"It's difficult..." She whispered. Not to anyone in particular. Just to say this out loud made it feel more real.

"To live a life surrounded by people, and to feel so alone without you..."

She closed her eyes, inhaling slowly, wishing the pain in her chest would disappear or at least distance itself. It was caving in, inching closer, soon grasping around her heart.

"Why won't it leave me alone?" She asked herself. The room became silent, minus her exhales of breathing, trying to keep herself calm. The only light in the room was an orange tint beaming in through a crack in the curtains.

Rising from the bed, she turned on the fan in front of her. The slight breeze flowed through her raven hair, lightly tickling her face. It also caused the curtains behind her to flutter, letting more dimmed light in every few seconds. She was unable to fall asleep again.

It had been five years since she last saw Yuzu. The day she had planned to marry someone else, only to regret it soon after. It was her grandfather's wish, to keep up with appearances and wealth. She was surprised to see that the blonde had even showed up.

Yuzu hadn't stayed long though as Mei watched her stepsister walk out quietly with a pained expression and all she could do was stay still, filled with guilt at the altar. She wanted to stop the wedding, to reach out and follow the one she truly desired, but Mei had already made this decision and didn't dare make a scene in front of everyone.

After the wedding ceremony, she searched through crowds hoping to find Yuzu. It wouldn't be that difficult, she always refused to change her hair back to its natural color. She couldn't find her though, and only hoped she would have better luck later on.

That time never came though, and she never saw Yuzu again. It's as if she disappeared off the face of the earth. She asked Ume countless times if she knew of the older girls whereabouts, but Ume was asked by Yuzu to keep it a secret. She didn't want to be found. Ume wasn't aware of their relationship as far as Mei knew, but she had a feeling that maybe Yuzu had discussed it with her at some point and it was another secret she was keeping.

After year two of the marriage, Mei became increasingly impatient. She was stuck married to a man she had no interest in, with a certain blonde always creeping into her thoughts. She thought she'd rather die than be legally bound to someone only to make her Grandfather happy.

So, she filed for a divorce.

Surprisingly enough, her husband at the time understood completely. He was honest with her and even agreed that he would be happier in the long run if she were with someone of her own choosing. In all honesty, he hadn't caught on even after she refused to sleep with him at the beginning of their marriage when they were meant to have a child together so there would be a family heir. She was slightly relieved at the time, not wanting to hurt him. He never once pushed the subject after that, figuring she would discuss it with him when she was ready.

The only reason he eventually knew was from her journal. He wasn't one to snoop and respected her privacy, but soon found out she never wanted this. Mei wrote in a journal every night and she would fall asleep at her desk sometimes while writing. Usually, he'd close the journal and wake her up, but something struck his eyes one evening. There were tear stains on the page. This caused him to feel concerned and curious of course, so before waking her he picked up the journal and began reading.

'Day 659

I must be crazy, to still be writing about you, Yuzu. I wish I knew where you went off too. I wish I could go back to the day at the altar and stop you from leaving. The man I'm with, he's truly a great person but I can't see a future with him. Not like how I did with you. I still hope for your return and I'll never stop writing, not until I see you again...'

A few other words were written, but hard to decipher since she must've been well passed exhausted and fallen asleep. He wanted to discuss what he had read with Mei, but knew it was already an invasion of her privacy. Sure, they were married but they never interfered with each other's business. After all, even in the almost two years they were together they never slept in the same bed and she never showed much interest in him. This was for their families, he kept reminding himself.

As the final months before she filed for divorce passed by, he had become more distant, although Mei never realized. He was waiting for the day she spoke up about how she truly felt. He felt relieved on the day she did. It made him happy she was being honest with herself for once.

She stayed as the chairwoman at Aihara Academy even though her Grandfather was very displeased with her decision to get a divorce. Over time, he began to understand and hoped she'd at least fulfill the rest of her duties while taking over the academy.

Now, three years later Mei continued to write in a journal and was kept up late nights hoping that Yuzu would magically appear at her doorstep.

'Day 1831

Is it wrong to still be hopeful, Yuzu? I wonder what you're doing right now. Maybe you've fallen in love with someone, maybe even married and have children. Surely, I must be obsessed. I bet you've forgotten about me, yet for some reason you're still all I think about. I'm surprised Mother is able to keep such a secret from me for so very, very long. In fact, it's been five years. It's torture. Why haven't you come to see me yet? I've been waiting for you.'

Mei set down her pen and sighed. She placed her hand over her forehead, feeling a headache coming on. She looked at the time on her cellphone. '2:43 AM'

Staying up late was normal for Mei anymore, finding it difficult to sleep most nights. She would wait until her exhaustion finally took over and she could no longer keep her eyes open. She was always known to fall asleep just about anywhere, but these days it was for a different reason. She could picture Yuzu scolding her many years ago for staying up at late hours, letting work take over much of her time. She used to get so annoyed at the blonde for not letting her work in peace. Now the only thing that would bring her peace is that same girl.

