DISCLAIMER: All recognizable characters belong to Stephanie Meyer. No copyright infringement intended.

When she fell, she fell apart.

Cracked her bones on the pavement she once decorated

as a child with sidewalk chalk.

When she crashed, her clothes disintegrated and blew away

with the winds that took all of her fair-weather friends.

~ Taylor Swift, Why She Disappeared (Poem)

BPOV

According to a lot of people, I was everything that was wrong with the world. I got away with heinous crimes, I was married to a man who got away with worse, and combined we had more money than any two people could ever need. I was never one to buy extravagant things just for the sake of proving I could, but my husband was the complete opposite. I knew it was a power thing, especially in his line of work. Money equated power, and proving you could build a mansion bigger than every other place in the neighborhood proved he was back on top.

Five years ago, I would have felt guilty about the ostentatiousness of it all, agreed with the people that said the home was too big and the money should be put to better use elsewhere.

But, that was before the entire world spent years outlining every flaw of mine, making every little mistake I ever made a headline, and enjoying the fact that I was slowly crumbling every day during the trial from hell.

It took me nearly all night to wander through the house. I'd been living here over a week but there were a lot of little things I didn't know or realize about the place. There was a special slot in one of the cabinets in the movie room, it was a lighted shelf and every one of my films was on display in it. In the middle of the eighteen-person dining room table, there was a bouquet of beautiful, hand-blown glass daisies, reminiscent of the ones Edward used to give me. I counted the number of keys hanging by the garage door five times before opening it and seeing an entire new fleet of cars.

After my adventures I ended up standing in the foyer, the grand staircase curving off to the right, a formal living room decorated in soft browns and creams in front of me. This small section of the house was bigger than the entire home I grew up in.

My childhood wasn't something I liked to think about much, but it got me to where I was, I supposed. It was hard to even remember who I was before I left Forks. I went to school, managed slightly above average grades, but nothing spectacular. There weren't any friends I missed; I would talk to my classmates when necessary but I wasn't really close with anyone back then. I would distract myself with books and movies, put myself in a completely new world where I was someone important and loved.

I liked to think my job didn't really change me that much, but looking around at this house it was hard to imaging me as that same girl sleeping in her twin sized bed every night, desperate for her mother's approval.

I was in the middle of brushing my teeth a few minutes later when Edward got home. It had been over twenty-four hours since I last saw him, and he gave me a lazy smile and a soft kiss to the top of my head before he got in the shower. I watched him, toothbrush frozen in my mouth, as the shower doors started to fog. Sixteen-year-old me definitely wouldn't have known what to do with him.

Once my nighttime routine was done I hopped up on the spacious marble counter and waited for Edward. I watched him shower in the least creepy way possible. My job might have changed me, but nothing changed me quite as much as he had. Not in a bad way either, but in the kind of way someone has to change when they mesh their life with someone else. At least, I hoped it was in that kind of way.

Edward smiled at me again when he got out of the shower, eying me as he sluggishly wrapped a towel around his waist. "You're up late."

I shrugged, wrapping every limb I could around him when he came to stand between my legs. It was completely distracting, his sculpted chest with a few lingering water droplets.

"Do you think I've changed?"

"Changed?" Edward asked, eying me up and down.

The look of confusion and hint of fear in his eyes made me snort. "Not physically. I meant… personality wise."

I couldn't blame him for the moment of hesitation. When I was still adjusting on the island I went through a phase of taking out my weight frustrations on him. I had been mad about the reasons why I lost the weight in the first place, and then mad that I had to gain it all back. From the age of sixteen I had people ingraining it in my mind that gaining weight was a bad thing, so it was a bit of an adjustment.

It took a while, but eventually I agreed with Edward that a little extra weight on my thighs or ass or anywhere else wasn't the end of the world.

"You've grown up. You've been through shit and that changes people, but you're still you." I gave him a half-hearted smile and a warm hand lifted my chin up. "What brought this on?"

"I grew up in a house a hundred times smaller than this, Edward. I used to shop at the grocery store on a budget and visit my father at the police station after school."

Now, our home could fit nearly all of the population of Forks. Our groceries were delivered from the most lavish grocery store I had ever seen, and I couldn't even think about a police station without getting nauseous these days.

"That girl is still in there, Bella. She just had to grow some thicker skin. But… I don't think it's such a bad thing that you changed from the girl that took all of that shit from everyone into the one who stands up for herself now."

I guessed I never really thought of it like that. "Yeah?"

"Yeah."

I wrapped my arms around him, tugging at the damp hair at the base of his neck. "I love you," I sighed into his shoulder, trailing kisses along his neck.

I would have been that same girl, the one that let everyone walk all over her if I didn't have him. Edward never took shit from anyone, and while his methods were far more extreme than mine, he did teach me to stand up for myself.

When my kisses reached his lips Edward took over, his lips more demanding, his taste making my head fuzzy. I ran a hand down the center of his chest, relishing in the strength underneath my fingertips. Edward kept me strong and – somewhat – sane, and I hoped I did the same for him.

I let my hand drift past the waist of his towel, smiling to myself when I felt his semi-hard cock beneath my fingers. Edward let out a muffled curse into our kiss when I kept a steady grip on him as I worked him over.

We were quiet, only communicating with grunts, groans, and kisses. Mossy green eyes stayed locked on mine, their intensity making my cheeks heat up.

"There she is," Edward grunted. "Got my cock in your hand and you're still blushing."

Before I could respond my lips were busy again, swallowing the sounds of Edward's groans. His hand covered mine, squeezing and increasing my tempo.

Maybe he was right. Maybe I was still the shy, quiet girl I used to be. The one who definitely would have blushed at anything Edward Cullen did near me. But, I was also the one who was his wife and had no qualms about giving him a handjob just because I wanted to.

Eventually, his groans got louder and his hips started working with my hand. I tore myself away from his kiss to whisper in his ear, "Do you want to come in my hand or my mouth?"

After a string of curses Edward looked down at me, tearing the short, silk nightgown over my shoulders. My hand quickly returned back to him once it was free.

"Lean back," Edward groaned, hands squeezing my thighs, pulling me closer to the edge so I could lean back across the long counter. "God, you're gorgeous."

I fell back on both of my hands when Edward took over. The sight of my husband pleasuring himself, eyes roaming my body, made me feel more powerful than any crowd cheering for me ever could.

"Bella," he grunted, coming in four long spurts across my abdomen and chest.

We both sat frozen, panting in place for a long time. Edward pulled me up, kissing me while being careful to keep himself clean from the mess he made on me. He reached down, grabbing his discarded towel and cleaned me up without a word.

Even without my own release I was surprisingly relaxed. I leaned my head on Edward's shoulder, giving him languid kisses as his fingertips traced lazy patterns on my thighs.

When I reached over for the slip I was wearing earlier Edward grunted and tossed it out of my way. "Clothing is entirely unnecessary."

"It's like, twelve degrees outside," I said, giggling unintentionally when Edward lifted me off of the counter and carried me to bed. The slip was thin, but it was better than nothing.

"That's what blankets are for, sweetheart."

"But, I – oof." My breath was knocked out of me when Edward plopped me down on the bed, then all conscious thought drifted away when he slowly slid my panties down my legs. "I didn't – you don't…"

"What kind of husband would I be," Edward sighed, situating myself to his liking underneath the too-soft-for-words comforter. "If I left you unsatisfied?"

He disappeared immediately underneath said comforter, hands snaking up my legs and kisses trailed in his wake.

"A, uh, normal one I think," I said, squirming underneath him. All I could see was an Edward-shaped lump under the comforter, but I could feel much, much more than that. Including his chuckle at my reply.

"Isabella, if there is ever a night I leave you unsatisfied, you have every right to send me to my grave."

I forced my brain to repress the image of his very real grave that I once sobbed over and instead thought about every magazine article I had ever seen about husbands leaving their wives unsatisfied. Hell, even with my tiny list of relationships before Edward, I knew constant satisfaction was rare. Somehow, that had never been the case with Edward. Whenever we were together it was like he was on a mission, one he took very seriously that always ended in mutual satisfaction. Many times over.

…rep…

I straightened my grey pencil skirt, making sure my black sweater was tucked in all around me. The elevator door was a mirror, so I double checked to make sure the black tights covering my legs didn't have any runs, and that my black ankle boots didn't have a smudge on them.

There was no reason for me to be nervous, but I was. It was an excited nervous though. I had my plans in my tote and I was ready to put them in motion. As per usual, I was about ten minutes early. I saw someone in the conference room, setting folders around the table, so I decided to wait it out in Edward's office.

"Early as always, Mrs. Cullen." Edward smiled at me from his desk.

I smiled back, not realizing how good it would be to see him in his office again. We had been back in town a couple weeks, but I hadn't been to his office. It was so normal considering how strange life had been for so long. Before I could comment on it, I noticed Emmett and Jasper sitting opposite of him.

"Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt, I'll let you guys – "

"They're actually here for you," Edward grumbled, not looking as happy as he had just a moment ago. He stood from his spot behind his desk and held his chair out for me.

I gave him a quick kiss and sat down. "What is it?"

"We know you're about to finalize Edward sponsoring your tour, but we want to help, too. Make it a family thing," Emmett said, an odd smirk on his face.

"No, tell her the truth," Edward told them, standing off to the side and frowning at his brother.

Jasper sighed. "We have an annual bet. We just thought this would help… even things out."

"A bet?" I asked.

"Who can make the most within the year. Edward's won every year since we started."

I fidgeted in my chair, slightly uncomfortable. I had been in this kind of situation too many times to count. They weren't doing it maliciously, but it still made me a bit uneasy. Then, I realized I could turn the tables.

"Maybe I want in on the bet," I said with a shrug. Edward started laughing in the distance.

"W-what?" Emmett asked.

"Yeah. I'm about to have a very financially successful year."

"You never seemed to care about the whole 'I have more money than you do' thing," Jasper said, obviously trying to talk me out of it.

"Oh, I don't. What I care about is people trying to trick me into things to make money off of me. It's kind of a touchy subject for me after that whole Clash series fuck up." It seemed like a lifetime ago, but it was still something that frustrated me. They used me and my name to make money, telling me empty promises to get me to do what they wanted. They weren't the only ones to do it to me, but they were the most prominent.

"Edward is going to make money off of you," Emmett said carefully.

