If you're reading this on Archive of Our Own, then the fact that Lotta Hart just appeared should not be much of a surprise to you. If you're not, well then surprise! There's going to be more surprise characters along the way!

How will Phoenix react to seeing old friends? What's actually going to happen in this chapter? I have no idea! Enjoy!

Chapter Three – You Spin Me Right Round, Baby

"Well, I'll be hog tied! If it ain't Phoenix Wright and Maya Fey!" Lotta Hart said as she threw her arms around the two. "How many years has it been? Eight? Yer looking great!"

"Oh, uh, you too, Lotta," Phoenix replied, a little embarrassed. Lotta didn't look any different from when he knew her from about eight years ago. He swore she was even wearing the same outfit that he first met her.

"Hey Lotta!" Maya greeted happily. "Great to see you again. I've seen some of your photos in People magazine! They're really great!"

"Thanks, hun," Lotta replied. She took a step back and finally noticed the rest of their group and the grin on her face somehow got even wider. "Well, lookie here! Y'all finally got hitched, did ya? These yer kids?"

Phoenix blinked at her in surprise before turning to look at Apollo and the others. Then he turned back towards Lotta. Then he realized what she just said.

"Wait, what?" he practically yelled. Maya just burst out laughing and Athena and Apollo exchanged confused glances. "It's only been about eight years!"

"Me and Apollo work for Mr. Wright," Athena put in helpfully. Lotta gave her a look before turning back to Phoenix.

"Yer making yer kids work for you?" she asked, disappointment clear in her voice.

"They're not my kids," Phoenix hissed through his teeth.

"Daddy!" Trucy said angrily. Phoenix flinched.

"Well, ok, she is," he replied quickly. "But not biologically. And Maya and I aren't married." Lotta let out a laugh.

"Looks like y'all got some explaining to do," she told him. Phoenix let out a sigh, completely put out. How was that Lotta could do that with little effort?

"Ok, this is Trucy, my adopted daughter," he explained. "That's Apollo Justice and Athena Cykes, my two young associates and Juniper Woods; Athena's friend. They're all teenagers."

"No, I'm twenty-five," Apollo growled. Phoenix turned to look at him in surprise.

"Since when?" he wondered.

"Well, I'll tell you," Lotta said before Apollo could reply. "If ya got yerself some employees, then yer starting to look like a professional law firm now, don't ya?"

"So, whatcha been up to, Lotta?" Maya asked before things got too awkward. "I definitely didn't think we'd see you here of all places."

"Same here," Lotta replied. "I'm here to get the scoop on all the celebrities on this here ship. I'll bet there's some nasty scandals going on around here, and I'm going to get all of it on my trusty camera!"

"So, you're still a celebrity photographer, huh?" Phoenix said, his hand on the back of his neck with a sheepish grin.

"Sure as sugar," Lotta said. She suddenly looked past him and her face lit up with joy. "In fact, I think I see one of them especially famous ones right now! That over there is Ruby Valadez! One of the richest and most beautiful people in the world!" She looked back at Maya and Phoenix. "We'll have to catch up later! I've got work to do! See ya later, Maya and Nick!"

Then she slunk off and disappeared into the crowd. Phoenix and his friends stared after her before he finally let out a long sigh.

"You know, I do like Lotta," he said. "But every time I talk to her, I feel like I need to take a nap afterwards. Even now, years later."

"I wish I had the amount of energy she does," Maya said, a big grin on her face.

"I wish you had less the amount of energy she does," Phoenix grumbled.

"What was with her thinking we were your kids anyway?" Athena wondered. "How young did she think we were?"

"Well, I was kind of flattered," Juniper said with a gentle laugh.

"She seemed like a fun person," Apollo deadpanned before turning suddenly to Phoenix. "Now, about that 'all of them are teenagers' comment you made…"

"Well, would you look at the time," his boss said quickly, looking at the imaginary watch on his wrist. "We should be getting back to our rooms if we want to have enough time to get ready for that dinner thing! Come along, then!"

Then he turned and quickly stalked off, leaving the rest of the group to hurry after him and Apollo to glared at his back, grumbling to himself.

Instead of actually getting ready, Phoenix immediately flopped down on his bed and told Trucy to wake him when it was time to go to dinner, promptly falling asleep. By the time he was woken up, Edgeworth was already gone.

"He said he wanted to get there early," Trucy said when Phoenix asked. "You know how punctual he likes to be."

