They were too late to do anything but stand there and watch the doctors take Buck away into the operating room. The flatline still ringing in their ears as he was whisked away. Eddie didn't want to leave Buck's side but he knew that he had to. Eddie didn't let go of Buck's hand, even when the doctors and nurses were demanding him to, he didn't want to, but as the doctors ran faster, Eddie was having a hard time keeping up with them. He wanted-no-he needed to feel Buck somehow. And if holding his hand was the only way to make sure he was still with him then he'll hold it forever if he had to.

Eddie's arm is stretching as long as it can go but Bobby comes up from behind and forces him to stop running. Eddie screams in denial as Buck is taken behind to where he can't go. Eddie falls to the floor on his knees, still reaching out to where they took his Evan. Hen and Chim come in front of him and help him onto his feet. He's unable to stand on his own so they drag him back to the waiting room and gently coax him into sitting in a chair. They disperse but they don't leave his side, Chim still has a hand on his shoulder while Hen is holding his hand.

"Eddie..." He looks up and he sees Athena in front of him.

"Hey Athena..." Eddie says, his voice trying not to break. The sergeant kneels in front of Eddie and takes his head in her hands and he lets out some tears. He lets out a shaky sob as Athena brings him in for a tight hug that are rare, but you can't help but feel so safe in. Athena wraps her arms around Eddie while Bobby does the same.

"I can't lose him...I can't lose Evan. I love him I-I can't-" Eddie says in between sobs. Athena runs a hand up and down his back.

"You won't baby, you won't. He's Buck, he's survived worst"

He survived everything the universe threw at him, but will he survive what everyday life throws at him?

Eddie wonders as Athena pulls out of the hug to look Eddie in the eye:

"We looked at camera footage from Maddie's house, we will be able to find who did this. Looking at the footage, we found-" Athena is interrupted when a doctor comes in the waiting room. Everyone instantly untangles themselves from the group and stands to greet the doctor. Eddie feels the hand on his back, Bobby grounding him to the present, but how he wished he wasn't here when he heard what happened next. He heard what the doctor was saying but he wished it wasn't true.

He knew who shot them, it was the promoter from the fights. The guy that yelled at him not to call the police. Wayne Camargo was at Maddie's house when they were attacked. Wayne pulled the trigger but it might as well have been Eddie. He should not have gone out that night, hell he never should have been going out to fight.

Because if he didn't then Buck would be alive right now and he wouldn't have to bury the man he wanted to make his husband...

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The funeral is a painful event.

Maddie's sobbing in the front of the church even though Buck wasn't the most religious person. The city-wide fireman's funeral was possible because even though he didn't die in the line of duty, he protected someone and that was enough for Bobby to convince the chief to let them bury him like the others they've lost.

Maddie was next to Chim who was letting tears run down his face, he lost his future brother-in-law before he could ask him to be his best man. Hen lost her best little pseudo-brother before her future child with Karen can meet their famed Uncle Buck. Athena being the rock for Bobby as he was when she caught Emmett's killer. She mourned the boy she hated at first but learned to love him as a son. She saw the potential he had if he just got his shit together, and she was so proud of the person he became. Bobby hadn't cried so hard since Marcy and his kids, but it almost is the same. He lost another one of his kids, he saw Buck as a son. Since Buck asked him to help with his tie, he saw him as a son and now he's gone.

Eddie, oh Eddie was a silent mess. He remembers, before they closed the casket, he took Buck's hand one last time and he slipped a pair of dog-tags into the hands of the one person he couldn't follow. It showed the date they meet and an inscription on one of the tags:

I'll always have your back

I'll always love you

I'll marry you

~Eddie Diaz~

Eddie drives his son, abuela, and tia to the cemetery where they are going to lay Buck to rest. His tia and abuela are trying their best to console Christopher, but he hasn't said a word this whole time. He was never silent, not even when his mother died, he was crying and he was at least talking to them. But Christopher wasn't saying anything, not even crying. They pulled up to the side of the cemetery and slowly made their way to the awaiting hole in the ground. The trumpets are playing as he is handed an American flag that was covering the casket on the way over. He took it and he felt a tug on his pants. He looked down and he saw Christopher looking at the flag, Eddie handed it to him and Christopher held it as tightly as he could.

