The Long Way

Dr. Spencer Reid looked out the window of his office at Georgetown University, the campus was alive with excitement, after a quiet summer students were returning. He reached into the pocket of his jacket and pulled out the letter that he had been carrying around for two weeks, reading it again.

Dear Spence,

I know it's been awhile, too long really but I wanted to let you know that Henry is has been accepted to Georgetown. We are going to be there from August 20th-25th getting him settled and I would really like to see you Spence, like I said, it's been too long. We will be staying with Emily, so you know where to find me, please at least consider it.

JJ

Seven years, it had been seven years since he had seen her, or the boys, since the day that he told her she had to go to New Orleans with Will. That he would not be the reason that her family fell apart. He lost track of time as he stood there thinking about her, the late summer sun was setting over campus it was August 24th which meant she would be leaving to go back to New Orleans in the morning. Henry was already checked into his dorm room so she, Will, and Michael would leave in the morning. He had already promised himself that he would check on Henry in a day or two and make sure that he was settling in all right. He was after all still the boy's Godfather.

He circled the block outside of Emily's house for fifteen minutes before parking outside of it. He had been sitting in his car for another fifteen minutes before he heard the buzz of his phone.

The neighbors are going to think I'm being stalked, just come inside.

Spencer smiled at Emily's text he was glad despite everything they had remained friends. She had begged him not to leave the BAU offered him more time to teach, told him he could stay in DC and not travel, but it was just too much, he too needed a fresh start. Then when she received her promotion and Rossi retired he knew that he made the right decision.

"Spencer!" She greeted him warmly with a hug.

"Director Prentis." He said with a smile.

"Stop that." She laughed pushing him on the arm, "Come on everyone is in the kitchen Rossi is cooking."

Spencer followed behind her the sounds of laughter reaching his ears, the kitchen was packed with his former team and their significant others. He did not have to scan the room long before his eyes rested on her, somehow seven years older but exactly the same. Hell, she looked exactly the same as she did over twenty years ago when they first met. She must have felt her gaze because she momentarily froze in her conversation with Penelope and Luke. He watched as she tucked her hair behind her ear and turned slowly to face him.

"Spence" She said softly as she turned.

"JJ" He said and could not stop the soft smile he felt cross his face as they moved to embrace each other.

"Where is the rest of the family?" he asked her looking around not spotting Will or the boys.

"Henry and I are the only ones who made the trip and he's already settled in and making friends on campus." She told him.

"He made a great choice with Georgetown." Spence said proudly.

"I think D.C. has been calling him home since the day we left." She admitted, "New Orleans was never the place for him." Spence noticed a catch in her voice and wondered if it had not been the place for her either.

"Dinner is served." Rossi announced indicating for them to file into Emily's dining room. Dinner was relaxed and comfortable as they laughed about old times. Spence felt the pain of regret of turning down so many invitations over the years. He had missed these people and he should not have let the pain he felt over losing JJ cause him to push them slowly away. Dinner ended and people were saying their goodbyes when he felt her hand on his arm.

"Spence, could we have breakfast tomorrow before I fly back, please? I really need to talk to you." She asked, her eyes pleading.

Spence nodded knowing that their breakfast was seven years overdue, "Why don't you just come to my place? Eight tomorrow morning?" He asked.

"I'll see you then." She said with a smile that Spence couldn't help but notice contained more than a hint of nervousness.

Spencer tossed and tuned in bed that night, why had he suggested that she come here? This was the last place they had seen each other, on that morning seven years ago. When he had insisted that she go, that her boys needed a family. He knew what it was like to grown up without a father and he would not be the reason that her boys grew up without theirs.

Seven Years Earlier

The knocking on his door jolted Spence alert, he realized he had been on the same page for several minutes as his mind had been wandering. Wandering of course to her, to the way she had looked in that red dress at Rossi's wedding, how small and scared she had looked when she said that she loved him. In all of the times that he had imagined her saying those words it had never been like that. He rubbed his face trying to clear her from his thoughts. Then he heard her voice piercing the silence of his apartment.

