Raven didn't want to admit she liked Jo Harvelle.

Jo was a fun person to hang out with. Though, a lot of them hanging out right now was for a case. Raven had to fight back feeling nostalgia while Jo twirled a knife in her fingers. She tried to focus more on the case in front of her, ignoring how the feelings of pain worsened.

Darcy would've put together a case like this too. She would get so excited before showing Raven. The first few times had been so sloppy, with little details here or there missing. Raven remembered how annoyed Darcy had looked when Raven pointed it out. Raven had helped her make them better. They were as good as Raven's work reports.

This report from Jo Harvelle was so close to it. Raven was fighting back feelings the whole while.

Twice in this whole mess Raven stayed up late with Jo, just looking over the case. A case where the enemy was literally America's first known serial killer, what would've been Darcy's favorite episode were it not for the feelings throughout 'No Exit'.

But Jo Harvelle was fun. Jo Harvelle had spunk. She wanted to prove herself. She wanted to show her mom she was a good hunter. Jo wanted to prove she was capable, but on her own kind of capable. Outside of her mother and father's skills. Jo wanted to be respected on her own merits.

And that hurt Raven to see. It hurt so much.

It made it so hard not to like Jo.

At least she was blonde. That made the disconnect easier in Raven's mind.

==GMB==

Even through all of it, having all those memories of Darcy pounding in her head, Raven was surprised by the reminder to hate John Winchester.

It came from the stern glare of Ellen. The woman had already lost so much to the Winchesters. Raven didn't blame her rage. Given the story, Raven could agree with it. John did a lot of wrong in that with Jo's dad. From Ellen's perspective, Sam, Raven, and Dean did the same thing. The only difference was that Sam and Dean had this whole thing...what was it...empathy.

Oh also Jo was a capable fighter who took down the ghost no problem. John probably gave Jo's dad a half assed explanation with no time to really prepare against what they were fighting.

All aboard the We-Hate-John Winchester-Fan Club! We have t-shirts.

The three of us were waiting awkwardly outside. After Ellen Harvelle snaps at you to walk out, you walk out.

It was maybe ten minutes later before Jo walked out. Well not walking. That was angry stomping right there.

As much as I wanted to be a supportive friend, I knew my input wouldn't help that argument. It would be better to hang back with Sam.

"That bad, huh?" Dean asked Jo.

"Not right now." Jo warned.

"What happened?" Dean asked. Jo ignored him. "Hey, talk to me." He reaches out for her.

Jo whirled around, throwing his arm off her. "Get off me!"

Dean was a Good Guy. He listened. "Sorry. See you around." He turned back towards Sam and I, making to walk.

Jo stopped him. "Dean. It turns out my dad had a partner on his last hunt. Funny, he usually worked alone; this guy did too, but... I guess my father figured he could trust him. Mistake. Guy screwed up, got my dad killed."

I blew out a quiet breath, crossing my arms over my chest.

"What does this have to do with-" Dean asked.

Jo interrupted with that fierce Harvelle glared. "It was your father, Dean."

"What?"

"Why do you think John never came back? Never told you about us? Because he couldn't look my mom in the eye after that, that's why." Jo explained with a passionate rage.

"Jo."

"Just... just get out of here. Please, just leave." Jo requested.

Dean was a Good Guy. So he made sure Sam and I climbed into the Impala so he could make that getaway.

==GMB==

We drove in relative silence until lunch. Dean stopped us at a bar. This was fine, I could use a drink. Apparently Dean was ahead of me.

Sam went to grab a newspaper, searching for our next case maybe. I was sitting with Dean, drinking beers.

"So what? We not gonna talk about it?" Dean asked.

"Well I know my birthday date was over the week, but I'm learning to let it go since that was apparently a lie. I'm coping with it. I'm gonna have a proper birthday with Sam in May. Is this you doing a double birthday? Because I am okay with that." I replied. It was only kinda a lie, it was September 24th. I could bullshit something together to avoid my sales pitch.

Dean put down his beer with more force than was necessary. "No. I know you wanna say it. So say it."

"...I wanted the beer with lime." I lied.

Dean glared at me. I pressed my lips together.

"Come on. You're always the first one to talk about how shitty Dad was. This is your whole thing. Go ahead. What's stopping you?" Dean argued.

"It upset you when I did that." I replied.

"That never stopped you before!" Dean argued back. He had a drink from his beer, glaring out the window rather than look at me.

Awkwardly, I had some of my beer. Darcy would so want to start some shit right now. She'd encourage me to say awful things about John. It was no hardship on me. I could go on for hours.

"It's a low hanging fruit. It's less fun." I admitted.

Dean huffed. "Right. Low hanging fruit. My dad gets someone else killed, and you don't have anything to say."

There's a lot I wanted to say. Especially to Dean. 'I know what he asked of you.' 'I know he told you to kill us.' 'I know how much it's tearing you apart and how much it hurts me that it hurts you.'

"My sister and I, we had this deal." I began explaining. Because while my birthday wasn't the same, Darcy's was. "She was a vamp. It had to be done. She ever gets too crazy, too much like the monsters we hunted, it was my job to take her down."

Dean suddenly got quiet.

"She was...it was close." I sipped on my drink again. It had happened. I'd killed her twice. She threatened Lilac, her own niece. That was practically begging me to end her. How could I do anything else? "Some days I think she really wanted me to kill her. Spare her any pain. I would've done it- I'd do anything for that drunk idiot. Even if it hurt me, especially then, I would help her. Because she was family, and I don't hurt family unless there's no other choice."

I looked over at Dean. The hunter was looking out a window, avoiding my eyes. "You would've killed your sister?"

I did. Twice.

And I still remember the screams.

"We both agreed. If she ever reached that point, she stopped being my sister. She never wanted to hurt me. And if she did...really hurt me...killing her was a mercy." I explained.

She would sell me to Satan for a corn chip.

Not even a good corn chip either.

But...but she knew how I got...on my bad days where all I could feel was guilt. She hated those days. She would've said anything to make that guilt less.

"In the end it didn't matter. She's gone anyway." I sipped my beer again. "And killing her didn't solve the problem. It just made me wish I'd done more to stop it."

Dean sipped his beer. He lowered it, carefully. "Do you-"

"Hey guys." Sam interrupted. He took a seat at our booth, dropping the newspaper in front of us. "Get this-"

He went on to explain a possible new case. At no point did Dean and I restart our conversation. This wasn't the place.

Later I poured one out for Darcy. She never liked the lime ones.