Rewatched the 2012 series recently and was inspired by the Pulveriser's return episode.

Please enjoy xx

It's Your Fault or It's Mine

Midnight in the lair was always an interesting time. The brothers would usually be home by now after an active patrol around their city. Sometimes the boys would go straight to bed like their father tells them to, sometimes only a few of them head to their rooms while the others do whatever it is they feel they need to do and sometimes too much has happened that night for any of them to even think of separating, never mind going to sleep.

But nine times out of ten three brothers head to bed while the second youngest heads to the lab for one reason or another. They never think to follow him or convince him to rest, usually there's no point.

Tonight however, the four mutants watched the closed lab door in concern.

For once it was quiet behind the steel door. No typing, mumbling, banging or explosions. No singing, humming, hammering or welding.

Dead silence.

The four used to beg the darkness of night for that sweet sound, for their genius to go to bed and let them all have a peaceful sleep.

This is not how they wanted it.

In the lab Donatello stood, staring at the blinking goop in front of him. Goop that used to be a person.

Timothy was an idiot. Donatello had known this from the moment he met the boy but still, he had potential.

His family didn't see it, but he had, that's why he showed him some basic moves.

He clenched his jaw angrily as tears stung his eyes.

"Why?" He breathed. "Why were you so desperate to become a mutant? Why didn't you just listen to me? I told you how dangerous it was, how unpredictable it was…"

It was a stupid question. He knew why Timothy did it.

It was the same reason he and his brothers would become human if they could.

To fit in, to become something more than you were.

Timothy looked up to Donnie and his brothers, put them on a pedestal, as an ideal. They were heroes.

Well… Not anymore.

The boy had just wanted to help, to prove himself to them and his brothers took advantage. They sent him into their enemy's base, a place he had no business in, and let him take whatever consequences arose.

Heroes don't send innocent people into danger.

Heroes don't take advantage of their admirers.

Donnie shook his head.

They had both lost heroes that day.

He didn't even want to look at his brothers right now.

Luckily the knock on the door was his father.

"Donatello" Splinter frowned once he shut the door behind him, he stared at his son's shell. "How are you?"

"I'm fantastic" Donnie mumbled sarcastically before remembering himself. "I'm fine, Father… Sorry"

Splinter came to stand beside him.

"The truth?" The rat tried again. Donnie sighed; he supposed his father might understand.

"I'm angry" Donnie said before shaking his head, "No… that's putting it lightly. I'm furious"

"You are hurt" Donnie looked at his father before nodding silently. "Speak your mind freely"

Donnie took a deep breath as he thought about what bothered him most.

"I asked them over and over again to pull Timothy out of danger" Donnie's voice shook with rage, "I told them it was too risky, the Foot are not forgiving after all. If they even caught a whiff of him being a spy, then he would've been killed without hesitation"

Splinter looked like he was about to say something, but Donnie hadn't finished, the Sensei let his student go on.

"They continuously sent him off and ignored me in hopes of getting information. Involving him in something that he had nothing to do with. Who does that? Shredder does that. Bad guys risk innocent lives, not us. We're meant to be the good guys, protecting the humans… Leonardo goes on and on about being a hero, yet he did exactly what villains do!" Donnie's ranting gets louder with each word, "Heroes don't risk innocent lives! He was clearly in over his head and yet they continued to push him into trouble! He didn't deserve this! It's their fault he's like this now!"

Donnie clenched his fists as tears began to fall.

"I tried to teach him something, anything that would help him look after himself! What I should've done was tell him to run, run away from the evil mutants, get away from the monsters in the sewers!" He sighs as the anger begins to leave him, "I should have forced him out of the Foot, gone against my brothers wishes… I should've done anything to get him to safety… I should be the pile of goo in that jar, not him."

Donnie looked up at his father.

"He thought of us as heroes" He shook his head, "He looked up to us, trusted us to protect him and we pushed him right into the middle of danger. He didn't even complain because he thought we had his back… that I would have his back… that I would pull him to safety if he needed it"

Splinter looked down at his saddened son, he wasn't sure what to say.

"You are angry with your brothers for risking Timothy's life" He summarised, "You feel let down by them and that you let Timothy down as his teacher"

Donnie nodded.

"Your brothers are not the villains" Splinter continues, "What they did was wrong, there's no denying that- "

"It was cowardly" Donnie agreed.

"But they thought it necessary to keep our family safe" His father chose not to reprimand him for interrupting. "Donatello… I believe there was no helping Timothy. He didn't listen to anyone, he wanted to become a mutant and wouldn't heed your warnings despite trusting you. He is paying for his own actions; you need not blame yourself"

"But who's the one stuck with curing him? Looking at him everyday knowing that my brothers were willing to send an innocent kid into Shredder's army just to get some information?" Donnie stepped closer to Timothy.

"I tried to tell him, and he didn't listen… so I don't entirely blame myself" Donnie explained slowly, "But he would never have gotten into that position had my brothers not sent him out as an expendable spy"

"I'm sure they- "

"They call me a useless ninja sometimes" Donnie continued as if his father hadn't spoken, "How long is it until they do the same to me?"

"They would never!" Splinter is quick to shut down that train of thought, "Your brothers care for you deeply, you are family"

"Yeah" Donnie sighed, "But will that matter? When they next need to send an idiot out on a suicide mission, will they care that I'm their brother or will they figure they'll be fine without me. Donnie just fixes stuff, can't be that hard"

Master Splinter watched his child pityingly, he knew now this was not something he could fix. He needed his three other sons to talk to Donatello.

However, that looked like it was going to happen, the brothers had been on the other side of the door eavesdropping the entire time. They stormed through the door and right up to their downtrodden brother.

"The hell are you talking about?" Raphael growls, "You're as stupid as Pulveriser!"

