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I awoke abruptly to a scene straight out of The Lion King - except Balthus was Rafiki, I was baby Simba, and the audience of mismatched animals were three strangers staring at me like I was the weird one.

"Wha," I slurred tiredly in confusion as I hung limply in the air, my oversized cloak just barely brushing the floor far below me. "Wha's go'n on…"

"This here is Sunny," Balthus declared way too happily for my groggy mind, shaking me slightly in emphasis. My head flopped back and forth like a bobble-head, and I couldn't help but whine pitifully in response.

Balthus cheerily continued to speak as if he hadn't just given me whiplash. "I found her in the woods, and she decided to follow me home."

The girl before me with shoulder-length purple hair sighed and shook her head, a hand held to her forehead in what could only be an acute case of exasperation. "Balthus, please tell me you didn't just abduct someone's kid."

Holy shit.

"Holy shit." I blinked. Then blinked again.

Nope.

It still looked like a purple-haired girl – but it sure didn't sound like one.

"What a surprise. B's already been a bad influence." The girl with the red hair stated with an air of disinterest.

Oh, good - that one actually sounded like a girl!

…Though her blank tone and bored expression made me think that she could probably murder puppies without batting an eye.

Very creepy.

"Balthus!" The last girl, a blond, spoke up loudly with a scandalized expression on her face. "Teaching such vulgar words to a child is far beyond simply appalling – it is utterly unacceptable!"

Another one that sounds like she looks, which meant that I probably wasn't hearing things like I first assumed. I was pretty concerned there for a minute - like, I was worried that I was actually stuck in a dream, or that Kid Tiki's antenna-ears were tuned into the wrong radio station, or something.

But everything's fine.

Pretty Purple is the odd duck this time, not me.

Good to know.

"What? Hey, no, you've got it all wrong," Balthus defended immediately, pulling me in closer as if I were a shield. "I saved her from some bandits, and she had nowhere to go – Hapi brings strays home all the time!"

"Yeah - animals, not humans," Red – Hapi? – deadpanned, before staring at me for an uncomfortably long minute. "Still, if she was being held captive…"

"Those assholes were going to sell me to a magic mole-person so that he could run experiments on me," I decided to pitch in helpfully. Though my words did come out in a tired mumble interspersed with yawns, so to be honest I'm not sure how much of that they actually understood. I would have rather conserved energy and stayed silent, but by this point I figured I owed Balto a solid or two. "Balto killed them dead with his bare hands."

Huh. Guess I still wasn't over that. The fact that I was being held up by those very hands was a thought that I neatly packed right back up into its box and buried in the back of my mind because ignorance truly is bliss when you are anxiety's whipping girl.

Oh wow, Hapi's expression actually twitched a bit there, before settling into something resembling approval.

I mean, I know she's showing approval at the fact that Balto killed someone, but…

Okay, so no matter how I spin it, it's still kind of creepy.

…But I'll consider it a win anyways.

"While I'll admit that your intentions might be noble if that is truly the case," Constance – because I'm finally just this side of awake enough to realize who these strangers most likely are – frowned, accusation plain in her voice. "It still does not excuse your bad habits from corrupting such an impressionable young mind."

I don't think I like how she keeps referring to me as a child.

I mean sure, my Kid Tiki meat-suit is munchkin shaped, and if it were me in her position I'd totally be doing the same thing. Experience has taught me that kids are like part ninja, part stubborn sponge – you never know when they're listening, and they never forget the things you wish they would.

But I'm not in her shoes, I'm in Kid Tiki's non-existent shoes. And that means that I'm totally justified in not liking it.

Especially since I was older than her. She was what? Seventeen? Eighteen at the most? Whatever. The point was, she was almost half my age and I was feeling pretty annoyed and more than a little condescended right now.

"Take it easy, will ya? Kid's already threatened to punch me in the balls for no good reason, and right after I rescued her too," Balthus complained. "If anything, she was already corrupted before I got there."

"Street kids do pick up all manner of habits," Yuri tilted his head as he eyed me speculatively. I, in turn, eyed his eyeshadow speculatively – it was a very pretty shade of purple. "Propriety and decorum have no place when you're doing everything you can to survive."

I'm definitely not a street kid by any stretch of the imagination, but I totally get what he's saying.

The internet is a strange and horrifying place, and nobody escapes its clutches unscathed and unchanged.

Nobody.

But that's neither here nor there because at the moment I'm tired and cranky and getting really sick of just hanging here like a ragdoll. And I will be voicing my grievances at such an uncomfortable and undignified position.

Soon.

But first, I have priorities.

"It's Tika," I stressed, wanting to nip this nickname thing in the bud before it spread. Nicknames were like yawns – dangerously contagious. "Not Sunny. Tika." And then, because I decided that I liked Balto enough to grace him with a warning, "Balto, put me down or so help me I will bite you."

