Ironhide looked at the suit, it was hanging in Ratchets diagnostic chamber. He was amazed at the construction work, though it looked like a mangled, twisted mess now; while June Darby looked over Thunder, Ratchet was looking over Ironhide. He glanced over at his daughter. She had a few cuts and bruises from being thrown around but nothing major. Her head was hung lower, she hadn't spoken a word since they return. Ironhide couldn't believe what he had seen, the destruction she had caused…it wasn't like her. What had happened to his little girl while he was being held captive? Had one of these Autobots encouraged her to such a thing or was it purely her? Ironhide felt a shudder run up his spin, she had, had anger issues before but nothing like this. He was startled when Ratchet patted his shoulder,

"You need to rest, and I mean it. Nothing strenuous. You have quite a few internal injuries that need tending too. I will need to put you into a modified stasis to do that."

Ironhide was barely paying attention, he just nodded. His mind still troubled over what Thunder had done. Ratchet walked over to Optimus,

"Optimus, his internal injuries are moderate to severe. To be honest I am surprised he is even alert and functioning. Optimus looked over Ratchets shoulder the mech cracked his neck though the pain could clearly be seen in his eyes, whether that was physical or emotional Optimus couldn't tell.

"I will clear the base of the others, do you require Arcee's assistance?"

Ratchet thought for a moment,

"It would be best to have a second set of hands should I need them."

Optimus nodded then turned to the team, requesting that Bulkhead and Bumblebee take the children away for a few hours and that Arcee remained behind. Thunder looked up through the loose hair that had fallen in front of her face.

"What's going on?"

Ratchet reached over the railing with his hand, Thunder stepped onto it.

"I need to do work on your father, to do that I need to put him into a modified stasis."

He spoke as he walked her over to him,

"It will be a few hours before he wakes up again."

Ironhide reached out his hand as Ratchet tilted his for Thunder to slide into Ironhide's. Thunder kept her head low, he looked down at her.

"Thunder?"

Thunder looked up at him, she felt so shameful as she looked at her father.

"Daddy?"

Ironhide smiled,

"I love you, and I'll see you soon."

His eye twitched slightly as he closed them tightly.

"Father are you ok?"

Ironhide let out a deep breathe.

"I'll be fine."

Thunder had never felt such tension…a rift between them before.

"Love you dad!"

She hugged him before he handed her back to Ratchet who in turn placed her down at Bulkhead so she could climb in. Thunder looked at the mecha suit before climbing inside. Even Ratchet seemed to be distant with her, everyone did. She looked around the car as they drove through the bridge. Miko was in the passenger seat with Jack in the drivers. Raph was in Bumblebee, there was an eerie silence. Thunder shivered you could hear a pin drop.

Miko stared straight ahead, she was so jealous. Thunder had actually taken on cons, Megatron at that. Miko sighed looking over at Jack. Even Jack had seen Megatron, though Jack had spared him while Thunder was seconds away from killing him. She turned in her seat, Thunder looked terrible. Her hair was all over the place, her face was cut and bruised, and she wore an expression that Miko couldn't quite understand.

"Miko sit straight."

Bulkhead reprimanded her, Miko was stunned by his tone. It was almost harsh with her.

"Sorry bulk."

Miko murmured, even Jacks face was one of surprise as he glanced over at her. Miko shrugged with a smirk. What was going on with everyone?

…

Thunder hadn't realized it until they arrived at their destination that even Optimus had left the base and was tagging along behind them. The kids all jumped out, Miko squealing when she saw where they were.

"A BEACH!"

She ran toward the water with Raph and Jack running and laughing after her. Thunder watched them dive into the oceans waves as they splashed down. Jack and Raph were engaged in an all-out sand fight. Thunder just sighed spying a rock a decent distance away from the others. She walked over to it, climbing up, and sitting. She left her mess of hair down, as it blew behind her back. The warm breeze felt good on her skin and the smell of the sea seemed to soothe her as the sound of the waves crashed down.

