I don't own Naruto. That is definitely a good thing for anime fans everywhere.

Chapter 1: Where… Where Am I?

Eternity.

He never gave the concept much thought. Why think about eternity when the present has more pressing concerns? He's never been one for religion either. Faith, to him, was reserved for the love, trust and camaraderie between himself and his friends, not for any higher being. Of course, that was until he died. Oh well. Better late than never.

"Is this what the rest of the afterlife gonna be like? Why does the sky look like Ero-Sennin after Tsunade-baa-chan caught him peeping?"

So who is the dead man walking that decided to pull his soul out of his corpse and left him in this soulless plane?

"That would be me."

Ah. Ask and you shall receive apparently. Boy, did he have some shit to say. What sort of asshole tears someone's soul away from their still-warm body parts? Wasn't there some sort of process for this crap?

"Normally, yes, but you're Fate's Golden Boy, so I decided to speed up the process instead of waiting for you to linger on earth."

Shit. She could hear his thoughts. Wait… she?

"Yes. She. Do you have something against female deities?"

"No?"

"Are you answering my question with another question?"

"... no?"

Exasperated sigh. "Just turn around."

Okay. Big reveal moment. No pressure. He's just about to meet a deity. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath and turned around. What, or rather who, he saw left his heart frozen in fear.

Before him, dressed in a lavender kimono accented with white trim was a beautiful woman. Pale, alabaster skin complimented by cherry red lips and luscious white hair. Pupiless lavender eyes stared at him with intent, as if peering into the very depths of his soul. Knowing that she was the one who tore out his soul, that might not be too far from the truth. Two horns of jagged grey bone adorned her head.

"Kaguya!" Without further adieu, his body tensed and lowered its center of gravity. His hands automatically moved to the signature cross hand sign of the Kage Bunshin no Jutsu. However, when he tried to mold his chakra, nothing happened. Silence followed his failed attempt to spawn clones.

A pleasant sound reminiscent of tinkling chimes broke the silence.

Did… did she just giggle?

"This has to be a dream. A really, really fucked up dream."

"You are not dreaming and I am not Kaguya Ōtsutsuki, Naruto," the clearly not-human woman replied. "Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Kagura. Besides, I do not have her Rinne Sharingan." She further proved her point by pointing at her forehead, which lacked both the Rinne Sharingan and the crescent moon that represented the closed third eye.

Naruto gave a confused blink before violently shaking his head. "Bullshit! This has to be a genjutsu-ttebayo!"

"'Ttebayo?' Ara ara. That verbal tic really is cute."

"And what did you do to me? Why can't I access my chakra?" Silence followed. "Oh right. Because… I'm dead." Cue obligatory embarrassed head scratch.

She couldn't keep the smile off her face. "Exactly."

However, her response appeared to have fallen on deaf ears. Somehow, he'd appeared further away from her in the split second it took her to blink. Now crouched down and drawing circles on the gray surface of the plane, Naruto was despondent.

"How… how did he make that cloud appear over his head? And why is it raining on him?"

Despite the distance between them, she could still hear the quiet mutterings of "I never got to be Hokage," repeated like a mantra over and over again. If it wasn't for the strange cloud that was pelting the young man with rain, she would have consoled him with a hug. Much like how quickly the blond was depressed, he was back on his feet before she could do much more than contemplate the formation of the strange cloud and why his clothes weren't soaked.

"Oh well. So why did you bring me here, Kagura-chan?"

Raising an eyebrow at the sudden change in demeanor and the intimate suffix appended onto her name, she questioned his sudden cheeriness. "Do you not have any regrets over what has become of your life, Naruto-san?"

"Of course I do," the boisterous blond loudly proclaimed, pointing his index finger at her. "I'll never get to become Hokage. I'll never get to talk to Hinata-chan again! I never got to beat the shit out of Sasuke-teme!" As if the energy was suddenly drained out of him, his head and shoulders drooped. "But… I'm already dead. Crying about it would just be a waste of tears-ttebayo." Suddenly, he looked back up at her, his eyes alight with an inner strength that made her gasp in surprise. "Even though I died before I could accomplish a lot of things, I don't regret the fact that I died."

"What?" Curious, she probed him for answers,"And why is that, Naruto-san?"

