THE MATRIX SCREWED CHAPTER IV
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* Sorry for the cliffhanger last chapter, I had five minutes before my parents charged at me for not going to bed and couldn't even put in an authors note or ending* P.S. WHO CARES????????????????
On the Ship
Morpheus: Load us up Dozer
Dozer: Shut up and hook up yourself!
Morpheus: I'll try. Where does my penis go again?
Dozer: In the fan.
Morpheus: Ok! HOLY CRAAAAAAAHHHAAAAAAAAAAAP! It's gone! My baby!
Niobe: First the voice in your head and now your penis is gone! We're through foo!
Morpheus: No Niobe! I'll just paste on a dildo! It'll work . . . . . . .! Dozer where's the superglue?
Dozer: In the fan.
Morpheus: No really where is it?
Dozer: In the Piranha tank.
Morpheus: Whatever.
Neo: How high is Morpheus again?
Tank: I don't know! You know what's a cool name? Czechl from Czechoslovakia! Do you know what a baby Echidna is? A puggle! Puggle, Puggle, puggle, it sounds kewl. Do you know what a baby Ostrich is called?
Neo: No
Tank: me neither! What about a baby rhinoceros?
Trinity: A baby rhinoceros?
Tank: You're smarter than I thought.
Morpheus: NO GET OFF MY PENISLESS CROTCH! AHHHHHHAAHHHHHHH!
Dozer: Let's get you in now.
Neo: Give me a nice car.
Dozer: Alright!
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IN THE MATRIX. . .
Neo: Ok they made Trinity's boobs bigger, (+) but we're driving a golf cart! (-) I don't think Dozer and Tank are familiar with the phrase "Scissor Doors". Whatever.
Trinity: Look a car show! We'll steal what we need! Tank . . . upload the ULTIMATE diversion . . .hehhehehhehhehhehehehehehehhehehehhehehehehhehehehe
(1 hour later) Hehehehhehehe *GASP wow that was a long time. Is the upload done yet?
Dozer: No, you haven't stolen me a new computer since window 1978! Ok just press the button when you need it and say where
Trinity: Ok whatever.
IN THE CAR SHOW
Neo: Let's take the super limo over there
Morpheus: Great idea! No one will suspect anything seeing a bunch of people in tight leather suits run around is a huge black limo with lots of guns!
Trinity: Let's take that Ferrari instead. Dozer cue the diversion over there!
Dozer: You got it kid.
SUDDENLY OVER THERE
Morpheus: OMGOMGOMG IT'S JARJAR BINKS!
Jar jar Binks: Mesa Jar jars Binks! Mesa gets killed off in sequel!
Mobster: How about now wise guy!
Jar jar Binks: Whoopsie Daisy! (DIES)
Trinity: Make another one!
Dozer: Aight
Yoda: Wrinkled old Muppet I am! Look at my classy toga! TOGA TOGA TOGA TOGA! Unhappy with new Star Wars Films with Jar jar Binks I am. Lynched Jar jar should be!
Neo: Good enough for me! Get in the Ferrari Trinity!
Morpheus: What about me?
Neo: Get in the trunk.
Morpheus: It has no tr-(Is run over by Neo in the Ferrari) Man, I have got to start realizing things earlier . . . Ooh I'll just steal that! (Jumps in Saddaam Hussein's Car) I wonder what this button does . . . . (Glass shield surrounds the car and everyone within the immediate vicinity dies) Wow . . . that guy could live it up in this thang! Let's go!
At the Hicksville Apartment Complex
Neo: Which floor is it?
Trinity: Look in your heart!
Neo: Screw that! Eeny meeny miny moe! (Picks floor 13)
Trinity: There is no floor thirteen!
Neo: Exactly!
Trinity: Wow there IS a thirteenth floor!
Neo: And it reeks of smoke! O wait my ass is on fire.
Trinity: Let me just hump it out. . Uh, uh uh UH UH UH UH UH UH UH!
Neo: Now it's a cigarette! Uh-oh . . . rednecks at 12:00
Trinity: Well it's 11:59 59 . . . crap
Rednecks: WE LIKE DRUGS AND TO KISS OUR OWN MUGS BUT WE'RE COVERED WITH IMAGINARY BUGS! HALLUCINATION WE'RE ON THE BRINK OF ANNIHILATION AND WE JUST WANT MORE POT!
Trinity: Look a Hyundai!
Rednecks: Wow the classiest car on the market!
Neo: Slip away quietly. . .
Oracle: Welcome Neo!
Neo: You smell bad!
Meanwhile. . .
Morpheus: OH CRAP REDNECKS! I'd better use my Reba McIntyre deployer!
Rednecks: Look it's Reba McIntyre driving up in a Hyundai!
Reba: I drink Dr. Pepper!
Look Ahead for the NEXT chapter in the epic random crap happening to people series where we screwed up the matrix creatively titled THE MATRIX SCREWED!
~MB
* Sorry for the cliffhanger last chapter, I had five minutes before my parents charged at me for not going to bed and couldn't even put in an authors note or ending* P.S. WHO CARES????????????????
