A/N: My interpretation of what Severus and Lily's friendship was like while at Hogwarts. I thought it would be interesting to see a muggle-born wizard struggle to make the adjustment from the muggle world to the wizard world. In this case, Lily was thrilled at first to join the wizard world only to later find out that things aren't as easy and wonderful as she imagined. This story has some sad and dark themes.

Young Severus lay awake in bed staring at the dark emerald green canopy over his bed. The sounds of his Slytherin friends' snoring irked him. Why should they be able to find peaceful slumber while his mind was running a marathon? He couldn't possibly sleep with Mulciber's growl-like snore permeating the room. It was a wonder anyone slept.

He and Lily had circled the halls having a conversation, one Severus dreaded. She did not like his friends, of this he was well aware. She had made a bullet-point list of things of which she didn't approve, and Severus had listened respectfully through most of it. Once she'd unburdened herself with all of his flaws, He'd turned it right around.

"Right, right. You've made your points clear. Now it's my turn."

As soon as the words had left his mouth, he'd wished they'd stayed at bay. His tone was much more confrontational than he'd meant, and Lily's show of placing her hands on her hips made it clear she was not having it. He'd never understand how a tiny little thing like Lily with her thin, delicate frame, porcelain skin, and innocent child-like features could dominate and overrule just about anyone she stood against. Still, the words were out there, and he'd been silent about his opinions for long enough.

"You harp on my case continuously, but you never say a word about your boyfriend, Potter, and his lot and their incessant, insufferable behavior." He said through a clenched jaw. Lily's eye nearly twitched with her discontent.

"He is not my boyfriend, Severus! And I'll thank you to stop saying that he is at every opportunity. You're just jealous-"

"Jealous!" Severus scoffed. "And just what is it do you think I have to be jealous of, hm?" He demanded as his deep black eyes captured hers and refused to let go.

Her shifting eyes and look of confusion made it clear that she wasn't entirely sure of herself. She was lost for words for a moment but quickly changed direction. "I barely talk to him. I don't like him. I'm not even friendly to him, so I don't know why you insist on throwing him in my face every few minutes!" She said indignantly.

"You say that, but-"

"And even if I did like talking to him, what's that got to do with you, hm?" She mimicked his earlier tone, invading his space.

His shoulders slumped. He didn't want to argue with her. He didn't even really know what to say, and they'd had this conversation many times before. It never ended well. Instead of drawing the white flag and making amends with her, he'd stormed off in the middle of their argument like a pathetic child.

He huffed and buried his face in his pillow. He could only guess at how angry she was at him. Maybe she was stewing in the unresolved argument. This was the best case scenario. More than likely, she'd forgotten completely about it and him. Maybe she was thinking of James Potter and his ridiculous mess he called hair. She may be laying awake, just as he was, with daydreams of being with Potter. The thought drove him mad.

His train of thought was not productive. Thinking on such negative things wouldn't help him find sleep. His mind started to drift to happier times, summers with Lily. A Hogwarts free summer meant no unnecessary distinctions and no one else to make things complicated between them. At home, she wasn't a Gryffindor, and he wasn't a Slytherin. It was just Lily and Severus. No Avery or Mulciber, no Lucius Malfoy, no James Potter or his gang.

Every summer that passed, Lily was busier and busier. Years ago, Lily spent nearly every day with Severus at the library, the playground, the woods, or the river near Spinner's End. The days were long and hot. Lily's mother would pack Lily two bag lunches of sandwiches and fruit in her messenger bag.

She'd known Severus's favorite was peanut butter and banana with a side of grapes, and that's what he received everyday. She occasionally threw in leftover baked goods in his. Her mother had often mentioned how thin he was when he came over and shoved food into his hand at every opportunity. Even Lily would hand him her own food when he ate particularly hastily in front of her, something he'd tried hard to avoid.

The pair were inseparable. When Lily wasn't playing with her overbearing sister, Petunia, she could be found at the side of an eager young Severus. For reasons he kept to himself, he was up and out of the house every morning before the sun fully arose. For awhile, he'd spent his lone mornings perched by clusters of trees at the edge of the woods within sight of Lily's house.

