with her shock. "You wouldn't look at me! You weren't talking to me. You just gave me a blanket, got into bed, and turned your back to me."

Ben's features relaxed some at her explanation. "I didn't look because you were not dressed. I didn't talk because I'm tired. I… don't quite know what to do with you, but it's not because I don't want you here."

Rey bit her lip, uncertain of what to trust.

"Rey, you're the most important person to me. I'm happy to be with you."

Rey's heart lurched. "You closed the bond on me just earlier tonight."

Ben's eyes narrowed with frustration, and the corners of his mouth curled down. "I didn't want…" he sighed and ran a hand through his already messy hair. "Rey, what did you want me to do when you came to me tonight?"

Rey's eyelids lowered. "Notice me, I guess."

Ben huffed and made a point of looking down her bared body and back up before meeting her eyes again. "Consider yourself noticed." He let go of her arm. "What else?"

Rey frowned. She wanted him to desire her, but she didn't want him to fake interest for the sake of her pride. She chewed her bottom lip, wondering what to say, or if she should say anything else. "I want to seduce you."

Ben closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. "Yes, I gathered that much. Are you asking for permission?"

Rey tilted her head to the side. In a way, permission is what her conundrum boiled down to. She did not want to trouble him with her attempts, but she did want to keep trying… as long as he was not opposed to it. "Yes," she said.

"Permission granted," Kylo said without ceremony. He bit his lip and looked at her closely. "You do realize I was trained under both Luke Skywalker and Snoke, right?" Ben said.

Rey nodded uncertainly, not sure where he was going with it. He looked at her confused expression and sighed.

"They both forbade intimacy in their students, Rey, which is to say that you shouldn't get your hopes up that I will respond to your attempts. I might well be the most skilled person in sexual repression in the galaxy."

Rey's eyes bugged out. "I understand. I think…"

Ben smiled gently at her. "Both the Jedi and the Sith were expected to be celibate. No matter the form, intimacy was considered a distraction at best."

Rey's heart sunk. "Am I expected to…"

"No," Ben said firmly. "I will support you no matter the path you take."

"And you…"

"I am neither a Jedi nor a Sith. There are no masters left. I will forge my own path as well."

An awkward silence fell between them. Ben stared resolutely at Rey while she avoided eye contact and fiddled with the bedding.

Ben cleared his throat. "Did you have some sort of seduction plan you were following?"

Rey blushed and shook her head. "I've never tried something like this before. I don't really know how this works… on Jakku, I didn't have to do anything and…" She trailed off, lost in memory. She shook her head after a moment. "I don't know what people normally do."

Ben tilted his head to the side and furrowed his brow. "What did they do on Jakku to seduce you?"

Rey shook her head, wide-eyed, as she finally met his eyes again. "Grab me, mostly. They weren't interested in how I felt. It's why I carried a staff." Ben's eyes narrowed, but Rey waved him off. "I made them pay, Ben. You don't need to protect me."

Ben frowned, but his anger ebbed from him.

"Have you ever seduced anyone?" Rey asked him.

"Not intentionally."

Rey made a face.

"Power seduces, Rey. There are always those who will throw themselves at power, and I am powerful."

Rey frowned and bit the side of her bottom lip. That logic is what Finn and Poe assumed for Ben's interest in her. She gazed at Ben and wondered what he thought of her. He respected and admired her, that much was clear. She was dear to him… but Finn and Poe felt the same way.

"May I kiss you?" Rey blurted out before she could think too much about it.

Ben studied her. "I would prefer to save that particular activity for when mutual attraction exists," he said carefully.

Rey blanched. "Of course," she said in a shaky voice. She hadn't expected him to be quite so blunt about it, and all this time, she had not quite given up hope. Her stomach turned. She had been completely wrong about his interest in her. "I think… I think I'll go to sleep now. Good night, Ben."

She cut the bond immediately and found herself fully back in her bunk on the Falcon. Her heart ached to the point of nausea. Ben had acknowledged her attraction to him wasn't mutual. Rey curled up in the fetal position and cried herself to sleep. If Ben reached out to her, she didn't know.

The next morning, Rey woke with swollen eyes and new determination. Just because Ben didn't find her attractive now didn't mean she couldn't change things. After washing her face, she tracked down and cornered Poe during breakfast.

