Ailment

Summary: Pre-TPM. Qui-Gon Jinn & Obi-Wan Kenobi. Obi-Wan POV. Obi-Wan helps Qui-Gon fight for his life when a deadly virus plagues the Jedi Master. This will be a 2-part story.

His hair was mussed. Messy. So different. So unlike him.

What happened on that planet wasn't just a flu that could be pushed and cleansed from his system. This was something strange and unknown and there were healers all around. Day and night. Trying to isolate the virus or pathogen. Whatever it was. They still didn't know.

He's here. The Temple hospital. For days now. Connected to life by tubes and bags. Brow covered in sweat from intense raging fever. Pale. Weak.

Dying. He's dying. The healers have told me as much without using the actual words. But I can feel it. I know.

I sit with him still. Trying hard to reach him, but our Force bond is only empty space.

I brought a brush with me today. I can't bear to see his long hair tangled so badly and I comb the mess from his face.

Healer Terran is here now. Checking him. Checking me. His hand rests on my shoulder.

"No change, Obi-Wan. I'm sorry."

It's all he could do. All any of them could do. Tell me how sorry they were. I wish they would stop it. Stop apologizing. Stop talking. Just... stop.

Terran was gone now and I pulled my master's hand into my own and held tightly. My other hand moved to his brow to dab a cool cloth there. My tears finally fell and I couldn't do a thing to stop them, not any longer. It didn't matter. Nothing did. Not anymore.

Reaching once more for our bond, I found more empty. I found loneliness. Hopelessness. This is why, according to the Jedi Code and those who followed it to the letter, there is no emotion. It's why Jedi shouldn't form attachments. You attach and it can be impossible to let go. From the time I was taken an apprentice, however, one person told me to follow the will of the Force, even if it countered the will of the Code. He made certain that I understood that Jedi or not, a human can only repress so much.

And now here he was, dying before my eyes.

I leaned forward to press my forehead to his. The torrid heat still present.

"Master. Please wake up." I begged in vain.

How long I sat there, I'd lost track. But I would stay with him as long as he drew breath. And if he drew breath, however strained it might be... it meant he was still fighting. Still trying. If he was willing, I would not leave him to battle alone.

Maybe another day passed. Maybe three. It was dark in his room. the lights dimmed just so. My vigil of wiping his brow and cooling his face and neck continued. I extended the cloth to his arms and hands. Anything to manage the fever. Terran had suggested an ice bath at one point but then agreed that Qui-Gon was so weak, he was afraid that moving him would cause enough undue stress to counter any fight that my master was still attempting. Essentially, pushing him past any point of possible recovery.

So I continued my fruitless attempts to comfort him.

More hours passed. Could've been another full day. Or longer. At this point, I'd lost all track of time and days. I'd not ventured out of the hospital room for anything other than shower and restroom breaks since this had all begun. There was no reason too. This was my place. At his side. As his apprentice. As his friend. As his family. Jedi Code be damned.

Terran had given up trying to get me to leave. To rest. I'd refused, despite his threats to drag me off to my quarters. They weren't true threats anyway. More than likely, it was a healer humoring the Council who wanted me be back on duty, assigned to another as Qui-Gon's fate played out in a desolate and sterile hospital room.

I didn't give a damn about what the Council said or thought right now. And that was unlike me. Perhaps I'd learned one too many lessons of defiance from Master Qui-Gon after all. I smiled inwardly at that thought. How much his teachings meant to me. And why did it have to take something like this to realize just how much his lessons were a part of me now?

Did more days pass? Possibly. Possibly not. No change in Qui-Gon's condition. More tests were run. More poking and prodding. I flinched each time they stuck hypos in his arms to draw new blood or whatever they were doing. His hair was a mess again from the constant sweating. My master deserved so much better. If he was to die, where was the dignity in this?

I fixed his hair once more, grabbed another clean cloth. Iced his neck and face. Terran had also started applying coolness to his legs. Small towels now covered bare skin from the knees down.