Suddenly her cellphone rang, startling Mei.

"Who would be calling at such an hour?" Mei asked herself.

There was no caller ID, but figured whoever was calling at this hour had a good reason for it.

Clicking accept, she slowly rose the phone up to her face.

"Hello?" Mei spoke quietly, unsure of who'd speak on the other side.

"M-Mei?"

Mei's eyes widened, surely she was dreaming. It has been many years, but she'd never forget that voice. Although, it did sound a bit slurred.

Mei stayed silent for a moment, struck with disbelief.

"A-are ya, uhm there...Mei?" The voice spoke again, this time a little louder than before.

"Y-yuzu?" Mei finally was able to speak.

"Uhhh...heya," A giggle and then a hiccup could be heard over the phone.

"Yuzu, why are you calling me so late and are you drunk?" Mei didn't want to come off as sounding so irritated, but how could Yuzu possibly think it was appropriate to call when she was intoxicated and after five long damn years of not speaking.

There was no response, so Mei questioned Yuzu once more.

"How did you get my number, Yuzu?"

"M-mama gave it to me a while *hiccup* ago. I, uh *hiccup* t-told her I'd call ya some time..." The end of Yuzu's sentence became more slurred.

'Just how much has she had to drink and why was she calling?' Mei kept wondering.

Mei ran her hand through her hair, feeling angry inside, but wanted to know that Yuzu was okay.

"Where are you?" Mei questioned in a stern tone. She was trying her best to stay calm.

"I'm looking for y-you, Mei" Yuzu spoke clearer, seemingly trying to act more sober than she actually was.

"Looking for me? How could you possibly know-" suddenly she was cut off by a knock at her door.

"Think I found ya!" She heard the blonde yell over the phone, and shockingly enough outside her front door as well. Surely, she must be so exhausted she was hearing things.

Mei's heart began to race. How could the girl she's been waiting for after so long suddenly be at her front door? Of all the years she was dreaming of this day, is it really possible? Is Yuzu really there?

Slowly walking towards her front door, with her phone still up to her ear, she partially opened the door, peeking through the crack.

She was actually there.

Mei dropped her cell phone and gasped. Opening the door wider, Yuzu fell forward but Mei was quick to grab ahold of her.

"What are you doing here?" Mei was filled with questions, but she was curious to how Yuzu found out where she lived.

"Nice to s-see ya too Mei!" Yuzu gave the younger girl a cheesy grin and her slurring continued as it did over the phone. Mei noticed at this point Yuzu was very intoxicated and figured the drunk girl wasn't going to give her any useful answers so she would wait until she sobers up.

Mei held a tight grip around Yuzu and could smell a strong scent of tequila from the girls breath. 'She can't even hold herself up, how did she walk here?' Mei was beginning to feel more anxious than angry now.

"I'm bringing you to bed Yuzu. Will you please try to walk?" Mei spoke in calmer voice, hoping the older girl would listen to her.

"Mm...s-sure thing," Yuzu managed to say.

It was more Mei dragging her to bed than Yuzu actually walking, but luckily the blonde wasn't very heavy. As she lay Yuzu down, she wondered what caused her stepsister to appear drunk at her doorstep. Many thoughts began running through her mind, but she was suddenly taken out of those thoughts once she heard Yuzu speak.

"Hey, uhm..Mei?" She sounded more tired than drunk now.

Mei looked down to Yuzu, who's green eyes seemed to be bloodshot and slightly wet.

"What is it Yuzu?" Mei became more concerned as she waited for Yuzu to respond.

Yuzu continued staring up at Mei, causing the raven-haired girl to feel nervous. Before she could question Yuzu again though, the older girl sat up and placed her hand on Mei's shoulder. Mei looked over to her hand and then back to the blonde.

"Yuzu...?"

Suddenly, Yuzu pulled Mei forward and placed her lips on Mei's. The younger girls eyes widened and she wanted to pull back, but she couldn't lie to herself right now. She'd waited for this since the moment she got married. Mei knew this was very wrong since her stepsister was intoxicated and probably didn't know what she was doing. Instead of pulling back though, she sank into the kiss as Yuzu deepened it and closed her eyes.

Finally getting ahold of herself, she pulled herself back, blushing and panting heavily. She wanted this, but had to be responsible.

"Y-yuzu, what are you thinking? You can't just show up at my doorstep drunk at 3am, and kiss me after five years!" Mei was aware she had let the kiss happen, yet wanted to remind Yuzu of the circumstances.

