Onii-chan

Hello. This is 24TheFun. It's been quite a while since I last updated and I'm sorry for that. Unfortunately I was hacked. My laptop was old as dirt though and didn't have the security needed to hold off the guys who did it. Honestly I'm just a little disappointed. Like, who hacks someone on fanfiction?

Lucky for my I have a good memory and a spare laptop. Unfortunately my writing speed has slowed to a crawl. Due to the difficulty of rewriting stories on memory alone and this old crappy keyboard. It doesn't help that I live out in the middle of nowhere with the world's worst internet.

I'll try to update 'The Fourth Wish' soon. But until then, bear with me.

(About this story)

This is a Romantic comedy. But it will have scenes of intense action and some arcs will feature adventure. Expect character death, though not main characters. This will be a harem. It will feature some aspects of forbidden romance. And it has a very convolute plot. So don't jump to conclusions and send me angry reviews.

I will be using some Japanese words interchangeably with English. If this annoys you I'm sorry but that's just how I'm writing it. Keep in mind the Naruto I'm using is the post Shippuden Canon Naruto. I'll try to stay true to his powers and abilities. If you see glaring errors please PM me.

Now for the disclaimer. (I don't own any part of Naruto. Naruto is owned by Kishimoto.)

OOO

OOO

Chapter One – An Odd Morning.

Naruto Uzumaki woke with an incredible yawn. A yawn so great and mighty it evoked images of noble lions and ferocious tigers. A yawn to symbolize the beginning of a great adventure! Though… this was slightly offset by the sloth beanie he happened to be wearing.

Then he sat up and looked around his meager one bedroom one bath apartment. His sleepy gaze drifted from corner to corner, his half lidded eyes sending a barrage of contradictory information to his brain. He couldn't help but feel something was out of place. The whole room seemed a bit odd to him. But then again he was never much of a morning person. He could easily be missing something.

Yawning again, Naruto swung his feet off the bed and stood up. He turned, heading to the bathroom rubbing his eyes as he went.

He only made it 5 feet before his face hit the wall. A wall that, mysterious as it was, shouldn't have been there in the first place. He paused and, because he did this same routine every single morning, frowned sleepily. He had been doing this same routine every single morning for the last 10 years since he got the apartment. So now that he was done rubbing his eyes, and indeed massaging his forehead, he noticed that the door was now on the opposite side of the room.

"Now that's weird."

He rubbed his head again, attempting to dispel the slight pain in his forehead and entered the bathroom. He was still sleepy as he turned to the sink, twisting the nozzle for the water to come out. Then something else strange occurred to him through the morning haze. For one thing he never remembered having a full length mirror in the bathroom. And for another, he didn't have a walk in shower either. So unless someone had decided to come in and remodel his bathroom he was a loss.

"I've no idea what's going on and I don't really care. Just something else off to deal with I guess."

Naruto splashed cold water on his face hoping to wake them self up a bit more. Then he looked in the mirror. As per the usual the blue eyes staring back at him didn't hold the warmth that most people saw. To him, looking at himself in the mirror now, his eyes seemed bored. His gaze is did not hold the same excitement that he was known for.

In fact, if someone else was looking at him right now, they might have mistaken him for certain dark haired young man about his own age. Although there wasn't an abundance of hatred in his gaze either.

Rough hands moved through his hair, attempting and failing to tame it into something approximating neatness. He scratched idly at his cheeks, mentally noting again that the dark lines on either side grew thicker the older he became. In addition to that he was slowly losing the roundness of his face that Jiraiya always teased him about.

"Well at least Jiraiya won't be able to tease me about it anymore, but knowing him even dead he's gonna be trying to get me into pervy situations."

A moment later Naruto left the bathroom and headed across his room to a dresser. For the third time that morning there was something very much out of place. His dresser, which was usually just by the foot of his bed, was now on the opposite side of the room. The bewildered blond just stood there and scratched is head.

"If I didn't know any better I'd say Konohamaru is trying to pull pranks on me again. I swear if that's what is actually going on he'll be sorry he ever met me."

It was several minutes before he managed to apprise himself of his entire room and the changes there in. It seemed that everything besides his bed had either been replaced, moved, or wasn't even there anymore. Hell, even the blanket on his bed was different. This was… vexing.

Never in his entire life had this ever happened to him. Admittedly, he'd done this sort of thing to a few other people. Certainly good for a few laughs, but never in his life had it been done to him. He just couldn't wrap his head around it. Somehow, someone had entered his room during the night without waking him and done a serious home makeover. Honestly he didn't know whether to be amazed or pissed.

Naruto eventually decided on amazed, making another mental note to ramp up his pranking across the board. For truly the village had forgotten the legend of the #1 pranking king of Konoha. He fully intended on striking fear into the hearts of civilians and Shinobi alike. No one would be safe. Not the Hyuuga, not the Inuzuka, and most certainly not any other clan lacking in their abilities. Maybe he'd even go back into the art business. Maybe try to liven up the Hokage the monuments again… Now that Kakashi's ugly mug was plastered against the far right side… it was long overdue for a makeover.

He sighed, mumbling to himself as he continued his routine from where he'd left off. "Oh well, time to get up and around."

So, moving to his oddly placed dresser, he began to get dressed for the day. He purposefully tried to ignore the fact that there were several pieces of clothing missing. And not to mention, the abhorrent lack of orange. Seriously there was going to be some chaos for this. Damn being amazed, he was going down the pissed route real quick. Mess with his furniture, fine. Changeup is bathroom, go right ahead. Hell, he wouldn't complain if his whole room was painted pink, but removing all of his beautiful orange clothes was going too far.

There would be hell to pay…

As soon as he found something orange to wear.