"Spence? Are you home? Answer the door please." She called her voice again sounding small and scared.

He dropped the book on the table and quickly made his way to the door, "JJ is everything…" He stopped at the sight of her stopped him from finishing his question because clearly everything was not all right. She was still dressed in her red dress from the wedding, but her eyes were puffy and red and her makeup that had been so perfectly fine earlier had now been washed with tears, her hair and dress were both soaked from the storm that had passed through recently. "JJ what's wrong? What happened?" He asked stepping aside so she could enter the apartment.

"Will has been offered the Chief of Detectives position back in New Orleans."

"What?" Spence asked in disbelief, "He's not considering taking it?" He asked but looking at her he already knew the answer, she wouldn't be standing here like this if he had simply turned the position down.

"He's already accepted the position, before he even told me that they had offered it him. He says I make career decisions without consulting him all of the time." She answered. "What am I supposed to do?"

Spence stared at her blankly for a minute, "It's not my place to tell you what to do JJ, this is your family."

"Truth or dare" She asked him and he took a deep breath before answering.

"Truth" He breathed out.

"Do you love me?" She asked.

"Completely" He answered without hesitation. "Truth or Dare?"

"Truth" She said again.

"Do you still love Will?" He asked afraid to hear the answer.

"Spence, I have two children with him, he's a good man, who has given up a lot for me and our family, I guess I will always love him."

"Then you have your answer JJ." He told her fighting back his own emotions.

"But what about us Spence, what about what we could have?" she asked him.

"JJ, if there is a chance that you can be happy with Will, that your family can stay together, I won't be the person who stands in the way of that. I won't do that to Henry and Michael." He told her.

"I love you Spencer Reid and I have for most of my adult life that should count for something." She said the tears now falling freely.

"JJ, it does count, I know that you love me, I always have, I have also always known that for a variety of reasons it wouldn't work between us." He said as he moved to embrace her. "I will never not love you JJ, you can be in New Orleans with Will and the boys and I can be here, and maybe one day I will find someone else too, but I will still love you."

Her head was buried in his chest and her tears were beginning to soak his shirt as he ran his fingers through her hair.

"But, things don't go well when we split up." She reminded him.

Spence let out a small laugh, "No, historically they haven't but maybe it's time we learn how to stand on our own, or to lean on others." He said.

She pulled back from his arms enough to look at him, "So this is it then?" She asked.

He studied her face and felt fifteen years' worth of desire began to overcome fifteen years of self-control at the thought of losing her. 'We could have tonight, just tonight." He said before he could stop himself. The words had barely crossed his lips when hers were pressed against his.

After several minutes of kissing he pulled back from her breathlessly, "Just tonight JJ, you have to promise me that tomorrow you will get up and tell Will that you are going to New Orleans with him."

She nodded equally breathless, "I promise" she said before kissing him again.

They left nothing unsaid that night both in their words and love making. The next morning Spence helped her back into her dress and brushed her hair from her face as he kissed her one last time. "Be Happy, JJ, tell the boys that I love them," were the last words he had said before she walked out his door.

He had called Emily later that day and told her he was taking two weeks off to visit his mom, he knew he had to put space between them. When he returned she was gone, she tried to call him several times over the next couple of months but he never answered or retuned her calls. He was afraid that if he did he would beg her to come back. The calls stopped for several months, then on New Year's Eve she called again. She said she it was the last call if she did not hear back from him, but she really wanted to hear back from him, that it was important. Spence assumed like himself the holidays had her emotions in turmoil and did not call her back. Sitting alone in his apartment his resolved to move on with his life in the New Year.

At exactly eight the next morning Spence heard the knock on his door he took a breath as he opened it, "Hi" he said nervously stepping aside to let her in.

JJ smiled as she looked around his apartment, "It hasn't changed a bit." She said dropping her purse on his couch.

