A/N: Ahhh, toss a coin to your writer :D Summer, vrskaandrea - I've thought it over, and the sequel is published and ready to read here, on FF ;) All chapters at once :) Here's the link! - s/13474201/1/No-Rest-for-the-Devil

But yes, I'm leaving the site otherwise :). Still, thank you so much for all the support, reviews, favs and follows :)! They ALWAYS made my day :). To the fellow writers - your stories were absolutely lovely and I'll miss them, too!

Thank you so much for your warm welcome here :)! Farewell, my darlings :)! Maybe we'll meet one day again, with a story about the White Wolf and his pet bard :D

Her cry was going to haunt his dreams forever.

Not because it was loud or terrified, but because he had been the one to cause it. When Chloe jumped back, her fingers red and blistering already, it was because of him.

"Bloody hell..." Lucifer moved forward, eyes wide as he tried to grab Chloe's hands to assess the damage. The way she stumbled back so fast, avoiding his touch, was like taking a hit straight to the stomach. "I'm sorry, I—"

"It's not that, Lucifer." Chloe had to move away from everybody now since both Maze and Sam rushed to her in the same way Lucifer had. While she wasn't worried about Lucifer bringing her more pain, she couldn't say the same about other people. The skin on her fingers was swollen and painful to touch even without anyone actually touching it in order to look at her burns, thank you very much. "Your hands are still on fire, that's all. I- I'm fine, no need to apologize."

"Oh…" Lucifer's face fell, but he did make the flames disappear, at least. He was getting quite good at it, she had to admit. Amenadiel squeezed his shoulder, sensing his brother's disappointment in himself. "I can't heal you…"

"Cas can."

Sam shrugged when Lucifer turned to look at him. What? It was true, and the situation was too serious for Lucifer to put his own problems with Castiel above Chloe's needs.

"Can't our red-haired Sabrina do the same, though?"

"Oh, don't look at me, darling." Rowena smiled sweetly at Lucifer from her place at the table. She was sipping tea, the thing she actually had come for – the promise of a lovely time with the demon was just the cherry on top. "I still wish I had a wee occasion to talk to my stubborn Fergus again."

"Chloe?..." Lucifer turned to his Detective, but she already had moved near the sink, putting her hands under a stream of cold water. He opened his mouth again, only to be interrupted by a smack upside the head.

"Stop being such a dumbass," Maze hissed at him, annoyed. "Decker's hurt and you're still here? Go get that other angel, now."

"Yes, I…" Lucifer closed his eyes for a moment. It all was getting too much for him. It was a rollercoaster, and he really, really needed a breather to just… deal with years of being trapped in the Cage and… with everything else he didn't want to think about. "I'll go."

"No. I'll go, Luci." Amenadiel wasn't sure what had happened between this world's angel and his brother, but it was obvious that Lucifer wasn't in the best state of mind right now. Putting even more pressure on him wouldn't help anyone. "You stay here and take care of Chloe." And with that, he was gone.

XXX

"He just… practically pushed me out of the room." Castiel frowned after he finished describing the whole experience to Dean. The hunter was in bed, healed, yes, but too smart to leave his hideaway with that crazy demon girl still in the bunker. Jeez, he knew now that he shouldn't have thrown Lucifer into the Cage, but maybe throwing him out of a window and breaking his leg for it was taking it a tad too far? "Why?"

"How would I know?" Dean shrugged. Seriously, he had called Lucifer Family-Drama once, and he still thought it was the most accurate nickname for the Devil. "Did he say anything else?"

"He, um." Castiel cleared his throat, looking away for a moment. His cheeks looked weirdly red – or was it just the light? "He, err, said…"

"What did he say, Cas?..."

"He said… to tell you… the truth." Cas considered telling Dean about the hug for a moment, but then decided against it. Alright, he had nothing to lose.

Well, except for his home, his friendship with Dean, his—

"What truth?"

"ThatIloveyou."

And now it was out in the open.

Dean was staring at the anxious angel, not knowing if he should laugh – because he was both shocked and happy, obviously, although he doubted Cas would interpret it as such - or just pull that almost literal baby in a trench coat into a kiss.

"Cas," he started at the same moment that the door opened. "Are you for fucking real, dude?"

"You don't have to be rude about it." Castiel mustered as much of his dignity as he could, making Dean hide his face in his hands and groan miserably. "I understand if… if you don't feel the same."

"I think he said that to me." Amenadiel walked up to them, trying to maintain a serious look and keep his smile under control. Luci's mischievousness has been rubbing off on him, it seemed. "I come with a matter of utmost importance, though."

