Steven grit his teeth and covered his face - the crystal gems were all in front of him, practically cornering him in the room.
"We're here if you need to talk, Steven, you're hurting, we want to he-" Pearl said, reaching out.
Steven backed away further into the corner, shaking his head and trying to hold it together. "No! If you wanted to help you would've done something already!"
He felt the sensation well up in his chest and cheeks, the bright burning pain that enveloped his body and number out everything else but the pain he was feeling. It spread like a flame, turning whatever he used to try and calm down into fuel for the inferno.
"Steven, man, we didn't know, we would've come sooner if-" Amethyst began, trying to put her hand on Steven's shoulder. The pink flare only grew and Steven slapped her hand away.
"How could you not have realized - how could any of you not have realized that I could maybe be hurting?!" Steven said, his throat burning in pain as the warped power twisted his words into explosive daggers. "I've almost died! Multiple times! Do you know what that can even feel like?.. No. No of course you don't understand.."
"Steven, you're bigger than this, take a breath," Garner began, holding her ground.
Steven stamped on the floorboards, the house rocking and the wood chipping and breaking underfoot. "I don't care if I'm bigger than this or not, I don't - I don't want to be! I spent my entire life helping everyone through everything! White Diamond tried to kill me, Jasper wanted me dead, Eyeball wanted me dead, Peridot wanted me dead, Bismuth tried to kill me, I - I watched Lars die when the diamonds still wanted me dead, and Bluebird still wants me dead, and at this point, I think she's the only sane one amongst them!"
"Steven, that's not true! We-" Pearl began.
"You what?! Didn't care? Never came to check up on me when I was younger? Ignored me whenever I had a problem? Yelled at me about why I was wrong when I saw something in the portal? Oh, and when I was right, you never even apologized! None of you have EVER apologized! Not once! You never cared when I was a kid, and the only reason you care now is because I have powers! Powers you can't ignore anymore!"
Garnet took a step towards Steven, putting a hand on his shoulder. He looked up at her, rage still visible on his face as the high-pitched hum rang through his ears, pink shrouding his vision. "Steven. We made our mistakes in the past, please, let us make up for it now-"
Steven pulled away, screaming, a barrier forming between him and the gems,
"NO! I don't want your help, Garnet! I don't want any of your help! You expect me, after years of not being able to confide in you guys without having to...to fix you guys - to just...forgive you? To just forget it all happened and talk about it? You were supposed to take care of me! You were supposed to be parents to me!"
"We were trying, Steven! Do you think we've ever parented before?" Pearl said, tears in her eyes.
"If you weren't ready to take care of me, you shouldn't have taken me in at all!" Steven screamed, the barrier exploding outwards, a thunderwave destroying more of the house. A light fell down from the ceiling, shattering as the glass sprawled across the floor. Steven fell to the ground as his barrier reformed, in a crying heap. "None of you...did anything for me. I was thirteen, and I had to help three thousands of year old gems deal with losing my mother. I felt like it was...my fault she was gone. Like every single bit of pain you all ever felt was my fault, and that if I wasn't helping you through it, I wasn't good enough. But that's how it was, wasn't it? You only helped me when I was in Stevonnie, you only asked if I was okay so the fusion could be safe. You never - not once asked if I was okay."
Steven balled his fists on the ground, shaking as the tears rolled down his face. He hated when he angry-cried. They probably thought he was showing weakness, or trying to confide the in them, and it made his blood boil hotter. "It was always your problems, your insecurities, your battles, your arguments, your problems! You didn't care!"
Steven choked and sobbed, almost retching onto the ground from the intensity of his emotions. He felt like he was going to rip himself apart from the inside out. Everything about him burned, and as the tears rolled off his face, he felt like they should've been melting through the cracked remains of the floorboards beneath him.
"You...you never did. If you could ignore my problem, you did. If you could disprove my problem, you did. It would've just taken one conversation, one 'We're sorry,' but you didn't. And now I can't tell if you're trying to help now because I'm hurting, or because you're afraid I'll hurt you."
The gems looked at one another in silence, as Steven took a deep breath and coughed, and began walking out. "I'm...I'm leaving. I don't know where I'm going. I'm gonna go talk to Dad and take the car with him and go...anywhere else. I need to spend time with someone who might actually care. He apologized when he messed up. Something you guys could take a note from."
Steven stepped through the doorway, glaring back at the crystal gems, fire in his eyes. "And if you're really serious about wanting to help me? That you want to help me heal? Don't. Follow me."