A/N: Thank you to everyone reading along. This is part of the "When All Is Lost Series". My collaborator is not on FFN, so if you are looking for all the stories in chronological order you can find them here on A03.

And thank you Scars of the Moon for your kind review! I appreciate it!

They stood there, completely still and utterly silent for several heart beats. Then Iduna watched as slowly, very slowly, with his hand still outstretched, Agnarr took a tentative step forward. He smiled weakly.

"Please don't leave me here, I'd be lost without you." Her gaze flicked to the woods behind him. They weren't more than a few hundred yards from the road. If she darted into the trees, it was at least even odds that he would make his way back to Arendelle or that his guards would find him before he starved to death. Or died of hypothermia. Or the wolves ate him. But his uncertain, slightly hopeful tone reminded of a similar encounter that may as well have happened in another lifetime when he was just as lost, and endearing, and hopeful. And in that moment, she knew she wouldn't abandon him.

She watched as Agnarr looked over his shoulder and then back at her. "I didn't bring an escort." He said hurriedly. Before she could explain herself, he continued on. "I was coming to call on you at Mr. Visser's, but he said you were at home. I saw you leaving the boarding house and followed. I'm sorry."

After a few more agonizing moments of silence, Iduna crossed her arms and licked her lips. She wanted him gone. To be away. She couldn't think clearly any more when they were alone. The past year had been too much. It had gotten to her. "It's your kingdom, your Majesty. You can go anywhere. You have nothing to apologize for."

"No, Iduna, I do." He took another step closer. "I have a lot to apologize for. And I hope that you'll let me. Apologize, I mean. I've been a complete and absolute ass." He gave a humorless laugh as she raised an eyebrow. "I have treated you so poorly. Which is just . . ." He tapped his chest. "Has been hurting my heart since Elias explained to me what a complete ass I've been because you are the last person I would want to hurt."

Inexplicably, Iduna felt an overwhelming sense of rage and resentment course through her veins at his words. Rather than any feelings of forgiveness, she could only re-live every humiliating moment and minute spent in self-loathing as she helped him win whichever woman he ultimately chose to replace her. The memories and agonizing self-incrimination rose in her mind and escaped in the form of a laugh which, she would later have to admit, sounded rather deranged. He froze at her outburst. She didn't doubt his words. Never would. He had always been such a good soul. A compassionate king and a kind ruler. Had never made her feel his station was above her. Never made her feel uneasy or unwanted in his presence. But he had still cut her to the very core of her being and she had said nothing and until this moment – this moment when he had the audacity to apologize –

"You had me pick flowers with you from my garden, Agnarr! My garden." Her voice echoed off the trees. Birds flew off. He winced.

"I know."

"You took them riding where we used to hunt together for nests and birds' eggs!"

"I did," he hung his head.

"You showed me the water colors they painted for you!"

"In my defense," he spoke hesitantly. "That was because Princess Erzsebet had the snowdrops completely out of season alongside the azaleas and I thought that you would think it was funny." She stared at him as she felt the rage begin to subside, leaving her feeling drained and exhausted. Of course he thought that. Ass. "But I can fully understand, now, how very stupid that was. And how inconsiderate it was. And how even if I did not intend to hurt your feelings – and Iduna, I swear to you on my honor as the King, I did not mean to hurt your feelings – that's exactly what I did."

He seemed so nervous. As though he thought she wouldn't believe him when he had never given her any reason to question his word. As though of the two of them, he was the one living a lie every day. Until Greet had suggested the possibility, it had never occurred to her that he could have been manipulative or malicious in their friendship. She gave a small helpless shrug and hugged the satchel to her stomach. "I never thought you meant to hurt me, your Majesty."

"It doesn't matter that I didn't mean to hurt you, Iduna. I did. And I'm so sorry." He scratched his head and sighed. "I would never want to see in any kind of pain and I . . . completely betrayed you and our friendship. Please accept my apology. Apologies. My most sincere apologies. I was . . . stupid."

"Was?" She couldn't help her treasonous tongue or the tiniest sense of satisfaction she felt seeing him flinch at her sharp tone. For too long, she had been forced to keep her hurt locked away. Lying to herself about it. Pretending with him that it wasn't even there. It had been necessary in order to stay in his life, to be his friend. Saying goodbye would have been impossible, but their interactions over the year had become increasingly impossible for her heart to bear. Now, given permission, it was hard to stem the avalanche of her frustration and anger.

"Am. Am stupid." He sighed again. "Please forgive me."