"Edward's my husband, what's mine is his anyway. Besides, he's not doing it for the money. He's doing it to make me happy." There was no doubt in my mind that Edward's main reason for doing this was because he didn't want a repeat of what happened before; sponsors backing out because of some new scandal that was bound to blow up. He did this, would do anything, just to make my life easier. "You guys didn't do this maliciously, I know that, but I still want in."

"Damnit, Emmett, I told you this wasn't going to work," Jasper said, shoving Emmett.

"I told you not to try," Edward told them, holding his office door for the pair as they walked out. Then, he turned to me with a soft smile. "Come. Let's see what you've come up with."

An hour later I had what I needed. I was given the green light for everything; the dancers, the lighting, the stage, all of it. Which was good considering I had people start building the stage and designing visuals about three months ago.

"Lunch to celebrate?" Edward asked as we sat back down in his office.

"I can't. I told Alice and Rosalie I would meet them. They seem very… into me lately. I don't know why." I had gotten calls from both of them nearly daily, asking how I was doing being back, and wanting updates on how the album was doing and such. It was nice that they cared, but I wasn't used to it.

Not that they didn't care about me before, we were on good terms before everything went down, but I wouldn't have called them my best friends. I was never great at the whole friend thing.

"They feel guilty."

"Why would they feel guilty?"

"They treated you like shit when we first started dating, got their heads out of their asses after a while and then you went to jail for protecting their husbands. They realized that you're not going anywhere and they owe you a big debt of gratitude for what you did for this family." Edward shrugged, as if everything he was saying was as simple as it sounded.

"I didn't do it to get them out of jail," I whispered, more to myself than anything. Edward heard, though, and pressed a soft kiss to my forehead.

"Enjoy your lunch. Meet me for dinner later?"

I sighed. "I can't. I've got a few people I need to meet with about band rehearsal."

"Well, aren't you a hot commodity these days," Edward said, smiling down at me. "What does a man have to do to get a few hours with his wife?"

"Meet me in the bathtub at nine with a bottle of wine and I'm yours," I replied softly, giving him a quick kiss before heading out.

The restaurant the girls told me to meet them at was more formal that I thought. My business casual would have to do. I was a few minutes early and requested a booth in the back. It was only a couple minutes later when Alice and Rose showed up together.

"Thanks for meeting us," Alice said with a small smile.

"Of course. How are things?"

"Oh, no. This lunch is all about you," Rose countered.

"What?"

"We got off on the wrong foot, obviously. We tried to make up for it before but then… well, you know. We don't want to just be in-laws, Bella. We want to be your friends, if you'll have us."

"I'm not so good with the whole friend thing," I admitted. Kate was my friend, but she kind of had to be with the amount of time we spent together. It worked because we could bond over work. It was hard to do that with Alice and Rose. They didn't really understand my kind of life.

"We'll start with getting to know you a little better, is that good?"

"Sure." I didn't want to be on the outside of the family. I got along well with Jasper and Emmett, and I knew better than to think I would ever be on great terms with Carlisle and Esme. It would be nice to feel like I had friends in Alice and Rose.

"So, tonight –"

"Oh, I can't tonight. I have a work thing, and then plans with Edward."

"Edward gets you all of the time, Bella."

"He wanted to have lunch and then dinner but I was busy. So, I promised I would be home later." That was when it occurred to me that Alice and Rose weren't really used to the women they socialized with having a busy work schedule.

"Look, I'm all for us getting closer. I want you both as friends, but I'm about to be really busy. If you don't –"

"No, no! Just tell us a night that works for you and we'll have a girl's night in. Something relaxing for you before things get too hectic," Rosalie offered.

"Okay, I'll let you know what day works," I said quietly, not used to people genuinely wanting to know me for me.

The next afternoon I was sorting through three boxes of new merchandise. It was higher quality that before, and more things that I would actually wear as opposed to being marketed toward a younger crowd. It was nice to finally have more freedom with everything pertaining to my career these days.

I was trying things on as I went, because I had no shame in wearing my own merchandise. It was comfortable, free, and perfect to throw on before I ran off to rehearsal where I would practically be living the next few months.

The front door slammed shut. I was only wearing a slightly oversized green t-shirt with a snake logo on the back, but I figured it was Edward coming home so I headed downstairs, sans pants, to see him.

Only it wasn't Edward. It was Alice and Rosalie, surprisingly dressed in comfortable clothes for once.

"Oh, I thought you were Edward," I said awkwardly, attempting to pull my shirt any lower that it could go.

"I called him and he told me he would give us the night to ourselves. He has to work with the boys anyway," Alice said with a calm smile.

"Well, I was just going through some boxes of merchandise if you want to… help?"

"Oh, fun! Come on, Rose." Alice grabbed Rose's hand and skipped up the stairs with her.

I showed them the boxes sitting around our bedroom and made a quick detour to the closet for pants. As I was pulling on some black yoga pants my phone rang.

"How much trouble am I in?" Edward said immediately.

"It would have been none if you had warned me. I went to greet who I thought was you at the door and wasn't wearing any pants."

"Damn. Will you still be pantless when I get home tonight?"

"No."

"I was going to call but I got pulled into a meeting."

"It's okay. It'll be… good, I think. Maybe we can work on the pants thing when you get home."

After another minute I got off the phone with Edward and wandered back into the bedroom. Alice and Rose had most of the clothes spread out across the room now.

"I've got to ask… explain the snake thing to me again?" Rose asked, looking at the various snakes on the clothing.

"Everyone has been calling me a snake for years. What with the trial and all of the shit that came out during it. All of my socials were flooded with that damn snake emoji, and I had enough. I decided it wasn't the worst thing to be a snake; be good to people until they step on you, then attack."

"I like that," Alice smiled. "And I love all of this stuff."

"I can get you both a box full… I mean, if you want."

"Of course! We'll need things to wear to the shows, you know," Rose said with a smile that made me smile in return.

"Isn't it hard, reading all of that stuff about you? I mean, I grew up reading about my family, but people are even more cruel toward you."

"It can be… challenging sometimes I guess. I go through phases of reading articles until I hate myself, and then not caring what they say."

The rest of the night was nice. We talked more about my tour and it was fun to bounce some ideas off of them. We ended up in the movie room, wrapped in blankets and eating popcorn, talking about every random thing that came to mind. Maybe I could do this whole friend thing.

"What are you guys doing this weekend?"

…rep…

A couple days later I was wandering my closet, grabbing things I thought I would need for the weekend. Alice and Rosalie had been ecstatic when I told them about the all-expense paid weekend in Las Vegas that was waiting for me, a present from my record label because of how well the album was doing. Originally, I had told them I didn't want it, but they said it would be waiting for me if I changed my mind.

Edward couldn't go with me, not after just getting back to work after being gone for years, so I didn't really see the point. Now, I thought it would be a good time to bond with Alice and Rosalie before I got too busy to do much else.

It was late Friday morning when I started packing. It was only a couple days, but I was always paranoid that I was going to forget something whenever I traveled. It didn't help matters when Edward watched me constantly, frowning whenever I put something in my suitcase.

"I asked you first, you know," I told him, smiling at the cute pout of his lips.

"I know."

"So, why are you all pouty?"

"I do not pout, Bella."

I folded another top and dropped it in the suitcase beside him. There was a large bench that divided the closet in half, one side for Edward and one for me. Edward sat there, next to my suitcase, a definite pout on his lips.

"This," I said, quickly grabbing the offending pouty lip. "Is a pout."

My plan backfired when he grabbed my hand, sucking my thumb into his mouth. It distracted me for a second, his tongue sliding along my finger, until I realized I was already running late.

"You're cheating," I told him, getting my hand away from temptation, wiping it on his shoulder before going back to the clothes. I pulled open the drawer lined with bras, picking up a couple without thinking too much about it.

"Not that one," Edward said, standing and plucking one out of my hand.

"Why not?"

"If you're going to wear that one, I want to be there to see it. It's one of my favorites."

"You have favorite bras?"

He had a thing for lingerie, I knew that because every few months a box would show up on the island, filled with new options for me. I didn't realize his extensive knowledge of my bra collection, though.

"This one simultaneously makes your breasts look fantastic and your skin fucking glow against the color. Here, take these." Edward bunched up about seven sports bras and pushed them at me.

I put the sports bras back with a laugh, choosing a couple of the most boring, neutral bras I had and put them in my bag.

"I don't like having to share you," he grumbled, zipping my suitcase up for me. I knew what he meant. It was a big adjustment, coming back to the real world. We spent so long on the island just the two of us. There were times when I left to work, but we always knew eventually we would get back to our peaceful solitude.

Now, we had real life to deal with and it was taking a while to get used to. "I know."

Edward opened his mouth to say something, but his phone ringing interrupted him. With a roll of his eyes, he silenced it before turning back to me. His hands fell to my waist, walking me backwards until I bumped into the mirrored wall.

"Be careful, please."

"I will. You too."

He pressed his lips to mine, soft and sweet, for just a second before his phone started ringing again.

"You can go. I've got to leave in a few minutes anyway."

Edward sighed, cupping my cheek and pressing another soft kiss to my forehead. "I love you."

"Love you," I whispered, watching as he walked out of the closet, grumbled curses fading with him.

Our flight was pretty uneventful. I spent most of the time going through emails and looking through dancer profiles. Because I had so much planned in my head for so long, things with the tour were already moving along quickly. It was already stressful, but I was giving myself this one weekend to relax before I let it all get to me.

I had no plans for a crazy weekend in Las Vegas. I was fine with staying in, getting a pedicure and a massage, and some good food.

The room, suite, whatever it was, it was the definition of a lavish Las Vegas getaway. Marble floors everywhere, living spaces filled with pool tables and bars big enough to fit twenty people, and a balcony with a pool overlooking the entire city.

Once I finally got rid of the manager that escorted us up here, the girls and I looked around quietly.

"Oh, a cake!" Alice squeaked from the bar area. Sure enough, there was a cake with rep written in icing on top, along with a note from one of the executives at the label.

This was all just a big thank you for making a lot of people a lot of money, but I didn't care about that. It was easy to get caught up in the business side of things, thinking about what would make money as opposed to what I wanted to make, but it was also easy to distance myself from that mindset on the island.

I texted Edward that I had arrived safely and turned back to Alice and Rose. "So, what first?"

…rep…

Our first night was calm. Alice and Rose were tired from a week of parenting, so we ordered room service and lounged in the movie room in our pajamas. The next morning, we had manicures and pedicures done in our suite.

