Christine has something to say ...
Erik : "I knew it! You're going to dump the fop and move in with me, aren't you!?" (Turns to Raoul) "Ha! In your face, Vicomte!" (Begins doing his little happy dance)
Christine : "Er, well, no, Erik, I'm sorry, but that's not what I was going to say." (Erik freezes, mid-Cabbage Patch)
Erik : "It's not?"
Christine : (Hesitently) "No ... You see, the thing is ..." (She takes a breath) "... There's someone else."
Raoul and Erik : "WHAT!!?"
Christine : "I didn't want to tell you, Raoul, cause I was afraid you'd be hurt, and I didn't want to tell you, Erik, cause I was afraid you'd kill him." (The Persian appears out of the shadows and stands next to Christine)
Persian : "No, he won't, because he promised me that he wouldn't kill people anymore," (Eyes Erik) "Remember?"
Erik : *Grumble*
Persian : (To Christine) "Go on, dearest, tell them."
Raoul : "Dearest!? Wait a minute, what are you saying? It's not ... Is it?" (Erik and Raoul stare at Christine and the Persian in disbelief)
Erik : "WHAT!? Bu - but, Christine! He's not even your type!"
Raoul : "Yeah! His dark and rougish middle-eastern good looks don't even come close to my sparkling eyes and irresistably charming smile!"
Erik : "Nor does he have even half of my incredible genius. I'll bet you'd never confuse him with the Angel of Music."
Christine : (Patronizing) "I knew this was going to be hard on you two, but I'm afraid you're just going to have to accept it and move on with your lives. Besides, I don't think it would have ever worked out with either of you anyway."
Erik : "Whattya mean!? My voice alone has been enough to make you melt into a puddle of syrupy sweetness on more than one occasion. And let's not forget how succeptable you are to my gently seductive caress."
Raoul : "Never mind all that! We were freakin' married for pete's sake! In a church and everything!"
Christine : "Yes, Raoul, but really that was just a desperate attempt on my part to relive my childhood and the memory of my dead father. It was more like playing house than anything else. We didn't even sleep in the same bed." (Raoul sputters incoherently as Christine turns to Erik) "And, well, you're just kinda scary. What with all the murdering and the kidnapping and the raving madman-lunatic thing - It's just too much for a girl to deal with! I need someone safe and reliable, who I know won't throw a tantrum if I happen to tear his mask away."
Persian : "Which I would never do."
Erik : (Witheringly) "Nadir, you don't even wear a mask."
Persian : "How do you know that? Maybe I do and you just never cared enough to notice." *sniff*
Christine : "I'm sorry, but I'm afraid this is how it's just going to have to be. But hey! Look on the bright side! At least now you two don't have to hate each other anymore. You can be friends!" (Raoul and Erik look horrified) "Well don't look as if I just threw up on you. It'll be fun, you'll see!"
Persian : "I think we'd better go, darling, we have dinner reservations for six."
Christine : "Okay then." (To Raoul and Erik) "See ya round, guys! Thanks for being so sweet and fighting to the death for me and all that! If you ever need anything, just drop me a line at Nadir's. Ciao!" (She and the Persian leave. There is a brief moment of shocked silence)
Giry : "Well! That was definitely something you don't see everyday!"
Carlotta : "You can say that again, sugar. This place is starting to get a little too weird, I gotta get outta here." (Turns to Erik) "Can I go now?"
Erik : (Gestures towards Raoul) "Ask him. He's the one who kidnapped you."
Carlotta : "Er ... right." (To Raoul) "Can I go now?"
Raoul : "What do I care? I don't live here anymore! I don't own this gigantic opera house or this cool organ or that tempermental ballet mistress!"
Giry : "Hey!"
Raoul : "I don't have anything except a big empty town house, a chamber maid, and two dust bunnies!" (Bursts into floods of tears)
Erik : "Perfect ..."
Carlotta : "Uh, yeah ..." (Awkwardly pats Raoul on the shoulder) "There, there ... *ahem* Wow, wouldja look at the time! Looks like I gotta be getting to that ... um ... you know ... thing ... with the ... and the ... uh ..." (Looks to Mme Giry helplessly)
Giry : "Oh, yeah! I know exactly what you're talking about! The, uh, thing! The really important thing! Can't be late for that ... thing ... I'll, er, show you the way out ..." (They slowly scootch towards the door before abandoning propriety altogether and bolting for the exit. There is another awkward pause, interrupted only by the sound of Raoul's sniffling. Erik sighs and offers him a hanky, which he greatfully accepts.)