20 minutes later he finally found something in the very back of the bottom drawer. It was two sizes too small at least, making it feel uncomfortably tight around the shoulders. Fortunately most of his clothes had been baggy when he was a Genin and it wasn't too bad a fit even three years later. Currently he was wearing a white and orange jacket over black shirt with his clan symbol on the back. Below that he wore loose black pants. He'd equipped his ninja tools already and put on his combat sandals leaving only one thing left… His headband.

It took nearly ten minutes to find his god damned headband. And by that time he had it he was livid. This headband had been given to him by Iruka-sensei. One of the people he cared for more than anything else and to have someone move it, hide it. It was unacceptable. If this was Konohamaru's doing… The boy was going to wish he was never born. He'd prank that brat so thoroughly his grandfather would feel it in the pure world!

After Naruto was fully prepared to go out into the outside world he did a quick double check. He had to be absolutely sure that nothing else was out of place he hadn't realized. Fortunately it didn't seem as though there was. Naruto turned on his heel and walked to his door, opening it and stepping through.

His so called 'ninja reflexes' failed him completely.

Why?

Because someone (and he still had no idea who) had replaced the walkway outside his door, which usually led to a hallway and then down a flight of stairs into the street. Now, this usual setup had been replaced with a set of stairs that immediately dropped down not a foot after the door opened. Naruto found himself for the first time in years tumbling head over heels, or more accurately heels over head down a set of stairs.

At the bottom he crashed painfully.

He was up again a second later cursing. What… the… hell..?

What the hell was a set of stairs doing right there? For one thing the corridor always turns to the right because a street was directly in front of him when he walked out of the door. But somehow the stairs now looked directly down after he opened it, catching him by surprise. But that wasn't the issue. The issue was that the stairs should be halfway into the street at this point, but instead he was now in a hallway.

Confusion.

Complete and all encompassing confusion.

"Am I going crazy?"

Naruto looked around as if asking a nonexistent audience that question as he brushed himself off. He glanced around again as if checking for traps, carefully concealed behind the most every day of objects. He didn't find any. What he did find was the door leading off to his right. Naruto, being the curious and currently perplexed person he was, opened the door and peaked in.

What he saw on the other side was a small bedroom. A bed in the center with a large blue and gold blanket on top. To the right of the bed was a dresser. To the left of the bed was a small table, and stacked with what looked like a magazines. Naruto recognized the magazine's as being from one of the more popular ninja issues, published in Suna.

For a moment this little detail held him spellbound. Then he snapped out of his daze and took note of a few other things in the room. By the door about a foot from him were two long blades, nodachi. He'd never seen swords like this close up, save for the one the time Sasuke was trying to dismember him with one.

"Kaa-san! I didn't mean to do it! Sorry! –wait! DON'T! Please!"

Naruto's head snapped to the side and he melted into the shadows, disappearing back up the stairs. He didn't know what the hell was going on, but he fully intending on finding out.

"Now you get right back here you! Did I say you could skip out on a mission just because you didn't like it?! I think not!"

He frowned. He was sure he recognized that second voice, but it was hard to recall. It was recent too, something he'd heard in the last few months… Naruto jumped slightly as he heard a colossal crash come from a few rooms away, the sounds of carnage and persuit coming closer.

"I said I was sorry! But sensei TOLD us that is didn't really need a full team to complete! Have mercy!"

"No! No no no nonono NO! You're getting your punishment and then you're going to the Hokage and taking a full week of D-rank missions! That's what you get for skipping out on your team just so you could play pranks!"

"Waaah! Kaa-san!"

Naruto's eyebrows rose several centimeters. A few things went through his mind as the voices seemed to be just in range. First he felt incredibly sorry for whoever was on the receiving end of this angry mother figure. Second he was wondering exactly who these people were and why they were living in the same apartment building as him. After all not many people actually wanted to live in the same house as the Kyuubi Jinchuriki. And lastly… he vastly approved of pranks, therefore this girl couldn't be too bad.

Naruto frowned suddenly.

…Unless this cute frightened feminine voice he was hearing belonged to the one responsible for rearranging everything in sight! In which case she would soon experience the true definition of terror!

"HOLD STILL!"

"NO!"

Naruto heard the despairing tone and couldn't help himself. He jumped down the stairs and stalked down the hallway, preparing to peek around the bend.

"No! Onii-chan! Help! Mom's going to kill me! Onii-chan!"

He reached the corner just as something blurred around it. Naruto, while moving at a crawl, was as yet unprepared for the battering ram that hit him. All he saw was blond hair and a lot of orange before he was driven to the floor underneath the fleeing girl. A split second later he heard the stomp of footsteps and he felt a not-inconsiderable killing intent fill the immediate area.

He looked up.

The first thing his eyes met… were two stunning sapphire orbs that were nearly identical to his. Then he took note of a few other things. Namely the lightly tanned skin, blond pigtails, sharp canines and… whisker marks?

Naruto found himself staring into the terrified but still very attractive eyes of his sexy jutsu.

"Onii-chan! Quick! Use Hiraishin! Get me out of here before Kaa-san kills me!"

"Hiraishin?" was all he could manage.

Why was she calling him her brother? Why was she still straddling him like this? And why, oh why… did her chakra not feel like his? She was obviously his sexy jutsu, she just…..

Oh… no, she wasn't his sexy jutsu. The analytical part of Naruto's brain suddenly started to piece apart his previous assumption. No, the eyes were wrong. His sexy jutsu's eyes were smaller, less blue. His own jutsu had more green/blue eyes. And her hair was longer, a lot longer than his jutsu's. Follow that up with the fact that he could feel her measurements were skewed. Her bust was smaller and her hips were wider…

"ONII-CHAN!"

"Uh… who are you?" After all she obviously wasn't his sexy jutsu… Sexy, but not a jutsu.

"Na..ru..ko….."

Naruto and the girl were both suddenly ram-rod straight at the demonic voice. Naruto looked over the girl's shoulder even as she turned around, fear plain in her eyes. And standing before them in the hallway… was someone he recognized instantly.

