Vienna, 1813.

France had been growing too ambitious. His quest for dominance had put him in direct confrontation with the other European powers. Unfortunately for them, he'd become the most powerful he'd ever been, surpassing the strength he'd had under Louis XIV. None of them stood a chance fighting him by themselves or in smaller coalitions. They were going to have to do what they'd never succeeded at before: working as a team.

With this goal in mind, Austria had invited Prussia, Britain, and Russia into his home. It would be best for them to hash out the details of their alliance along with a general strategy for how to take down the growing menace in person, unimpeded by the delays in letters arriving or having to work through representatives. Part of him was pleased at the idea, it hadn't been tried by any of them in their prior alliances, where they would only meet up together for battle. The other part of him had gnawing doubts about allowing Russia and Prussia into his home. Britain was a proper aristocrat like himself. He could trust Arthur to show him and his family the proper respect they deserved. Ivan and Gilbert were brutes, they were the wild card. He'd have to hold them to account.

"You're pacing, dear, what's the matter?" Behind her concerned words, Hungary couldn't hide her boredom. She was standing in front of the mirror, holding up different dresses to find which one suited her best.

"This is very stressful for me, Erzsébet. I hope you'll understand that. I want France's reign of terror to be over, but I resent that it means opening our home to savages!"

"Don't worry, I'll keep a close eye on Gilbert. I'll make sure he's on his best behavior." She smiled at her reflection, her voice a silky purr.

Roderich's eyes narrowed. "I'm sure you will, Liebling." His voice dripped with disdain. "That's the one thing I can always count on from you." He heard the sounds of his parlor beginning to fill downstairs. He saw her slipping into her dress out the corner of his eye as he began exiting the room. "You always look fat in red." He quickly shut the door. He laughed hearing the thump of a book hitting it and his wife cursing in Hungarian.

Down below, Britain, Prussia, and Russia intermingled. "It was a right bitch getting over here, let me tell you that. The damn blockade that frog had on me made it difficult to cross the Channel. Thankfully, God smiles upon the English and we made it."

"Oh, how did you do it?" Russia smiled with genuine interest.

Arthur's face shifted into a wicked grin. "By blowing up five of his ships!" Gilbert and Ivan shared a look as Arthur barely contained his laugh. And everyone considered them the maniacs?

"Gentlemen, it's so lovely to see you all here. I hope the road didn't leave you too weary and that your journey went untroubled." Roderich entered, shooing out the staff that lingered in the room. He put on his most winning smile. "If you're all up to it, I hope we can begin some business straight away. The sooner we get done with everything, the sooner you'll all be back home." And the sooner you'll all be out of my hair, he added to himself.

The suggestion was met with no grumbling. Austria led the men up into his study. They arranged themselves around the map of Europe folded out on the table. "I can secure financing for whatever operations we carry out. The Royal Navy has been undertaking skirmishes along the Channel and North Sea, along with anywhere French ships are foolish enough to be. Within a couple weeks I can have my men bombarding the French coastline to pull troops away from whatever joint land engagements you three begin. Prussia, your men should meet up with the Hanoverians before marching east to-" Britain cut himself off. He felt the icy stare of Austria upon him. "Is something the matter?"

"I didn't realize we were going to be receiving our marching orders from London. If I had known, I would've insisted on the meeting being held at your home instead of mine." Austria balled his hands into fists behind his back. "How foolish of me to forget that we could count on Great Britain having a plan himself for how we lowly continentals would do all the work." He bowed with mock respect. "My sincerest apologies."

"Oh, you suddenly have a better idea? My intel might have been off. Aren't you three the ones who have led the previous campaigns and been embarrassingly crushed each time? By all means though, if you suddenly have the expertise to pull this off, Austria, go ahead. I'll return to my place in the back benches." Britain smugly shrugged. "Though I would consult with the other two before doing anything so drastic."

Prussia was leaned up against the farthest wall. "You're the only one that's been able to scrape some meaningful victories against this bastard. I'm certainly not having my king take a leading role, the guy has no military sense and no balls to listen to anyone with any experience. From working with him, I can tell you Austria doesn't either."