"We've still not narrowed to the correct treatment, Obi-Wan." The healer said to me as he set fresh towels on Qui-Gon's legs. "Each time we think we see an answer ahead, there's a detour. We are beginning to believe that this virus mutates when it senses danger. That there is some type of intelligence to it."

"Perhaps there is, but you are smarter than a simple virus, are you not, Terran?"

"I'd like to think so, but it's not so simple. However, each attempt leads to another clue. It could be we just have to keep trying until we narrow it enough to block it from mutating that final time. Before time runs out on us."

I sighed, reaching an elbow up to wipe the sudden emotion from my face. Trying to stay strong. Trying to fight with Master Qui-Gon. Trying to fight for him. It was excruciating. Exhausting to the point where I finally admitted my struggle to the healer.

"I've had feelings, Terran, despite seeking furtherance within the Force. Some of those feelings are pushing me to give up. Thinking that he will not survive and that he shouldn't suffer so in such an undignified manner. I admit that a part of me wants to tell him that it's all right for him to let go. But that's wrong. I know it is. Maybe he won't fight unless I fight..."

A soft hand on my shoulder again. "It's not wrong, Obi-Wan. You are seeing him at the absolute worst. There seems to be little hope. And you feel only defeat. I know your bond with him is empty right now. But if there is a flicker of life there, then he can feel you and he knows you are here. Don't give up yet. I am certainly not giving up. I need you to keep him going while I keep going. All this I'm doing now? All these endless hours and days and testing and warring with a damn virus... it's not for nothing. So here," He handed me a new stack of clean cloths which I then set into the nearby ice basin. Then he lowered his head toward mine. "Clean. Cold. I promise, Obi-Wan, that I will let you know if I reach an end game. If I know there is no longer hope of defeating this virus, I'll be honest with you about it. But we're not there yet. So, keep fighting for him, all right?"

I nodded. Couldn't talk without my voice breaking on me. Didn't need a complete break down. I'd managed to avoid that so far.

And so I continued my vigil again.

And again and again. More time slogged past. Five days? Three weeks? Who knew? Terran purposely didn't tell me.

For his silence, I was grateful.

I fell asleep at some point and woke to see that the towels had been changed. Terran was always looking after us even when he was eyeball deep in a virus war. For me, it was now becoming very difficult to not succumb to long periods of sleep. An hour helped, but my body - mostly my mind - needed so much more.

I brushed out Qui-Gon's hair once more. Straightened the cloths. Dabbed his mouth with dropper of water. Rotated his pillow. Did whatever basic actions to make sure he was as comfortable as possible. It's what he deserved. It's what I could do for him.

Some point in the middle of a night - who knew which one - I heard shouting. It woke me from my unexpected slumber and immediately my heart feared the worst. But as my brain became less cloudy, the shouts were not of dismay, but of... relief? Excitement? Something was happening.

That something came with an older gray-haired healer rushing into our room with an energy that had been previously absent.

"Obi-Wan, I think we broke it. Or stopped it. Whatever. Just need one more blood sample." Another hypo jabbed into Qui-Gon's arm. "Good. Give me a few minutes. Don't let him die." He tore out of the room.

"Don't let him die? Terran? What's happening?" But he was gone. And... don't let him die. Okay. Isn't that what I'd been doing for the last however many days? Yes, more cooling rags and towels. Legs. Arms. Face. Neck. Chest. All of it. I replaced them all and then cupped a hand around the back of my master's neck, once more pressing my forehead to his. Fever. Still. As intense as ever. But no dying. Not while the healers were so close.

"Master. Just a little while longer now, all right? Terran almost has it. You've fought this long. This hard. Don't give up now. I'm here. I will stay here as long as you fight."

More shouting. People running into the room. "We got it, we got it, we got it. Finally! Okay, Obi-Wan, I know this may seem like a stupid statement since he's not moved in the three weeks he's been here, but don't let him move."

Three weeks. So that's how long... wait... "What? Why would he move?"