The Shinigami was after all… hard to miss. With long crimson hair and furious blue eyes, she looked like a vengeful goddess. And to Naruto, whose logical brain also registered the fact that this terrible being was his mother… (and still another part argued that his mother was supposed to be dead, never mind walking around threatening people) …he found himself seized with the desire to escape.

Fortunately for the girl masquerading as his sexy jutsu he had a sense of honor… Needless to say he took her with him.

The demon/mother/rage-monster was left behind, tearing through an army of clones which all tried their best to delay her…

OOO

OOO

A few minutes later Naruto stopped running and rested against a large tree in one of the few places no one in the village ventured. The forest of death. Well… there were a few people who came here but it was infrequently and only Anko ever stayed for long. He knew that she was currently on a mission right then… so he felt fairly safe hiding here. If she wasn't on a mission there would have been no way in hell he'd some near this place. He did have a sense of self preservation after all!

Naruto drew in a long breath as he let his rapid heartbeat slow. Usually he didn't lose his cool like that, but that woman (his mother…?) scared the living hell out of him for some reason he couldn't understand. Her rage stirred such a primal fear in him that all he could do was spam shadow clones and bolt for safety. Naruto swore he could almost hear Lee bemoaning his un-youthful departure…

Fuck Lee! He didn't have a death wish!

At last he managed to get his breath back. He turned to see the blond sexy jutsu he'd dragged with him lying against a tree. She was still breathing hard, either from trying to keep up with him, or from terror. Either way it looked like she would survive.

"Oi... you okay there?"

Her face turned to regard him and she nodded once. "Yeah. I'm fine now… but why didn't you use Hiraishin? We could have been out instantly instead of running."

"…."

"Why are you giving me that look Onii-chan?"

"I could ask you the same question. Why are you calling me Onii-chan?"

Her eyes narrowed slightly and she stood up, moving to him. Naruto glanced around as she stepped in close, her nose at his chin level. She frowned and poked him in the chest.

"..?.."

She crossed her arms over her bust and stepped back. "Yep, you aren't a girl… so I can't call you Onee-chan. For a second there I was worried my dear big dumb Aniki was hiding something from me." She nodded to herself as if confirming something. "Yes… you're still my Onii-chan."

Naruto blinked uncomprehendingly. "Okay….."

She looked up again. "Something wrong? You don't look so good. I mean I know you're probably going to have to explain to mom why you helped me get out of her punishment. Sorry about that."

"…."

"You're giving me that weird look again Onii-chan." She quickly looked down at herself as if to make sure she wasn't having a wardrobe malfunction. She turned around twice and then glanced back at him perplexed. "Do I have something on my face?"

Naruto scratched the side of cheek, wondering just how to tell her that he didn't have a sister. Or the fact that his mother was dead… or not, but still Kushina Uzumaki was supposed to be gone. He'd met her in his subconscious during his fight with Kurama. He'd never see her again after that… or so he thought.

Everything that had happened since he'd woken up not long ago was upside-down and backwards. His bathroom was supposed to be to the left of his bed… but it was now on the other side of the room. His entire room's contents had been rearranged. It seemed like he might have woken up in an entirely different house all together! There were just so many things that were wrong with this day. If it wasn't for the fact that falling down the stairs hurt like a bitch, he'd have thought he was dreaming.

"Um… how should I put this? I have no uh… memory of you."

A look of dawning comprehension washed over her face. "Oh wow! When you went out to celebrate your promotion with the guys last night you must have gotten wasted…" A sudden grin flashed across her face as she gave him two thumbs up. "And here I thought Jinchuriki like us couldn't get drunk! I guess I do have something to look forward to when mom starts letting me drink!"

"That's not what I mean…"

"Okay.. what do you mean? I mean really. You're joking right?" She pointed at him while making her voice childlike and sing-song. "You, Naruto Uzumaki Namikaze!" She pointed to herself. "Me, Naruko Uzumaki Namikaze." She shrugged. "Remember, brother/sister? That kind of thing?" At his expression she sighed. "You're trippin bro…"

"Am not! I just woke up and walked into the wall because the bathroom wasn't where it's been for the last ten years. And then I fell down a flight of stairs that shouldn't have been there. And now I see you. And you look just like a girl version of me but I'm an only child as far as I know."

He looked away at her slightly hurt expression. "I remember mom, but she's dead… along with dad." Naruto groaned as he felt a massive migraine looming over the proverbial horizon. He quickly sat down, placing his hands on either side of his head. "I'm just really really confused right now."

"Yeah, me too." She kneeled down next to him. "Now that I think about it, you aren't acting like your usual self. For one thing you didn't do anything to your hair. And you woke up really late, which you never do. You said you fell down the stairs. The Naruto I know isn't that clumsy."

"Thanks for the info…"

"Not to mention you're not wearing your new ANBU stuff. Why the hell did you put that on anyway? I haven't seen you wear that since we were like fourteen and you went through the last growth spurt."

Naruto groaned again as his head pulsed dully. "Too little orange. Fuck my head hurts…"

She frowned again, her sapphire eyes locking onto his. "You're not kidding are you? You really don't know who I am." A grinding sound was audible as Naruto clamped his teeth hard together. His eyes narrowed with pain, losing focus on her. "Okay… okay… this is crazy." She bit her lip. "Dad is out on a diplomatic mission right now. Mom isn't in the mood to talk. After that I'd usually go to Jiji, but he went with dad… Jeeze who do I go to?"

A few moments passed as she wracked her brain for a solution. Then it dawned on her. Of course! She would bring her brother to the experts on the mind. Ino would know where her dad was and she wasn't on a mission either as far as she knew. So Ino would be at the Yamanaka flower shop.