In Severus's view, Lily liked to sleep her mornings away, and so his morning companion was a collection of dusty works of magical fiction and folklore until she dragged herself out of bed. Every morning, he looked up from his books only to watch both of her parents leave for work, and then he would glance up every now and then hoping she'd come out early. When she finally did make an appearance, in a bright, summery dress and with a cheerful little skip, she knew exactly where to find him.

He suffered from terrible insomnia. He had deep, bruise-like circles rimming his eyes, and a lethargic posture that strictly contrasted the robust approach of his friend. One day, he must've appeared particularly lackluster, because Lily's footsteps slowed as she saw him. She'd frowned down at him and yanked his book from his hands wondering if perhaps the stories were beginning to get to him.

"You look awful, Sev. Don't you ever sleep?" She demanded tapping her foot as she regarded him. He stood laboriously, rubbing his eyes.

"Not well." He sounded as apathetic as he looked. He held his hand out to take his book back, but she clutched it disapprovingly. "Maybe if you didn't stay up all night reading this-this, this, dark grimoire every night, you'd be in better shape." She looked at him expectantly, but he only shrugged. "I only read because I can't sleep. What would you have me do?" He still held his hands out for his book, waving his fingers insistently. She gave it back with an uncertain twist of her lips.

"Why can't you sleep?" She asked. He shrugged again looking down absently at his book. He didn't have anything to say on the matter and wished she'd let it go. She seemed to sense his discomfort and shifted the conversation. "I don't know why you wake up so early when we actually get to sleep in…" She looked at him, but still he said nothing. He was so exhausted it was a miracle he could stand.

He could see the wheels turning in her mind as she looked at him, never a good sign. He'd spoken very little about his home life to her, but she was a sharp girl, very perceptive. She was respectful enough not to ask, but she knew enough to be concerned.

"You know, you don't have to sit out here and wait for me. You can come inside and sleep if you want. The couch is pretty comfortable." She said, a kindness permeating her voice. He had his defensive retorts built up, but he swallowed them at the offer. It took him a minute to process the words he wanted to say. "Your parents won't mind?" He asked rather timidly for him. It wasn't like he hadn't thought of it before she offered. The thought of overstepping his welcome made him nervous.

Lily opened her mouth to speak, but snapped it closed, biting her lip. He knew her parents were accepting, but their old-fashioned views didn't permit two girls and a boy alone in the house together. Lily looked up at the sky. "Maybe just wait until my parents leave for work. And whatever you do, don't go upstairs. Petunia would have a cow."

"But she'll tell your parents." Severus said with an edge of annoyance. Petunia was a nettlesome brat to put it kindly, and he didn't bother hiding his distaste with the sister she so loved. "No she won't. I caught her with her boyfriend shut up in her bedroom at the beginning of the summer. She wouldn't dare." Lily said with a sly smile.

From then on, Severus took up residence on her sofa for a few extra hours of sleep every morning. He was almost always awake when Lily descended the stairs, and they would discuss where to go first. The library was Lily's place of choice, a hotbed of pretentious muggles and a collection of what they called literature. As energetic as Lily was, this always surprised him. He'd tried to read some of the books she'd suggested, but he found muggle musings to be utterly intolerable and devoid of real content. How she spent hours and hours combing through the pages of these books about the drama of muggles and their insignificant lives, he never knew.

She knew he didn't get it and spared him the in depth analysis of each book. He'd overheard her too many times bestowing that honor onto her muggle friends, who giggled endlessly over the charm of some Ralph de Bricassart. They garnered pleasure from the knowledge that they were deemed too young to partake in such an adult story. Severus rolled his eyes at the memory, thankful that Lily had grown out of some of her previous tastes

If he'd had his way, they would've gone to the river everyday. The river was almost always deserted, and they'd had the whole area to themselves. Sometimes, they'd sit and just talk. Other times, they'd wade through the gently moving water and catch fish with their bare hands. When Lily was feeling particularly adventurous, she'd strip down to her modest bathing suit and dive trustingly into the cool water.