And it was done. The unspoken, deeply ugly feeling that had been building up over the past year had made itself known and vanished into the space between them. Iduna felt knots that she hadn't even acknowledged releasing their hold on her shoulders and back. She cracked her neck and rubbed her temples.

"I forgive you," she said softly. Looking anywhere but him. "Agnarr, I know you have to get married. You're the King. And I know you want a family. And you deserve to have a wonderful one, you really do." She stared at the ground.

"That's the other thing I wanted to talk to you about," she looked up as his voice cracked.

It was now or never. He had apologized and she hadn't physically injured him. She had also used his name not once, but twice. Even if it hadn't been a good sign last time, he held out hope – every time her saw his name form on her lips it did things to his heart. Elias had helpfully written down some talking points for him on a piece of parchment, but his hands were so clammy that he wasn't certain he would be able to get it out of his pocket without getting his hand stuck first. Instead, he slowly approached her until he was only a few inches away, close enough to take in every one of her freckles and nearly lose himself in her blue eyes.

"I'm going to have to apologize again."

"For?" She sounded uncertain.

"Before I started having these foreign women presented to me, Captain Calder explained that, as King, and not Agnarr, I might accidentally coerce an Arendellian woman into a relationship she didn't want."

"I'm foreign."

He flushed. "I mean – women who are my subjects – " Iduna tilted her head slowly as she watched him speak and he could practically see the word "Idiot" forming on her lips. He stopped and shrugged helplessly. "I just told you how stupid I am, Iduna." Much to his relief, she huffed a small laugh.

"Captain Calder told you that it wouldn't be appropriate to impose your "Royal Will", so to speak, on any of us locals?" They shared a smile and he nodded gratefully.

"Exactly. And I'd like to think that's why every time I tried to ask," he trailed off as he saw her posture stiffen. He clenched his fists. "Iduna. I'm sorry. I do have to get married. I need to get married. I want to get married. And I think that I want to get married to you." She looked away, red in the face, but he plowed on. "I want to court you. Officially. With the blessing of the Council. But I didn't want to ask them until I had your permission."

He rubbed the back of his neck. "And I don't want to put you in this position. To put you on the spot. But – I do need to give the Council an answer soon. We're nearly nineteen. My Coronation is in just about two years and I'll need to marry either before or right after the ceremony. Arendelle has been without an heir for nearly five years. It's expected that I provide one as soon as propriety allows. It's one of my most important duties as the King. To give the kingdom the security and safety it deserves. But, also, as a man," he struggled for a few moments to find the words.

"You want children," Iduna's hushed voice broke the silence. She still wasn't looking at him. "You want a family."

"I do," He said. And please let it be with you. In spite of his bold words, he wasn't entirely certain what he would do if she rejected him. "And I wish I didn't have to force you with such a stark choice – but – " Agnarr swallowed hard and hoped his courage wouldn't fail. "If you tell me that you won't- that you don't want to, I'll have to agree to court someone else. If it's "no" from you, Iduna . . .I'll have to let the Council find me a "yes" from someone else." Silence. He wished she would look at him. Or say something. Anything. "I don't need you to give me an answer right now, but – "

"Yes," Iduna looked up into his eyes and he could have sworn that his heart stopped. "You can ask the Council."

She reached into her pocket and pulled out the necklace he had given to her on his birthday. She held it in her palm to show him. He had started to open his mouth. She needed to shut him up before he asked something like "Are you sure?" or "Do you mean 'yes' the Council should arrange for me to court another woman?"

"Yes," She repeated because in spite of the sudden, almost unbearable, feeling of lightness and euphoria, it was becoming difficult to speak coherently. All of the longing and suppressed hopes were lifting and the woods and world were receding away as Agnarr's face broke into an ear-to-ear grin. He stepped forward and lifted her off the ground in a bone-crushing hug that pinned her arms to her sides. "Agnarr!" She laughed. "I'm going to drop it!"

He placed her down gently, still gazing so intently into her eyes that she felt rooted to the spot. It was the same way he had looked at her after walking her home. The same look he had after he gave her the necklace. Her heart was pounding in her chest as he gently touched her face and leaned in. Her eyes closed of their own accord and her hands found his waist. In her weaker moments, she had imagined their first kiss because, of course she would envision Agnarr. But such romantic musings had not included him cracking his forehead against hers.

"Ow!" Her eyes flew open. He looked mortified.