Naruko grimaced as her twin (but older by a few minutes) brother clenched his knuckles. He'd gone very pale. It was at that moment when she felt a tug in the back of her mind. A strong disturbance that sent her into a mild panic. She bolted upright, grabbing Naruto and hefting him onto her shoulder. Under normal circumstances she would have blushed handling a guy as ripped as him, but she didn't have time for it right now. Sending chakra to her legs and core muscles, Naruko centered her brother's weight on her back and darted off through the forest.

"Today really sucks the big one…" She muttered to herself. "If this happens every time I skip out on a mission I'm gonna have a spotless record after this."

OOO

OOO

Ino Yamanaka was tending the flowers inside her family's shop when she heard the frantic knocking on the front door. She turned her head, blinking in slight surprise. "Come on in! The door is unlocked!" But the knocking continued. She sighed and pulled a hand through her long platinum blond hair. "Who could it be? The sign says we're open. Are they blind and deaf?" Ino put down her watering can and stepped quickly to the door, opening it in a swift motion.

Immediately her face turned a bright shade of red. Standing in the doorway was her friend Naruko, one of the Uzumaki-Namikaze kids. And on her back was an unconscious Naruto. The young man, who'd been inducted into the ANBU just the night before, was grimacing from some pain. "Ino-chan! Naruto needs Inoichi's help!"

"Huh?!" Ino stepped back, letting them in the shop. "But Kaa-san and Tou-san were called to Suna. They had someone on the council make an attempt on the son of the Kazekage. They needed someone to read his mind. They left this morning. Put him down and tell me what happened!"

Naruko glanced around for a second, not seeing any suitable place to drop her brother. "Um… sorry Nii-chan." She abruptly dropped him, just catching his head to prevent him from causing anymore damage. "Listen Ino. Something happened to him and he doesn't remember me or anything. He says that everything since he woke up has been switched around."

"Really? That's not like amnesia?" Ino frowned, her blush fading. "I know him and Shika-kun went out with the others drinking but he can't get drunk can he? That's why he's the one who always brings them home."

"I know!" Naruko bit her lip. "listen please. The Kyuubi, it's acting up really bad right now. I couldn't get him to the TI department or to your clan compound. I hoped your dad could go through his memories and see what is wrong."

"No good. They're both gone for the next week at least."

"Can you do something about it then?!" Naruko was almost shouting now. She needed to get back to her mother so she could help her deal with the Kyuubi.

"I can, but I'm not so good at diving into memory. Most of my jutsu are for combat like Kaa-san."

Naruko growled. "Do what you can! I have to go!"

"W..wait! You can't just leave him with me?! Not alone!"

Naruko darted to her feet and dashed to the door, turning back to glare at Ino. "Try to figure out what is wrong with my brother! And don't do anything Hinata wouldn't do!"

With that the blond pigtails disappeared, leaving Ino with Naruto's unconscious form… or wait…

"I..Ino-chan?"

"N…Naruto-kun!?"

One pained eye cracked open. "Kun now Ino? That's…" He trailed off as if searching for the right words. "…interesting." He groaned and attempted to sit up, Ino using one hand to support him. "Jeeze. The whole way here was one big blur. Where am I?"

"My parent's flower shop." Ino answered as Naruto sat up fully, shaking his head slowly. She noted a few odd things about him then. First his hair wasn't as neat as it usually was, though that wasn't saying much. But much more out of place was the fact he was wearing a fairly tight fitting orange and black jacket. It strained with each move he made, showing off his muscles.

Lastly… the way he was acting. It wasn't like the cold and collected Naruto she knew. It wasn't exactly bad in her opinion. She liked Naruto, but he needed to loosen up some.

"Ouch… that bad huh? Guess she thought I needed your old man." Naruto massaged his temples with a frown. "Actually not the worst idea with how mixed up everything is in my head. I wouldn't mind getting some help from your Tou-san. Where is the grump by the way?"

Naruto didn't mention that there were some serious problems with that reasoning… For instance the fact that Inoichi was supposed to be dead. A Biju-dama tended to be one of the more 'final' ways to die. Right behind getting vaporized by Sasuke's Amaterasu.

But he didn't say anything about that.

Ino blinked at him for a moment, completely unused to this… this candor Naruto was displaying. "Did.. did you just call Tou-san a grump?"

Naruto glanced at her briefly then, seeing her well for the first time. "Well I call them how I see them. Oh wow…" He hadn't really looked at her until now but she was different. "Ino-chan? When did your hair get so long?" His cheeks reddened slightly. And as soon as she noticed her face lit up, though she quickly tried to hide it.

"I don't know what you're talking about Naruto-kun. My hair has always been this long." She pulled a few strands away that had fallen in her eyes. "Do… Do you like it like this?"

"Um… sure." He grinned lopsidedly and finally managed to break eye contact. He was always a sucker for pretty girls with long hair. "In the end Jiraiya finally managed to get me." His smile faded and he turned his attention back to the matter at hand. "Anyway where's the old shrink anyway?"

"Kaa-san and Tou-san are on their way to Suna for a mission." She fidgeted as he looked back at her.

"You can use your family jutsu can't you?"

"Yes, but I only have one non damaging technique that my Kaa-san taught me. I can't actually project other's thoughts like she can. And Tou-san showed me his combat mind jutsu. Actually I've been training my elemental affinity…" The way she said it made it sound like there was something significant there. "Did you know we have the same affinity?"

"Really? You have Futon affinity too? I thought Asuma was the only other one in Konoha."

"Well… Asuma and your family." She put in.

Naruto cringed slightly. "Yeah… about that. I don't remember any of them."

"W..what?!" Ino leaned forward, plainly shocked. "What could you mean by that? Naruko said you didn't recognize her, but I thought she was mistaken. Do you not recognize your own sister?"

Naruto turned to her and tried to make her see how serious he was. "You need to understand Ino, I don't remember ever having a sister." He rubbed at his head again, feeling the ache returning. "I remember growing up in the village as an orphan. Fuck everything is so mixed up. I can't think straight. If Kurama would just shut up and let me sort through everything."