"How do I become sexier?" she asked him without preamble.

Poe's face twisted with confusion. "What? Wait, is this about..."

"Please, Poe. I know you're good at attracting others. How do I learn to do it myself?"

Poe frowned and scratched his head. "Look, Rey, I didn't mean to…"

"Save your apologies. I want to know how."

Poe sighed, put a friendly arm over her shoulders, and escorted her away from the mess hall. When they reached a space that was reasonably private, Poe released her shoulders and faced her. "You do realize it's not something you can learn in 5 minutes, right?"

Rey nodded.

Poe stared at her and shrugged. "Well, the most important thing is attitude. Tell me what you see when you look in the mirror."

Rey initially flinched, thinking back to the endless reflections of herself she had seen while training. She forced herself to think about a normal mirror. "I just see me."

"And what do you think of yourself when you're looking in the mirror?" Poe asked, as if he had half expected her to need the extra direction.

"Strong. Fierce. Independent," Rey said. She left out the other things she saw: abandoned, afraid, and unworthy. Poe was her friend, but he was not that kind of friend.

"Not bad, not bad. Do you know what I see when I look in the mirror? I see a sexy, bold, and daring pilot who can accomplish anything he sets his mind to."

Rey didn't know how to respond to that. "Okay..?"

"What I'm trying to say is that if you believe it about yourself, others will believe it too."

Rey frowned. No wonder Ben wasn't interested.

"So what's going on? Are you wanting Kylo Ren to be interested in you like that or something?" Rey flinched, and Poe's eyes bugged out. "Oh my stars, you do. Rey, are you sure? I mean, can't you look for someone less… I don't know, evil?"

"He's not evil," Rey protested.

Poe huffed. "We'll have to agree to disagree on that one. I've been tortured by him, remember? So what's the deal? Scary, psycho, powerful guys do it for you?"

"Poe," Rey said in a warning voice.

"I'm just trying to understand why someone who otherwise seems to have her head on her shoulders and is a hero for the good guys would want the quintessential bad boy to… oh. Well, you're not the first good girl to fall for a bad boy."

"It's not that, Poe," Rey insisted. "We… bonded. He understands what it's like to…" she trailed off, not quite wanting to share how lonely and abandoned she and Ben both were.

"Ah, the force thing," Poe said, misunderstanding. "Well, I guess that kinda makes sense. So, you're into him, but he's not into you that way?"

Rey nodded, wondering if Poe would say something useful now.

"What have you tried?" Poe asked.

Rey blushed. "Not much. I went to him last night…"

"What were you wearing? Wait, last night? Like, after me and Poe left the Falcon?"

Rey ground her teeth in frustration. "Yes, last night, and I was wearing my under things."

Poe's jaw dropped. "Wait, just your under things? Wow, Rey… umm… how did he react?"

Rey shook her head, not wanting to go into the details of her mortification.

Poe scratched his head. "Rey, I don't mean to discourage you, well, actually, I do, for many, many reasons, but maybe you should give this one up?

Rey shook her head. "He gave me permission to keep trying."

"Permission," Poe echoed in disbelief. "You… umm… well, what do you plan to try next?"

"I don't know. That's why I'm here!"

"Huh, so you're consulting me on how to seduce Kylo Ren?" Poe blew out a long breath. "Well, I've done crazier things. Let me think about it, and we'll talk some more this evening."

That night, Rey went to her bunk with a new set of pajamas among other lady supplies borrowed from Kaydel Connix and a plan. It was an absurd plan that caused her cheeks to burn just considering it, but it was still a plan.

She showered carefully before pulling out the shaving razor and strange lotion Kaydel had provided at Poe's request. Kaydel had explained the process, but Rey still felt ridiculous. Much later, she proudly put the kit away and studied her now-hairless legs. There were a few nicks, of course, that stung, but Poe had assured her it would be worth it.

She got out, dried off, and put on the pajamas without her breast wrap. The pajamas were silky smooth and button-up on the top with a deep v-neck. Kaydel was the one who suggested that Rey mis-align the buttons on purpose so that Ben might feel compelled to fix them. Rey imagined Ben's hands so close to her and shuddered with anticipation.