On the Ship
Morpheus: Load us up Dozer
Dozer: Shut up and hook up yourself!
Morpheus: I'll try. Where does my penis go again?
Dozer: In the fan.
Morpheus: Ok! HOLY CRAAAAAAAHHHAAAAAAAAAAAP! It's gone! My baby!
Niobe: First the voice in your head and now your penis is gone! We're through foo!
Morpheus: No Niobe! I'll just paste on a dildo! It'll work . . . . . . .! Dozer where's the superglue?
Dozer: In the fan.
Morpheus: No really where is it?
Dozer: In the Piranha tank.
Morpheus: Whatever.
Neo: How high is Morpheus again?
Tank: I don't know! You know what's a cool name? Czechl from Czechoslovakia! Do you know what a baby Echidna is? A puggle! Puggle, Puggle, puggle, it sounds kewl. Do you know what a baby Ostrich is called?
Neo: No
Tank: me neither! What about a baby rhinoceros?
Trinity: A baby rhinoceros?
Tank: You're smarter than I thought.
Morpheus: NO GET OFF MY PENISLESS CROTCH! AHHHHHHAAHHHHHHH!
Dozer: Let's get you in now.
Neo: Give me a nice car.
Dozer: Alright!
345698325326593645062353495789234659834685964398rhfekshdfjkgbdajskfvjsdiknow thischaptersucksdontblamemefdsjgfujksadf3fnkjdshfjkashgr983yrhfn4nyc78r6y389 763y478tvrb8476r87v4tg85b4tbv83t5vn9t5wowiaccidentallytypednyckewlenrihv 8394uc233
IN THE MATRIX. . .
Neo: Ok they made Trinity's boobs bigger, (+) but we're driving a golf cart! (-) I don't think Dozer and Tank are familiar with the phrase "Scissor Doors". Whatever.
Trinity: Look a car show! We'll steal what we need! Tank . . . upload the ULTIMATE diversion . . .hehhehehhehhehhehehehehehehhehehehhehehehehhehehehe
(1 hour later) Hehehehhehehe *GASP wow that was a long time. Is the upload done yet?
Dozer: No, you haven't stolen me a new computer since window 1978! Ok just press the button when you need it and say where
Trinity: Ok whatever.
IN THE CAR SHOW
Neo: Let's take the super limo over there
Morpheus: Great idea! No one will suspect anything seeing a bunch of people in tight leather suits run around is a huge black limo with lots of guns!
Trinity: Let's take that Ferrari instead. Dozer cue the diversion over there!
Dozer: You got it kid.
SUDDENLY OVER THERE
Morpheus: OMGOMGOMG IT'S JARJAR BINKS!
Jar jar Binks: Mesa Jar jars Binks! Mesa gets killed off in sequel!
Mobster: How about now wise guy!
Jar jar Binks: Whoopsie Daisy! (DIES)
Trinity: Make another one!
Dozer: Aight
Yoda: Wrinkled old Muppet I am! Look at my classy toga! TOGA TOGA TOGA TOGA! Unhappy with new Star Wars Films with Jar jar Binks I am. Lynched Jar jar should be!
Neo: Good enough for me! Get in the Ferrari Trinity!
Morpheus: What about me?
Neo: Get in the trunk.
Morpheus: It has no tr-(Is run over by Neo in the Ferrari) Man, I have got to start realizing things earlier . . . Ooh I'll just steal that! (Jumps in Saddaam Hussein's Car) I wonder what this button does . . . . (Glass shield surrounds the car and everyone within the immediate vicinity dies) Wow . . . that guy could live it up in this thang! Let's go!
At the Hicksville Apartment Complex
Neo: Which floor is it?
Trinity: Look in your heart!
Neo: Screw that! Eeny meeny miny moe! (Picks floor 13)
Trinity: There is no floor thirteen!
Neo: Exactly!
Trinity: Wow there IS a thirteenth floor!
Neo: And it reeks of smoke! O wait my ass is on fire.
Trinity: Let me just hump it out. . Uh, uh uh UH UH UH UH UH UH UH!
Neo: Now it's a cigarette! Uh-oh . . . rednecks at 12:00
Trinity: Well it's 11:59 59 . . . crap
Rednecks: WE LIKE DRUGS AND TO KISS OUR OWN MUGS BUT WE'RE COVERED WITH IMAGINARY BUGS! HALLUCINATION WE'RE ON THE BRINK OF ANNIHILATION AND WE JUST WANT MORE POT!
Trinity: Look a Hyundai!
Rednecks: Wow the classiest car on the market!
Neo: Slip away quietly. . .
Oracle: Welcome Neo!
Neo: You smell bad!
Meanwhile. . .
Morpheus: OH CRAP REDNECKS! I'd better use my Reba McIntyre deployer!
Rednecks: Look it's Reba McIntyre driving up in a Hyundai!
Reba: I drink Dr. Pepper!
Look Ahead for the NEXT chapter in the epic random crap happening to people series where we screwed up the matrix creatively titled THE MATRIX SCREWED!
~MB