No explanation needed. Please, read and enjoy this humble thing. Thank you for all your favorites, follows and reviews! Thank you, Grammarly for looking this over. Author's note continued at the bottom.
WARNINGS: Uh, I don't think there's any aside from underage drinking and some language.
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters and I am not making money from this. All I ask is for your thoughts on it.
.
.
.
During slow nights, nights where criminals decide to cut Spider-Man some slack, Peter's able to think about things; school, MJ, life, Star Wars, just things in general. He thinks about how grateful he is for having the chance to be a hero just like the man he most looks up to and how far they've come as friends...colleagues? Acquaintances? Well, they've come far. It's funny how life works sometimes.
When Peter was seven years old, he tried to take on a Hammer drone during the Stark Expo because he wanted to help his hero, Iron Man. He had managed to get away from his aunt and uncle in the chaos and somehow ended up face to face with one of the machines. He remembers thinking, what would Iron Man do? Then, he raised his arm wanting to destroy the drone with his repulsor.
Thankfully, the real Iron Man had shown up with a real repulsor and managed to take the drone out. Although, he awkwardly recalls, for the longest time Peter believed it had been he who had destroyed the drone. When Iron Man had said, "Nice work, kid," Peter had been elated. Iron Man had not only seen him but praised his efforts. Of course, Peter finally realized the truth but that never stopped him from wanting to be just as great as the one and only Iron Man.
Years later, he's not only an intern for said hero, (because let's face it, he really does help Tony Stark a lot) but he's also a hero himself. Spider-Man. Peter wouldn't have thought this would ever be possible but here he was. He took a bad situation - being bitten by a radioactive spider was pretty bad, and turned it into an extraordinary thing. He was able to help a lot more people as Spider-Man than he would have as just Peter Parker. He was making a difference just like Iron Man.
Peter feels a surge of pride as he continues swinging from building to building, keeping an eye out for trouble as he does. The street lights illuminate familiar businesses he's visited many times before. He fights down the urge to release a loud whoop as he swings down between two large buildings. The thrill of flying through the air is something indescribable, something that will never get old. When he first developed his powers, he never imagined he'd enjoy anything that came from them, but now, he loves the feeling of freedom and power that comes with them.
After a couple of minutes, he lands on the top of a building with a satisfied sigh. It had been a good night; he'd stopped a mugging, helped a woman with her groceries, and had even changed somebody's tire. He thanked Uncle Ben for showing him how to do so before he died. Yes, it had been a good night but it was nearing ten and he needed to go home soon, needed to go back to being boring Peter Parker.
He makes sure it's safe and pulls off his mask, reveling in the knowledge that at least Spider-Man is cool. He sighs once more as he stands watching the quieting city below. The cold breeze feels good against his warm face as he thinks how lucky he is considering everything he's been through.
He was good as Spider-Man. He did good. If only he could be just as good as Peter Parker. Spider-Man was this confident man who knows what to do, he knows what his purpose is. Peter, on the other hand, is a fifteen-year-old boy who doesn't even know what he's having for lunch tomorrow. How was that possible? To have a part of him completely set when another part was a mess?
"Don't worry, Peter. You got this,"
He facepalms. Now, he was offering words of encouragement to himself as Spider-Man. Yup, time for bed.
The next day at school, he's talking with Ned about their weekend plans when Flash decides to remind them of his existence.
"Hey, Penis, catch!"
His spider-sense lets him know something is heading his way before Flash even speaks but a normal person wouldn't have known about the incoming yogurt cup until it was too late. So, in normal human fashion, Peter lets the dairy treat hit him across the head, the yogurt dripping down the side of his face as everyone laughs.
"Nice catch, dickwad," Flash taunts.
Spider-Man would not have taken this sitting down. He would have webbed Flash to the wall to keep him in place while the hero gave him a lesson in manners. Unfortunately, Peter Parker can't act like Spider-Man right now, he can't afford to blow his cover. It's a shame Peter doesn't have the same confidence his alter ego has. Maybe he should ask Tony for some advice, ask what he would do in this situation. What would Mr. Stark do?
That's it! He can't be Spider-Man but he can definitely do what Tony Stark would do in his place.
Peter's not sure where it comes from, didn't think he even had it in him but he wipes the yogurt from his face before walking up to his bully. "You know what, Eu-gene? I get you're insecure, with a name like yours I don't blame you, and I can understand why you think I'm an easy target but enough is enough. I have tolerated your bullying but you're done messing with me. How about you get your life together and stop picking on others to make yourself feel better?"