"I can do this," she told her reflection in the mirror. "I am bold, I am sexy…" she said with a winning grin she copied from Poe. She looked and felt ridiculous. Rey sighed and tackled her still damp hair with a comb. "I am terrified," she admitted.

She went back to the bunk when she decided she was ready to face Ben again.

"Ben?" she asked through the bond.

"Come to seduce me again?" he responded. The world rippled around her, and she was sitting next to Ben on his bed again. He was in black lounge pants again, but he wore a plain black shirt with them this time. "Hi there," he said, looking her over. His eyes found the misaligned buttons and fixated. He swallowed hard. "I see you got help."

Rey blushed. "Is that a bad thing?"

"Not if it's what you wanted," Ben said. His eyes drifted over her again, then zeroed in on her ankles, where a nick showed. "Rey, you're bleeding," he said.

"I shaved my legs," Rey explained.

Ben frowned at her and sighed. "Take off your pants, Rey."

Rey's eyes widened as he climbed out of bed and went someplace that didn't make sense on her side of the bond, as it was on the other side of the wall her bunk was pressed against. Rey felt her head spin trying to make sense of seeing Ben through a wall, and she didn't realize he was back until he knelt beside her and gently tugging at the bottom hem of her pants.

"Off. Now." When Rey hesitated, he briefly rolled his eyes and held up a bottle of antiseptic, a tube of ointment, and a clean cloth. "I need to treat your cuts, Rey."

Rey stood and meant to remove her pants herself, but Ben's hands slid up to her waist before she could work up the courage. His eyes captured hers as he carefully tugged the pants over her hips and down her legs, his warm fingers lightly brushing her skin the entire way. Warmth pooled in Rey's lower abdomen, and she felt every nerve in her body stand alert at the attention Ben paid her. When his hands and her pants reached her feet, he broke eye contact to face her legs.

Rey sat back down on the edge of the bed and watched Ben lift her left leg and examine the cuts on it. His hands were warm and slightly calloused, and they felt amazing against her smooth skin, except, of course, where she was cut. Rey winced as he dabbed one particularly painful cut with the antiseptic-soaked cloth.

"You never shaved before," Ben said. It was a statement of fact with a hint of censure. "Why now?"

Rey blushed. "I did it for you," she said, frustration coloring her own tone.

"You mean you did it as part of your seduction?" he challenged. Rey frowned and began to object, but Ben beat her to speaking. "You shouldn't, Rey. The right person won't mind if you have hairy legs."

"It does feel nice though," Rey said, choosing to ignore the implication that he wasn't the right person for her.

"I don't like seeing you hurt." Ben

"Then I'll have to get better at it," Rey retorted.

Ben gave her an annoyed look, but went back to treating her legs in silence. When he finished, he put her pants back on for her, then immediately moved to fixing the buttons on her shirt. Rey gasped at his proximity. He never unbuttoned more than the necessary two at a time to fix the alignment, but his fingers occasionally scraped against her belly, and then higher…

Rey blushed deeply as she felt his knuckles brush her breasts through the pajamas and his fingers slipped inside to correct the last button even as they inadvertently stroked the skin between.

Ben removed his hands and stepped back once he finished. His eyes were stormy, but his expression was blank. He said nothing, and Rey had no idea what to say. She burned for him. Rey licked her lips, wishing she knew what to do or say to get him to touch her again.

Ben crossed his arms. "So what are your evening plans for seducing me?" Ben asked conversationally.

Rey chewed her bottom lip. "Can I touch you?" she asked.

Ben stiffened. "Where?"

Rey shrugged and stood up. Hesitantly, she approached him until only inches separated them. Ben didn't back away, but his grip on his crossed arms tightened.

Rey made eye contact with Ben and slowly raised her hand up to his cheek, stopping just shy of touching him. "May I?" she whispered.

Ben swallowed and nodded slightly. The tension in his eyes lessened slightly, and in its place was… sadness? Rey felt her own heart ache in response. She felt tough bristles and discovered she had started stroking his jawline without realizing it. She wanted to comfort him, but his crossed arms remained between them. Rey took her hand from his face, gently pulled his arms down to his sides, and stepped into him, wrapping her arms securely around his waist and leaning her cheek against his chest.