"Naruto-kun, give me a moment. I'll enter your mindscape. We Yamanaka can do that… I can help you sort through your memories. Please let me help okay?" He nodded and leaned back on the floor. Ino seated herself in a position that would prevent her from falling over when her body went limp. She took a deep breath and placed a hand on Naruto's temple, feeling his hot skin. "Okay. Clear your mind as best you can Naruto-kun."

He closed his eyes as she activated her mind walk technique.

OOO

OOO

Ino opened her eyes, blinking as she found herself in a colossal room. Then, as suddenly as she was there she saw it. Him. The massive beast glared down at her, its crimson eyes taking in her presence with a casual distain.

"Hmph! Yamanaka child… pathetic. You couldn't even push past my fractional mental block. How weak could you be?"

"Oi! Shut he hell up fox!" Naruto seemed to materialize out of thin air next to her. "Show some respect ya know!"

"Naruto… what is the meaning of all this?!" The Biju pushed forward till his snout brushed the cage bars. "When I woke, not forty minutes ago I found myself looking through your eyes… and who do I see but my late vessel! WHO IS DEAD!"

Naruto snapped. "Stop shouting! Why do you think Ino-chan is here dumbass? She's a Yamanaka!"

"As if a Yamanaka could figure out what I could not. Your mother was killed by ME… Why is she walking around trying to punish a sibling who shouldn't exist!? I had assumed that there was a limit to the insanity that follows in your wake, yet it seems I was wrong… AGAIN!"

Ino shivered at the volume and took a step back. Naruto turned to see her retreating and stopped her. "Hey, Ino-chan don't mind him. He's just pissed because he doesn't know what's going on. Usually he's a lot more reasonable, even when he's angry."

"Kit…. Watch what you say around me."

"Oh go jump off a cliff why don't you… not that there's a cliff big enough to be anything more than a small jump, but you get what I mean. And stop scaring Ino-chan. She didn't grow up with your furry ass."

"Remind me why I put up with your constant stupidity."

"Because I kicked your ass in one on one combat. I think that's the main reason why. And… because I'm the only one in recent memory whose tried to make friends with you. Now can you stop glaring at Ino-chan? I know what game you're playing."

"Fine…. But the Yamanaka girl better get me some answers. I want to know why the woman who kept me chained to a burning boulder made of lava for two decades is alive and well. Regardless of how much you may benefit, Kushina's sudden reappearance doesn't comfort me in the least."

"I hear ya furball, but you should really learn some patience. You are immortal remember?

"Yeah yeah… shut up and let the child do her task then."

Naruto nodded and turned to Ino. "Sorry about that Ino-chan. Kurama and I are just really confused right now. We're hoping you can help…"

"O..okay… I just never met a… a…"

"One of the Biju?"

"Uh huh…" Ino shifted uncomfortably. "Is he smaller than Academy said he was?"

"WHAT!?"

"Kurama calm down! She didn't mean it like that." He sighed. "Yeah, he's smaller in here. But if he were to appear in the outside world he'd be full sized. Right now he's only about one fifth normal size.

The fox grumbled and lowered himself to the ground. "Well girl… get to it."

She gave a quick nod and placed a hand on Naruto's shoulder. "Okay… I want you to think about something important in your past. Something that might help us figure out what is going on."

"You mean like stuff that I remember that doesn't match what I've seen today?"

"Exactly." She smiled. "That's what I mean Naruto-kun. Or something…" Suddenly she stopped as the mindscape around them changed instantly. The young Yamanaka heiress watched in amazement at the elasticity of his mindscape. Most people didn't have anywhere near this much control over their subconscious space. And that was when she saw it. The great hall, with its grey stone walls and floor, twisted and was gone. She found herself seeing an image. But no, that was not enough to describe what she was seeing. She was transported back in Naruto's memoires….

Back to a battlefield.

There she saw two figures, one yellow and one purple. The first was a young man, strikingly handsome. Every fiber of his being blazed with an incandescent white hot flame. Several black balls hovered around him and he clutched a long ebony staff in one hand. The other was wreathed in purple flames, his strange alien eyes spinning. They fought and danced, the world around them blown away in their passing. Trees, forests, entire landscapes disintegrated with each mighty strike.

Then there were two great explosions of chakra. Before her eyes Ino witnessed a towering purple humanoid figure, clad in violet armor and wielding swords of pure chakra, each as long as a tree was tall. And the other, obscured by an explosion of water for but a moment and now revealed, was a fox. Its entire body was ethereal, yet as it moved the ground sundered beneath its feet.

Two fists extended, colliding in mid air. And the lake they stood in was no more. The sock of the impact alone blew the water from the bowl that moments before had contained it. The battle continued in earnest, purple on blinding yellow, demon against chakra construct.

Ino's eyes were wide as the vision faded. It was replaced by a dawning sunset… and two young men, battered and broken who lay across the stone rubble. The battle seemed to have ended now. She watched… and listened as they spoke, their words were as blood flowing through the same veins. They were brothers. All the emotions of the battle rushed into her as she watched, unable to comprehend what she was seeing.

This was impossible. None of this had ever happened, not in her lifetime.

- "I've…. Lost…"

"You Idiot! This fight isn't about winning or losing! It's about punching a sulking friend to make him snap out of it! That's what its about! The real match I want comes after that!"

"… hey Naruto…"

"…eh?"

"I just acknowledged you."-

"Eh… Naruto… why are you showing her these memories? I can think of plenty that are more to the point."

Ino blinked and almost fell as the scene in front of her faded away, leaving the great chamber behind. She turned quickly, looking for Naruto. And there he was, standing with the Kyuubi… on the other side of the cage. It was then that Ino noticed something that should not have been.

The cage was open.

