Summary: Padawan Ben Solo struggles to repel Snoke's odious influence while coming to terms with his feelings for fellow student Rey of Jakku.

Parings: Rey and Kylo Ren/Ben Solo

Continuity: Jedi Academy AU; Rey is 19, Ben is 23.

A/N: Somehow, I found the strength and inspiration to finish this little fic and I'm really grateful. It's been weighing on me because I try to never leave a fic unfinished! Hope you enjoy it; I'd love to hear your thoughts and soft reylo headcanons 3

Special Thanks: ToughSpirit (x2!) | Sarah | Huntress2391 | Leah | Broken2018

Admiration
Part III
By: sushigirlali

Could you move in slow motion?

Everything goes by so fast

Just slow down a little

Save the best part for last

Ben slowly stirred, shifting as a repetitive pressure in his side started to annoy him. "Poke me once more and see what happens," he grumbled into his pillow.

"Okay, tough guy," a lightly accented voice murmured before jabbing him again.

"Scavenger," he said affectionately, blindly reaching for Rey's lithe form.

She allowed him to pull her next to him, laughing as he pinched her pert bottom. "I borrow parts from the shop one time and—"

"Borrowed?" he interrupted, turning over to face her.

"Fine," she sighed in mock exasperation, "stole, but that doesn't change the fact that I made some much-needed improvements to Master Luke's ship."

Ben snorted, trailing a hand up her body to push a few errant strands of hair behind her ear, "I still remember the look on Luke's face when we found you knee deep in engine parts."

"He was so mad," Rey grinned, taking his hand and bringing it to her lips, "but you took the blame, like always. My hero."

Ben's heart felt full to bursting. "Do you honestly see me that way? As a hero?"

She leaned closer, rubbing her nose against his. "Yes."

All his doubts seemed silly now, when only a couple hours before he'd been sure about them. But Rey didn't see him as a monster or a descendant of the mighty Skywalker bloodline, she just saw him. "I love you," he said softly, cuddling her closer.

"I know," she replied smugly.

"Hey, I'm being serious here," Ben pouted, pinching her butt again.

"None of that now," she laughed, kissing away his frown.

"No?"

"Well," she leered, "maybe some of that. We definitely have better things to do than argue."

"We do?"

"Oh, yeah," she promised, playfully pushing him onto his back again. "Nap time is over, lover."

Ben choked as she kneeled between his hard thighs. "Wh—what are you doing?"

"What do you think?" she smirked, looking him over with hooded eyes. "You really are proportionate to your size, Solo," she said appreciatively.

"Uh…" Ben's brain stalled as she grasped his manhood.

"Loth-cat got your tongue?" she inquired, squeezing him experimentally. "Like this? I didn't get to touch you much before."

"M—move your hands up and down, like—yeah! Like that," he shuddered under her shy caresses.

"Faster?"

"Uh—no," he murmured, closing his eyes against the pleasure; the visual of Rey's small fingers gripping his cock was almost too much.

"Harder?"

"No, thank you." Was she trying to kill him?

"No, thank you? Well, at least you're polite."

Ben's eyes snapped open at her clipped tone. "Rey, what is it? Are you okay?"

"No, I'm fine, just… am I doing it wrong?" she frowned, maintaining the same slow rhythm. "What can I do to make it better?"

"Oh," he said, realizing the issue. "Rey, if you make it any better, I'm going to make a mess," he admitted frankly.

She sucked in a breath, then smiled, "I'd like that, actually. I'd love to make a mess of you."

Ben blushed under her hungry gaze. "You're amazing," he sighed, touching her hair again. But this time, he wrapped his hand around the back of her head and tugged. "If that's how you feel, then would you…?"

"Yes," she said eagerly, already lowering her mouth to kiss his flushed tip. "Mmm, salty."

"Sorry, it's the—"

"Heat?" She paused to lick him again. "I already told you, I like the way you taste." And then she was engulfing him between her pink lips, bobbing her head in time with his harsh breathing. Her movements were a little clumsy at first, but she quickly got the hang of it.

"Rey!" he cried, gripping her hair for purchase. "Wait! I'm—oh, Force!" Ben's back bowed and his dick slid to the back of her throat. "Rey! Fuck! Are you—ah!" His concern dying on his tongue, Ben barely held on as Rey seemed to lose herself in tasting a man for the first time. He could feel her in his mind, probing his fantasies, his desires...

"You already know what I want," he said without conscious thought. "You're what I want. You're perfect, perfect for me." Rey hummed around him in agreement, and the minute vibrations nearly tripped him over the edge. "Wait! Stop!"

Pulling back with a disgruntled glare, Rey wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. "What? We were just getting to the messy part!"

"I want to come inside you."

"Oh!"

"Only if you want me to," he said in a rush.

Rey crawled back up his frame and hovered over his erection. "I want you to," she said, pointedly pressing her dripping pussy against him.

