Author's Notes:

Omega: Welp this was an unexpected fic. Quick story: Ghost S, Foolsgold Fenrir and I were in the LH discord server and we decided to start making jokes about what each sibling would probably get off to. This quickly spiraled out of control into us writing some small snippets which I ended up compiling here. And after some editing, it's now a readable Ch 1! The rest of the fic is already mostly written. So far, I've enjoyed this collab with Ghost S (Don't worry, he's a ghost… writer) and Fenrir! Also, don't worry, they're all legal here.

Ghost S: Wasn't expecting to take part in writing a collab, let alone one of this caliber. Turns out it really made me think outside the box for this, and having these two to work alongside made it all the more fun.

Foolsgold Fenrir: I love working on stuff like this, it really makes one's imagination run wild. Plus, I love working on collaborations in writing, I think they help me improve my own skills too. Besides, writing smut is always fun. The kinkier and more outlandish it is, the better.

Chapter 1: Welcome To The Funtime Machine!

"This is literally so embarrassing!" Lori did her best to cover herself with her hands, her face going red in embarrassment. Despite being over the age of thirty with a massive family of her own, having to stand in front of her siblings in nothing but her underwear still elicited a sense of awkwardness.

"Of course, I wouldn't expect otherwise," A young woman stepped forward, still wearing her iconic green turtleneck and maroon pants and still holding the same stoic expression she had kept since her toddler days. Though she now had a stained lab coat on! So at least some things do change! "I suppose you are all wondering why I invited you into my laboratory and home today."

The siblings all stared at Lisa for a moment, no doubt waiting for someone to utter the obvious sarcastic reply of "No shit," but sadly, no such reply came.

Instead, Lincoln stepped forward. At this point he had grown into a rather tall man, his body becoming more muscular and refined, though his hair remained as pure white as it had been when he was growing up. Usually he'd wear an orange button-down shirt with a white one under along with his blue jeans. "Lisa, one, why'd you call us? And two, why'd you tell us to come in our underwear?"

"Simple," She replied. "It will be easier to clean any messes that occur from this experiment if there are very few soiled linens present."

Lily raised an eyebrow in confusion. "Uhh… so what are you testing?"

With that, she grabbed a nearby tarp and pulled, revealing a rack carrying several VR headsets all connected to what appeared to be an oversized hard drive. "Behold, the Artificial Sexual Stimulation Network Technologically Inclined To Thirsty Yearnings! Abbreviated to A.S.S.N.T.I.T.T.Y.!"

"Uhh, what?" Luan tilted her head. "How many realities did you make?! Haha! It looks you made a rip off of google glass!" she chuckled. Fifteen years and her love of puns had still not waned.

She responded by grabbing one of the goggles off the rack. "Oh just one for each of you," she then raised it up. "With these goggles I will soon create the most addictive personal device in existence!"

"So, like, what does it do?" Leni scratched her head in confusion.

"Simple, with this device, you are able to enter the network system I have created just for these devices. Once inside, you will be able to enjoy any type of sexual stimulation you desire for as long as you like. These also contain specialized spaces tailor-made for each and every one of you based on what I have observed you finding sexually arousing, street name 'fetishes'."

Luna's eyes went wide as her mouth fell agape. "So this can have anything we want?"

"Affirmative," The scientist nodded. "I have set this up so that each custom reality will be fully enjoyable to the user the device is built for," She then walked over to the table and pulled a small list off. "Now, I just need to go down the list."

"List?" Lori raised an eyebrow. "What're you-"

Yet, before she could finish, the woman continued. "Lori, by referencing your browser history-"

"You've gone through my browser history?!" She flared her arms in surprise.

"Affirmative." she flatly responded. "It was remarkably easy to do so."

Lana nudged Lola and chuckled. "That's why you gotta browse in incognito mode."

"That is besides the point," The scientist refocused on the eldest Loud, who at this point had her face go another darker shade of red. Though she wanted to stop Lisa, a sense of morbid curiosity overtook her. Just how deviant were her siblings and would Lisa truly divulge all their dirty laundry?

"Lori, from what I have gathered, you are a loyal and rather vanilla woman."

"Yeah," she crossed her arms. "I don't have three kids with Bobby so far for no reason after all. I'd never consider anything that would try to pleasure me without him."

"Of course. And seeing as you prefer simple intercourse with very little deviation along with the fact that you do no enjoy protection-"

"Always a Loud!" Luan punned, before laughing.

Lisa glared at the comedian, though she was unfazed. "I have designed your space to be a simple bedroom with objects designed to set a romantic mood. For your partners, I have created virtual constructs of your beloved 'Bobby' allowing you to enjoy the feeling of intercourse without worry of infidelity or pregnancy- unless Bobby provides semen samples, but that is for another time."

"Wow…" Lori's eyes went wide as she took her set from the younger girl. "You really did your research… that's exactly what I enjoy."

