"Is there a reason why you're staring so intently at Rossi's office?" JJ asked her dark-haired friend, passing her coffee to her and perching on the edge of her desk.

"She's been doing it for the past seven minutes and forty-four seconds," Reid interjected, briefly looking up from the stack of cases he was reading.

"I'm staring thoughtfully, not intently," Emily corrected, taking an absent-minded sip of her drink and hissing at the temperature. "Thanks."

JJ cocked her head to one side and stared at the office as well.

"Is there something up with him?" she asked.

"He was cursing Strauss earlier," Reid supplied. "Something about reports and bureaucrats."

They all winced. It wasn't often that someone got Hotch to lose his composure but when he did and the team wasn't needed, it was best to just stay out of his way.

"We'll just leave him to it, then," JJ decided with a grimace.

"Back to why Emily's staring at his door," said Morgan, standing up from his desk and wandering over to Reid's to lean on.

"I'm just wondering what it would be like if Rossi was a vampire," Emily explained as of that was the most natural thing in the world.

That got her three sets of curious looks. Then Reid snorted and gave Emily a knowing look. Morgan and JJ looked confused.

"That would be a tragedy of Shakespearean proportions for him."

"Because that's totally a normal thing to think about," Morgan muttered at the same time, shaking his head.

Emily poked him and explained, "I just came to the realisation that whoever came up with vampires has a serious thing against Italians."

"I feel like I'm going to regret this, but why?" JJ asked, an amused expression on her face.

"Don't encourage her," said Morgan in exasperation.

Emily shrugged, "It's just that it seems like everything that vampires can't do or are seriously affected by are all anti-Italian rules."

"Anti-Italian, really, Emily?" asked JJ.

"Well, it's obvious, isn't it? Can't touch garlic or see themselves in a mirror-"

"Or touch crosses or go out in the sun," Reid continued eagerly, always loving a good discussion on Halloween related topics.

"So, wait a second here," said Morgan, rubbing a hand across his face. "Are you saying that whoever dreamt up vampires just had a thing against Italians?"

"Duh."

"Technically, our modern stereotype of an Italian is just that, modern. It wouldn't have existed when the tales of vampires were first spoken," said Reid. "The myth of the vampire is a conglomeration of centuries of folklore and literature. Some of it really bad."

He hadn't quite gotten over Twilight.

"Still Anti-Italian," Emily insisted. "Can you imagine that Rossi couldn't cook with garlic?"

"He'd be so annoyed," Morgan replied, smirking despite himself.

"What do you mean, I can't have garlic? Do you know where I'm from?" JJ mocked.

Reid quickly glanced up to make sure Rossi wasn't going to suddenly appear before smiling.
"That's definitely something he would say. I say he'd still try using it?"

"And risk getting burnt?"

"It is Rossi and garlic. You think big a vampire is going stop him putting it in his pasta dishes?"

"True."

"Wouldn't the main issue be the mirror thing? Have you ever seen Rossi walk by a mirror and not check himself out in it?"

Morgan laughed at that. "Not being able to see himself in a mirror would be the worst," he agreed.

"Actually, that's not entirely true. The reason why vampires can't see their reflections in mirrors is because mirrors would typically use a thin layer of silver behind them to do the reflecting," Reid eagerly explained.

"So, because they can't touch silver, they couldn't see?" Emily verified.

"Yep, " Reid confirmed. "And mirrors don't exclusively use silver anymore. Plenty use aluminium.

"So, they wouldn't always have issues seeing themselves? That would be even more annoying," exclaimed Morgan.

"I don't know where or not we should be disturbed that you just referred to vampires in the present tense," said JJ, eyeing her best friend suspiciously.

"There's no proof saying that there's no vampires," said Reid.

"I thought you were a 'Man of Science'?" Morgan teased. "Doesn't that mean no werewolves or vampires?"

Reid shot him a dark look.

"All legends are based in some sort of truth," he replied huffily.

Emily shook her head; she knew Reid still loved believing in magic and the supernatural.

He'd managed to keep that childlike wonder about them.

"I'm just trying to think how he'd survive," said Emily. "So far, it's not looking too good."

"Can't go out in sunlight? How would he meet all of his fans?" Morgan joked.

"I don't think he'd mind that at times," JJ said thoughtfully, remembering Rossi complaining about his agent scheduling too many meet-ups. "He prefers the inside ones anyway."

"It wouldn't affect him as much," Emily agreed.

"What about the whole thing with crucifixes? A Catholic vampire? How would that work?" Morgan pointed out

"There's an oxymoron," Morgan laughed.

"Technically, a vampire can turn anyone he wants to," Reid pointed out. "Catholics included."

"That would be more of a problem in Italy," said Emily, after giving the point some thought and shuddered. "Crucifixes everywhere."

"Vampires can't go near the things, right?" checked Morgan.

"It was a common thought that vampires were agents of Satan therefore they fear religious symbols," Reid elaborated.

"So, technically, they could go near them? It would just be creepy as hell for them?"

"I don't think Rossi likes crucifixes that much," JJ told Morgan.

"There's loads in those paintings of his," Morgan protested.

"Do they count as religious symbols?"

They both looked at Reid.

"Technically?"

They shook their heads and returned to the discussion.

"Does holy water affect vampires? Because I'd love to see him try and explain that to a priest," Emily said excitedly.

"I don't think vampires can go into churches... the whole crucifix thing, remember?" JJ reminded her.

"Oh, yeah," Emily replied, deflating slightly.

"You do realise that Rossi's not actually a vampire, right?" said Reid.

That got them all laughing, their discussion had been so intense that that little fact had actually slipped their mind.

"What got all you kids interested?" the man himself asked, emerging from his office.

They all exchanged questioning looks. Morgan none-to-subtlety elbowed Emily.

"About how you'd deal with being a vampire," she explained.

Rossi blinked are her and then gave them all a strange look. Deciding that he most definitely did not want to know the details of that particular conversation but having his own suspicions (they weren't exactly quiet), he kept it short and brief.

"It would be a nightmare," he informed them and went to look for Hotch for some adult conversation. Vampires. Honestly. This lot got weirder by the day.

Laughter erupted from behind him and he rolled his eyes. These were the BAU'S finest? He couldn't help but shudder though. A life without garlic was just a life not worth living.