Bulkhead and Bumblebee had taken a seat in the sand, watching the kids play. Optimus was sitting behind them where the grass met the sand. Truth be told Optimus wasn't a fan of the sand, both planets seemed to be rich with the stuff and he hated how fine it was and it got into places that he didn't even know existed. Plus, the sand was rough on paint and mixed with water was the perfect solution for rust. He took in a deep breath of the sea air; he could feel the tension amongst his team. He had heard Bulkhead snap at Miko, it wasn't like him. He watched the children splashing in the waves, they were smiling and laughing, then his gaze fell over to Thunder. She was sitting on the large rock, her very long brown hair flowed behind her like a flag in the wind.

Optimus pushed himself off the ground, brushing off the sand that had managed to stick to him as he walked over to her. She was zoned out; he spoke softly as to not startle her.

"Thunder?"

Thunder jumped slightly, looking to her right,

"Optimus?"

"Mind if I sit with you?"

Thunder shrugged, looked past him at Bulkhead and Bumblebee, they were intent on watching the children play in the ocean.

"You sure you want to do that sir?"

Optimus smiled sitting on the edge of the rock next to her. He noticed Thunder kept her gaze forward, she would not look at him. Gently and carefully he reached over, using his finger to lift her head to look at him. Thunder felt the tears slip out the corners of her eyes and down her cheeks. It hurt Optimus's spark to see her in such a state. He knew the burden she was now carrying,

"The burden does get easier to bear in time."

Thunder looked at his eyes, his warm metal finger under her chin held her there.

"I don't see how…"

She almost whispered, she took a deep breathe.

"What did I do? I slaughtered them, I just killed them without a second thought. Dozens of them are now dead because of my actions."

More tears fell as her voice shook,

"If you all would have been just 2 minutes later, I would have killed Megatron. I would have done it without a seconds hesitation or thought."

Optimus's facial expression was soft, concerned, but soft as Thunder poured her aching heart out.

"My mind was on one thing, my father and nothing else mattered. Not the consequences of my actions nor how it would affect anyone else."

Her eyes drifted over to the kids and the two bots,

"How it would affect all of you…"

Optimus removed his finger from her chin as she cried softly, her face buried into her arms. She felt like a weight was on her, her mind flashed with the images of the dead vehicon troopers, their screams as she ripped them apart. Megatron… her battle with the warlord and her lust to kill him, to see his optics drain of life. She was disgusted with herself, was this what she truly was?

Optimus laid his hand on her back, she looked at him again wiping the tears from her face.

"Is this what I was always meant to be? A soulless creature, capable of death and destruction? How am I different then Megatron?"

Thunder was shaking now, not in anger of in fear of herself. What would happen the next time she became enraged?

"Thunder, your remorse for your actions proves that you are not a soulless creature, Megatron kills for the pleasure, he destroys anything or one who does not bow to his will. Megatron holds no remorse for his actions."

Thunder didn't feel any better, her heart told her he was right, but her head still told her the opposite.

"How do I move on from this?"

Optimus looked out to the ocean; the waves crashed against the sand before sliding back into the sea. He turned his gaze back to her.

"You must first forgive yourself, then allow others to forgive you. I will not lie to you Thunder; this will follow you the rest of your life. You must learn to bear it and use it as lesson to guide you."

Thunder looked past him,

"I don't think they are ready to forgive me…"

Optimus sighed closing his eyes he took in a deep breathe.

"Thunder, I want you to listen closely."

Thunder looked up at him,

"I too made the same mistake you did. I allowed my anger to guide my actions and others paid the price for it."

Thunder furrowed her eyebrows.

"But you're a Prime, I thought they didn't get enraged? I mean I've seen you angry but enraged?"

Optimus smirked,

"Yes, we do, as others do. Though we are meant to control it, suppress it."

Thunder schoohed closer, interested in this story.

"Shortly after I was made a Prime, I made a grave and costly mistake. We Cybertronians have parents as you earthlings do, they provide the same function and duties."

Thunder felt she knew where this was headed.

"Decepticons had attacked the encampment where my parents were stationed, they destroyed the encampment, and everyone in it."