We were wrapped in fluffy white robes, each with 'reputation' monogramed on the back of it. All thanks to the label that was trying to get me to forget how hard I had to fight them to let me release the album I wanted in the first place. They were all tactics I had seen a hundred times before. I had fallen for them more than once early on in my career, but I saw right through them these days.

I relaxed into my chair, my feet in warm water that felt like heaven. That was the worst part about Chicago, the winters were fucking brutal. Los Angeles was bright and sunny all year round, so was the island. Vegas was a nice reprieve from the short time we'd already been back in frozen hell.

I couldn't help but laugh when Rosalie started talking about Alec.

"I love my son. He's… my favorite thing in the world, you know? But I swear, I have never been so happy to be hundreds of miles away from him."

"You think Emmett is surviving being a single parent for the weekend?" I asked, unable to really see that giant of a man handling little Alec and his shenanigans. Apparently, he was at an age where he was just… a terror.

"I don't even care. The house is going to be a mess when I get home, Alec will probably be covered in multiple unknown substances, but right now I have no responsibilities."

"Teenagers have to be worse. Jared is just… all over the place. And I can barely get Maggie to talk to me some days. Jasper and I are thinking of trying for our own soon, though."

Rosalie sighed, a sudden content smile on her face. "Babies are pretty great. A hell of a lot of work, but great." There was silence for a few minutes, as the nail techs started packing up their tools and left us lounging in the living area. "Sorry, Bella. Sometimes babies just… take over everything."

I shrugged. "It's fine. I like hearing about what your kids are up to." I did. Alec seemed like the cutest little guy I had ever met. Jared obviously had issues, but Maggie reminded me a little bit of myself when I was younger.

We had a late brunch, still in our robes. We were situated across the giant sectional in the middle of one of the living areas when the conversation turned back toward me again.

"What was it like… seeing Edward again after…" Alice asked, her voice shaking like she was scared to ask.

The memory was fresh in my mind, a moment I would never forget. "It was… like a dream, kind of. Carlisle had told me but I didn't really believe him, you know? I thought he was just scared I would turn on the family if Edward really was gone."

I took a deep breath. "Then I got to the island and he just walked out. I didn't know whether I should punch him or kiss him."

"You really changed him, Bella. For the better. He was a mess before you. I mean, Tanya and Irina were my friends growing up, but they didn't really care about him. And all the other girls… I never even bothered to ask anyone their name if I saw him with someone," Alice said. "He was high all of the time and I think he enjoyed the job too much."

Alice sighed, looking down at her freshly painted nails before going on. "We're not very close, Edward and I, but he's my brother. I love him. Jasper and I stayed with him for a while when you were… away. One day I saw him in his office and I think he was high, talking to you like you were there. He was so broken, Bella. I knew he loved you and cared about you before, but it wasn't until then that I realized how different he was with you, happy and as normal as he could be."

I hated thinking about Edward like that, high off of God knows what and berating himself for what I did. It was easy as hell to overdose on that shit, and it made me sick to my stomach to think about how many times he'd used it in the past.

"I'm glad he seems happy," I whispered, not sure my voice would be able to do much more.

"When I first met Edward he was an asshole," Rosalie said bluntly. "It's kind of amazing seeing him now. I mean, your songs are so romantic and sweet, and when I first met the guy he had two blondes on his lap and asked me if I wanted to join."

"He is still kind of an asshole to most people," I joked, choosing to ignore the two blondes.

"It's nice to know my brother is still there, the kid who came home blushing after his first kiss, not the one who faded away when my father started keeping him out late."

"Well, he definitely doesn't blush much anymore," I chuckled. The man had no shame about anything really.

"I also, uh, we also wanted to…"

"We know it's a sensitive subject, but, um…"

I couldn't remember a time when I had seen either of them so nervous. Alice had her eyes down and a small frown on her face, fidgeting with the sleeve of her robe. Rose looked nearly close to tears staring at me.

"Is everything okay?" I asked them, suddenly worried.

"Yeah, I mean, now it is," Rosalie sighed. "We just… we needed to apologize to you again."

I sighed in relief. "You guys don't have to keep apologizing to me. We're good now, I promise." All of the shit from when Edward and I were fist together really never crossed my mind anymore. We'd all changed since then, and I wasn't big on holding grudges. Well, against Alice and Rose I wasn't. I supposed my entire theme for reputation was the grudge I was holding against basically everyone else.

"Not about that," Alice said solemnly. "We should have been there for you more during, well, during Edward's funeral."

Oh.

That.

Just the words Edward and funeral in the same sentence made my blood run cold.

"You guys don't – "

"We do. He's my brother and I was devastated he was gone but I don't remember if I said a single word to you that day, Bella. I was with Esme and Carlisle and we focused on ourselves when… I know Edward said you don't remember it but – "

"I remember it," I blurted out without thinking. "It took a while to piece all of the memories together, but I remember all of it." I started talking too fast, explaining myself. "Please don't tell Edward. It's the only secret I've ever really kept from him. He would be devastated if he knew I remembered being at his – I really did forget, or repress, the whole thing for a long time, so it's not a complete lie."

"You remember the whole thing?" Rose asked, her voice soft and, surprisingly, not judgmental.

There was no use in hiding anything from them now, so I told them about the entire day from my perspective. When I got to Carlisle and Esme's home early that morning, accompanied by a fleet of police officers, Esme frowned at me and Carlisle told me to feel free to go upstairs and freshen up. The officers checked the bathroom, making sure there was nowhere for me to escape from, and I took a shower with the shampoo Edward kept at his parents, just in case. It was the first time in months I got to shower by myself, but I hardly enjoyed it.

I had wrapped myself in a towel and walked out to the bedroom, glad the officers were in the hall and not in here to see me collapse on the edge of the bed in tears. Not the uncontrollable sobs I had been crying for days. These were silent tears as I looked around the room filled with little tidbits of my husband's life.

"I remember you coming in," I told Rosalie. She came in and without a word helped me get in a black dress that seemingly came out of nowhere. It was probably the longest amount of time Rosalie and I had ever spent alone and we hardly talked. Well, she hardly talked. Once I was dressed and we were sitting side by side I was pretty chatty.

"Do you want to know a secret?" I whispered through the silent tears still falling down my cheeks.

"Sure," she whispered back, but her voice was a lot stronger than mine.

"I hope they convict me." Rosalie's gasp wasn't surprising. "I want to spend the rest of my life rotting in prison because it sounds a hell of a lot better than having to go back to the reality of being Edward Cullen's widow." I was hardly able to choke out the last three words.

"You were the only person I talked to until the funeral."

Once I had gotten dressed, Alice had brought over some jewelry for me. Mainly my wedding rings that suddenly felt three sizes too tight. Then I got in an ostentatious limo, though not with most of the family. Carlisle, Esme, Alice, and Emmett were all in a car together, while Rosalie Jasper and I were in another. I remembered thinking about how furious Edward would be at that, then remembering that, technically, I was no longer part of the family anyway.

I told them about how Jasper stuck by my side at the funeral and my little impromptu threat to Felix even though I knew I would never be able to follow through on it. I remembered sobbing as a casket I thought held my husband was lowered into the ground, and fighting every urge to find relief in what Carlisle told me that day.

The wake afterwards was nearly as unbearable as the funeral. There were family members I had met and extended family I had never even heard of. Most gave me sideways glances, and some came over to try to talk to me. I was curt and rude most of the time but I was beyond caring about anyone else's feelings at that point.

Someone, Emmett I thought, had wrapped a blanket around my shoulders at some point. I sat on the couch as far away from everyone as possible and watched all of those people mourn my husband.

"A couple named Daniel and Maggie came up to me right before I had to go," I sighed.

"Daniel is Carlisle's brother," Alice confirmed with a nod.

My conversation with them was very one sided. I couldn't even put a face to the voice because I kept my eyes on the ground for most of it. I remembered his last words to me, though. "My nephew was a good kid, and if he settled down for you then you've got to be an exceptional woman. I know my brother has had… issues with your relationship, but if things don't go your way with this trial, I'll take care of you. For Edward."

"Then… I went back to that tiny cell and the scratchy blue scrubs." I shrugged, then realized I had an embarrassing stream of tears running down my cheeks. Shit, I hated crying in front of people.

"Anyway," I sighed, furiously wiping the tears away with the arm of my robe. "It wasn't your job to take care of me, Alice. He's your brother, and you needed to focus on your own grief."

I looked up at the girls, for the first time since I started talking, and saw their own tears. "Shit, I'm sorry, I –"

"That's why I should have been there for you more, Bella. Because no one loved, loves, him more than you."

"It's okay, really. It's over and done, and we're all good. But… please don't tell Edward I remember, okay?"

I was excellent at repressing my emotions, and it had become second nature to shut down every reminder of his funeral. It was, without a doubt, the worst day of my life but I couldn't let him know I remembered every excruciating detail. He felt bad enough that I had to go through it, and I saw the relief on his face every time I told him I didn't remember much.

"Okay," they both sighed at the same time.

I was exhausted now, but sleep was definitely out of the question. I needed a long time before I could close my eyes and not relive the whole ordeal. "Should we, uh, get ready? Maybe go shopping?"

I went to my own room to get ready, grabbing my phone and falling into bed. Edward answered on the first ring.

"Hey," I said softly, feeling my throat constrict.

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah," I sighed. "I just miss you."

"Are you having a good time? Alice and Rose aren't driving you crazy yet?"

"No, we're about to go shopping."

"Buy yourself something utterly indecent to wear for me?"

"You have a one-track mind, Mr. Cullen," I sighed, smiling to myself at his question. Glad he was there to ask it.

We were both quiet for a moment too long. "Are you sure you're okay, Bella?"

His inability not to worry about me made me feel a little better. Not because I wanted him to worry, but because he cared enough to worry. "Yeah, I'm sure. I should go, though. Love you."

"I love you. Have a good time, Bella."

It wasn't as cold as Chicago, but it was still on the chilly side so I pulled on some black jeans that would be uncomfortably tight if they were an inch smaller, a black camisole laced around the edges, and a burgundy three-quarter sleeved biker jacket. I took more time than usual on my makeup, because Vegas seemed like the kind of place that required it.

I'd sat in more makeup chairs than I could count, so a smoky winged eyeliner was a pretty simple task for me. I grabbed my small bag, tossing my phone inside and met the girls in the living room.

