…It was Really a Baby?!

"Normal Speech"

'Thoughts'

"Yelling"

"Om nom nom om om nom," The baby babbled as he happily chewed the eggshell to bits. All Might had tried to help him by tearing the egg into smaller pieces, but the shell was surprisingly resistant. He even considered tapping into One for All, but decided it too dangerous with the infant in his lap. It was almost embarrassing how easily the baby pulled off chunks to stuff into his mouth. The baby had offered him a piece, covered in drool and amniotic fluid from inside the egg, forcing him to decline.

It hadn't been easy, considering how the baby had cutely tried to feed it to him, waving it in the air going "ah, ah!"

But the baby had relented with a pout and resumed eating the shell himself.

With the baby's full attention on his meal, Toshinori could focus once more on the baby's attributes. The little guy, and he was sure the baby was a boy, looked perfectly normal at first glance, but he possessed many unique features. The baby's ears were slightly larger than normal, tapering into points in a sort of teardrop like shape. As the baby nommed the egg, All Might could see tiny teeth better than before. There were only about twelve total, that were unusually sharp.

But what truly caught his attention were the growing wings on the boy's back. They had started off as scrunched up messes the size of dime, but as the infant fed, they twitched and straightened gradually until they were 4cm in length each. Each was a black border surrounding brilliant emerald green that All Might could swear he'd never seen in nature before.

He tried to touch one, but they fluttered out of his reach each time until the baby got upset with him and whined irritably at him to stop.

He had started snickering, until the baby, growling, bit his finger. That had startled a full laugh out of him.

All Might was broken from his recollection by the baby whining, and he was surprised to find the egg gone and the baby looking rather uncomfortable. Fortunately, this was one thing he could prep for and he placed the baby over his shoulder and pat its back until a miniscule burp escaped it.

"Hehehe," Izuku giggled as All Might held the infant up to his face.

"Now, I think you need a bath, and a diaper after that. How's that sound little guy?"

"beh," The baby grabbed his hair and pulled down, not enough to hurt, but his locks were in his eyes.

"I'll take that as a yes."

"Well, I owe the boy a burger," Gran spoke to himself as he ate a bowl of cereal. He had logged in to check his email before realizing that he had left Toshinori's livestream open. He nearly fell out of his chair when he tabbed over and the entire screen lit up like a flashbang.

He really hadn't woken up that morning expecting to watch an infant fairy emerge from an egg. Or watch his student feed the rest to the baby.

But then again, he had mentored the latest wielder of One for All, so his life was never meant to be normal anymore.

"Still, this is gonna be a media clusterfuck. Toshinori keeping the kid is a whole 'nother can of worms. Welp, if it's like the thing with Melissa, I'll get to kick a reporter in the balls. So, bonus there."

And with that to motivate him, Gran Torino polished off his food and put his costume on.

"Huh… I can see into the future, and I never saw this coming." Mirai noted as he took another sip of his coffee. Sir Nighteye had needed to send Toshinori a crime report concerning a recent villain attack, some fool with an earth-manipulation quirk had remodeled downtown Musutafu.

He had checked Toshinori's egg-stream livestream (he would never forgive his friend for calling it that) to see if he was up yet, and had been treated to his grown-ass partner making the single most high-pitched noise Nighteye had ever heard. And according to the comments, it was already a meme.

Neat.

Sir Nighteye switched his laptop off and grabbed his coat off the rack.

Toshinori had made it clear he would keep the contents of the egg and there would undoubtably be a massive media circus around this. Toshinori would need help with damage control, and there were probably already reporters at his agency.

Here's hoping Gran Torino kicked a reporter in the balls again.

A man sat in a massive armchair, staring at the screen in front of him. His face portrayed no emotion as he watched the Number One Hero, the pinnacle of humanity, cradle something he picked up from his doorstep.

He had been happy to ignore it when it appeared All Might had simply taken up a hobby, after all it seemed to put him in a more paternal mood. It might have been possible to finally convince him to breed and ensure another perfect specimen in the future when All Might inevitably lost his touch like those before him.

But apparently, some strumpet had successfully convinced the Symbol of Peace to waste his time rearing her offspring.

So many heroines had attempted to seduce the moron but hadn't even been noticed, and some cuckoo just leaves her own offspring on his door and he takes it in like a child taking to a puppy.

For God's sake the child wasn't even his!

…

The man reached down and pressed the intercom on his desk. "Yamada-san?"

"Yes, Choze-sama?"

"Please have the boy's down in the archives look through the quirk registry for women with butterfly wings or other insectoid body parts. Have them make a note of any woman with anything resembling those features born in the last, let's say forty years," He paused briefly. "And apologize on my behalf for such a broad category."

"Right away, sir."

"Thank you, Yamada-san." With that, he ended the call to his secretary.

All Might had been very quick to bond with the egg… maybe he had finally wised up. If so, then the next generation would have an Übermensch to protect it. He ruminated on that thought for a moment. Maybe…

"Yamada-san, tell the boys to create a separate list of women with interesting or powerful quirks. They're smart, I'll leave the specifics to their personal opinions."

"Right away, sir."

Maybe with some luck and some encouragement, there might be a few more.