"See? Sunny's a vicious little thing all on her own," Balthus, instead of doing the sane thing and putting the angry munchkin down, thrust me out proudly once more like he was in front of the class and I was his object for show-and-tell. "I had nothing to do with it."

I growled, but I think the intended effect was kind of ruined by the fact that I was still dangling comically in midair. Or at least I assume it was comical from their perspective – because it sure as shit wasn't from mine.

The only reaction really worth noting was the slightly impressed look Hapi shot my way, and it left me feeling kind of indecisive. On the one hand, it was the complete opposite of what I was going for – but on the other hand, Kid Tiki's growls were rather impressive for such a pint-sized body and it was kind of nice for them to be recognized as such.

In the end - and after about ten seconds of intense deliberation - I decided the best course of action was to simply cross my arms and grumble incoherent obscenities under my breath while pouting.

When in doubt, pout.

I am one hundred percent convinced that Kid Tiki could go very far in life by following that simple philosophy.

In fact, as of right that second it was my new motto. My very own Hakuna Matata, if you will - since I'm pretty sure having no worries in this predicament I've found myself in would be a very quick way to end up super dead.

I mean, what am I likely to be facing in the future? War, people trying to kill me, war, people trying to capture me, war, people wanting to experiment on me, and did I mention war? Because - and I'm going to be completely honest here - I don't deal very well with conflict.

Like, at all.

So, yeah.

Super dead.

I don't know if there is an afterlife, either back home or here in Fódlan. I mean, sure, it would be cool if I could just go chill with Sothis without the possibility of future pain and death hanging over my head – but I was in no hurry whatsoever to find out for sure.

It's kind of ironic when I think about it, what with where and when I've ended up, but I've never really been what you would call a religious person. I honestly think the only times I've even set foot in a church in the past five years were for weddings and funerals.

And yet here I was.

Not only was I currently underneath the main branch of – in Jeralt's words – a ridiculously large religious organisation, but I was also stuck piloting the body of what might just be one of their goddess' close descendants, her literal flesh and blood. I highly doubt Kid Tiki would be Sothis' kid – what with her having been murdered by Nemesis forever ago and this body looking so young – but a grandkid? If Kid Tiki was actually Nabatean, I could totally see it.

…

I just had the very sudden and very strong urge to call Sothis Grandma.

Y'know, for shits and giggles.

I'm really hating the fact that I won't be able to see or hear her, because can you just imagine the look on her face? She doesn't remember who she is, so to have a random kid that legit looks like her calling her Grandma would be priceless. Maybe if I just talk to the air in Byleth's room? I wouldn't be able to see her reaction, but just the knowledge that she could hear me would be totally epic.

She was usually in that one corner in the game, right?

…

No, that would tip my hand a little too much for comfort.

…

I was very, very tempted to go ahead with it anyways.

Maybe while Byleth wasn't there? No, that's stupid – I'm assuming that Sothis has to stick close enough to her Crest Stone or she'd probably disappear or something. I mean, if she didn't go poof she could just go spy on people and let Byleth know what was going on. It would literally be a game-changer, since I distinctly remember the both of them being confused during more than one scene.

A little covert information gathering would have fixed that issue right up.

…

Wait, I got sidetracked, didn't I? Where was I…

Oh, right.

Street kid I was not, but Yuri did have a point earlier – I'd do pretty much anything to survive, even if my chances of survival seemed pretty slim when all I had was myself to rely on. Call me selfish if you will, but I was kind of completely averse to dying.

I mean, I may look like a Manakete-slash-Nabatean at the moment, but on the inside? I was totally still a human. And what is a human besides a blight upon whatever planet they end up on?

Selfish.

Oh, we try to dress it up with flowery words, try to say that we'd do this or never do that - but when it comes down to it the vast majority of humans would prioritize themselves over literally everything else without a second thought. It's just in our nature. I'm simply self-aware enough to just shrug and admit it.

Most humans are terrible and selfish beings - it's why I didn't like them for the most part.

Balto was pretty okay, though. He carried me around and fed me jerky and didn't get mad at me when Kid Tiki was being a brat. Bad jokes aside, I kind of liked the guy.

I think I might have been a little too caught up in my thoughts, though, because the next thing I knew my hood was being pulled back and Kid Tiki's ears and hair were literally popping out.

I blinked rapidly, too surprised at the moment to be nervous as three sets of eyes stared back at me in shock.

"Balthus," Yuri spoke slowly, the first one to find his voice. His tone was light and conversational, but his pretty face was completely emotionless. "Please tell me that you didn't abduct one of the Archbishop's relatives."