She had wanted to reassure him, but she quickly got lost in the sensation of their first embrace. He was warm, sturdy, everything she had imagined, and more. Only, he didn't return the hug. His arms remained at his sides. His chest expanded suddenly against her, and Ben let out a long tired sigh. Rey's heart dropped, and she backed away from him quickly.

Rey's lips trembled at the angry darkness she found in his eyes. His hands were clenched tightly, and Rey felt fear. Had she gone too far with her attempts to interest him in her? He had given consent, but perhaps he had only done so fearing he would lose their friendship otherwise?

Rey knew how to be brave in battle. She had fought against opponents bigger, stronger, and more numerous than her most of her life. She was good at waiting, like with her parents and Luke Skywalker. She was even good at being stubbornly persistent, also with Luke Skywalker.

She had thought seduction would be the same, but it was different.

She had nothing to lose and everything to gain when she battled to defend herself and the Resistance, when she waited for her parents, when she badgered Luke… This was different. Rey gazed into Ben's dark eyes and saw a friend's trust betrayed. She saw something broken.

This was different.

Rey's breath hitched, and she stepped backward. Ben made no attempt to stop her. Rey closed her eyes as the first sob broke free. She had tried and gone too far. She had failed in the worst way possible.

She broke the bond's connection and shut herself off from the force. She didn't want to face Ben. She couldn't even face herself. What had she been thinking?

She had been greedy. She had been selfish. She had been proud. And all for what? Physical affection? She had gone most of her life without even a hand to hold, and now she had hurt one of her dearest friends because she wanted to force him to return her interest in equal measure. No amount of touch was worth that.

No wonder the Jedi preached celibacy.

Rey felt as lost, lonely, and hopeless as the time she had faced herself in the endless mirrors. That time, Ben had reached out to her after.

This time, he wouldn't.

Rey's heart cracked all over again, and she couldn't handle being still. She rubbed her face dry of tears, got up, changed into her usual clothes, and went for a run.

The peace treaty had taken place on the planet Takodana just outside Maz's repaired fortress, which meant there was a very nice set of woods Rey could run through.

Woods where she had first met Ben.

Rey shoved that thought away and took off into the darkness. After tripping over several roots she would have normally avoided with the force, she sighed and opened herself back up to it, trusting Ben wouldn't want to seek her out anyway.

She felt him immediately through the bond, and his relief at her return to the force was palpable. Rey froze in her tracks. Ben had been looking for her? Why?

"I'm coming to you," he said through the bond. "We need to talk. In person."

Rey sighed and considered what this meant. Was he ending their friendship? Calling her out on her ridiculous behavior? She imagined speaking to him in the dark woods where she couldn't see his face and cringed. Maybe the Falcon would be better? But the Falcon had Chewbacca, and Chewie would likely go into a rage against Ben if Chewie suspected Ben hurt her feelings…

"I'll come to you," Rey said. "If we have to speak in person, I'll come to you."

"I'm on the Star Destroyer. You'll need to take a transport to reach me," Ben answered.

Rey shrugged and headed back to the Falcon for the short flight up. Chewbacca would not ask too many questions.

Not much later, Rey found herself walking down the ramp to a waiting Ben in the hold of his Star Destroyer. He was dressed in his usual black uniform, and he stood with his hands folded behind his back. "Rey," he said, nodding slightly.

"Ben," Rey replied, slowing her steps to study his face as she approached him. He studied her as well, and Rey realized she had forgotten to check her appearance before she arrived. She glanced down and saw dirt stains on her pants and a spot where her skin was scratched. She had no idea what her hair must look like or what he must think. His presence in the force was calm and steady. "I'm here."

"Come with me," he said, and he pivoted about to walk deeper into the ship.

Rey followed him quietly and kept her eyes on his looming back, the clasped hands that she wished she could hold, and the black wavy hair she longed to stroke. She shook her head to clear it. He wasn't hers… Not like that.

He glanced behind at her curiously, and she blushed, wondering if he had picked up on her interest through the force. She had not considered that consequence of being physically in the same room… They could never read each other through the bond, but nothing prevented it in person. Yet, when she tried to sense his emotions, she got nothing.