"I'm sorry! I closed my eyes too soon! I've never done this before! Are you alright?" He'd never done this before, eh? Even with all that diplomatic pressure to make nice with their allies? And she knew some of those women were quite beautiful in a powdered, ornamental sort of way. Iduna smiled with loving affection. He was so dumb. And sweet. And she would be lucky to spend the rest of her life being just a little exasperated by him

"It's fine," She chuckled, her hands gently clutching at his waistcoat, the pendant feeling like it was burning a hole in her left hand. "Try again." She tilted her head back and closed her eyes again. Even though she was expecting it, the reality of Agnarr's warm mouth on hers was unexpected enough to take her breath away. It was much wetter than she had anticipated, and none of her fantasies had ever involved their teeth clicking together, but it was still wonderful and when he finally drew away, he left her lips tingling pleasantly.

He was blushing, but looked pleased nonetheless. "I might be bad at this now, but I promise you, I'll get better. We can practice together." He looked so happy. And it made her feel warm all over to know that she was the reason he looked so happy. That their clumsy, inept kiss could make him beam like that. He gently took her hands and took the necklace from her. "May I?" She smiled and turned, raising her braids out of the way as he brought the delicate chain around her neck. She made a soft sound as his lips seared her skin where the clasp was fastened.

From somewhere deep, under the oblivious joy, a voice was trying to make itself heard. To assert that she was a traitor, and a liar, and that this was doomed. When he discovered who she was, what she was, he would push her away or worse. But before the thoughts could coalesce, he brought his arms around her and she melted into his embrace. They lingered a few more moments in the afterglow, his chin tucked atop her shoulder, before Agnarr pulled away from her.

"We should head back," he said softly. "If you're done out here, I mean. We could walk back together. I want to tell the Council immediately."

"I would like that," she said, still blushing. "To walk back with you." He grinned, his eyes alight and clasped her hand in his. He took a confident step towards their future before she stopped him. "Agnarr, the road is that way." She was clearly trying not to laugh.

He was not deterred. "Lead the way, Iduna!" She managed to get him back to the road without getting lost once or him floating off into the sky, only stopping to retrieve her boots and stockings. He sat next to her, giddy to be so close, while she pulled them on. It was odd, he thought, how something so simple could be so intimate. Of course she did this every day. He did the laces up on one of her boots she did the other, ignoring her giggling attempts to swat him away. When they reached the road, she pulled out of his grasp. He made a sad whining sound and pouted, holding his hand out and wiggling his fingers. She laughed at seeing him act like one of the smaller children at Eir's.

"Someone will see," she hugged herself, walking backwards as she smiled. He shrugged.

"So? Let them."

"The Council hasn't given permission."

"That is a formality and a courtesy," he laughed. "I'm the King. I can have them all beheaded."

"Agnarr!"

"Well, thrown in the dungeon. Or maybe just removed from their position," he grinned and grabbed her hand, intertwining his fingers as best he could. "It won't be a problem. Asking you was the hard part." She huffed at that, grabbed his wrist and deliberately pulled her hand out of his. There was an instant where his heart fell and he wondered if he had said exactly the wrong thing again, before she looped her elbow around his and pressed into his side.

"You've grown a lot in the past three years," she said shyly. "Your hands are a bit too big for me to hold comfortably if we're going to walk that far."

"This is fine!" He blurted. It was fine. So fine. Eminently fine. They ambled slowly along the empty road, discussing nothing of great importance, reveling in the novelty of their shared touch. But something was bothering him. "Iduna, can I ask you something?" She smiled up at him.

"You sound pretty serious given what you asked earlier. Should I be worried?"

"No, I mean – I just . . .when I was being an idiot. When I was asking you for advice with those women. Why didn't you say anything? I mean, I should've known better. But still . . ."

She sighed and hugged his arm against her chest. "You're still the King, Agnarr. It's not always easy . . .or even safe . . .for people to be honest with the King. Even when he is being a completely inconsiderate ass."

"You'll always be safe with me," he promised. "And I always want you to be honest with me." She hugged his arm so tightly that it hurt for a moment. "I want to know what you're thinking. I'm not as good at figuring that out as I thought I was. And I never want to hurt you again. You're too precious to me."

"I will . . .always do my best to be truthful with you," she replied slowly. "Whenever possible." He smiled and patted her hand with his.

"Thank you. So then, about these potential suitors that you never mentioned that I've been told you had?"

"I will be honest as long as I want to answer the question," she laughed and pushed him away. Chuckling he drew her back into his arms for another kiss. He didn't think she would let him get away with it once they were closer to the town. It was wonderful. They were getting better already.