Severus had joined her occasionally, but he wasn't comfortable in any state of undress. Even simply removing his overly large outer coat was an imposition, and water-logged clothes soured his mood. Even then, he knew he didn't like the river spot for anything other than having her to himself.

Lily was quite the popular girl with many friends and family that adored her. Severus was easily cast to the side in a room of loud muggles cawing for her attention. He was her 'quiet friend' she'd always felt the need to explain away. He hadn't missed the strange looks her muggle friends had cast him.

He couldn't look inside minds at that time, but he didn't need to with the plainly read looks on their faces. They couldn't fathom why a girl like her would hang around the likes of him. Though he'd stewed in hatred toward the possessors of those expressions, he'd found himself begrudgingly wondering the same thing.

Severus turned sharply from the threat of that thought spiral and settled on the memory of Lily stealing Petunia's bicycle for him when she'd wanted to ride out to the annual carnival set up miles away. It was too long a walk, but a relatively reasonable biking distance. Lily had just returned from a month long summer camp excursion, and Severus had missed her more desperately than he'd allow himself to believe.

The sound of her distant laughter as she chatted happily with her sister drifted his way, and his heart squeezed excitedly. She'd returned with a wicked sunburn, cuts and scrapes across her skin, and still an excitement for the next thing on her unending agenda.

"Severus!" She'd called from her open bedroom window, having spotted him in his usual spot near the edge of the woods in perfect view of her house. He dragged his head from his book as though he was surprised by the interruption, but it was no accident that he was perfectly in place to be spotted from her bedroom window. He'd been there for hours, and it annoyed him that it had taken her so long to notice him.

She waved emphatically at him, and he was glad she couldn't see his irrepressible eager grin from their distance. Her head disappeared from the window, only to reappear with the rest of her at her front door. He rose to greet her. She was winded when she made it over to his reading spot, but that didn't stop her from throwing her arms around him in a quick embrace. He didn't have time to take in much more than the smell of sunscreen before she retracted and beamed at him. He'd barely gotten a question in about how camp had been before she was shoving an ad poster for the carnival in his face.

"I saw this on the way home. Wanna go with me?" She bounced on the balls of her feet as she regarded him.

He quirked an eyebrow at the paper skeptically. He didn't have to research it to know it wasn't going to be his thing, but he found himself nodding without argument. He didn't care what they did in that moment, just as long as he was with her. She squealed at his consent and pulled him up toward her house. And then he realized the mistake he'd made.

Lily wasn't usually a girl of sound logic, rather, she favored impulsivity and acted on the simplest whims. She'd pulled out her own bicycle before Severus could protest. "It's too far to walk. We'll have to bike." She said and secured her sister's bike in her other hand. Severus had protested mildly, but he'd given in quickly despite having never ridden a bike before.

He was amazed by the power she'd had over him, having only been gone for a month. It was enough to have him eating out of the palm of her hand. The afternoon devolved into Lily teaching him how to ride the bike, which took an absurd and embarrassing amount of time. By the time he'd gotten it down, the carnival was all but forgotten, and Petunia came bounding over having noticed her missing property with a shrill protest.

The memory inspired a small, raspy chuckle, a dark sound in the even darker bedroom. Lily's summers were indeed becoming busier and busier with the passing time. The dynamic between Severus and Lily was changing. Lily's world was opening up before her, Severus's was closing in on him. Now in his sixth year, he wasn't the same needy child that clung to Lily like she was his only source of light. She may've been, but he had the faculties to cope with such things on his own now.

They may've had less and less time together with the passing years, but the moments were more acutely felt for Severus. Lily was a free spirit, a fact that both intrigued and annoyed him. Her head was in the clouds while Severus tried to tether her to solid ground. The girl sometimes acted as though she believed her actions held no consequences. More than likely, she hadn't even considered them at all. For a bright girl, she could be quite thick.