Our afternoon was somehow just what I needed after the emotional morning. I was no stranger to stress shopping, but usually I did it online. There was nothing quite like the distraction of spending money to get you to forget all of your other problems.

Our shopping excursion started with actual clothing and eventually moved on to lingerie. I was quickly learning that there were no walls when it came to being friends with Alice and Rosalie, and that no topic was off limits. Even when it was sex with one of their brothers.

"Oh, trust me, Bella, I've heard things. Horrible things," Alice scrunched up her nose when I asked her about it. "You know Edward doesn't have the most… virtuous past."

"Oh, I know," I grumbled, thinking back to all of the stories I had heard and all of the side eyes I had gotten in the past. Women weren't shy about letting me know they wanted my husband, or had him in the past.

We were in the corner of a store with some French name I couldn't pronounce. They were kind enough to empty out the store while we were here, so thankfully we didn't have to worry about any prying ears. Still, Rose leaned in to me when she asked, "Is he in to anything weird?"

"Rose!" I gasped. They had always seemed so… proper before.

"What! It's a valid question! I mean, you said he keeps a drawer stocked with lingerie for you, but there's got to be more than that. The guy had half of the city wanting to fuck him for years."

I thumbed through the rack, not really seeing anything I was looking at. I supposed I had never been great at 'girl talk'. Sure, I had friends and we gossiped, but it was never in so much detail. Maybe it was good to get it out, though?

"He's not in to anything weird," I sighed, smiling to myself a little bit.

"Really? Emmett has a thing for feet."

Somehow, I managed to choke on my own saliva. "What?"

"He – "

"I don't… I don't think I want to know, actually," I laughed to myself.

"Jasper loves corsets. Kind of an old timey vibe? They're a bitch to get in to, though."

"Oh, my God," I whispered to myself, hiding my face in my hands. I wasn't someone who was overly private, I put out songs about sex all of the time, but it was different when you knew this kind of stuff about someone you saw every day.

"See? Edward has to have something."

"I mean…" There was one thing I had noticed, especially lately. I wasn't sure if it was as much of a 'thing' as being in to feet or corsets, though. "I do think he has a thing for the fact that I'm someone a lot of people want." I frowned at myself, but there really wasn't a more humble way to phrase it.

"I can see that," Alice nodded. "Having everyone's fantasy girl? Definitely an Edward kind of thing."

"I wouldn't say – "

"Bella, you're hot. People want you. You don't have to be so modest."

My blush betrayed me, still lingering when we left the store. After our lingerie outing we ended up wandering around a Cartier store. One of the rings caught my eye. It had three intertwining bands of gold, silver, and rose gold, all encrusted in diamonds. I looked over at Alice and Rosalie, realizing they were quickly becoming a couple of the only other people I could confide in besides Edward.

"I'll take three," I told the woman behind the counter. Her eyes bugged out a little, probably counting up the triple digit sale she was about to make, including the watch I had set aside earlier for Edward.

"We've got company," Ben told us as we headed for the door. "I have two guys doing crowd control. I'll take Alice and Rose out first, then come back for you. Okay?"

I nodded and handed him my bags with a frown. Chicago had somehow managed to say mostly paparazzi free. There were phases when people migrated to us to try and get something good, but it was never for very long and it was a complete blessing that it stayed that way. The last time I had to deal with a large crowd of photographers had to have been when I was walking out of the precinct after I was acquitted.

I nervously twirled my wedding rings around my finger, watching through the storefront window as a few flashes went off when Alice and Rose walked out.

Ben came back, staring at me when I made no move to follow him. "It's fine. I've got your back, Bella."

"I know. It's just… Been a long time, I guess."

I wasn't sure what was making me so apprehensive. I lived in Los Angeles for years where I couldn't go get a cup of coffee without a crowd larger than this one following me. I suppose having photographers shout at me every day for a year as I walked in to the courthouse was a wound I never really fixed on the island.

"I won't let anything happen to you," Ben said sternly.

I took a deep breath, opening the door and keeping my eyes on the car that was parked just ten feet away. The flashes were a hundred times brighter than what I saw when Alice and Rose walked out, but I felt Ben's hand on my shoulder, gently pushing me forward when I froze for a moment.

My ears started ringing, which was a bit of a blessing in disguise because it meant I didn't hear anything they were shouting at me. I let out the breath I didn't realize I was holding when I collapsed into the car and Ben slammed the door behind me.

I couldn't help but stare out of the tinted window, watching as more men than I recognized tried to disperse the crowd, all with that look I knew too well. The one that came from working for someone as overprotective and demanding as Edward.

"How many people do you have here?" I asked Ben once he was in the driver's seat.

"I have a team of ten here, along with Alice and Rosalie's details as well," he said, albeit reluctantly.

I stopped myself before I could say something about it being excessive. Because, of course, Edward had been smart to add them because they were needed.

"The boys upped everyone's security years ago, once you and Edward announced your relationship," Alice said, seemingly unfazed by everything.

"They did?"
"Oh, yeah. I mean, I grew up with men in suits following me around, but that number doubled once you came around."

"I'm sorry," I sighed, not knowing what else to say. I knew Ben was constantly by my side, and that Eric was usually wandering around as well, but I had no idea there were ten extra men with us here.

Alice and Rosalie both seemed completely unbothered by the whole thing. "It really is no big deal, Bella. Security and threats are kind of a package deal when you're a Cullen."

"I guess so," I relented.

I was still a little distracted and off when we got back to the suite to get ready for dinner. Alice and Rosalie informed me to wear the dress they convinced me to get earlier. It was black sequins that reflected beautifully when the light hit it, fell off of one shoulder and angled at my thigh, a small train falling to my ankles in the back.

I tried to call Edward as I was changing, but ended up with his voicemail.

An hour later the girls and I were walking into a packed sushi restaurant after surviving another round of camera flashes. Thankfully, this second time was much easier than earlier.

Our dinner was my chance to finally know Alice and Rosalie for themselves, and not who they had to be in Chicago. Rosalie told me how she left home the second she turned eighteen, before she graduated high school because her parents were alcoholics. She worked two jobs for a while, barely scraping by before she met Emmett. She worked at one of Jasper's strip clubs, but met Emmett for the first time at the Starbucks she also worked at. I got to hear about how Emmett would sit in the corner of her store for hours, just to wait for a half hour break with her.

Alice told me about seeing Jasper in a diner late one night when she was in college, eating at a table by himself. She simply sat down across from him and talked to him for hours, something I never would have had the nerve to do, no matter how panty-dropping gorgeous a guy was. Alice's words, not mine.

Hearing their stories, I was surprised that neither Rose or Jasper ever had any problem with Carlisle or Esme. Maybe it was because Emmett was never going to be the one taking over the family, and Alice was never in the family business. Or maybe they just didn't like me.

It wasn't anything new, people not liking me. So, it was easy to get over, even with the knowledge that they accepted Rosalie and Jasper with open arms.

When we finished dinner and I stood up, my head felt heavier than it had earlier and I realized how much I had to drink. I was never a big drinker. I would have a glass of wine with dinner or the occasional social drink, but it was rare for me to get so drunk that Ben had to keep a firm grip on my arm to get me to the car. Or Edward if we were alone.

In the car, with the window down and fresh air billowing in, I was able to clear my head a little bit. We were all still tipsy, to put it mildly, by the time we stumbled back to our suite. We ended up on the large couch on the patio, overlooking the city with another bottle of wine between us. The conversation somehow ended up on me again when Rosalie asked, "Do you get nervous? Going on tour?"

I sighed. "Yeah, definitely. This show especially." We had barely gotten started with it, but I had high hopes for the final outcome. "It's… on a completely different scale to what I've done in the past. I want it to be the best thing I've ever done."

"I can't imagine what it's like, practically the whole world having opinions on everything you do," Alice sighed. "I mean, the Cullen's end up in the paper every now and then, but nothing like you."

There were already articles that said my unannounced tour was going to be a flop, that tickets wouldn't sell and the show would be a mess. Even though I knew I would spend the next five months making sure the show was solid, I had to count on the fact that the fans I had disappointed and left behind the last few years would still be there waiting for me.

"It's definitely… stressful I guess."

We were all quiet for a minute, and I realized that even though Alice and Rose had been nothing but honest with me all day, I was still holding myself back. As much as I was used to only opening up to Edward, I needed to realize that they were in my corner now, too.

All of my worries started tumbling out and I couldn't stop it. My fears about keeping everyone that showed up safe from my fears of not being able to do a show as big as I was planning. My nightmares about going out to empty stadiums and every article being right about the tour flopping.

"You're the hardest working woman I've ever met, Bella," Rosalie said softly. "You've worked yourself into the hospital before if I remember correctly. It just seems… kind of like a given that you'll have a successful tour to me."

"I've had parents from Maggie and Jared's school already asking me to get their kids tickets to see you whenever you're in town," Alice said with a smile. "And we're here if you need to bounce ideas off of anyone, not that we know much about touring in the first place," she finished with a lopsided smile that bared a striking resemblance to Edward's.

The rings I bought earlier suddenly popped into my mind. "Oh, I almost forgot!"

I stumbled over to where I stashed the bag earlier, and pulled out the three boxes, handing one to Alice and Rose. "These are for you."

Both of their eyes widened comically when they saw the rings.

"Bella, this is too much," Alice said, snapping the box shut.

I rolled my eyes at her. "Please. You know your brother has no issue spending ungodly amounts of money on jewelry."

"He used to, you know," Rosalie said, smiling down at her new, sparkling accessory.

"He used to, what?"

"I'm pretty sure you're the only woman he's ever bought jewelry for."

I scoffed, staring down at my own accessories. I had never asked for a price, but I knew the diamonds covering my left ring finger were in the seven-digit range. There was also a box back home that was filled with more diamonds than anyone ever needed. Rings, earrings, necklaces, bracelets that I no longer wore because anything tight around my wrist petrified me, it was all there. All bought by Edward.

"I highly doubt that, Rose," I told her, shaking my head. He was far too good at picking out jewelry to have never done it before.

"Oh, it's true," Alice added. "He really… never gave a shit before. He worked, found a blonde to spend his nights with, and that was it. Those women never got anything more than a t-shirt to go home in."