"Hold on a minute, would you?" Dean took a deep breath. Why. Why was his life like this? "I need to say something to Cas first before you drag him away so our two butthurt teddy bears can hug it out, okay?"

"Yes?" Cas still looked pretty guarded. Dean sighed, his mind flashing back to the moment when Lucifer had asked him what did he truly desire. And… it was this, now.

"I, well, too." He coughed, uncomfortable. Son of a bitch, his face was burning.

"You what, too?"

"I think he's trying to say he loves you, too," Amenadiel interjected, helpful as always. "Chloe's hurt. Will you come with me now?"

"Friggin' seriously?" Dean muttered under his breath, but Cas took his hand and squeezed. When the hunter looked up, Castiel wore the brightest smile possible on his face. "Right, right. Don't be too happy about it, okay?"

"Dean."

"Alright. Be as happy as you want, I'm not stopping you." Dean rolled his eyes, yet grinned as well, unable to stop himself. His face was still pretty red. "Now go heal Decker before Lucifer destroys the bunker in panic or worse. We'll finish… it… later, after they leave." He glared at Amenadiel who appeared as innocent as he could get.

"We definitely will," Cas agreed. He stood up to leave with Amenadiel, but still not without one last smile sent Dean's way. Amenadiel watched them with amusement, yet when they were out in the hall, his face became much more serious.

"What is it between you and Luci?"

Castiel's mood worsened almost immediately.

"I… am not sure, exactly. I both apologized and thanked him for everything, but he… in one second, he was challenging me to punish him, then in the next – he couldn't get away from me fast enough."

Lucifer challenging people to hurt him in moments like these was to be expected. Amenadiel sighed, remembering their own fight—fights, fine – or even the time he had to rescue Lucifer from getting shot and killed by that young, nervous, admittedly very trigger-happy police officer. Because of course Lucifer had to raise his voice and pretend he had a gun while taunting the man.

He also remembered Lucifer grieving after Uriel's death.

"Alright. It's okay, we'll find out why he did that." Amenadiel nodded, calm and reassuring. He wasn't sure why Lucifer cared so much about this other angel – since Castiel was from another universe and wasn't really their family – but he'd support his brother no matter what.

Well. At least now. That's why he prided himself in his growth, and that's why Lucifer no longer tried to push him away. He'd done that in the past, yes, but it had been after Amenadiel's loud admission that him getting closer to Lucifer had been also him trying to pass their Father's test.

"I was trying to convince him that he needed to forgive himself for killing Michael," Castiel said slowly, thinking. "I gave him some examples from my own life, too. There was a time when I went on a killing spree... I'm not proud of that."

Amenadiel frowned. "How many angels?"

"Too many." Castiel admitted, voice a tad quieter, and suddenly everything became clear.

"So that's why. Luci wants nothing more than to be accepted by his family, yet we all keep shunning him." Amenadiel coughed, awkward. "They. They all keep. Moving on. Because of that, he also excels at purposefully pushing people away, pretending it's his choice to be left out, not theirs."

"He's pushing me away?"

"Yes, but not because you pushed him away first. This time, I think it's because what you said. That you killed many… many, many, many other angels. And, as I said, family is really important to Lucifer, no matter how well he hides that fact."

"Not that many." Castiel said dryly. "I'm not some angelic serial killer."

"It sounds like you are." Amenadiel patted Castiel's back. He was pretty indifferent to the whole situation. To paraphrase slightly, not his universe, not his angels. "But worry not. I'm sure you only have to explain yourself to Luci properly, and all will be forgiven."

Castiel had his doubts about it, especially if Lucifer thought him a mass murderer, but there was something else that caught his attention.

"You seem to be very sure of that."

"He forgave me for hiring someone to kill him." Amenadiel shrugged. He didn't notice the horrified look Castiel gave him while he reached for the handle to push the door open. "We're here. Thank you for your service, Castiel."

XXX

Lucifer was sitting at the table next to Chloe, unusually quiet. Maze and Rowena had gone off somewhere (or rather, he knew very well where they had disappeared to, just decided not to acknowledge it), Sam had left to fetch something (babbling some nonsense about a thank-you gift, truly ridiculous) and here he was, the Lord of Hell and the King of Hellfire, fidgeting with his sleeves like a nervous teenager. The shirt he had borrowed from Sam had no cufflinks, after all, and the sleeves were, well, too long for him. Chloe personally thought it made Lucifer look particularly adorable, but she knew better than to say it out loud and receive an affronted "How dare you?" for a response.

"It's really okay, Lucifer," Chloe tried again instead, keeping her voice soft. "It was an accident."