" Mijo...it's ok to feel sad..." Eddie says this and he sees his son's eyes well up with tears and he finally lets himself feel sad. Christopher wanted to be strong like his Buck, but he remembered when Buck told him that it was ok to feel things. It doesn't make you a bad person when you allow yourself to cry. So that's what he did, he cried for his papa, his Buck, and the one that helped him when his mama died. Christopher wished he was able to call Buck papa, but he never got to ask and now he will never be able to. Eddie scoops Christopher up in his arms and he feels the wetness of the tears on his shoulder and he holds him close. He cried with his son, both of them never want to see this day where they have to bury their Buck. They wanted to spend every second with their sunshine, but now it's gone.

He hears the music stops and he hears the bulldozer over to his right when he looks to the side, he sees that they are ready to drop the dirt in the ground. Eddie pulls a shuddering breath as he was expected to say some final words as everyone already had. Before he spoke up, he heard his son speak up.

"I'm going to miss my Buck...I wanted him to be my other dad, I just hope he's happy with mama..." Christopher says and it breaks everyone's heart.

"Buck was a dreamer, he was always destined for big things, and no matter what life threw at him, he was always able to come out on top. When we first met, he wasn't nice to me, but I learned it was because he was jealous, even though he had nothing to be jealous about. After Shannon left the first time, I told myself to never let anyone in the home we've created, but when Buck went above and beyond what was never asked of him, and he wormed his way into my heart. When Shannon came back, I was so scared that Buck wouldn't feel what I felt so I ran from the feelings. I dated Shannon again, and when it didn't work out and she died...Buck was there. He was always there, even when I didn't ask or want him to be, he was there for me, for my son. He was incredible that way..." Eddie takes a second to wipe his tears away and clear his throat.

"Buck wasn't without his faults, no one is. His main issue was having a heart of gold. That's not a bad thing, but when someone hurt him, he was so quick to forgive them because he didn't want to be at fault with anyone and he hated drama. He loved people way too much and it left him vulnerable to being heartbroken and when we finally told each other how we felt, I promised him that I would be the first and last person to love him enough to never leave him. He was my best friend before anything else, and I-" Eddie let out a sob "I think I'm going to spend the rest of my life missing him" Eddie then nods indicating that he's done when he feels a hand on his shoulder.

"We're all going to miss him. We're going to miss him very much" Maddie says as she hugs him and his son. Everyone comes in for a group hug as Eddie tosses a rose into the ground. The dirt covers the glossed casket and is now home to the person who had his heart and soul.

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Eddie feels a harsh gasp and sob leaves his throat when he jolts up in an unfamiliar bed. He felt cold sweat-slick his entire body and the blanket felt suffocating on his person. His heart screaming for air and for the one who was gone. He feels body aching sobs wrack his body as he cries into his hands. Wanting to be comforted by Buck, but knowing it was impossible because he buried him yesterday. The feelings come flooding back to him as he lies back down. He goes to reach for the empty side of his bed to somehow be closer to Buck. To sleep on the pillow that smells like him. But he is stopped when he feels a body beneath his arm, he shoots up in bed when he hears the person speak.

"Eddie?" says a gruff voice and he wants to scream because he knows that voice anywhere.

It's Buck

"What's wrong babe? You ok?" asks Buck as he turns on the lamp on his bedside table and sits up.

"B-Buck?!" Eddie says in a voice that's on the verge of breaking. Suddenly he couldn't breathe, his breaths were coming in and out at the same time, he can't breathe.

"Eddie...I need you to slow down and take a breath for me ok? Can I put my arms around you?" Buck asks, making sure he has Eddie's consent before touching him. He doesn't want to make him more anxious. Eddie nodded his head yes and Buck slowly slid his arms around Eddie's shoulders and front and pulled him close, running his hands through the brown locks of hair. "I need you to stop and breathe for me ok? Try and match my breathing ok?" Buck slowly inhales, hold it in for 5 seconds and slowly breathes out. He repeats this process until Eddie is calm and his heart isn't beating a hundred miles an hour.

"Buck?" Eddie rasps.