"Hey, you know furball. That was one of the best and worst days of my life. I thought it was plenty important… And besides I don't exactly have a memory of my mother dying. And there certainly isn't a memory that shows my 'sister' not being born. I had to make due."

"Well, personally I would have chosen the one where the elder Yamanaka gave his last message to the United Shinobi forces. Seeing how she has mentioned that her parents are both alive… and we both know that they should be dead."

"D..Dead?!"

Naruto found himself being tackled by a frantic Ino, her eyes wide and her grip like iron. "What do you mean my parents are dead! They aren't! I'm telling you Mom and Dad are on their way to Suna! What are you talking about!?"

"Ino..Ino! Let me explain! This is exactly what I meant. I don't remember this family that you say I have, I never had a sister, this village should still be being repaired from the Great War and the aftermath of Kaguya's jutsu!"

Ino froze as the world around them twisted again. Naruto looked around, realizing that Kurama was taking things into his own hands. The fox manipulated the mindscape as well as he did, though with more effort and attention to detail.

Both of them watched… and listened. The battlefield was vast, filled with men and women from every village. Ino saw them all, standing together receiving one last message from HQ. She knew the voice that came over… the voices actually… of Shikaku Nara and Inoichi Yamanaka. Her and Shikamaru's fathers. They were in the last moments of their lives, preparing for the Tentails Biju-dama to drop.

Her heart beat loud in her ears as she heard the last words of her father from Naruto's perspective, dressed in golden flames. And then she heard her name, called by her father, telling her how much he loved her, to be strong, and to make sure she took care of Shikamaru and Choji… after all they couldn't do it themselves.

Even though her mind told her this was only a memory, a part of a reality that could exist, it none the less hurt. To hear her own father projecting his final words to her, giving her one last goodbye…

"KURAMA CUT IT OUT NOW!" The memory froze and shattered like glass. Again the chamber and the three of them were all that remained. Naruto was holding her as she shook. "Ino… Ino-chan… it's okay. You said you're parents are alive. You don't have to worry about that now. Okay? It's all going to be fine."

"Tsk… This girl is different from the one we knew. She didn't break down like this when she heard the news first hand. We are obviously somewhere we shouldn't be." The fox shifted, his crimson eyes falling on them heavily. "Girl… tell us what do you know of the Akatsuki?"

"Kurama shut up…" Naruto hissed. "Give her a chance to recover would ya!"

"Our current need for information outweighs my sympathy for the girl. You… Yamanaka brat. Tell me what you know of the Akatsuki."

"Why?!" Naruto growled. "Why ask that?"

"A theory."

"Care to elaborate on it then?!"

"Shut up Naruto. This is more important than the feelings of a girl who we have never met."

"Like hell I've never met her! She's Ino!"

"Not the one we know." Kurama stated coldly. "Listen to me. Think of what you know of her from this meeting so far. She is acting more like the Hyuuga girl than the Ino we both remember. She even stuttered! Can you imagine Ino Yamanaka stuttering?! I think not! She is just like your 'sister'. We have never met her whether we know Ino or not."

"Damn it Kurama, why do you have to make everything so twisted around?! I don't understand what you are trying to say!"

"Grrr… THINK! We could be trapped in a Genjutsu for all we know! I personally doubt it but the truth is this! We have no clue what is going on! When we slept last the Fourth Great Shinobi War was over and we were rebuilding! And now we wake up and everything in different, from the room in which we wake to the people we have known for almost a decade!"

Naruto finally shut up. It started to sink in, Kurama's words setting up shop in his mind. It was true. Ino wasn't acting like her usual self. She seemed almost as meek as Hinata, though without the prominent physical ticks that the shy Hyuuga displayed. "So what is your theory Kurama? Why ask her about the Akatsuki?"

"Because Naruto… your 'sister' is the same age as you or slightly younger. I can plainly see that. Yet we do not know what has happened in this world. The Akatsuki is deeply intertwined with events in our world. Asking her about the Akatsuki will give us immediate feedback on the state of this place we are in."

"Okay… I understand that." He frowned and looked down at Ino. She was still there, but her shock had worn off and her eyes now darted between them with a frightened curiosity.

"W..what is the Akatsuki?"

"See Naruto… that there explains a lot. Seeing how your sister figure, that we both know doesn't exist where we come from, is your age it means that the… and I'm going out on a limb here… that this timeline has moved on without the interference of Obito in the very least."

"You mean?"

"Yes… It means that wherever we are at the moment… this world, Genjutsu, illusion… whatever it is. The Akatsuki is likely still under the direct control of Yahiko or Nagato, meaning their purpose never became that of Obito and Kurozetsu."

"Are you saying… what I think you are saying?"

"That we are possibly in an alternate dimension where the Great War never happened? Yes. I am saying that is a possibility."

Naruto closed his eyes and looked to Kurama. "This is unreal. How could this be happening to me? I mean, I just went to sleep after helping rebuild the Academy with the others…" He turned to Ino. "Do you know anything about Kaguya Otsutsuki?"

Ino shook her head.

"How about a creepy guy called Kurozetsu. He's half black on one side and his skin is bleached white on the other. He has weird greenish orange eyes and looks like a human Venus fly trap."

She shook her head again. "I don't know who either of those are."

"Kit… ask about me."

Naruto glanced back to Kurama. "You mean about the Kyuubi attack?" He nodded. "Hey Ino, do you know about the Kyuubi much? For instance it getting free about seventeen years ago and going on a rampage?"

Ino blinked and shook her head once more. "All I know was what Tou-san told me. He said that your Kaa-san had twins and the strain caused her seal to weaken so much that it broke. The Yondaime divided the Kyuubi in half and sealed half into each of you. The Kyuubi didn't really have a chance to do anything. The village didn't even suffer damage."

"And you see? There is another thing that proves it. Obito never interfered with your birth and so your parents didn't have to sacrifice themselves to save you. However… Kushina didn't have twins originally. Not that it really matters. It seems that Obito hasn't been interfering much at all."

