Foreword: Pardon the long wait. WarCraft3 and drawing beckoned to me while sleepovers distracted me from completing this chapter. Lots of love and hugs to my lovely beta-readers Aefallen and Tinted_Glass. ~16.6.03



Revelations 03
Carpe Diem
by Caitlynne

Self expression was not Smith's forte. It was hardly in his nature to express himself, because as an agent in the Matrix, there was no self. At least, not in the later agent templates. He was one of a kind, programmed to be, in many ways, similar to a human. And he soon realised that, like a human, he had an awareness, although he was only a sentient artificially intelligent program to begin with. He hated the word "artificial". It was demeaning, but he was only as real as the world created by the Matrix.

Then came the question: how real was all of this? Was Neo really standing before him? What about the kisses they had exchanged, or the peculiar, tingling sensation in his lower abdomen? Irrelevant, bothersome questions. That he was here- this moment, had to be real to some extent.

It did not compute why the events occurred as they did. His study of humans had revealed that the activity that he and Neo were engaged in earlier was a symbolism of want between two people. He found that to be intriguing, that Neo desired him; that he had, unthinkably, returned the feeling; that he was with the one person, whose "prophesied" path he was supposed to waylay. He had known that males and females copulated to produce offspring, but this was obviously not the reason for their indulgence; certainly not - since he was neither female nor human. He hadn't understood the ties that bind, and he hadn't really cared. He hadn't seen the necessity to figure out the strange reasons for having sex without the intention of starting a family; it was hardly his business. And now...

...And now, here he was, with The One, in his room, doing things he had never envisioned himself attempting. Especially, things that only humans did.

His room temperature was approximately twenty two degees celsius, yet it seemed relatively higher. Not that it mattered. He could feel Neo's breath against his neck, warm and moist against his skin. It was not as repugnant to his senses as he thought it would be. He was barely conscious of the way Neo was gazing at him, nor was he aware that their bodies were so close that they were almost touching each other. Fingers pulled at his collar a little, and when he looked at the human, he saw amusement twinkling in his eyes.

Smith hid his discomfort. "Hadn't expect me to look equally human behind those clothes, Neo?"

"Partly," Neo's thumb pressed at the junction between his neck and his shoulders, then gently drawing circles over the skin. "It's still here."

He had to raise a brow. "What is?"

"Uh, never mind." The human replied distractedly, leaning his head against the wall, letting his hand slide down his chest, against the skin and the fabric of his shirt and paused midwaist. Smith breathed in sharply, feeling his stomach muscles tighten on their own accord.

Control.

It seemed like a difficult task to curb himself under the intensity of which emotions washed over him. Emotions that were foreign to him. Emotions that would be too complex for an AI to comprehend and to program. The only logical reasoning was that Neo had corrupted him somehow when he hacked into his program, leaving some parts of him imprinted onto his code.

Then came the realisation.

It was not the Matrix that made him human; it made him sentient. Neo made him human. Partially, to be exact. After all, he could only exist in the Matrix, right? He had no answers to that.

Smith had to admit, that humans were interesting. Unpredictably interesting, especially this one before him. If he were having all these sensations, feeling this heat, then Neo, would, most undoubtedly, be experiencing the same thing too. He smirked despite himself. It would be fun to see Neo lose control, and perhaps, in the process, he could extinguish this flame within himself.

He recalled some of his study of humans and their erogenous zones, deciding to put them to effect. He moved forward, backing Neo further into the wall, hands holding Neo's wrists and lifting them up above his head as he executed a perfect catch of the human's lips with his own. Neo did not put up much resistance, as if he had been anticipating his moves all along. Passion rekindled, this time burning more fiercely.

Smith used a hand to grip the two wrists, while his other hand reached down to hold the corner of Neo's shirt, tweaking the lines of codes so that it came off easily without him having to take it off the cumbersome way. His free hand then snaked down the bare chest, following what Neo did earlier, causing the latter to gasp into their kiss. He grinned as he twirled a finger around his navel before moving upwards to circle his nipple.

Neo tore his mouth away, drawing short, shallow breaths, moaning as Smith arched his back to attend to the other nipple with his lips and tongue. His study of humans' mating habits seemed to have paid off, but while he was well-informed in this aspect, he lacked the experience. Agents had no use for such knowledge, at least not for themselves. There was a first time for anything, and it was clear that Neo didn't seem to be complaining about that.

Smith knew humans got dirty easily, due to the pores in their skin having to react with the environment to keep their bodies cool. What he hadn't expected was how human skin, in this case - Neo's skin, would taste like. Human filth, he had called it. On the contrary, it tasted slightly saline, bitter and addictive. He trailed down the torso, leaving kisses onto the well-sculpted muscles, both hands on Neo's hips. In human standards, Neo had a rather appealing body, even if it was under wraps most of the time.