"Yea it's me, sweetheart, I'm right here. Shh, it's ok. It was just a bad dream." Buck says as he continues to run his hands through Eddie's hair. He's alive, his Evan is alive. He didn't bury him, he's here. Eddie sniffed and threw his arms around Buck but instantly pulls back when Buck lets out a yelp of pain. Buck lifts his nightshirt and reveals gauze covering a small area of his side and sighs in relief when it isn't bleeding.

"OH god I'm so sorry...I-I didn't mean to-" Eddie is cut off when Buck wraps his arms around him again.

"Shh it's ok. I'm fine Eddie. I'm right here" Eddie slowly and carefully leans into Buck's embrace and lets out a shuddering breath.

"What to tell me what happened?" asks Buck and Eddie has to suck in a breath, not wanting to remember the horrible but vivid experience. But he knows he has to talk about it.

"You died...Christopher and I had to bury you because I couldn't save you...god I saw your body in the casket and I thought it was real. I thought you were gone before I could tell you I love you..." Eddie sobs

" Eddie I know you love me, and I love you too. I'm sorry you had to go through that, but it wasn't real, you and the others saved me."

"How did I save you? I was useless-"

"I held on for you and Christopher. I had to come back to you two" Buck says placing a soft kiss on Eddie's head while running his hand up and down his back. "Remember?"

He thinks back to the events leading up to this moment...

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Eddie is in the bathroom after the doctors took Buck to the operating room. He's looking at himself in the mirror and can't stop looking at the blood on his shirt. His original red shirt is stained with the lifeline of the one he loves and is on the verge of losing. He has a spare shirt in his bag, but it's at Maddie's house, and he can't even think about leaving the hospital.

He runs his hands under the lukewarm water and beginning to gently wash the blood out from his hands. Even when the brownish water going down the drain turns clear again, Eddie continues to wash his hands. The skin becomes irritated but he can't stop scrubbing but he stops when another pair of calloused hands grab his. He looks to the side and sees his captain taking his hands away from under the steady stream of water and gently dries them.

"I-I need to call Carla and ask her if-"

"She already knows, she picked Chris up from school and is going to drop him off at his grandmother's house until Buck gets better." Bobby said leading them out of the bathroom and into the waiting room. Bobby gets sits him down and places a cup of water in Eddie's hands.

"He's going to be ok Eddie; our Buck is a fighter." He hears next to him and sees Athena taking the seat next to him.

"Hey Athena..." Eddie tries to smile but Athena gives him her signature mom look and he feels the tears well up in his eyes again as he curls forward and cries into his hands. He feels Athena pull him into her side.

"I can't lose him...after everything we've been through, I can't lose him" Eddie says as he feels the team come around him.

"We won't lose him, they brought him back, you heard the monitor Eddie, he's going to be ok"

"B-but the blood thinners-"

"Don't think about that Eddie, he's going to be ok" Bobby says with a note of finality and it leaves no room for argument. Eddie nods and allows himself to feel the comforting feelings from the people he calls his found family. Once he is able to get himself somewhat together, he looks up and sees another officer.

"Eddie this is Officer Lee, they're here to take your statement on what happened if that is ok with you?" Eddie nods yes and he gives what he can to the officer taking notes and the statement.

"Did the shooter say anything to you?" asked the officer.

"Y-yea he said that I took everything from him, he's going to take something from me" the officer nodded and then asked

"Do you have any idea who might have done this?" Eddie is about to say no, but then he thinks about it. He didn't think about what the aftermath might have in store when he called the police for that guy. He then thought about the worst-case scenario...what if the promoter followed him and saw him at Maddie's house? What if he didn't go to Maddie's and went home with his son? Eddie then panics because he doesn't want to think about what might of happened if the guy then shot-no he can't think about that. He then looks up and the officer is still looking at him with a look of patience and he has to push that line of thinking away. Eddie then explains to both Athena and the officer what he had been doing, the officer was unjudging but he saw the signature look of disappointment on Athena's face.

"That's when I called the police. I saw he ran away when I hung up but I thought that was the end of it. Wayne Camargo is the name of the guy that approached me when I was fighting in abandoned lots. He then brought me to the warehouse and I began to fight there. I think he might have followed me home or something...I know Maddie's house has cameras, maybe one of the cameras caught something?"