"Because we're about to ram his system with four counteragents at once and he's going to feel it. We know how to cut the virus off at the pass, so to speak. We have the medicines, we just had to figure the correct combinations and values and... oh, never mind. We have to do this now, and it will hurt. I realize you won't be able to keep him completely still, but you'll know what I mean. Okay, each healer has a hypo. Four healers, four hypos, four locations. Obi-Wan, take his hand. Hold it tight. Talk to him, yell at him, order him. Whatever you need to do to get through when he starts to struggle against it. We need a few minutes for the slow-release hypos to work. Everyone. On the count of three."

My breathing picked up, I felt panic, but reached for the Force and quickly shoved the feeling down. Qui-Gon's hand I took in my own and held it hard, but it wouldn't be enough. So one last time, I set my brow against his and pleaded with him.

Terran counted down. "One. Two. Three. Hypo's in. Hold him, Obi-Wan. His life literally depends on it. I will let you know when the needed time has passed."

I listened but kept all my focus on my master. Squeezing hard to his hand. Pressing hard to his brow. Just as Terran said, he began to struggle. To fight. To hurt. His voice found my ear and screamed in pain, but I didn't let go. Somehow I pushed all my panic and fear and anxiety into one focal point and with the power of the Force behind me, I shoved a moving Jedi Master flat against the bed refusing to let him budge until the healers were finished.

"Please, Master. You must not struggle against the pain. The pain will help you. It will heal you. But you have to keep still. Find a focus. Focus on me, Master." I pulled my head away from him slightly to see he'd opened his eyes. They were terrified with the intense pain along with not knowing what was happening. Not to mention, the lack of control he had over anything... but he could see me now. And I could use that. "Here, Master. I'm here. The pain will go soon. Focus on me until it does. Focus on me here. It's difficult, I know. But it will be better soon."

"Almost there, Obi-Wan, almost." Terran assured me. "And... hypo's out. Done. Give him a moment and he should start to settle."

The other three healers retreated from the room. Terran stayed to retrieve one last blood sample once the deployment of the treatment was completed.

"Five minutes, Obi-Wan. Then I'll know for certain. I be back soon."

He exited the room and Qui-Gon continued to watch me with clouded, confused eyes. Struggling to figure it all out. My master was never one to appreciate when he did not have a handle on a situation. It frustrated him to not see or to know what was happening around him and to be able to locate possible solutions. So, I carefully explained all that had transpired. Where he was. What was going on. I hope he understood. If nothing else, it kept my own mind busy while waiting the longest five minutes of my life.

Terran bounded back into the room. "Virus defeated. It was blocked and unable to mutate any further and then pushed into submission until it essentially suffocated. Want more details?"

"Are they exciting and will they make sense?" I responded.

"They are boring and scientific. Never mind." A strong arm wrapped around my shoulders. "He's going to be all right, Obi-Wan."

"Are you absolutely certain, Terran? Such a severe sickness..."

"I am. I had all four of us, the best healers in the Temple, confirm the same thing. He will need time to recover, but most of that can be done at home. So you, my dedicated young apprentice, will finally be able to rest in your own bed."

"I would like that," I smiled and turned to Qui-Gon. "Did you hear that, Master? You will recover and go home soon." But, he'd already already retreated into sleep as worry crept over me... until I saw his face. Relaxed. At peace. I turned back to Terran. "Thank you for saving him. Please thank your entire healing crew as well. I am indebted to you all."

"You are most welcome, Obi-Wan. I believe we learned a lot from this ordeal for medicinal purposes. And yes, I think you very well may be indebted to me. Remember that next time you try and get out of my healing-arts class, right?"

Releasing the healer from my grasp I bowed shallow. "I swear I will take the very next class you offer. When can Master Qui-Gon go home? When will his fever drop? Will he need..."

"Patience, boy. I know Qui-Gon harps on you about that almost daily. Find some of it. Use it. The fever should begin to reside in a few hours time. Depending on that, we will see what tomorrow brings. You can go home this evening though. He is out of danger. There's no need for you to continue to take up space in my hospital."

There wasn't reason. He was correct, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Not until Qui-Gon's fever was under control. "Someone has to keep with the cool rags until his body temperature is down. May I stay one more night?"