"What? No!" Balthus immediately denied, before pausing. "Wait, does she even have any relatives? I never heard anything about her having any family while I was at the Academy." He turned me just enough so that I was looking at him. "You're not related to Rhea, right? You said you didn't have any family left."

Hell if I know, Balto.

I mean, I know that I'm definitely not related to Rhea. This body though? If Kid Tiki actually is a Nabatean, then technically she is related. Which is… kind of cool, to be honest. Rhea's one of my favorite characters. And that would mean that she's related to Flayn and Seteth too, which is basically icing on the cheesecake.

…I think this might be the first time I've actually been somewhat jealous of Kid Tiki.

I wasn't going to say that out loud, though.

"I don't have a family anymore," I tried to say plainly, but my bottom lip started quivering without my consent. Kid Tiki was such a traitorous crybaby, it took me three tries before I could successfully clear the frog out of my throat. "And I've never met a Rhea."

Kid Tiki's possible relatives aside, my relatives were in a galaxy far, far away – and completely out of my reach. And I honestly have never had the pleasure of meeting anyone by the name of Rhea in my life, so…

Technically, I spoke no lie.

"See?" Balthus sighed in relief. "It's probably just a coincidence that she and Rhea share some similarities. I mean, that happens, right? The world's a big place."

Yuri didn't look convinced. In fact, he kind of looked like he was in pain – like this whole situation was starting to give him a migraine.

"This is absolutely unacceptable." Constance finally recovered from her shock enough to firmly interject. She stomped right up to me and started eyeing me up and down with a scowl.

I frowned. I know she was supposed to be a noble, and they tended to run the gamut from Mercedes all the way up to entitled prick, but was she seriously-?

"You should be ashamed of yourself, Balthus. Positively mortified." Constance shook her head, her glare turning on the big guy holding me up. "To stand here and make conversation with that, that-,"

My frown deepened and I started giving the blond before me the stink-eye, but she was still focused on Balto.

Finish that sentence.

I dare you.

You don't know it yet, but you are definitely within biting distance - and this munchkin is both cranky and takes no quarter.

"Hey, whoa- What?" Balthus edged backwards and made sure that he was holding me up between him and the irate blond. "What'd I do now?"

Thanks a bunch, Balto. Real chivalrous of you.

"That poor unfortunate child in such a wretched state!" Constance continued as if he hadn't spoken at all.

Wait.

What?

"The amount of dirt and- Is that dried blood I spy?!" Constance's voice rose up in a screech as she glanced at the side of my head with wide eyes.

"I- Well, I mean," Balthus all but stammered as the shorter blond began verbally laying into him. "I did say I rescued her from bandits, right? Pretty sure I mentioned that."

"And her hair!" Constance moaned as she eyed Kid Tiki's tangled and matted mess of green in visible despair. "Oh, her hair."

I…

I really wasn't expecting… any of that.

I feel… kind of bad that I jumped to conclusions back there.

Like, really bad.

I'm suddenly really happy that I didn't actually bite her, because then I would have felt horrible.

"The cloak kind of covered it up," Hapi pointed out bluntly. "But she looks pretty small, doesn't she?"

"I can only begin to imagine when the last time she ate anything of substance was," Constance glared at Balthus accusingly.

"I gave her what was left of my supplies on the way here!" Balthus tried to say in his defense, but it didn't look like Constance was going to give him any slack.

My stomach chose that moment to growl. Loudly.

Constance's glare deepened, and even Hapi's brow rose as she pinned Balto with an unimpressed stare.

Yuri, survivalist that he was, wisely decided not to put himself in the crosshairs of an irate woman, and instead chose to stay silent. His expression was still pinched, though, so maybe he really did have a developing migraine?

If that was the case, then I felt for the guy. Migraines sucked.

"Give her to me." Constance demanded abruptly with a sniff as she visibly attempted to cool her ire with a series of deep inhales and exhales, before holding out her arms. "She requires a bath, a change of attire, and a hot meal."

My arms instantly shot out, my fingers twitching in that way that kids do when demanding to be picked up.

I take back every mean thing I did and didn't think about her.

Screw Balto - Constance was my new favorite Wolf.

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So, I was completely gung-ho for a bath - which is kind of odd for me to say because I normally prefer showers. But when you've got muck on top of muck in places that muck should never be? Preferences don't matter all that much when there's a steaming pool of gloriously hot and clean water calling your name.

What I didn't realize, but in hindsight probably should have, was that Constance meant to actually help me bathe.

When the large wooden tub – well, large to me anyways - was set up in the middle of her and Hapi's room, she busied herself with going through the selection of colorful bottles they had on one of their shelves.

And told me to strip.

Well, actually she used more flowery words, like telling me to disrobe and leave the rags I was wearing on the floor to be set on fire later.

But still.