Naruto gave her a close eyed smile and a cheesy thumbs up, and, for a split-second, she swore she could see a brilliant gleam on his teeth along with a loud gleam! "Because I died protecting my precious people!"

Stunned by the display and the distant shout of "YOUTH!" that she swore she heard, she gave the only response she was mentally capable of: "Huh?"

Naruto smiled at her, relaxing from the strange pose, his face shockingly relaxed and content for someone who had died with so much he has yet to accomplish. "I died so the people I love could live. I couldn't ask for a better way to go."

Gobsmacked, she could only stare wide-eyed at the smiling blond. "Perhaps this will be easier than I thought it would be."

Smiling amicably at her blond vict- I mean, Chosen One - she broached the topic that has brought them together. "Would you like to be able to save everyone?"

Naruto didn't even have to think about his reply. "Of course!" The bravado and confidence soon gave way to meek acceptance. "Even though I know that it would be impossible, I will do everything I can to save everyone I can."

"Would you be able to kill to protect those you love?"

For once, Naruto hesitated in his answer. Would he be able to take someone's life in order to protect everyone he knew? But if he did, wouldn't it just perpetuate the endless cycle of hatred that has been plaguing the Elemental Nations since time immemorial?

"Yes." The answer was so quiet, that Kagura thought she had imagined it. "If I have to kill in order to protect people I hold dear, then so be it."

Regardless of how he felt about killing, he was more than willing to put them aside for the safety of those precious to him. She had known this, of course, but to hear the honesty and feel the faith and devotion in his words to those he loves... well, it was difficult for her to keep the enigmatic visage of a Highborn.

Walking up to him, she smiled and cupped his cheek, noticing but ignoring the instinctive flinch. "You idiotic, idealistic boy."

Rather than be offended, Naruto gave her his usual foxy smile. "I'll take being an idiot who sticks to my ideals and morals over a hypocritical genius."

She gave another soft giggle. "You really do have a one-track mind. But with your dedication to those you love and your heart of gold, perhaps there is still a chance for you to save everyone."

"What?"

The hope and desperation in his voice made her immortal heart clench uncomfortably. "No wonder Miko-chan loves watching over her little champion. Let's hope she doesn't hate me for the next couple millennium for what I'm going to do," she thought. "Tell me, Naruto Uzumaki, what you would do if you had the chance to save everyone you loved?"

"I would save them!" The cheery bravado was immediately dropped. "But… it's too late now. My life is over, Kagura-chan. I-"

"But what if it's not?"

As soon as the words registered, he stopped and stared at her. "What do you mean? My life is over, end of the road. Time to go to the pure lands or wherever it is I'm supposed to go." Despite how clear his words were, the blush on his cheeks from their proximity was quite telling of his innocence.

"But what if I gave you the chance to do it all over again? To give your life another try? What would you do?" Her words came out in a quiet, taunting whisper.

Gulping nervously at their proximity, Naruto responded, "T-Then I would do everything I can to change the outcome."

She gave him a lopsided smirk. For the first time in his short life and even shorter unlife, Naruto finally understood what it felt like to be eyed like a piece of meat. "Then you'd better make the best of your new life, Naruto Uzumaki." Giving him no time to ponder her words, the goddess pulled him into a kiss.

Whatever thoughts or questions that happened to be going through Naruto's mind at the moment crashed and burned.

She was kissing him.

She was kissing him!

SHE WAS KISSING HIM!

His teenage hormonal spike was curbed by his training as he felt a foreign energy enter his system through the woman's kiss. Before he got the chance to analyze the invasive power signature - read: savour the feeling of her lips - she pulled away, smiling at him.

"A little gift for my champion."

"Champion? Me?"

Any further questioning would have to wait, however, as his world twisted and blurred.

"K-Kagura-chan…"

Falling onto his back with a resounding thud!, the teen stared helplessly at Kagura, who knelt beside him and softly placed his head in her lap.

"Shh. It's alright, Naruto. It's alright. Don't fight it. Just accept it."