Ben gulped, palming her hips. "You take control, I don't want to hurt you."

"You could never hurt me," she said confidently. "I've been inside your head, remember?"

"I'll never block you out again," he vowed, clenching as she separated her nether lips with two fingers. "I love you, Rey."

"I—ah—love you too!" she gasped, slowly sinking onto his thickness. "Oh, my—Ben!"

"Rey, I—does this feel as good for you as it does for me?" he grunted, trying not to squirm as she enveloped him inch by inch. "Tell me what you need."

She nodded, bracing her hands on his wide chest. "Just—just be still for a minute. It feels good, but you're—a lot." Her thighs tightened on either side of his hips as she determinedly sank lower.

"Take your time, sweetheart," he encouraged. "There's no need to rush."

"I know, but I want—ooh!" she broke off on a moan as the fine hairs of their sex met. "I—I just can't believe this is finally happening! It's—ah! Ben!"

Fully seated within her at last, Ben struggled to fill his lungs with air. The oppressive heat and humidity outside had nothing on Rey's warmth and he felt like he was burning up. Thick fingers nipping into her waist, he made a strangled sound when she unexpectedly flexed her inner muscles. They were a tight fit, but Rey didn't seem to be in any pain. Just the opposite, in fact.

"Are you alright?" she queried after a moment, pushing sweaty strands of hair away from his face.

He cupped her flushed cheeks in answer, pulling her within range of his lips. Instantly feeling more grounded, Ben caught his breath by sharing hers. After what seemed like an eternity, she gently raised her hips, sliding almost all the way off him before forging the connection again, finding a languid pace that had them both on edge. Yet, their lovemaking remained soft and slow, existing in the space of one breath to the next. Of one heartbeat, one soul…

It was then that a word surfaced in his mind, something he had read once is an obscure tome: dyad. The exact definition eluded him, but Ben felt it beating like a tattoo in his mind. Leading him somewhere, drawing him into a separate world… but not alone. No, Rey was there too. Reaching for him… for the balance between them, light and dark. And the moment their hands touched...

Rey suddenly began to shake in his arms, her climax taking them both by surprise. "Ben, I'm—it wasn't like this last time! It's never been like this!" she panted, biting his shoulder, his chest, anywhere she could reach. "I don't know what to do!"

"It's okay, you're safe," he murmured, smoothing his hands up and down her back. "We're both safe forever," he comforted. What's more, he knew it was the truth; nothing could separate them now. They were made for each other.

"Then be with me!" she whined, still teetering on the precipice. "Be with me, Ben! Please!"

"I am." It was freeing to be in love, to be loved in return. He had feared giving into Rey's desires for so long, but now he knew that there was no difference between what she wanted and what he wanted. They were fated, just like Rey had said; soulmates bound through the Force...

Ben groaned harshly as he allowed himself to let go, to come apart in her arms, spilling his seed in an uncontrollable flood of passion. The pleasure was so intense, so sharp, it was almost painful, but then he realized why: Ben could feel Rey's ecstasy as well. "Force, Rey! Do you feel that?"

"Yes!" she screamed. "I feel it too!"

Supporting her weight as her strength gave out and she collapsed across his damp chest, Ben pumped into her a few more times to extend their shared delight. But, inevitability, exhaustion claimed him as well.

You're an unfenced fire! (for last)

Over walls we trampled! (for last)

It's you I admire! (for last)

Ben roused first this time, shivering despite the fact that Rey was still blanketing him. Though it was barely dusk, the weather had taken a turn. His once steamy bedroom was now cool, the wind wafting in through his open window chilly. "That's weird," he muttered, carefully rolling Rey onto her back as he moved to shut the window.

"Hey, come back," she said groggily, wrapping her arms around his middle from behind.

"I'm here," he chuckled, throwing the latch for good measure, "just hold on for a second."

"Don't wanna," she complained, nuzzling her face against his back.

"You are so greedy," he joked, letting her drag him back to the bed. "We'll have to work on that in class next—oh, shit." Ben froze as he felt his uncle's Force signature approach the front door.

"Are you decent?" Luke called, knocking merrily. "And there's no need to sneak out, young lady, I know you're in there," he added good-naturedly.

"Oh, no!" Rey's hazel eyes were huge in her elfin face as she tracked past Ben to the door. "Ben, what should we do?"

"Get dressed," he said numbly, hastily pulling black trousers and a matching long sleeve shirt from his dresser. He threw the latter at her and tugged on the pants, scrambling to look presentable before their master grew impatient and stormed inside. Quickly looking her over, Ben was pleased to see that his shirt fell to her knees.

"What else?" she asked anxiously.

"Hair!" he responded, grabbing his brush and motioning for her to turn around. Rey complied and he quickly put her to rights, picking up some of her pins and ties off the floor and securing her locks in an Alderaanian plait.

"All done?" Luke said with another knock.

