THE MATRIX SCREWED CHAPTER IV 3468123475145328745781325478351282345738254735247382547382458732756373254783 24(Insertmoreweirdnumbershereandlookforsecretmessagesinherethroughouttherest ofthestory)fdshjfgsadkjbfjaksgfjabdjkasbfjdasgbfkasgbk,ahiewmyenglishteache risahofdakfdhakjfhjaskfhjskfhjkgfjakgfjkgadsjkfgjsdgfjdsgfjgasdkmanmyteacher ssuckfedagfjdsgafyugdsyuafguksdgfksadgjksgdakfjjkaesfjkeanfcesehdficbdilksbf hsldkbfdareyoureadingthisquestionmarkfdsjkfgjabfkabdsfkabsjdhjaksfbhjdsfjhds gafjgjsadkgfkjasgadgfjsuckfedagfjdsgafyugdsyuafguksdgfksadgjksgdakfjjkaesfjk eanfcesehdficbdilksbfhsldkbfdareyoureadingthisquestionmarkfdsjkfgjabfkabdsfk absjdhjaksfbhjdsfjhdsgafjgjsadkgfkjasgadgfjgfjhad

* Sorry for the cliffhanger last chapter, I had five minutes before my parents charged at me for not going to bed and couldn't even put in an authors note or ending* P.S. WHO CARES????????????????

On the Ship

Morpheus: Load us up Dozer

Dozer: Shut up and hook up yourself!

Morpheus: I'll try. Where does my penis go again?

Dozer: In the fan.

Morpheus: Ok! HOLY CRAAAAAAAHHHAAAAAAAAAAAP! It's gone! My baby!

Niobe: First the voice in your head and now your penis is gone! We're through foo!

Morpheus: No Niobe! I'll just paste on a dildo! It'll work . . . . . . .! Dozer where's the superglue?

Dozer: In the fan.

Morpheus: No really where is it?

Dozer: In the Piranha tank.

Morpheus: Whatever.

Neo: How high is Morpheus again?

Tank: I don't know! You know what's a cool name? Czechl from Czechoslovakia! Do you know what a baby Echidna is? A puggle! Puggle, Puggle, puggle, it sounds kewl. Do you know what a baby Ostrich is called?

Neo: No

Tank: me neither! What about a baby rhinoceros?

Trinity: A baby rhinoceros?

Tank: You're smarter than I thought.

Morpheus: NO GET OFF MY PENISLESS CROTCH! AHHHHHHAAHHHHHHH!

Dozer: Let's get you in now.

Neo: Give me a nice car.

Dozer: Alright!

345698325326593645062353495789234659834685964398rhfekshdfjkgbdajskfvjsdiknow thischaptersucksdontblamemefdsjgfujksadf3fnkjdshfjkashgr983yrhfn4nyc78r6y389 763y478tvrb8476r87v4tg85b4tbv83t5vn9t5wowiaccidentallytypednyckewlenrihv 8394uc233

IN THE MATRIX. . .

Neo: Ok they made Trinity's boobs bigger, (+) but we're driving a golf cart! (-) I don't think Dozer and Tank are familiar with the phrase "Scissor Doors". Whatever.

Trinity: Look a car show! We'll steal what we need! Tank . . . upload the ULTIMATE diversion . . .hehhehehhehhehhehehehehehehhehehehhehehehehhehehehe
(1 hour later) Hehehehhehehe *GASP wow that was a long time. Is the upload done yet?

Dozer: No, you haven't stolen me a new computer since window 1978! Ok just press the button when you need it and say where

Trinity: Ok whatever.

IN THE CAR SHOW

Neo: Let's take the super limo over there

Morpheus: Great idea! No one will suspect anything seeing a bunch of people in tight leather suits run around is a huge black limo with lots of guns!

Trinity: Let's take that Ferrari instead. Dozer cue the diversion over there!

Dozer: You got it kid.

SUDDENLY OVER THERE

Morpheus: OMGOMGOMG IT'S JARJAR BINKS!

Jar jar Binks: Mesa Jar jars Binks! Mesa gets killed off in sequel!

Mobster: How about now wise guy!

Jar jar Binks: Whoopsie Daisy! (DIES)

Trinity: Make another one!

Dozer: Aight

Yoda: Wrinkled old Muppet I am! Look at my classy toga! TOGA TOGA TOGA TOGA! Unhappy with new Star Wars Films with Jar jar Binks I am. Lynched Jar jar should be!

Neo: Good enough for me! Get in the Ferrari Trinity!

Morpheus: What about me?

Neo: Get in the trunk.

Morpheus: It has no tr-(Is run over by Neo in the Ferrari) Man, I have got to start realizing things earlier . . . Ooh I'll just steal that! (Jumps in Saddaam Hussein's Car) I wonder what this button does . . . . (Glass shield surrounds the car and everyone within the immediate vicinity dies) Wow . . . that guy could live it up in this thang! Let's go!

At the Hicksville Apartment Complex

Neo: Which floor is it?

Trinity: Look in your heart!

Neo: Screw that! Eeny meeny miny moe! (Picks floor 13)

Trinity: There is no floor thirteen!

Neo: Exactly!

Trinity: Wow there IS a thirteenth floor!

Neo: And it reeks of smoke! O wait my ass is on fire.

Trinity: Let me just hump it out. . Uh, uh uh UH UH UH UH UH UH UH!

Neo: Now it's a cigarette! Uh-oh . . . rednecks at 12:00

Trinity: Well it's 11:59 59 . . . crap

Rednecks: WE LIKE DRUGS AND TO KISS OUR OWN MUGS BUT WE'RE COVERED WITH IMAGINARY BUGS! HALLUCINATION WE'RE ON THE BRINK OF ANNIHILATION AND WE JUST WANT MORE POT!

Trinity: Look a Hyundai!

Rednecks: Wow the classiest car on the market!

Neo: Slip away quietly. . .

Oracle: Welcome Neo!

Neo: You smell bad!

Meanwhile. . .

Morpheus: OH CRAP REDNECKS! I'd better use my Reba McIntyre deployer!

Rednecks: Look it's Reba McIntyre driving up in a Hyundai!

Reba: I drink Dr. Pepper!

Look Ahead for the NEXT chapter in the epic random crap happening to people series where we screwed up the matrix creatively titled THE MATRIX SCREWED!

~MB