He knelt on the floor and paused. Fingers entangled in his hair, fists tightening against his scalp. His head half-tilted; eyes met. Neo's lips were parted, his ragged breathing almost noiseless. Smith's hands were shaking as he reached upwards and slowly unclasped the belt on his pants. Whether they were shaking with anticipation or uncertainty, he wasn't sure. Assistance came in the form of Neo's hands and the belt soon found itself on the carpeted floor with the other articles of clothing.

For a brief moment, Smith wondered why he was doing this. Not what he was doing, but why he was doing it.

The answer lay behind a zipper of someone's pants, and it wasn't a simple one.

Maybe if he did satisfied his urge fast enough, they could get down to talking later, provided they were still coherent after a sensory overload. The zip was not much of a tricky matter; the pants loosened and fell to the floor, and was discarded as quickly as it hit the carpet. Neo lowered himself, his hand holding the back of Smith's neck firmly and his knee pushing against a vulnerable spot, creating an overwhelming sensation that spread like wildfire through his body. Teeth bit skin. Smith growled; something in the back of his mind refused to lose this 'fight' to Neo. Not quite what he had planned, but the sudden shift of dominance relieved him partially.

Neo released the skin as his hands busily fumbled with Smith's own belt and pants. So busy was he that his knee stopped teasing the other. Smith recovered himself, hands placed on Neo's shoulders, promptly turning him to the side and down onto the floor, head narrowly avoiding direct collision with the wall. The human's hands were done with the belt and now, a finger gently ran up his groin, causing him to arch his back away from him.

"We need to even out the odds," Neo said breathlessly.

"Indeed." Smith observed as he unzipped his grey pants with some apprehension in his eyes.

Neo was nervous.

What am I doing?

The rhetorical question haunted his mind. Just as it did when he chose to take the red pill, entering the rabbit hole and going deeper into Wonderland; just like when he refused to assist the agents in the capture of Morpheus, choosing to believe that waking up in a depressing world was better than living in a blissful dream - because a dream wouldn't last forever. He hadn't fully understood what he was up to, before he knew that he was, in fact, The One. But Pandora's box had already been opened and as the Saviour, he had to accept the responsibilities that came as a result of that, without self-doubt.

So, what in Zion was he doing anyway? Fucking with the enemy - how would that save humanity?

No. Smith was no longer his enemy. Doubt coloured his thoughts. Smith, who found sadistic pleasure in seeing him suffer; who had tried to kill him before.

The very same Smith, who was now holding him to the wall; who was now making him more aroused than he thought he could be, licking, nibbling him in a bit of a stiff manner, but arousing nonetheless.

The pressure on his wrists lessened, but Neo was too distracted to notice, keeping his arms above his head as if they were still being held by a phantom hand. It wasn't until he felt cool air against his legs that he discovered that his pants were already gone and the exile... For once he sensed uncertainty in the usually confident Smith. Neo hadn't thought that Smith could be questioning his actions, because that was not what programs did. In cases like this, logic more often than not ceased to exist.

Smith was eye-level to his groin. Hell. Neo wasn't about to submit to him and Smith probably had no idea how to start anyway. So Neo bent his knees, a hand held to the latter's neck to draw his head closer, intending to kiss him but found the bare shoulder to be more alluring.

Let him feel what he felt, he decided wickedly, his knee at a rather strategic position.

However, Smith was still clothed - half-dressed to be exact. And he was already almost naked. He was pushed down, back against the floor, while he removed the belt from the ex-agent's waist. He panted, wondering curiously if his body anatomy was like that of a human's, hence running a finger against there, discovering it to be rigid and bulging slightly.

Then, breathlessly - "We need to even out the odds."

"Indeed."

When they were finally freed of their clothing, their inhibitions went as well when the clothes were tossed to one side of the room; neither cared where they had landed, minds focusing elsewhere, or, to be precise, on each other. Smith was above him and Neo was not about to let that continue. It was like a little game of war they were playing, supremacy over the other, man versus machine, except that this was some erotic kind of fight. And Smith surprised him a lot. He never knew that an agent of the Matrix would know how to do all the things that he was doing now, albeit with machine-like calmness that frustrated him. He needed-

"Fuck," Neo exclaimed, when he seemed to have finally identified what was pressing into his stomach.

An amused smile played on Smith's lips. "An appropriate word."

And he pressed himself harder against Neo.

Then, as a surge of energy rushed through his veins, Neo brought Smith down to his side, using the force of the momentum to get on top of him. He needed him.

The mind makes it real.

Morpheus had said that to him once before, when he failed to make it across in the Jump Program and his mouth bled in the real world.

To hell with complexities; he needed this now and the need wasn't just going to dissipate on its own. If the crew on the Nebuchadnezzar asked him about his irregular heart-rate and- well, he would cross the bridge when he came to it.

Carpe diem.

The scent of sex lingered in the air, a reminder to Neo of what he had just done with Smith. He remained on the floor, eyes opened and staring upwards into space. Now that the excitement had left, all he had were questions. Questions regarding the exile's usefulness to the human resistance and the purpose behind the Oracle asking him to seek him out alone.