The cafeteria is almost silent, the teens staring at them with either trepidation or anticipation knowing Flash wouldn't take that challenge quietly. Flash clenches his fists and takes a step towards Peter, eyes narrowed in anger.
"What did you just say, Penis?"
Peter doesn't back down, Tony would not back down. "I wasn't aware you had a hearing problem, too. You're just full of pitiful surprises, aren't you? Let me repeat myself just this once. I said, leave me alone before you push me to do something I'll regret."
"Is that a threat?"
"No, that's a promise,"
Then, without another word, Peter walks out of the cafeteria knowing Ned will follow. He can hear the students laughing at Flash and calling for Peter to finish him but he keeps walking to the restroom to clean up. His whole body is shaking with adrenaline as he tries to process what just happened. Did he really stand up to Flash? He can't believe he just did that.
"I can't believe you just did that!" Ned exclaims as he joins Peter in the restroom. "Holy shit, Peter, you were so cool! You almost sounded like Mr. Stark for a minute."
Peter laughs as he uses a paper towel to clean most of the yogurt from his hair. "You can't believe it, I can't believe it! I don't think I realized what I was doing until I was in his face. All I kept thinking was, what would Mr. Stark do?"
"You channeled your inner Stark, sweet. I wonder if you can use that more often,"
"What do you mean?"
Ned places his hands on Peter's shoulders, looking solemn as he says, "Face it, Peter, we're not cool. We'll never be cool but maybe by using your inner Stark we can avoid getting bullied for the rest of the year."
Peter scoffs then stops as he ponders on that idea. He was in no way close to being anything like Tony Stark but what if he tried solving problems like his mentor? Not just his bullying problem but other things as well? He'd spent enough time with the genius to figure out how the man works. What would Mr. Stark do? Peter was about to find out.
.
.
.
It had been two weeks since the incident in the cafeteria. Two weeks since the students had nicknamed the incident 'the rise of Penis' much to his chagrin. And two weeks since Flash had even looked Peter's way. The teen knows well enough this peace won't last, Flash isn't somebody that stays down but hopefully, it will be a while before he starts up again.
During the past two weeks, Peter's popularity had also changed dramatically. People were coming up to him, being friendly and wanting to spend time with him. That first weekend after the rise of Penis, he'd been invited to a party. He'd felt cool as he walked around like he owned the place; as if the other kids were there for his entertainment and dealing with things like Mr. Stark would. He'd even gotten buzzed! Although, that hadn't been his fault. He hadn't known somebody had spiked the punch and he'd been awfully thirsty that night.
Peter understood everyone was attracted to his Tony Stark persona but he didn't care. For the first time in his life, people were treating Peter Parker the same way the city treated Spider-Man. With respect. They treated him like he treated Tony Stark, as a hero. It felt good. Kind of.
The teen was exhausted after a day of acting like Mr. Stark. He had to live up to the image they now had of him and it was hard. For the record, Tony Stark is a difficult image to portray even for the most skilled narcissist let alone someone like Peter. It was a challenge being someone as high-maintenance as the genius billionaire but for the past two weeks, Peter had done it.
He'd put off some homework and projects in order to spend time with his new friends, he'd bailed on Ned a few times, and he'd even avoided MJ. Which in retrospect, had been a terrible idea. He could feel her cold judgment rolling off in waves every time he was in the same room as her. Luckily for him, she hadn't tried very hard to corner him, merely let him do what he wanted as if she knew it wouldn't last long.
"-eter? You're not listening, are you?"
Peter snapped out of his thoughts at the hurt tone in his friend's voice. He turned to Ned with an apologetic smile, "Sorry, what were you saying?"
Ned, for his part, was understanding of Peter's newfound popularity and would silently distance himself when Peter Stark was in play. He had thought Peter's popularity would extend to himself but that had not happened. If anything, Peter seemed to have forgotten about him as well.
"I wanted to know if you were still coming over tomorrow,"
"Tomorrow?"
"We were going to work on our new lego set, remember?"
Peter groaned, "That's tomorrow? I'm sorry, Ned, I completely forgot and made plans to go to Jenny's party."
Peter hated the defeated look on his best friend but he couldn't be a no-show to Jenny's party, everyone would be there. He'd worked hard to be accepted, he couldn't risk that.
"Can we reschedule for next weekend?"
Ned forced a smile on his face, "Sure, I'll ask my aunt to reschedule her birthday party next weekend for another date."
"Right, um, in that case, we can hang out the following weekend."