Thunder laid her hand on the Primes; she could feel it shaking ever so slightly.

"When word reached me of this attack, I set out with a small unit to look for survivors…."

Optimus stopped, breathing in. Thunder could see the pain alight in his eyes.

"We found many bodies that day, though no one was found alive. Towards the end of our search…I found them. They were buried beneath burned, smoldering rubble."

Thunder grabbed his arm, stroking it.

"You don't have to continue on Optimus, I think I know where you are going with this. You wanted revenge for them, and you got it but at a price."

Optimus nodded,

"Many lives were lost do to my lust for revenge, it was then I swore I would never allow revenge to drive my actions."

Optimus's arm was shaking slightly still, she could see his distress at the memory. Gently she stroked his arm, laying her head on it as she tried to comfort him.

Optimus felt his arms and legs shaking, he hadn't thought of that memory is a long time. His spark pounded in his chest. Thunders soothing strokes were actually helping in calming the Prime down.

"How did you get people to…you know not hate you?"

Optimus scooped her up in his hand,

"I admitted my mistake to them, I took responsibly for my error, and ask them to forgive me."

Thunder looked out toward the others,

"I don't know if I have the strength to do that."

Optimus smiled,

"If you had the strength to beat Megatron into submission you surely have the strength for this."

Thunder smiled slightly; she could hear the sarcasm but also the seriousness of that statement. She nodded, something in her felt whole again. Optimus pushed off the rock, walking over with her toward the others. She felt closer to the Prime now, like she knew his spark better and he hers.

Thunder sat on the Primes shoulder, she wasn't interested in getting wet and his words were still sinking in. She wanted to speak to everyone at once, and not have to repeat herself.

Optimus was leaning back, a rather relaxed position that had caused Bulkhead and Bumblebee to glance at each other. He had to smirk, he felt…light if that was the correct term for it. He hadn't told anyone that story, everyone knew it. To actually tell the story to someone who understood him felt like a weight had lifted off his spark.

About 3 hours later, Ratchet commed them that they could come back. Thunder rode inside Optimus this time as they entered the base. He quickly jumped out of his cab and ran to her father, Ratchet lifted her up to him. Thunder gasped slightly as she eyed the fresh weld marks. The spark monitor beeped slowly as his chest raised up and down.

"He should be waking soon, though he will be out of it."

Thunder nodded, sitting next to him and laying her head on his shoulder. She could hear his spark beating as it lured her to sleep.

…

Thunder made her way up the steps, Ironhide had woke up and was recovering, though Ratchet had made it quite clear that he wasn't to move. She took a deep breath, before speaking.

"Everybody I have something to say."

All eyes fell on her, more or less glares. She looked to Ironhide who smiled and nodded. She had told him what she planned to do. She glanced over to Optimus who nodded as well.

"I need to say I am sorry. I'm sorry I put you all in an awkward situation. Bulkhead, Arcee, Bumblebee, Optimus, I'm sorry that I put the four of you in a dangerous situation. I wan angry and I let that drive my actions. I know I hurt each one of you with my actions and I am sorry, I don't expect you to forgive me, but I need to apologize anyway."

Her voice was shaking along with the rest of her body. She was shaking to much to move.

Ironhide was proud of her, he wanted to stand up and hold her, but Ratchet was standing next to him, eyeing him like he knew what Ironhide was thinking.

The others seemed to be thinking, Thunder looked over toward Ironhide he nodded to her beaconing her over. Thunder took a deep breath as she went to him. Ratchet lifted her up,

"For the record, there's nothing to forgive. You made a mistake. It happens to the best of us."

Ratchet placed her down next to Ironhide smiling at her as he turned and walked away. Ironhide smiled as she climbed carefully up on his leg.

"I'm proud of you for admitting your mistake."

Thunder nodded looking out to the others, sighing.

"Not sure they see it that way."

….