"Bold of you to insult my army when you're the one who's capital was overtaken! Who do you think you are?" Austria sniffed.

"I already admitted to my flaws. Man up and do the same. The capable men we have defected to Russia to keep up the fight since the morons wanted to help France. Thankfully, this new coalition had them return, but I'm not risking losing them and their allegiance again through another one of our half-baked schemes! We listen to Britain or I work on rebuilding my nation until you three sort this out." Prussia shrugged. "No skin off my bones."

Russia stepped in between the opposing sides before it could get any more heated. "Just a second. Let's hear Austria out before we shoot him down. Maybe he actually had a decent plan this time?" He smiled, all fake pleasantry directed at his host. "I hope you finally figured something out. I'm getting tired of providing the most men only to get so many killed."

Cornered. "I expected us to come away with a plan over the week." Austria averted his gaze from the other three. No one needed to see his embarrassment.

"Then no need for all the fuss, eh?" Britain placed a firm hand on Austria's shoulder. Roderich never remembered the Briton being quite this strong. "I've got some ideas on what we can do, where we can route troops and trap the French. 'Course you three know the topography best and where we'll have the best advantages, but rest assured that I've got an ample outline we can hammer out tomorrow. Hope you chaps don't mind me wanting to save it till then. It's been rough sailing the past few days to get here."

Supremely humiliated, Roderich called in two of his maids to show Ivan and Arthur to their rooms. He glared at Gilbert as he moved to his desk. "I suppose you're satisfied. An hour in and I've already made an ass of myself. Though I do like your threat of leaving if you had to listen to me. Your flair for the dramatics hasn't weakened since the last I saw you."

"Oh, get over yourself. You know my satisfaction will come later tonight." A shark-like smile. Gilbert paced slowly through the room, admiring what was on the shelves. "Thank you, I try to give my best performance for the audience. Can't let them know that I'm waiting to dig my boot into your throat. Has to be the pretense of diplomacy."

"Mmm." In honesty, Roderich was paying him no mind. It was easy to tune out this type of baiting the other when it had become routine after so long. "It would be best if you went to your room. You shouldn't get it confused with mine this time since I've unfortunately had to put you on the ground floor."

"Funny. If I recall, I was able to get your staff to move me next to yours for a couple hundred thalers. Amazing what the underpaid will do for money, isn't it?" Prussia winked at the Austrian as he gaped at him in fury. "I'll see you at dinner, neighbor."

Once the door was closed again, Roderich buried his face in his hands. He couldn't escape the feeling that he'd invited the devil into his home.

After spending time to recover and unpack in their own rooms, all the guests eventually made their way to the parlor. A haze of thick fog hung over the room as Britain and Prussia chain smoked from their pipes. Russia politely had his trademark scarf over his mouth, helping to filter the harsh air somewhat. Austria, still lapping up his ego, hung in the back of the room reading.

Eventually, Hungary joined the men. She had paid extra attention to making sure every hair was in place, that all her make-up was done with extreme precision. Extracting himself from whatever boring war stories Prussia and Britain were trading, Russia extended a hand out to her, pleasing her with the gesture befitting an equal and not some feeble arm-candy. "Erzsébet! So good to see you, how have you been? I fear it's been too long since I've been in the presence of your charms."

"Oh, Ivan, you're as adorable as ever. You know how it is," her eyes flashed towards Roderich, who was completely oblivious. "I've been here in my gilded cage. Attending to whatever I'm told befits my station. I hope you've been faring better."

Ivan tsked. "What a shame. You should be out with us, fighting! You're one of the fiercest warriors I've had the honor of fighting with and against. I'd love to see what you would do in command. You should be in the meetings with us."

That actually touched her. She put a hand on his arm and nodded her head in the direction of her dear husband. "I'd love to, why don't you try and convince him though." Pleasantly surprised, Russia raced off to do just that. Her eyes met with Roderich's, whose own burned with a deep disgust at her insubordination. Erzsébet huffed. It wasn't as if she set Ivan up to do this, he was his own man capable of making his own choices.

"Hungary, how rude of me, I didn't see you there. Come and join us, would you like a drink?" She was snapped out of her thoughts by a jovial Britain. She noticed his empty glass. That explained his good mood.