Raoul : "Well ..." *snifflesnifflehonk* "... Now what am I supposed to do?"
Erik : (Scowling) "Whattya mean, what are you supposed to do? Didn't you hear what Chip and Dale just said? You've got an Opera house to run! Rehearsals to schedual, performances to book, hands to shake, champagne to drink!"
Raoul : *whimper* "But I don't know how to run an Opera house!"
Erik : "I'm sure you'll be able to figure it out. How hard can it be? I mean, look who your predecessors are." (Raoul looks at him skeptically) "You'll be fine. Really. Now if you'll excuse me, I think I have some sulking to do."
Raoul : (Cautiously) "You know, they say misery loves company ..."
Erik : "Yeah, well my misery prefers to be left alone to wallow in its own self-pity, but thanks just the same."
Raoul : (Trying a different approach) "I'm sure you know a lot about running an Opera house."
Erik : "I know a lot about a lot of things, Junior. What does that have anything to do with ..." (It dawns on him) "Waaaaiiiiiit just a minute there, you're not suggesting that I -" (Raoul looks hopeful) "You mean ... You want us to try and manage this Opera house ..." (Swallows and makes a face) "... Together!? But I thought we hated each other with the white-hot passion of a thousand Arabian suns!"
Raoul : "Do you remember why we decided to despise one another for all eternity?"
Erik : "Well of course! Just how dumb do you think I am? We were both rivals ... for ... Christine ..." (Blinking) "Oh ..."
Raoul : (Happily) "See? Now we can be friends, just like Christine said!"
Erik : "Damn, the crafty little wench was right! I hate it when she's right!"
Raoul : (Grabbing Erik around the waist) "I always wanted a brother!"
Erik : (Horrified) "You did have a brother, you moron, but then I accidentally killed him!" (Struggles to free himself from Raoul's iron grip) "I can't believe that after all these months of plotting and hatred and jealously, AND the numerous death threats and attempts on my life, you want to just put all that aside and suddenly become FRIENDS!? How in the world does that work!? I mean, a person would literally have to have the intelligence quotient of, say, a kumquat to be able to ..." (Stares down at Raoul, who is still hugging him and not paying the slightest bit of attention to what he is saying) *sigh* "Why am I wasting my breath?" (Prys Raoul loose and sits him down on the divan) "Look, as tempting as your offer may sound, I'm afraid I can't accept it."
Raoul : "Why not!?"
Erik : "Because I still hate you." (Raoul, surprisingly, does not burst into a fresh round of tears.)
Raoul : (Thoughtfully) "You know, in any other business, that would probably be a problem. But this is show business we're talking about! People work with people they hate all the time! Don't you know why they call it Drama?"
Erik : "So ... Technically, if we were to work together, I wouldn't have to be nice to you?"
Raoul : "Nope."
Erik : "And I would have the opportunity to run this place without worrying about any disobeying managers or troublesome patrons?"
Raoul : "Yup."
Erik : (Suspiciously) "Can I pick the shows?"
Raoul : *shrugs* "Sure."
Erik : "Can I have my own office?"
Raoul : "Mmm ... We'll talk."
Erik : "But wait. Being the manager means that you have to talk to a whole lotta people and throw extravagent galas and hob-nob with those boring high- society bourgeouise ..."
Raoul : "I know! Isn't that cool?"
Erik : "Well duh, it's cool for you. That's really the only thing you're good at. But, in case you haven't noticed, I'm not exactly a "people person," for obvious reasons. I don't really like doing all that stuff."
Raoul : (Nods his head knowingly) "Oh, because of the mask."
Erik : "Nothing gets by you."
Raoul : "Not to worry, amigo! I've got it all figured out! Since you're the brainy one, you can handle all the smart, business-y stuff. Ya know, pick the shows, renew contracts, handle the moolah, yada yada. And since I have the people skills, I'll deal with all the galas and publicity and press related-stuff!"
Erik : (Stunned) "That may be the first remotely intelligent thing I have ever heard come out of your mouth. Looks like being in my body actually did you some good."
Raoul : "Er, let's not get carried away ..." (A pause)
Erik : "So ... Now what do you wanna do?"
Raoul : "Ooh, let's go TP Nadir's front yard!"
Erik : "Yeah! I've got some toilet paper that I keep stashed up in the flies for just such an emergency."
Raoul : "Ya know, Erik, I think this could be the start of a beautiful friendship."
Erik : "Er, let's not get carried away ..."