"Right. Your fault." Lucifer nodded, although he didn't sound as convinced as he usually would have. He probably was still blaming himself. "You were playing with fire, after all."

"That I was." She saw no harm in agreeing. "Will you tell me what happened with Castiel?"

"We have different priorities, that's all."

"That's all." It was clear that Chloe didn't really believed him. And neither did Cas who just walked in.

"We don't have different priorities, Lucifer," he said slowly, bracing himself for Lucifer's anger. "Yes, I've killed people who didn't deserve it... my friends– I've killed people I loved. That's all true and I understand why you try so hard to push me away. I deserve that."

"Oh well, another speech, can't wait to hear it," Lucifer drawled out, voice dripping with sarcasm. "Can you hurry up, though? The Detective needs medical assistance, and it's rather pressing."

"It's not that pressing." Her hands hardly hurt now, and to be honest, Chloe would much rather have Castiel and Lucifer made up with each other, than to be healed right this minute. After all, she appreciated her mental peace much more than just physical health. "You can talk first."

"It takes only a second." Castiel walked up to Chloe and pressed two fingers to her forehead while closing his own eyes. And, just like that, she was fine again.

"Wow," Decker breathed out, impressed, as she tried clenching and unclenching her hands. Nothing hurt anymore, and the skin wasn't even red. It was like nothing had even happened. "That's a pretty neat trick."

"Thank you."

"Clap clap. Now off you go." Lucifer tried shooing Castiel away, but to no avail; the other angel didn't even budge. "...oh bugger, the speech is still on?"

"Yes, it very much is." Cas frowned. "You have to understand, I didn't act out of my own free will. When I went on a killing spree, it was because I absorbed the souls of Purgatory. It changed me. Mutated me. Made me… well, in our Father's image. I killed angels and people acting against my will. When I betrayed Dean, it was because Naomi brainwashed me. Made me kill him over and over again, then sent me after the real one." Cas swallowed at the painful memory. "Lucifer, I know family is important to you, but angels of this universe aren't… good. They kill people. They use them. They use and hurt each other. They wanted to start an apocalypse. More often than not, I acted either in self-defense or to protect Sam and Dean. And it still killed me on the inside."

Lucifer tilted his head. He barely noticed Amenadiel coming in with Maze by his side – who, to say it lightly, sported both a massive bed head and a wide grin. Because what Cas was saying…

"You were made into a weapon against your will."

Castiel thought that it was a very generous way of describing it, and also weirdly aligned with Lucifer's own experience, but – since he really wanted Lucifer to forgive him – he decided against explaining it further. How was it…? Right, speech is silver, but silence is golden.

"You could say that."

Lucifer let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. Cas wasn't evil, wasn't a murderer, he was still his brother.

"Fine, we can say our goodbye before I leave." Lucifer allowed with a small smirk, his muscles relaxing. "You can even pat my back if you're all touchy-feely like our hand-on-the-shoulder happy Amenadiel over here."

Cas blinked, taken aback.

"Wait, you weren't going to say goodbye before?"

"Weeeeell…" Lucifer coughed, uncomfortable, before spotting Sam coming in with a book. "Look! My favorite hunter is here, and with a… book? Is it at least written in English? Because while yes, I am a master of all things tongue-related," he pushed his tongue against the inside of his cheek, making everybody groan. "It's more about sex and pillow talk. Not about reading, Dad forbid."

Sam sighed, smiling nonetheless as he presented Lucifer with the gift.

"It's in English. It's about our universe, the angels here, and well, your powers. We did a research on you in your early days here, and this, um, this book was the most useful of them all. So if you wanted to learn more about your family here, or about yourself…" The young hunter cleared his throat, awkward. "Here you go."

Lucifer took it automatically, but it was evident that he was surprised. Not because of the content of the book, but because someone actually thought about him and took what he might like into consideration.

"Lucifer… what do we say when someone gives us something?" Chloe prompted him, grinning.

"Thank you." Lucifer said out of instinct, then spluttered the second he realized what she'd done. "I'm not your offspring, Detective!"

"Someone could argue with that."

"Someone should think twice about arguing if they want to keep their limbs still attached to their body." Lucifer stood up and looked around the room, taking in all the friendly faces. "So I guess… this is goodbye, then."

"Finally," Maze muttered under her breath, causing Amenadiel to shush her. They watched Lucifer shake Sam's hand, exchange a few words with Rowena who had managed to get here on time, and try to shake Castiel's hand as well, only to be hugged instead. "Awww, look at him, he's so embarrassed it's entertaining. Reminds me of some hell loops."

Then Lucifer's own hands were on fire again.

