AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is a rehash of a Monkees story I wrote when I was in college. It's just what I do. The canon is mostly "The Super Mario Bros. Super Show" (I'm a child of the 80's so sue me already!), I'm mixing canons by including Toadette (I'm a sucker for cuteness). Anyway, Mario, Luigi, Princess Toadstool, Toad, Toadette, King Koopa, and his minions belong to Nintendo. The Star Crystal, Dr. Chanterelle, Sister Mary Mushroom, and all other incidental characters belong to me (though Dr. Chanterelle's personality is based on a character my sister made up). There are references to one of my other fanfics, "Merry Go Round," in this story, so I suggest you read that one first, before reading this one.

Plumber's Log Number 1967

King Koopa hadn't tried anything to take over Princess Toadstool's Mushroom Kingdom for a couple of weeks, so we decided to head for the beach, for a vacation. Little did we know things were about to take a dramatic turn, especially for me and my brother.

The Mario Bros., Princess Toadstool, Toad, and Toadette were spending the day playing volleyball. Mario, Luigi and Toad and were one team, and Princess Toadstool and Toadette were the other team.

"Next point wins!" Princess Toadstool shouted, as she served the ball. Mario and Luigi dove for it at the same time.

"I got it!" Luigi shouted.

"I got it!" Mario yelled. They yelled "I got it" two more times. As it turned out, it sailed over their heads, but Toad leaped into the air as high as he could, and returned the ball.

"How did you do that?" Toadette asked, as she hit the ball over the net.

"I'm just lucky I guess," Toad said, smacking the ball. "Especially in whipping your butts at this game! Eee-hee-hee-hee-hee!"

Princess Toadstool spiked the ball just then. Mario and Luigi ran for it, yelling "I got it" again. Neither of them got it. They jumped up, ran into each other, and chaos reined. Mario got tangled in the net and Luigi, somehow or another hit the pole holding the net up. Either way, their team lost.

"Ow!" Luigi shouted, rubbing his forehead. "Mama mia, that hurt!"

"Are you okay, Luigi?" Toadette asked.

"Fine," Luigi said. "I'm just glad I didn't knock myself unconscious!"

"Hey! Let me out of this!" Mario shouted. He looked like a fish in the net. Everyone began laughing as they helped untangle Mario.

The group was having great fun on the beach, but they were being watched by none other than King Koopa, through his magic wand. He was trying to come up with a way to get Mario and his friends out of the way so he could take over the Mushroom Kingdom.

"You think you're so great, plumber," he growled. "Well, I'll show you. I'm just in a slump. That's all. I'll be rid of you this time!"

"I sink I know of a way to get rid of zee Mario Bruzzers once and for all, your royal awful-ness," Mouser said, walking into the room with a book.

"If you've come up with it, Mouser, it's sure to be an abysmal failure!" Koopa shouted. "What is it?"

"The Crystal of Algernon. It's right here in zis book. It says whoever possesses the crystal can use it to do his bidding."

"Hmmm. That might be just the thing to defeat that scum sucking sewer brain. Where do I find it?"

"Zat's the sing, oh mighty King Koopa. You don't find it. You make it."

"Make it, huh? Well, then, let's make it!"

Immediately, Koopa sent his entire army to gather a cauldron, and the ingredients needed to make this Crystal of Algernon. The Koopa Troopas returned with several bottles and jars of assorted items.

"Come on, come on, hurry it up!" Koopa demanded. "Put the ingredients in as I call them out! Pickled bat gizzards! Spider eyebrows! Green fuzzy mold! Black squishy mildew! Swamp mud! Pink and purple fungus! Snakes knees!"

"I didn't even know snakes had knees!" a Troopa shouted.

"Never mind!" Koopa shouted, whacking the Troopa in the head with his stirring spoon. "And finally, a pinch of salt!"

Koopa added the pinch of salt, and began stirring the concoction in the cauldron. He leaned over, sniffed the bubbling goop, and immediately took quite a few steps backwards.

"Pee-yew!" he shouted. "That stuff smells terrible! Ugh. The things I do just to rule the world."

Koopa checked the book, and walked back to the cauldron with a test tube, and a ladle. He spooned some of the goop into the test tube, and put it over a bunsen burner. Then he waited.

"How long does it say it'll take for the crystal to form?" he asked.

"It doesn't," Mouser said. "Unfortunately."

"You idiot!" Koopa shouted, grabbing the book and whacking Mouser over the head with it. "How do you expect me to take over the Mushroom Kingdom having to wait for a stupid magical crystal to . . . ."

Before Koopa could continue, there was a loud explosion, completely destroying one side of the room. When the smoke cleared, the only thing that wasn't broken was a wand shaped crystal, that changed colors as it glowed.

"Must be ready," Koopa said, grabbing the crystal and holding it up. "Now let's put it to the test."

"All you have to do, your reptile-ness," Mouser said, looking at the book, "is say what you want it to do, but it has to be in verse."

"That sounds simple enough," Koopa said. "Magic crystal, while you're tickin', change that Mouser to a chicken!"

"Vait, vhat?!" Mouser shouted. Before anything else could happen, a beam of multi-colored light shot out from the crystal.

"Ooohhhhh nooooooooo!" Mouser shouted, as the beam surrounded him. When it subsided, a chicken stood in his place, and began clucking. Mouser walked over to a nearby mirror, let out a squawk, and began running around the room like a chicken with it's head cut off. Koopa just stood there, laughing.

"It works!" he shouted. "It works! I'll fix those miserable Marios for good this time!"