At school, this was different. She kept calm and collected, levelheaded and thoughtful. Very much like a Slytherin. Part of Severus doubted the sorting hat's choice of house for Lily. She would've made an excellent Slytherin, and Merlin knows it would've been good for her to be around likeminded people. Together, they could've kicked her obsession with the muggle world along with her more impulsive nature to the curb. She'd be as unhindered as he, if only that blasted Gryffindor house hadn't sunken its ideological sewage into her and polluted her mind.

The evidence of its influence unleashed in the summer time, when Lily had the time and freedom to frolic with muggles and engage in their inane customs. When he was younger, he would follow her and participate with few protests, but as he aged, he simply refused. He wouldn't sink to such a level with her and her squealing group of girlfriends. They went to the movies, the beach, to concerts, sporting events, the circus, parties, barbecues, loud social events, the pool, and the list was ongoing. They went to the mall nearly everyday, and really what could be so interesting there that she felt the need to visit so often?

Unfortunately, he suspected he knew exactly what held her interest. The thought of the hair-flipping, overly cocky muggle boys he'd seen standing around the food court turned his stomach nearly as much as James Potter did. Severus was hyperaware of the way they looked at Lily and her friends as they walked by. Their eyes lingered on Lily's long legs exposed in her miniskirt. Though the girls didn't look their way, they purposefully slowed their pace as they walked by, laughing in low tones.

Lily liked the attention she was getting. Severus couldn't believe how she was acting, how she was lowering herself to levels he hadn't anticipated. She would never act in such a demeaning way at Hogwarts, the thought would never have even occurred to her. She'd be too busy with her studies, the atmosphere not allowing for quite this brand of foolishness. He couldn't wait for school to start back.

The day before they were back on the train to Hogwarts, Severus found himself back in his old reading spot near enough to see her house and occupants in the yard. He'd come to this spot less and less, just as he'd spent less and less time with Lily. But every now and then when he felt lonely or too curious to keep away, he'd settle against the tree and switch between reading and watching the house. He could barely see a sliver of her bedroom, but it contained part of her bed and a mirror that reflected the other side of the room. He spared only a second of thought mentally scolding her for not closing her curtains before feeling grateful for her foolish, trustful nature.

The goal wasn't really to spy on her, though that's what he was doing. He'd hoped to be spotted in his old place, like she'd done many times previous. Why he didn't just knock on her door and ask to speak to her, he wasn't sure. She surely would've welcomed him like she always did. It could be his pride wouldn't allow him. A darker train of thought reminded him that she hadn't purposefully been avoiding him like he'd been doing with her. She'd actually forgotten all about him. Clearly she had, for his house was only a five minute walk down the street, and she was well aware of his whereabouts. She hadn't seen him in more than a week, calculated on Snape's part, and she hadn't even bothered to check up on him.

He narrowed his eyes at the girl sprawled on her bed chatting happily into the telephone. She was still in her pajamas at noon, and as she hung up the phone, she found the inspiration to change her clothes nearly in front of her window for the world to see. Severus could only see the edge of her backside as she stripped her shirt off, no bra underneath. With a deep sigh, he dropped his gaze back to his book. Even annoyed with her behavior and total obliviousness, he still respected her privacy.

It had been made crystal clear that her mind was elsewhere. She wasn't going to notice him. He'd resolved himself to go back to his bedroom and finish packing when she emerged from the house, her arms full with two large sacks.

"Severus!" She called smiling widely.

She was wearing knee-length jean shorts and a plain white t-shirt, her hair hanging in loose curly strands about her form. Her sunglasses shielded her eyes but didn't hide her excitement. She couldn't wave to him with her hands full, so she bounced excitedly instead. His annoyance melted away as he regarded her, and he made his way hastily to her side tucking his book under his arm. She was struggling to tug the car door open, and Severus ran to grab it for her.

"Thanks!" She said as she tossed the full bags in the back seat. With her hands free, she turned to him with an expectant smile. "Where have you been? I thought you'd come by, but when I went to your house, your dad said you'd gone back to school already." Lily said with a puzzled tilt of her head. Severus felt warmth bloom in his chest. She had come looking for him, she hadn't forgotten him at all. He couldn't contain a smile, so he acted as though he was scratching his mouth and covered it. "My father isn't known for his convictions for the truth." He said simply, but his tone was colored with the warmth he felt.