I pleaded, offering my best innocent yet sad padawan eyes. It either worked or Terran had always planned to let me stay. Probably that. Either way, I wasn't leaving.

—-

Late the following day, Qui-Gon was discharged. I latched myself to his side, holding his arm as we walked slowly from the hospital to our apartment. His legs were somewhat sloggy, but he needed to use them after being in bed so long. That he didn't fight me at all during our way home was either a blessing of the Force or something to worry on. And as Terran had told me to stop worrying so much, I sided with blessing.

"Here, Master. Sit in your chair. I will bring you tea. Would you like something to eat?"

"Some soup would be nice. Thank you, Obi-Wan."

Tea on. Soup on. I sat both on the table next to Qui-Gon. he enjoyed a slow tasting of both. "Feels strange to have something in my stomach."

"Terran said go slow. Nothing crazy for a few days."

"I certainly do not eat crazy, Obi-Wan."

"You ate those horribly hot peppers on our last mission. You were in the bathroom for three hours after. That qualifies as crazy."

"Well, yes. There are certain exceptions to any rule. I promise will abide by the healers and go slowly." Qui-Gon sipped his tea, eyeing me carefully in the process. Taking everything in, feeling everything on our newly rejoined Force bond. "You've not slept in many days have you?"

I shrugged. "Not much. An hour here and there. I was too busy and worried to sleep. I'm certain I will sleep well tonight."

"Terran told me what you did. Around the clock care, looking

after me. I felt something. I didn't know what it was. It was determined and persistent. A little annoying at times. Like a tiny little insect that buzzes around your head without a moment of peace."

This time, I blushed slightly. I didn't think that was a rebuke, but more like Qui-Gon trying to find the humor in an impossible situation. "Perhaps that was my intention, Master. Annoy you so badly, that you had to get better in order to get your revenge on me." I ended with a smirk.

Qui-Gon set his tea down and leaned forward, head falling into his hands.

"Master?"

"I'm all right, Obi-Wan. Just very tired. Even talking is an effort it seems. I apologize that I am not better company for you."

"You are the best company I could wish for right now. You should go lie down."

He took a large breath and slowly released it, in part, into the Force. Touching our bond as he did so. He smiled.

"Apparently, you are well on your way to becoming a healer, as I understand it."

"No, Master," I laughed at his joke. "It's difficult work and far too much science. Oh, and it takes much patience. I am quite the fever controller however."

"So I heard." He began pushing himself up from the chair, with struggle. I was at his side immediately. "Thank you, Padawan.

If you could help me to my bedroom. Being so fatigued, I am finding it difficult to seek the Force."

"Yes, Master." We walked carefully and I helped him into the bed, lifting his legs for him and setting them onto the mattress. Removing his soft hospital shoes in the process with a little help from the Force. "I have cleared your schedule for the next few days. I spoke with Master Yoda. He said let him know when you are ready for full duty again. And he promised not to take me from you."

A flash of confusion strode across my master's face at that last comment. "Take you from me?"

I explained about the Council, all except Yoda, wanting me to continue my training duties with another Jedi Master until Qui-Gon was either recovered or... not. I had refused, defying their order. I did have the backing of the top Jedi healer in the Temple of course.

"You defied the Council? Obi-Wan, I am..."

I readied to hang my head, waiting for the rebuke.

"I am very proud of you. You truly are my apprentice. Well done."

My head stayed high instead and I grinned.

"I learned from the best."

"Others may not think so, but you continue to move forward with with every step you take, Obi-Wan. And this adventure had you take many of those steps."

"I'm tired of steps, Master. I think I will turn in as well. It's still early, but I believe I might sleep for a week."

"You do that," Qui-Gon said as I moved to the bedroom door. "Thank you for saving my life, Obi-Wan."

"Healer Terran actually saved you, I just..."

"Saved me. Thank you."

"You're welcome. I admit though that I was a bit terrified at times that I might lose you. But you refused to give up, I had no choice but to do the same."

"Tomorrow is a new day, Padawan."

"It is. Good night, Master."

"Good night, Obi-Wan."

END - TBC in Chapter 2...