Ned stood up from the table with a sigh, "How about you let me know when you can make time to hang out? I don't think I'm able to compete with your new friends,"
"Come on, Ned, don't be like that. I'll tell you what, how about you come to Jenny's party as my guest?"
"Listen, Peter. I liked Peter Stark when he was standing up for himself and his friends. I don't like him when he replaces the people who have always been there for him for shallow friends. Let me know when you're done being a jerk,"
Well, that could have gone better.
.
.
.
After lying to Aunt May about where he'd be going, Peter showed up at Jenny's party ready to have a great time. Unfortunately, he couldn't get the betrayed look on Ned's face out of his head. His best friend had called him a jerk and had basically told Peter not to talk to him again until he was back to being old, boring Peter. Why couldn't Ned understand how important this was to him? Peter Parker was finally somebody.
Throughout the party, he was distracted. He had so many thoughts running through his head; was he making a mistake? Would Ned forgive him if he apologized? Would MJ start talking to him again? Had he royally screwed up?
Before he knew what had happened, Peter was drunk. He really needed to start paying attention to what he drank. He felt much too warm and the world kept tilting on its side. Everyone seemed to keep going in and out of focus, the room becoming blurry as his stomach performed some amazing somersaults. He was such a terrible friend.
"I'm such a terrible friend," His speech was beginning to slur. "I'm sorry," He told the people who were currently not paying attention to him.
He felt somebody grab his arm and pull him outside of the loud party. The night air a nice relief to his heated system. His vision blurred once more, his feet giving out on him. He would have fallen on his face if the hand hadn't grabbed and helped him sit on the ground.
"You really are a loser,"
Peter blinked through the hazy fog, trying to place the familiar voice. He looked up, squinting to make out the face when he remembered. "MJ?"
"Oh, you do remember me. I wasn't sure if your new big head would remember unpopular me."
"You've been avoiding me,"
MJ rolled her eyes. "You have been avoiding me, Parker. Ever since you stood up to Flash you've been acting like an idiot. I don't know how Ned can still stand being around you,"
That was harsh. MJ didn't look like she was going to stop berating him any time soon, though. If he was honest, Peter knew he deserved it. He knew he'd been a jerk to his best friends. To everyone. Not even Tony Stark was this mean to his friends. That's when it hit him, Peter had been acting like pre-Iron Man Tony Stark. Not the man who'd saved the world, but the man who'd been known as the merchant of death. The jerk.
"I'm sorry," He mumbled as he lowered his head into his hands. MJ seemed to deflate as the anger and disappointment left her, replaced by understanding and forgiveness. She hoped this apology was sincere because if it wasn't she was going to have to take drastic measures to get her friend back.
"If you really mean it, you're going to have to prove it." She told him without much heat in her words. Peter would have to apologize to Ned and stop acting like a prima-donna.
Peter was too drunk to understand that's what she meant. Instead, he shakily stood up and walked back inside to the party followed by a confused MJ. He went up to the DJ and asked for the microphone because he had an announcement to make.
"I'm a loser," He told the audience. The party guests seemed to know there was going to be juicy gossip coming because phones immediately went up to record the drunken Peter. Unfortunately for them, nothing else was said. Peter handed back the microphone and walked back outside. Everyone was confused as to what had just happened but it was quickly replaced by laughter when Flash spoke up.
"We know, Penis. I guess we all know who needs to stick to chocolate milk,"
MJ reached Peter who had started to walk down the street, hands in his pockets. "You can't walk home alone while drunk, loser."
Peter wanted to tell her the alcohol would leave his system soon enough but he was sober enough to know that would be a bad idea. "I'll call for a ride,"
"Go ahead, then. I can't leave you alone in good conscious knowing you're drunk off your ass. Ned would never forgive me."
Holding back a groan, he pulled out his phone to call his aunt only to remember she was working late. Not seeing another choice, he called the only other person he knew to be awake at this hour.
"Hey, Happy. I'm sorry to bother you but I need a ride home."
Twenty minutes later, Peter was listening to Happy talk about underage drinking and kids these days. Peter couldn't blame him, he knew he looked like a drunk kid and MJ hadn't helped with her, "He's had over a dozen beers," comment. Which, by the way, was a lie. He thinks. He really doesn't know how many he had.
He notices they're going the wrong way and asks Happy what's going on. "The boss said to take you to the compound, your aunt already knows. They didn't want you home alone in case you threw up on yourself and died."
"She knows? Wait, Mr. Stark knows? Why?"
"Because actions have consequences, kid."