"I am a scientist; it is my duty to learn as much as I can about a given topic." With that, she grabbed another set of goggles. Though the air turned tense for a moment, the siblings turned to each other, with none willing to stop her. No doubt out of a morbid curiosity. Well, for what it's worth, at least the Louds can keep secrets.

"Next, Leni," She raised the next set, colored seafoam green with flowers decorating it. "I took note of your aloof and rather accident-prone nature as I designed your chambers. Therefore, there is nothing to harm yourself off and the area is cushioned to be as comfortable as possible. Along with this, I noticed that you have a strong desire to make as many people as happy as possible."

"Yep! The more the merrier!" She gave a wide smile.

"Of course, therefore your room is designed to have several partners at once, gender and behavior will be determined by your desires and each of them will be prepared to please you. I will admit, I was genuinely surprised to learn that you enjoy sexual stimulation in a large group, also known as 'orgies', but I cannot say that this is not in your nature."

"Like, I'm totes excited!" With that, Leni took her set of goggles, allowing Lisa to grab the next set, a purple pair with music notes drawn all over it.

Luna chuckled. "Since that's obviously for me, mate, what've you got in store?" She crossed her arms.

"From what I was able to gather, you enjoy 'rolling both ways' as it is colloquially known and will vary your behaviors based on the partners present during your sessions of sexual stimulation. Therefore, I have designed your room to detect your mood and generate partners or partners accordingly." She offered the device, which Luna smiled at and took. "Seeing as I anticipate yours to be shared at points with you and your partner, Sam, I have designed it to be able to connect to an ordinary VR headset so that you both can enjoy it," She also shrugged. "I am also aware of your love of Pokemon, so some items may be included for your enjoyment."

"Great job, love!" Her smile went wide. "Sam's gonna love usin' this with me!"

Luan laughed and held herself. "Man, it looks like she's gonna have some double trouble," she looked to her little sister with a smile. "Don't worry, I'm not gonna talk about S and L around you!"

Lisa paused, unsure of what the 'L' stood for, but rather than try to understand the pun, she just stood up straight and grabbed the next set, a yellow pair decorated with balloons. "As for you Luan, I found your fetishes to be… odd when compared to my perception of you."

The comedian raised an eyebrow in confusion. "Uhh… why do you say that?"

"Given what I saw with our previous siblings, I simply expected something more… outlandish. You seem to enjoy simple vanilla intercourse much like Lori, but have preference to spruce up things by using party supplies as lube and sex toys. I honestly expected your preferences to be worse." She raised the goggles allowing Luan to grab them. "But hey, less coding and imagination required from me."

"Heh, thanks Lisa." She smiled.

"Well after I heard of all the work you put into everyone else's, mine better be worth it," Lynn crossed her arms and snickered. "But I doubt you could make something that could keep up with me."

"Is that a challenge?" Lisa shook her head. "For shame, Lynn. Still doubting my abilities even as I'm providing devices that can sexually stimulate you without fear..." She grabbed the next set, a red pair with sports equipment drawn all over them.

"Then what'd you make for me?" Lynn asked.

"Your fetishes revolve around exhausting your partner and yourself before engaging in coitus. The one that breaks for will be on the bottom while the winner is allowed to ride on top. Therefore, I designed yourself to have a partner of either sex you desire to keep up with you. Similarly to Luna's, your pair of goggles analyzes your mood to see if you wish to win or lose."

With that, Lynn took her pair and chuckled. "Yeah, me? Lose? Not a chance."

With that, Lisa turned to her brother, the man now awkwardly rubbing his arm.

"So, uhh, what about me?"

Lisa replied by grabbing an orange pair off the rack and turning back to him. "Woo boy, yours was an interesting one. Your fetishes include incest, experimentation, and harem play-"

"Haha! Who knew Lincoln loved to keep it in the family?!" Luan burst out laughing, sending Lincoln bowing his head slightly and his face turning red.

"Now Luan, I've seen your search history," Lisa glared at the comedian. "It would be unfortunate if I spilled what you've searched up recently."

Instantly, Luan's mouth went agape, before she turned and crossed her arms, her cheeks turning another shade of red.

"As I was saying, I have programmed yourself to have constructs of us as possible partners. Along with this, I am aware of your… rather complicated relationship with Ronalda Anne Santiago-"

"We're on again, off again..." He rubbed the back of his head.

"I am aware, you two are very open about this fact on Slap Book," Lisa had to stifle a chuckle. "And I am also aware of your feelings towards the female students you grew up with, and so they are possible partners as well. That way you will be able to enjoy a massive harem. For your experimental side, I have programmed in a female version of your stuffed rabbit. She is programmed to simply go along with whatever you suggest and in fact desires you above everything. She is the default setting as well, as to prevent you from getting overrun. She will monitor your emotions for distress and exhaustion and will care for you."