Athena, Juniper and Maya joined them on their way to the event, having also taken too long to get ready, and the five of them promptly got lost. It took them nearly forty-five minutes of wandering around the ship before they finally found the section of the ship that had all of the event and banquet halls.

By the time they actually arrived in the right hall, the head of the bar association had just finished making his speech and was hopping off the stage to polite claps. Phoenix could see Apollo and Edgeworth sitting at a table with Blackquill, Klavier, Kristoph and Franziska with enough space for the rest of them. Apollo was sitting in between Kristoph and Klavier and was looking super uncomfortable at the seating arrangements. Phoenix let out a relieved sigh and quickly led his friends over to the table and sat down.

"Hey guys," Phoenix greeted happily, ignoring the glares he was receiving. "Did we miss anything important?"

"Only the entire opening ceremony," Franziska growled. "You're half an hour late!"

"Where have you been?" Apollo wondered. "We've all been worried about you guys."

"I haven't," Kristoph pointed out.

"We got lost," Maya said. "We were wandering around for almost forty-five minutes!" Edgeworth turned and gave her a confused look.

"How can that be possible?" he wondered. "I specifically gave Wright a map so you wouldn't get lost."

Maya and Athena stared back at him for a long moment before turning to glare at Phoenix, who gave them a sheepish grin.

"You had a map the entire time, Nick?" Maya growled.

"I didn't think we would need it," Phoenix replied. "Miles said I have no sense of direction when he gave it to me, so I didn't want to use it."

"You don't have any sense of direction," Edgeworth said, shaking his head. "That's why I gave it to you. That and this ship is massive and easy to get lost in." Phoenix gave him another grin and he let out a sigh. "You're hopeless," he muttered under his breath.

"So, how is everyone settling in so far?" Athena asked after a moment, trying to make conversation.

"This one," Franziska hissed suddenly, pointing at Blackquill, "is absolutely ridiculous!"

"What is so ridiculous about having a separate bed for my guest?" Blackquill replied, narrowing his eyes at her.

"When your guest is a bird, it's absolutely insane!" the female prosecutor spat at him.

"What are you two going on about now?" Edgeworth asked with a sigh.

"I figured since it would just be the two of us in our room, I could use the third bed to put all my stuff on, at least until I finished unpacking," Franziska growled. "But he wouldn't even let me even sit on the extra bed, let alone put my stuff on it!"

"Taka needs his space," Blackquill replied dismissively. "I'm sure you wouldn't like it if someone started putting all of their things on your bed."

"This Taka is a bird," Franziska pointed out, throwing her hands in the air.

"You two get an extra bed?" Phoenix wondered. "For the two of you?"

"No, Taka's there too," Blackquill said, completely serious. "And he called dibs on the other bed. What, did you think that he was going to sleep on a perch or something?"

"Yes!" Franziska snapped. Blackquill rolled his eyes at her and didn't reply.

The entrées had already come out and nobody said anything for a while as they all concentrated on eating. The food was amazing, of course. Just what one would expect from a luxurious, five star cruise liner. It was certainly something Phoenix could get used to, he decided. And judging by the looks of his friends, he could tell they were thinking the same.

They were half-way into their meal, making small talk and trying not to say anything that would restart Blackquill and von Karma's argument when two men suddenly approached the table. One was a scrawny, yet stern looking young man with dark hair and hazel eyes while the other was obviously the captain of the ship. He had a white beard and had a slight girth to him; he almost looked like Santa Claus disguised as a sailor.

"Greetings, defense attorneys and prosecutors," the Captain greeted them. "I hope you're all enjoying your stay so far." Everybody muttered or grumbled in the affirmative. "I'm the captain of this ship. I'm honored to be standing in the presence of such famous attorneys such as yourselves."

"You've heard of us?" Athena asked, perking up excitedly.

"Oh yes," the Captain replied, nodding. "My cousin has told me all about the exciting legal battles that go on in his courtroom. I've read about them in the papers, of course, but my cousin said he presided over nearly all of Mr. Wright and company's cases."

"Cousin?" Phoenix repeated. "You're related to the judge?"

"Why yes," the Captain said proudly. "How do you think the Bar Association managed to secure tickets for this cruise in the first place? It's quite easy when you're related to the captain! Ho! Ho! Ho!"

"I didn't know our judge had such a wide range outside the courthouse," Maya said in a low voice to Phoenix. "I just thought they put him in a storage room or something when the court was over for the day."

"What are you talking about, Maya?" Phoenix hissed quietly. "Don't you remember when we ran into him while taking that train? He and Gumshoe were on the same train as us."