"That's all he did before?" I asked, suddenly sad. I knew he probably wasn't sad in the moment; he lived the kind of life most men dreamed of, but it was so opposite of who I knew him as.

"Pretty much," Alice sighed. "Once he started working with Carlisle he never really looked back on anything he used to be interested in."

"What did he used to like?"

"He was obsessed with cars. Racing cars, classic cars, modern cars… all of it. Even when he couldn't reach the pedal of a car, he was hanging posters of them on his walls. He used to be obsessed with some one of a kind classic Aston Martin. He's got about three of them now, go figure," she said with a smile and shrug.

I knew he enjoyed cars now. Our garage was full of cars that I had never seen leave the house, including the one I got him for his birthday years ago. I never realized it was a passion left over from his childhood.

"He used to want to be a car salesman, he loved them so much."

I about choked on my wine when she said that. Edward was horrible with people. He could intimidate them like no other, but trying to sweet talk someone into buying a car? It was laughable. And adorable.

"So… embarrassing Edward stories. You must have some, right? I mean, he wasn't always so perfect." I was suddenly itching for more stories about him. I could live without the ones that involved beautiful blondes, but I wanted to know the stuff he would never tell me.

"Oh, I have tons of stories."

…rep…

As expected, things were hectic as soon as I got back from Las Vegas. Dancers were quickly found, rehearsals were started, and I got too busy to be sad about not still being stranded alone with Edward. I had this pang of uneasiness still sometimes, but it was easily ignored.

All afternoon I had been on a conference call with a group of executives from my label, all trying to get me to agree to shit I didn't want to do. I spent a good hour in there daydreaming about what I could be doing now instead of listening to them whine about not making enough money off of me yet. A very vivid memory of one of Edward's birthday's we celebrated on the island floated to my mind. That kind of day was at the top of my list of things I'd rather be doing.

I was supposed to have the excuse of being at rehearsals to get out of this phone call. Then, five minutes into rehearsal, I went and twisted my ankle. Nothing serious, but enough to need to come home, ice it, and not do much for the rest of the day. Unfortunately, that meant I was available to have men in suits with no concept of what I was trying to do with the whole reputation theme tell me what to do.

I was sitting on the couch, ankle propped up and covered in ice, comfortable in a pair of yoga pants and a soft grey pullover. I flipped through a magazine as they continued to go on and on. The front door opened and the group quickly quieted when they realized I was on the phone.

"Oh, you can keep going," I told them, angrily turning the page. I muted the call hours ago so I could do whatever I wanted without them knowing I was paying no attention. "They're not important."

"What the hell happened to you?" Edward asked, coming over to quickly sit on the table beside my foot. He carefully lifted the ice pack, seeming pleased that my ankle wasn't horribly swollen or bruised.

"I just twisted it a little bit. I'm fine," I shrugged.

"You should have called me."

We think it would be beneficial to everyone involved if a deluxe version of the album was released prior to the tour.

I quickly pressed the mute button. "No." I turned back to everyone else, all seated around me now, after muting the call again.

"How'd you do it?" Alice asked, sitting down next to me.

"It's no big deal. I just need to stay off it for the day and I should be fine tomorrow."

"Trip over your own two feet?" Emmett asked, smirking in my direction.

"No," I said defensively, mumbling the rest. "I tripped over a cord."

Edward sighed across from me, a smirk fighting to stay off of his lips.

"I'm not that clumsy." I really wasn't. I was human and I tripped occasionally. Yeah, my trips tended to be in the most embarrassing situations, like at the Oscars or when I had a crew of eighty people watching me, but… whatever.

I frowned at the not-so-quiet chuckles coming from the sudden crowd around me. "What are you all doing here, anyway?"

The press have been itching to sit down with you, a special right before the tour would –

I unmuted the call quickly. "I was very clear about this a year ago, and I haven't changed my mind. No press."

Muting the call again, I turned back to everyone. "So?"

"We were trying to get Edward to stop being so stubborn," Alice huffed.

"What's he being stubborn about?"

"Every spring the Northwestern alumni committee always has a little get together on campus. A chance to butter the hands of any recent or not-so-recent graduate they can get their hands on, and they even invite some current students to talk to the graduates. This year, they came to Alice and I to see if we'd like to help organize this initiative they're starting, a fund to help various places around the city. One of the goals being to keep weapons out of the hands of kids around the city. Especially due to the recent increase in crime in the area," Rose finished, a not-so-subtle glare at Edward when she was done. "It's a giant public relations stunt, but for a good cause."

I frowned at Edward, now relaxed on the couch next to me with his arm stretched out behind me. The picture of ease, not caring at all that he alone caused a notable increase in crime in the city. He shrugged, then had the nerve to wink at me.

"Okay," I replied, confused. "What does that have to do with Edward?" I asked, shifting uncomfortably in my spot.

I actively avoided any kind of news these days. I didn't want to hear anything about myself or Edward, and I knew we were clogging up the news cycle in Chicago. I was the almost-convicted-murderer who had returned and Edward was the man brought back to life. People liked to talk about it. A lot.

But, I also knew exactly what Rose was referring to. I hadn't heard any of the stories myself, but I wasn't stupid. I knew with Edward being back he was going to have to… reinforce his position again. Nothing said I'm back like a pile of bodies of people who fucked him over.

I had been too busy to care about finding the cause of this pang of panic and uneasiness I got since coming back. Sometimes I got it in the morning when I was taking a shower, or sometimes in the middle of rehearsal. There was never a common factor, until I looked over at Edward and saw this sinister smile on his face that made even my blood run cold.

On the island, I never had to worry about him coming home hurt or not coming home at all. Never had to wonder if he was covered in his blood or someone else's. Now, even subconsciously, I was.

"Edward doesn't want to be part of it because he likes the increase in crime."

I huffed to myself, glaring over at him.

"Then," Alice added. "He got Emmett and Jasper on board with his whole idea of not going to the alumni reunion and not supporting the cause."

"I don't have to sit behind a desk and boss people around anymore," Emmett said with a boyish delight. "I get to go out and get my hands dirty again, and decreasing crime in the area sounds boring."

Mrs. Cullen, we really believe it'll be in everyone's best interest if we –

The voices of the men constantly telling me what to do suddenly made me furious. I didn't have the desire or time to deal with them now. I unmuted the call, frowning down at the phone.

"I don't care about everyone else's best interests," I snapped. "Heidi, you can handle everything from here, yes?"

"Of course, Bella."

I hung up, tossing my phone on the table in front of me. Men in suits telling me what to do was the last thing I wanted to think about right now. Of course, I also didn't want to think about my husband enjoying the increase in crime in the city, but it was a more pressing matter.

"So, what are you two going to do about the whole initiative?" I asked Alice and Rosalie.

"Well, we thought talking to the cause of the problem would be a good first step, but he's too stubborn."

I frowned at Edward beside me, twirling a piece of my hair like he didn't care at all about the conversation.

"You don't need them. I can help you."

Alice and Rosalie both beamed at me, and Edward quickly dropped the strand of my hair.

"Bella…" he started, but I didn't let him finish.

"I get that, you know, you all like causing bloodshed and mayhem. But, maybe getting the weapons that you brought in to the city out of the hands of kids who shouldn't have them in the first place should be a priority for you, too."

"Technically you bought the weapons plant," Emmett muttered.

He was right, of course. When the men got arrested Edward was in the middle of a deal with some plant in New York. I was the one that signed the papers and finalized everything, though.

"Technically," I said, mimicking Emmett. "You have a two-year-old son at home. And you," I said, turning my attention to Jasper. "Have two teenagers at home. Maybe keeping yourselves and them safe from weapons in the hands of people who shouldn't have them should be another priority."

"And you," I finished, looking at Edward beside me. "If you come home hurt or dead because of this crime spree you're having so much fun on, I will revive you just so I can kill you myself. Understood?"

I ignored Jasper and Emmett, but couldn't help but notice Edward staring at me. He didn't know about my worries about him, especially because I only really realized them myself about ten minutes ago. It wouldn't take him long to piece everything together, now.

"We don't need them, anyway," I repeated to Alice and Rose.

"Well, usually half of the total donations to these kinds of things are from them," Rosalie muttered.

I could hand over a check that made up for all three men's lack of interest in the cause. I didn't want to simply write a check, though. That would make it seem like I was just tossing money at an issue that I helped cause.

"As long as I can get the venue situated… it would be up to everyone else if they wanted to donate their salary…" I muttered to myself, making a quick plan in my head. "We could open up the final dress rehearsal of the show. Maybe if there are organizations around the city that help kids that are… high risk for turning to drugs or crime we could give them free tickets. Charge everyone else and donate the proceeds."

The girls stared at me for a minute, making me second guess everything. "I mean… if you want. I could just write a check – "

"That would be… amazing, Bella. You really want to do that?"

"Sure," I shrugged. "If it'll help."

With a tentative plan in place I told Alice and Rose I would call them after attempting to check on a few details. I was left sitting on the couch, Edward still beside me. He hadn't said much since asking me about my ankle.

He was probably pissed, and rightfully so. I knew he didn't want anything to do with this whole thing and I stepped in anyway. But, as soon as Alice and Rose started talking about it, I felt like I needed to do something. Because if anything ever happened, if Edward ever came home hurt or didn't come home at all, there would always be a little voice in the back of my head that told me I could have helped to prevent it.

"You don't have to worry about me," Edward said quietly, grabbing one of my hands that was fraying the blanket in my lap.

I just barely suppressed the urge to roll my eyes. Instead, opting to rest my head on his shoulder beside me. "I know what you do for a living, Edward. Of course, I have to worry."

He didn't reply, because I was right. No matter what he said, I would always know what he really did. That was the downside to not having the same kind of mindset as Alice and Rose. It would be so much easier to blindly send Edward off to work each morning, not knowing as many gory details as I did.

Unfortunately, I lost that luxury a long time ago.

"Are you mad at me?" I whispered against his neck.

Edward let out a heavy sigh. "No. You're doing a good thing for a lot of people."

I frowned. "But then why didn't you want to help with it?"

He shrugged. "The weapons are mostly from me, but it won't affect my business at all, getting some of them off of the streets. Alice and Rose were just bugging me."

I choked out a laugh before punching his shoulder. "You really can be a jerk sometimes, you know."

He winked at me, moving quickly from the couch to sit on the table beside my ankle. Edward lifted the nearly melted bag of ice off of it, gently lifting my foot. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes," I sighed. "It really hardly hurt at all. I just didn't want to make it any worse." I twisted my ankle carefully, pleased when there wasn't even the smallest bit of pain or discomfort.