Alone?

Did that mean the Oracle had seen this coming?

He glanced to the side.

Smith was picking up his own clothes, not bothering that he was bare-naked. A program from the Matrix wouldn't know about modesty, would it?

That was a good reason for Neo to keep his eyes fixated on the ceiling.

"I hope you're not planning on becoming an ornament here."

Neo sat up, body feeling cold now.

His skin tingled, recalling how Smith's skin was warm, smooth and seemingly flawless, without blemishes or marks - the work of the Matrix. Apparently, the Matrix catered to even the smallest of details on their agents.

"I had thought better of your stamina. However, you being lethargic especially after... that invigorating activity, was definitely unexpected. If it would help, you could dress up and then we could, perhaps, discuss our current situation," Smith interrupted his thoughts crisply, causing Neo to blink out of his reverie and turn his head to where Smith was.

Smith was now dressed in his usual attire, sans sunglasses. He was sitting on the couch, leaning back and hands clasped together on his knees. His steely blue eyes held a steady gaze on him, studying him and Neo couldn't help but feel agitated by the calm composure the ex-agent was exuding. He was acting as though as what they had done just a few moments before had not happened. If Smith was human, he would have thought him to be heartless. But Smith wasn't even human. He was only a sentient program - he could not possibly have a heart. Yet, after what he have had seen so far, surely he must have felt something.

Neo might have found his release, along with guilt and shame. It felt so right at that time. He put on his clothes, painfully trying to push those feelings aside, remembering that he was here for a reason. And how he had deviated from it when he realised that his target was actually Smith himself, unless of course the Oracle had been wrong all along. But then, She would not have meant for them to fuck around, right?

He didn't want to think further along that line. He would have to see Her again.

Neo heaved himself to lean against the wall and stretch out his legs. Regret. He didn't know if that was what he was experiencing at this moment. Only knowing that time would not turn back its wheels for him.

Opening his mouth to speak, he realised he hadn't any idea of what to say. He wasn't a man of many words to begin with. He looked around the room for a clock but found none. What use were clocks to agents anyway? They probably went by program cycles in their internal system clock. He should return to the real world soon, after visiting the Oracle.

He glanced at Smith, who was still regarding him coolly in the same pose.

"Well?"

Should he bring him along to see the Oracle?

"How long has it been since you were dis-"

"-disconnected from the Matrix?" Smith interjected, finishing Neo's question. "When you fragmented my code, some parts of your code somehow prevented me from being automatically deleted by the system. It took me hours, days, weeks to fit myself together again like a jigsaw puzzle, and when I was whole again, there were, I discovered, new pieces that weren't there before. Thanks to you, I suppose you could consider me as being free from the mainframe.

"However, I still require the mainframe to survive, while you do not, and hence, we should still be standing on opposing sides. Interestingly enough, my flaw have decided to make itself known. Yes, Neo, I won't repeat this: I am flawed. I am like your kind now."

"Flaws are just a matter of perception. How would one know what perfection is if there exists no flaw in the world?"

"There is no need for appreciating perfection. If it is there, then it is there. But that's not what you came to talk about, is it, Neo?"

"The Oracle."

Smith smiled thinly. "She is quite a problem to the Matrix."

"You've met her?"

"I have only heard of her. She evades the mainframe quite efficiently, I must say. Have you ever wondered why she knows so much?"

Neo cocked his head slightly. He did wonder about that before. He stood up, followed by Smith.

"It is her purpose, Neo. Purpose. I wonder what yours is in finding me. If it is about me being a boon to your cause, I'm afraid you won't find that here. We're still soldiers fighting a war."

"Caught in between," Neo muttered, eyes briefly seeking for some form of acknowledgement, agreement in the other's eyes. "I should go."

Smith said nothing when he left and Neo was vaguely disappointed. He took the lift to the uppermost floor and then took the stairs to the roof. A chilly wind whipped about him as he walked out of the stairway to the open rooftop. The ground was damp from the rain that ceased not too long ago.

It would be quite a distance to the Oracle's house. He could call Link to prepare a car for him, yet he felt like there might be other ways of getting to his destination.

Free your mind.

In the Matrix, anything was possible. Almost anything, Morpheus had told him. After all, this world was fed to the human mind in the form of electrical impulses, meaning that the brain had the ability to distort and bend the rules of the Matrix to their will.

Yes.

He supposed he could try out his little 'gravitational' theory here and now. He wanted to do this, though he wasn't sure exactly where the idea came from; it was as if something inside of him had been unleashed. Particulary since Smith and him...

He focused, until he levitated off the ground, then flying high, away from the people below as he made his way to the Oracle's house.



~ will be continued... I intend to write the missing NC-17 bit, which I skipped while writing this chapter, so that I could just get this up in ffnet asap. However that part will not be posted here because of the ffnet rules.