About half an hour into How to Train Your Dragon Luke is out like a light. He's curled into Poe who managed to arrive just in time for the movie to start. They'd brought in a little flat screen from home and hooked up a DVD player in the corner so Luke could watch some of his favorites on those days he's trapped in bed with nothing to do but vomit and sleep and cry.

Once he's out Poe pulls his little body closer for some well-earned snuggles. While all this has been vicious on Rey she never actually sat back to consider how hard it must be for Poe and Finn. While she's able to take time off for compassionate care leave Finn and Poe have no such rights. They're forced to take vacation or continue their lives as though nothing has changed. It's a joke really because nothing it seems will ever be quite the same again.

Poe's shifts are long and hard but sometimes they take him by the hospital. While he's not technically supposed to go visiting when he has a moment he usually stops in dragging his partner Snap along with him. Snap and his wife Quorra have been friends of theirs for years so he doesn't say much when they linger a little longer than necessary.

Finn has his computer sitting on his lap, his ear pods plugged in as he hammers away at his keyboard. He looks up from time to time catching something on the tv that makes him smile but it's short-lived. Despite everything that's going on, Finn still has deadlines to meet. It would be easier to finish up at the house but he finds it too quiet, too empty when half of his family spends most of their time at the hospital.

Rey hasn't told either of them yet that she plans on confessing to Ben. They'll support her, it isn't even a question but there are some conversations she's just not ready to have quite yet. She only briefly mentions slipping out to say hello to Han before his surgery. Skywalker left a little earlier, just before Luke started to fall asleep with a promise to text Rey when Ben was gone for the night.

The text comes in closer to nine. Poe has himself wrapped around Luke's sleeping body slowly drifting off as Finn closes the lid on his laptop.

"I'll stay until you get back," he mumbles, rubbing at his eyes. He's tired, they all are… It feels like an eternity since they've had any idea of what normal should look like for their family. "Poe can come get me in the morning."

No one has slept under the same roof in weeks. Rey hasn't actually left the hospital in just as long. It's strange and unnatural and maybe they're right about her getting out?

She has the path to Han's room memorized now. There have been several sleepless nights she's walked the halls with no intended destination to find herself lingering outside his room. It's a little creepy when she thinks about it but maybe there's more to it than that. This pull she feels to Ben, maybe it extends to Han and Leia as well. A need for family her subconscious has been playing on repeat since she met them.

Her phone chimes as she steps onto the elevator. It's a number she doesn't recognize but the three little words that follow ignite in her veins like sparking wildfire.

Unknown: Hey, it's Ben

All she can do is stand and stare, her thumb hovering over the screen unsure whether to not she should swipe or ignore. It's not a shock, at least it shouldn't be, she knew it was coming. She should have been prepared for this and she was. She just wasn't prepared for the strange bubbling of joy that erupts in her chest when the text lights up her screen. Joy that distracts her when the elevator doors open and her feet slip onto tiled flooring again bringing her crashing into a rather broad, rather firm chest.

She's startled from her strange elation as the impact of the collision causes her to both stumble back and lose her phone at the same time. Shock brings her back into her body as she blinks once, twice, three times taking in the brick wall of a body she's just bumped into. Tall, with dark tousled hair that looks like someone's been running their hairs through it endlessly. Dark eyes, full mouth, toothy grin… Ben.

"I'm so…" he starts, clearly not realizing who she is as he bends to pick up her phone for her. His message is still hovering traitorously on the screen above another that's clearly only just come in.

Luke: Ben came back, maybe wait a minute

"Rey," he offers softly, his lips upturned in a sweet sort of smile, "You avoiding me?" Ben asks with a chuckle as he hands the phone back over to her. He doesn't seem upset by the idea, but more of less amused.

Rey However has no idea how to respond because yes, truthfully she was avoiding him. She was avoiding both him and Gwen and any awkward sort of situation that might follow that meeting. She's maxed out on drama and emotional confusion for one day. For one week really and why is he looking at her like that?

"Is that your son?" He asks casually, nodding to the phone she has closed tightly in her grasp. On the screen behind the text message is a picture of Luke that she took at the Zoo in Coruscant just a week before he had been admitted to the hospital. There's a monkey taking fruit from his hand as he laughs, his smile broad and bright and lined with impossibly sweet dimples. She knows this because she's seen the picture hundreds of times. She has the image etched into her brain, the way Luke's eyes light up with wonder as the small creature interacts with him. Thankfully the text messages obscure Ben's view of Luke's face showing only the top of a dark mop of hair and the rest of him from the neck down. Still, the idea of being outed without warning makes her nervous.