Thunder had to return to work, Ironhide was confined to bed for another few weeks meaning she and he lived at the base. Thunder took to using the ground bridge to drive to and fro from her work. On one such day she was caught in traffic due to an accident, her mind began to wonder. Was Megatron still alive? She shook her head, where did that come from…she looked out the window. She did inflict a massive amount of damage to him. But wouldn't the bots know if he was dead? She sighed, why did her father stop her from killing him? Wouldn't that have ended the war? She sighed; it wasn't like on more bots blood on her hands would have matter not after the dozens of vehicons who had met their end by her blade. She must ask him when she returned.

…..

Thunder pulled into the med bay, backing her truck beside the chamber. She hoped out of the truck, Ironhide was playing a card game with Bulkhead. She would ask him later as he seemed preoccupied. She walked up the stairs and up the elevator into her room. She got her shower and changed, hoping that the three would have taken the kids home so she could talk to her father. She peered out the door, Bulkhead was gone, Ironhide was reading a datapad. She made to way to him.

"Dad, can I ask you a question?"

Ironhide placed his datapad down, reaching down to help her up.

"Anything sweetheart."

Thunder took a deep breath, Optimus and Ratchet both seemed engaged in their own thing.

"Why did you stop me from killing Megatron? I mean if I would have killed him wouldn't this war be over?"

Ironhide's face went serious. Optimus glanced over, he had heard the question, now he was curious as to Ironhide's response.

Thunder looked at him,

"I already had dozens of troopers blood on my hands, what would have one more been?"

Ironhide placed his hand on her back.

"And you feel it don't you, you feel the weight of their lives lost hanging over you?"

Thunder nodded sadly,

"Its like a heavy weight, it seems to get easier to carry everyday but it's still there."

Ironhide looked at her, his eyes connecting with her.

"My daughter, I did not let you kill Megatron because I am not willing to allow you to lose your soul to end this war…had you killed him it would not have ended the war anyway. Another would have taken his place."

Thunder tilted her head.

"I think my soul is already lost."

Ironhide shook his head,

"No sweetheart, your soul is not lost because you did not murder the troopers in the way you're thinking. They fought you did they not?"

Thunder nodded,

"When I boarded, they ship they came after me, blasters blazing."

"Then you took them down in self-defense."

Thunder was confused now.

"But me and Megatron were fighting each other, would that not have been self-defense as well?"

Ironhide shook his head,

"You had defeated him, he was down. Defenseless."

Thunder remembered Megatron's battered form pinned to the wall by one of her swords she had driven into his shoulder. The energon puddled beneath him as his optics flickered to stay alive. She lowered her head,

"Had I killed him, that would have been murdering someone who was defenseless."

Ironhide nodded,

"The guilt you feel for murdering in self-defense can't hold a candle to the guilt you would feel had you murdered in cold blood."

Thunder broke down, truly grieving for the first time. Optimus's words echoing in her mind from the beach.

"I'm so sorry I disappointed you father. I never wanted that. I just wanted you back!"

She fell to her knees.

Ironhide felt his spark pang, as he pulled her closer.

"My daughter, look at me."

Thunder looked up through her sobs and tears.

"I love you, you have not disappointed me, nor could you ever. Together we will move past this. I am here for you; I will never leave you."

Thunder cuddled up to his warm neck as he pulled her close, cupping her with his hand. He closed his eyes, feeling her breath as his hand moved up and down. It wasn't long till she had fallen asleep, Ironhide shortly after. Optimus and Ratchet exchanged a look, Optimus was touched by Ironhide's words. He had not thought of it in that way before, though he agreed with him 100%. Though he would not have condoned Thunder killing Megatron he never thought of it in the way Ironhide had described. He walked over to them, Ironhide's chest rising and falling slowly, his hands protectively over Thunder form. Ratchet came next to him,

"He is healing remarkable well."

Optimus nodded, grabbing a blanket and gently placing it over him.

"I am consistently reminded how our races are not so different as first imagined."

Ratchet nodded in agreement.

"I am as well, though they are small, and they hurt and squish easy, they seem to be like us in more ways than one."

Optimus smirked at Ratchets comment as he glanced over at the mecha suit, they were certainly smart as well. Protective of family and friends, he felt in his spark that Earth and Cybertron were more connected then any of them truly knew.