Holocron

As she walked through the Temple, the place that had been her home for so many years, the place that she'd felt the most happiness, Ahsoka felt only anger. Not her own, of course. She could feel cold waves of rage coming from her master through the Force. And she knew that it was her fault.

Anakin and Ahsoka had made many mistakes together, always like siblings, constantly competing. But this time Ahsoka had taken it too far. And she knew that. She knew that she would probably deserve whatever punishment that Jedi Council would come up with for her. But she couldn't stand her master being angry at her.

A door opened, and Ahsoka found herself standing in front of the Jedi Council. She stared down at her feet, but that didn't stop her from feeling the cold glares coming from the Jedi Masters. And then they spoke, with cold voices.

They spoke of everything she'd done wrong, and how she'd taken things too far, but there was no point to saying these thing. Ahsoka already knew them. And then, there was Obi-Wan, telling her of what her punishment would be, and looking at her with his cold eyes that held back barely contained rage. Ahsoka couldn't help herself. She gasped.

Of all the things she had considered, such as expulsion from the Order, this was something she had never, never considered. Because it hadn't been used in years. Ahsoka is as being sent to the icy planet of Ilum, to become a Jedi hermit. Someone who lived with knowledge of the Force, but was forced to live in secrecy, alone for all eternity. For a social creature like Ahsoka, this was the worst punishment possible. And it was her punishment, from now until her death.

She could tell that the other Jedi hadn't expected this. She could feel the waves of uneasiness coming from all around her, especially from Anakin. Her master, who was no longer going to be her master. Obi-Wan informed her that she had two days to prepare for her departure. Then Ahsoka turned on her heel. And she walked out of the chamber.

Ahsoka knew what she'd done was bad. But did she deserve this punishment? No. Ahsoka did not think she did.

She returned to her quarters, where she didn't have very much to pack. Her entire life had been here, ever since Plo Koon had found her on Shili and brought her to be a Jedi. Ahsoka felt numb. She sat on her bed and curled up into a ball, not crying, not feeling, not doing anything.

No one bothered her for two days. The morning of her departure, Ahsoka woke early enough to catch the sun rising over Coruscant. She looked at herself in the mirror. But, unlike any time before, she didn't see a failed Jedi Padawan. She saw an independent person. She reached back behind her head and felt her Padawan braid. She tore it from the back of her head, relishing in the pain, because it let her know that she could still feel something.

When the knock came at her door, Ahsoka picked up her single bag and slid it on her back, put her lightsabers on her belt, and opened the door, where she found Anakin and Rex waiting to escort her away.

"Are you ready, Ahsoka?" asked Anakin. No 'snips' anymore. She would never be Snips again. Now she was just Ahsoka. She saw Anakin glance to where her Padawan braid had once been on her head, and where in now was, on her empty desktop, and he stiffened with disapproval.

Ahsoka looked back at her quarters, now empty of her possessions, where she had spent her entire life, through food and bad, and said goodbye to it all. She nodded in answer.

Anakin and Rex led her to the Republic ship that was waiting for her. The entire 501 squadron lined up for her departure. But they did something that she did not expect. The saluted their Commander one last time. Ahsoka gave them all one last, grateful smile. As they boarded, Rex squeezed her hand once, letting her know that he, at least, had forgiven her. As for her master, she could not say.

No, not her master. Now he was just Anakin.

The ship took off and Ahsoka stood at the window, first watching her squad, practically her siblings, shrink away, and then the Jedi Temple, her only home, vanish into the distance. They left the planet, and Ahsoka stared at the bright lights that dotted the surface, knowing she'd never see them again. Then they jumped into hyperspace.

Ahsoka retired to her quarters, hoping to get some rest before she was forced to live on Ilum forever, but she couldn't sleep. She couldn't help but wonder what would become of her. But she stayed there until she felt the ship exit hyperspace and she knew that it was her time to go. She sorely missed the weight of her Padawan braid on her head. She picked up her bag and walked out of her quarters to the sight of the icy blue and white planet in front of them. She'd seen so many planets with Anakin, it was hard to believe that this was going to be her last one.