"Uh… yeah. yeah, we were at the Zoo in Coruscant," she offers, "About a month or so ago with my sister Rose," One of their monthly visits that they try hard to keep up with.

Ben nods as though he understands, what exactly it is he understands she's not entirely sure. It seems more an idle gesture than anything else but he's moving on quickly, "So, How do you know Luke?"

It doesn't even occur to her how it might come across as the answer falls from her lips as simple as, "Oh, uh, he's my father?" offering him the truth of the matter.

"What?!" The level of shock in Ben's voice seems entirely unwarranted until Rey realizes the implications of what she's just said. Then it just seems funny.

"I guess you should have answered my texts," she quips lightly, trying not to enjoy this too much. Ben however is not enjoying this at all. His face has dropped and he almost looks pale, his chest heaving as he tugs nervously at the knot of his tie still hanging from the collar of his deep blue button-down. She hadn't realized before but he looks like he may have come straight to the hospital from work. Maybe he had a meeting like Gwen, or… well, it doesn't really matter because whatever the reason he looks good. Really good, even though it also looks like he may have a stoke at any minute.

"You- You mean we're cousins?" he almost whispers as he peers around to make sure no one can overhear them. His eyes are wild and filled with panic, glittering beneath the ambient hospital lighting, "Fuck," oh there's the Ben Solo she knows, "Fuck," he mutters again running a hand through his hair, "Dad, he… oh, Jesus, Dad put two and two together. He knows we slept together."

"Several times," She offers unhelpfully and Ben makes a noise that almost sounds like he's whimpering.

"Oh god… so… so… we're cousins?" Yep, he looks like he's going to be sick, "I didn't get any text messages, I told you that already. I didn't get anything at all, no calls, no messages. I went back looking for you but I couldn't find you. I went to your apartment and there was someone else living there. I asked my friends if they knew you…"

She really is getting too much enjoyment out of this, it's almost cruel watching Ben completely come on done over the issue, "Is that why you wouldn't go out to dinner with me?"

While part of her wants to allow this to go on, the rational and kind part of her wins out, "Oh, stop it," she chides with a soft smile, "Luke is my foster father. We don't share DNA so it's only weird if you let it be."

Ben lets out so shuddered breath that sounds a little like, "Fuuuuuuuuuck me," as he fiddles with his tie trying to set himself to rights. Rey can't help but snicker as Ben looks away from her trying to regain his composure. She had him and while it may have been cruel it was also quite amusing. Even Ben seems to find the humor in it after he manages to settle himself, "That was mean," he chuckles as he quirks a brow. "Why didn't you want to go to dinner then?"

This, this right here is exactly what she wanted to avoid, Ben and his penetrating stare, his full mouth and the undeniable pull she feels towards him. "It didn't seem like a good idea," Rey mumbles.

"And now?"

"It still doesn't," she admits.

"But you've reconsidered?"

"I have."

"So… are you free tomorrow night?"

Tomorrow night, he doesn't waste time does he? "I… can't…"

Ben makes a face that's half disbelief half impatient acceptance, "Right…"

He doesn't need to look like that like she's just told him his suit looks hideous. It doesn't, it makes him look like a proper gentleman the way it clings to his body in all the right places. If Rey's honest with herself it's making it very difficult to keep her hands to herself. Not that she has a deep-seated urge to manhandle him. Just… run her hands over the lapels of his jacket and straighten his tie that he has thoroughly messed up.

"No, I do want to, it's just," tell him the truth Rey, her mind whispers, he's going to find out soon enough, "My son has his second round of chemo tomorrow," the words sound traitorous coming from her mouth, "He didn't respond well to the first round so I just… I want to be here tomorrow night."

Ben's eyes soften his mouth slackening as he wets his lips subconsciously, his mouth hanging agape. He obviously hadn't expected that as an answer, "I…" his voice trembles just a little, "I'm so sorry. Are you ok?"

Rey can see Luke poke his head out of Han's doorway only to quickly duck back in. He doesn't want to get involved, he won't get involved and he'll keep Leia at bay. Tie her to a chair if he needs to. "No," she's not about to lie, not when they're so close to the truth but her voice shakes and her chest feels heavy. A deep part of her wants him to hug her, wants him to hold her.

Because she's so desperately worried about her son, their son… Luke.

Suddenly she 's never felt so surrounded by people and yet so utterly alone.

"I could… bring something in," Ben offers softly, "We could eat here if you wanted," There's that cautious boy again, the one who said such beautiful things, who touched her so tenderly. The one who broke her heart.