"I can teach you how to shield your emotions, if you like," Ben said as they entered an elevator. It reminded Rey of the one they had used when going to see Snoke, and she shuddered. Ben gazed at her. "You are safe, Rey. He's gone."

Rey nodded, but she avoided his eyes. She felt exposed in person. She had broken into his mind before and found his fears, but only during his interrogation, when he had thought himself safe. She tried to sense him again. She could trust from his words that he meant her no harm… not that she expected it. He had deeply regretted his actions on Crait. But did he enjoy her company? Was she merely a means to greater power, as Finn and Poe had suggested? She could sense nothing. Perhaps that was all he felt towards her: Nothing.

The elevator stopped, and they entered a short hallway with only three doors. Horrific screaming came from behind the door on the left. Rey felt every hair stand on end. Had he brought her to be tortured after all? What was going on!?

Ben paused and frowned. He turned to face her. "That is Hux's personal suite, and he… er… he found a friend. This is how they enjoy time together."

Rey's eyes widened, and a fuzzy memory of Poe talking about a leather suit with holes in the right places came to mind.

"I made the mistake of thinking he was in danger the first time and forced my way in," Ben admitted. Just a touch of red colored his cheeks, and Rey bit her lip, struggling not to laugh at him when so much was uncertain between them. "This room," he said, gesturing to the one at the end of the hallway, "Is my suite. Will you join me?" He unlocked, opened the door for her, and waited just inside the room. Rey could see a bedroom beyond Ben with familiar black sheets and one loose red blanket on top.

Rey glanced at Hux's door again. Was Ben inviting her for that sort of thing? She hesitated. Would that be a problem? She looked to Ben again, considering.

"You may leave any time you wish. I chose my suite because it gives us the most privacy."

"Okay," Rey said. She squared her shoulders and entered the room.

Ben closed the door behind them, removed his boots, and set them beside the door. Rey copied the motion with her own shoes, and looked around at the room she had only seen glimpses of before. It was sparsely furnished with even fewer decorations. There was the bed, of course, a small metal table with two metal chairs, and several doors leading elsewhere. One was open to reveal a washroom. A painting of a space battle hung above the head of his bed, and a disfigured helmet was framed in a shadowbox on the wall. It looked familiar, though Rey couldn't quite place it.

"Would you please sit?" Ben asked.

Rey startled. She had almost forgotten he was in the room. Her eyes scanned the chairs at the table and then the bed. She was more familiar with the bed, of course, but the chairs hadn't been an option before. "Where should I sit?"

"Anywhere you like," Ben responded. He waited beside her with his hands clasped behind his back again.

Rey bit her lip. She felt like he was testing her. The chairs were closer though, and they were safer. She took a chair and sat down, feeling ridiculous. Ben casually took the chair across from her at the table and studied her.

"You wanted to talk," Rey said, eager to get this over with.

Ben nodded and folded his hands on the table between them. "It appears that the peace treaty has led to some misunderstandings between us." He fell silent, and Rey nodded. "It was not my intention that the treaty change the nature of our relationship, but rather allow us greater freedom with it."

His words stabbed Rey's heart somewhat, and she avoided his eyes. "I'm sorry… that I pushed you into something… that you didn't want," she said. "I misunderstood." She looked up at him. "Is that what you needed to hear in person? You're important to me, Ben. I didn't mean," she paused to catch her breath as humiliation trembled through her skin. "I didn't mean to hurt us. I wasn't thinking, but you are more important than… that stuff to me, Ben. You're so important to me." Her eyes watered, and Rey sniffed.

Ben's eyes softened, and he leaned forward. "Rey, tell me what you want."

"I don't want to lose you," Rey said. "Please, Ben. I don't want to lose you."

Ben took a deep breath, and his hands flinched on the table. "You haven't lost me, Rey." He shifted his hand out to rest between them, palm-up and raised his brow at her.

Rey nodded and placed her hand in his. He clasped her hand firmly. The relief that came with the touch was enough to free her tears and send them running down her cheeks. "Thank you," Rey said. She wiped her face with her free hand and forced a trembling smile at him.

Ben gazed at her and cleared his throat. "You haven't lost me. Tell me. What do you want?" His thumb rubbed the back of her hand gently, and Rey felt a thrill run through her at the small gesture. He inhaled sharply, and she knew he had sensed her reaction through the force. His eyes were full of wonder as he looked at her.