Lily beamed at him. "Well, I'm so glad you're still here! I've got to have this laundry washed before I pack. Do you want to go for a ride with me?" The smile brightening her face was conspiratorial. Confusion furrowed his brow. "A ride?" He looked at the car they stood next to with uncertainty. Lily smiled with all of her white teeth showing as she held the keys to the car up. "My parents gave me this car! Isn't that groovy?" She jumped in place excitedly.

Severus did not find anything to be 'groovy' - a ridiculous muggle term Lily heard on some American TV show she fawned over - much less Lily behind the wheel of a car. Transportation vehicles were a necessary evil in the muggle world, but that didn't change his harsh view of those who drove them. He didn't find any muggle to be competent enough to handle such a weapon-like machine.

As for wizards who sunk to using such a faulty mode of transport, Severus had no words. Nothing could be more pointless when one had the ability to apparate to anywhere in the world. Of course, he and Lily were underage and could not implement such methods until they turned 17. Still he was concerned by her interest in handling the dangerous muggle equipment. He tried to keep his face carefully expressionless as he looked her over.

"You're not even of age." He said as though he'd made a valid point. He couldn't care less about muggle law. She shrugged unconcerned. "Not technically, but I've been practicing all summer. I'm perfectly capable. Hop in!" She said slipping into the driver's seat before he could protest.

He stood awestruck by her bold stupidity as she cranked the engine to a soft puff. She rolled the window down and turned her head in his direction with a mischievous smile.

"Get in, Severus." She said in amusement.

She knew he'd do what she'd asked, even if he didn't understand it himself. "This is a terrible idea. You'll be caught by the police, or worse, you'll wreck and hurt yourself." He shook his head vigorously as she beckoned him forward. His protests only seemed to encourage her. She watched him for another moment before shrugging. "Suit yourself." She switched the gear to reverse.

"Wait-" Every sensible thought in his mind shouted for him to stay put, and yet he found himself clambering into the passenger's side, stiff as a board. She turned on the radio, and the sudden blasting music startled him. "Must you play the music that loud? You won't be able to concentrate with that racket." He said, but she ignored him as she backed out of the driveway smoothly and pulled away. He gasped as she increased her speed, and she laughed lightheartedly. "Don't be such a square! Loosen up a bit! I'm a good driver!" She said tapping the steering wheel off beat from the music she was trying to emulate.

"I'm not a 'square,' as you say. I hardly find it outside the realm of reason to be concerned. Muggle inventions are dreadfully flawed at their most operational, and we're barreling lackadaisically within one with a long history of death attached to it." Severus was pressed firmly into the seat, his nails digging into the seat. He'd only ever ridden with his father in a car a handful of times for short periods of time, and his father was quite reckless.

"We are not barreling. I'm driving under the bloody speed limit." She scoffed. "Who set that bloody speed limit? It's no wonder there are so many accidents!" He hissed, and Lily sighed slowing a tad. Both were silent, Lily watching the road and enjoying the music, and Severus watching Lily's every move critically. "Aren't you going to learn to drive?" She asked after awhile.

Severus made a derisive sound in his throat. "Of course not. I've no need to do anything of the sort. What a waste of time when you can apparate." He said crossing his arms over his chest judgmentally. She flashed a small smile in his direction. She'd noticed that he'd managed to calm enough to settle into his usual snarky demeanor. He noticed her smugly eyeing his more relaxed body language and shifted spitefully back to his tense posture.

"You're a right git, you know that? When you manage to come up for air from your own ass, maybe you'll look around at what you're missing." Her head swiveled in the direction of some distant grass pastures dotted with patches of brightly colored flowers. Severus stirred from his simmering long enough to grab her wrist, forcing her attention. "Watch the road, Lily." He said sternly.