"I appreciate it but no," she can't risk him seeing Luke before she has a chance to tell him. She can't risk his reaction, risk Luke's reaction, "Going out would be nice, I haven't actually left the hospital… well at all."

"You've been staying here?"

Rey nods, "I have your number now though, I can text you after Luke's chemo?" It's an olive branch that she hopes he'll take.

"Yeah, absolutely, definitely, whatever works for you," the rambling is sweet as Ben fidgets again with his tie, "So Luke… the Doctor you were with,"

"Cassian, Doctor Andor, he's my son's doctor."

"Luke's doctor…"

"Yes, he's one of them anyway."

Ben mutters something about servicing the mother's needs as well that Rey almost misses, "He thought I was there to see your son?"

Rey has to think a moment, so much has happened in such a short period of time. They'd only gone for coffee earlier in the day and already it feels like it was weeks ago, "Yes…" she says slowly, leaving out the part where he thought Ben was actually there to see his son.

"Ok, ok… Luke who you obviously named after your foster father who is also my uncle…" Rey wants to offer him a sticker for being able to follow along so well but leaves it alone. Sarcasm will do her no good in this situation.

"Yes,"

"Strange to find out we're so connected after all this time, it would have made it so much easier to find you." When his voice dips off Ben looks at his feet, almost bashful, "I did try and find you,"

"Ben…" Rey warns, she doesn't want to do this now. She doesn't want to do it ever if she's being honest. Why he feels it necessary to bring all this up is infuriatingly painful. Then again, she did sort of start it, "You left a note, you disappeared…"

"My dad had a heart attack," he blurts out suddenly. "My phone was dead, I plugged it in and then… well you know what happened. When I woke up the next morning… my phone had been on silent and I had so many missed calls and texts. My father had a heart attack that night and I was with you." he almost sounds like he regrets it but he's shaking his head, "I don't… There are a lot of things I would do differently now. I've played that night over in my head so many times… Leaving you that morning was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I wanted to lay there and hold you for as long you'd let me. I wanted to wake you up…" his voice dies off, his cheeks tinged pink, "I've dreamt about waking you up with my head between your thighs, the taste of you on my tongue. I use to play back that night so I wouldn't lose the sound of your voice or the feel of your lips. I shouldn't, it shouldn't mean so much to me, it was one night five years ago and yet I have you tattooed under my skin. If you called then I'm sorry I was very preoccupied. Then my crazy ex started up again and… Baz stole my phone that's why I never got your texts. I had to get a new number…" he's rambling on now, embarrassed but spurred on by the truth.

Without thinking Rey reaches out to grab his hand. Her fingers slide across his palm as she encloses it in her grasp. "It's ok," she tells him even though it's not. The urge to comfort him is strong and needles at her guilt and anger, "I'm sorry, I am. I didn't mean to make it all about me," When she brings his hand to her cheek she presses his knuckles against her skin for just a moment. He's so warm, even this small piece of him and if she closes her eyes for just a moment she might be able to fool herself into thinking that this small piece of him is enough.

The moment is fleeting, too precious, and yet too indecent to be held onto. Ben isn't hers, she has no right to his hands, or his smile, or his affection. She's simple feasting on the scraps he so carelessly gives like a feral cat so desperate for affection.

"Rey…" he whispers.

And she smiles. It's too much, "Go home Ben. It was five years ago, we're different people now. Go be with Gwen and I'll text you tomorrow. I promise. Look, I'll even text you back right now so we both know we have the right number." Dropping his hand she unlocks her screen and types out a quick.

Rey: Hi Ben, it's Rey."

When his phone chimes in his pocket and Ben smiles. "Alright then. Is it ok if I text you tomorrow to see how Luke's chemo went?"

Her heart does a little jump in her chest, he'll never quite understand what such a simple offer could mean to her but she smiles and nods and then she grins, "That would be nice," she tells him earnestly, "And let me know how Han's surgery goes?"

"Of course."

It almost feels like something has shifted when he pulls away, pressing the button on the elevator as though its the absolute last thing he wants to do. He smiles at her again as he slips into the metal cage and when he's gone it feels a little like her heart might explode in her chest. These are dangerous feelings to have, this budding affection that truthfully has never really gone away. Like a sleeping dragon hoarding it's pile of gold it slumbered and now that it's awake all it wants is more.

