Naruto and Sai ran through a town on the outskirts of Fire Country. The two had become fast friends during the weeks of 'deprogramming', and were promptly assigned the mission of tracking down Tsunade, with Jiraiya 'leading' them, for a given value of 'leading'. In this case, 'leading' meant going off into the hot springs while Naruto and Sai looked through various casinos and bars. That's not to say he didn't teach the pair of Chunin anything—Naruto and Sai's sealing had gotten much better, and Naruto was beginning to figure out the Ransengan.

As the two turned a corner into an alleyway, the brick wall of the house to their right exploded, and stones rained down on the two. Sai drew a monkey in chakra ink, which promptly sprang to life and started catching the stones, when one of the high-velocity pebbles hit Naruto. When the smoke cleared, only Naruto's clothes lay on the ground. After a few moments of muted horror, Sai realized the blond's plan and kept running.

One very angry Tsunade rounded the corner with a cry of rage, passed over Naruto's clothes, and punched the already-weakened wall of a nearby building.

Sai drew a barrier of chakra ink to slow the Sannin's assault, then kept running. He was already halfway to the hot springs, where Jiraiya most likely was, and he wasn't stupid enough to attempt to engage one of the Sannin. As he ran, he thought back to how this situation had started…

—

A few hours ago...

Naruto and Sai entered the fourth bar in the town. The previous three had had most of their liquor stores consumed by, as the bartenders described her, a 'no-nonsense, blond woman with knockers thiiiiis big and a diamond tattoo on her forehead'. In other words, Tsunade. Given what Jiraiya had said about the Slug Princess's drinking problem, she would most likely be hitting another bar by now. The two headed to the next bar on the far side of town.

—

Naruto opened the door of the dilapidated building. It was the seediest-looking place they had been so far, and the patrons reflected the state of the building. The smell of strong grain spirits and rice wine assaulted the boys' nostrils. People looking as though they had reached rock bottom drank entire bottles of high-proof liquor. Sitting on one of the barstools at the counter was a woman who matched the description they had been given. Though at first glance she looked as wasted as the others at the bar, there was an unmistakable air of power about her.

"You two boys shouldn't be here," the bartender said. "Go run along. You're too young to have ruined your life already."

"We're just looking for a person," Sai said with one of his trademark fake smiles. He then tapped his forehead protector. "For a mission. We're shinobi, you see."

The bartender nodded, then ran grab another bottle of sake as Tsunade finished the one she was on. "If you could get that woman out of here, I'd appreciate it. She's been draining my stores for an hour."

Sai tilted his head in acknowledgement and walked over to where Tsunade was sitting, Naruto in tow. Taking a seat at a nearby barstool, he tapped the blonde on the shoulder.

"What do you want, kid?" she asked grumpily, turning her head.

"You're Hokage now," Naruto said.

"Very funny. Go run along and prank someone else. How did you kids get in here, anyway?"

"We're shinobi, and it's not a prank." Ruffling through the various pockets on his orange shirt, Naruto produced an official-looking form. "Just sign here and come back to Konoha, everything's in order."

Tsunade tightened her grip on the bottle of sake she held, shattering it. "Fuck off, kid. I don't have time to play games."

"I assure you, Tsunade-sama, this is no joke—" Sai began, before the bartender cut him off.

"Miss Tsunade, I'll need you to sign the bill. I'm all out of sake and the bar's closing soon," he said.

The sannin grumbled, then fished around in her pockets for a pen and signed the document placed in front of her. Then her eyes widened in horror at what she realized she had signed. As Sai grabbed the document, Tsunade cast her gaze over at Naruto, whose hands were in the ending seal of the Substitution Jutsu. The orange-wearing blond grinned like a kid caught with his hands in the cookie jar.

For a moment, all was silent. Then the bar exploded, with Naruto and Sai running from the shrapnel.