"But I wasn't even that drunk and by the time we reach the compound I won't even be buzzed,"
Happy shakes his head, "That's not the point. Do you know how easy it is to make mistakes when you're not thinking straight? How dangerous that can be especially when you're hiding a big secret from the world? Did you even think?"
Man, everybody was really laying it on thick today. To be fair, he'd made more mistakes while sober than drunk. "I know, I'm sorry."
"That's not going to cut it this time. Just sit tight, we'll be there soon."
Peter leaned his head back, closing his eyes. What would Mr. Stark do in this situation? Nope, that's the kind of thinking that got him into this mess in the first place. It was time to start thinking as Peter Parker again.
By the time they reached the compound, Peter was ready and sober. Tony was waiting for him inside with arms crossed, feet tapping the floor impatiently, and an angry frown on his face.
"Before you say anything, Mr. Stark, I'm sorry. I really am." Tony opened his mouth to say something but Peter continued. "I've been an inconsiderate jerk who thought being popular was more important than being true to myself. I pushed my friends to the side, lied to my aunt, drank alcohol, albeit unintentionally, and caused trouble for you and Happy. I neglected my duties as Spider-Man, people could have gotten hurt because of me and that's something I won't forgive myself for.
"I told myself if I acted more like you, I'd become a better person but that wasn't true. I was just looking to become cool and forgot why I wanted to be like you in the first place. Spider-Man is great, he does what needs to be done and doesn't care about fitting in. That's why I never thought about what Iron Man would do while I was Spider-Man because Spider-Man is fine just as he is. But when I'm Peter Parker I'm nobody special, I'm boring and uncool. I wanted to be like you, Mr. Stark but it's exhausting."
Peter lifts his arms in exasperation, "You don't like to rely on others, you think you have to keep up this sarcastic facade in order to keep others at a distance while having them think you're cool for doing so, you can be mean but you don't usually mean it, and you're actually quite sensitive. I can't keep up with that! I rather stay as I am and work on becoming a better person one day at a time like a normal human being.
"Not that you're not a great person, you are, Mr. Stark. But I need to be myself instead of trying to be you. I don't think there's another single person who can pull off being Tony Stark as great as you and that's how it should be. From now on, instead of asking what would Mr. Stark do, I'll think about what I would do. What would Peter Parker do?
"Now, just because I've learned my lesson, that doesn't mean I don't deserve to be punished. I'm grounding myself for two weeks; no patroling, no going out, and I will volunteer at the community center to remind myself why I chose to be Spider-Man in the first place."
By the time he's finished, he's breathing heavily but he feels better. Tony is staring at him in utter shock. He looks like he's been caught off guard and trying to process everything that's been said. Also, maybe Peter was still a little drunk.
"Right, you're grounded for two weeks. Go to your room,"
Peter nods, accepting his fate with good grace. "I really am sorry, Mr. Stark."
Tony seems to have shaken off the shock from a minute ago and wraps an arm around Peter's shoulders. "Pete, you're a better man than I'll ever be but you're still a kid. You're going to mess up, you'll learn from your mistakes, and you'll eventually know and accept Peter Parker. Don't forget, Spider-Man is you but in a suit. A very expensive and highly intelligent suit but a suit nonetheless. Without Peter Parker, there is no Spider-Man."
Peter tries not to show how much that hit the nail on the head in regards to how he's been feeling. He thought he was proud of Spider-Man but he'd actually been proud of Peter Parker all along, he just didn't know it. He gives his mentor a relieved smile.
"Thanks, Mr. Stark,"
"Don't mention it." The man waves the thanks away. "Now, tell me what the hell you were saying earlier but a bit slo-wer this time."
He does and Tony tries very hard no to laugh at the teenage angst. He partially succeeds.
After apologizing to Ned for crossing over to the dark side and promising to make it up to him, Peter goes back to being known as a loser to those who don't matter. To those who do matter, he's back to being who he's always been...Peter Parker. And there's nobody else he'd rather be.
What would Mr. Stark do? Peter knows not to ask.
.
.
.
Wow, hopefully, that came out as good as it did in my head because it sounded great while feeling under the weather. I tried going over it but the Nyquil insists it's fine. I'll go over it again later once I'm feeling better but I really wanted to post it. I hope you enjoyed it for the fluffy corniness it is. Please, let me know. :)
I read somewhere online that in the comics, Spider-Man actually is able to get drunk but the few times it happens, it's unintentional. I can't even imagine how Tom Holland's Spider-Man would look drunk but I'm sure it'd be quite the sight.