Spence shrugged slightly, "There are more books." He laughed, "Can I get you some coffee?"

"Yes, please." She answered, when he returned moments later she smiled at the taste of it, eight years later and he still knew exactly how to make her coffee.

"How is everything?" He asked her as they sat down on the couch.

"I'm coming back to D.C. Spence, I'll be back at the BAU, actually I will be co unit chief of the BAU with Luke, there will be two full teams, he is leading one and I am leading the other."

Spence stared at her for a moment in disbelief, "What about Will? What about his position with New Orleans PD?"

JJ took a long deep breath, "Spence, Will and I have been divorced for several years now."

His disbelief tuned into shock, "Nobody ever told me…you never told me."

"Spence, you made it clear when I left what you wanted." She said a mixture of hurt and anger in her voice.

"Because, I wanted you and Will to make it work, I wanted to boys to have a family." He said still trying to process everything. "If I had known…"

"If you had known what Spence? That you didn't need to fight for me? That it would be less complicated? I tried calling you over and over, I left you message after message and you would never call me back. I needed you more than you can imagine when I left and you acted like I was nothing."

"JJ we agreed." He answered feebly.

Instantly JJ's face filled with ager and tears began to streak down her face. "No, Spence you decided what you thought was best, in the same way Will decided he was moving back to New Orleans, nobody ever asked me what I thought was best." She paused for a moment, "even still, when I found out I tried to call you, months later when she was here I tried to call you, but you rejected me every single time. When I needed you the most you rejected me."

Spence stared at he in complete confusion, "JJ what are you talking about? I was not rejecting you. When who was here?

JJ wiped the tears from her face, reached into her purse and pulled out a picture and handed it to him. It was a young girl probably about six dressed for what looked to be her first day of school. She had JJ's long blonde hair and heart shaped face, in fact she looked almost exactly like pictures of JJ that he had seen at that age. Then something caught his attention, he looked at the girl again, it was her eyes. JJ's eyes were steely gray blue and shaped like almonds, this girls eyes were rounder, larger and brown. A jolt of electricity shot through Spence, as he pictured Will instantly saw his eyes were similar in color to JJ's.

"You see it don't you? It's her eyes." JJ said softly.

"JJ, who is this?" He asked her his voice barely audible.

"That is Rosslyn Diana, she will be seven years old on New Year's Eve, and yes, she is your daughter." JJ answered her voice calm as if this was a statement she had been rehearsing for weeks.

"My daughter? How could you never tell me?" He asked his shock giving way to anger.

JJ blinked now her turn to stare at him in disbelief, "How many times did I call you Spencer? I begged you to call me. Sitting in my bathroom with a pregnancy test in hand I called you. In my car leaving the doctor's office after hearing her heartbeat this first time, I called you. New Year's Eve holding her alone in the hospital I called you! Not one time did you call me back!" Her voice was shaking with anger and she paused and she tried to regain some composure but the memoires were too much. 'How exactly did you want me to tell you? Should I have said it in a voicemail, maybe a postcard? Hey Spence I know you want nothing to do with me but we made the most beautiful baby girl in the world together, she's got your eyes, I'm naming her after my sister and your mother."

"If I had known…" He started, "I would have done whatever it took to be part of her life. JJ you know how much I wanted children. You kept her from me."

"You kept yourself from her Spencer, from me, from the boys, from complications. All you had to do was pick up the damn phone Spence but you were too afraid of complicating all of our lives, so you acted like what we had was nothing." JJ said tears falling once again from her eyes.

Spence did not argue with her, he couldn't because he knew she was right, he just stared in silence at the picture of the girl in his hand. No, not the girl, his girl, his daughter. "Rosslyn Diana," he finally said.

"Rose." JJ responded, "She goes by Rose, Michael came up with it."

"Rose." Spencer repeated

"Well, like I said, I'm moving back to D.C., Michael, Rose and I." She started and then paused and stammered slightly "I guess what I am trying to ask is if you think you want to be a part of her life?"

TBC