I mean, yeah, I may be in Kid Tiki's body – which meant that technically this meat-suit both isn't mine and is in the shape of a small child – but that wasn't the point.

The point was that I was still an adult.

So, yeah. I was feeling pretty awkward at the thought.

It hadn't occurred to me that her having grown up a noble meant that she was probably used to others helping her out with personal things like bathing and dressing. I mean, nobles did that right? Had servants and aides to help them with mundane things that normal people just did themselves?

Personally, I haven't needed or wanted help to bathe since that one time a few years back when I ran out of the shower while screeching to my grandma that I squirted shampoo in my eye and was dying. And even then, I only needed help to stick my head upside down in a bowl of water so I could wash my eye out - so I don't think it counts.

I'm an introvert. With anxiety. Who doesn't normally like being around other humans.

And I'm Canadian.

Being nude around strangers and letting them help me bathe really, really didn't make my bucket list of top one-thousand things I wanted to do before I die. It was actually one of the reasons why I dreaded getting old and needing said help – I've worked at a care home before and was not in any sort of hurry to experience that sort of help from the other side.

I tried to put up a fight – honestly, I did. I tried to convince Constance that I could take care of myself, that I didn't need any help and that she could wait outside the room and I'd be totally fine. I tried to tell her that I've been washing myself for years, and that I wouldn't accidentally drown in what amounted to a big bucket.

I whined and complained, and at one point I think I even hissed at her like a puffed-up cat.

But Constance was very, very insistent.

And I was very, very filthy.

In the end I finally caved, the mantra of 'it's not my body, it's Kid Tiki's' playing like a broken record in my mind.

It was weird, and I felt totally awkward - but at least it wasn't like a public bath, so only Kid Tiki was naked. Thank god for small mercies, right? Taking a bath with your eyes closed seems like it'd be pretty hard.

Still, it was only around the third time the tub was emptied and refilled with clean water that I was finally able to relax enough to actually enjoy being clean.

And, well, I'm not going to lie - despite my reservations, it was oddly nice to have someone else fight the battle against Kid Tiki's hair. Even with Constance's, uh, zeal for getting me as clean as possible, she was very gentle when it came to thoroughly washing the tangled mess of green I'd been lugging around on my head. I was actually able to lean my arms and chin against the side of the tub and just space out while she washed my hair, the steaming water scented with lavender doing an excellent job of lulling me into a state of relaxation.

I honestly can't remember the last time I've been that relaxed, but it was definitely sometime before waking up tied to a tree in a camp of smelly bandits.

I probably drifted off for a while there, because it felt like no time at all had passed before a hand was lightly shaking my shoulder and a voice was telling me that it was time to get out of the cool water.

I blinked sleepily and pushed back from the edge of the tub so I that could stand up. Yawning, I stretched before raising my arms up so that Constance could lift me out.

Don't judge – Kid Tiki was too short to climb out herself without making a mess, and I was not going to spend my time mopping up dirty bath water when I could be doing something else.

Like sleeping.

Those bunkbeds looked way more comfortable than the dirt at the base of my old tree, and sleeping on Balto's back was like sleeping while clinging to a rock.

I absently sniffed the air as Constance set me down on the floor, and my eyes immediately fixated on the bowl of what looked like steaming stew sitting on the desk.

Or eating.

Eating was good too.

I'd be down for eating just about anything at the moment.

My stomach rumbled, an enthusiastic agreement if I ever did hear one.

I was half-way to the bowl of food before a hand landed on my shoulder again, stopping me in my tracks.

I'm not going to lie, I let out a pathetic whimper as I turned to look up at Constance, my eyes wide and desperate. I didn't care if the stew wasn't mine – I wanted it.

"Hold just a moment," Constance said as she fetched a bundle of cloth from the bed.

I squirmed in impatience as she quickly dried me off with a large grey towel, my eyes locked on the steaming food.

Actual honest to god warm food.

I was salivating.

My staring was cut off abruptly as a white cloth was pulled over my head. I struggled slightly to get my arms up and through the right holes but was eventually successful, the bottom of the too-large shirt settling mid-shin. I let Constance struggle to pull Kid Tiki's copious amounts of hair out.

"There," Constance huffed in success as she managed to free the last of the green hair. "Now, while you eat, I shall do my utmost to rid your beautiful hair of these horrid knots."

That was all the invitation I needed, and in the blink of an eye I was scrambling up the chair and staring down into the most beautiful thing I had seen all day- hell, it was the most beautiful thing I'd seen all week.

Hot, unspoiled, food.

And it was all mine.

I didn't bother picking up the spoon.

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A/N: So I'm not completely satisfied with this chapter, but if I didn't upload it now It'd be another week or two before I got around to it...

Next chapter will have Tika settling in. She might do a little exploring, might get to know the Wolves a little better...