Aw, the baby's sooo cute!

That thing was really a kid? I thought it was some bug. Guess All Might could always tell.

I bet All Might'll be a great dad. He's the best at everything.

If it really is some alien invader, I bet All Might will raise him as a hero, like Hellboy.

Yeah, if anyone could its All Might.

Endeavor fumed as he read more and more drivel from the masses. All Might decides to debase himself by taking in a piece of street trash some random whore left on his doorstep and the witless masses layer praise on him.

This is what infuriated him so much: that the symbol of piece could make a complete ass of himself on the internet and the mindless citizens cheer like the man had deflected another Tsunami.

At least some had the decency to chastise the idiot for his decision to let some random woman dump her unwanted offspring onto him. They even had the sense to reprimand his idiocy for not passing on his quirk.

Theirs was a dangerous profession, and if he died with no heir…

Endeavor snapped the laptop with a huff.

"Okay, with the goo out of it you have the cutest little head of hair ever," Toshinori cooed as he ran his hair over the baby's fluffy scalp.

Izuku giggled in response and snuggled deeper into the towel Toshinori had swaddled him in. The hero needed more practice considering the tiny bit that stuck up in front of the baby's face, but Izuku had taken to chewing on it, so Toshinori decided to leave it for now.

Holding the bundle to his bare chest, Toshinori made his way into the living room to retrieve some of the diapers he had bought when the egg became mostly opaque. He placed Izuku down on the table and unswaddled him. He laughed as Izuku's arms shot up and his face scrunched up in a smile. He followed the instructions he had practiced for this day, managing a much better job with the diaper than the swaddling.

"C'mon Izuku-kun, I have to eat breakfast myself," All Might walked into the kitchen and placed Izuku into a seat All Might had bought a few days before. The child was comically small in his seat, even though it was designed for babies whose quirks allowed them to live at a size considered terrifying in a pre-quirk age.

Still, it could hold him upright properly, and Izuku was content to pat his hands on the nose-level shelf in an infant's parody of drumming.

All Might vowed to take a picture before he freed the baby, but first he had to eat something, and settled for a bowl of cereal and two eggs. He had just gotten the box out of the cabinet when a loud fluttering sound caught his attention. It sounded like someone shaking the dust out of a rug.

And it sounded like it was getting closer.

He whipped around when Izuku let out a loud squeal and came face to face with his son on top of the table, sitting in a nest made out of a familiar blanket. Izuku giggled and clapped, seeing that his father was paying attention to him again.

All Might stared as Izuku lifted one of his feet up to mouth and started chewing on it. He looked in every direction before lifting the baby by his bottom, searching even as Izuku giggled.

"…I should ask what just happened, but this is far from the weirdest thing that's happened since you showed up." He noted to the dribbling baby. Izuku grabbed his nose in response.

Gran Torino's cane clacked with each step he took down the street. Normally, he would have to rely on his relative anonymity to move through the sea of early risers and left over night owls(1), but today he could have ran down the street wearing pants made of lit fireworks and no-one would have looked up from their phones.

Those who could pry their attention away from their screens were all talking about one thing.

"Wow, it was really a human baby in there."

"Great, now he'll insist on taking care of it."

"Did the baby have sharp teeth? I mean he chewed through his shell, but was it just me or were his teeth really sharp?"

Yep, that was the general reception he was expecting. Honestly, this was going to be such a pain in his wrinkly ass and this didn't even concern him!

Aw, who was he kidding, Toshi's business was Gran Torino's business. It was a law older than Toshi's career.

He spotted Nighteye walking further down the street and wordlessly caught up.

"We're going to have to fight our way in, aren't we?"

Gran Torino adjusted his grip on his cane, ready to smack upside heads. "You know the answer to that."

Nighteye cracked his knuckles, "Yep."

"Oh, yeah. The camera's still on."

All Might paused as he sat in front of the camera, Izuku tossing and turning in his blanket, letting out a variety of excited noises of effort. Just what he was trying to do, Toshi would never figure it out on his own.

"Kyaaaaah!" The baby cried as he flailed all four limbs under the blanket, only his face revealed as he sported a determined smile. The blanket had enough engulfed his hair.

"… I've only had him for forty minutes at most, and I love him more than anything in the world."

All Might lowered a hand to poke Izuku's stomach, who grabbed the offending digit with clothed hands, his feet kicking at their same frantic pace.

"How can the kid already move like that? Most babies can't do all this stuff until around two years old," A man with honey-brown hair and a lab coat muttered as he ran his fingers through his daughter's hair. He let out a laugh and Melissa erupted when All Might tried to move his hand and the baby dragged along for the ride, his blanket negating the friction.

Gently as he could All Might grabbed the child and held him aloft.

"Hey, wasn't that a blanket, not a onesie?"

"It might be a bit late for this, but: Look who came out of his shell!"

"…Really?"

The baby seemed to agree, as he shot All Might a dirty look and promptly sank his tiny teeth into All Might's finger. Much harder than he had earlier.

"OW!"

David let out a snort as his best friend tried not to drop the infant.

AN: Merry Christmas everyone!

(1) Night Owls: Those with quirks that better suit them for the night life.

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