"The owner of the house already gave us permission to look at the camera footage so officers are looking at the footage right now. If we get a hit and make an arrest, we will let you know. Thank you for your cooperation." The officer bids farewell to Athena and Eddie almost wishes that he is taken to the station for more questioning because it would be better than being under the stare of Sergeant Athena Grant.

"You want to explain to me how because of you, our boy, the pseudo-uncle to my and Hen's kids, the kid my husband sees as a son, is fighting for his life as we speak on the other side of those doors?" Athena asks and it makes Eddie shrink.

"I've been dealing with things in an unhealthy way and now Buck is paying the price for it...but Athena, I didn't mean for him to get hurt. I never wanted him to get hurt, I love him and I can't imagine my life without him, I don't even remember life before him. I just want him to be ok so I can tell him how sorry I am. I can't lose him..." Eddie says as Athena softens her look a little bit. She smiles softly and kneels in front of Eddie.

"I know you love that boy, and he's going to be ok. I'm not going to arrest you; lord knows you're suffering enough. But don't worry Eddie, our boy is a fighter, nothing will stop him from coming back to us" Athena says as she brings Eddie in for a hug. He returns it and he feel himself falling apart. He can't lose him. He can't lose Buck; he doesn't think he'll survive it. Buck has to hold on, so Eddie can tell him everything, so Buck can maybe forgive him and call him a friend at the very lease. He doesn't expect Buck to take him back, he doesn't deserve that.

"When that kid wakes up, you need to ask Buck for his forgiveness" says Athena

"I don't deserve it...not after everything I've put him through..." Athena doesn't say anything as Eddie looks at her with anguish in his brown eyes. "I need him Athena...Christopher needs him...I don't know what I'll do if he-"

"Don't think like that. He's going to make it Eddie, you need to have faith that he can hold on for you, for your son, and for us. He can do this, just have a little faith" Athena said as she pulled away. Eddie wiped his eyes and sat back into the chairs.

He didn't know how long it was until the doctor comes out and says the surgery was a success

Buck had been asleep but Eddie hopes that he can hear him as he whispers that he loves him and that he messed up so bad that he ended up here.

He isn't sure how many hours pass until he feels the hand in his own squeeze and twitches. Eddie looks at Buck with hope and is flooded with relief when Buck's eyes slowly open.

"E- Eddie ?" Buck's voice is hoarse and thick but it is music to Eddie's ears.

"I'm right here...I'm here cariño it's ok..." Eddie soothes as Buck is beginning to wake up. Buck blinks and looks around and sees that Eddie is next to him.

"Eddie...hey..." Buck looks up and sees a tearful Eddie next to him in a hospital bed. He reaches out to him and Eddie grabs Buck's hands again and he finds himself with an armful of Eddie, who is shaking and crying quietly into his shoulder. Buck is confused on this because even though the last thing he remembers is being shot, it was a random robber...right?

"Eddie...what's wrong?" Buck lifts a shaky hand and places it in Eddie's hair. "Eddie...what's the matter lov-" Eddie cuts Buck off with a gentle kiss to his lips. Buck is shocked and before he can return it, Eddie pulls back and Buck can see the anguish and pain in his eyes, and it worries him. Eddie can't form words; there's so much he wants to say to Buck but he can't form the words. "Eddie talk to me love...you're scaring me..." At this Eddie looks up and gently takes Buck's head in both his hands and brings their foreheads together. He has yet to stop crying...

"I'm sorry...god I'm so sorry...you're here because of me..."

"You didn't shoot me Eddie...this isn-"

"The guy that shot you was there because of me...I didn't want to tell you this so soon after waking up but...the reason I've been staying out so late isn't because I was cheating on you...I was out fighting" Eddie waits for Buck to go off on him. To yell at him, to scream at him and tell him how stupid he was being. That or Buck is finally going to realize that he doesn't need Eddie and tell him to go away and leave. But he does not do any of that, instead, he says...

"So that explains these..." Buck says as he points to a nasty but healing bruise on Eddie's arm.

"I'm sorry Buck, I dealt with things with fighting and it almost cost me something so important..."