Shaking herself as she prepares for the questions sure to come the minute she pushes into Hans's room. There are no questions though, just smiling faces and Han's cheerful, "Hey kid! You made it." as he beckons her over to the bed. Doctor Kanata is sitting in the corner with a glass of what looks like whiskey. She swirls the contents in the cup around as she holds it aloft in silent greeting.

Luke is sitting in a chair by Han's side while Leia perches on the side of the bed holding Han's hand as Rey approaches. "Leia here tells me you have something you need to tell me, sounds serious,"

"You didn't…?"

"Not my story to tell." Leia chirps softly giving Han's hand a squeeze.

"Very ominous, whattya got to tell me kid?"

It almost feels like she's being backed into a corner. It's not that she doesn't want to tell Han but she just had the opportunity to tell Ben and she didn't, now she's supposed to tell his father? It seems so backward and wrong to do it this way. Like she's betraying Ben in some way.

She's really made a mess of things and all for what?

Luke has his hand on her knee and he's smiling at her the way Luke often does. That soft encouraging grin that always seems to let her know everything is going to be ok in the end.

"It doesn't feel right," she says softly, glancing at Luke.

He gives her leg a soft squeeze and the nods, "It's ok," but it's not and now it's too far gone.

Han chuckles awkwardly, "Well, now you gotta tell me,"

The words die on her tongue as she tries to no avail to figure out how to tell him. To tell Han that he has a grandson he's known nothing about. Saying the words out loud still seems far too difficult. Leia had been easier, the conversation came after the fact. Showing her had been a gamble but it had paid off in the end.

Showing him. That's how she was going to do this.

Pulling her phone out quickly she swipes through her images until she finds a good picture of Luke. They're all good, sweet, and funny and filled with memories but she needs one that shows off his face clearly. One that might accent his ears or the dimples that frame his mouth when he smiles. She finds one of him at the pool. It was his first time swimming on his own. He was proud of himself for going under and not being scared. His wet hair is slicked back of his face highlighting his ears while he grins at the camera. His eyes aren't so obvious but they aren't really the selling feature here.

After a deep breath she hands the phone to Han who takes it carefully, "Leia, get my glasses will you?" he asks, holding the device away from his face as he tries to better focus on the screen. After he has his glasses perched atop his nose it takes a moment before he laughs again, "Shit, Leia, you see this?" he's gesturing with the phone towards his wife, "This kid is the spitting image of Benny when he was a kid,"

"That's Luke," Rey says softly.

"Your kid Luke?" Rey nods once as Han slides his glasses off his face. He's holding her phone like a torch in his hand as he mulls through the information, "Your kid… the one who…"

"Yeah, the one with Leukemia," she offers.

Han looks to Leia and then back at Rey, he's almost there he just seems like he's tripping over the information. Like maybe he knows but he doesn't want to admit it, he doesn't want to get there, "He looks an awful lot like…"

"Like his dad," Rey says and Han nods softly.

"Like his dad," he repeats.

"Luke's Ben's son Han," Leia confirms.

"Ben's son… Luke is… he's Ben's son." his words come slow and careful as if he's afraid he's going to make a mistake. "What… Ho… Why didn't you tell us?"

"I was afraid," she offers softly as Luke's hand gives her knee another soft squeeze. "I was here and then he was sick and Ben… I …"

"Benny doesn't know does he?" Han asks quickly.

Rey shakes her head, her eyes lined with tears again. How she has anything left is beyond her. Maybe something to do with the human body being made up of eighty percent water, "I'm going to tell him, I just need to get through tomorrow first."

"Tomorrow." Han parrots again.

"Luke has his second round of chemo. I need to see him through that first and then I'll tell Ben. I want… I want Luke to be… I don't want Ben to see him at the worst."

"He's seen it before kid,"

"Exactly, there will be plenty of opportunities for him to see Luke suffering but the first time he meets him… I'd… I'd like Luke to be… to look… I like Luke to be able to smile."

"You're making a lot of calls for other people there kid," Han doesn't sound angry so much as he does upset. Maybe hurt. His tone is clipped as he hands back Rey's phone, "I respect that you're putting your kid first but all due respect my son deserves a chance to know his kid."

"I know," she offers with a sniffle, "I know he does, I want him to."

"So… what are you waiting for? I don't mean to be crass but we've been down this road before and things can... well they can go wrong."

"Han…"

"Don't you Han me Leia. I've been through the heartbreak of losing a kid. How do you think Ben is going to feel if he meets his son only to lose him. I'm not saying an extra week is a long time but it's better than nothing. What would you give for just one more day with Kylo? If you thought it was a good idea to let her tell us before she told Ben you're fooling yourself."