—

Back to the present…

As Tsunade leapt after Sai, who was attempting to make a getaway on a bird of chakra ink, Naruto undid the Transformation Jutsu he had casted on himself to become his clone's clothes. Pushing chakra from his fingertips in such a way that it formed a spinning ball, he attempted to form a Ransegnan. To add to the rotation, he placed his second hand over his first hand, forming a wildly spinning ball of chakra. Though Jiraiya had asked him not to use seals in the creation of the Ransegnan, this was an emergency. Grabbing a seal from a pocket on the collar of his shirt with his teeth, he completed the Ransegnan's rotation and formed it into a stable, spiralling ball of chakra. With his now-free hand, he made a shadow clone, which threw him at Tsunade.

True to her reputation, the Slug Sannin deflected the attack with a kick to Naruto's stomach, which sent him flying into a wall of a nearby building. His body impacted the bricks, which cracked and fell on him in a pile. The wall turned out to be load-bearing, and its destruction caused the building to collapse on Naruto.

"That's one brat out," Tsunade growled. "And one more to go."

As she looked up to locate Sai, she was greeted with a tiger falling from the sky, thanks to the boy's art techniques. Swatting it away as one might swat a fly, she jumped into the air and caught the tail of the ink falcon Sai was flying on, pulling the bird down to earth.

Another powerful punch knocked the ex-ROOT chunin into a dumpster, causing it to crumple on impact. Slimy banana peels and rotten tomatoes covered Sai as he slumped from the impact.

Surveying the destruction she'd caused, Tsunade put her hands on her hips. "I haven't had fun like that in a while. Still, I wonder how late the casinos are open…"

As she trailed off in thought, the pile of rubble covering Naruto began to shift and then burst with shadow clones, all wielding Ransegnans. Standing atop the pile of bricks was the original Naruto. An aura of red chakra surrounded him and his clones.

"I'm not giving up!" he proclaimed. "I won't be beaten! I'm not gonna fall until I become Hokage! Now bring it, granny!"

—

Bugs Bunny made his way to the border with Rain. True to the country's name, as he'd approached the weather had become more humid, and the sky became overcast. When he got close, it finally began raining and the massive gate at the border loomed before him.

A guard ninja stopped him. "Your name?" he asked.

"King Arthur of Camelot," Bugs responded, using he had been given by Konoha's spy force.

"Quest?"

"To seek da Holy Grail."

"And the airspeed of an unladen swallow?"

"African or European?"

"Wrong answer."

"What?!"

"That was last month's password," the guard-nin said, moving his hands into position. "Prepare to die in the name of Lord Pain."

"I bet you're just too much of a coward to let me in," Bugs taunted. "If dis Pain guy is stronger den ya, and you can beat me, the Pain should beat me no problem. So why not let me in?"

"I am not a coward," the rain-nin said calmly. "I am simply doing my job, given to me by the great god Pain."

"Really? Then I dare ya to step over dis line," Bugs said, drawing a line in the mud.

"I don't have time to partake in such foolishness," the rain-nin responded. "Water Release: Cleansing Flood!"

A huge flood of water burst from the rain-nin's hands, flooding the already-soaked ground and blasting away shrubs. As the mud settled and the water spread out, one sopping wet Bugs Bunny was revealed.

"I guess I needed dat shower after all dat mud. Thanks, doc," he said. "But ya know, I bet dat da guys in Konoha will have a nice laugh about how chicken da guys in Amegakure are. Can't even step over a line in da mud!"

"Wait, wait!" the rain-nin said. "I'll step over your line. Just don't go spreading rumors. I don't want Lord Pain killing people needlessly."

"Good!" Bugs said. "Now I dare ya to step over dis one!"

—

Two Hours Later

"And dis one!" Bugs proclaimed, drawing a line in the mud with his toe and stepping back. The rain-nin followed.

"Say, doc, we've ended up inside!" the rabbit said, pointing to the enormous iron gates. "Would you mind letting me out?"

"Sure," the rain-nin said. "If it means the end of your silly game."

"Of course I'll stop once you let me out," Bugs said. "You have my word, doc."

With a hand seal from the guard ninja, the gates creaked open. Bugs walked inside, chuckling to himself once he was out of earshot.

Half a minute later, the rain-nin realized his mistake and howled to the heavens.