"Now, Britain, you shouldn't be the one offering to get me anything. This is my home, I can get it myself." She nodded at one of the maids, who quickly poured her a glass of red wine. Britain took her hand and kissed it politely. She was always amused by his gentlemanly act. Why pretend to be nobler than the rest of them? Everyone knew of his brutality, of his ruthlessness. She supposed it helped him sleep at night, to have the thin veneer of goodness.

"How sweet you are. Oi, Austria, what a wife you've got. You should consider yourself lucky."

"Oh, yes. What a wife I have indeed." Roderich's voice was deadpanned. "How ever could I manage without her."

"Yes, your mistress is quite a lovely one." Gilbert's eyes glistened a fiery red. "I might even say she's the fairest in all the land." He snaked his arm around Erzsébet's waist and gave her a soft kiss on the cheek, close to her lips. She couldn't resist leaning into his touch nor wipe the satisfied smile off her face.

Arthur's eyes widened. He took a step back. He silently chided himself for not paying more attention to the interpersonal affairs of the continental nations. Perhaps if he did, then he would've known what kind of mess he'd wandered into. When he found no drink left in his glass to provide some escape from the second-hand embarrassment he felt for Roderich, he quickly excused himself towards the bar.

For his part, Roderich was reeling from the shock. When it had been the three of them, he was used to Gilbert and Erzsébet's lack of discretion. He had expected them to be on their best behavior in front of the other's, not because they respected him, but out of respect for themselves. He slammed his book shut and resisted the urge to begin bludgeoning them both with it. "Careful, Prussia," he hissed. Ice ran hot through his veins.

"With no disrespect to you, Hungary, I'd have to say my sisters are the fairest. Natalya is quite the beauty, any man would be lucky to be with her." Ivan pulled at his scarf sheepishly. "Not me, of course. And Katyusha might be rather plain in appearance, but her heart is twice the size of all my lands. I don't think I could ever meet a woman that surpasses their beauty."

The other four nations were taken aback by this. Not by Ivan's love of his sisters, that was well known, but his lack of ability to read the room. He had seemed oblivious to any sort of slight that occurred. Prussia and Hungary wondered if they needed to be more obvious next time, Austria wondered if it wasn't obvious enough and that he'd blown it out of proportion, and Britain wondered how he'd managed to find himself surrounded by such morons. A truly perplexing situation for all.

Russia looked around between them. "Was that too much?" Then he zeroed in on Prussia's arm, still around Hungary's waist, and finally understood. "Oh. Ah. Well." His brain short-circuited. He quickly scrambled over to Britain. "Say, I've never been to India. What's it like down there?"

Both men took their escape and prattled on about the jungles of India and the strange customs they had there. Prussia, Hungary, and Austria continued staring each other down. Austria rose and silently moved over to them. "You've made your point now, are you satisfied?"

"I keep telling you, my satisfaction won't come until tonight. Though it is sweet of you to keep checking on me." Gilbert placed a hand on Roderich's cheek and adopted a sickeningly sweet tone. "You've always been such a provider, Roddy."

Roderich slapped his hand away. "Erzsébet, it would be advised that you go see what needs to be done in the kitchen. Now." He waited till she had bustled off before continuing. "I don't know what game you're getting at, Gilbert, but you're in my home. I've extended a basic courtesy to you and I demand it to be returned. I will not accept being disrespected in front of everyone else." His voice was low, a fierce whisper so no eavesdroppers could pick up on what was being said. "I will not be cuckolded!"

"You won't? Oh no, I'm afraid it's too late for that message." Gilbert wore a shit-eating grin. Roderich's fingers twitched to smack it off his face, to ruin the carpets with his blood, all noble pretenses be damned. "I'll do what I damn well please. Try to stop me."

With that, the Prussian turned on his heel and joined the other three. He felt Austria's eyes burning a hole in his back, but shrugged them off. He was thriving off this. He could give a damn about what they planned this week around. They'd make their plan to take down France and that would be it, he knew it would come together now with Britain's forces and money. What he'd desired was another romp through the mud with Austria, to assert himself as the dominant force between the two of them. Assert he would and pity the fool he tried to stop him.