And just like that, he cut the world open.

"Home, sweet home," Lucifer said quietly, because it suddenly was hard for him to breathe properly. "Tell me, did you miss me?"

When he took a step forward, it was like falling head first into a void.

XXX

Linda was sitting at her desk, sipping coffee and flipping through some papers. She still needed to write down her notes on the latest patient, but it didn't mean she actually was eager to do it. Not to mention that when Amenadiel had returned home last night (after being gone for like three days straight and scaring her to death because of that; and yes, he was going to pay for her hairdresser next time, she had found two more silver strands this morning!), he mentioned that Lucifer might be popping over to see her. Apparently he'd been through some serious trauma and needed her help to deal with it properly.

"Poor Lucifer…" The doctor sighed to herself, too busy with the paperwork to hear the door opening quietly.

"Ah, yes, speak of the me." The Devil stuck his head through the door with a sheepish smile on his face. "Hello, doctor."

Linda jumped in her chair, startled, and pressed her hand to the chest, eyes wide. She was going to have a heart attack one of these days.

"Lucifer!"

"I thought we already established that yes, this is me, hi," Lucifer greeted her again, already making his way to the couch, with absolutely no regards for Linda's lunch break. She wasn't… she wasn't surprised, not at this point. "Can we start our session now?"

"We don't have a session right now, Lucifer." Linda cleared her throat. She put her hands on the desk, palms pressed flat to the surface, willing herself to behave calmly. "Why don't you book one first?"

"Hard to book anything from another universe." Lucifer smiled at her while he grabbed a handful of jelly beans, although there was no usual cheerfulness in that smile. It was like he was going through the motions. "Can you make an exception this time, doctor? Please?" He added please almost like a magic word, with boyish charm and all.

Linda looked at Lucifer with barely hidden sympathy in her kind eyes, reminded of the time he admitted his hatred for himself. Somehow it felt like there was even more to unpack, now.

"Okay." Linda nodded slowly, and Lucifer's face lit up. "Okay. Tell me what happened. You said something about another universe. So— we have parallel universes now? Is that a thing?"

"Wish it wasn't." Lucifer shrugged as he popped one gummy bear into his mouth. "But yes, and apparently dear old Dad is a struggling writer. And repetitive, too, I mean… kicking me out of Heaven in every single one of His stories?" Lucifer rolled his eyes. "I think He really hates me. But honestly, doctor, what's to hate here?" He motioned to himself. "I'm perfect!"

"Why do you think God hates you?" Linda decided to ignore Lucifer's attempt at avoiding the subject. She assumed that maybe he had met another version of himself or heard about his counterpart's fate. She wasn't prepared to see raw pain in Lucifer's brown, entirely too human eyes.

"I don't know, doctor," he drawled out, "but maybe the fact that He ripped out my wings to remind me of my place, sent me a vision of the Detective with her throat cut open as a warning, made me kneel and thank Him for not killing me, took away my freedom, humiliated me, broke my spine, and killed me…"

"Whoa!" Linda's eyes grew wide. "Your Father killed you? Is that a- a metaphor or something?"

"Oh no, quite literally." Lucifer grinned. "My aunt brought my back to life and fixed my body, improving it without my consent. She made me into a weapon." He added with a grimace twisting his lips. "So much for deciding myself who I am or want to be."

"You still can decide who you are, Lucifer. It's not how you're made – it's what you do with that, how you behave, how you choose your actions," Linda told him gently, trying not to focus on the fact that Lucifer apparently had an aunt now. "Your aunt can't make these decisions for you."

"Decisions like using my new abilities to imprison my Dad? To kill my brother?" Lucifer asked bitterly. "To be the worst family member to ever exist? Because here I am, a killer, walking the earth?"

Linda held up her hand, confused. It was way too much too fast for her to process.

"Slow down, Lucifer. Are we talking about Uriel again?"

"No, doctor, keep up! See, I killed yet another one of my siblings. This time it was Michael. Yes, yes, the Archangel Michael, Warrior against All Evil, Voice of God, et cetera, et cetera." Lucifer pointed to himself. "Oh, and I'm All Evil, of course. I mean, I don't think that, not anymore, I had some kind of epiphany while I was tortured—are you proud of me?" He smiled again, hopeful. Linda nodded, too stunned to form actual words. Lucifer had been… tortured? "But Michael thought that I was and he tried very hard – like, seriously, A+ for effort here – to reform me."

"He tortured you…?"

"Fun times, I know."

"Lucifer, that's… How long?"

"Seven years."