"Oh yeah!" Maya giggled after a moment of thought.

"You'll have to give your cousin our thanks for pulling this off for everyone," Apollo told the Captain. "It really is a nice ship." The captain chortled in response.

"You can thank him yourself," he said. "He's on this ship himself!"

The entire table turned to look over to where the Captain was gesturing, only to see the seemingly one and only judge in the entire city looking up from his own table and waving happily at them. He was sitting with Gumshoe, Marvin Grossberg, his Canadian brother and the Payne brothers.

"How come we didn't notice him before?" Athena wondered mostly under her breath.

The scrawny man standing beside the captain was standing rigged and unmoving, but suddenly jumped when the captain slapped him hard on the back, nearly throwing him to the floor with his hearty pat.

"This here is my first mate," the captain introduced. "Skipper Bridge. If any of you have any problems, you can come immediately to him and he'll fix it for you."

Skipper Bridge looked more like he would rather do anything else than try to fix any sort of complaint he got, but he nodded anyway. He opened his mouth to speak, but he was interrupted by a loud, screeching noise that came from the walkie-talkie on his hip. He let out an annoyed sigh and pulled it off of his belt.

"What is it now, Oldbag?" he sighed. Whoever was on the other end must have been screaming because it only came out as indistinguishable noise. Bridge must have understood it though, because he let out another sigh. "No, they're allowed to go there, they're guests," he growled into the walkie-talkie. More noise responded. "That's the cleaning crew. They're allowed to be there too. Look, it's only day one. If you're going to cause this much trouble, I can always move you to a lower level…Ok, good."

He turned off the radio and turned back to the table with a hiss.

"Sorry about that folks," he apologized. "Head of security. Thinks that everyone who even walks funny is up to something. I don't know why I even bother sometimes."

"This head of security sounds vaguely familiar, but I can't quite put my finger on it," Phoenix mused to himself. Next to him, Edgeworth felt a cold chill run down his spine.

The captain and first mate moved on from their table to go greet the guests at the next table. Not long after that, waiters started bringing desserts to each table. Plates of crème brulée were placed in front of each of them and most of them took a moment to admire the dessert.

"Ah, burnt cream," Blackquill said in a deadpan tone. "Delicious."

"Really, Simon?" Athena sighed, giving him an annoyed look. The prosecutor simply gave an uncaring shrug in reply.

Phoenix stared down at the dessert for a long moment, savoring its smell and appearance. He had never had anything this fancy before and he wanted to relish the moment for as long as possible. Though, once he thought about it, he didn't even know which utensil he was supposed to eat this thing with.

Glancing around, he watched Franziska violently stabbing her dessert with her utensil, but she was slamming it up and down so fast that Phoenix couldn't tell if she was using a fork or a spoon. Athena and Apollo looked just as lost as he did and Maya had lifted the bowl up to her face and was simply sticking out her tongue and licking it. Desperate, Phoenix glanced at Edgeworth, only to find his friend staring back at him; his hands folded neatly in his lap and a sort of amused expression on his face, almost like he was waiting for Phoenix to make the first move.

Narrowing his eyes at him, Phoenix slowly reached for his own utensils. Edgeworth's expression didn't change, but he let out a noise that sounded like a cough or a short laugh when Phoenix's hand hovered over the fork. Phoenix paused before reaching for a spoon and the small grin on Edgeworth's mouth widened a centimeter.

"You're impossible," Phoenix grumbled before seizing up the knife.

"You need a dessert spoon," Edgeworth informed him in a pleasant voice.

Phoenix glared at him, muttering "Damn it, Miles," under his breath. He reached over for what he was pretty sure was the dessert spoon, when his hand slipped and he knocked it onto the floor. With a sigh, Phoenix quickly bent over to pick it up.

When he finally sat back up, he found a fork deeply embedded in the back of his chair that he was pretty sure was not there when he had first bent over. Glancing across the table in confusion, he saw Kristoph glowering at him, his hand in the process of being retracted from a throwing position and one of his forks missing. Apollo was leaning away from his former mentor, staring at him in wide-eyed fear and Phoenix was positive there were angry blue flames radiating from the ex-attorney.

"Damn," Kristoph sneered. "I missed."

I'm going to end this chapter here because I wanted to get another chapter out soon and I have nothing more. Hopefully it was funny enough that it helped get you through some of the exposition. I just hope that nothing sounds too clunky and you could make out what was going on, especially at the end. Next chapter, we'll have some more exciting things happen and we can start to see scenes with other characters. That will be fun.