She pulled on a long coat that she'd brought to keep the cold at bay and she prepared for her departure as the ship landed next to a small hut that had a chimney sticking out and was mostly obscured by the falling snow.

Rex and Anakin disembarked with Ahsoka, much to her surprise, and helped her unpack her things into her new home. The size of it depressed her. This is where she'd spend the rest of her life, with this bed and this table and this window and this fireplace with the wind always howling outside.

As Anakin and Rex were about to leave, Ahsoka locked eyes with Anakin. She could see a flicker of sadness and she knew that, whatever mistakes she'd made, he would never hate her. She gave him one last smile before the two departed, and Ahsoka was left to her isolation.

Ahsoka didn't leave that one building for four months, except for when she had to go out and scavenge for food. She stayed inside, away from the cold, and her life constricted to fit in the one room. To fill her days, Ahsoka trained. She trained harder than she ever had before. But the same thing over and over for months nearly drive her insane. She could feel the powerful call of something in the Force. Something or someone that was extremely powerful in the Force was in Ilum. And it was calling to her.

She tried to resist the call at first, but she realized that there would be no punishment if she disobeyed the Jedi Council's orders, because there was no one else here. The Jedi has practically abandoned her. She didn't feel like a Jedi anymore. So Ahsoka found herself bundled against the cold, her lightsabers tucked underneath her layers, following the call of the Force. It led her to an icy cliff face.

"So much for that idea," said Ahsoka to herself. But the call persisted. So she lifted her hands and summoned the Force, and when she looked up, part of the ice was gone, revealing a dark passageway. She wondered what was inside.

She stepped inside and pulled out her lightsabers, igniting then so that she could see in their green light. The passage looked very old, and Ahsoka noted the similarity between it and the Jedi Temple. Perhaps this was once a temple, too. The Force was very strong here, Ahsoka noted to herself. The call was harder to distinguish, but Ahsoka could still make it out.

She followed it through the passage until she came to a small room that was even stronger with the Force that the rest. In the center, on a pedestal, rested a large cube that had streaks of red and blue going throughout it, like its own mini galaxy. A Holocron. Ahsoka picked it up, noting how it was engraved with tiny images that she couldn't make out in the dim light. She slid it into the pocket of her coat and retraced her steps, back out to the light.

But Ahsoka sensed something else. Two other pulses in the Force, calling her name. Ahsoka shrugged to herself. What would be the harm if she went after them? No one was missing her.

She followed the two pulses, feeling them getting stronger and stronger until she found two Kyber crystals embedded in an icy wall.

"Kyber crystals?" she said aloud. "I don't need those. I've already got two perfectly good lightsabers." But she broke the ice using the Force and she took the crystals anyway. Maybe they'd be useful. Then she returned to her hut.

She placed the Holocron on her table before examining the Kyber crystals, which hummed with energy from the Force. She'd never seen anything quite like them. They'd make powerful lightsabers. And now that she thought about it…

She had found some spare lightsaber parts around the hut. She assumed that they were put there in case any of the youngling ships were running low. But they'd suit her purpose. She closed her eyes and called upon the Force, and the parts to her lightsabers responded, fitting together surprisingly quickly. Ahsoka picked up her new lightsabers and ignited them. They glowed a blinding white, and seemed far stronger than any she'd seen before.

Four months was far too long stuck on this planet, Ahsoka decided. It was her time to leave. But she'd need a code name, in case word got back to the Jedi Order. Fulcrum, she thought.

Fulcrum would do.

Ahsoka was missing one thing, though. A ship. How was she supposed to go anywhere without a ship?

There were always the youngling ships that came by. But Ahsoka couldn't steal from younglings. That left her one option. There was a small Republic station not far from her hut. She would have to get a ship from there. She'd be sneaky, of course. No one would ever know that she was there.