Yuzu didn't seemed surprised by Mei's reluctance to continue as she attempted to smile towards the younger girl before laying back down on the bed.

'What the hell is going on?' Mei became more and more confused as the moments passed by. This all seemed too strange for Mei, but she knew at this point it was all real. The kiss felt too real for it to be some messed up dream even though Yuzu was completely wasted.

No matter how tired she was, Mei chose to stay awake. She had many questions for the blonde and wanted to make sure she could have them answered rather than Yuzu feeling regret and running off in the morning.

It was nearing 7am as Mei heard slight ruffling of the sheets and Yuzu groaning.

"Ugh, my head hurts..." Yuzu mumbled.

Mei couldn't help but smile at her stepsister. She looked like a hot mess in all honesty, but still adorable with her messed up hair and tired voice.

"I bet it does," Mei finally spoke causing Yuzu to jump.

Yuzu's eyes widened, "Mei? How... uh, what am I doing here?"

Just as Mei predicted, the older girl had no recollections from earlier.

"You called me last night and somehow showed up at my front door. I'm surprised though, you were really out of it." Mei past two pills and a glass of water off to Yuzu.

Yuzu nervously took the pills and water, still feeling a bit shaky from all the drinking she'd partaken in.

"Thank you...," was all Yuzu could muster out. Mei figured her older sister had many more questions, so she kept a calm demeanor.

Yuzu sat the glass down on the nightstand and exhaled heavily. "I'm sorry, this must be really weird," Yuzu said as she looked over to Mei. Mei arched her eyebrows and folded her arms, waiting for the blonde to continue.

"Y'know me just showing up here and such after all the years..." Yuzu averted her eyes.

"Where have you been, Yuzu?" Mei questioned, this time hoping for real answers.

Yuzu began fidgeting a bit as she began to explain everything to Mei. "Well, when I showed up to your wedding five years ago part of me was hoping you'd change your mind. You two were about to seal the deal, and I couldn't bare to watch so I left."

Mei nodded her head and continued listening.

"I left and you stayed. You didn't chase after me, so I had my answer. I had talked to mama about it later that day and she didn't agree with my decision at first, but eventually gave in. I left town and finished school at a different academy with the help of Gramps."

Mei listened intently to each and every word Yuzu said. She couldn't believe that her grandfather had known all along for one, and also scolded herself for not chasing Yuzu that day.

"Please don't be mad at Gramps though, okay? As the wedding was your decision, me leaving was mine," Yuzu finally finished.

Mei remained silent, searching for words to say but ultimately feeling speechless. The younger girl lowered her head and began feeling tears trying to escape, but held them back.

"Yuzu..." Mei sighed, then looked back up. "I'm sorry."

Yuzu pulled the covers off of herself and walked over to Mei, leaning down in front of her.

"It's okay," Yuzu said in a low tone as she grabbed ahold of the raven-haired girls hand. "I shouldn't have been so childish and left that day."

Rather than asking further why Yuzu left then, Mei wanted to know why she was here now.

"I'm assuming mother gave you my address since she had given you my phone number?" Mei asked, already knowing the answer.

Yuzu nodded, "I'd known for a while actually. I was just worried you didn't want to see me, so...I guess that's why I decided until I was drunk to show up." Slightly shrugging her shoulders, Yuzu released Mei's hand and frowned. "Kind of inappropriate, I know. I hope you're not angry with me."

Mei looked over to her desk where she noticed she had left her journal out. Yuzu's eyes followed, but didn't ask anything of it.

"I'm not angry, Yuzu. It's just..." The younger girls voice faded out, not sure what she wanted to say to the blonde.

"I heard about your divorce," Yuzu cut in since Mei wasn't speaking. "I'm sorry it didn't work out..." she added in, sounding a bit sarcastic.

Mei chuckled, which surprised Yuzu.

"Most people don't find humor in divorces," Yuzu said as she scratched her head.

Mei smirked, "I know, it's just funny because that didn't sound sincere at all."

Yuzu waved her hands in front of Mei's face, "Hey! I wasn't trying to be rude or anything. I mean, I kind of meant it!"

Standing up from the chair she was sitting in, Mei started walking out of the bedroom, hinting that Yuzu should follow.

"Do you have anywhere to be?" Mei asked as they walked into the kitchen.

"I wouldn't have drank last night if I had somewhere to be," Yuzu responded.

Mei nodded, as she began making tea for the two. Yuzu sat down at the dining table and waited patiently. After a few moments, Mei handed the tea to her stepsister and sat down as well.

"I feel there is something you should know," Mei said.

Bringing up the spontaneous kiss seemed easier when Mei thought about it earlier, but being in front of the now sober girl, she began to feel her heart race.