Ino sat up strait. "Naruto… er… Kurama, why do you keep asking about Obito-sensei?"

"EH?!"

"What exactly do you mean girl?"

"It's just that Obito… or at least Obito Uchiha is a Jonin sensei in the village. He's teaching at the academy in his spare time." She bit her lip uncertainly and seemed to shrink in on herself. "Unless you're talking about a different Obito…"

Naruto sighed. "Looks like the while storyline's been altered then. Kurama. What do you think is going on here?"

"Beats me. By the looks of it though, I would assume that Rin is still alive."

"Rin? Are you talking about Rin Nohara? She's Hokage-sama's assistant." Ino looked concerned. "Did she die like my father? Naruto tell me! Where are you from and why are you so different from the Naruto I know?! Why do you have memories of battles that never happened and of people dying who I just talked with yesterday!?"

"Ino-chan…" He sighed. "Kurama and I? We don't know the answer to that. But it's just the opposite for us. We don't know why you spoke with people like Inoichi or Obito when we know they died. Even Obito. I saw him die before my eyes. He died saving my life and yet you say he's alive and well. I don't know what's going on any more than you do."

Naruto pulled a hand through his hair, taking in the sight of the distraught girl. "Even you're different from what I remember. You were a lot more outgoing and bossy than I remember you. And you dress really different. Even the way to talk is like, just more shy than you were."

"Girl.. look at me…"

Ino turned her gaze to the Kyuubi.

"I have lived inside Naruto from the day he was born. Trouble follows him around like a lost puppy and he's never been able to stay out of things that don't concern him. I have watched the entire time… as he has failed… as he has succeeded… as he has lived. I can tell you truthfully girl, I do not understand why we woke up here. Was it not for the fact that it's nearly impossible to cast an illusion over me… I would assume we were trapped inside a powerful Genjutsu."

"See Ino-chan? We don't know any more than you. It seems to me like you have lived one life completely apart from mine… and the same for me. It's like two different stories written with the same characters…"

"Quite an accurate description actually. Although… I would say the truth is far more complex than that. I… and this is admittedly a guess… think that we are trapped in a parallel dimension."

Naruto and Ino shared a look. Naruto frowned. "Well that doesn't sound very good. Is that to say I have replaced the version of me that people here know?"

"It's purely speculation, but perhaps."

"And would I be going out on a limb to imagine that the version of me from here… is in my place back home?"

"Sounds fair, but it also seemed to cut and dried for it to be the case. And more to the point all of this is conjecture. For all we know this is an extraordinarily elaborate prank. Although the only one with the skill and balls to try something like this would be you." The fox snorted loudly. "Either that or the Uchiha brat is behind this and someone out in the world is missing their sense of humor."

Naruto deadpanned. "Are you implying that the only way Sasuke would have a sense of humor is if he stole it?"

"Am I? Oh dear… I do believe you're right."

"Stupid fox…"

Kurama huffed and levered himself up. "All joking aside, this is still a serious matter. Although for the time being we have to assume that we are trapped here, seeing how there is no way of us knowing how we came to arrive in the first place."

"True enough." Naruto stood up, helping Ino as we went. Once both of them were standing he turned to Kurama. "Alright… there's no real point in staying in here for much longer. Plus Ino-chan is gonna run out of chakra sooner or later. I'll see you around. Keep an eye out if anything seems off that I don't notice."

"Got it. Don't do anything stupid on your end. I know it's your specialty."

"Eh!? Go fuck off fleabag! I'll summon you to the outside and paint your ass pink!"

"I'd like to see you try, insolent kit!"

"Oversized plush toy!"

"Stubborn retard!"

"Um… could you stop…?" Ino looked like she might faint from the killing intent being thrown around.

"Grr… Very well… Get going the both of you. My patience is worn thin."

"Fine, come on Ino-chan."

"..okay Naruto-kun."

OOO

OOO

Ino blinked her eyes open and straightened. A second later she heard a groan from in front of her. As he vision cleared she saw Naruto sitting up. He blinked a few times, looking around. "Well, it looks like we're in an interesting situation huh?"

"Y..yes…" Ino nodded. "I suppose your right… Naruto-kun."

Naruto's eyes turned to lock on hers. "By the way… why are you calling me kun? I mean, it's not that I mind or anything, I'm just not used to it from you." She bit her lip again, something that Naruto noted was a physical tick of hers. Kinda like Hinata and poking her fingers together. It was admittedly a little cute.

"Um.. well I like you Naruto-kun… It's just normally I wouldn't say anything. Usually Hinata-san and Sakura-san are always trying to get your attention and I don't get a chance to say anything." She glanced away hurriedly, a bright blush spreading up her cheeks. "Whether or not you're the Naruto I know I can't help but be like this… It's the first time I've actually been completely alone with you."

"…."

"W..what's wrong?" Ino asked, worried now that she said something wrong.

"Nothing." Naruto sighed. "Can I ask how I usually am? You know, how does the Naruto you know act?"

Ino cast her eyes downward. "I'm not sure I should tell you."

"Why not?"

"Well…" She looked back up, sudden determination in her eyes. "I've always liked you. Since we were little you were always to nice to me even if you didn't say much to me otherwise. You look nice…" Ino gulped at his slack jawed expression. "Ah! What I meant to say was you're really handsome..!"

Naruto blinked and directed a finger back to himself. "You're talking about me?"

"Yes." She nodded vehemently. "You're really strong and I like your goals. You always wanted to protect your friends and be Hokage. Dad used to say that he saw you doing great things in the future. I…" Her blush deepened if that were possible. "It's really odd telling you like this but the way you are… You're a lot more approachable than the Naruto I know."