She pulled on the thickest coat she had, which was more of a robe, with her traditional Jedi outfit underneath, and prepared to set off to the station. She debated on whether or no to bring her old lightsabers, but she ended up leaving them on the bed in her hut. She hung her new lightsabers on her belt under her robe, she tucked the Holocron into her pocket, and she pocketed the bag of credits that the Republic had given her, which was supposed to go towards food and supplies, though it obvious wouldn't anymore. She didn't take anything else; it would just be extra baggage. She walked out without a glance back at her former home.

The Republic station was quiet at night. Which was fortunate for Ahsoka, because it meant that there either weren't a lot of people, or that they were sleeping. The station was surrounded by a short wall, which Ahsoka was able to climb over, and, finding that there were few clones stationed around, she crept towards the nearest ship. She used the Force to open the ship and simply walked inside. The whole thing was much easier than she'd expected. She flipped switches and got the ship fired up and prepared for takeoff. But in the house that the ship made, several clones noticed and were waving their hands to get her attention. Ahsoka ignored them and took off, leaving the station and her planet of isolation and loneliness behind her. But she knew that the cloned would put two and two together and figure out that it was Ahsoka. And then they'd warn the Council.

Oh, well. That's why she was Fulcrum now. She'd have to ditch the ship, of course. It wasn't safe to use the ship that she'd just openly stolen from a Republic station. But where would she find a new one. The answer came to her almost immediately. The planet that everyone who doesn't want to be known would go to. Nal Hutta. Ahsoka set the coordinates and went to meditate for the long journey

Through the Force, she reached out to Coruscant, feeling the presences of her friends. First, she found Anakin, who was, as usual, angry. But she could tell that he was more controlled lately. She wondered if he'd found a new Padawan yet. Then she felt for the 501st, she felt the familiar presence of Rex, Fives, Echo, and all the others, and, finally, Barriss, one of her only friends left. She'd contacted Barriss four times since she'd left, by hologram, and she found that having a friend by her side made everything feel immensely more manageable. She'd only been in contact with Anakin once.

The planet loomed before her, looking very different from the ice and snow of Ilum, which Ahsoka was happy about. She landed near a small trading village and stepped off of the ship, into the humid atmosphere and greasy rain. She kept her head down, trying not to be noticed, as she approached a shipyard, which was run by a young twi'lek.

"I'd like to take a look at your ships, please," said Ahsoka, her voice coming out a little rough after no being used for a while.

"Right this way," he said, leading her towards the ship. "Ain't you a lit tile young to be buying ships on your own, miss?"

"Aren't you a little young to be selling those ships on your own?"

"Fair enough," he said. "Find me if you see one you like."

Ahsoka wandered around for a while, looking at the ships until she found something she liked. It was a little big for her uses, but after being cooped up for months, she couldn't help but buy a nice one.

She fetched the twi'lek and paid for the ship. Before she left, however, she remembered that the Jedi would soon know that she left.

"Do you know somewhere that I could find a new outfit?" Ahsoka asked the twi'lek.

He pointed to a shop. "Just down there, miss."

Ahsoka entered the shop, which was full of who she assumed were probably bounty hunters, and she looked for a disguise. Most of the stuff in the shop was garbage; terribly made, riddled with holes, or, in some cases, covered worth bloodstains. But then Ahsoka's eye caught something. White armor with a white cloak over it. Ahsoka purchased it and was pleased to also find a staff that she could conceal her lightsabers in. With everything in, Ahsoka didn't exactly blend in, but she certainly didn't look like a Jedi. She looked independent. And she liked it. Ahsoka took her old Jedi outfit and tossed it into one of the overflowing garbage chutes on the street sides, abandoning any sign of her old life with the Jedi.

She wasn't exactly sure where to go. She had the entire galaxy at her fingertips; it was the adventure of a lifetime. Of course, she didn't want to go alone. She'd just thought of the perfect person to share it with.

Ahsoka set course for Onderon.