Disclaimer: I own no rights to Hawaii Five-0 or any of its characters. This is a work of fan fiction and no infringement is intended.

A/N: It seems like I've written nothing but humor and fluff lately, and I was in the middle of writing another "Shirtless Wednesday/Take Your Shirt Off" story when the idea for this story came to me. It definitely doesn't warrant a "humor" tag like most of my others, but it does have a happy ending, so I hope you enjoy it. (McDanno Pre-Slash/First Kiss) The story is finished and I hope to have the 2nd of two chapters up later tonight.

Charlie threw the ball and Eddie chased it across Steve's backyard before bringing it back and dropping it at the boy's feet. As his reward, the dog received praise and a scratch behind the ears. It was a scene that had repeated itself numerous times over the last twenty minutes while Steve and Danny sat a short distance away, shoes off and Longboards in hand.

"I think you should retire."

Danny wasn't sure he heard Steve correctly, but before he could ask him to repeat himself, Steve spoke again. "I'm serious, Danny. I think you should retire. It's time."

Danny turned his gaze away from the game of fetch and looked over at his partner. Steve was staring at the water, but Danny didn't think he was actually seeing it. His jaw was clinched and if he gripped the neck of his beer bottle any tighter, Danny thought it might shatter.

"It's time? What the hell are you talking about, Steven? And, where is this coming from? I mean, was it or was it not you who threw a hissy fit a couple years ago at the mere suggestion that I might want to retire from Five-0 someday?"

Even though Steve was no longer looking out towards the water, he still wouldn't look Danny in the eye. Instead, he stared down at the beer bottle he was holding. "That was before," Steve told him. "But I've been thinking about it a lot lately, and I finally realized how selfish I was being." He shot a brief pleading look at Danny. "I mean, you've got your 'twenty' so you could draw your pension and go do something else. Maybe Kamekona would hire you to work at Steve's. You'd like that since the financial risk and responsibility would be on the big guy this time."

"So, when you said I could 'go do something else,' you meant something safer."

Steve shrugged.

"What did you mean when you said 'that was before' when I asked you about not wanting me to retire back when the topic first came up a couple years ago? Before what?" Danny was pretty sure he already knew the answer, but he thought it would help Steve to voice his grief out loud.

"Before Joe White died in my arms," Steve admitted. "Before my mother was killed right in front of me." Danny saw the tears in Steve's eyes just as his partner looked back towards Charlie and Eddie. Danny followed his gaze. The dog as now on his back and Charlie was giving him what looked to be a vigorous belly rub. The sight must have been enough to allow Steve to get his tears, if not his emotions, under control because he took a deep breath and forged ahead. "I can't lose you too, Danny. I can't. I wouldn't survive."

Danny knew the loss of Joe had hit Steve especially hard, but Doris' death appeared to have affected him even more profoundly. Steve hadn't been able to compartmentalize his grief this time. In the past, when someone close to Steve died a violent death, his partner dealt with his pain by seeking justice. This time though, Steve just seemed like a lost little boy trying unsuccessfully to come to terms with the death of his mother. The only other time Danny had seen Steve act anywhere close to how he was now acting was after Wo Fat had tortured him and Danny had to remind him that his father was dead. Even then, once the cocktail of drugs he had been administered had worn off, Steve's normal bravado had quickly returned. This time was different, and Danny was worried that Steve would spiral into a deep depression that went well beyond the grief of losing a parent.

"Hell, Danny, I didn't even really like Doris, but she was my mom and I loved her. I'd seen her maybe once in the last two years, but I knew that she was out there, and as long as she was alive there was always a chance that we could have a real relationship again one day. That's all I ever wanted from her and now I'll never get it. Losing Joe was hard, Danny, but losing my mom … it was the last straw. I can't lose you too. I can't," he implored. "So, whatever I have to do to make sure you're safe, I'm willing to do it."

Danny tried to see beyond Steve's words to the motivation behind them. Was it just Danny whom Steve wanted to retire, or did he plan to talk to Lou too? What about the rest of team? Did Steve plan to retire as well? Because, dammit, Danny knew that if Steve was ever killed, he'd never get over the loss either.

"Look, Danny, there's nobody I trust more than you and there's nobody I'd rather have as my partner. I think, on some level, I've always felt like as long as we were partners that we could protect each other … that we may end up bloody and bruised, but we'd always survive because we had each other's backs. But, Danny, I can't pretend we're invincible anymore."

The emotion in Steve's voice, and in his eyes, made Danny wish he could give him whatever he wanted, but he knew it wasn't that simple. "Steve, I'm not sure this is the right time to have this discussion." When Steve started to protest, Danny quickly went on, "I'm supposed to drop Charlie back off at Rachel's in an hour. How about I pick us up some dinner and we can talk this through then? Alright? I think we have a lot to talk about."

"You could just agree to retire and then there wouldn't be anything left to talk about."

"Even you know that's not true," Danny told him.

"Yeah," Steve sighed. "I didn't think you'd let me get away with that, but I had to try." Steve once again looked down into his beer bottle, unable to meet Danny's eyes. "You're going to make me talk about my feelings, aren't you?"

Danny reached out and placed a hand on Steve's arm. When Steve finally looked up, Danny's voice was soft, but determined. "I think it's time. Don't you?" The resignation in Steve's eyes almost made Danny relent, but he knew this discussion had been put off for far too long, so instead, he stood up and called to Charlie that it was time to leave. "I'll be back soon, Steve."

Ninety minutes later, Danny entered Steve's unlocked front door carrying an obscene amount of food from their favorite Thai restaurant. He grabbed a couple more beers from the fridge and because he thought Steve would be more comfortable outside, he headed towards the lanai. Just as he was trying to figure out how to open the door with both his hands full, Steve came down the stairs. He took the beers, opened the door, and stepped out onto the lanai. Danny followed him, placed the bags on the table, and started pulling out the takeout containers. They ate in silence as they passed the Red Curry, spicy calamari, and Pad Thai back and forth between them. When they were done, Danny cleaned up, put the leftovers in the refrigerator, grabbed two more beers, and went back outside. Steve had not moved, and he was so lost in thought that he startled when Danny placed a bottle on the table in front of him and sat down.

"You ready to talk?" Danny asked.

"No, but I don't see anyway around it. Not if I'm going to convince you to retire."

TBC shortly