"Better me than you...than Christopher..." Eddie lets out a sob at the thought

"No don't say that...don't you dare say that! You both are so important to me...I thought I was going to lose you Buck...fuck I did lose you...you flatlined in the ambulance and I thought that was the end of it. I held your hand until you came into the hospital and I wanted to follow you but I couldn't...I didn't know if you were going to make it and that thought terrified me. I don't remember life before you, but now...I can't imagine my life without you...I am so sorry that you're here because of me" Eddie slid off the bedside chair and fell to his knees beside the bed. HIs head buried in the worn sheets that could only belong to a hospital bed, his hand in Buck's. And Buck can see how truly apologetic Eddie is.

Not even two days ago, Buck left Eddie's home, thinking he wasn't good enough for Eddie and that is why he was staying out late. But come to find out that the only reason is because he was fighting...Buck knows he should be mad...but with the combination of drugs, almost dying, and because of missing Eddie, he's not mad. Besides, he thinks almost dying is punishment enough. It's a good thing that Eddie decided to stop going to the ring before something even worse happened. Eddie wasn't cheating on him and Eddie says he loves him. Sure, Buck could mad a little bit longer, but he doesn't want to be. Not after everything that had happened

Buck smiles slightly and runs his fingers through Eddie's hair to get him to look up. When Eddie does, Buck moves over in the slightly big hospital bed and Eddie hesitates, but Buck tugs on his hand a little bit more and Eddie climbs onto the bed next to Buck. Their bodies fitting perfectly together like a puzzle piece as Eddie settles down on the bed, careful of the wires and the tubes that are attached to buck. After some careful maneuvering, Buck buries his forehead into Eddie's chest as he buries his face in Buck's messy un-styled hair. Eddie inhales deeply the scent that is uniquely Buck and he tightens his hold ever so slightly.

"Eddie...I'm not going to say it's ok, because it's not. But I also know you are going to get help, so I can't stay mad at you"

"Why not? The promoter that brought me to the fights is the one that shot you...he was there because of me...you're here because of me..." Edde says as he nuzzles into Buck.

"But you saved me...Eddie Diaz, you saved my life and because of you, I can come home to you and Christopher...if you want me to at least..."

"Of course, I want you to come home...I'm not letting you out of my sight, not for a second."

And he didn't leave that hospital room until Buck was discharged two days later. Going to sleep only to have a horrible nightmare of what might have been.

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"...Remember Eddie? You and Christopher brought me home and we are in our bed. We're here Eddie it's ok" Buck says as he lays back down, bringing Eddie with him and tucking him into his side. Eddie relaxes at the sound of Buck's heartbeat.

"Buck...I-I'm so sorry..."

"Eddie we're past that-"

"But I'm not" Eddie says as he sits back up, looking down at Buck "I was so caught up in my head that I forgot to see my future with you and our son" Eddie wanted to chuckle at the sight of Buck's eyes widening when Eddie said our son

"Yes, Christopher is our son. And I almost lost both of you because of my own selfishness. I forgot about loving you Evan...and for that I truly am sorry, and I hope that one day you can forgive me for that"

Even if I might not forgive myself

"Eddie...come here" Buck brings his arm up and Eddie hesitantly falls into them. "I forgive you Eddie...it's what it means to be a part of a family...and we are a family Eddie. You and Christopher are my family, and I am so thankful that I have you two" Buck says as he turns his head to capture Eddie in a kissed.

"I'm thankful for you too Evan. ..I'll never forget to tell you this again cariño...I love you...god Evan I love you...I love you with everything that I am"

"Oh Eddie" Buck says as he pulls back and stares into Eddie's pretty brown eyes "I love you too..."

"Thank you for giving me a chance to tell you how much I love you, I'll spend the rest of my life trying to show you how much I love and appreciate you" Eddie says as he snuggles into Buck so he can try to go back to sleep.

"You don't need to spend the rest of your life showing me Eddie...this right here, is perfect. I love you Eddie" Buck says as he kisses Eddie on the top of the head.

"I love you too"

Eddie is lulled to sleep with the steady and strong heartbeat of one Evan Buckley, the one who has his heart.

YALL THOUGHT I WAS DONE HURTING YOU?! JKJK I'm done now

Thank you all so much for sticking by me during this story because you have officially reached the end. If the ending isn't that great forgive me because I am writing this in the middle of being high off of cold medicine because this winter weather is kicking my butt...

Thanks for reading! Feel Free to comment!