Lily rolled her eyes with a teasing smile. "Yes, Dad." She sneered ignoring his pointed grimace. "I just wanted to point out that magic doesn't always make everything better. If we'd apparated, we'd've miss the joy of the ride and the beautiful view." She said as she glanced out the window every now and then. Severus couldn't deny that, but it wasn't the driving sights that held his attention. It was the way the afternoon sunlight washed over her freckled skin and dark red hair, the whipping of that messy, curly hair in the wind of the open window, and the sparkle in her emerald green eyes. She was the beautiful view that made the drive seem worth it, and if the drive made her happy, he could learn to live with it. For now.

"How can you listen to this drivel? It's positively grating!" He said wincing at the loud disco instruments stealing his attention. He'd always pestered her about her taste in music, and she'd always clapped back with his lack of appreciation for any music. He didn't even like wizard music. Really he disliked noise, much preferring silence. "It drowns out your whingeing." She shrugged but turned it down for his benefit.

At the laundromat, Lily gave Severus one of the packed bags of dirty laundry and took the other. "This one is just t-shirts." She said as she settled her stuff at one washing machine. "I'm doing your laundry?" A sarcastic note slipped into his tone as he settled to the machine next to hers. "I think so." She smiled warmly at him as she started unloading her own bag of soiled garments into the wash indiscriminately.

"You've thrown something red in with the rest of it." He said as he started rifling through her dirty t-shirts. "It's fine." She said. But Severus hadn't only seen 'something red.' That something was a reminder of the influence of her muggle friends. Lily had walked around from the beginning of the summer picking at her bottom somewhat frequently. She'd tried to do it discreetly, and she believed she'd been slick, but Severus was sure he'd caught her just about every time while he was around her. He didn't want to be rude and ask such a personal question, but one day the curiosity had been too much.

"Do you have an itch?" He asked while she had her back to the wall of her living room digging in her pants. She froze and instantly withdrew her hand, standing stiffly. "What?" The word flitted from her mouth like she'd spit, though her voice was quiet. "You've been fiddling with your pants a lot lately. Itchy?" He wasn't sure where he'd gathered the gall to continue down this road.

Lily's cheeks warmed as she looked at Severus. "Nervous habit, I suppose." She said simply, but her reaction had discounted that theory. She'd retreated off to the kitchen, and when Snape followed silently after her, she was bent over picking a piece of paper up off the floor. Her rear end was firm in her low-riding jeans - riding low enough to expose thin red straps of a thong cutting into the pale flesh at her hips. The surprised words bubbled to the surface before he thought them through.

"It's your underwear." He said plainly, startling Lily back upright.

"What about my underwear?" The blush went from pink to red and spread down her neck as she roughly tugged her jeans up to hide the straps. He lost his nerve as her green eyes raked over him, and embarrassment settled. "Nothing. I'm just not surprised that you're constantly picking at your bum wearing those." He cringed inwardly as he said it, but he couldn't seem to stop himself.

Lily blinked several times as though she'd misheard him before crossing her arms over her chest and assuming her stubborn position. Great. "Excuse me, I don't remember inviting you to make comments about my underwear."

"I shouldn't have-"

"No, of course you shouldn't have. Pull down your trousers and let's see what you're wearing, hm? I'm sure I could make my own assessment." She said tauntingly and his mouth gaped a tad. "Don't be ridiculous." He rolled his eyes as though he had the high ground, but he was too sweaty to be believable. Lily pulled her wand out in mock threat.

"Be careful, Sev, I've learned a thing or two about pants removal spells from… people at Hogwarts." She'd tried to save it, but she'd managed to bring up both James Potter and one of the most humiliating encounters he'd had with him without saying it aloud. Her face fell as she awaited the sour mood that mentioning James Potter usually brought about in him. Graciously, he'd let it go that moment and changed the subject.

"Earth to Severus?" Lily had waved her hand in front of his face at the laundromat, and he snapped to attention. "What?" "Here." She placed a few coins into his hand. "For the wash, and a tip for your trouble." She smiled wryly. He tried to hand it back. "I'm already doing your laundry, so I might as well treat you this time." He said and dug inside the pocket of his black slacks. "Don't be-" He'd already started the machine and returned her change before she could finish her protest.