Linda couldn't help herself – she covered her mouth in horror. So when Amenadiel had told her about the trauma… It was even worse than she had originally thought. But Lucifer was sitting here, trying his best to smile normally, act normally, how was it even possible?

"Lucifer…" she started softly. "You're remarkably strong. If I am to be honest, you're the strongest person I know."

"Ooh, compliments! I like that, doctor, keep going."

"No, Lucifer, I'm serious. Many people would break – and quite understandably – after living through such an experience. Quite a literal hell, actually. It would took them years to be able to act like you do, right now."

Lucifer looked away from her honest face, his own grim.

"Stop."

"You need to realize your own strength, Lucifer. Embrace it and use it to move forward."

"I don't deserve to move forward!" Lucifer sprang up from his seat, eyes burning like a thousand flames and teeth bared. Linda held her breath instinctively, hoping that maybe this time Lucifer wouldn't punch the wall. Fixing it cost her. "Didn't you hear me? I locked dear old Dad away! For eternity! I killed Michael!"

"Why?"

It was a simple question, but it made Lucifer deflate ever so slightly.

"Why what?"

"Why did you imprison your Father? Was it because He hurt you?" Linda leaned forward. She kept her voice steady.

"What? No… It was because He wanted both to end the other world and to take the Detective's life…"

"Good. Why did you kill your brother? Was it because he hurt you?" she repeated.

"Where are you going with these questions?" Lucifer narrowed his eyes, yet sat down again, uncomfortable and distrustful. "He was moments away from killing the Detective, the Winchesters, and another one of my brothers. I tried to convince him to stop and leave, but he didn't listen to me."

"Don't you see, Lucifer?" Linda spread her arms with a smile on her face. "You haven't done any of this for your own benefit or out of revenge. Any – and it would be normal if you actually did. But you were selfless. Don't you see?" She said once again. "That's growth, Lucifer. That's bravery."

"What?"

"You, Lucifer Morningstar, saved both the world and the people under your protection," Linda said slowly, making sure Lucifer would understand how incredible it was. "It wasn't easy, of course not, and it cost you dearly, but this is what being brave takes. What doing the right thing takes. It hurts you, takes a part of your soul, demands sacrifice – but it saves lives. You're more than just brave, Lucifer. Your heart is in the right place."

Lucifer didn't say anything, instead just watching Linda with almost laser-like focus. There was something in his eyes – something that yearned for so long to hear those words – that it broke Linda's heart, reminding her of an abandoned child seeking both acceptance of him and absolution for his sins. It also made her feel so proud of Lucifer. Because he just took the first step in learning how to forgive himself: he gave himself permission to recognize and accept that maybe what he'd done was necessary and for the greater good.

And, if she could give her own opinion on the matter, it was also goddamn heroic.

But that didn't mean her job here was done. No, it was just the beginning, because she wouldn't be surprised if Lucifer – for all his strength – still battled some symptoms of posttraumatic stress disorder. It was her role here to help him win.

And, well, after all of this, his trust issues probably had trust issues, too. Another thing to work on.

"Can I have another jelly bean?" Lucifer finally smiled, voice just a bit lighter, just a bit more carefree, and Linda nodded, smiling back.

"Have as many as you want, Lucifer. I mostly buy them for you, you know."

XXX

Lucifer was sitting at the piano.

If he was being honest with himself, he missed this the most. This. People watching him with smiles on their faces, enjoying his music, not expecting anything more from him than just a good show. He drank in their attention, feeling stronger with every passing second, feeling more and more at home, at ease.

LUX was his home. And his family was here, too. He could see Maze's dark, dangerous eyes even from here, just as well as Amenadiel's hand holding a cosmopolitan drink – seriously, Lucifer was the only one with taste in the family. He even saw young Beatrice standing between the angel and the demon, grinning at him with the sheer excitement only a child could muster.

"Why so quiet?" Chloe bumped his shoulder with her own, amusement coloring her voice. She was sitting next to him on the bench, taking her rightful place as his queen. "Start playing, mister, your audience is waiting."

And so Lucifer grinned – happy and free at least – as his fingers began their dance, weaving together the melody of the one song that described him the best.

"You could never know what it's like, your blood like winter freezes just like ice
And there's a cold lonely light that shines from you
You'll wind up like the wreck you hide behind that mask you use
And did you think this fool could never win
Well look at me, I'm coming back again."

Chloe squeezed Lucifer's arm. Yeah. Yeah, her Devil was still standing better than he ever did, looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid.

XXX

And if there was another face in the crowd, not unlike Lucifer's own, watching him play and lose himself in music from afar, because there finally was no God to forbid him from coming here to see his brother… well, it was nobody's business.