"Han, give Rey a bit of a break will you?" Luke hedges.

"And how long did you know about this?"

"Luke only found out today, I promise," Rey offers trying desperately to appease Han's agitation. It's warranted but it feels no less harsh hearing her own thoughts spoken back to her.

"Look, Kid, I like you, I do and I appreciate you telling me the truth, us the truth but you gotta tell Ben."

"I will," she promises.

Maz's voice cuts through the air like a firecracker as she barks at Han to back down. "That's enough you old fool," Doctor Kanata pushes away from her corner as she sets her empty glass down on the window cill, "She met you all, and found out her kid was sick on the same day, you might want to cut her some slack."

"This is a family business Maz, keep your big nose out of this," Han grumbles.

"You watch the way you talk to me Solo, I still outrank you," she threatens, "I'm just saying, there's no easy way through any of this and while Ben deserves to know and has his rights the only person in this situation that matters is Luke. So. Now you know. Once Ben knows then you all can rally around that little boy because he's going to need every last one of you for support."

"I have a grandson," He mutters carefully. His smile is quiet but grows as he looks at Leia, "We have a grandson,"

"We do."

"Alright, show us more pictures then."

They pass the evening flicking through Rey's phone going over details and telling stories. Rey learns a little bit about what Ben was like as a kid while she and Luke fill Leia and Han in one little Luke's earlier years. They go through picture after picture talking about how much he looks like Ben but also picking out the areas Luke most resembles Rey as well. It's nice being able to have this. She might not be their daughter in law but she at least has this and Luke will have them.

It's late when Rey and Luke head back downstairs. Luke walks with his arm around her telling her how proud he is. They bump hips as he kisses the side of her head.

Poe and Finn are both out like a light by the time they get back. Poe is still curled around Luke peacefully while Finn snoozes in the recliner next to the bed. They look calm like this not overwhelmed or overtaxed as they have in the days before.

"I think I'll just crash in the room next door," Rey tells Luke softly as she drapes a blanket across Finn's sleeping form. He doesn't stir at all as he mumbles in his sleep, "You should head back to the house and get some rest."

"Come with me." Luke urges and for a second she's almost tempted. The idea of sleeping in her own bed sounds like a dream. A fantasy really.

"I can't, I have to be here for Luke."

"He looks well taken care of. I'm writing a note and you're coming home. You can get a shower, sleep in your own bed and I'll take you back in the morning.

"Finn…" she tries.

"Finn won't mind believe me. He'll be more than happy to hear you actually got a decent night's sleep for once. They have him Rey. They've had him his entire life," Skywalker's eyes are wide and pleading as he takes her hand, "Rey… come on. Let me take care of you."

Reluctantly she nods. They write a quick note to the boys leaving it on Finn's laptop. It's the first place he's sure to look when he opens his eyes. They promise to bring smoothies and treats for a healthy pre-chemo breakfast. A way to ease the guilt of leaving the hospital.

It's not late when they pull into the driveway. It's barely passed ten-thirty actually but it feels like its two in the morning. Rey's body aches as though the mere sight of their home reminds it of all the stress and hardship it's endured. She takes a bath which is glorious while Luke grabs her a glass of wine. It seems indulgent but she barely finishes the merger offering before she's falling asleep amidst the bubbles.

Luke wakes her sometime later with a knock at the door. She doesn't get to finish her glass but it doesn't matter. It was less about the alcohol and more about the act of taking care of herself.

Cassian would be proud if she told him. She should tell him.

Without thinking she grabs her phone and takes a quick bathtub selfie before getting out. The bubbles waft around her chin and stick to her face a bit making her look like several years younger. There's nothing lewd about the picture, if anything the bubbles sticking to her face make her look a little goofy. They draw away from the dark circles under her eyes and the obvious sleepless state.

He'd given her his cell number the other day and would text her from time to time. Simple things like asking after Luke's health or how she was feeling. There's a to of stuff there she needed to wade through but too much to unpack tonight. Instead she sends off the selfie without thinking of its possible implications.

Rey: Took a little time to myself, thought you'd be proud

That night she sleeps in her own bed, it's warm and familiar, and her pajamas feel like heaven. She ignores her phone for the first time in weeks, if it's important they'll call her, and sleep has never felt so good.

For anyone reading, I haven't forgotten A Friendly Referral, I promise! My head has been super fucky with everything going on in my community. As if Covid wasn't bad... too much senseless violence and I'm trying to write to get though it but my head is all... gunked up so... here's hoping this didn't come out angsty and weird. Let me know what you think lovelies!