Edward looked up at me, a smile tugging on his lips. "A cord? Really?"

"They're a tripping hazard," I said, my voice getting embarrassingly high pitched as I defended myself.

…rep…

Most people didn't understand my job. Sometimes even I didn't understand it. I knew Edward had trouble wrapping his mind around why I did what I did, or why I cared about the public's perception of me enough to go back to work. It was hard to explain sometimes, why I kept going back to a job that constantly lead to everything I did being overanalyzed and misconstrued.

There were a few reasons for it, though. One being the people. There were a lot of people that had supported my career from day one, and I liked to keep a close eye on them. Even thinking the term fan made me feel a little conceited, but I supposed that was the word for it. When I was practically growing up on movie sets from sixteen on, I spent a lot of time on my phone or computer seeing what they were doing, what normal people my age were doing.

When they tagged me in a photo of them hanging out at a movie theater seeing one of my films, every long night working was worth it. When they started showing me tattoos of my lyrics on their skin every ounce of anger that went into that song went away. Ever since they let me in to their lives I felt a big sense of responsibility to them.

I wanted to do projects they would like, but also ones that were new and challenging for me. I wanted to be a good role model for them, because like it or not that was what I was to a lot of kids. And, I wanted to show them how much I appreciated them whenever I could. It was hard to explain to someone who didn't have a 170 million following on Instagram what that sense of loyalty and responsibility was like.

As odd as it might sound, I missed them while I was gone. I didn't dare get online for a long time after the trial, and I knew any searching would lead to me seeing or reading things I wasn't ready for.

While I did certain things for them, I also did a lot of it for me, too. I truly loved what I did. I loved acting and getting to completely transform myself into another person. Getting to be inside someone else's mind; figuring out what they were thinking or feeling, deciding how they would react and respond to everything life threw at them was exhilarating. I loved transforming my own reactions and traumas into music and solving the puzzle of putting that into a film.

With my personal albums and films, I was able to turn my job into my defense mechanism. Because while I had an army of loyal people behind me, I also had an equally as strong army on the other side that wanted to see me crash and burn. The ones who flooded every one of my socials with a snake emoji when I was incarcerated, the ones who were probably ecstatic to see me falling apart throughout the trial.

For some reason, there was something inside me that refused to let those people win. I could never back down and hide forever. It would tear me apart to have to watch them from afar, let them think they beat me down and won. I knew it was petty and vindictive, but I hated losing.

Now, I had an album that debuted with more copies sold its first week out than any album sold all of last year, a film that finally told the world my point of view, and a stadium tour across the country. Not everyone liked everything, of course. It was impossible to please everyone, but the ones that mattered liked it and that was all I wanted.

With the album and film out of the way, I was finally able to focus solely on the tour. Being a live performer definitely wasn't my forte. I considered myself an actress, first and foremost. I stumbled into the whole songwriting thing, which led to the singing thing, which led to live performances. With acting, I could mess up twenty times before getting everything right once, and that was that. There was a reason I never had any interest in live theater; too much pressure.

Then, I started touring and realized that I was exactly right; live performances were stressful as hell. If I fucked up a live show on tour, I ruined someone's entire night; wasted the hundreds they spent on a ticket and maybe even travel arrangements, and marred what I hoped would have been a wonderful memory for them for years to come.

I was in charge of putting on a multi-million-dollar operation, making every show as perfect as the last for months on end, and it was the kind of thing that people didn't realize was stressful as hell because of how easy it looked.

No one saw the months I spent planning everything in my head before the album was even out.

No one knew how much money and effort was put into making the stages or the visuals for it.

No one could understand the hours the dancers and band and I would put in for months on end before the show was even somewhat presentable. Not to mention the effort put in to the security for each venue, parking and merchandise sales… there was a hell of a lot more going on than just the show.

At night when I would come home, exhausted and stressed, Edward would always give me this look that said are you sure you want to put yourself through this?

My answer was always yes. It would have been easy for me to say fuck it and go on living my life. I had released the album and film, people knew my side of the story now and I was no longer as universally hated as I once was. But it all came back to those people. The ones that stood up for me throughout everything. As much as I was doing this to get my side of the story out, I was doing it for them too. And they deserved a fun, safe place to spend a couple hours to forget their problems.

Even if that meant I spent months locked in a warehouse, covered in bruises while I tried to pretend I had any semblance of coordination. Despite all of the bruises and the falling, rehearsals were genuinely fun; exhausting, but fun. The dancers were talented as hell and all so passionate about what they did it was inspiring. They put up with my clumsiness, all with patient smiles.

I had about a month after the album release to organize everything before rehearsals started. That was the only somewhat normal month I got at home with Edward before our hours officially never matched up.

I got to see him maybe once every few days. We would have dinner or talk about our respective days for a while before I either passed out in bed or Edward had to go to work. The kind of work that had him out in the middle of the night.

It was hard for us to find a balance, especially after we spent years side by side on the island. We weren't used to having distractions from each other, or having to really work at spending time together. Our real-life couple skills were incredibly rusty.

I sighed to myself, walking through Emmett and Rosalie's front door, thinking about how it had been a good forty-eight hours since I last saw him. Rose and Alice typically invited me over for dinner nearly every night, though I only went once or twice a week. It was still taking a lot of getting used to. Being friends with them was quickly becoming second nature but it was also odd seeing them as mothers.

Kids were always a touchy subject for me. Now that I had to be around them? I wasn't sure what to do. I was never a kid person. Never babysat anyone when I was growing up or was around people all that much younger than me at all.

Now I was suddenly called Aunt Bella and it was mildly freaking me out.

"Good, you made it," Rosalie said with a smile. She was curled up in a soft blue chair in her living room, staring down at Alec while he played with the stuffed animals on the floor.

Before I could say anything, the phone rang.

"Oh, it's his doctor's office. I've been trying to get ahold of them all day. Can you watch him for a minute?" Rosalie asked, standing from her seat and grabbing the phone.

"I, uh," I mumbled, staring at her like she had lost her mind. "Be in charge of his health and wellbeing… by myself? I don't think I –"

"Just a couple minutes. I promise," she said with a smile before leaving with the phone.

"Oh, boy," I mumbled, staring down at Alec.

He was completely oblivious that his mother left, focused so intently on the incompressible conversation between the stuffed dog and giraffe he was having. I sat down on the floor beside him, not trusting myself to let him out of my sight. Could he walk? Crawl? What did normal two-year-old's do?

"Hi, Aunt Bella," he said quietly, his words a little bit jumbled. He shoved a stuffed zebra in my hands.

"Hi."

Alec had an entire zoo around him. He went through every stuffed animal he had, telling me what kind of animal it was, and then the name he had for it. My knowledge on child rearing was iffy at best, but it was impressive as hell that he knew the names of all of them.

He looked exactly how I would imagine Emmett looked at two; curly brown hair and mischievous eyes. Before I could get too caught up in how odd it was that Emmett of all people had a baby, the front door opened and Alice walked in with Jared and Maggie.

"Oh, thank God," I breathed out, standing up and collapsing back into the same chair Rose was in before. A moment later, Rose was back too.

"You survived," she said with a laugh.

"Just barely."

They both laughed, but I was just relieved I was no longer the only adult in the room. It was only three minutes but it was three minutes knowing the life of a tiny human was my responsibility and I didn't love it.

The front door swung open yet again, and the sound of three frustrated men floated through the living room.

"Fucker needs to be dealt with."

"We've been trying. He's fucking good, Edward."

The talking stopped when they walked past the full living room.

"I thought dinner was at Jasper's," Edward said, his eyes purposefully not coming anywhere near me.

"Alec wasn't feeling well, so we moved it here," Rose replied with a shrug.

Emmett walked over to greet his wife and child, and Jasper did the same. Edward approached me slowly, leaning down to press a soft, quick kiss to my cheek before turning his back on me.

I turned to Rose once they were gone, headed upstairs to Emmett's office. "They meet at whoever's house we're not at?"

"Usually, yeah. Emmett said it was just to keep out of our way."

I frowned to myself, quickly realizing that was complete bullshit. It was to keep me out of the way. Their 'meetings' were always, always, at our house. Except these days, Edward was hardly home. I assumed they were doing more… recreational activities as opposed to their usual meetings, but apparently I was wrong.

"I'll be right back," I muttered, heading toward the stairs. Edward was coming out of one of the restrooms just as I was coming down the hall.

"Hey," I whispered, catching his attention. He turned around, smiling that crooked smile at me, but it was off. Fake. "Is everything okay?"

"Fine," he said, his voice monotone and flat.

Once I was right in front of him, I got a quick peck before he tried to turn around. I grabbed his hand before he could go.

"Edward – "

"I'm just busy, Bella. Go enjoy your dinner," he told me, slightly more convincing than before. His fingers brushed my cheek softly, and I got a few soft kisses before he turned away.

Once I got back downstairs I faked a migraine and went home. I paced my own living room, trying to think of anything that would give me a clue as to why Edward would avoid me. How long had he been avoiding having his meetings here? Was he avoiding me or was he just stressed being back to work?

It was hours later that he got home and I still had no answers. I had settled myself in bed a while ago and pretended to be asleep when Edward got in bed. The only reason I was able to fall asleep was because, even with whatever was going on with him, he still made sure to wrap his arms around me before he fell asleep.

…rep…

I sighed to myself, tossing my lipstick into my small clutch and grabbing my baby blue coat from the bed. Esme had convinced Edward to let her throw a party at her house in honor of his comeback. Personally, I thought it was just so she could get attention and pity from all of her friends. Edward sure as hell didn't care about a coming home party in his honor. Maybe I was just being cynical, though.

It had been a few weeks since my run in with Edward at Rosalie's and it was still bothering me. We never really talked about it, just went on with our odd routine. I was nearly at my breaking point, though.

When Edward mentioned this party Esme was throwing, he told me I didn't have to go. It was going to be a lot of people I didn't want to be around, namely people that he worked with. But, I insisted on going because I just wanted a few hours of being beside my husband. Pathetic, but true.

I didn't care that it was a black-tie event, for no apparent reason than women trying to one-up each other, and I didn't care that Edward suspected a few members of the Volturi family might be there. So, I put on my baby blue chiffon dress and plastered on a smile.