"Yeah, at least our goals in life are the same." Naruto turned away. He couldn't even begin to say how awkward this was. She did realize he wasn't the same right? Or was she trying to say that it didn't matter? Or was she confessing to him because she could say it to the 'other him'? "You know this is only the second time a girl has really told me her feelings like this."

Ino's head shook slightly. "No… I didn't. Who though?"

"Er… the Hinata that I knew."

"WHAT?!" Ino's face started turning pale. "She's always…!"

"Wait! The Hinata I know is probably different from the one you know. I know for a fact that you act different from the Ino I grew up with so please don't jump to conclusions." He scratched the back of his head nervously. Damn it. He didn't know how to react in these situations save for being brutally honest. "I didn't mean to stop you. If you're serious about how you feel then I'd want to know. Kurama says I'm dense when it comes to this kind of thing…"

Ino nodded as if that made sense to her. "If… if that's the case then…" Naruto blinked as her hand shot out, grasping his. "I know this is probably very odd. But I like this different you even more than the one I knew. It might sound shallow but I could never tell him how I felt because he was always so cold… You seem so much more open and friendly. You aren't silent and you wear your emotions out on your sleeve." Ino's cheeks colored again. "I like that…"

"I.. Ino-chan…?"

"Forgive me Naruto-kun. For being so sudden…"

Naruto opened his mouth to ask what she meant, only to find her lips pressed to his. Ino's fingers were infiltrating his jacket even as she kissed him. He didn't know how to react for several seconds.

What did he do?!

He'd never been kissed like this except for once and that girl was trying to kill him! This Ino was so completely different from the one he knew and he wasn't even in the reality he recognized as his own! How was he supposed to react to her in this situation?!

Six seconds into the kiss his brain restarted and he dipped into Jiraiya's infinite well of wisdom, acquired from nearly three years with his Godfather. As the old man would have said. If you don't know what to do and it isn't going to kill you, go with the flow.

So he kissed back.

And he wasn't too afraid to take some hints from Jiraiya's book series either. After all he was the one he forced to proof read all of his erotic literature. So… it seemed like Jiraiya wasn't a completely useless pervert. Just a regular run of the mill one.

Certainly Ino enjoyed it. As he deepened the kiss Ino let a small moan pass her lips. In the same moment her hands slipped under his jacket, finding his chiseled muscles. He couldn't help but enjoy it just as much. The satin of her lips and the needy touch of her hands were turning him on fast. It didn't help that she'd pressed in so close, her breasts caught between them and rubbing against him.

Naruto was finding rather quickly that he loved this. The hot kiss, deepening the longer they stayed connected, was sweet. It made him wonder if she'd been eating chocolate not too long ago. And her scent was mixing with the aroma of the flowers that filled the shop. Kami this was amazing. He le his hands wander, his fingers smoothing over the exposed skin of her waist until they found the small of her back.

Ino gasped into his open mouth as he pulled her harder against his chest. "Naruto…" She moaned again and Naruto couldn't help but groan when her hips ground down on his lap. They broke apart for a brief second and both sucked in a quick breath before they closed for a second time. Neither noticed the door opening to their left.

"Onii-chan! I brought mom as fast as I could once I explained the… situation…to… her…"

Naruto's eyes, which had drifted closed shortly after returning the kiss, snapped open. They flicked to the side, taking in the sight of two women in the doorway. First was his presumed sister, who looked like she was halfway between a blush and a full scale Futon jutsu aimed at his face. Her expression was slowly twisting into something that would have terrified Shikamaru, instilled not some small fear in Pervy Sage, but barely made him wince.

After a few years with Sakura… he'd seen worse.

Still, that didn't prevent him from disengaging from Ino, who mewled in protest, or glancing at the figure behind his newly acquired sister figure.

She was of average height, perhaps a bit taller with red hair down to the backs of her knees. She was wearing a green dress over a white short sleeved shirt. He thought he recognized the outfit as being similar to what she wore in his mindscape when he fought Kurama. However the part that disturbed him was the odd combination of expressions mixing in her beautiful features.

First and foremost seemed to be anger, followed by disappointment, and yet heavily influenced by smugness. He honestly didn't know where the smug look came from, but the rest was fairly clear.

…just not focused on him.

"So… Naruko-chan… please tell me… you claimed that Naruto-kun was in some kind of trouble and that he'd lost his memory of you. You also claimed that the Kyuubi was giving you trouble, but right about the time I took a look at your seal, the trouble went away. And now we sprint halfway across Konoha to help and instead of an unconscious young man this is what I find?"

Naruko was lost for words as her head turned from Kushina, to Naruto and back again. "I.. ! This?! It wasn't like this when I left!"

Kushina seemed to ignore this as she stepped further into the flower shop. Her fierce blue eyes bore down on Ino with the crushing weight of an angry parent. Naruto felt the killing intent rolling over him… He didn't so much as blink, but he'd been there to fight Madara and Kaguya. This was beyond nothing to him. However Ino wasn't so lucky. She'd frozen, still almost straddling him, her hands having failed to return to her person. Her baby blue eyes were wide with terror as her face paled to resemble parchment.

"K…K…Kushina…?!" She yelped as the matron of the Uzumaki clan placed a hand on her shoulder, her blood red hair falling into her eyes obscuring her vision. A dark aura permeated the air, filling all (save a certain blond hero of the world) with unimaginable dread. Then ever so slowly Kushina raised her head…

…. to reveal a bright and cheery smile, her white teeth gleaming. "Fucking finally! Some girl at last managed to get the courage to take charge! Now my sochi-kun can start on his harem dattabane!"

OOO

OOO

That's it for this chapter. I'll post a poll for the pairing after this. But please be aware. I may or may not use those that receive the most votes. I'm only doing it to gauge which pairings my readers like best. Also… if a girl isn't in the poll… don't expect them to be with Naruto.

As always reviews and criticism is welcome. Flames will be ignored. Harassment will result in being reported to FF management. Thank you and enjoy.