Ben flipped their hands so his was on top. He released his grip and trailed his fingertips down the sensitive flesh of her palm. Rey blushed to her ears as her heart pounded within her chest. Ben's own lips had parted as he watched her reaction, and she saw something in them… A ripple of desperation through the force. She looked up to see his eyes on her own lips.

Ben swallowed hard and took her hand in his again as he slid out of his chair and knelt before her, still holding her hand. Rey thought back to when he had treated her shaving nicks just earlier that night. He had been so gentle, just like now.

"Rey, what do you want?" Ben asked again, his voice husky. He took her hand and gently nuzzled it with his cheek.

Rey shuddered with desire. His eyes expressed a lustful hunger, and she knew it would be okay. "I want you," she said.

Ben turned his head to kiss the back of her hand, never taking his eyes off her face. "Are you certain?"

Rey nodded. "Yes," she breathed. "And you?"

Ben took her palm to his lips and kissed it, letting his lips linger before he removed them. "Absolutely." He rose to his feet and gently tugged Rey up with him, maintaining eye contact. "We have a lot to discuss, but I would really like to kiss you."

"I would really like you to kiss me," Rey said.

Ben bent down and hesitated with his lips a hair away from hers. "I've been dreaming about this moment for weeks," he said into the space between them. His lips just barely brushed Rey's with the words, and her own breath hitched.

"Stop dreaming," she muttered and closed the distance firmly. Ben returned the force of her kiss and slid his hands down her back to wrap around her waist, tugging her closer. Rey wrapped her own arms around his neck and leaned up on her toes to press herself more firmly against him.

They parted suddenly, both breathing hard as they gazed at each other.

Rey kissed him again and itched to feel more of him and have more of her felt by him, but so far, he kept his hands stubbornly in the safety of her back. She thought back to how he had removed her pants earlier again and recalled she had a new scratch on her leg from her run in the woods. Rey broke the kiss. "Ben, I need your help," she said.

"What's the matter?" he asked, suddenly serious.

Rey frowned, wondering if maybe he wasn't ready for this, and looked down at her new injury as she contemplated how else to encourage him to touch her more.

"You're injured again?" he asked. Rey looked to him and nodded. "And you want me to bandage you again?" Ben asked.

"Yes," Rey said.

Ben nodded. "You'll need to sit down," he pointed out. "I'll go get the first aid kit."

He left through one of the doors that led deeper into the suite. Rey looked at the metal chair she had sat in and then glanced at the bed. She steeled her nerves and sat on the bed.

When Ben returned, he hesitated slightly when he saw her on his bed. As he knelt down in front of her with the first aid kit, he looked up at her and studied her for a moment before he asked her, "How far are you comfortable taking this tonight?"

Rey smiled at him. "Let's find out." The corner of Ben's mouth quirked up, and Rey leaned down to kiss him gently on impulse. At the questioning look in his eyes, she said, "I had never seen you smile before."

Ben relaxed, and both ends of his mouth turned up in a very cautious yet sincere smile. "You are the only one I smile for. You're certain about this?"

"Yes!" Rey exclaimed.

Ben leaned forward and hugged her around the waist with his head in her lap. "Thank you, Rey. Thank you for everything."

Rey slipped out of the Ben's room in the morning, feeling so many different things at once she hardly gave a thought to her surroundings, which is why she didn't notice when Poe stepped out of Hux's room.

"Whoah ho ho! Look who's doing the walk of shame from the Supreme Leader's room!" Poe said with a big grin.

Rey froze then scowled. "There's nothing shameful about us enjoying our time together." She eyed him over, spotting the bruises and scratch marks visible on his neck and shook her head. She really didn't want to know.

Poe wrapped a friendly arm around her shoulders. "No, there's really not. So, our advice helped Kylo Ren AKA Mr. Ben Solo notice you as a woman finally?"

Rey thought back to her talks with Ben the night before and smiled. Ben had always noticed her. He just wanted to be sure it was mutual.

"Well, did they?" Poe asked in the silence.

Rey grinned harder and chose not to answer.

Decided to keep this out of my wholesome one-shot collection for REASONS. Hope you enjoyed it! Please review!