Story: Loss, Chapter 1

Summary: In which Alphonse sacrifices himself, but there's no way to bring back his soul or body. Ed has to learn to accept it and live with his Brother's decision. Alternate Ending To Brotherhood/The Manga.

EdLing. RoyAi. ShesWin. Parental Roy and Parental Riza. Self-harm and cutting. Anorexic/Bulimic Habits. Some suicidal themes.

Disclaimer: I don't own FMA.

The world isn't fair.

This was a fact that Edward had long since learned, but he'd always wanted to believe that it was possible to achieve a happy ending; that hard work did pay off if you put forth enough effort.

However, it wasn't until Alphonse had sacrificed himself that he realized there were just some things that couldn't be undone.

His precious little brother, whom he'd sworn to protect even if it costed him his life, was dead, and there was nothing he could do about it. The only time he had ever felt this helpless was back when he had watched his mother die right in front of him.

It's all my fault…

I'm the reason he was put in that armor in the first place. If it weren't for me, none of this would have happened.

The first thing he registered in what felt like an eternity was Ling placing a hand on the back of his shoulder.

Ling wanted more than anything to say sorry for Edward's loss, he wanted to offer some kind of condolence, but he knew that the last thing Edward would want was pity right now. So instead, he opted for something different, a question, feeling it was only right that he say something , whether Edward answered it or not. "...How are you holding up...?"

Edward took a while to respond, as he met Ling's gaze. "...I should be asking you that… You just lost Greed and Fu..."

It was true. Edward wasn't the only one suffering right now, and Ling would be lying to say he didn't miss Greed or Fu. Unfortunately, there were a lot of people who'd faced losses in this cursed war. Neither one of them were alone on that matter.

But everybody knew that to Edward, Alphonse was practically the world . So it was fair to question if he would be okay after this.

"...Ed-" Ling started to speak with concern, but Edward spoke up again before he could push the subject any further.

"Anyway, I'll be fine, so don't worry about it. After all, you have your own affairs to deal with, right?" Edward offered a weak smile that heavily contrasted with the dead look on his face.

Ling, naturally, didn't get a sense of reassurance from Edward's tone of voice, but he chose not to press him or the matter any further for the time being.

"I'm sorry, Ed…" A voice, which immediately put a sour taste in Edward's mouth, interjected. It was Hohenheim. "This is my fault. If I had stuck around back then, you boys would have never done what you did and Al would still be here…"

"...Shut up…" Edward muttered, clenching his fists. "Al lost his body because I didn't want to face reality… I was desperate enough to think I could bring Mom back, but I made a huge mistake, and now he's dead too. It's my soul alone that carries the weight of that sin… I refuse to allow anybody else, even you, to take responsibility for that…"

And nobody could say anything for so long.

After all, there wasn't anything they could say to make the boy feel better about losing his Brother, his partner, the person that had been right by his side for nearly his entire life.

The only true family that he had left was gone and there was no getting him back . One could say he still had Hohenheim, but everybody knew how Ed felt about his father.

That was why when Edward walked off the battlefield that day, there wasn't a single person that could stop him, not even Riza, and not even Roy, who, despite being blind, could sense the tension on that ground just as much as the next person.

Because above all else, every single person there knew that Edward just needed space right now.

…

A/N: Welp, I hope y'all don't hate me for this... This is way better than the last story I posted tbh, but it's still very bad of me.