Edward emerged from his office, where he had been sequestered ever since I got home, just as I was walking downstairs to leave.

"Everything okay?" I asked him while he grabbed his keys and ran a hand through his hair, a hopeless attempt to get it to settle down.

"It will be," he told me, looking down at me with a smile that seemed oddly forced. I ignored it for now, though, because he gave me a soft kiss and it made my head foggy.

I watched him drive through the neighborhood toward his parents' house, reminiscing on the time we had together on the island. It was kind of like we were different people now; Edward was back to being the Edward everyone feared and I was back to working too much and being stressed about anything and everything.

"I miss you," I sighed into the silence, nervously twirling my wedding rings around my finger.

Edward pulled into the driveway, turning the car off and looked over at me. He seemed confused at first, but after a minute he softened. "I miss you, too."

He opened his mouth to say more, but impatient pounding on the window interrupted us.

"Come on, golden boy!" Emmett's muffled voice sounded from outside the car. I looked at the house while Edward and Emmett talked briefly. It was more ostentatious than our home. There were expensive cars littering the driveway, and the people inside were likely pissed that Edward Cullen was back in town.

I didn't want to hate Esme. It would have made our lives a lot easier if we got along, but that was impossible. All of the backhanded compliments, the way she never failed to tell me I wasn't good enough for Edward, her inability to put aside her wants for her son would always cloud my judgement of her. If it was petty or vindictive of me to hold those things over her after all these years, then so be it.

She wasn't throwing this party because she was relieved to have her son home. She was throwing the party because she wanted attention and sympathy from her friends for all of her so-called struggles.

"I'm sorry," Edward whispered in my ear as we walked in. I squeezed his hand.

Once we were inside, Esme spent a good five minutes talking to Edward before she acknowledged my presence. "Bella, dear, you look well."

"Thank you," I sighed, nervously tucking my hair behind my ear. I wasn't necessarily nervous about being around Esme, but just nervous in general. This whole Edward situation made me feel… vulnerable. And I didn't like it at all.

"Well, you kids help yourself to the food, have a drink, and try not to be too wrapped up in each other okay? These people are here to see you, Edward."

I bit my tongue, thinking about how Edward would have no problem not spending too much time around me tonight.

"Edward, my boy, good to see you," a man said, coming up and shaking Edward's hand.

"George, nice to see you," Edward replied, the softness falling from him. I knew better than to think I'd get many soft smiles or wandering hands at a place like this. It wasn't hard to see that these weren't friends. These were business associates. Some legal, some probably not so legal. I'm sure Carlisle helped Esme with the guest list.

"Come on, Bella." Rosalie appeared out of nowhere, grabbing my arm and leading us toward the formal living room with the stiff furniture and gossiping women.

I tried my best to keep from pouting. These events were completely sexist. The men would stand to the side, talking about business, while the women would sit in the living room gossiping. A complete cliché that I wasn't excited to be part of tonight.

It wasn't that I was completely antisocial. I could socialize when I wanted to, these just weren't the kind of women I wanted to spend time with. I'd gone to enough of these functions to know that.

Besides, women tended not to like me. Especially ones that saw themselves as the stars of the night. No one needed to be wearing a thirty-thousand-dollar designer dress to a party like this, but I could point out more than a few runway ready dresses in here. To them, they were the top of the top and I was competition. Although, to be fair, my dress was absurdly expensive as well.

Not that I cared about the Chicago social scene. But they didn't understand not caring. It was a complicated, viscous circle that I wanted nothing to do with, but I had been forced in the middle of it since I was twenty-one.

I sat between Rosalie and Alice, keeping a polite smile on my face. The good thing about my job was that I could out act any one of these women. They probably thought they were fantastic at pretending to like each other or acting like an insult didn't really insult them, but I could see right through that. They, however, couldn't see through me.

"It's lovely to finally meet you, Bella. You and Edward haven't been around much since you've gotten back," a woman who looked vaguely familiar said from across the table. From her greeting I obviously hadn't met her, which was a relief because I was completely blanking on a name.

"We've both been busy," I told her with a shrug. Edward hated these events just as much as I did. Now that he was in charge and our world wasn't crumbling around us, he could pick and choose which events he wanted to go to, as opposed to having Carlisle tell him he had to make an appearance everywhere.

"Hmm. I hope Edward's not getting too busy," she sighed, looking around at some of the other women who nodded in response, like some inside joke I wasn't aware of.

"Their marriage isn't like that, Audrey," Rosalie snapped.

"Oh, please. I've known Edward longer than you, Rosalie. I know what he's like."

"He's not like that with Bella, hasn't been like that in a long time," Alice spoke up, looking over at me hesitantly.

Every instinct I had was telling me I didn't want to know what they were talking about, but that didn't stop me from asking, "Like what?"

"I'm sure you know of his past, sweetheart," one of the women beside Audrey said. There were few things as frustrating as a woman not five years older than you calling you sweetheart. "He's never been good at monogamy."

So, they were all under the assumption that my husband was cheating on me. Wonderful. "I – "

"There's nothing to be ashamed of, Bella. Most men like that stray, at least from time to time. I mean, I adore my husband but I know I'm not the only woman he's fucked in the last month. It just… happens," Audrey said with a shrug, taking a sip of her champagne.

"Christ," I muttered to myself.

"Not all marriages are like that, Audrey. Some men enjoy what they have at home," Rosalie countered. I was nearly one-hundred percent sure Emmett and Jasper didn't have women on the side. I wouldn't put it past Carlisle to have had cheated on Esme in the past, though.

I knew Edward had a colorful past. I'd had women stare at me for hours across a room only to realize they were glaring at me because Edward was beside me, obviously pining for him. I had two men in my past, and he had half of Chicago. It was frustrating, yes, but there was no doubt in my mind he wasn't cheating on me. Even with the issues we were having now.

"My husband isn't cheating on me," I declared, ignoring the looks of pity I got from a few of the women.

"Oh, honey, if you think Edward Cullen was celibate for a year while you were locked up, or that he's not going to find some younger model in a year or two, you're more delusional than the tabloids say."

"My husband isn't cheating on me because he knows I would kill any woman that put her hands on him, followed by making damn sure he could never fuck anyone else ever again," I hissed. It was a thinly veiled threat to every woman listening to drop the subject, but also to never even think about going near my husband. I didn't doubt him, but that didn't mean I wanted them falling all over him if they thought he was open for business.

Besides, a threat of murder and violence from a woman who was already on trial for it once was pretty convincing. I grabbed the glass of wine in front of Alice and downed it quickly. I'd regret it later, but I needed something to get through the rest of the night. I typically avoided drinking when I was rehearsing and on tour, but this seemed like an exception that needed to be made.

"Excuse me, ladies," I sighed, getting up from the lion's den and heading from room to room until I found one that was empty, save for a few teenagers that looked to be avoiding the party just like me.

Our sanctuary room seemed like an odd mixture of a library and an office. There was a beautiful baby grand piano in the corner that I sat down behind. I tinkered with a few of the keys, pleased to find out it was in tune.

I hummed to myself softly, sometimes singing, while I played, thankful for the way it made the accusations from a few minutes ago fade from my mind.

"My baby's fit like a daydream, walking with his head down I'm the one he's walking to. So, call it what you want, yeah, call it what you want to."

"That's one of my favorites," Edward whispered, sitting on the bench beside me. He ran a couple fingers along my arm, resting his hand on top of mine.

"What's wrong?" I asked, once I looked around and noticed the small cluster of teenagers that was here before were gone. Either I scared them off, or Edward did.

"Nothing is –"

"Please don't lie to me," I sighed, too tired of everything to keep the sadness out of my voice. I wanted us to get back to normal, and we couldn't do that with whatever it was hanging over his head.

Edward looked at me for minutes, his eyes never leaving mine and so intense I felt my cheeks start to heat up. I also saw the uncertainty in him, saw the stress he'd been under for so long but had been keeping it to himself.

"Not here," he told me, sounding too defeated for my liking. He let out a deep breath and let his forehead drop against mine. I sighed against his lips when he pressed them to mine, because it felt like I had my husband back for the first time in weeks.

"Let's get out of here," he whispered against my lips.

I pulled back, frowning. "We can't just leave, Edward."

"Of course, we can."

"This party is for you."

"We both know the party isn't about me." He was right. He'd been in here with me for a good twenty minutes and no one had come looking for him yet.

"The second we walk back in there someone is going to pull you away."

"We're adults, Bella," Edward said, getting up and walking over to the window opposite of the piano. "We can sneak out through the window with dignity."

"You want to sneak out the window?" I whisper-shouted.

"I used to do it all the time. Do you know how many times I came to dinner to find a prim and proper young woman expecting to be my wife waiting for me? I know Esme started sealing up some of the windows, but I never come in here so…" With a firm pull, Edward got the window open and slid it up. A triumphant smile covered his face when he looked back at me.

I walked over to the window tentatively. It seemed completely inappropriate and rude to ditch the party being thrown for Edward, but he was right. It wasn't really about him. And the thought of not having to go back in there was more than a little appealing.

Edward slid out of the window quickly and gracefully. Thankfully we were on the first floor. I bunched up my dress, attempting to climb out the window in the most graceful way possible.

"I've seen it all before, baby," Edward said with a smirk, holding his hand out to me.

I grabbed his hand and maneuvered as carefully as I could, attempting to keep some semblance of modesty. Once my feet plopped on the ground Edward quietly slid the window shut. He grabbed my hand and maneuvered us through the bushes and trees until we were out front, surrounded by cars. The drive home was quiet, but not the awkward silence like on our way here.

Once we were inside our own, blissfully empty home, I plopped down on the couch in the living room. Esme and Carlisle's home was a work of art, but there was nothing homey about it. It wasn't comforting or welcoming, which is what I wanted in a house. I liked to think our place wasn't like theirs, though I'm sure there were people who would never dare set a foot inside of it.

I pulled off my uncomfortably tall heels, tucking my legs underneath me. When Edward sat beside me, a crystal glass with amber liquid in his hand, I waited.

And waited.

And waited some more.

"It can't be that bad," I said, glancing over at him. He was hunched over the couch, elbows on his knees twirling his cup in one hand.

I had a handful of nervous ticks I was aware of. I picked at my nails and tugged at the sleeves of my shirts or jackets until they were falling apart. They were sometimes a daily occurrence for me, but Edward never seemed nervous. Or he never let me know he was nervous.