"You have been told time and time again not to eavesdrop on other's conversations!" Splinter scolded; the three brothers looked at him.

"He's blaming us for Timothy being mutated!" Raphael snarled.

"Enough!" Splinter yelled. The four brothers bowed their heads. "You listened in to our entire conversation, yet the blame is all you care about?"

Nobody responds.

"Why didn't anyone tell me you were sending Pulveriser out as a spy?"

"We knew you wouldn't approve" Leonardo admitted,

"You are right. We do not send others to fight our war" The father of four shook his head. "I am disappointed in all of you"

"I told them not to!" Donnie tried but is quickly quieted by his father.

"Yet you did not come to me" He frowned.

"How could I?" Donnie fought back, "Forget it, I'm going to bed"

The four brothers leave the lab, Splinter is quick to grab Donnie's shoulder.

"You are always able to come to me" He soothed. "I don't care what ridicule your brothers will give you if you do. Never think you can't come to me when you don't agree with something or they won't listen to you"

"No offence Sensei" Donnie glared at his other brothers who were watching the exchange. "But if I came to you every time these boneheads didn't listen to me then I might as well live in the dojo"

And with that Donatello went to his room.

Splinter looked at his remaining sons.

"Only you three can fix this"

"There's nothing to fix" Raph rolled his eyes. "Dorkatello is gonna sulk for a few days then get over it like he always does"

"Rich coming from you" Mikey smirked. "You're like the king of Sulksville"

Raph sent a glare at his youngest brother as Splinter headed to bed.

Mikey frowned as his two older brothers headed off towards their rooms.

"Wait, what are you doing?" He stared at them, they faced him in confusion.

"Going to bed?" Leo reminded the youngest,

"No! We gotta fix this first" Mikey marched closer to his brothers. "Donnie's right! We did a really bad and… and dishonourable thing!"

"It was dishonourable" Leo agreed, "But it was for a good reason"

"Yeah he's not important" Raph pointed out.

"No life is unimportant" Mikey frowned. "Donnie taught me that! Plus, you heard what he said! He thinks we would treat him the same way!"

The brothers deflate at that.

"We hurt Donnie" Mikey pushed, "We didn't listen to him and he was right, Timothy should never have ended up being mutated by the Foot"

"Heroes don't risk innocent lives" Leonardo repeated Donnie's earlier words, "Shredder would've done what we did"

That left a sour taste in all their mouths.

"Mikey's right let's go speak to Donnie" Leo nodded before leading his brothers to Donnie's room. He knocked once before they all walked in.

Donnie's room was pretty empty in comparison to everyone else's. He didn't spend much time in there and only used it for a place to sleep, as a result there wasn't much furniture.

There was a pretty big bed that sat in the middle of the back of the room, a waste basket filled with scrunched up paper and a tiny desk with no chair just for him to write quick ideas or sketches on. His walls were covered in designs, photographs and NASA posters, nobody knows what the wall colour is beneath it all.

Donnie was currently sitting on the edge of his bed; he had been staring at one of the pictures on his wall. The brothers sat with him, Leo sat on Donnie's left, Mikey sat on his right and Raphael sat next to Michelangelo. Mikey frowned.

"I drew that" He stood back up and looked closer at what Donnie had been staring at.

It was an old childhood drawing Mikey had given him. It was all four of them with capes that matched their mask colours, underneath the youngest had written.

"We're all heroes!"

Mikey remembered he had drawn it for his immediate older brother due to Leo and Raph having made him cry, he couldn't remember why, but Mikey had wanted Donnie to feel better and so he had made that.

"You kept it?"

"Yeah" Donnie smiled gently at his little brother's surprised tone. "It's good for a six-year-old, I keep every drawing you give me. Usually they mean something"

Mikey bowed his head a little as he sat back down.

"You made this one because Leo and Raph made me cry" Donnie smirked, "They had been making fun of me for not being levelled up in our ninjutsu training, telling me I was too much of a nerd and one day they would be superheroes and I would be the one needing rescuing"

"I remember now" Mikey nodded sadly, "I hated what they said, I thought we could all be superheroes and I wanted to prove it to you"

"A week later I levelled up" Donnie looked over at Mikey and they shared a small smile.

"We're sorry about today" Leo sighed, he and Raph desperately wanted to move on from that conversation. They had been pretty nasty back then.

"And about back then" Raph tried,

"I was wrong Donnie" Mikey ignored his older brothers, "We aren't heroes... we're the bad guys, just like in the movies"

Donnie put an arm around Mikey's shoulders and pulled him closer.

"We were today" He agreed,

"It's my fault" Leo sighed, "I didn't even think about it, he was willing, and I figured it would be useful or at least keep him busy… I didn't even consider the consequences"

"We would never do that to you Donnie" Raph is quick to add, "We love you and… we need you. I don't even want to imagine you being that pile of goop in a jar"

Donnie looked at his brothers, he could see they were guilty. He didn't feel as angry at them anymore, still a little disappointed but not angry.

"It was just a sucky thing to do" He explained weakly, "I was supposed to take care of him, he trusted us, and we let him down."

The brothers nodded, they agreed.

Together they sat in silence for a while.

"We'll help you cure him" Leo leant his head on Donnie's. "No matter what it takes, you don't have to fix our mistake on you own."

Donnie smiled as the brothers all snuggled closer.

"Thanks… I don't know what I'm gonna do but… I'll definitely need help" He sighed, "I'll bring him back one day. When I do… we apologise and send him away, we'll make sure he's free of all this"

The brothers agree.

The next morning, Splinter opens Donnie's door and peeks in to see his four children fast asleep together. He smiled gently and slowly shut the door again.

Training can wait another hour or so.

Thanks for reading! Feel free to leave a review x