Although her words resembled the demented ramblings of a murderous black widow, he could feel no malice nor intent from her words, only comfort and support. Taking her advice to heart, he relaxed and closed his eyes, focusing on the deity's touch as she gently raked her hand through his hair. The sense of vertigo and emptiness slowly faded away as he fell asleep to the goddess's gentle caress and quiet hums. As soon as he fell asleep, his body began dissipating into flecks of light, floating into the ever shifting sky of the realm.

Sitting beneath the dimming lights, Kagura smiled longingly as her champion faded away. Tracing her lips with her fingertips, she blushed as she recalled the 'kiss.' She knew it was supposed to be a way to bestow her gift upon her champion, but she couldn't get the feeling of his lips against hers out of her mind.

"My first kiss…"

As if the multiverse was dead set against her, she felt a spike of Killing Intent (KI) burning a hole in the back of her head. Freezing in place, back rigid in fear, she felt her heart sink as she heard the familiar voice of her elder sister.

"Kagura-chan."

Although the greeting was sweet and innocent, an eternity of interactions and memories told her everything that was wrong with what she heard. Of course, one doesn't need an eternity's worth of interactions to know that KI isn't supposed to be used with sweet tonal inflections.

"M-Miko-nee-chan." Turning her head robotically, she gulped as she stared at her older sister. "W-What a surprise! I didn't expect to see you here."

Red eyes glared at her with malicious intent. If she wasn't immortal, she would have feared for her very existence. Her elder sister, Miko, was practically her twin in terms of appearance, save for the crimson orbs of death that were currently doing their best to stare into her very soul.

"Care to tell me… why you were kissing my champion?"

She could bullshit her way out of this one, right? Right? It was an accident?

…

Oh, who was she kidding? Who the fuck would fall for that?

"Uh… b-because he's… my champion too?" Almost immediately, she regretted her decision to speak the truth. Her sister's hair began levitating, shifting and writhing like the tails of some great predator birthed before the rise of man. Gulping in fear, she backed away from the angry goddess.

"N-Now now, big sis. L-Let's not be hasty. I-I can explain!"

"Explain later. Punishment now."

Kagura only had the time to squeak out in fear before her sister's hair wrapped themselves around the soon-to-be torture victim. Kagura knew she was screwed, but she couldn't keep the feeling of satisfaction from welling up inside her chest.

"At least I got to kiss him first."

Miko froze mid-stride. At that moment, Kagura knew that she fucked up.

"Cheek pinches… are going to be the least of your worries."

"Nee-chan! Please! I didn't mean it!"

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Naruto was no stranger to pain. After all, he did defeat an asshole who actually went by that name. He also took a full-powered Chidori straight through the chest so that was another point of familiarity for him. So when he woke up to the dull, but constant throb of his entire body with every heartbeat, he thought nothing was particularly out of the ordinary. Groaning and sitting up in bed, he held his head as he tried to get his bearings.

"Ugh. What happened? Did Gamakichi drop another sake barrel on me?"

A quiet giggle echoed through his mind. "No, not quite."

That voice! "Kagura-chan?"

"Got it in one, Naruto-kun." If her sister was going to punish her for doing things with her champion, she was going to milk it for all it's worth. Consequences be damned.

"What happened? How are you talking to me?"

"A side effect of becoming my champion. We can speak with each other any time we wish. If you want, you could even come visit me in your mindscape. But before that happens, why don't you take a look around?"

Take a look around? Curious, he complied. Doing his best to push aside the dull throbbing that he felt across his entire body, he opened his eyes and took in his new surroundings. A bed. A bedside drawer. Ramen posters along the walls.

"This- this is my apartment! B-But how? It was destroyed during Pain's Invasion!" Knowing that something was wrong, he stared out his bedroom window at the Hokage Monument. "Hashirama-jiji… Tobirama-jiji… Sandaime-jiji… Tou-chan… But… where's Tsunade-baa-chan? Where am I? This can't be Konoha!"

"Perhaps you would understand this better if you took a look at yourself in the mirror," she suggested.

Doing just that, he threw off the covers and hopped out of bed. For some reason, the world was a lot bigger than he remembered, but in his panic, he ignored the feeling. Slamming the bathroom door open and flicking on the light, he stared into his reflection.

"Kagura-chan? Where am I?"

She giggled. "The question isn't 'where,' Naruto-kun, but 'when.'"