A/N: Okay, here is the deal with the deal. I haven't written a Star Wars fic since I was about twelve years old. I am now almost thirty, so this is a really weird concept for me. I just saw The Rise of Skywalker, and let me tell you: I am ruined. I really enjoyed the film, but something isn't sitting right with me. So, here we are. This is going to be a learning experience for me, for sure. I do apologize if there is anything misspelt, or there is wrongful lore used. I will learn as I go, but this is something I need to get out, and onto paper, because goddamn Ben Solo deserved better. I do this a lot: I don't like the ending to a character, so I change it. Because screw the system, I guess. Whatever. Here is a word vomit that came to me literally hours after seeing this movie. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: I own nothing except Myeaé Barann. All Rights for Star Wars belong to Luacasfilm, and Disney.

The Last Skywalker

Chapter One

Ben

He stared down at her body. It couldn't be real.

Her skin was already cold as he held her to him, his own frame beginning to shake uncontrollably. Above them, the skies of Exegol raged on, shots ringing out, and flames flickering. They reflected in her blank eyes, and he felt hot tears sting his own. He looked around desperately, silently pleading for something, anything, to help him now, to help her.

Suddenly, an idea came to him. He had seen her do it, before, upon the ruins of the Death Star. He had seen her use the Force to heal his wounds. She had called upon its powers, and the fatal wound she had given him had been healed, and he had brought back from the brink of death. He had remembered how it had felt, how his lungs had inflated, and his body had been filled with life once more. He had to try. It had to work.

He shifted her in his arms, cradling her head in his hands. A few tears escaped his gaze as he gently laid his hand upon her lower abdomen. He closed his eyes, feeling the Force begin to flow through him. It felt different now, than it had before. It felt clearer, cleaner even, if that was possible. It hadn't felt this way in years, not since… He felt a small stab in his heart, but he pushed it down as hard as he could. He could not afford to feel any pain about that now, not when this was so important. He willed himself to still, to even his breathing. His body tingled, and a small smile formed on his lips. This would work. It would. She would open her eyes, and even if he died bringing her back, at least she would be back. He just wanted to see her open her eyes. Just one last time.

Just one last –

His body jerked. His eyes flew open, and he stared down at her, his face hopeful.

But she did not stir.

He felt a lump form in his throat. It reminded him of the one he had felt when he had seen the vision of his father, and when he had felt his mother before she had… But this was much worse. This feeling was so much worse. He swallowed painfully. Her skin seemed to be getting colder, if that was possible. Her gaze blanker. Tears blurred his vision momentarily, and as he blinked, mixed with the rain, he saw a few of his tears fall onto her face. He shook her gently, and her head lolled to the side, the arm he had draped over his shoulder falling limply with a soft thud as it hit the ground. He felt his voice crack horribly as he whispered into the darkness.

"Rey?"

Her name sounded to small, his voice so broken. He had never spoken it in such a way before. He had never had the chance. He hadn't been able to see until now, until this moment. This painful, gut wrenching moment, as he held her cooling body in his arms. He screwed up his face, bending his head down, his forehead resting upon hers, as he felt the sobs come. Her let out years of anguish that had been building up inside of him. He had turned back to the Light, but too late. Too late to save the woman he had come to love so fiercely, but had denied it for too long. Until now…

The scream that tore through him was unlike any he had ever unleashed before.

It ripped his soul apart. It killed every part of him to know he could not save her. He wasn't strong enough to bring her back. As Kylo Ren he had been able to do anything. But as Ben Solo? He couldn't even save the life of the woman he loved. He was useless. He was a fucking monster who had tried and failed to even think he could be redeemed. His father had been wrong, his mother had been –

The weight of Rey's body suddenly disappeared.

His head snapped up, and found he only held her clothes, now. Her physical body had vanished, and she, like the Jedi before her, had become one with the Force. He was left kneeling there, his leg still aching, and his heart shattered. He sat, head hung, letting the pain hold him, wondering if he were to remain there, if he might be able to join her in the Force. He allowed his heart rate to slow, and his body to still, once again. This time, however, he silently pleaded with the Force to take him too, to give his soul in exchange for hers. Maybe he hadn't tried hard enough before?