THE END!
Erik : "I knew it! You're going to dump the fop and move in with me, aren't you!?" (Turns to Raoul) "Ha! In your face, Vicomte!" (Begins doing his little happy dance)
Christine : "Er, well, no, Erik, I'm sorry, but that's not what I was going to say." (Erik freezes, mid-Cabbage Patch)
Erik : "It's not?"
Christine : (Hesitently) "No ... You see, the thing is ..." (She takes a breath) "... There's someone else."
Raoul and Erik : "WHAT!!?"
Christine : "I didn't want to tell you, Raoul, cause I was afraid you'd be hurt, and I didn't want to tell you, Erik, cause I was afraid you'd kill him." (The Persian appears out of the shadows and stands next to Christine)
Persian : "No, he won't, because he promised me that he wouldn't kill people anymore," (Eyes Erik) "Remember?"
Erik : *Grumble*
Persian : (To Christine) "Go on, dearest, tell them."
Raoul : "Dearest!? Wait a minute, what are you saying? It's not ... Is it?" (Erik and Raoul stare at Christine and the Persian in disbelief)
Erik : "WHAT!? Bu - but, Christine! He's not even your type!"
Raoul : "Yeah! His dark and rougish middle-eastern good looks don't even come close to my sparkling eyes and irresistably charming smile!"
Erik : "Nor does he have even half of my incredible genius. I'll bet you'd never confuse him with the Angel of Music."
Christine : (Patronizing) "I knew this was going to be hard on you two, but I'm afraid you're just going to have to accept it and move on with your lives. Besides, I don't think it would have ever worked out with either of you anyway."
Erik : "Whattya mean!? My voice alone has been enough to make you melt into a puddle of syrupy sweetness on more than one occasion. And let's not forget how succeptable you are to my gently seductive caress."
Raoul : "Never mind all that! We were freakin' married for pete's sake! In a church and everything!"
Christine : "Yes, Raoul, but really that was just a desperate attempt on my part to relive my childhood and the memory of my dead father. It was more like playing house than anything else. We didn't even sleep in the same bed." (Raoul sputters incoherently as Christine turns to Erik) "And, well, you're just kinda scary. What with all the murdering and the kidnapping and the raving madman-lunatic thing - It's just too much for a girl to deal with! I need someone safe and reliable, who I know won't throw a tantrum if I happen to tear his mask away."
Persian : "Which I would never do."
Erik : (Witheringly) "Nadir, you don't even wear a mask."
Persian : "How do you know that? Maybe I do and you just never cared enough to notice." *sniff*
Christine : "I'm sorry, but I'm afraid this is how it's just going to have to be. But hey! Look on the bright side! At least now you two don't have to hate each other anymore. You can be friends!" (Raoul and Erik look horrified) "Well don't look as if I just threw up on you. It'll be fun, you'll see!"
Persian : "I think we'd better go, darling, we have dinner reservations for six."
Christine : "Okay then." (To Raoul and Erik) "See ya round, guys! Thanks for being so sweet and fighting to the death for me and all that! If you ever need anything, just drop me a line at Nadir's. Ciao!" (She and the Persian leave. There is a brief moment of shocked silence)
Giry : "Well! That was definitely something you don't see everyday!"
Carlotta : "You can say that again, sugar. This place is starting to get a little too weird, I gotta get outta here." (Turns to Erik) "Can I go now?"
Erik : (Gestures towards Raoul) "Ask him. He's the one who kidnapped you."
Carlotta : "Er ... right." (To Raoul) "Can I go now?"
Raoul : "What do I care? I don't live here anymore! I don't own this gigantic opera house or this cool organ or that tempermental ballet mistress!"
Giry : "Hey!"
Raoul : "I don't have anything except a big empty town house, a chamber maid, and two dust bunnies!" (Bursts into floods of tears)
Erik : "Perfect ..."
Carlotta : "Uh, yeah ..." (Awkwardly pats Raoul on the shoulder) "There, there ... *ahem* Wow, wouldja look at the time! Looks like I gotta be getting to that ... um ... you know ... thing ... with the ... and the ... uh ..." (Looks to Mme Giry helplessly)
Giry : "Oh, yeah! I know exactly what you're talking about! The, uh, thing! The really important thing! Can't be late for that ... thing ... I'll, er, show you the way out ..." (They slowly scootch towards the door before abandoning propriety altogether and bolting for the exit. There is another awkward pause, interrupted only by the sound of Raoul's sniffling. Erik sighs and offers him a hanky, which he greatfully accepts.)