She handed over the pair. "And since I require samples of your semen for analysis, your pair is designed to collect some during use."

Lincoln took the goggles in hand, only for a small metal arm to come out and fly into Lincoln's underwear, causing him to immediately pull it out. "I think I'll just see that as payment for using this."

"Very well," She gave a small shrug. "Also, there are some surprises programmed in if the goggles deem you as desiring them."

"Sigh," Lucy went. "What did you see in my desires?"

The scientist replied by grabbing a black set with bats drawn on it. "You prefer monster play, the idea of being ravaged by vampires, werewolves and other creatures from the abyss. Interestingly enough though, you wish for your stimulation to also be done in a loving manner. Therefore, I designed your set to allow you to pick from any creature your mind can imagine. They'll be as rough as your mood requests, and you will feel loved as they do so."

"Wow…" Lucy took the pair in her hands. "You're… right."

"I know I am."

"Ooo, do me next!" Lana spoke up, raising a hand. Even as a grown woman, some old habits die hard.

Lisa paused for a moment, before shaking her head and grabbing the next pair, a blue set with a plunger drawn on the side. "Lana…"

"Yes?" She gave a wide smile.

"I have seen many disgusting things during my studies. Read about cases that would make even seasoned medical professionals recoil in disgust. But when I went through your list…" Her voice trailed off as she looked away. "It disgusted me." With that, she tossed the pair over, not even bothering to look where she was throwing. "Given the sexual nature of this experiment, I prefer to keep this as professional as possible, but I would not be able to do that if I were to talk about yours. If you wish to see what I made for you, just go and see."

Lana smiled in reply. "Thanks Lisa!"

With that, the scientist shivered, before grabbing a pink pair covered in diamonds. "As for you, Lola, your list of fetishes also makes my blood run cold."

"Hey! I'm not as bad as her!" The pageant princess pointed at her twin, the woman now having begun biting the set, only to find that they wouldn't scratch.

Lana turned her head and flashed her a mocking grin. Lola didn't even want to think about where that mouth had been.

"You're not," Lisa adjusted her glasses. "However, despite your dominant personality, you very much enjoy being submissive during your sexual stimulation. You enjoy mud play despite your overtly clean nature-"

"Lola loves mud?!" Lana turned to her twin in excitement.

Lola turned away and crossed her arms. "Only clean dirt! It's good for my skin!"

"First of all, that's an oxymoron if I ever heard one. And second of all, mud play-" Lana was cut off by Lisa clearing her throat. It still didn't stop her from snickering at that phrase, however.

"Moving on, I am thankful your uncleanly nature ends there. You also seem to enjoy having a variety of partners at your disposal, so I have programmed several of your pageant rivals in, along with Lana."

"Uhh why?" The plumber tilted her head.

"She had a crush on you growing up." The scientist flatly responded.

Lana turned to her twin with a starry-eyed smile, while Lola tried to hide her face with her hair.

"You'd look adorable together!" Lily laughed, before turning to her big sister. "So what'd you make for me?"

Lisa grabbed the second-to-last pair off the rack, leaving a green one behind. The set she held was lavender-colored with flowers decorating the body. "Lily, when I attempted to find what would arouse you, it was easier to list what you didn't enjoy… which was nothing. When I went through the messages you sent to your friends, you answered the question 'what is your fetish?' with 'yes'. This, along with the fact that I legitimately cannot find something you haven't searched up at least once, leads me to believe that you legitimately have every single fetish," she offered the headset to her. "Therefore, I have designed your goggles to generate situations based on what you feel like doing at any given moment. Partners and items will be procedurally generated based on those feelings as well. And yes, Carlitos is one of the possible partners, as I am aware of your feelings towards him."

Lily instantly blushed and smiled, before taking the goggles from her. "Thank you, Lisa!"

With that, the scientist grabbed the final set off the rack. "Now, all of you go out and enjoy. As for myself, I will be taking note of the sexual acts you participate in. I have spare rooms in the next hallway, each is designed for your comfort. Just make sure you're on the beds before beginning use!" She stepped into her own room.

The siblings looked at each other once more, before making their way into the hallway just as Lisa had instructed and each running into the rooms she had prepared for them.

9-6 12-9-19-1 23-1-14-20-5-4 1-14 15-18-7-25 19-8-5 3-15-21-12-4-'22-5 10-21-19-20 1-19-11-5-4!

A/N's

Omega: And there we go! I hope you guys enjoyed the first chapter of this soon-to-be extremely lewd fic! Next update comes in a week. I wonder if Auto, Abby and Flagg will notice.

Ghost S: Part of me does wonder how this will rank up with all the other smutfics lol.

Foolsgold Fenrir: Heh, well however it ranks up, the readers are in for quite a ride. So buckle up, buckaroos! And get your hands and fingers ready.