"Ben."

His head whipped up so fast he thought he had broken his neck. He looked around him, but saw no one. He knew that voice, however. Was it? It couldn't be. He slowly turned again, his eyes for the first time leaving the spot where Rey had died, to look behind him. There, barely visible, was a soft blue glow, and a figure slowly took shape. A figure he thought he wouldn't see again in this lifetime, and especially not here, not like this.

"Mother?" He croaked. His voice was hoarse, broken from crying, and he furiously wiped his eyes. But there she stood, clearer and clearer by the second. Leia Organa materialized slowly, and she moved towards her son, coming to kneel before him. "Mother." This time his voice broke again, and he reached for her, but his hand passed straight through her. He fell slightly, and had to steady himself as he did. He turned, looking back up at her, to see her face filled with sadness as she gazed down at him.

"Ben." Her voice sounded so sad.

"I failed, mother." He whispered, staring up at her from his knees, his body half hunched. "I failed everyone. I came here to help Rey, to save her, so she could rebuild the Jedi Order. But I failed. She's dead. I failed."

Leia smiled sadly, reaching for her son, and for an instant, he felt a cool sensation upon his shoulder, but it was brief. "You didn't fail, Ben. You turned back to the Light. You came here to help Rey stop Palpatine. You showed her that good can triumph, and you helped give her the strength to defeat him. You didn't fail."

He shook his head, a dull anger rising in him, mixed with pain and angst. "I did. I failed. The Jedi Order is over, don't you see? It can never be rebuilt, now. All the Jedi are gone."

Leia shook her head, her smile still fixed in place. "You're wrong, Ben. Luke said so once, and now so do I. You are wrong. The Jedi order isn't over. There is still hope."

He stared up at her in disbelief. "How? How is there still hope? I don't understand."

Leia reached for him again, taking his face in her hands. This time, he felt her touch, and a new pain washed over him. He closed his eyes, allowing himself to feel it. When he opened them, Leia was looking into his eyes. "You are the future of the Jedi now, Ben. There is still hope because you still live. You came back to the Light for a reason: to help Rey fulfill her destiny, and to remake yours. I stopped my Jedi training because I saw the death of my son at the end. But, now I see that my training can continue through you." He felt something heavy land in his lap, and he looked down to see his mother's light saber there. He slowly picked it up, staring at it, and not her, as she continued. "Take up the mantle, Ben. Further your redemption. Build a new generation of Jedi, under not only strength and discipline, but love and compassion. Teach a new Order how to love but also learn, and they will be stronger than any who came before. This is the destiny of you, Ben Solo."

"Mother, I – " He looked back up at her, but she was gone. Vanished into thin air, as Rey had. He looked around, and found he was once again alone. He looked back down at the light saber in his lap, his mother's light saber. He again felt the pain threaten to over come him, but he fought it back. He felt, though it was desperately, small, a glimmer of hope in his chest. Rey had been right about him: he had turned in the end. Maybe his mother was right as well? Maybe he could make the difference he had thought Rey had been meant to. Maybe it was his destiny, in the end, to rebuild the Jedi Order.

He stood, his mother's light saber in hand. He reached out, and his uncle's light saber flew to his other hand. He attached them to his belt, before slowly gathering Rey's clothing in his arms. Her friends would want these, he pondered. If they didn't shoot him on site, that was. That was an encounter he was not looking forward to. He blinked back a few more angry tears, as he thought of her. In that moment, however, he thought he felt her presence. It was small, so small that maybe he had imagined it, or maybe he hadn't. With one last long look around him at the ruins of Exegol, he turned his back upon it all. He began to make his way back towards his ship. Towards something new, and terrifying. Towards something he hoped beyond he would be deserving of. He hoped Rey would be proud. Kylo Ren was dead and gone, now. She had killed him.

Ben Solo would rebuild the Jedi Order.

A/N: Not long, I know, but this is the start of something, maybe. At least until I feel better about what I witnessed tonight. Don't get me wrong: loved the movie. But, I'd like to try to explore something here, and learn more about a universe I grew up with, and write a story I feel I can be proud of. Also, I'll fix any spelling mistakes as I find them. For now, here's this. Enjoy, fandom!