"There!" the Doctor sighed with relief, her puzzle finally complete. "How long did that take?"
Yaz answered, "About two and a half hours, I think. Maybe three?" The Doctor groaned, causing her to laugh. She'd watched the Time Lord work tirelessly at that puzzle for the last few hours in an attempt to pass the time while Graham and Ryan were away.
The Doctor sat on the floor of the lounge, internally whining about how long they had to wait.
"Wait, Yaz, when did they say they'd be back?" she asked. She hoped that it would be soon.
"Well, Graham did say that he and Ryan were visiting some of Grace's family today. I heard they live over by Manchester." Yaz told the Doctor. "God knows why Graham insisted on driving himself and Ryan instead of taking the TARDIS." she giggled. "Did you have anything else in mind other than that puzzle?" she pointed at the image on the floor, giving the Doctor a you're-literally-a-child look.
The Doctor became offended.
"Oi!" she huffed. After a moment she relaxed and said, "I mean, yeah, I have other stuff. How about a movie?"
Yaz smiled at the Doctor.
"Yeah, sure. A movie sounds nice, but don't ask me to pick because I'll spend all day deciding." she laughed. Seeing the Time Lord excited always made her happy. She knew that she had deeper feelings for the woman, but also knew what she wanted would never be possible. After all, here was this ancient alien who knew just about everything one could imagine and had lived through so many historical events with so many other people. Then there was Yaz, a nearly 20-year-old junior police officer travelling the universe in hopes of living a more interesting life. There was hardly a comparison between the two. Yaz had hopped on board the TARDIS with a woman with more history than her secondary school textbooks. A woman she felt she barely knew.
"Alright, then," the Doctor said, bringing Yaz back from her thoughts. "I went to look for movies but for some reason this was all I could find." She looked expectantly at Yaz, waiting for some sort of reply.
It was some kind of romantic comedy Yaz had never seen, so she just nodded her head to answer the Doctor. She wondered if maybe the TARDIS had purposefully hid all of the other movies. She was reading too far into the situation. Besides, it wasn't like she'd recently been hooked up to the ship's telepathic circuits. She tried to shove her thoughts and feelings to the back of her mind and moved from the floor to the couch.
The TARDIS had a cool built-in T.V. in one of the walls of the lounge, and the screen appeared when a disc was put into a standard-looking DVD player to the side. Yaz was always a little confused by it, but had grown mostly used to it. Usually, the ship somehow matched some ambient lighting to the theme or category of the movie. In this case, though, Yaz was a bit nervous for the lights and movie.
The Doctor popped the movie disc into its slot, the screen showing up soon after. She used her sonic to "press" play, which cued up the room's lights. Uh oh, Yaz thought. They were a soft red with some violet peeking through. They weren't inherently romantic colors, but given the context of the movie, Yaz knew it was going to be hard to think otherwise.
While the Time Lord watched and paid attention to the film, all Yaz could do was think about what it would be like if she and the Doctor were the characters in it. They began, in typical rom-com fashion, as strangers. They had a coincidental introduction, kind of like Yaz had had with the woman sitting next to her. That night on the train was the beginning of a life that she would never have thought possible before she met the Doctor. The events leading up to it all linked together, eventually bringing the close-knit group together. All of those small coincidences that put her at the base of the hill with Ryan, or that had put her on duty that day in the first place. Had any of these things not occurred, she might not have met the most influential woman she'd ever know.
"Yaz, you okay?" the Doctor's question broke Yaz from her daydreaming. She realized that she'd turned her gaze to the floor while thinking. Maybe it had looked like she was sad or concerned, as that was the sort of expression her face held while she was deep in thought.
"Yeah, only thinking." she gave the woman a smile and hoped they would leave it at that. She didn't want to have to explain what she was thinking or try to come up with a lie.
"You sure? You looked kind of like something was bothering you. You do know you can talk to me if that's the case, right?" the Doctor looked Yaz in the eyes and put her hand on top of her companion's.
Fuck. With the small touch, Yaz was almost reduced to nothing. She was already flustered under the Doctor's gaze and it definitely didn't help that they were now closer together.
"I'm fine, Doctor. Honest." she made another weak attempt at a smile. She thought about saying, oh yeah, Doc, I'm totally chill. It's just that I might be in love with you and it's all I can think about. It was all she could do to feign being calm and wish they could go back to watching the movie. But, she still felt the Time Lord's eyes on her when she turned away. The concern still hadn't left her pupils, which made Yaz feel bad about lying. It wasn't as if she was going to confess her feelings, though.
"Okay. Mind if I ask what you were thinking about, then?"
Shit! Fuck! Help! Yaz wished she were anywhere else at that moment. Anywhere that wasn't a few inches away from the Doctor. She knew she'd failed at hiding her emotions, though, because the woman's look shifted from concern to confusion.
"What's that face for?" the Doctor chuckled. Yaz couldn't laugh. She also couldn't move, so she was stuck there looking at the Doctor with wide eyes.
After another moment with no answer, the Doctor lightly rubbed Yaz's arm.
"It's okay if you don't want to tell me. But you don't have to worry about judgement if you do. Nothing could change my opinion of you, Yasmin Khan." her eyes softened before they pulled away from Yaz's face.