"Fine." She said, spinning on her heels toward the door to the laundromat. "Where are you going?" He questioned, but her exit was swift and punctuated by the ding of the bell above the door. He frowned, irked at her abrupt departure. He was trying to be nice to her. Could she really be so offended by his kindness that she'd leave him there? Furthermore, why did his every attempt at altruism somehow fall pitifully flat?

Five minutes passed, and although her laundry was washing and he could still clearly see her car, somehow he'd convinced himself she'd left. A storm cloud had settled overtop of him as he glowered at her spinning laundry. How stupid and unfair she could be sometimes, especially to him. She would've never up and left one of her muggle friends. But then again, her other friends weren't pathetic sacks like he was. She knew she could do whatever she wanted regarding him, and he'd forgive her and come crawling right back without incident. He cursed himself quietly under his breath.

He looked back up at the ringing of the door opening to find Lily with her arms full. The brooding thoughts retreated at her return, leaving him feeling satisfied and only slightly guilty for his negativity. With a smug smile, she forced a can of soda into his hand and arranged her tray of goodies onto the table behind them.

"If you're treating me to laundry, I'm treating you to lunch." Her smile widened as she handed him a hot sandwich and a basket of chips coated in ketchup. He was repressing his smile, but he could tell she wasn't fooled. "That doesn't seem fair. Lunch is more expensive than a rinse cycle. Here." He started to put his food and drink down so he could dig in his pocket, but Lily grabbed his wrists still.

"Sev." She fixed him with playfully narrowed eyes. He didn't move or say anything, and she smirked. "You're welcome. Eat." She tore into her own food ravenously. He slowly took a small bite, and she rolled her eyes. She knew as well as he that he could be just as stubborn as she was.

Later that night, Lily had invited him over for dinner. "If you want to spend your last night with your parents, I understand." She said with a weird expression. She seemed to struggle between the realm of awkward faux pas and polite, obligatory commentary. Severus just shook his head. "I want to come over." This time, he forced a small smile. He didn't want her to worry about offending him when she was trying to do something nice for him.

Dinners at Lily's house were always lively. All four of the Evans family members were chatty, even sour Petunia. She seemed to talk over everyone to be sure she was heard and pouted when everyone ignored her. Lily laughed a lot when she was with them, and that made Severus happy. The sound of her laugh always warmed his insides with its sweet, soft pulse. He, like most social situations he found himself in, was quietly listening and only spoke when spoken to.

After dinner, the family usually watched a movie together. Severus, being the guest, got first pick, but after a polite decline, Lily received the honor. Of course she chose a sappy romance with a dashing and heroic protagonist. He resisted the urge to scowl at the first few scenes of utter mush. Deciding against giving the film a chance like Lily had requested, he found his eyes wandering as discreetly as possible over to her. He sat beside her on the love seat maintaining a friendly distance, but they were sitting closer than they normally would given the tiny sofa.

She was curled in on herself with her legs tucked up underneath her and arms wrapped around her knees. Unlike him, her eyes were glued to the screen, eyes wide and eagerly drinking in each scene. Her shoulders stiffened at drama filled moments, she gasped frequently, and her cheeks warmed at the chemistry of the characters as they leaned in for their first kiss. Her teeth gnawed delicately on her plump bottom lip subconsciously.

He heard Lily sigh softly, a happy, contented sound. Severus blatantly looked at her, no longer worried she'd catch him watching. Her reactions were making his heart thud unevenly. He wanted to be the cause of that surprisingly sensual breath. She'd never paid him any attention in that way before, but he often wondered if she ever thought of him that way. He wondered were he to follow the lead of the bold male lead and pull her into his arms, capturing her lips with his own, if she would return his kiss. Maybe she would draw closer wanting more of him, his body pressing tightly against her own.

He was watching the lovers on screen intertwining their bodies in a modest love scene, but he was imagining her pulling him on top of her and wrapping her legs around him, his name slipping from her mouth as a sultry purr. The tiniest intake of breath gave away his excitement, and his lips snapped shut, his cheeks a rosy pink.