Yuzu tilted her head to the side, "What is it?"

The raven-haired girl took a sip before speaking. "When I took you to bed..."

'Come on, just say it!' Mei thought and then exhaled.

Yuzu looked anxious to hear what Mei was going to tell her. "What happened?"

"You kissed me and...I may have kissed you back." Mei closed her eyes, waiting for Yuzu to get up right then and leave.

Mei hadn't heard Yuzu move or even speak, so she opened her eyes to see her stepsisters face was extremely red.

"Yuzu? Are you going to say anything?"

"I knew I was drunk, but I didn't think I'd be that careless," Yuzu finally said as she tried to hide her deep blush.

"It's fine. I shouldn't have kissed you back knowing your state of mind anyway. I just wanted to let you know." Mei tried assuring the older girl, also hoping it wouldn't cause further conflict. After all, she had no knowledge of Yuzu's current life.

Mei couldn't avoid it for much longer though, she wanted to know why Yuzu was here to begin with, besides being drunk. Obviously she had the intention of doing so eventually as she previously stated.

"Yuzu."

The blonde looked at her stepsister.

"Mei?"

"What was your reason, whether it had been even sober, for coming to see me?" The raven-haired girl finally asked.

"I wanted to see you, you know, after your divorce to make sure you were okay. I thought that would be too soon though. Eventually time passed and I got scared. I figured maybe you didn't want me to come see you. I shouldn't have waited three years though..." Yuzu's voice began to trail off.

"So much has changed," Mei said after taking another sip of her tea.

"That's why I wish I hadn't waited so long," Yuzu responded.

Mei looked at the blonde with a blank stare, not sure what to say next. She had so much she wanted to tell the blonde, how much she's missed her especially, but she didn't want to overwhelm her. Yuzu has grown in the past few years, despite what she saw last night. Mei was able to tell she's matured somewhat.

"What did you do after graduation?" Mei asked.

"I decided to go to culinary school actually. I wanted to improve my cooking skills." Yuzu smiled towards Mei, "I've heard you were able to continue working as the chairwoman at the academy. I'm happy gramps stopped being so stubborn."

Mei sighed, "It was difficult at first, but he realized I'd do just fine even not being wedded to someone."

"I knew you could do it too," Yuzu mumbled.

"What was that?" Mei had indeed heard her, but figured there was no harm in teasing the older girl.

"It's strange..." Yuzu said.

"What is it that's strange?" Mei gave Yuzu a puzzled look.

Exhaling quietly, Yuzu finished her cup of tea. "We've been apart for so long, but it doesn't feel all so different. I know things have changed, but being here with you feels normal. To me at least."

Mei chuckled, "I suppose since you kissed me soon after you arrived here, it kind of made things feel like they used to."

"Right...I'm still sorry about that Mei." Yuzu let out a nervous cough.

"It couldn't be worse than me kissing you on the first day we met. Consider us even?" Mei looked at Yuzu with a smirk.

The blonde in front of her began to noticeably blush. She couldn't hide it even if she tried.

"I know this is all so sudden, but I'd like to get to know you...again. How about we have dinner at mamas tonight? I'm sure she'd be happy seeing us together after so long, unless you think it's too soon. If so just tell me."

Mei rolled her eyes teasingly, "You've always been one to ramble. I've waited five years to see you again, Yuzu. I don't think I could bare to wait any longer."

Yuzu's emerald eyes widened, "I'm sorry I've kept you waiting."

A year and a half later~

"Mei? Hurry up, the movie is starting soon!" Yuzu shouted from the living room.

The raven-haired girl smiled once she heard her girlfriends voice.

"One moment, Yuzu!" Mei yelled back as she continued writing in her journal.

'Day 2375

I don't know why I find myself writing in a journal everyday still. I suppose I find comfort in it and even joy now. I waited 1831 days, that's when you finally appeared in my life again so suddenly. I told myself I couldn't bare to go much longer than that, but I believe I would've waited another five years just to see you again. Although, I'm glad I didn't have to.

Also, Yuzu, I know you like to snoop and read these sometimes out of curiosity and I don't mind, but at least have the decency to close it when you're done.

P.S, I love you.'

Yuzu knocked on the door abruptly and Mei closed her journal.

"C'mon slow poke, it's date night and I've got the popcorn ready," Yuzu spoke lovingly as she wrapped her arms around Mei's neck from behind and kissed her cheek.

Mei turned around from the chair soon after as Yuzu grabbed ahold of the raven-haired girls hands and pulled her forward carefully and slowly. As Mei placed her hand on Yuzu's cheek, the older girl couldn't help but smile as she leaned forward to kiss her girlfriend.

"I love you, Mei."

"I love you too, Yuzu. I always have."