Raoul : "Well ..." *snifflesnifflehonk* "... Now what am I supposed to do?"
Erik : (Scowling) "Whattya mean, what are you supposed to do? Didn't you hear what Chip and Dale just said? You've got an Opera house to run! Rehearsals to schedual, performances to book, hands to shake, champagne to drink!"
Raoul : *whimper* "But I don't know how to run an Opera house!"
Erik : "I'm sure you'll be able to figure it out. How hard can it be? I mean, look who your predecessors are." (Raoul looks at him skeptically) "You'll be fine. Really. Now if you'll excuse me, I think I have some sulking to do."
Raoul : (Cautiously) "You know, they say misery loves company ..."
Erik : "Yeah, well my misery prefers to be left alone to wallow in its own self-pity, but thanks just the same."
Raoul : (Trying a different approach) "I'm sure you know a lot about running an Opera house."
Erik : "I know a lot about a lot of things, Junior. What does that have anything to do with ..." (It dawns on him) "Waaaaiiiiiit just a minute there, you're not suggesting that I -" (Raoul looks hopeful) "You mean ... You want us to try and manage this Opera house ..." (Swallows and makes a face) "... Together!? But I thought we hated each other with the white-hot passion of a thousand Arabian suns!"
Raoul : "Do you remember why we decided to despise one another for all eternity?"
Erik : "Well of course! Just how dumb do you think I am? We were both rivals ... for ... Christine ..." (Blinking) "Oh ..."
Raoul : (Happily) "See? Now we can be friends, just like Christine said!"
Erik : "Damn, the crafty little wench was right! I hate it when she's right!"
Raoul : (Grabbing Erik around the waist) "I always wanted a brother!"
Erik : (Horrified) "You did have a brother, you moron, but then I accidentally killed him!" (Struggles to free himself from Raoul's iron grip) "I can't believe that after all these months of plotting and hatred and jealously, AND the numerous death threats and attempts on my life, you want to just put all that aside and suddenly become FRIENDS!? How in the world does that work!? I mean, a person would literally have to have the intelligence quotient of, say, a kumquat to be able to ..." (Stares down at Raoul, who is still hugging him and not paying the slightest bit of attention to what he is saying) *sigh* "Why am I wasting my breath?" (Prys Raoul loose and sits him down on the divan) "Look, as tempting as your offer may sound, I'm afraid I can't accept it."
Raoul : "Why not!?"
Erik : "Because I still hate you." (Raoul, surprisingly, does not burst into a fresh round of tears.)
Raoul : (Thoughtfully) "You know, in any other business, that would probably be a problem. But this is show business we're talking about! People work with people they hate all the time! Don't you know why they call it Drama?"
Erik : "So ... Technically, if we were to work together, I wouldn't have to be nice to you?"
Raoul : "Nope."
Erik : "And I would have the opportunity to run this place without worrying about any disobeying managers or troublesome patrons?"
Raoul : "Yup."
Erik : (Suspiciously) "Can I pick the shows?"
Raoul : *shrugs* "Sure."
Erik : "Can I have my own office?"
Raoul : "Mmm ... We'll talk."
Erik : "But wait. Being the manager means that you have to talk to a whole lotta people and throw extravagent galas and hob-nob with those boring high- society bourgeouise ..."
Raoul : "I know! Isn't that cool?"
Erik : "Well duh, it's cool for you. That's really the only thing you're good at. But, in case you haven't noticed, I'm not exactly a "people person," for obvious reasons. I don't really like doing all that stuff."
Raoul : (Nods his head knowingly) "Oh, because of the mask."
Erik : "Nothing gets by you."
Raoul : "Not to worry, amigo! I've got it all figured out! Since you're the brainy one, you can handle all the smart, business-y stuff. Ya know, pick the shows, renew contracts, handle the moolah, yada yada. And since I have the people skills, I'll deal with all the galas and publicity and press related-stuff!"
Erik : (Stunned) "That may be the first remotely intelligent thing I have ever heard come out of your mouth. Looks like being in my body actually did you some good."
Raoul : "Er, let's not get carried away ..." (A pause)
Erik : "So ... Now what do you wanna do?"
Raoul : "Ooh, let's go TP Nadir's front yard!"
Erik : "Yeah! I've got some toilet paper that I keep stashed up in the flies for just such an emergency."
Raoul : "Ya know, Erik, I think this could be the start of a beautiful friendship."
Erik : "Er, let's not get carried away ..."
THE END!