Chapter 1

"Deeks, I can't keep doing this with you. I'm getting so tired of this."

"So am I. I'm wholly and completely in love with you. I love you, but you don't make it easy. I try to get in, break down your walls, but you just relent. You only let me see what you want me to see. We're married, for God's sake! When will you let me in?"

"I don't know. When I'm ready, I guess."

"We've known each other for 13 years, 8 of those years we've be a couple, and 3 of those years we've been married. When are you gonna realize that I love you?"

"I know you love me. I love you."

"Do you? Do you really love me?"

"What the hell kind of question is that? Of course I love you."

"Then why do I feel like I give you 100% of my heart, and you only give me 50 of yours?"

"Because maybe I do."

"Am I missing something here? Is there someone else?"

"Are you asking if I'm cheating on you?"

"Are you?"

"What do you want the answer to be?"

"I want it to be no!"

"Then that's my answer."

"Tell me the truth, Kensi. Are you cheating on me?"

"Yes. I'm cheating on you."

"How could you?"

"I guess I thought marriage was gonna be fun. It was, until you brought up kids again. With Ethan, there is no heavy conversation, no hard, life changing decisions. It's just sex. Good, mind blowing sex."

"Why is it that you keep going back and fourth on kids? You're 35 years old! You're married! Just decide already. It's a simple yes or no question. Do you want kids?"

"No."

"Then maybe I made a mistake marrying you."

"What?"

"I want kids, Kensi. I pretty much always have. I'm 38, and I'm not getting any younger."

"Fine. You want a divorce, then show me the papers."

"You're willing to give up, just like that?"

"You just said this marriage was a mistake. Maybe we can even get an annulment. It'll be like this marriage never happened."

"Now you're just making a joke out of this."

"Because it's funny. It's funny how unfunny this whole situation is."

"I'm being serious, Kensi. I want kids with all my heart. I love you. You are my world, but kids would be my universe. I can't continue to wait for you to be ready. Like I said, I'm not getting any younger. I need to do something with my life right now. Not in 5 years, or 10, but right now."

"Then, we're getting a divorce. I'm not gonna be the reason you're miserable for the rest of your life."

"I'm so sorry."

"So am I."