Now, though, one leg was bouncing softly and his fingers were tapping against the glass of his forgotten drink.

"As long as you haven't slept with someone or crossed any kind of line that could be construed as cheating, I think my threshold for getting upset at things is pretty low."

Edward looked over at me, brow raised. "The only thing I could do to make you mad is cheat on you?"

"I mean, to make me really mad, probably. I don't love the fact that you come home covered in blood or leave dirty towels on the bathroom floor but I'm not furious about it, either," I shrugged.

"See," Edward said, shaking his head. He dropped the glass on the table and leaned back against the couch, turning in my direction. "Any other woman would be furious at me for being an asshole the last month. But all you want is the reassurance that I'm not fucking someone else?"

"No," I corrected. "I want answers. But I just thought it would make it easier on you if you knew that was where my line was drawn."

"Ever since," Edward sighed, returning to his hunched over position. "Hell, practically since the first night I met you I wanted to take care of you. Make you smile, make sure you were safe. And, evidently, it's not something I'm very good at."

I scooted closer, wrapping an arm through one of his to pull him up to look at me. He kept going before I could interrupt.

"You've been shot, publicly persecuted because of your relationship with me, and nearly sent to prison because of me. And now…"

He flinched out of my hold, tossing his drink on the table and shooting up from the couch. I watched him pace behind the couch, muttering to himself. Pulling at his hair. Back and forth and back and forth until I couldn't take it anymore.

"Now?"

"Now, this fucker thinks you're his to take."

None of that made any sense to me. "What?"

Edward leaned over the back of the couch, and I turned to face him. Grabbing one of his tensed hands and squeezing, waiting.

"There's a man named Cory Burke who has been sending you verifiable threats the last month. I was hoping I could eliminate the issue before I had to worry you with it. He's ex-military, though, and knows how to hide."

"Oh." That wasn't what I was expecting. At all.

"Ben knows. You've had extra men added to your security detail for weeks. I just told them to stay hidden so it didn't worry you."

"So… you've been avoiding me to try and protect me from a potentially violent stalker?"

"I wasn't avoiding you," he told me, turning his head away from me. "Not on purpose. I just… fucking hate myself for letting something like this happen."

"Edward." I sat up on my knees, putting a hand to his cheek to get his attention. "You can't blame yourself for it. This happens to a lot of people on my career path. It's nothing you could have prevented, no matter how hard you tried."

I had about a hundred questions running through my mind, but I could tell questioning wasn't something Edward could handle right now. He looked so disappointed in himself and I hated it.

"I think there's half a pizza left over in the fridge," I said, falling back down on to the couch. "Are you hungry? I'm starving."

As much as it was a distraction for him, I really was starving. Rehearsing for eight to ten hours a day was exhausting, and the finger foods that Esme served were each about the size of my pinky.

I headed to the kitchen, making sure Edward was following. I smiled up at him when I pulled the pizza box out of the fridge, hopping up on the counter beside it.

Edward leaned against the counter opposite of the one I was sitting on, staring at me with questions in his eyes as he ate his own slice of cold, delicious pizza.

I was still itching to ask questions, but I decided to hold back until tomorrow. Instead, I enjoyed my pizza and the fact that I wasn't still stuck listening to gossipy women and watching Edward talk to men I knew wouldn't hesitate to put a bullet in his chest.

"Do you like events like that?" I asked before I knew what came out of my mouth.

"Like, what? Tonight? Fuck, no. I've been going to shit like that since I was twelve."

I smiled at his honesty. "We haven't gone to any since we've been back."

I knew, before, events like that were kind of part of Edward's job description. Before all hell broke loose, we were at fancy, mind-numbingly boring things like that a few nights a week.

Edward was quiet for a minute before answering. "I don't want to do things like Carlisle. I don't need to work for connections like him… I'm more about action, he was more about appearances."

That was all news to me. Again, I had to keep most of my questions to myself. Tomorrow was for answers and tonight was for getting my husband back.

I did allow myself one, innocent question, though. "So, we don't have to go to functions every other night and I don't have to pretend to be friends with those women?"

"No functions, no fake friends," Edward sighed, leaning back and taking a bite of pizza.

I smiled across the kitchen at him, because that plan was him in a nutshell. He didn't like relying on other people and didn't want to have to care about them in general. Even I could tell Carlisle was more in to the social game than the game game.

Patting my hands clean over the pizza box I hopped off the counter, not hesitating to press myself firmly against Edward and stare up at him until he got the hint to lean down a kiss me. Really kiss me, not the pathetic pecks and brushes that I had gotten the last month.

"Come on," I mumbled against his lips, making a conscious effort to pull myself away. I grabbed Edward's hand and pulled him through the house, up the stairs behind me.

Edward slammed our bedroom door shut behind him as soon as we were inside, and a moment later I was pressed between the door and him. Hands wandered and tongues tangled.

"Finally," I groaned when he gave me a second to breathe, trailing his kisses down my neck and along my collarbone.

He looked up at me, an unspoken question on his face.

"You haven't really kissed me or touched me or even sent me a dirty text message in weeks," I admitted, feeling my traitorous blush creep up my necks and cheeks.

Most women probably wouldn't have appreciated them, maybe thought it was demeaning or inappropriate, but in the first few weeks when we were back from the island I got gloriously filthy text messages every day while Edward was working. If we were lucky they led to us meeting at home and reenacting them, but in the last few weeks they had disappeared.

"I sincerely apologize for that, Mrs. Cullen," Edward groaned against my neck. I swear I felt his lips twitch into a smile against my skin.

I turned us around, pulling Edward by his tie over to the sitting area of our room. Our arms got in each other's way when I tried to get his jacket and shirt off and he was attempting to find the zipper of my dress, but eventually I got him half naked down to his dress pants, seated on the couch in front of me.

We were nowhere near even, considering all Edward had to do was push my dress down my shoulders to get me to a strapless bra and panties, but I didn't mind.

I sighed to myself as soon as I situated myself in his lap. With my legs on either side of his hips and my arms draped loosely around his shoulders I was in a position I knew most of the women I was talking to tonight probably wished they were in.

Sure, it was petty, but the thought sent a surge of pride through my stomach because I was the one he chose.

"God damn you're…" Edward sighed, eyes not shy about roaming over my body. He shrugged to himself, giving me my favorite lopsided grin. "Fucking hot, to be honest."

I smiled at him for a moment before falling against him, kissing the smirk off of his face. It had been a long time, by our standards, since we had any kind of intimacy and making out on the couch for a while sounded fan-fucking-tastic to me.

During our time on the couch I managed to even out the score, getting Edward out of his remaining clothing. By the time Edward got frustrated with the lack of space on the couch and tossed me on to the bed there was only a scrap of lace around my hips left between the two of us.

"I love you," Edward whispered against my chest, kissing and nipping his way down my body, getting rid of the last piece of fabric in his way.

"Edward," I sighed, my hips bucking in his direction when he placed the softest kiss to my clit. He wrapped his arms around my thighs, situating me just how he wanted, and I knew he was going to take his time torturing me.

I knotted my fingers in his hair, scratching his scalp to get a wonderful growl from him. There was a ringing from somewhere, but it ended quickly and I was distracted by the steady pump of his fingers inside me.

The ringing started again, and I saw Edward's phone lighting up on the bedside table. I fumbled with it, groaning when I saw Alice's name. I silenced the phone, but it quickly started ringing again.

"Hold on," I grumbled, trying and failing to sit up.

"Just turn it off," Edward grumbled, nipping at my thighs.

"What if it's important?" My rational side was in an intense battle with my sexually frustrated side.

More ringing made me growl myself and answer the phone quickly. "What, Alice?"

"Oh, Bella. Edward let you answer his phone? Jasper doesn't let me answer his. Probably because I did once and it was this guy who – "

"What do you want, Alice?" I grunted, trying unsuccessfully to get a reprieve from Edward's enthusiastic tongue and fingers.

"Esme is pissed Edward left. She didn't mention you, of course, but she took all of us to the library to reprimand us, like we could control Edward. I mean, maybe if she was nicer to you, Edward would stick around more, you know? Anyway, I just wanted to make sure you guys were okay. After what the girls said - "

"We're fine," I croaked, holding the phone away from me for a second so Alice didn't hear the moan Edward coaxed out of me at the most inopportune time.

"Okay, well, if you want to talk – "

"I'm fine, Alice. Thank you," I stuttered out, turning the phone off quickly and tossing it aside.

"That was mean," I grumbled, my toes curling when Edward doubled his efforts. He left me right on the edge of a release, crawling up my body slowly, leaving sloppy kisses along my abdomen and breasts before pressing the smallest kiss to the tip of my nose.

"You're the best thing to ever happen to me. You know that, right?" he whispered to me, his voice ragged but his eyes soft.

I relaxed underneath him, every ounce of stress or worry disappearing. I hugged him close, not wanting any space between us, my nails biting the skin of his back when he slowly entered me.

We were in our own perfect cocoon, wrapped beneath blankets and around each other. Edward's movements were slow but powerful and I let him consume me; mind, body, and soul. There was no room in our little sanctuary for worries or doubts or fears. For tonight, all we had to focus on was each other.

…rep…

Hours later, after a few toe-curling orgasms and a hot shower, I collapsed back in bed beside Edward. He had that goofy grin on his face that lasted a good hour or two after sex and I used the last bit of energy I had to lean up and kiss it before falling into my spot, nestled underneath the fluffy comforter and underneath his arm.

"Edward?" I asked sleepily.

"Hmm?"

"I always feel protected, you know. When you're around or Ben or whoever," I said quietly.

"Bella…"

"We don't need to talk about the issue now. I just… wanted you to know. And know that I appreciate it."

Tomorrow would be full of talking about our issues, but I didn't want him going to sleep thinking he failed. He responded, I think, but I was already asleep.

A/N: Finally, huh? This is going to be a three part outtake, taking place after reputation and before Dark Paradise. Because each part is about 20k words, I figured it would make more sense to give them their own story. Part 2 will be up next week. Hope you all enjoy the ride!

I do want to let you know that there is the mention of threats in the next chapter. If you have certain triggers to any kind of threatening or bodily harm, you might want to skip the first section. It is very mild, but I didn't want to unintentionally sent anyone off.

Lyrics in the end of this chapter are from Call It What You Want by Taylor Swift.