Glaring at the door, Ben ran the brush through his own hair once, then smoothed out his rumpled bed while Rey stowed their discarded clothing in his hamper. "Almost!"

"Are you sure? I can always come back later."

"Just hold on!" they yelled together, giving the room a once over before looking at each other again.

"It's going to be okay," Rey told him, reaching for his hand.

Ben slid his fingers between hers and gave them a squeeze. "I know."

"Right then," Luke said, strolling into the hut as soon as Ben waved a hand to unlock the door. "Now that the two of you have finally figured things out, I must ask that you please cease and desist with manipulating the weather. It's not fair to the other students and inhabitants of this planet."

Whatever they had expected Master Luke to say, it wasn't that.

"What?" Rey gaped.

"Really, younglings, you must have noticed that our moderately temperate planet has suddenly experienced a change in climate today. Several changes, actually." Luke looked thoughtful. "It does seem to be evening out now, though. Likely due to the strength of your dyadic connection."

"So, it was because of us," Ben said in awe, recalling everything that had happened between them today. "Because Rey and I are a dyad in the Force."

The old Jedi texts in Luke's study mentioned Force-users powerful enough to affect the weather of whole planets, but Ben had never considered it could happen in real life. If the legends were to be believed, two Jedi Masters working in perfect harmony could do just about anything. And if those Jedi were also a dyad...

"You knew?" Rey tilted her head in interest.

"I suspected," Ben replied. "It started getting unseasonably hot when we were in the training center and then uh… you know… when we, um…" He trailed off in a mumble, recognizing that his uncle was still very much in the room.

"Ohhh…" she nodded in understanding. "But then why is it so cold now?"

"To balance out the heat?" Ben guessed.

"Precisely," Luke said, sounding amused. "So, if you're going to be together, please don't wait until the balance of the planet is at stake to, you know, be together."

"Are you giving us permission to have sex?" Ben said dumbly.

"I very much doubt I could stop you, so it seems like the prudent thing to do."

"You mean you're not throwing us out?" Rey said hopefully.

"Of course not," Luke scoffed.

Ben's mouth fell open in shock. "And we can still be Jedi?"

"Rey will obviously remain my Padawan when you graduate to Jedi Master, but yes."

"Really?"

His uncle rolled his eyes. "I can see that this conversation is going to take longer than I anticipated."

"But love is forbidden for a Jedi!" Ben exclaimed.

"For the Jedi of old, perhaps, but we are not them."

"No, we're not," Rey agreed, leaning against Ben's side.

"Uncle," Ben said, voice cracking with emotion as he put his arm around Rey for support, "thank you."

Luke beamed at them both, "You're very welcome, nephew. Now, I have some other news I wish to share with you."

"What is it?"

"Since the truth of our lineage has been revealed, your mother has suffered a blow in the Senate. She intends to come stay here for a while with your father."

"They're coming here?" Ben was astonished.

"They want to see you. To explain."

"They do?"

Luke's expression softened. "Of course they do. I'm only sorry they haven't been able to come sooner. You must forgive an old man's foolishness. I've been clinging to what the Jedi were, not what they ought to be. But we're going to change that, from this day forward. Okay?"

"Okay!" they said enthusiastically.

Still, Ben had a few reservations. "Uncle, can we talk later? Snoke's influence seems to have weakened, but—"

Luke waved away his lingering fear. "We can, certainly, but you have nothing to worry about. You will not fall to the dark side, Ben. Not now, not ever." He smiled as he backed up to leave. "Snoke doesn't know it yet, but he's already lost."

Ben knew it too, but nevertheless, it was a relief to hear the words from his uncle, his hero. "Thank you," he said again.

"No problem," Luke winked as he opened the door. "See you around, kids!"

My living example...

It's you I admire!

My living example

Rey and Ben collapsed onto his bed, laughing uproariously.

"I can't believe it!" she said happily.

"Me either!" he sighed. "All that worry for nothing."

"Not for nothing," she protested, curling into his side. "You needed to work through your fear."

"Thank you for sticking by me while I did." Ben closed his arms around her, kissing her soundly. "I'm glad you didn't give up on me."

"I'm glad you gave me a chance to get through that thick skull of yours," she teased.

"Yeah, well, it's really hard to say no to you when you want something."

"Which just proves that I have excellent taste in partners!"

"Partners?" Ben stared into her bright eyes.

"Life partners," Rey said seriously. "You're stuck with me, Ben Solo. Forever."

"Forever?" Meaning he would have someone in his life who loved him as much as he loved them? Someone who would never leave him alone again? Yeah, he could handle forever. "Deal."

-FIN-

A/N: Thanks for reading my work! This was actually pretty therapeutic for me since I haven't been able to write much since TRoS. I truly believe that Ben should have reconciled with Leia and Luke and gone on to live and atone for his mistakes. I'll always be crushed that he didn't. Anyway, defy every cynical narrative 3