Even with the Doctor's eyes off of her, Yaz couldn't stop staring. She'd begun to take in the details of the woman she wished she wasn't falling in love with. The soft lights bounced off of the surface of her skin, and the messy strands of hair on her head soaked them in as they became one. Her face held a calm, attentive expression. Eyes focused, soft lips slightly open. Lips slightly open. Yaz knew it was wrong to keep her mind on the Doctor's lips, but her thoughts focused on the space between the upper and lower. She imagined her own welded to the Time Lord's, soaking in the warmth of each other.
The Doctor's beauty astounded Yaz. She didn't need to dress up or wear makeup, she was just gorgeous all on her own. Her blonde hair fell so perfectly atop her head. The hazel irises in her eyes threatened to pull Yaz into their depths. From the stray hairs on her head to the blue striped socks on her feet, there was nothing flawed about the woman.
It was all Yaz could do to stop herself from kissing her then and there.
Once again the Doctor had caught Yaz in thought, this time meeting her eyes as she turned.
"Yaz, are you sure you're okay?"
God, her eyes are so pretty right now. And her lips…
"I promise, Doctor, everything's perfect." she flashed a smile, larger than her previous attempt.
The Time Lord shifted and turned herself to face Yaz completely. She took both of her hands in her own in an attempt to comfort the young woman.
"I never want you to think that I don't care about you, okay? I have a duty of care for anyone that boards this ship." she gestured to the space around them. "I want to be here for you. Always."
"I know, Doctor. It's just…" Yaz trailed off, unsure of how to explain her mindset without revealing too much.
The Doctor's eyes roamed around the younger woman's face, trying to find something to tell her what was the matter. She always found humans so complex, almost annoyingly so. They felt so much in one moment and she knew Time Lords did too, but humans were just...different.
Yaz took a breath and treaded carefully with her words.
"It's just that I'm feeling conflicted at the moment. Not anything of concern, just personal things. You see, a friend of mine has been confiding in me about what she's been going through and I've been trying to help." She hoped that the Doctor wouldn't see straight through her and know that this "friend" was just Yaz.
"Well," the Doctor pondered, "what's your friend struggling with? It seems like she's dumped this on you, maybe I can lessen the weight."
Their hands were still touching, heat exchanging with heat as the quiet sound of a forgotten movie met with the breathing of both women. A moment Yaz tried to savor as every thought in her head raced past one another.
"She really likes someone, but she's certain they could never be together. She was telling me that her feelings were too strong to ignore, though." Yaz gulped and tried to keep from avoiding the Doctor's gaze. "I know it sounds so childish but I- she doesn't know how to confess her feelings."
You really did it this time, Yasmin Khan. She prayed to the gods that the Doctor hadn't noticed her slip-up. After that mistake Yaz now stared at their hands laying between them and silence filled the air. It wasn't uncomfortable, or awkward, but just a little bit tense as Yaz continued to avoid looking at the Doctor.
The Doctor's face contorted into a quizzical expression. Yaz could tell what was coming, but wished that she could go hide in her room instead of discussing the truth. She couldn't avoid this forever.
"I'm not accusing you of lying, but this isn't about a friend, is it?" the ancient, seemingly all-knowing woman met her companion's eyes when the younger woman's face lifted.
Neither of them said anything for a little while. Their hands remained together, but their eyes had moved on to other things. It seemed that both of them were trying to avoid the inevitable.
After what felt like hours Yaz sighed, "No, it isn't. It's about me." She pulled her hands out from under the Doctor's, instead bringing them up to hide her face. Her thoughts leapt to the only outcome she could imagine, which was one she feared would manifest.
"I thought so." the Doctor's eyes were still calm, still warm. Her mouth stretched into a small smile. "Do you mind if I ask who it is you fancy?" she laughed a bit when she said that. She was trying to be the kind of friend that she'd seen in some movies Yaz had watched in the past. She hoped acting like this would help the young woman feel more comfortable.
"I wish I could, Doctor, I really do. But, I...it's really complicated and hard to explain and-"
Yaz was interrupted by the Doctor's lips.
Fireworks bloomed behind her eyes, ignited by euphoria, and her heart started singing a song she'd never heard before. The music danced around the bursts of color when they met in her mouth, a symphony of notes and hues.
She melted into the kiss, pulling the Time Lord a bit closer. She savored the feeling of their lips interlocked with each other, memorizing the soft curves of them. When the two separated, Yaz had a smile plastered on her face. She didn't even have words to describe how relieved she felt.
"Was that okay?" the Doctor asked. Her face had adopted a pink hue, and she was smiling as well.
All Yaz could do was nod. She'd been lifted above the clouds. Her mind lingered with the kiss, never wanting to leave its side in fear of losing the moment. She replayed it in her head until she felt she could let herself come back to the ground.
"It was more than okay. I have to ask, though," she caught the Doctor's curious eye, "How did you know? About how I feel, I mean."
The Time Lord planted a kiss on Yaz's forehead and caressed her cheek.
"Oh, Yaz…" she took in the sight of the young, beautiful woman before her. Yasmin Khan had become someone she knew she could trust, and someone she felt she could become close to. Her arms wrapped around Yaz. She closed the remaining space between them, bringing her companion into an embrace she'd wanted for so long. "I always know."