Luckily, everyone was as entranced by the movie as Lily and took no notice of him. He shoved the thoughts far away and returned to the movie carefully averting his eyes from Lily. This was certainly not the place to be having such inappropriately adventurous thoughts, especially in current company. His pants were too tight in a most restrictive and uncomfortable way. He covered himself with the ends of his coat and wrapped himself up tightly, wishing not to be seen at all.

When the movie had ended, he couldn't say goodnight fast enough. Embarrassed and self-conscious, he declined Lily's offer to walk him home and made his escape. In his bedroom - after relieving the tingly tension that had build at her house - he lay in bed daydreaming about Lily. It was obvious that she was interested in romance and intimacy, and with resentment, he speculated about the type of guys she was looking for. Bold, daring, confident, cocky, self-assured, handsome, the kind of guy that gets all the attention without even having to try. With a vicious scowl, he thought of James Potter before throwing that thought out.

No, he had faith in Lily. She wouldn't fall for his juvenile pick up lines and tricks. Only a braindead moron would fall for someone like Potter. Eliminating Potter from the equation, Severus could be what Lily was looking for. They had much in common. He'd never be popular, he'd accepted that fact a long time ago, but he could be bold and confident with a little effort.

The more he thought on it, he desired to be everything Lily was looking for. He wanted to be with her and give her everything she'd been dreaming about since she was a young girl. He could sweep her off her feet and romance her as well as any of those characters she'd been crazy about throughout their friendship. And he was real. Real, breathing, warm, and there for her. He would argue that he knew her better than anyone, and that had to be worth something. He'd thought eagerly of going back to Hogwarts. He was sure that once he was back in his element and she in hers, he'd be able to prove himself a viable mate.

Severus sighed deeply as he turned over restlessly in bed. They'd been back at Hogwarts for nearly two weeks, and the two had hardly had time to spend together. And what little time they had was spoiled by needless arguments. Lily wasn't the only one who'd been busy with other things. Severus was deep in studying the dark arts, and when it came to his personal life, the walls had eyes and ears.

The pressure to sever the friendship was not new, rather it was increased ten fold as he quickly approached adulthood. He'd soon be enrolled in formal Death Eater training, and that required full focus. None in his group approved of his affiliation with Lily, a mudblood as far as they were concerned. Lucius Malfoy was dead set against him having any ties with her or anyone else outside of the core group of Slytherin cohorts, and he ominously voiced his view often.

Even so, the thought of abandoning Lily to any degree was egregious and not to be entertained. He knew full well that Malfoy, Voldemort's favorite Hogwarts attendee, was watching his every move. He was considered valuable to the cause, garnering him a fair amount of attention within the group. But as much as he wanted to be strong and do what needed to be done, the truth was he couldn't bare to part with the girl he loved so deeply for so long.

As he tossed and turned, he resolved to seek Lily out first thing in the morning and resolve the conflict he'd let stew. Nothing else mattered until she'd forgiven him. What would come after was a mystery, one that would need attention and planning on his part to solve. How exhausting. With a wide yawn, Severus settled himself for a light, unsatisfying sleep. He had a whole school year to dwell on these things, and for the moment, his troubles could wait until morning.

Even restless sleep wasn't disrupted by the low squeaking of the bedroom door on hinges or the creaking of floorboards under a light footfall. The tall, dark figure approaching Severus's bed emerged into the moonlight, illuminating cascading platinum blonde hair and shiny blue eyes. Severus slept with a pucker between his brows as though he was discontented.

A long, slender arm descended on the sleeping figure, first delicately swiping his hair from his forehead before touching a fingertip to a troubled wrinkle on his forehead. "Legilimens!" A hissy whispered drawl blended among snores. The time was counted by the quick beats of Severus's heart, and slowly his brows relaxed and returned to a neutral position, almost peaceful. "Ah. Foolish boy." The finger retracted and thin lips brushed against the soft skin of his cheek as though placing an affectionate kiss.

"You put up a good front. You are even weaker than I could've imagined." The whisper was a near growl, disregarding the sleep of the young man. He remained unconscious as the figure glided like a wisp of wind from the room and left a blissfully ignorant Severus to his dreams.